Follow your Instincts with Henry Winkler

So let me tell you who the Fonz was at least to me. I would love to hear it from you. First of all, sexy. Now what did I know about sitting differently in my chair right now? What did I at that at the age and I can't do the math, but I was young. It did something to me. It's like, woo. And the Fonz. Can I just say something? What? I'll wait a minute. I just want to say something. I'm a human being on this earth. I'm an American. I've watched you over all of these years. It'll be this powerful presence in the universe. And you're telling me. I want to just say, I don't have to say another word. I can go home now. This episode is brought to you by Rivian and Progressive Insurance. Hey. Craig Robinson. I'm going to show about it. So what's the whale for? This was in your honor. I'm surprised you don't know what this is. OK, tell me. This is a vineyard vine. Sure. Oh, you're trying to get me to be a vineyard guy. OK. I'm trying to embrace it and you don't even know what this is. Well, I noticed the whale. And I thought it was very cute. And I thought, oh, he's got a whale on it. Yes, it is a little sperm whale. Are you sure it's a sperm whale? I am. Did you research it? I did not research it. I can tell what a sperm. Do you remember back in? That's pretty good that he can tell what a sperm whale is. It's because of the whale. It's a port in seventh grade on shark whales. You still remember that? You barely remember anything I tell you. I but that's because I can remember stuff a long time ago. That's what happens to old people. They remember the old stuff and not the new stuff. Got it. Got it. What else is going on? So you're I understand you're moving the Rivian that we got from Marseys Vineyard to Rivian folks. Yeah. The Rivian folks gifted both of us cars, folks, to drive around in. And it's been fantastic. But my sisters moving her car from the vineyard from the vineyard to DC while we're in DC. Because we're just in the vineyard for the summer. Are you going to try and drive while you're in DC? No, DC would be a hard place for me to drive because I still I still drive in a motorcade when I do drive. So it's just the only place you can do that is on a small island when it's quiet. Right. So, but I think we're we're going to have it there so that when the girls come home to visit, there's a car for them to drive. They complained about that the last time because we realized we don't we don't have a car. Yeah. We didn't have a car until we got these Rivians. Yeah. Right. So. Yeah. So there's a really neat feature that I would like to say that I figured out. That's really Aaron figured out my young. Yeah. It takes kids to take kids with all this technology to figure out what's going on. Well, tell me because I'm I never know what so all the features because there's so many. When your car is in park, that big screen that you use for navigation and for all the the functions of the car becomes like a television. So he can watch, you know, if he if he actually logged into our TV network, he can watch whatever we he can get all your streaming apps on on their own. Every single thing on there, that sounds dangerous. It does sound like Rivian doesn't want you ever to leave the car. Rivians like you can live here. Get a Rivian. Save on rent. Oh, and speaking of rent, you know, I mentioned to you, I'm I'm staying in an Airbnb again this time. First, let's stop on that segue. Oh, that was a smooth segue. What do you think? Speaking of rent. I'm like, I'm. I'm like, I'm right. Okay, speaking of rent, I like that. It's impressive. Thank you. Thank you. Get a compliment from you is so rare. So rare. So I'm going to I'm going to savor it. Savoring it. But no, you know, we are with Austin being a sophomore. We're embarking on these college trips now. Oh, yeah. Are you? You started that already? We did, but it's just I think. Now that we have grown accustomed to the Airbnb's, it's just a much more comfortable way to have a main place to camp out, have meals, do laundry, and then go see school. You know, go see school. Well, and you can definitely be because not all college campuses have great hotel amenities. You know, because sometimes they're in small towns and they're off the beaten path. Anyway, let's not digress. We are. Yes, you go ahead. We're so excited. We can't even talk. Our guest today for Craig and I Henry Winkler is a household. He was he we grew up with him. Yes. We literally. Yes. With happy days, the cunning hams, the funds, and that was just sort of a part of. I remember all the spin-offs. That was part of our that was the wallpaper of our life. Oh, man. And to have him here joining us on IMO is is such a treat. And we're going to talk about this when he comes out, but all the way from happy days to now, he's an author. And but I want to I mean, he's he's in a show that I happened upon Mary. Yeah, you've been telling me that. I've been telling you about it. And I said to Henry when I met him, I got a chance to meet him and say hello. And I was like fanboying all over the place. But I didn't know he was in it originally. And so I went to watch it and lo and behold, he's in it. And then I watched all the up. It's like four seasons. I was just you got to hook off and run it. All right. Well, I'm looking for I'm going to catch up on Barry is he been raving about it. But let me give him the proper introduction. Henry Winkler has over 50 years, 55 oh years of success in Hollywood and continues to be in demand. And not only as an actor and a producer, but as I said, an author, he's a bestselling author of children's books that are wonderful. His autobiography, Being Henry, The Fonds and Beyond was a New York Times bestseller for the 10 or 11 weeks there. And then we just found out he is going to be celebrating his 80th birthday. Major milestone. Major milestone. But and he looks just his hands. He's I mean, he looks the same. I mean, I mean, he could have worn a leather jacket here. We should have asked. Yeah. Well, that well, let's let's just stop talking and bring him off. Henry Winkler, please. Oh, come on. What a handsome man. Oh, he's so nice to have you here. Oh, my God. And now she feels so short. Yeah, most people don't realize we are a tall people, the Robinson's and Obama's. My husband is tall, of course. But I just want to say if you grew up with the funds, you grew up really good. I did. I really did. We did. We did. You know, we lived a wholesome life and happy days and the funds were a part of that. And you should know we were only allowed an hour of TV a day. So on Thursday night, I'm honored Tuesday night. Tuesday night. Doesn't matter what day. We're as long as you were there. That's a Tuesday night. Our hour was dedicated. Half of our hour was dedicated to you. Thank you. Well, thank you for being here. Thank you for asking me. And, and, and spending your birthday week with us. Yes. Well, this is a great way to start on my birthday week. Part of the celebration. You said to me, I should celebrate now for the entire year. That's what, yes. This is the kickoff. 80 is one of those. That's where you, you deserve a year of celebration. I deserve no need. This is what I. You're moving, you're moving around pretty, pretty well. Well, I get out of the, I get out of bed and I go make a cup of coffee. And then I have to go back to the bed and invite my knees to come with me. You know, they're still lounging. How are you feeling? I mean, what is, what is entering your 80s feeling like for you besides waiting for your knees? Okay. I'm very grateful. You know, people keep asking me, am I going to retire? Have you retired? And I think that is like the furthest thing from my imagination. I will retire when I am not able to do. That's right. Again, more, right. Do you know? I just, I think that it is deadly. Yeah. Do you get up every day with the schedule? Are you working five days a week? I work a lot. I have several jobs. I do a wonderful show on the history channel called Hazardous History. History of which when they presented it to me, I just loved the facts of it. I thought that this is outrageous. And let's tell the listeners, the premise, just so that they know because you just got picked up for a second season. Yes, we did. We did eight. Uh, it did, it did so nicely because people watched. We were now picked up for 30. And okay, so here is the premise. I hope it's not a sponsor. Seven up. 1927. Yeah. Bubbly. Citrusy. Yeah. And the refreshing, refreshing. And the tagline was, we will take the edge off because it was laced with lithium. Oh no. So you just won the fact of what we did, either to make money or thinking we're helping you and being taken the edge off with a little crack. Yes. Yeah. And that was legal. And that was at that time legal. So you, so you got Hazardous History. Right. So you're still working a lot. Our newest children's book came out on September 30. Is this your 40th? This is the 40th. The 40th children's book. Right. And then I did not know I could do this. And what I learned was that there's more than one way to do anything. I have a wonderful partner, Lynn Oliver. She types. I talk. Then she has an idea. I wait. She types. Then she reads it to me and we argue over every word. And since 2003, we have 40 children's books. The newest one is Detective Duck. This little duckling who dreams about being a detective. And she's an environmentalist. And she, it's she's a she. She's a she. I love it. I love it. And powerful. What age group are you targeting today? It is for emerging readers. So I would say 5, 6, 7. Then the next series is 7, 8. And then we have 4th grade to 7th grade. Wow. Well, congratulations. And you know, let's just to put that in context. Yes. When you talk about that you were doing something that you never thought you could do. Right. And that is writing because you're reading and reading because can please share with our our. Okay. So I saw about this. Yeah. Like until the cows come home, but I am dyslexic. And I could not read. I read my first book at 31 because I said I have to I have to read a novel like everybody else on the earth. Right. And you find out and I tell children every child I meet whether they want to hear it or not, how you learn has nothing to do with how brilliant you are. There are so many dyslexic human beings on this earth. And out of 5 children have some sort of learning challenge that are doctors and dancers and plumbers and everything. Yeah. Tell us about little Henry Winkler. I mean, your parents tell us about their background where you grew up. What you know, what life was like for you? We lived above our means. We had an apartment in New York City. That part of New York. 78th and Broadway. I went to PS 87 right down the block. The little boy that I wrote about first, Hank Zipser, went to PS 87, lived in my apartment. Did you did you feel accepted? Did you did you feel like a part of that community? That is a great question. I never felt accepted, but also part of it must be the learning challenge. Part of it must be my delayed emotionality, which I now know is true because I had to protect myself because every time I left my bedroom with a smile, thinking, hey, okay, let's be today. I was in a war zone. I was yelled at for something that I had no idea what I did. And I'm not saying, oh my God, what was me? Because I'm having a pretty great life. I'm just saying this was the way it was. So I stayed in my room and pretended I was Paul Anka. Paul Anka? Yes, I played with rubber bands around pencils. And I sang, put your head on my shoulder. I lip-synced it. And of course, gave a lot of speeches as I won Academy Awards. Exactly. So you were going to be an actor. I wanted it so badly. I could taste it. Did you articulate? Did you tell your every minute of every day? And what did your parents say? Why do you think I brought my business over here? And I said besides being chased by the Nazis dad, was there like a bigger reason than that? He wanted me to take over as a family business, buying and selling food. If I'm going to be able to buy and sell mahogany, the only wood I was interested was Hollywood wood. And I was told I would never get there. Wow, wow, so how did you hear? Yes, you are. Sit at this table. How did you keep your dreams alive through all of that? That is a good question, I'm not sure. All I know is, I just kept it. I kept the fire's burning. Somehow I found enough wood to keep that fire burning. This segment is brought to you by Progressive Insurance. A brand that believes home ownership is more than just a place to live. It's about fulfilling your dreams, unlocking a future full of possibility and building the life you've always imagined. So what was the most exciting thing for you about buying your first home? I think it was the fact that we could do it. I remember it fondly right after we got married. Barack and I, fortunately, were in a position where we had enough money saved where we could buy our first condo. And I think the process of looking for it, going from house to house, I hadn't even really lived on my own until then because I lived above mom and dad's house in the rental above the house. So I hadn't, I had never gone house hunting. And that process was was a lot of fun. And I did it with Barack. We were newlyweds. It was exciting. It felt like the beginning of the future. So yeah. And do you remember the highlight of when you found that first condo? Well, we started narrowing down. We were looking in Hyde Park. We knew the neighborhood in Chicago that we wanted to live. And so as we looked, we were able to narrow down to a specific development that we really loved. We saw a couple of units in that development. It was called Eastview Park. Right. We got off of the lake. And after a couple of outings, we decided, you know, this area, because it was enclosed, it was private. There was a private, you know, driveway area. So it felt quiet. But it was still a series of apartments. We could imagine the girls playing out in the yard and the children because then we didn't know we were going to have girls, but we knew we wanted to have a family. So yeah, we were able to narrow it down to that unit. And then we started really asking our realtor to find really good places in that unit. And we saw two. Okay. And we narrowed it down to the one that we have. And the big, exciting part about that was it was really right down the street from where you lived. Four houses down. Four houses down. Four apartments down. Yeah. It reminds me of what I found exciting about our first place was very similar. It's just the fact that you're looking for a place to live. But I remember our place, if you remember, it was a duplex condo and it had the spiral staircase to go down to the family room. I remember going to visit that before, because I went to one of the, when you guys were closing in, you brought, I think me and mom to come see it. That's right. And I thought that duplex piece was very sophisticated. It was, it was very sophisticated. And it was really neat having that feeling of, of home ownership, you know, and buying your first home gives you the freedom and control to build the life you've always imagined. And progressive is here to support that journey every step of the way. Owning a home isn't just a financial milestone. It's the confidence that comes from achieving a lifelong goal and the freedom to build the life you've always imagined. Progressive supports first time home buyers by helping them attain their first home and navigate the journey with online tools and resources, as well as financial support. Through a $7 million commitment toward housing initiatives in 2024, progressive empowers people to turn a house into a home, one that reflects who they are and what they hope to achieve. For more tools, resources and guidance at progressive.com slash open the house to see how first time home owners can find support along the way. That reminded me a lot of what our mom used to say is that you have to treat every child as an individual. She used to say that and she said, you know, I'm not raising children. I'm raising people. And so just that phrase alone is the beginning in the end. If you look at it that you're not raising children, you're raising people. It will completely change the way you approach that job. Exactly. And having a philosophy of parenting is important. I mean, you know, we live in a society people, you know, people want folks to pro-create. They want to stop people. They want to take choice away because they want us to have parents and bring forth life. But rarely do we have conversations about what it means to be a parent. Why do you want to be a parent? Because you have to know your own motivations for why you're bringing life into this world. I think that is probably rare. I actually, I've never considered that. I just did, you know, because it just seemed like the right thing to do. To do. I never looked at it in that way before. And I never heard other people say that before. Really. Why am I a parent? Why am I doing this? It becomes a thing you want. And like a love. And right. And your philosophy of parenting changes based on your reason. If you're having a child because you want to be loved, well, now you're looking for a friend. You're looking for this baby to be something for you. Right. If you are looking for somebody to live out your dream. Right. To be what you weren't. Right. Now that means that you are not going to see who this child is because you already have a sense of what you want them to be. Right. And who they are. You're not going to leave them in a room because you need them as your father. Right. I wanted you to run the business. Right. Well, he had made up that his decision up before he even got to see who you would be. Right. And I don't even know how the decision of what I wanted came to me. I always say that it was just a thing I needed to do. Yeah. I don't know why. Because kids are snowflakes. We're all grains of sand. Right. And we come here with, I think, a certain level of temperament built in to our DNA. Right. Because I think if everybody looks inside, we figure out, well, how was I that person? How did I know as a kid to be that? How did I know? A person grow up and then Croeteroy. Right. How did they know? That's right. That's right. I was thinking as a three year old, Croeteroy is my thing. And I don't know where it came from, but I feel so good. Yeah. I was worried inside. But if you have more than one kid, you realize that they are different from different planets. Greg and I, we were raised in the same household, right? From the same parents, same set of experiences. He's a boy. I'm a girl. We are very different people. Right. And I think that's what parents would say. That was apparent the minute we could come, even before we could communicate. But if you're not looking for that difference, if you're not looking to understand your baby, right? To understand that part of parenting is that you have to be listening to them and watching them because they are telling you who they are. Yeah. Very early on, which is why you knew because you came into this world, I believe, as an actor, as a creative, as a, and maybe that's why your learning is different, right? My learning is through my ear. Yeah. So when you say listening, I have to listen because that's how I learn. Reading is so difficult even now because you don't lose your dyslexia. You just learned a negotiated. Yeah. Yeah. And it's fascinating that you developed into an actor where you have to read. Oh. I chose a perfection. What did you do that? So you know what? When, with Isabel, there's a way. You wanted bad enough. You figure it out. I write it over and over and I, when I get a script, now if I do one script, I must read it and read it and read it underlined it in yellow. Let it go in. When I'm doing a series, it's like you're, you're working a muscle. All of a sudden by the 11th show, I can rub the script on my body and it goes in. You know, it, oh, it's an amazing process. So you're, so the fans roll, let's talk about that because that was, that changed my life. It changed your life. Yeah. It changed our lives. Thank you. But it really did. So you're, let's go before you get that roll, how did it come about that you auditioned for that and then and were you acting before? Would you start? I was in New York City. I went to, I have a master's degree in acting. I don't know where I got the nerve, but I applied to with it. I've got into one college out of 28. I'm in the bottom 3% academically. I applied to the Yale School of Drama. Wow. I just thought it was really important to know as much as I could so that I had some kind of foundation. I stayed for a year and a half in the Repertory Theater. I got $172 a week. I'm a professional. Went to New York, couldn't get hired, did commercials. You okay? I for supermarkets, sank a coffee, American Airlines. And then I did the Lors of Flatbush and then somebody said, you want to be known to New York, stay here. You want to be known to the world, go to California. Big decision. Went to California. Second audition. How are you going to be? Now I am, I am, it's just 1973. I landed Terra firma, California, September 18th. My birthday is October 30th. I have no idea how old I am. I know, right? It's like Craig, you're the math guy. No. Or it's someone with math. No, somebody will tell me. Somebody is going to write in. They're going to write in and you're going to know in a couple of weeks. You're going to get the mail. You're in your 20s. All right, 27. Okay. Let's just say that. I said, you know, I can't go and I can't be in a series because I was trained for the theater. And Joan Scott said, would you just go? Okay. I drive to Paramount in my rented Capri. It's green because I love green. It's like a little sports car. I walk in the room. Everybody is famous. I've seen them all on TV. Wow. My heart sunk. Now it's my turn. I go in. My hair is down to my shoulders. I have a sweat stain that looks like the Hudson River is under my arm. And I see the man, Pascual, he's going to read with me. He's going to read the other role. I only have six lines. And I don't know where it came from, but here's another lesson I learned. Go with your imagination. Whoever is listening to us right now, go with your imagination. I looked at Pascual and I said, don't look at me like that. I changed my voice. I'm looking at him. I'm a scared short Jew. I'm playing a toilet. I see the script up in the air. I walked out of the room on my birthday, October 30th, 1973. Tom Miller calls me one of the producers from Milwaukee. The set Milwaukee because of Tom Miller. And he said, would you like to be part of the show? I said, if you let me show the emotional side to this guy. When he takes office jacket, who does he have it to be cool for? They said, yes, I said, yes. Wow, wow. The funds was born. The funds was born. So you were nothing like the funds in real life. I never were. People like the funds at school dances. And I immediately became blood. And I said, I hear you. You sound so tough. I cannot see you. I'm just going to feel my way right out the door. Go. Please. Wow. Well, for listeners, people, because now generationally, we can't assume everybody knows what happy days is in the font. So let me tell you who the funds was, at least to me. I would love to hear it from you. First of all, sexy. Now, what did I know about sitting differently in my chair right now? What did I at that at the age? And I can't do the math, but I was young, right? I was under 10, right? To think. OK. You were 11. 11, right? No, no. No. Yes. So I was young. I was young. Preteen. And I saw on the screen the coolest. You did. You read tall. I did. You read. People said, oh my god. I thought you were taller. Yeah. You read six, three. Think, and even cooler version of John Travolta, right? Black, get black before John Travolta. Thick black, luscious Italian hair. Who knew? Right? I had it imported. Sliped back. Right? So the font is on his bike, black leather jacket, gray t-shirt underneath. White t-shirt, yeah. White gray. Yeah. That's cool. School. Just lean enough because even before you had the black jacket, at one point you changed to that tacky jacket. No, that was the first jacket you were right. That was the first jacket. Very hard to be cool in cloth. In cloth. Which did you make that change? No, no, no. Gary Marshall went to A&C. And with the network, we were in the network was in the bottom. It was the third network. There were only three at that time in on television. And he said, you know, he could be very hurt if he rides his bike and he knocks over in cloth. In cloth. They said, when he's in a scene with his bike, he can wear leather. He's got that black leather. And I remember that change because I think it did something to me. It's like, woo. And the font. Can I just say something? What? I'll wait a minute. I just want to say something. I'm a human being on this earth. I'm an American. I've watched you over all of these years. You know, be who you are. Be this powerful presence in the universe. And you're telling me, I want to just say, I don't have to say another word I can go home now. Wait till Stacy hears this. I don't care. I'm going to play it for her. That's segment. OK, I'm sorry. But I'm always in that. Also, not only was he handsome, but he was the strong silent. Did you just said was? What were you talking about the farthest? Oh, yes. Henry Winkler continues to be. I told you when you walked out. Yes, you did. Very cute. Very cute. Yes, I did. And I meant it. But the character type, which was, he didn't say much until he said something. That's right. He was usually the moral order of happy days. Absolutely. You know, you weren't the bully kind of was wasn't the bully. He was who I dreamt of being. But everybody was terrified of him. And but he had a heart of goal. Yeah. Right. And you slowly got to see that part of him. So Fonds became was really the heart of happy days, you know, in a very interesting way. So that's just the explanation of how powerful your character and how well you embodied that because it was sexy, cool, good-hearted, tough guy and loyal and loyal, loyal, loyal to a phone. I loved my friends. Yeah. I love the cunning hands. Yeah. They were the family I did not have in that mythical place. Yeah. Craig Robinson here. And as the holiday season comes closer, it's time to plan our holiday travel. And you know, as our family gets older, it makes it harder for all of us to cram into one hotel room for an extended period of time. So we have six or seven adult sized people traveling simultaneously now that the kids are getting older. So we need a little more space. We need a little more freedom. That's why booking a stay on Airbnb makes so much sense for our family. You know, imagine heading to South Carolina with friends for a cozy fall weekend or taking the family to Orlando over the Thanksgiving break. Instead of being stuck in a hotel lobby or eating take out food on the bed, which can be kind of fun. You've got a living room to gather in, a kitchen to cook these great holiday meals and make memories. You even could cook outside, which I love doing in the fall weather. It makes the trip feel warmer, more personal and way more memorable. It's those little things, more space, more privacy and staying in the coolest parts of town that make an Airbnb trip better than a hotel. Welcome back to IMO. We made it folks. It's December. The holiday hustle is just starting to wind down, which means it's a perfect time to switch into new year, new moves mode. What's one big move you want to make in the new year? Whatever those big moves are, you need a plan. You need a strategy. You need a partner. You need Shopify. 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That we're all in a state of continual becoming so much so that Michelle even wrote a book about it because you are not one thing. You are all the things constantly growing and changing into the next version of you. And every day and in every stage of your life, you're only getting stronger, bolder, more confident than you were yesterday. That's why Desert Tone Diamonds are the perfect way of celebrating all that you are and all that you are still becoming. They come in a range of unique, unexpected colors, colors that reflect your unique and unexpected journey. Warm whites, pale champagne, deep amber, smoky whiskies, natural colors that are truly unlike anything else, just like you. So this holiday season discovered Desert Diamonds and gift yourself something as unique as you are. And a reminder that you have so much ahead and that's why a diamond is forever. Visit a diamond is forever dot com to learn more. Now I don't I think I know the answers of this, but I want to ask you did being the fun's change Henry at all. No. He did while I was playing him. Okay. I had to I couldn't believe that people were actually talking to me because I was still Henry with a very low self esteem. So I couldn't I liked what they were saying, but it went through me because it couldn't be me. So it couldn't help uplift that feeling that your parents said, no, when I when I lived my my life, I was still that Henry walking around until lately about 10 years ago, I I was so confused. I met a therapist who if I were to give a gift to, I would have to give her a skyscraper. Yeah. Because I was a block of Swiss cheese growing up. And I wanted I knew I wanted to fill in the holes. And I want to become a block of cheddar. Yeah. Yeah. What did she do? What how did how does she do it? The woman says nothing. You went to the woman says nothing. She sits there and I say, hey, what about this? And she said, yes. What about that? What do you mean? I'm not. Me. And then if he forces you to look at you. And you know what? All of a sudden it's not so difficult. It's okay. And I have become strong. I don't know that you brought up Barry. Yes. I don't know that I could have played Gene Kusinow without going through that process. Wow. What led you finally 10 years ago to do therapy? I was completely discombobulated. I just I instead of walking a straight line, I was psychologically drunk. I think I was emotionally drunk and I don't even drink. Yeah. And I'm telling you, she asked me a question in our very first session. She said, where are you? I had no idea what she meant. What do you mean, where am I? I'm sitting here in this chair. That's wicker and not that comfortable. By the way, you can put like a question. I know. It's a therapy. Where was the couch? Where was the leather couch? And all of a sudden I started to answer that question over the years. It takes time. You have to really devote time, but it is the greatest time I've spent outside of my children and my grandchildren. How did therapy, this discovery, the filling up the Swiss cheese holes, creating your block of cheddar, how did it manifest itself in you? I will tell you. I think they, I mean, I really do have that answer because I enjoy it so much. I'm able to say what I want to say. I'm able to say, I really need this. I really want this. I'm not okay with that. I'm perfectly okay with that. As opposed to dance around in some sort of crazy chicken dance. You know? You're asking for what you want in life. Yes. Taking my place on my place on this earth. Not having those tools, most of your life, but still building a very long and very successful career. I mean, there was the funds, but then how many seasons was 11? No one has 11 seasons anymore. So you spent the bulk of your adult acting life in one of the most successful shows ever, playing one of the most successful characters ever. I am so grateful. And then you go on to produce direct, continued act. Like, produce because I couldn't get hired. Yeah. Produced because people said, oh my God, he is so funny. He's so lovely. But he was the fonz. He's the fonz. And there wasn't a struggle in those roles of creation to ask for what you wanted. Always. How did that work? Until about 15 minutes ago. I'm not kidding. What did that look like for you to run something? Would you second-guess yourself? I would. This is what I will tell anybody over and over again. Your mind as educated or not as you are. Your mind only knows a little. Your tummy knows everything. When you listen to your instinct, you're always in the right place. I love that. Whether you're at a job interview or you're going to date somebody for the first time, you get a bad feeling, you go home. You give the flowers back and walk back in the apartment. You know what I mean? It's so much for me. I enjoy your dinner. Yeah. Yeah. So you operated on instinct. You had to learn how to trust your tummy as you say. Yeah. You know, my tummy. And I tell that to everybody who will listen. We're taught the opposite. Think. You have to use your logic. There's an answer. There's an algorithm. But when you cannot come up with it, you let it just state. And then it comes up in your mind like the magic eight ball. And answer comes. And then your tummy knows if is that answer right? I'm sorry. It's an answer, but I'm not feeling it. Reason it took me so long to say it right now, because I was suppressing a burp. I just want you to know, right? That's a natural. Oh, okay, just in real life. Just not. I was just impressed. I was thinking that's why I was a metaphor. No, no, no, I did not finish the sentence. I was working so hard not to burp. You can't burp in front of the jacket. I was like, this is so deep. He's going deep. And it's like, oh, I mean, it's trying not to burp. Thank you. Thank you, Henry. Thank you for that. So, I am fascinated with how you've worked to be a different parent. And you are now a different grandparents. Yes. And I think I would love for you to share that journey because there are a lot of people who grow up in tough circumstances. They were misparented. They didn't know. They were unparanted. So you know how that feels? Yeah. Right? One knows how that feels. Yes. So, I said that I learned through my ears. So listening, because our children, if you give them a little bit and you say, you know what, I think you're going to help figure out what the punishment or the consequence is going to be for what you just did. Or you're going to figure out what your curfew is. Yeah, I can't live with that. Well, I can live with that. Okay. And if you don't call, if you're going to be late, you lose 10 minutes. My daughter, Zoe, went out at 8. She was back at 8. She lost all of her satisfaction. That was a very sad day. That poor girl got dressed to go nowhere. But it was her own doing. Oh my gosh. Hey, I told you. Oh, you got to do very few rules. Yeah. Again, I think that we were lucky in that we had a mother that was highly adaptable. And it changed the way I parented. You know, it was really, you know, you realize that you have to even punishments, you know, how you solve problems between one child and the next. You know, one child will listen. The other child doesn't care. That's exactly right. Oh, my goodness. I tell this story all the time about Malia and Sasha when they were, they were probably seven and three at the time. And Barack was traveling. So I was at home trying to get the girls to bed. They were, they were great kids, but this was one night that they were just being rambunctious. And I was like, get ready. It's time to take your baths. And no one was listening. And I was in my frustrated mommy time. And I said, well, that's it. You know, no one listens to me. I'm done parenting. You seem like you guys have this all figured out. And you can do this on your own. So have at it. My oldest daughter, Malia said, oh, no, mommy, you know, I can't do without you. And this is what I'm thinking. Yeah, this is what I wanted. I wanted her to realize that she needed me. So she immediately started taking off her clothes. And it's like, mommy, no, I don't know what I could do without you. Sasha, my three-year-old was sitting on the stairs watching all this. She took her blankie and she turned around and went back upstairs to watch TV. As if to say, like, thank God. At last, this is what I want it from you, lady. I am three. I can handle this. I'm going back upstairs and she got five steps up. And I was like, if you don't turn around and get back down here. And I was like, well, it worked for one. Didn't work for the other. Now, let me ask you a question. Are those characteristics in those young ladies now? Yes, yes. Exactly who they were. Yes, they have to. My younger daughter, she wants to learn her way. You know, she doesn't want to be told that this is how you do it. We tell her, but she's got to learn on her own. We have seven grandchildren. They are from 16 to nine months, completely different human beings. One is a dancer. One is in the theater. One is a mathematician. One of them wants to be an athlete and is on his way. The little three-year-old is enchanting. No, she walks through the world and moves air. You know, one is Eiffel Merman. I'm telling you, it's unbelievable. How has it been being a grandfather? It's different. Yeah. And it is. It's enchanting. It's enchanting. To hear each one say, hi, Papa. And each one gives you a hug differently. But they will give you a hug and they know that I need to have that hug. Oh my God. One of them, you know, the 16-year-old, she's beautiful and she facetimes me. Say hello to Roy. Oh, hello, Roy. Or she wants to put a mask on me, you know, don't do it. Don't do it. On your facetime, you become a rabbit or something. Yeah. She loves that. She says, don't you dare turn me into a rabbit. Like my daughter, my daughter used me like a gardening tool when there was a young man around. You know, just walk by him. Just walk by him. You're on television. Let him see that. All right, don't say a word. You're in the water, boy. Okay. I'm not kidding. Just move through. Just move through. Do not look. Do not look. Working on your mental health doesn't happen all at once. It happens in moments. One conversation, one deep breath, one session at a time. Growth therapy makes it easier to begin. As a coach and an athlete, I've always believed taking care of your mind as part of taking care of your overall game. You train consistently, you build the right support around you, and you give yourself space to improve. Therapy can be part of that routine, whether it's your first time in therapy or your 50th, growth makes it simple to find a therapist who actually fits you. They connect you with thousands of licensed therapists across the US with virtual or in-person sessions, including nights and weekends. You can search by insurance, specialty, identity, or availability, and start in as little as two days. No subscriptions, no long-term commitments, just pay per session on your time. Whatever challenges you're facing, growth therapy is here to help. Growth accepts over 100 insurance plans, including Medicaid in some states. Sessions average about $21 with insurance, and some pay as little as $0, depending on their plan. Visit growththerapy.com slash IMO today to get started. That's growththerapy.com slash IMO. Growththerapy.com slash IMO. Developability and coverage vary by state and insurance plan. Well you know here on IMO we like to take questions from our listeners. Okay. And hopefully give them a little bit of advice. And I think we have a perfect question from you that's coming from for you, not for what you meant. I know what you meant. Well the said that I saw it. I saw it happen right in the middle of it. I was just like, and do I let him do I let him let that go? I feel like I'm helping him. You know what I understand and really God bless me. Yes, thank you very much. But we have a question from a listener in Colorado. Oh, Terry in Longmouth. They get to wear sweaters. Yes. They wear the sweaters. I have five adult children. They are all married and have their own kids. My question to you is how do you parent your kids as adults? When my adult children come to me with struggles they're having, I sometimes find myself at a loss as to how to help them or how much I should be trying to help them. I'm curious what you think our place should be in supporting them. Okay. All right. So number one, you really don't have a place in parenting your adult children. Two, it is so difficult to shut up. Yes. You want to say to what are you kidding? You're holding your head that way. What are you feeding them? Okay. That's what do you mean she only eats cereal? All right. When you're at a loss you say I am so sorry. I'm at a loss because you don't want to say something that will not be the authentic. That is my feeling. When they come to you my daughter also talk in short sentences. A parent will talk in paragraphs. You will watch the eyes close over like hell. Oh, we're all laughing because we've done it. Oh my God. Short sentences. Oh yeah. I will hear you. Yeah. And I also say as a parent with you know just at the beginning your job is to repeat the same sentence for 18 years every day. It's true. It's so true. And then one day in their 40s they're like wow you are listening. It is so true. I cannot even tell you. Well it's like the toughest thing in the world is to and Craig and I we talk about this a lot is part of raising people and adults is the hardest job on the planet. The hardest job is that the goal is to as quickly as possible give them the tools to think and problem solve for themselves. To be who they're supposed to be. And also to give them some confidence that they can do it. And it's a hard thing to do is a parent to try not to fix everything for them before it's guilty of that. Yeah. I am too. I mean, Mollia was with us. She was we're staying with a friend and they whatever they have a chance to stay in a nice house. They do. They're just like we're coming over. You know, we're just to take a bath and to have nice towels. And so they wound up staying over last night because they stayed too long. And so they were sleeping in these beds. She got up and she's like, oh, sleeping in nice sheets. It's the best thing ever. I immediately say you don't have nice sheets. You know, what do you need? My baby doesn't have nice sheets. And she was like, mom, my sheets are fine. You know, it's like my apartment doesn't have air conditioning. They're too nice to suffocate. My point being is that I was immediately with you. I want it. I felt her discomfort and I wanted to fix it. And you have to resist the urge to fix their discomfort. You have to watch them. I say this all the time. You have to watch the person, the being you love the most walks straight into a wall that you see. It's like it's a wall. And you're moving really fast. You're going, oh, you hit it. Oh my God, I needed to let you do that. That's a hard thing to do. As a parent. The one thing you just said is I would put in the beginning of all those sentences. Give them the confidence to be when a baby is here, when they come and they're, they come full blown. And what you said is the beginning and the end. Give them the confidence to meet their destiny. Yeah. Yeah. And if you do that, young, right? So to our listener, to Terry, if you do all that hard work early, and early, I mean, I'm talking one, yes, two years old. And the question of how do I parent my adult children becomes moot because you won't have to. Right. Because you've already done it. You've given them the tools early on. And that is the beauty about being the parent of adult children. The only thing is I have to say that my daughter sometimes comes to me with an insecurity that is from the little girl in her. And then I talked to her not as the little girl, but I would say the same thing to the little girl who is that insecure at 43. We talk it through and she goes, thanks, dad. I have to go and pick up Jed now. Yeah. Yeah. I have to go pick up base. Yeah. No, I think that this is all really good for Terry. The short sentences. We have a get to meet Terry. No, we're working on that. We're working on that. We talked about following up with our listeners and having the questioners actually ask the question. We've talked about that. But Terry, you were talking about authentic. Yeah. So be an authentic and meesh was saying get the work done early. That's right. And I'm going to bring up something you said earlier, which is what your therapist does. Sometimes you don't say anything. When they come to you for advice, you ask them what they think. You know what? There is, believe it or not, a book I found when my children were young. It was called effectiveness parenting training or something like that. Take my word for it. And what it was is you only make noise. My son would say I am not going to school. And I just said, uh-huh. Oh, yeah. Oh, wow, you sound angry. Yeah. And he would screw himself into the bulbs, into the ceiling. And then unscrew himself, get in the car, put on a seatbelt and say hurry up. We're going to be late. Yeah. Don't say anything. So anything. No, right. I'm not kidding. That is a, that was a phrasier and Marion Robinson tactic. And for someone who is a talker like me, that was a lesson that I'm still learning. Yeah. To do more. Wow. Oh, hmm. Ooh. Yeah. But you know what? It's just by making those sounds. You tell the child, you're hearing that you're listening without knocking them. Making them off their, their path at the moment. Yeah. Or telling them how they should feel. Yes, right. Yeah. Our mom was good at that. And you know, she lived with us in the White House. Right. And that, that helped us get through. Right. Having a version of you, funny, sane, grounded in that house through that experience, kept us all together. For me personally, almost every other day, she stayed in a suite of rooms on the third floor. And she would come down to be there for the girls to come home. She never wanted to just have dinner unless we were having company because she wanted us to have family time just before of us. So she'd eat dinner upstairs. But every afternoon after I got home or every from a busy day at work, I'd walk up before the kids got home and just sat. I did the same thing that I always did. I just talked. You know, this happened a day. I read this, this article happened and I, you know, I watched the news and I just, she would just let me talk. And as the first lady of the United States, just going upstairs to my mommy's room and just letting it all out with her going, wow. Of course, the first lady of the United States is a human first. Yeah. She did that for us our entire life. That's amazing. And never had that experience. Yeah. Yes. You did know. But you turned out wonderfully. Thank you. Well, you know, like at least 87%. Yeah. Yeah. But this conversation, you know, we shared a lot of don'ts. Yes. That your parents amazing this conversation. Yeah. We appreciate it. I had no idea what it was going to be. I was a little nervous. Yeah. It's just. Yeah. And I feel like I'm coming for a lamp chops. Yes. That's what we want you to do. Yeah. I just, I like, I do and I like Minjelly. I just want you to be aware of that generation. Yes, I am. Yes, I am. Yes, I am. That's a thing. You know, and if you have Spencer roast, I like a current jelly. Okay. Yeah. Okay. All right. Thank you. Oh, this has been a delightful conversation. I mean, you, you are wise. Oh, wow. I did. You are. Well, hey, it's been very 80 years of built up wisdom that you speaking of 80. Oh, yes, we actually knew we knew birthday. So we had a little bit of a something planned for you. Happy birthday to you. Happy birthday to you. Happy birthday dear Henry. Happy birthday to you. And then we have to sing the black happy birthday. Happy birthday to you. Happy birthday to you. This is Stevie Wonder. Happy birthday. Happy birthday. Happy birthday. There we go. Go Henry. Go Henry. Go Henry. Happy birthday. Okay, we can stop there. Woo. Happy birthday.