I can teach people how to really see other people and connect because it's just something that I've always been able to do my whole life. Mindy Peterman is a compassionate, connection-driven, and influential founder of the Connection Community, where she cultivates heart-led spaces that help people break through isolation and build deep, meaningful belonging. Through retreats, guidance, and authentic human connection, she inspires others to recognize their light, heal hidden wounds, and foster community wherever they go. Why are people struggling to connect and build relationships? I think there's this internal isolation that happens with people when they've had an experience they were betrayed. There's a trauma, there's a hurt, there's a pain that makes them build up this little wall of isolation around their hearts and so they become more and more closed off to real connection and they have a hard time trusting themselves and trusting others. I think that has really created a disconnect in humanity. How do you want to help people and impact them. I'm kind of hoping to create a movement within humanity, create that meaningful belonging for themselves and others. Because when you create belonging for somebody else and help them to feel like they belong in the conversation, automatically that just makes you belong in it. I want people to be able to feel empowered to do that and take this out into their communities and help empower other people to do the same thing. It spans the globe like a super high school internet. Elders, friends, and friends. Today, Apple is going to reinvent the farm. It's not over until I win. The Living Your Legacy podcast for those who live to leave a legacy. That's extraordinary. The impossible. Oh, that is sensational! Took open. Chicago with the lead! You said Paul is the fastest man on the planet. You can live your dream! Hello and welcome back to another episode of Legacy Makers. Joining me today is Mindy and she is a master at connecting people and helping people connect. So really excited for this. Obviously, connection is so important in business. It's so important in healthy relationships. And overall happiness is the peer group you have around you. And she's building these epic retreats to help leaders connect with their communities and everyday people who maybe struggle to build connections. And so I'm really excited to dive into this. Welcome to the show. Thank you. I'm glad to be here. So this is an interesting topic. You know, like, how did you wake up one day and go, I'm just going to become this super connector and teach this and help people. There's got to be a story to it. So it started last year in May. I had a dream that I needed to write a book. And the original premise of the book was adult friendship, actually. And as I kind of started diving into writing it, telling people about the book I was writing and hearing people's stories of struggling to really feel connection in their lives, Even if they have friends or they have lots of people in their lives, just feeling that belonging all the time was really an ongoing theme that threaded every person I talked to. And so it kind of evolved into, I don't know, a few months later, I kind of just had this vision of being able to speak on stages, actually, and to crowds and helping people there feel like they could connect with and belong with other people there they'd never met before. just through sharing some of the premises of connection. And then that evolved into doing retreats based on interest, but then by the end having it be more than the surface interest. And it was just, I've always, whenever people have asked me, you go to parties and they're like, so what's your talent? And I'm like, well, I'm a really good friend. I don't know how to monopolize. I don't know how to monetize that, but I'm really good at it. And then this just came in like I can I can teach people how to really see other people and connect because it's just something that I've always been able to do my whole life. You know, you kind of said something important now that you kind of had this idea about the book, started writing it or talking about it at least. And you found a lot of people struggle to connect So you think that a common problem these days maybe because of the Internet and stuff Life changed a lot right Like why are people struggling to connect and build relationships I think there this internal isolation that happens with people when they had an experience they were betrayed or somebody just didn't turn out to be the friend they thought they were. There's some trauma. Yeah, there's a trauma, there's a hurt, there's a pain that makes them build up this little wall of isolation around their hearts. And so they become more and more closed off to real connection. and they have a hard time trusting themselves and trusting others. And I think that has really created a disconnect in humanity. And I've been fortunate enough to be able to heal beyond that when those kind of experiences have happened for me and realize that that person was that person and it was just an incompatibility, not a problem with being able to connect. I think that the problem lies in just this internal isolation that happens from past hurts. And that's harder to let those go and become vulnerable. Sure. Yeah. And then the idea of these retreats is what? Can you walk me through like, you know, people come and what will be happening and what will be the outcome of that? Yeah, absolutely. So the initial draw will be a common interest. So I've had ideas to do a book lover's retreat. and you bring your favorite books and everybody can have their own space, but then we'll also come together and we'll do activities together. That's a, like as a group, right. We'll do some of those modalities that can help you open your heart, cold plunges, sound baths, some of those, those things that create an openness within. I also had the idea to maybe do some sort of service type activity during the retreat that's related to the interest. So for instance, if we were doing a book lovers retreat, we could go and read at a local library to children for an hour, right? Or if we were doing a gardening lovers retreat, we could make floral arrangements and go hand them out on the street or something like that, right? Just something that gets you outside of yourself with what you love to do. And then also just do kind of some group activities that open up doors to conversation, that open up the doors to deeper connection beyond the surface level interest. I can share the techniques I have in my life that I didn't realize were techniques because they're just part of who I am. But just giving a genuine compliment with an openness about you can create a two-minute conversation. And in that two minutes, you belonged and the person you were talking to belonged. And you carry that with you. you carry that moment of feeling like you really belonged with the person in the conversation and that can carry on to your long-term relationships as well well i was going to ask you know the retreats sound great but just for everyone listening right now talking of connection you know obviously you're kind of really ex you know being becoming an expert in that and teaching it a lot what are some tips for people now whether they're in business maybe going to business events trying to network you know they say your net worth is you know your network is your net worth so how can business people connect better or everyday people maybe trying to reconnect with their family or friends? What are some tips you'd give them? Oh, so one is genuine compliments. One is just have a spirit of curiosity and ask questions with an openness to receive an answer. So for instance, I asked a lady at the grocery store how to pronounce her name. I got her story about her dad, right? Like that was random, but there was a moment, uh, in business. I think remembering that the people you work with are humans also having human experiences. And at the end of the day, most people just want to feel like they belong wherever they are. And so if you can create that community by just seeing beyond the surface job they do and see the person and hearing them when they when they say oh my daughter just had a baby we'll just take five minutes and ask about that and it doesn't take a really long time to create meaningful connection and meaningful belonging it just takes a little bit of open curiosity and receiving energy really looking at a person so that they feel seen well they always say it like in uh you know with working with people they they don necessarily remember what you say but they remember how you you felt you know you made them feel and they felt uh and that's part of that right like i mean especially you know a good example is coffee shops or grocery stores they're so used to scanning items 10 hours a day right hours a day right so as soon as you ask them you know i sometimes do this too you just ask them a random question they're almost thrown off guard what do you say as you know you ask because they're so in like this robotic thing and they're so not you you know they're not used to having people take interest in them that it's like it triggers them almost right in a good way it's like uh so i so i think there's a underprivileged skill in that is just being able to do that to build the connection uh and i've always found that you know i've worked with some of the biggest celebrities on the planet and super famous people and often I just ask them random questions about themselves you know like not the cliche questions like oh how was it working on that movie with the rock you know they get asked that all the time I ask them something random yeah and I've always build much better connections quickly like that yeah and then there's a feeling of trust that happens when someone feels seen when they feel like they really belong in the space with you yeah love that so next question if someone's listening they're like i'm introverted right this sounds scary speaking to people what would you say to them um so this is actually really um an interesting question because i have a lot of people in my life who um have claimed that they're introverts but really they're just more particular about who they share their energy with and so even somebody who feels like they're an introvert can have meaningful connection they may need to recharge their social battery more quick more often or they or for longer periods of time but that doesn't disclude them from the ability to have meaningful connections even short-lived ones in their lives because anyone can have I think an open curiosity and really look for the humanity in a person. Just start practicing it. And so I think even somebody who is introverted, my son is one of those is like, Oh, I'm just an introvert. And I'm like, no, you're very friendly. I don't know that you understand that like people love you and they trust you because you see them. He's very observant. He's very thoughtful. He also is a quality over quantity kind of person and so at a big a big event he'll go find the person who's sitting in the corner and talk to them well it's funny with the introvert because i mean half of it's the label they apply on themselves right and maybe that's people you'll work with and do work with is like it's the trauma thing but then it's like that one thing it wasn't just the one thing it was the one thing that then triggered them to change their perception of who they are and then that habit stayed in a bad way a bad habit stayed for many years and now they like struggle yeah I have um I have someone very close to me who in his 20s was just very outgoing very he just was friendly with everybody he loved to help everybody and then through time just felt like people only wanted to know him for what he could do for them and not really know him I've been working with him on just allowing people the chance. Just give them a chance to, to show you who they are. Cause not everybody are these people that hurt you. Right. And so, and every person has a light within them that, um, wants to be seen. Yeah. Love it. So next question, you know, talking more about the impact side, like, uh, you know, where'd you see this going over the next five, 10 years, like for the book and the event, you know, the retreats, how do you want to help people and impact them? Yeah. So I'm kind of hoping to create a, um, a movement within humanity to, uh, create communities of connection, to create meaningful belonging wherever you are. So at the end of a retreat my hope is that the participants go home and feel empowered and and have a desire to start creating those connections and that meaningful belonging in whatever community they in kids school community sports communities their neighborhood their work their everything around you if there's two people it's a community yeah and so to create that meaningful belonging for themselves and others because when you feel like you when you create belonging for somebody else and help them to feel like they belong in the conversation automatically that just makes you belong in it i want people to be able to feel empowered to do that and take this out into their communities and help empower other people to do the same thing and you know at some point i think i'll be talking on stages about this and helping people in larger crowds to do this and i don't know maybe be on morning talk show or something right just it's My biggest goal is to create a movement in humanity to help people learn how to really create meaningful connections in their lives and take down those walls of isolation. Love that. And if someone's listening, they're like, you know, they resonate with that. What are some first steps they can take? With me or just on their own? Either or. Yeah, both, both. Let's answer both ways. With me, you can find me on the connection, the underscore connection community on Instagram. and that is where most of my work is at the moment. This is still building and you can DM me and I will be probably, I'll be starting a podcast in the next couple of months and I'll put the link for that in my Instagram and my website is currently being built and in your own life. Yeah, just general next steps. Yeah, general next steps. If you're like, yeah, that's me, I really need to break free from this loneliness that I feel in my life. Try to go into your heart and let it know that it's safe with you. You're safe with yourself. You always belong with yourself. And if you can just go into the world with a sense of seeing others, that will help you get outside of your own internal isolation and see others. And when you do that and you start going into the world with that mindset, you start to recognize that there's, you're not the only one. You're not actually alone. There's lots of people walking around feeling lonely and just one person, just one interaction where you walk away feeling like, Oh my gosh, I got to know that person just in a few minutes. And I felt just so changed inside from that interaction. That other person you interacted with likely walks away feeling the same way. And now you've started a chain reaction and it can just build and build and build. Right. And then let's just talk to, you know, last couple of minutes, what's the legacy side mean to you? You know, you've kind of said you want to build this movement, but what do you want to be known for? So I believe a legacy is the positive impact you create in the world that inspires other people to expand into their legacy, into their impact. And so the legacy I want to create in the world is the connection. I just really want to leave a legacy of meaningful belonging can be yours if you just open your heart and your eyes a little and start seeing the humanity in other people. And I hope that that message goes far and wide and it can start creating movement in the direction of healing. Love it. And last question. If someone's watching this before they've watched your episode, what are they going to learn from your story in your main episode? That no matter what label they've put on themselves, whether it's introvert, extrovert, lonely, outgoing, whatever it is, that they have the gift of being able to connect. It's there. It's in everybody. It's just not always tapped into. good well i'm excited to see that episode come to life and watch it and guys go check out the full episode hopefully that resonated with you or share it with someone you know that needs help maybe building connections so important in business and obviously everyday life as always keep working hard have an impact and build a legacy i'll see you guys soon take care
