My husband and I got MARRIED a month ago...and now he vanished! -r/relationship_advice | Reddit Stories | EP2647

Hey, this is Dakota. And this is Angie, your favorite OK Storytime hosts, and we've got some great stories coming up. But before that, we have a quick two-minute break from the sponsors that keep the show alive. This is an I Heart podcast. Guaranteed Human. My husband and I got married a month ago, and now he vanished. What? Where'd he go? I've 33 female, been married to my husband 35 male for less than a month now, been together for almost a decade. Wow. Our day starts like any other day. We wake up and kiss and cuddle a little. He gets dressed and goes downstairs to make us breakfast. We eat in bed, and then he takes the plates and goes back downstairs. By the way, this comes from RepulsiveCandy6250, and if you want to spend your own stories, go to the r slash OK Storytime subreddit. I'm Sophia. I'm Angie. I'm Dakota. And we're here to give good advice, Goofley, but we don't have all the answers. We only know what we do. So let us know what you would do in the comments. It normally takes him a while to do the dishes, so I don't think anything of it when he doesn't come back up. After a while, I realized that I haven't heard a peep, so I go back downstairs to see if he needed anything when I discovered that he's just gone. He took his car and left. And when I texted him, I got this really cryptic reply that's like, I'm okay. I'm sorry. I'm so confused and starting to get a little panicked at this point. Okay. Put it in. What do we think's going on? I think he's a werewolf. Yeah, it's a full moon. Oh, and it just so happened that all of the other full moons in the past 10 years that they've been together, she's been out on a trip. Okay. She's like, it worked out every time. Why are you here? One time. I told you to go to Mallorca. Yeah. You were supposed to go on your girls trip. Please. That's the last I hear from him. I keep calling him on multiple platforms, multiple times a day and nothing. My calls go to voicemail, but my texts show as delivered. I go as far as contacting his best friend and boss to see if they know anything. And they both reached out to him, which he lied to them and said he would call me in the evening. So I know he's on his phone, seeing everything. He's just ignoring me. Now, here's a full timeline of why I think he's cheating on me. I mean, truly, what else could you think? I mean, I'm still preset on werewolf. This first thing that comes to my mind, honestly, I genuinely didn't even think about cheating. Yeah. I just thought he's just over it. He's just done. He's just done. I thought he was a spy. Earlier this year, I get a text message from someone claiming that she's been having an affair with my husband. What? This happened a while ago. And you've been kissing and cuddling? And you've been kissing and kissing? You've been kissing him? I'm just a cheelin. Oh my God. I hope no dittaline happened. Oh. She's been having an affair with my husband and he gave her an STD, so I should get myself checked out. Oh my gosh. Oh my gosh. He spread his werewolfism to her. Oh my God. He turned her into a werewolf. Oh my God. How could he? WTD, werewolf transmitted to him. Incidentally, also the name of my sketch show. Who does that? My first reaction was I'm being pranked. I obviously show him and instead of looking like he was caught, he was actually pissed and confused. We do a little digging into the number and discover it's one of his co-workers. She said she had screenshots, dates, and times. And I call her bluff and tell her to prove it and send them. She doesn't send anything and later replies with a long-winded apology about how she's so sorry she was just manic because her meds were adjusted. What's happening? I don't know who to believe anymore. Me neither. I don't know who to believe. Is he a werewolf or is he not? I mean, he's gotta be. There's no way he's not. You gotta like plan a date out two months in advance because you can tell, you know when the full moon's gonna come around and see how he reacts. Yeah, you're like, hey, we should go out to rigatoni's this is the name of the restaurant. On the full moon. That would be so romantic. It just so happens to have a big glass ceiling so you could stargaze while you eat the noodles. Isn't that sound nice? Isn't that nice? I proceed to just block her. She then goes off to try and contact my family members trying to get a hold of me. I wonder where she got my number. Turns out she paid a service online to get my number. I get another text message from a different number in July that says husband has been cheating on you with another woman since March 2024. The last time they had spicy sleep was on June 7th when he lied to you about staying the night at his friend's house. I'm in disbelief that this is happening again. So I immediately screenshot the image and send it to my husband so he can show his boss. I think nothing of it other than I can't believe this lady is pestering us like this. Two nights ago my sister, 27 female, calls us and is being very weird and dodgy. For context, she is low-key developmentally disabled from years of substance and booze on top of many mental disorders. So I just chalk it up to she must have taken something weird and is tripping badly. We chat and she hangs up then calls back saying that some crazy lady is sending her these weird messages. My heart drops to my stomach because I instantly know it's that crazy coworker again if someone messaged you and said, boyfriend cheating on you, I approve. He gave me an STD, blah, blah, blah. He probably would have given you. Regardless of whether or not you fully believe your partner, would you go get an STD test? Yes, I would too. Absolutely. Even if I was full, like, yeah, like, why would I ever think that? Right. Safety? Yeah. I would go get tested. Totally. Because also, like, which one? Yeah. That's important to know. And also, like, I would want to see what the proof is. I would not just say, like, because he could so be lying about being like, I don't know who that is in there. He's like, whoa, whoa, what? It's my coworker? Just like easy way to at least check that you're all good. Just in general, always good to get checkups. Totally. My husband leaves the room to talk to her. At this point, I think it's a little weird. He doesn't want me to overhear what my sister has to say. But I also think that, oh, he knows that this is annoying and bothers me. So he's just handling it. He comes back and I ask him if my sister sent him any screenshots. And he tells me, no, that my sister is being weird and dodgy. This answer is acceptable for me. So we ignore everything and just move on with our nighttime routine. After I discover my husband has ghosted me, I think back on that phone call and my anxiety start to take root in my brain. I make the decision to contact his supposed affair partner to see if I can get to the bottom of this. When I call her, she sounds manic as heck. Can't seem to get a straight answer from her and she seems out of it. She keeps changing her story or repeating things like LOL when I tried to press her to send the screenshots. I ask her, what is her motivation? Why is she trying so hard to show me the truth? And she just goes, I would want to know. She sends me a couple of screenshots of Instagram conversations they had, but none of them were, one, definitive proof or two, felt like my husband. The way sentences were phrased, nothing read like something he would actually type. He's like, he keeps howling. Yeah. I'm like, I've never heard him do that. Moon emoji, moon emoji, wolf emoji. Yeah. It just doesn't make sense. I still don't seem like him. On top of this, the content he supposedly shares with her, memes, cartoons, aren't stuff I would think he enjoys. I texted the screenshots to our friends and they also think that these screenshots are faked. Why anyone would go through the trouble, I can't say. She also had two screen recordings from her nest, just showing him entering her apartment. I think they look real, but AI deepfakes have gotten so realistic, so I can't say for certain. The video evidence feels off like uncanny valley. The way the figure or husband is walking doesn't feel normal. All her dates and times that she claimed they were together, I obviously can't recall exactly hour by hour what I was doing then. And right now I'm just trying to confirm or deny his supposed movements. I'm trying to give him the benefit of the doubt, but the fact that he's not responding makes me fear the worst. I personally am leaning towards that he is cheating. She just knew some intimate details that I can't explain. I know it's cliche, but my husband is the most kind, genuine person I know. He's incapable of living and going about his life with a lie as big as this. Also, I think I feel like I would have suspected something or picked up on something and I never did. What type of person makes breakfast for his wife then takes the bins to the curb right before he leaves his wife? Or maybe I never knew him at all. I don't know what's going on. Me neither! Like, since she has so much proof, it does feel a little bit like, Mopey, I think you're making excuses. Because that last sentence of like, what kind of husband would like cheat on his wife and still take out the trash? That cheatin' kind. I feel like cheaters have done way more to cover it up. Like, absolutely. Way more, but the only thing that is weird to me is that she keeps reaching out to like family members too. Like, I don't know if someone would try that hard to convince someone that they're being cheated on unless they're lying. You know what I mean? Yes. I just don't know. I'm just confused what's going on. I don't know what's going on. What did the sister say? Also, OP is like way too like chill. Yeah. She's like, yeah, people reached out to me. I said, what the heck's going on there? Yeah. And then my sister was being really weird and wanted to talk to my husband. I didn't follow up on that. Yeah. There's so many like strings that you should be pulling. Yeah. But there's a little left. I feel like I've cried so much in the past 24 hours and regardless of whether or not he's cheating, I think that our relationship is broken. I can't imagine a future without him, but I also don't know how a relationship could survive this. I don't know what to do next. Do I talk to his boss to see if I can get his schedule? Do I drive to him to confront him? Do I just wait until if or when he comes back? Do I just take the screenshots at face value and go, ease jading and file for divorce? I can't just sit around and spiral and fall apart as I replay everything. And that is the end of the story. Dang. So we're just never going to know the truth. I guess not. And that's the end of this story. We're going on to the next one. My wife has a secret affair and I'm too afraid to leave. Leave. My wife, 37 female and I 34 male have been together now for over 10 years. We have a child and own a home. Yada, yada. Dang. By the way, this comes from automatic citron 69 56. And if you want to submit your own stories, go to the R slash. Okay. Storytime subreddit and I'm Angie. I'm Sophia. I'm Dakota and we're here to give good advice to go believe, but we don't have all the answers. We just know we would know. So let us know you know in the comments. And I'll be says about two years ago, my wife was showing me something on her phone in her web browser. She zoomed out and I saw a corner page in the tabs. I didn't get mad. I was actually laughing and asked her what that was and she took the phone away quickly and tried playing dumb. I said that I saw what the page was and she then told me that she actually heard a rumor about miss Rachel doing a video in the past. So she wanted to look it up and see if it was real. I took her word for it at the time, but I felt that that was not the whole story. Next, I did something I shouldn't have done and I looked through her phone when she wasn't looking. Tisk, Tisk OP. Come on. Tisk, Tisk. Why aren't we just having another conversation? Come on, right? You know, like, hey, that didn't really feel like the honest truth. Yeah. We talking about that? She was watching videos a few times a month, which I would otherwise have no problem with. It's a fairly normal thing to do. But when we first started dating, she told me verbatim that corn is cheating. Ah, why'd she put herself in that in that box? Yeah, she could have. She could have started out with like, I mean, I think it's actually perfectly fine. I think corn is fine. Yeah, but she put herself in the I think artist cheating. So now, right in her mind, she is cheating. She just didn't realize. She's like, no, no, no, you miss it. It's for you, for you. That's you. I would hate it if you were doing that. There you go. For me, it's just purely research. Right. It's just for the gods. Yeah. I was looking for Miss Rachel. That's all. A few times a month. Don't go looking. Nobody go look for that. Please don't. I disagreed and we never really chatted about it since. Once I gathered enough info, how often she does it, what she watches, etc. I approached her because I felt terrible that she lied to me. Okay, but now you're lying to her. Now you're literally stalking her like, yeah, phone. Come on. I sat her down one night and gave her the option to come clean. Tell me the truth and figure out the next steps. I told her I didn't believe her about the Miss Rachel thing. I told her I think there's more going on and asked if she wanted to come clean. She continued to lie. We went back and forth for about 20 minutes of me trying to get her to explain to me without me telling her I knew and she wouldn't. So I finally told her what I saw. She started to cry, blamed the lying and corn on her past traumas and said that she's been watching it since like younger than most people start watching it. I sympathized with her and told her I really didn't mind because I didn't think of it as cheating, just a satisfying a desire. She told me she wants to stop and to this day I have no idea if she actually did. She tells me she has stopped but jumped forward about a year and once again my wife is showing me something on her phone that her father sent her in Facebook Messenger. She backs out from the screen and I see the name in face of her long time ex like 12 to 15 years back sitting in her messages on Messenger. Dude, what is she doing? Dude. What are you doing girl? Oh my gosh. I didn't bother asking her about it this time. I figured she'd lie again and also I know that no matter what she told me I wouldn't believe it fully because the last time I confronted her about something she lied and lied and lied until I physically brought the receipts. And at this point if you don't trust your girlfriend to tell you the truth to the point where you're like not even going to bring up the conversation with her then maybe we shouldn't be with her. Sounds like it unfortunately. I mean you'd think after 10 years we'd be at that point. So I took her phone when she wasn't paying attention, went through it and saw that she had been messaging this guy for over six years at this point on Messenger. And they're not even Facebook friends. Notifications are turned off for his messages too. I looked through the messages and never saw anything too alarming except he tells her she's beautiful. How much he wishes she would move back down to Florida where he's located and some crude spicy related jokes he would say to her. He also offered to pay off her student loans which I am literally doing right now as the 60 hour a week working husband and she's a stay at home mom. This all pissed me off but I noticed that she didn't really reciprocate too much. But she did say that she loved him. Okay. That's a bit of a reciprocation. That sounds like it to me. The moment I read that this is what I look like. Yeah, absolutely. Accidentally dropped the phone down the stairs or off a balcony. Uh-oh. Uh-oh, spaghetti-o. I've been, I would have broken up way earlier and I understand that y'all are married and seemingly have kids. Have kids, yeah. But you just don't trust her anymore. Yeah. You don't trust her to the point where again like you don't even have conversations about these things anymore. You just immediately snoop on her phone. Yeah. I mean I could see why you would give it some time like after one situation of this. Yeah. You know, but yeah, it sounds like a year's like max, max amount of time. Fast forward a few months and I keep looking at the phone every now and again to see the conversations they have. What? Why? What are we doing? Why? She shares photos and videos or our child with him. I just don't know how to approach this. I don't want to end up getting a divorce and seeing my child a couple times a week for a few hours for the rest of my life. And March, my buddy cheated on his wife and his wife found texts between his fling and him. I told my wife about it because it was big news. This is one of my best friends. Later that same night, I see that she left her phone out so I decided to look through it and the messages between her and her ex are deleted. Seven years of texts wiped. So now I have no proof to tell her that I know she has been talking to him. So I let it go and see if something changes over the next few weeks. What? OP, this is the kind of thing... So you let it go? You do not need proof for her. You need proof for a lawyer. Yeah. But you do not need proof to tell her, hey, I know that you're cheating. Yeah. Like, what are you looking for? Yeah, it's been a year of this? Yeah, like over a year. Over a year of this? Of just him knowing too. Yeah. I don't know what you're waiting for. I feel like OP is afraid to end this relationship. Mm-hmm. And so just keeps putting it off? Yeah. But it needs to be... Yeah. Ended. Yeah, you're probably in denial. I'm hoping that she just stops talking to him and tells him to boot some rocks. Well, that doesn't happen. And one night when she and my child went to sleep over at her grandmother's house, which she did weekly to care and spend time with her, I saw that he asked if she could talk. She said yes. It was midnight. I didn't see the call log, but I saw the messages before and after. She's out of the house. I'm assuming she has her phone with her. Yeah. Unless there's like an old phone or something like that. They were on the phone for almost an hour. And the only reason it ended was because our child woke up looking for her, which means she called him on another app or through his phone number. Hmm. I got my phone and took a photo of the messages. I've been doing this for a few months now, but now she has all of her social media apps in a locked folder that only her face can open. Okay. Which I assume she did because she was probably assuming that I was looking through her phone. Yeah. So you're doing a bad thing. And looking through her phone and now she, because she's lying, has locked the folder. Yeah. Why are we still together? This is really funny because this is like, you both know exactly what's going on. Yeah. She is cheating. You know she's cheating. She knows you know she's cheating. No one's talking about it. No one's talking about it. We're just going to go about this as normal. Yeah. As we would if we did talk about it, but we're not going to. I guess not. Crazy. Insane. Insane. He's, she's cheating. He's just hanging on because he doesn't want it to be over. Yeah. It sounds like, but that's it. That's it. You know, you know, you know, dude, you know, you know what I have to tell you because you know, you know, and now you have proof. So maybe you could get a little more custody in the, in the, you know, if you, if that's what you want. Yeah. I don't know what he wants. I don't know, man. He wants to not have this exist. Yeah. Which is fair. He's supposed to stick his head in the sand like a little ostrich. Yeah. So now I'm here completely in the dark. Not sure if they have conversations on multiple apps or what they share with each other. I want to call her out on it, but I'm afraid that I just won't believe anything she says because of what occurred with the corn situation a few years back. That was a few years back now. Yeah. I also don't want to because I'm afraid it will lead to a separation and I've worked hard for the little I have. I don't want to have anything. I don't want her to be able to take half of it and then take my child and move to Florida and have another man raise them. Do I bring it up? Leave it be. He does follow her on Instagram now. I just noticed this yesterday. I guess they talk on there as well. And that's the end of that story. But I mean, I don't know how legal stuff works, but she can just move. Yeah. I don't think you can just I understand the fear, but I think it's possible that she doesn't take exactly half in the divorce because of the adultery. Like I think doesn't depending on what state you're in. I am sure that she wouldn't be able to just like get full custody. Or at least like I don't think she would be able unless she did get full full custody. I don't think she'd just be able to up and leave this state either. Yeah, exactly. So yeah, I think that you'll be okay. You just seem a little worried right now, which is very understandable again. But um, yeah, talk to a lawyer. Please. You have screenshots now. That's good. Sure do. Mm hmm. Yeah, we do. Yeah, Sean says OP shut the f up. She can't just move. Yeah, makes sense. Makes sense. Depends on the state. Amanda says rules are so different. So good luck to you OP. But that's the end of that story. We've got another one coming right up. My husband inspects my phone daily while secretly cheating the whole time. Classic cheaters thinking everyone else is cheating. So for starters, me and my husband have a good relationship. We don't play games and we don't hurt each other's hearts and we're very careful with what we say. We share location and we're very open and we have our own savings, but same checking. He's black. I'm Hispanic. I know that matters to some people and we just had a newborn baby. He is now two months old. By the way, this comes from mistake. No 42 94. And if you want to submit your own stories, go to the r slash. Okay. Storytime subreddit. I'm Sophia. I'm Angie. I'm Dakota. And we're here to give good advice. Goofy, but we don't have all the answers. We only know what we do. So let us know what you would do in the comments. I love my husband. I really do, but I'm starting to realize signs that are scaring me and I'm not sure if I even have evidence for starters. My husband knows my password and he's allowed to go on my phone anytime, but because I trusted him, I never asked for his password and I do not go on his phone. But lately ever since this marriage started, I have this feeling that something is wrong and I'm not sure if he's cheating on me or has cheated on me or some pointers. My husband says it was my mom, but I'm not sure anymore. Supposedly she told them you might want to check her phone because I've been hearing her talk to people. I come from a very toxic household where I couldn't talk to my friends and then I was talking to one of my best friends at the time. She was really nice, but hated my mom. Well, I ran away and I lived with my husband. I have a diary on my phone and I write my personal stuff because I have short term memory loss and I keep it very private. My husband wants to see what I was texting and I got nervous because it's weird to others what I'm doing. So I kind of hid it away. Later on that day, he grabbed my phone. I tried to grab it back because I thought it was odd and he ran away with it. I was going to chase him until I realized what he's doing and he's going to go through my phone and I let him. And of course he found nothing because I'm not a cheater immediately. Immediately. I'm considering breaking up. I think it should be. It's like, okay, well, even if I cheated, even if I didn't, if you don't trust me, then we shouldn't be together. To even have a conversation. You just stole my phone. Yeah, like a little gremlin. You could have a conversation could have happened and that could have been better. But like, what are you doing? Besides the next texting me, but I already texted him to not text me again and I blocked his butt. But beside that, thinking about it now, only a cheater thinks the person is cheating on them. I've heard of that phrase and I've seen it in many relationships, so it does scare me. But I also know sometimes people like me just worry and want to go through the phone. At the same time, though, my actions were just and not wrong. Next story, my husband has an ex and probably has a kid with her and he takes care of her second child and sends money here and there. I think it's not possible. I think that child is his. I think why would he be doing that if that child was not his? I think he has a child. I think OP. OP. It's his child. But every single time he talks to her, he does treat me like crap and is disrespectful to me. I don't know why I don't bring it up, but I know one day I'm gonna snap. As examples, there was a time he wanted to go get some shoes. I said, I know the best places and we went to the mall. He wanted to get the little boy these really nice white shoes. I gave him a heads up. Kids are very dirty. Are you sure you want to get him that? And he said, I don't care. They look so cool and he'll love them. That made me happy. So I agreed. We went to the mall and I showed him the white shoes. He was looking at ones that were similar, but he looked at me in a way that did hurt me and said, except that white shoes are going to get dirty and pointless. So don't buy them and don't pick another pair. Honestly, that unalive me and I was pregnant at the time. So I just completely stopped because I know if I say something, I'm going to let heck loose. Now, I don't think he's cheating on me with her because she cheated on him. But I think it's evidence of him just being disrespectful. But recently from three months ago to now, I've been seeing girls text him on Facebook, Snapchat and his old TikTok account until they got deleted. I know he still followed other girls, especially corn stars. You knew that? You knew that already? And has been messaged by girls that are half unclothed. I'm not surprised most guys do. But the thing that shocked me is even though I did the same thing, everything else, but corn stars, I unfriended every single guy and girl that was showing skin or thirst traps because I take my relationships very seriously and I'm no longer single. You unfriended every single person that was showing any amount of skin? What? This sounds exceptionally unhealthy. Yeah. People just sometimes like post pictures. Yeah. And then if you feel like that's some sort of disloyalty that you're feeling, you scroll by and you don't like it. That's what you do. Crazy. You don't have to unfollow them. This is not a reason or a way that you need to take your relationship seriously. If that's what you want to do, whatever. You just don't want to follow those people? Sure. Sure. Because they're in a relationship? Yeah. Like I just really urge you to not do that. I don't know. Just relax a bit. I get that like some people are like that and those people just need to find each other. Yeah. And like, I don't know, isolate themselves both or whatever, whatever, because it's just going to happen. So it might as well happen to someone who agrees, but it's just like, dude, you don't need to do all that. Obviously, he's doing more suspicious stuff, but like, you don't need to do that, girl. OP just leave. I think it's so crazy that OP is willing to do that, but then is also like aware that her partner has a secret affair child he's sending money to. And she's not done anything about it or confronted him about it. Yeah. She's they've talked about it. Yeah. They've picked out they've went baby shoe shopping together for his his possible baby with an X. Well, it seems like this baby was before her time. Like, okay. So now it seems. Yes. Well, I mean, I feel like you could probably figure it out by age. That is. Yeah. However, it is crazy that we're even using the word possible. It's very crazy. This is his kid. It's just his kid. And I mean, you know, that could be fine. That's like fine. He could just have a kid with an X, but I don't know why you're saying possible. I don't know why. I don't know. I don't know. He hasn't and still hasn't. And I have seen him check out girls a lot of times, especially when I was pregnant. Oh, man. But last night I saw someone was texting him and it weirded me out today. I don't know why and it's not like me, but I made the excuse to take pictures of my baby because I'm out of storage real fast. I went to his Snapchat and I saw he sent a picture to a girl four days ago. This girl is Hispanic. Just his type. I have no idea who she is and I'm not sure if I want to know. I know I can find out more evidence, but I'm actually scared to. And if he is cheating, I don't know what to do because I can't leave. I have nowhere to go. I'm a homestead mom and because of my toxic household, I wasn't able to graduate school. Now don't get me wrong. My husband is wonderful in one way. I really don't believe that. In what way is he wonderful? I really don't believe that. He took me when I was down. He paid off my bills. He keeps me emotionally intact. Not very well. Doesn't seem like it. When I'm not strong and physically pleases me also and I do everything the same. Not only that, I don't mean to toot my own horn, but I'm very volumptuous and I'm pretty. And I catch a lot of male gaze. So I know I'm pretty to look at for my husband. Let them go. Let those male gaze go. Please. It deserves to be out there. What is this? The vibe changes crazy. It's so weird. She's like, I think my husband's cheating on me. So I've been looking at his phone, but also he's amazing. Yeah. And also like he's definitely lying to me about these things. And also that whole shoe exchange was weird. So weird. It was weird. I just don't like it. I like this guy. All right. No. And emotionally, I am the strongest at times and the smartest when it comes to situations. What are you talking about? Give me a situation and I'll be the smartest guy in the box. I'm just going to have to hard disagree with that based on this situation. Yeah. But if I'm good enough in both senses, why would he cheat on me? I don't know, girl. That's the question that all people who have been cheated on ask. That's the answer to that doesn't lie within you. No. It does. It's not about you. Yeah. None. Exactly. It's simply that it's not you. Literally what are you doing? Yeah. Because I don't know. Like I want to give you some grace OP because he's probably just been pre-manipulative and like, you know, not handling your emotions well. Yeah. From the few examples that we've seen, it seems like he is not a great partner. So, you know, I'm going to give you some grace there, but like, please let's reflect on this stuff a bit. Because to me, this doesn't even sound like a, oh, what do I do kind of story? This is a story where these are all bullet points of why we're going to break up with him. I agree. And you can't just keep saying, well, he's done this, this, this, this, but he's wonderful. Yeah. It doesn't, that doesn't work. It doesn't work. No. It doesn't work. You can't make me believe that. Not only that, I'm Christian with Christian values and I treat my husband like a king. I cook for him constantly and everything. But if he can't do the simple things that bother me without me telling him, I don't know what to do. I'm just going through a lot because I'm 50% sure of what I said. Either he's cheated on me, could have almost cheated or is definitely cheating right now. None of those options are he didn't cheat on me and I'm going to stay with him because he's a great guy. I'm 100% sure that it's any one of those three. Yeah. I don't like it. I don't like, I think people can have the values that they want to have. People can choose a lifestyle that they want to have, but I really hope that you don't think that you have to stay with this guy and let him cheat on you to be a good Christian. Yeah. I'm not Christian. I'm not going to speak on how you should be a Christian, but I just really hope that you don't think that mistreatment and accepting of mistreatment is along with your religion. No. And that's the end of this story. We're going on to the next one. Hey, it's Dakota, your favorite goofball host here. And we're going to get back to the stories, but here's three minutes of ads from our sponsors. 20 kilograms of luggage allowance as standard. More hotels built around what you love like that swim up suite. More ratio to the bottom water parks on site. More. Oh, that looks good. Food options from poolside snacks to ala cart dining. Book on app in store or online. You book it to resort it. At all and after protected keys and C's apply selected hotels only see website for details. My sister revoked my boyfriend's invite after seeing the DMs I hid. Well, yeah, if you had to hide the DMs, that's not a great sign. My sister Eve, not afternoon, got engaged last year and I, 29 female, am her maid of honor. She is 34 female. We are not always close, but we are really close now. She is my big sister and has always been really protective of me and I've had really bad experiences with men, but also been lucky to know what a good man looks like. By the way, this comes from fun flower 95. And if you want to speak old stories, go to the R slash. Okay. Story dumps. I'm Riley. I'm fun flower. I'm Dakota and I'm Vincent and we're here to give good advice. Goofley, you're here to comment. Let's get into it. My boyfriend Kevin 33 male of three years really messed up. I broke down and told Eve what happened before I even talked to Kevin. Probably a mistake because I was just devastated after confronting Kevin. I chose to stay. He definitely cheated, right? Yeah, because it's so bad. You won't even say it on the post because you know, if you set it on the post, everyone would be like, what are you doing? Even though I had my car packed, it felt like he used all the bad for me manipulative tricks, but it worked and I'm still here. I really do love him and care for him. But now Eve is refusing to acknowledge or talk to him. She also revoked his invitation to her wedding. Eve does not want him in the wedding photos and she does not trust him anymore. I totally understand and I'm not sure if I even want him at the wedding anymore. We are still working on us, but if things do not work out, I do not want him to be in those photos. I want to express that I am not mad at my sister. I am more on her side than his. He made a huge mistake and now he is suffering the consequences, but I am right in the middle of it. He is devastated. He loves my family and now feels like everything is falling apart. So do I. Thanksgiving and Christmas are coming up. Eve is getting married in a few days after Christmas. How am I supposed to have my boyfriend around the family for Thanksgiving and Christmas dinner? Eve does not want to talk to him at all. It will be obvious she is sworn to secrecy and will not tell anyone, especially not my parents. But if she acts like that, they will know something is up. And all they will want to talk about is the wedding that my boyfriend knows he is not invited to, but cannot tell anyone he is not invited to. I am the maid of honor, so I have to be involved. It's just a mess. When he is not at the wedding, I will have to lie and say he has the vid. And afterwards, I don't know. Should Kevin talk to Eve? Should he try to remedy it? Is the relationship over? Third time's the charm. Yeah, the relationship's over, dude. I cannot imagine being with someone my sister does not trust. My parents, my dad especially, love Kevin. I found out that he has been messaging his exes and another woman in April from this year. Really nasty stuff. One was even a closure message to someone he fell in love with years ago. He also messaged Vots on Instagram posting as SpiceyLatinas. We have lived together for over a year, so I slowly started organizing and gathering things. I was prepared to leave and it took me weeks to confront him because I felt so hard. I knew my life, our relationship would change. I was scared to lose that comfort I found him in. I chose to forgive him. We had a big talk. I said he needed to step up. Yada yada. Months later, nothing changed. He was still up to his antics of not being a very good boyfriend. Just unsupportive, unhelpful, lazy. September comes around. We're watching TV. He's on X and I see him go to his messages and quickly exit out. I knew something was up. I decided to check his socials while he was at work. Lo and behold, I found new messages with the bot on X. She was sending him almost spicy pics and whatnot and he was responding calling her baby, etc. Oh my God. Yeah, no, that's just like, dude, you know what this is? You know what this is? So on X, they launched in 18, in 18 plus messaging thing where you can talk with like an AI bot and they'll send you like spicy messages back and forth. That's what this is. I can't imagine a single thing worse for your mental health than spicy texting a robot designed to give you exactly what you want. I went numb and I could not cry at first. He was supposed to be that guy. We were good friends for years before we started dating. He warned me against those guys who told me to stay away. That any dude who still talks to his ex or other women is just keeping his options open and it's disgusting. He was not supposed to be that guy. This is what caused me to break down in front of my sister. I did not tell her what happened in April. I only told her about the bot he was messaging on X. I'm really good at disassociating to that is kind of what I've been doing. Totally avoiding confrontation with Kenneth. So weird flex. The sister only knows about the Latino AI bot. Yeah, and not that. But even that alone is like, yeah, sisters are reacting appropriately and you should just break up with him. He wants to date the computer. He wants to date the computer. He'll date the computer. Let him as soon as they make like clone or whatever, like a robot girlfriend technology, which that's on the way. It's here for 500 bucks. You know, I think 5000 as soon as they have that and he can do it. It's over. You're gone. We finally talked about everything the other day and he completely is devastated. I tried talking to my sister about whether she felt any differently and she said, no, she does not want to talk to him or acknowledge him. And he is still not invited to the wedding. He's upset and does not think it's fair, but he also gets it. He thinks she should change her mind if I fought harder for him and advocated for our relationship. WTF am I supposed to advocate for right now? That is basically what I told him in nicer words. Kevin was supposed to be the nice guy. I chose a nice guy over money, overlooks over everything. I chose a guy that I thought would be a good partner and a good father one day. As stupid as it sounds, he was messaging a bot and that is what did us in. It is hard to believe something so stupid would destroy our relationship. It brings up images of messages I saw in April and it is triggering. I know I'm not responsible for his actions, but when he cried and told me he was nothing without me, he cannot do it without me. I believed him because I feel the same way, but it felt really unreal. I had my car packed and I waited for him to get home from work. When he did, I told him I was leaving. We talked for like two days and I ended up staying more for him than me. But now a month later, I am just sad and confused. I love him and do not want to see him so hurt, but he caused this. Should my boyfriend try to talk to my sister or is this relationship just doomed now? We have an update. Girlie, girlie pop, girlie, girlie pop. So this is what happened. April, he was messaging other girls on Instagram. September, he was messaging sexy Latina AI bot. Presumably because none of the women on Instagram wanted anything to do with him because I can't imagine, you know, maybe that was the reason OP was able to disassociate and stay because she's like, well, there was no cheating that happened because all of the women were like, you gross. Yeah. So he kind of failed at doing it, but it's not that he it's just about the fact he tried to do it at all. Yeah. It's just about the fact that he's getting some sort of emotional or some kind of gratification from a freaking AI bot. From coding. Update. We had a long talk. I studied the threads all week. So I came prepared. He's still guilting me about the wedding. I told him I did not want him to be there. He said that if that's the case, I should just go home. I said, okay, I will. Then he proceeded to excuse his actions again and again. I promise I will not do it again. I will be better for you. I knew it was a bot. I was just messing around to see what it would do. It meant nothing. What do you even want? Is anything I do good enough for you? I am embarrassed and disappointed in myself. I do not want to exist. I have no one anyway. If she doesn't want me to be a part of the family or go to the wedding, then fine. She never liked me and was probably hoping for an opportunity to get rid of me. Does the last three years mean anything to you? You know I love you. It's because Eve knows and does not want me at the wedding. And that's why you were feeling like this. Oh my God. It is that manipulative bag and fourth tone, hateful, then reverseful, trying to gauge if he will get comfort and reassurance from me, depending on how he phrases it. I held my ground. I kept imaging if this was my sister Eve or if my other sister, Jace, 34 female or my best friend, Gigi, 30 male, Jason Gigi knew what had happened since April. Both encouraged me to leave, but both were hesitantly supportive when I decided to give him another chance. I thought of my future. I told him he was coming off as really manipulative. That kind of switched something inside of him. He said he just wants to fight for me. I told him fighting for me and respecting my boundaries are different things. You had six months to fight for me and you did nothing but message a bot. But six months is nothing. This has been the hardest time in my life. I'm going home on Thursday alone. I do not think I will be able to pack all my stuff in the car like I did last time I try to leave. His schedule is different this week. So he will be home on Thursday. He knows my weaknesses. He will likely say or do something that triggers me to stay with him, either calling me soulless or accusing me of never loving him or he accused me of wanting to sleep with other guys. I do not want to chance it. I am not sure what he would do if he saw me packing all my stuff again. So I'm just packing essentials. He knows I'm going home for a few days and that if he did not respect my boundaries this time around, he would speak volumes. He accepted it and told me I should go home. I probably have to involve someone in my family to help me get my stuff. Maybe Eve, maybe my dad. Definitely your dad. Maybe both. I know Eve would be pumped to help me with that. The other issue was all the heavy stuff in my house. Right, his mom's house too. Yes, he was 30 when we first dated and lived at my home with his mom. Yes, big I know. The reason why I have not just left is because I have no idea how he would react. My piano means so much to me. I'm also an amateur nature photographer and he has all of my photos on a hard drive at his mom's house. I do not want him to destroy my stuff or threaten me with it. So yeah, I have to get my stuff from his apartment and his mom's house. My sister, Jace's husband suggested I hire movers to get my stuff from his mom's house. I do not want to see or talk to his family. I know that it's clearly you're leaving a very hard situation, but like you can't just like leave all that stuff and be like, I hope for the best because it's not going to happen. So you got to go. I don't care if you don't want to see his family. You're going to see him one more time when you grab your stuff and leave. Yeah, yeah, one more time. Can you do? Can you give me one more? Can you just give me one more time please? And that's the end of this story. We're going to go on to the next one. My girlfriend wants to move out after we bought the house. Let her move out. My partner, female 35, and I, male 35, have known each other for 16 years and have been together for almost nine. She lived in a capital city and moved up states soon after our relationship started. Within three months, we rented our first apartment. By the way, this comes from user Vesu7. And if you want to submit your own stories, go to the r slash okay story time subreddit. I'm Dakota. I'm Carly. And we're here to give good advice goofily because we don't have all the answers. We only ought to be freaking goofballs most of the time, dude. But so if you know stuff that we don't know, let us know in the comments. Over the years, we've had our ups and downs. I used to be a very bad partner in regards to household chores and years of excessive bank bank withdrawals made me a lazy bedmate. Despite this, I've always been extremely loving and caring. She called herself a love sponge and I was all too happy to give her more and more love. She almost broke up with me twice both times because of how awful I was when it came to chores and the shock of the second time was what made me straighten up and develop a habit of always checking for stuff that needs doing and doing them before watching TV or playing video games. I'd tried doing that a few times before, but the improvements were always temporary. And I lapsed as soon as I felt she was okay again. Spicy sleep was still an issue though. Last November, she befriended a guy and when she told me about him, I could sort of see a sparkle in her eyes. And that worried me a bit. Some weeks later, this said guy asked her if our relationship was open. It wasn't, but we had an agreement that if someone that peaked our interest showed up at some point, we'd talk about it to decide on how to proceed. That's what she did. And I took it, kinda badly. Not terribly, but insecurity did settle in. I asked her to be careful and voiced at something about him felt suspicious, so I was mostly against her pursuing it. They still talked for a while, but she started noticing that he'd only message her when he had another female friend interested in having Zespasa sleep. Finally, understanding that he was only interested in her for a manange d'art and she blocked him. I understood that she wanted to feel desired, though, but I was too used to watching KORNA and relieving myself to actually see her for the beautiful attractive woman she was. And she missed that badly. Still, I didn't make a single effort to change that. Cut to July. Another male friend, a really decent guy, told her he was into her and asked if I'd be okay with them going out. I didn't take it all that well, but better than the first time. I felt threatened, especially given how similar to me he looked. Anyway, I think that was the push I needed to start really seeing her as the woman she is. That was the push? That was the push? That's where we're like, drawn the line? Yeah, the push was a better version of you being like, can I date your girlfriend? The push was just you showing up to your own house being like, hey dude, I'm a date or no. Being more open about my sparse proclivity and the things that get me going. Our spicy sleep life changed completely, becoming frequent. Intensely passionate. So another problem completely fixed, right? Yeah, but she still wanted to, in her own words, experience these other connoctions. And I did what I could to respect that. She said it had nothing to do with me and that she was perfectly satisfied with me as a partner and that other people were just other people. It was all true, but I was so unbearably insecure. I constantly asked for her reassurance and it took its toll on her. At some point I could see she was exhausted and I was suffering too much to endure it any longer. On the same day I told her I couldn't take it anymore, she said they had ended their fling. Three dates. It really wasn't anything to worry about, but I made a mountain out of a molehill and that only hurt us for no reason. What? Did she tell you that? Did she say, oh you just made a mountain out of a molehill or are you claiming that this is, huh? Buddy, do you like, stop letting everything else in your life think for you. You have to think for yourself. You're like, oh my god, yeah, me being insecure about her wanting to boink other people. Yeah, that really weighed on her. No, it weighed on you. Last night, after she got back from her theater group, she told me we had to break up. Her reasons didn't make sense at first, not even for her, but after lots of talking she finally managed to explain it. As her teens, she had always been living relationship to relationship and she never lived adulthood by herself. Seeing that decent dude living happily by himself made her covet that experience for her. She started wondering about how she doesn't really know who she is, doesn't know what she wants, doesn't know where I end and where she starts and so on. Essentially, we become so codependent she's having an identity crisis. She doesn't even know what her dreams are. We bought a house last year, adopted two more dogs, that's a total of three dogs and three cats, made many renovations, traveled and planned a lot of stuff. The fact that we did all that without her really knowing why leaves me so confused. She says she loves me and loves the house and loves our pets and yet she hurts. There had been so many times this year in which I thought she looked lost but I had no idea how badly. We talked all day today and she said a lot of stuff that suggests she doesn't actually want to break up. She's still planning on going on dates and concerts with me and watching stuff together and taking care of our house and bathing our pets and so on, but she does need space and wants to live alone for a while. We're going to move some furniture around the house during the weekend so we can start sleeping in separate bedrooms, an old suggestion made by a couple we're friends with who have been living this way for years and we'll both try to spend more time by ourselves when we're at home and going out with our friends while the other person is doing something else or someone else. She wants us to disentangle financially over the next few months so she can rent a place where she can live alone for a while, hopefully with both of us growing along the process. I believe that'll be very beneficial for both of us. She says I'm a perfect partner that she loves me and wants to grow old with me. Stop it! Dude at this point just take a break, break up. If you guys are meant to be together you'll come back together. At this point just cut it off. Be your own person for a bit. Literally she says there's no one else she wants to be with. She said I can hope for the best. We hug and we kiss and we keep grabbing each other and calling each other cute names. With all of that it's hard for me not to feel almost as if we're not breaking up at all. But there's this terrifying feeling that things could still end if when she finally gets to know herself and figure out what she wants from life I'm not a part of that. She's been struggling with depression and anxiety since she was 14. Theater! And lately she'd been waking up in these really deep valleys of depression, wanting to stay in bed crying all day, feeling nothing but emptiness. She started taking a new medication, one that apparently starts having its full effect after one week of treatment. Today marks the third week since she began taking that anti-depressant and I wonder if the clouded reasoning or judgment part of the side effects list has something to do with her seemingly abrupt decision. Even without the medicine though, it still feels as if one of us asking to break up was inevitable. We've been too wary of each other this whole year. If either of us looked sad or upset the other would ask if they said or did something and so on. It became so dependent on how the other one was feeling that our relationship became restless. I'm over this dude and I need him to just like get out of this relationship or else I'm like over it. Honestly, like your girlfriend has given you every reason to know that she really doesn't want a relationship. She has said like my whole life I've just jumped to relationship. I do not know what I want or what I'm doing or anything but then drags you back in and has a house with you. You really want to have a house and three dogs with someone who's like and every day I just kind of wonder if I actually like you. Yeah, the flip-flop, you can't do the flip-flop. You're in charge of three dogs and three cats. And three cats. And a house. Honestly, dude, just give her exactly what she wants. Give her exactly what she says you want. She said, okay, you want independence. You want to figure out your own life. We're breaking up. I'll keep the house since clearly this is not a part of your life and you don't think any of this is you. So you go figure yourself out and then if you figure out that you want to be within this, I guess you can come back or we'll see. Because I won't know if I even want that anymore. You know? There would have to be like a lot of healing on my own part I feel like first and then the question of am I even cool if you come back? We've got a little bit left here. I want us to find our mutual peace again. I want us to be happy. There's no one else I'd rather be within the whole world. Do you have any suggestions? What would you do in my place? We already know, dude. We know what we would do. We'd get out of there. We would break up. Get out of there. We would break up. Absolutely. Corn can be fun, but too much of it can be poisonous. I still watch it. I just don't drain my libido in it anymore. Talking about it openly with my partner also helped. Wonders. I think you have a point. I leave immediately because we spent all of our savings with the house and the renovations so we'll sleep in separate bedrooms and do our best to give each other space until she's financially comfortable to move out. I don't want her to feel pressured at all. I was briefly involved with another person, but decided it wasn't for me. During our talks she wondered if these experiences with other people weren't her trying to deal with these identity issues. She'll be the one moving out because I'll stay with all of our pets as I think taking care of any of them will make it harder for her to focus on herself. I didn't make it clear on my post, but I've progressed a lot over the years to the point that I have a much easier time keeping the house tidy than she does. I think her moving out and living alone for a while will put a ton of things into perspective and she said she wants me to be her boyfriend in the meanwhile. It's cute. It's cute? You know, I'm not even, I'm just gonna keep going. Most of all, I want her to be able to live and enjoy being around her friends and doing her stuff without worrying about my mood. We're wondering if she should be spending time with me instead, as I believe this codependency is the root cause of the problems in our relationship. And that is the end of that story. She doesn't sound codependent. She sounds very independent. You sound a little codependent. And that's the end of this story. We're gonna go on to the next one. Hey, it's Angie, your favorite fake redhead host here. And we're going to give back to the stories, but here's a three minute ad break from our sponsors. My boyfriend keeps bringing up his ex and I'm losing my mind over it. The long story. I, 23, female, met my boyfriend, 24, male, in the beginning of 2025. In fact, we quite literally met on New Year's Eve and quickly began talking. At the time, I was in an extremely awful relationship. By the way, this comes from otherwiseproduced621. And if you want to submit your own stories, go to the r slash okay story time subreddit. I'm Carly. I'm Dakota. And I'm Vincent. And we're here to give good advice scoophily, but we don't have all the answers. We only know what we would do. So let us know what you would do in the comments. I know he says meeting my current boyfriend on New Year's Eve was one of the wake up calls I needed to finally change my locks and take all of my ex's stuff out of the apartment. My ex and I had been on and off since October, trying to work through his infidelity. But ultimately, I held an unhealthy and unbecoming grudge and I could not get over it. And the relationship was ended. Now, when I met my current boyfriend, he had told me that he had just gotten out of a three year relationship in November and he was figuring himself out and didn't want anything serious or committed. He was blindsidedly dumped, but he claims that he knew it wasn't working for a few months before the split. We took our time getting to know each other and spent time together first platonically before we moved into anything romantic. I understand that it takes a long time to process a relationship and since we weren't dating, I didn't really mind as much when he talked about his ex because I did the same thing. However, the way we talked about our ex's could not have been more different. My last relationship was abundantly more awful than his, so I understand why him and his ex were able to part on good terms. There was no violence, no harmful act, no breaking in, just two people realizing that they tried to make it work and it just didn't. What confused me was all of the mixed messages he was conveying, saying things like he never wanted to be back with her again, though he's completely over the relationship, just not over processing it. But then other times, he had even told me that he was still in love with her or still in love with who she used to be. He told me how much he liked me, but then would encourage me to see and sleep with other people. When I actually did see other people after being very fed up and confused about what he wanted and started to focus on more of what I wanted, he was really hurt, even cried, and told me to make up my mind between him and the other person. He told me he felt betrayed and used. I assured him that I had no intentions of using him and I was very confused about where our relationship stood because he would get very uncomfortable whenever I tried to talk about it. Grab yourself a shovel and dig about six feet down and that's where the relationship should be standing, okay? After seeing each other for about five months, I told him that I was beginning to catch feelings and I think it'd be more appropriate if we saw other people because as far as I was concerned, we wanted different things and I want to protect my peace as well as his. The boiling point for me was in early May, month five of the situation. That is the most cursed sentence, five months of situation. That's no, that's not that. No, no. When I saw that he was openly texting his ex right in front of me and I had also recently found out that he had lied about hooking up with a different girl back in January. He only told me because he felt guilty about a medical issue I had afterwards. He told me that me telling him how I felt about his behavior and his attitude towards whatever we had, was a call to Jesus moment for him and that no one deserves to be treated that way and that he was very sorry for not respecting me as my own person. Jesus came down and told me that I cannot treat you this way. Jesus came down and gave me my directions. I am sorry. We decided to start over and after a few months of things going well, we became an official couple. These days, he gets angry, very angry when I bring up anything that happened before the end of June or when we officially started dating. I'm still working on trust as I have wounds from my last relationship and my current boyfriend and I did not get off to the smoothest of starts with him. Not being willing to talk about anything regarding the situation, we were in for about five months before our reset or his call to Jesus moment. If I asked what his intentions were or what he was thinking, he would tell me I was stressing him out and then he would not talk to me for the rest of the day, sometimes multiple days. I've told him before how much that had hurt me and how I think any relationship, romantic, friendship, familial, platonic, whatever, still requires a certain amount of communication and that I don't think he was respecting me as an individual with my own thoughts and feelings. He said he totally agrees and that he was in such a bad mental state and was more concerned with himself and didn't realize how much he was hurting me. He has told me time and time again that he was being stupid back then. If he could go back in time and just redo everything since we met and tell himself that he was being an effing idiot that he would. But we can't change the past and luckily I'm here for our future. Man, I don't care about what you could have done. I care about what we are going to do to fix it moving forward. It is reassuring for him to acknowledge that his actions hurt me. However, I still feel a lot of unease moving forward with him. A lot of my friends tell me when I bring this up to them, why would you want to be with someone who you can't even trust? I think they raise a fair point and I've been thinking a lot about it these past few weeks. I'm just like, he's cute, ain't hot, I like him in his body, but I like the way he looks when he walks around. A lot of our fights revolve around me being insecure and not fully being able to trust him yet. I have told him before that trust to me is freely given until broken and when it is broken it must be earned back again through consistency. To my knowledge, we both care for each other, but I feel like he misunderstands. I don't want any grand gestures, I don't need phone calls, text messages, all that cute stuff every day. I'm not really a big fan of saying I love you all the time, because I feel like the more you say it, the more it loses its value. All I really want is to feel like when he's looking at me, he's looking at me. I want him to listen when I speak and to say things like, I understand and I'm willing to listen and compromise. We had what I would consider a healthy dialogue about our boundaries and what we would both like to see from each other moving forward. He said he wants me to stop bringing up the past and I told him I needed him to be more communicative and forthcoming about his feelings. I told him I recognize that I'm being very insecure and I need to stop comparing myself to his ex and he agreed. However, it doesn't make it the easiest thing when he's constantly bringing her up. Yeah, just freaking acknowledge that you are not ready for another relationship and freaking don't be in one. Hello? Hello? Knock knock. It's the stupid police. I care for him deeply and I want to see him succeed and thrive in life and I want the same for myself and those around me. I don't want him to feel like he has to hide his past, but lately there are things that he does or says that genuinely stress me out. And I'm not sure if it's because I'm horribly insecure or if these are things I should bring up to maintain healthy communication with him. Again, my last relationship was horrendous and I've never really experienced a healthy relationship before. So I'm not sure how to go about some things and what's considered to be healthy behavior or not. I don't want him to feel like I am superfluously punishing him for his behavior before we started dating or unnecessarily bringing up the past. But it's very important that he understands that it did impact me and my current ability to trust him. Please, if any of y'all are in a healthy relationship or if you have had a similar experience, can you tell me if it's normal to mention your ex? Slash, have your partner mention their ex so casually? I don't want to burden him anymore with my insecurities, but it brings me down when he tells me things like he wishes he could run into her while she's walking the dog they had so he could see the dog. I wish he wouldn't bring up wanting to run into her, especially because we just recently had an argument about it. About two weeks ago, he went to a class reunion that I know he was sure she would attend. He called me after saying, Guess who I ran into? That is, this man is insane. It unhinged insane lunatic. This is insane. This is crazy. This is not normal talking about your ex, like this. Guess who I ran into? Guess who I ran into? The woman you're like the most insecure about on the planet. She was just as great as ever, probably better than you. Like I didn't predict it to him and my roommates before he even went. He even told me he initiated conversation with her. While I'm grateful he told me all of this, I do feel unease about it because of the frequency in which he mentions her. I never want to be the type of partner that tells him he can't go places or do things, but I want to be able to believe that he won't abuse my trust. Girl, I need you to run for the hills. Yeah man, this is, I don't know who said it, but it's like, this is way too much for a situation ship. Well, they're in a relationship now. But like, but still, it doesn't even sound like it. It's like, He's still on. You're in a relationship. Yeah. And he's like, It's normal to talk about an X in that like, yeah, it's like, I mean, I wouldn't like if someone's talking about them, perpetually and constantly about how they're the coolest and the best or whatever. That's weird. But even talking about them like this where it's like, Yeah, I'm still in love with her. I'm blah, blah, blah. Regarding the dog nostalgia, he said I was making it weird and he just wants to see the dog, not his X. But then why not just say that? Do you have to mention your X as well? I am in desperate need of an outside opinion because as much as I love my friends, they're not my therapists, nor are any of them in a healthy relationship right now. I need to know if this is a normal thing in healthy relationships, or if this is something worth addressing. You should address it and like probably stop. Yeah, I think that's like a massive red flag. Unhealthily obsessed with his X. And that's the end of this story. This is an I Heart podcast.