Holmes Returns

This is a headgum podcast. Holmes and I were at a coffee shop and you were being pretty erratic in like a fun way. And I am happier here. For sure. And you were being really like extra erratic. And I was like, I was like, Hey, did you take your meds today? And Holmes goes, I don't do that anymore. Holmes, what's going on with you? Um, you know, I'm really happy to be here. It's been like a couple of years since I saw you last, I guess. Yeah, I've been avoiding you. Found you, bitch. I've been, how did you, how did you, how did you find me? I mean, zoom in on the back of photos. You'll see me. Oh, you're back there. You'll see me looking at you. You're back there peering. I actually did have coffee with someone yesterday and I was like, I went to college at Florida State and he was like, me too. And I was like, and it almost seemed like he knew already. And I was like, did you know me before we met up for this? You know, kind of freaked me out. Did he? He said no, but I couldn't. I didn't believe it. He said no, but like I would bring up a memory. He'd be like, I know, and I'd be like, wait, what? Two, were you there? He's like, he's like that top you used to wear sophomore year. You're like, what? He's like, I love fucking you. I'm like, huh? I'm like, I know I drank back then, but I think I remember who it was. You did drink back then. I did. I wish I would have known you even then. I didn't know you then. Well, you know what? Actually, before the last episode we had, I had one drink, which now I didn't. I had a ton of coffee. So me looking at your camera, I can't see me at all. You had a drink before the last episode. So like not, I'm like, I'm like, I was terrified. It's a crazy reveal. That was nuts. You passed out of so casual. You're like before the last time you've never told me that. Well, because I didn't do it for the episode. I was out with friends and they were having like five drinks and I sat and didn't have one for a long time. And then finally I was like, I'll have one. And then, you know, I watched the episode, you know, I say the HPV thing. Everyone's mad at me about the washout. And I was like, well, the drink probably did that. I don't think the drink did that. You're right. That was just me. It's so funny for you to be like, yeah, before I did this last time, well, of course, I had a couple shots. I'm like the last episode I had a vodka tamp on in. I don't know. No, I wouldn't do that. No, I'm happy with your drinking these days. Thank you. I'm happy with yours. Thank you. We both don't. We don't. Well, I don't want to lie to the public. Since February, I've had four drinks, but it's all been one that night. Yeah. One. One at a time. Person who definitely doesn't have a drinking problem. Since February, I've had four and they've been. Since February, I've had four and I was on my best behavior. I really was. Well, it's one of those things where like, God, sometimes I'm in a room that is so fucking like loud and overwhelming. And it's like on those nights will be the ones where I'm like, oh, I really want to stay, but it would just help a little bit. And I try everything else, but then occasionally, yeah, I've had one. And then it'll be like, normally I'm like, this doesn't really do much. And that's why I continue to not do it, you know, like it doesn't really change very much. But I don't know. I think sometimes you know this about me. I'll go look all or nothing a lot. Like I'll be like, I must be done and that will solve it all. And so I think I'm letting myself be like, hey, no one called you an alcoholic. You called yourself one because you wanted to solve some stuff. And then you stopped drinking and like made a whole thing. I went to an AA meeting and I was like, I don't have this. It was a really funny couple of weeks in our friendship for everybody. When home started, home started sitting people down and being like, obviously we've all been dying to talk about a drinking problem. All the time we're kind of like, no, we thought you were having a good time, but. Well, I mean, I think that it's really, it would be so amazing to find like the one thing that was like, you know, fix everything. God. And I thought that, I mean, and it has, you know, it has helped. I do think it has helped my depression, not drinking less has helped my depression. But yeah, I wasn't a full blown alcoholic. It was funny. What I'll say about the meetings, which I know you're not supposed to talk about, but it's a horny environment, you know, because the alcohol is not in there. People were staring me down. You know what I mean? And it was like, I was like, oh, they're like, you know, people are wanting to get to something else pretty quick addiction wise. What? Do you know what I mean? No. I mean, what do you say? People were staring you down. Like it felt like if I lingered, I lingered eye contact with someone long enough, we could fuck right after because it was like, Hey, you know what we won't be doing after this? Go to the bar, but we could go home. Yeah. Come to my place. You know, that's interesting. I've heard this, I guess, but I didn't. Well, staring me down feels so intense. Well, staring me down, I mean, it was one or two. It looks like I walk in, everyone's like, everyone's like, I would do you tonight. No, it wasn't like that. It just like, it made, it made sense to me that I was like, yeah, you would shift in that's something else. I felt was I was like, okay, when, right when I stopped drinking, actually someone did say something interesting to me after because I was like, I don't know if I have this. And he was like, yeah, but you smoke weed a lot, right? And I was like, Hey, don't be rude about that. I was like, I do. And he was like, well, when I stopped drinking at first, well, I would smoke weed instead. But then right when I quit weed, like I have to drink again. So it's one of those things where like, and that did kind of call me out in a sense of like, I do smoke weed most nights. And I'm like, if I did quit weed, I wonder if I would start to drink more. Like I definitely am someone who like has a vice. I just think I'm pretty healthy with them now, but you know, it'd be cool if someday I could lose them all. Yeah. What's yours? What's your vice? My vice? Yeah. I do smoke weed and food. Food is the most conscious choice that I make where I'm like, I'm trying to get better at this, but I, because I'll do it in times that are inopportune, like all, to me, I'm like, I don't drink. I haven't drank at this point in years. I don't really drink. I don't do any hard drugs. I didn't smoke weed until I was like 27. I don't smoke cigarettes. I don't really do like crazy. Different 27 club, right? Hey, come on. It's okay. That was beautiful. I was starting to weed at 27. Choose to live actually. Sorry. I'm starting to live after 27. But yeah, so I'm like, I'll eat, I'll eat garbage and be like, you shouldn't be eating this garbage, but it is fun. But then sometimes you do it and it's like, it's 2 AM, why are you ordering Taco Bell? You know, you're going to feel like shit when you have to get up at 8 AM. The other night I had one big time where I was like, I really could have gone to bed and I ordered food just because I was like, it just is like a comfort. That's the thing. It's like the same as weed. It's like, I want something that's cozy and it's like, I feel better than when I drink. That's for sure. But yeah, I had like ordered from, I mean, when the place is called something like Munchie Funchie or something, you know what I mean? Those Door Dash names get dark quick. Yeah, right, right. What is it? It's like, bitch, don't grill my cheese. I'm on there high. It's like, I eat alone on my couch. Like, I'm gonna. It's like, you ready to fuck up your life? I'm like, order. Order. It really is always really nasty names for real. Yeah, it's like, a slutty wings and fucked up tots. Literally, it's like, feel shitty. I'm like, ooh. I'm like, add to cart, add to cart. I know. And I do and then I eat it. Well, the other night, one of the items looked so nasty that I was like, that's helpful. So I didn't do all of it. But yeah, I had some like, you know, corn bites or something. And you can tell when the late night ones, they're not making it. The chef doesn't have passion to it. They're putting that shit in the microwave. The chef, it's a guy microwaving it in his house, by the way. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's a ghost kitchen. It's like art. It's like a comedian we're friends with. It's like a side hustle for real. I know that I'm never gonna like truly lose a bunch of weight because most people who do, they have like a lowest of low moment and I've had one so many times. And just blown right past it. I got tricked. I got tricked once. I got tricked once on DoorDash into ordering red lobster. And when it came, it came nothing like red lobster. Why would you even order that? I was just high. I was enjoying the idea of it. It was just, I then I looked it up some guy at his house. It was like a ghost kitchen on Yelp. No, no, no. It was a guy who just like eat. Somehow they can make it look like red lobster sometimes. God, it was a lobster. It was a lobster, but it was called like funky chunky or something. No dude, it was called red lobster. I'm telling you, they do this with Cracker Barrel too. It would be like Cracker Barrel kitchen, which is not for me, but other people. You're one of my thin friends. It's like the most annoyingly supportive of fat people, actually. I'm like one of the thin friends who's like, the anti-fat bias. Like, yeah. I'm just having like a regular Tuesday and you're like, the way we treat fat people is sick. And I'm like, wait, it's lunch. You know what I mean? I really mean it. I mean, it just, well, honestly, it's what I grew up with. My mom was fat. It was like a thing that it's like, I remember so much like it being this thing that made her feel bad, not because she, my mom was like stunning. And I was always like, why is my mom so beautiful and hating herself? And I was like, oh, cause people are like being horrible to her. And so then it made me like, I remember one time we were playing this game growing up and it was like, imagine if, and we were with her, our extended family. And someone, there was a joke about like blimp or something, like a blimp in everyone. Like you have to say like, who's the most like this or whatever and everyone writes a name at that table. And it was like, who's the most like a blimp and everyone put my mom's name. And it was like, they all kind of laughed, right? Okay, whatever. They all kind of laughed. You know, well I, I was like 11 and I started sobbing. And I was like, you guys are cruel. And my mom was like, it's okay Chelsea, it's okay. And like, it was one of those things where I was like, I did it really passionate about it. It pissed me off. You're like, you're like, I would have voted Kathy for blimp. No, I wouldn't have put Kathy as blimp, but I'm telling you right now. Oh, no. If I was in the game and everyone wrote blimp for Caleb, I would laugh. No, we wouldn't. I would laugh. Well, first off, it's like, who the fuck wrote blimp? The writers of this are like, fat bitch is going down. You know what I mean? It's like, ruin some woman's Thanksgiving. Literally, what the hell? No, but I just remember it always, it made me mad. Cause my mom was like, honestly, like kind of the most stunning in the family. So it just like did it. Yeah, it made me really, and it also ruined a chunk of my life. It ruined like three really good years of my life that I had eating disorder that was, I was so boring and disgusting during those years. And yeah, I just think it's like taking some of our best. It also like, I mean, whatever. Look, you can be started. You're like, she's a thin friend who's annoying about it. I'm like, don't get me started. You're like, watch me prove it. I mean, it just is like, I think that the main thing that we're mad at is all the same, which is like fucking billionaires and stuff. And it's like a lot of this, the shame that is around, weight stuff for me is really just tied to money. Like once I learned that, that was this big freedom of like, when I learned like weight watchers didn't start their kid program until they were going bankrupt. That was like a big freedom for me. Cause growing up, like, yeah, I was being put on diets left and right and stuff like that. Also, you said, I think we're all actually mad at billionaires. I wish that were true. I actually wish we could get more people mad at billionaires. I will never in a million years understand why so many people who should be mad at billionaires, the way that some of us righteously are, are still doing this fucking like, they're like going off about these stupid, like they're like, oh, I don't want, you should have to have the right papers to run a taco stand in my city. And you shouldn't, they shouldn't have male cheerleaders at the football games. I'm like, you're so fucking far off track, dude. It's crazy. I agree. No, I think that that is the thing that like, makes me the most mad is that I'm like, I know more people actually don't want to just like, people don't want to just like have sex or be friends with like really frail people. I know that that's not reality, but when I was tied to money, that's why most people I know are even engaging in it. Like the people I know who are engaging in weight loss, who like don't want to engage in weight loss are doing it only because they're like, I this will help me make more money. And I'm like, what a nightmare. Yeah. And it's true. And it's true. Yeah. And it's true. Have you ever do a crazy diet that was like so stupid? No, I'm tired of never. I'm like really, I know that I'm not cut out for trying to lose weight because I've never done like a crazy diet. I've done like, I've done yo-yo diets, but nothing insane. I'm so fucking jealous of that. Honestly. I can't even get to the point where like, like I'm not even kidding. There was a time like two years ago when I, I know that I would get more work if I was thinner. Like that's just a reality. And there was a time like two years ago when I really considered it. And like the second time I was supposed to go to the gym and have a really hard workout, I was like, I got distracted thinking about how I was going to talk about it when I lost all the weight. And then I didn't go to the gym. Like I was like, I was like, when I lose the weight, I'm going to like really, this is how I'm going to talk about it. And next thing I woke up and I had missed the gym. So it's like, this, the extreme weight loss thing is like, not for me. It's never coming for me. Wait, did you, did you, were you kind of like sad when you thought about talking about it? Like you were like, my fans are going to be like, kind of like sad that I did this. No, I just think that when people lose a bunch of weight who were fat, they often change on a dime and go to this very like, a lot of people have like a fascistic cop within them that will come out whenever the time is right. And a lot of people who lose a bunch of weight, access that part quickly where they're like, I was fucking miserable. It's disgusting what I was promoting. And it's like, I know, I'll never go back. And it's like, no, actually, I think you were quite happy. And then you made a choice to lose a bunch of weight. And that's, so for me, I'm like, when I say how I would talk about it is, I just don't think I would talk about it. And the reason I go is like, okay, but you were wanted to talk about your body when you were fat. And if you were thin, you wouldn't want to talk about it. Why is that? And I'm like, oh, I actually know why. The reason is because it's interesting to talk about being fat in a society that hates fat people. So I find it compelling to talk about my weight and my body right now. If I were for some reason to lose a bunch of weight, if a medical reason came up that I needed to, or if anything like that were to happen, which I don't currently have. Or you naturally lose some weight and then everyone's like, good job. And it's like, shut the fuck up. If that were to happen, I would just not talk about it or engage with discussion about it because I don't view it as an accomplishment. And then it wouldn't be interesting because then you're talking about a body that is closer to or in alignment with the beauty standard. And so then it's like, why would I talk about that? Do you know what I mean? It's not interesting now. Yeah, I mean, I really understand. I mean, I feel like the reason that I would ever talk about like any type of womanhood on stage is oftentimes related to like oppression. Like I wouldn't come up as much. I feel like if it wasn't like scary to live as a woman more. Yeah, I think what happens is so many people do so many people that are fat and then lose a bunch of weight, especially in the public eye, they do have things that they should have fixed about themselves that weren't weight related. And then when they lose the weight, they feel all this gratitude and validation. And so they want to honor it. And they want to be like, thank you for the validation. Thank you, thank you, thank you. And it's like, actually what you should do with that validation is laugh at it because you don't deserve it. It's silly. It's silly to get validation for losing weight. I'm sorry it is. Oh, I mean. It's like, whatever, that doesn't matter. To me, it actually matters in a way that's like, it's really upsetting. And what I'll say is like, I've lost weight for reasons that are like, look, when I stopped drinking as much, I like lost some weight. And I wasn't trying to. And then like, it makes, I think it's the darkest part. It makes me, I think it should make you feel anything. It should be like devastating. And I don't like those people anymore. Like when someone compliments me on a weight loss and I'd never have said anywhere publicly that I'm like, that's a goal of mine or something. I like you less immediately. See, and that's the difference too, is like, I feel like when that happened for you, I remember us talking about, we were kind of having two conversations at once where you were like, people that aren't close to me are complimenting my weight loss and it's making me ill. It's making me really depressed. And then I was like, yes, also I would love to check in on your weight loss. Yes! Because I know you and know that you're not trying and do have a passive eating disorders, et cetera. And so it's different when, if I were to lose a bunch of weight, I would expect the people close to me to be like, hey, no worries, but is there anything we need to talk about? That's exactly what I mean. Do you know what I mean? 100%. And I think a lot of people don't feel comfortable asking, are you okay? Because they think that that could be like a triggering or something and what I would say, and I'm sure people will disagree, but I say if a friend is losing weight and you notice, when you are one on one, have a check in in that way, I would say. I've had a check in with friends and they're like, no one has brought this up at all yet. And then they'll be like, I am not okay at all. Like I'm not eating. And oftentimes it doesn't have to do with trying to lose weight. It'll have to do with like a death or a breakup or something like that. Yeah. My favorite thing that you do, one of my favorite things that you do, there's a long list. Sometimes if there's something in a group of friends that desperately needs to be said, completely wrong place, wrong time, wrong place, wrong time, homes, homes just in the group will go like, you haven't eating disorder. Like dinner, six people, not the right time, not the right place. Well, you know what? And I say, that is really true. That is so true to me. Homes will be like, you're being weird everyone in the friend group lately because of your dad. I'll be like, people think you're mean, everyone's scared to say it. It'll be a hundred percent true. And everyone else in the friend group will be like, homes, God damn it. Yeah. And then they'll be like, I'll be like, later I'll be like, are you proud of me? And they'll be like, it was really the wrong place. This happened the other day, actually. I literally ran into someone I hadn't seen for a long time and I was like, my friend is dating your ex. And everyone was like, hey, like, but I was like, that's how I know. And that's how I thought of her or whatever. And anyway, she handled it really well. But my friend after was like, I feel like it should make people feel safe. Like I'm not going to lie to you. Yeah. I feel that you won't lie to me. Do you feel safe around me? I go, say you feel safe. I don't know. I don't I don't think. Yeah, I guess so. I don't like think about like you being safe. I feel safe around pretty much everybody. There's no what do you mean? Who do I feel unsafe around? We can't. Yeah, you're right. We can say names. We all look at chance at once. No, no, I'm like he does. He does. He is quite mean to me off camera. More than safe. Don't you feel like it's like more than safe? Don't you feel like you you love that about me in a real way? Like you said, it's one of your favorite things. Because you like that. Like sometimes sometimes. Sorry, I just want to say I don't love it because you make me feel safe. I love it because I think it's hilarious. And you love it because it needs to be said. And sometimes it's boring. Well, I get tired of doing it. Yeah, I'm the one who asked. Exactly. Yeah. I get tired of doing it when you're not around. So when you come around and you're like, everyone's being weird because she's being a bitch. I'm like, thank you. I know. No, we both are the people who do it. It's also like, I don't know. Like it's that thing of sometimes I'm bored of us not talking about it. When we talk about it, we get to somewhere really interesting fast normally. Yeah. And we just talk about the thing. That's true. You know? Yeah. Whatever. I did. I was laughing really hard this morning thinking about the other day where you almost and I were at a coffee shop and you were being pretty erratic in like a fun way. And I am happier here. For sure. And you were being really like extra erratic. And I was like, I was like, hey, did you take your meds today? And almost goes, I don't do that anymore. And I was like, OK, hell yeah. I don't do that anymore. I was on Zoloft for 10 years. I'm here to say I'm not on Zoloft anymore. And honestly, it's. Well, OK, here's what I'd like to say. I think I'm also prescribed Adderall, which is so crazy that like I could be this insane. And they're like, actually go on an upper because we want you to work more. It's like you want this bitch to go to work harder. Like that's crazy to me. But for the Zoloft of it all, I think that, hey, if you need to be medicated for your mental health, be medicated. I support medication. I also think this thing is going on where like our country in the world are in like pretty fucked places and like groups are getting more and more scared for their life in like really, really fair ways. And then we're going to like a therapist about it or a psychiatrist, which I love therapy, but you'll go to a psychiatrist and they'll be like, OK, you know what the solution is. Let's get you medicated so you don't have to feel sad about this. And I understand that. And if it's in a place where you're going to kill yourself, please take the medicine. But I think it does bother me a little bit that like a lot of feelings of sadness I am having are like really not chemical imbalance, are like really valid because I'm like, no, billionaires are like taking money from everyone. Like everyone I know doesn't have enough money. You know, like we're having like black and brown people taking off the streets all the time for doing nothing. And so I think that that has been bothering me lately because I've had more and more friends who've like never been medicated or starting to get medicated right now. And it just is like, yeah, I think that chemical depression is a thing. Bipolar, OCD, please take your meds if it makes your life better. I just do want it to be like, hey, let's have like a long term solution, which is like fixing these things that are making everyone really depressed. Yeah, it feels like gaslighting at a certain point when it's like there's this thing that I feel like has always been in conflict, which is like the societal push on everyone to be happy all the time. Happy as like a state of being and happy as like a description of a person. Like, are you a happy person? Right. And it's like, well, no, that's not a description of a person. I am sometimes quite happy. I am sometimes quite sad. I would love to be happy more often than I'm sad. But there's that push from society and messaging to be a capital H, capital P happy person, which doesn't exist. And that's not how people work. Right. And then at the same time, it's coinciding with really bleak, sad, dark, fucked up realities of immigrants getting rounded up in the streets and a billion, like too many things actually to keep track of. Too many things. And then it's like, they're like, hey, so don't actually ignore all of that and take this medication. So maybe you don't even feel anything at all. And it just is like, once again, I can't say enough, please take your meds if you need your meds. I just do want to validate the people who are like, I wish I wasn't spending more. I think it makes me upset too, because meds cost money. So I'm like, we're telling like broke people to pay more money to feel less sad about things that shouldn't be going on at all. Yeah. Well, yeah. And it's like, look, but this is the constant give and take, right? Of like, what we can do is get you on meds if you need them right now. Take your meds if you need them. What we can't do is wake up tomorrow and have a better country for immigrants. Right. So like we can't just, we actually can't, like if you were my therapist, you and I can't make that happen much as we would like to. Therapists are not doing well right now. No. So it's like, we have to find the solution that's going to help you work through all of it as you work. But there has to be some kind of like acknowledgement that being sad is a natural response to, yeah, I am a happy person and I'm trying to be happy at the same time that I do the work and hold the despair and like, I want to, I want to, I want to like work on the things that I think I can help make better while also being sad about them. Me too. And also having fun. I'm trying to get off balance, all of those. Yes. But it does feel crazy sometimes when people are like, Oh, well, the point is being happy. And I'm like, right, but everything is stacked against us right now. It feels like. Right. And I think that even like, I don't know, we're talking about a weight loss or a second ago. And for me, like movement was really like taken from me at a young age. I felt like like running and any type of working out, which is something that does actually give me chemicals to feel happier, but it was so associated with like losing that weight. So this guy wants to have sex with you. And I was like, I don't really like that guy. So actually no thanks. And now in the last, like, I don't know. And then, I don't know, the last like 10 years, I guess I've gotten better and better at being like, Oh, I really like like exercise because it makes me not want to kill myself. I think really the last four years too. I kind of, yeah, I think you've gotten really, really good at being like, I've, I've heard you be like, I have to move my body or I'm going to feel like shit. Like I've heard you say it out loud more. You know, I will, because I think I want people to, I think it's so associated with weight loss and it really bugs me because it's so like even like Pilates, for example, is like so associated with like white bougie girl who is like, you know, like get Gracie Abram Abbs or whatever. And it's like, or like, don't kill yourself. You know, like for me, it's like very associated with like, no, that actually was meditative to me. I couldn't look at my phone. I was in a class like with a group of people and we all like got stronger and I got some endorphins and it doesn't have to do with what my body looks like at all. In fact, my boobs lost two sizes, which has sucked. I know. I've hated looking at your boobs since then. Well, it has sucked because it's like, I used to love them because they were so big and fun. I didn't know how much I was relying on them. I didn't know how much it was like a little tool to the fact is like one of like something just like big boobs, like boobs have a hold on people in a way that people aren't addressing. Like, I know, like I've been saying this since childhood. I'm like, what is the thing with boobs? What is the thing with, I feel like even for gay guys, it does sometimes. I did Stavis podcast yesterday and he was talking about how much he loves big tits and I in the moment had to say, Stav, I've never felt further away from you. Like I was just like to hear you talk like that and I know that you're like that, but I'm like to hear you talk like that is so upsetting. I feel far from my friend. I mean, I think I'm forgiving about boob stuff more than other people because like growing up being dipping. My mom was like a huge pastime for me. Like I like loved to be in dip my mom in a way that like she like really didn't like it, but I thought it was so funny. You're like, do not call my mama blimp. He's like, are you a friend or a foe? I was like, my mom is fucking stunning. Ooh. Yeah. It was really, really bad. Well, one time I think she's fat. Look at this. I'm like, she's going to lose weight. These are going to be gone. No, my dad one time did it, I guess, because he like, when I was out of town, he did it because he was like missing me and she like called me and she was like, you've created a huge issue. She was like, Tom, just being, I wish you knew your dad, your dad, like Tom, like Holmes's dad is one of my favorite people on earth and his energy is very like, Hey guys, how's it going? Well, he has three like women, who like all have like really big feelings. I mean, we're all like very smart and cool too. But no, I remember the first time that I was around and he got to talk about football with someone and I thought he was going to cry. It was crazy. I told you one time that we found him, we lived in, but at the time my parents lived in like a high rise apartment, like an apartment building, no backyard, high up. And we went to the bathroom of my mom and I saw that he was like searching grills. No, we're for a girl. It was like one of those things where I was like, he wanted like a whole different life than we gave him. He wanted to be like playing football and like grilling with the boys. Truly. And instead of we were like, I was like really, really bad at sports. And I was like, you will be going to musicals and we will be lashing out. I went, I remember, I remember the first time I really connected with your dad was that it was all of, it was you and your sibling and Kathy. And I went over to Tom, he was like sitting off somewhere on the side. And I was like, I was like, Tom, what do you think of the chiefs this season? And he was like, uh, well, I'm feeling pretty good. You know, it was like he was going to cry. He's like, we can talk about wicked if you want. No, he's so used to. Well, my favorite, he's like, Tommy doesn't talk about sports. Tommy talks about wicked. I mean, he does love a fantasy book. That's what he's very surprising. Like it's really, really cool. He just retired. He just retired and he's finally like letting himself like think about like, larger ideas, which is really beautiful to watch. But I do, I want to give my dad credit because I talk about how much I love my mom so much. I'm obsessed with her. She's so funny where my dad, like the thing I love the most about him is he changes his mind. Like I remember when I went to college, I was like, we've only been three fights my whole life. And I remember when I went to college, we, oh, I came back to visit him and my mom for a second and I was like, oh my God, we were drinking IPAs together. That was like a big thing we had in common. And he was, I was like, everyone at college is getting sad. Like all the girls are getting all the time. It's out of control. And he was like, he got really upset because like he would never. And he was like, he was like really heated. He was like, he was like, no, he was like, the cops would catch him, you know? And I was like, they're not catching him. And we got in like this huge fight for real. And then literally, like two weeks later, he called me and he was like, honey, I'm so sorry. The cops are not catching them. And he like fully like admitted that he was wrong. He was like, I read some articles. It is a huge problem on college campuses. Like I did not know. And it's like, he's always been like that, like Republican to Democrat. He is always like, just like he had two daughters who like want to talk about like who want him to learn. And like we learn from him all the time. And he like actually learns and changes his mind. And I just think that like was the most beautiful thing I could ever learn from it. Yeah, it is beautiful. Well, shout out changing your mind. I know when's the last time you change, you know, I love to ask this. When's the last time you change your mind? I don't need to. You have all perfect views. Yeah, I don't need to. What's the last thing you learned that excited you? I'm trying to think if I have changed my mind. What have I changed my mind about? You would last time you said ice cream. It was the last time I asked you, you liked pistachio ice cream. What else is there? You would know we've we, you know, what would have I changed my mind about? You would know better than me and maybe what have I changed my mind about? I think sometimes people, which I wouldn't name any of them. I think sometimes like a person will like, we'll change our mind on people sometimes. Very rarely. I'll admit it though. I will say I'll admit when I'm wrong about somebody. Like I think like sometimes, yeah, we can get a bad impression and then. Yeah, but I'm almost always right about that is the thing. I really am. I really am. I will say, I admit I've come to you and been like, hey, that person I told you I didn't like, I was wrong about them. They turned out they turned out to be very cool. But I am almost always right about that one. I think more often than changing my mind about someone, I get proven right and that's really fun. Shut up. You do change your mind sometimes. Sometimes I'm saying every time every person I've tried to think of that I had a negative opinion of what I'm thinking of is the time I learned more that I was right. There's a hole in my sock that I know is going to come up. And my socks are like, these are clean socks, mind you, but they have just like a bunch of fucking lint on them. I really understand. I mean, my washer and dryer is a nightmare. Like why do my socks always get fuzzies on them? They get fuzzies on them. Mine will randomly all pull them out. They'll have like, I told you like my clothes will have like oil on them. I'll have like, oh, they'll have oil on them. The washer, I live in a place right now, washer and dryer. And behind the camera's chance. Hey, chance. It has a mole. Oh, God. Obviously we'll cut this. It's just like it gets to a point. God fuck chance. You chance. Yeah, not doing the bit. Fuck. Almost made a chance. Give me a kiss. Yeah, it's OK. What is that? I think I've actually maybe not very good at doing bits on podcast. Have you? What? Look, I feel like I'm like. Like I think. All you do is bits. Like I just like want to talk. Like I think I'm just like talking to you as a friend. Like I think I would be surprised about how much like our relationship is actually serious and then how we do comedy. Like like we laugh all the time. But like we also like. You know what I mean? Like we're not like doing bits all the time. Us. No, I don't get to a lot. I have to feel a lot of crises. Shut up with you. We're like, I mean, whatever. I mean, maybe I'm wrong. Do you know what I mean? When someone's like, I have a new bit. I like when people are like, I have like, I have a new bit I want to do. And I'm always like, I'm never we're not doing that in our friendship. I mean, we'll just do it. I mean, you'll trust fall on me or whatever. What? Like bits. Like, do you know what I'm talking about? No, I'm just confused about what you mean, like specifically on podcasts or like in life. Like day to day life. Like I'm like, I don't think I'm like super bitty. Like I think I'm like kind of wild and weirdo all the time. But I'm not like, this is my new bit that's going around. Yeah, I guess I do know what you mean. You don't have like, yeah, yeah, yeah, sorry. I was just really. I'm like, maybe it's like, you're like, you need to be medicated again to scratch everything we said, I'm not sure that you don't need to be medicated again. I'm keeping tabs. I'm looking into things for you. I don't need to have you ever tried medication. No, I'm strong. Kidding, kidding. I'm really strong and I don't need meds. I haven't tried meds. I consider it though. Yeah. I just the issue for me with meds is that I'm like, sure, do I think that I'm just, I'm it's hard because I'm not depressed anymore. And that was my big thing. That was like my big like suicidal depression was my big thing. And that's fucking huge. And I got over it on my own. And that's it. There's no, there's, if you get over with meds, if you get over it without them, it doesn't matter. Getting over it with meds is also getting over it on your own, just in a different way. How much do you think aside the money being less depressed? Uh, I fixed it before that. I fixed it before money, but money, I have said many times on this show, anybody who tells you that money won't fix your problems is a lie. I got some money and pretty much everything went away. I mean, it's crazy. And I, it, no, I know what they mean when they say that, but it's like, yeah, any idiot would know that. Like they're like, it won't make you not like deal with regular stuff that humans deal with. It's like, duh. But it did fix like most of my material problems, like being able to help my mom with her bills, she doesn't need help, but being able to help her with her bills. You do. Yeah. Knowing she's taken care of, knowing that I have a place like even having a house that like I don't stay at all the time that I can let people stay at for free. Like that kind of stuff gives you an amount of like security and worth as well. That like, yeah, I money fixed pretty much all my problems, but I worked on my mental health. Luckily I got to replace my mental health before that that was good. You did. And also I don't, I'm glad that I loved myself before I got attention because attention is, we really don't have to talk about it. I talk about it simply too much, but attention is a really insidious force and it's very poisonous. And I think I've watched so many smart, charming, lovely people fall, pray to fame and they become so boring and psychotic and out of touch and crazy. Yeah. That you just see how poisonous it is. And if you don't love yourself before you get it, it'll destroy you, I think. Totally. I feel like I, I mean, you know me, like I have like, I've actively hurt my career multiple times from trying to run away from attention because I get so scared of losing myself, I feel. Yeah. Do you want to put your finger in my sock? I do. Look at that. Oh, I can't actually, it's not big enough yet. You can. It's just, there's a tar right there. There's a tar right there. I got big. Look at this. Do whatever you want to do with this footage. Okay. Ew, no. Don't make it sexual while you're in there. Whatever. You're in my crevasse. In my crevasse. Don't be sexual when you're in my crevasse. Whatever. Stop. I know we're going to hook up someday. It's like not necessary to talk about. I wanted to bring it up because I was like, no, I wanted to bring up that. I think sometimes that, something that people don't always know about you is how romantic you make your friendships. And I was like, do you, I actually was curious to ask you sometimes, like, do you do that intentionally? Like, are you, like, are you aware of that you make sure your friendships have like a level of romance to them? Like, sometimes I have more romance with, romance with you than like, I will just crush. So that's actually a different problem than you think it is. It's really sweet. Like, it's like, I don't know. Like it feels like this thing of like, uh, I don't know. Do you only consider romance and romantic relationships? I mean, that's, that was down to say. Only in, uh, like sexual relationships. No, I think life is romantic. I have, I think that are romance in my friendships, but I don't, I think that what you're keying in on is just that you're kind of, um, our friendships is romantic. Our friendship is romantic. And then also you get around someone you have a crush on and behave in a way that like you, you're like, now from the movie now. Don't bring now into this. You start acting like now. No, it is actually so scary because I love the trees as well. I'm fully now, mom. Now I have so much. I have more come out of the now than Alex Cooper. I made home show me their hinge profile the other day. And what no, it wasn't horrible. One of the slides was just a video of trees with no context. And I was like, they were like frozen. They were, yeah, I was like winter trees and I was like, Hey, so this is the kind of thing that's going to not make a ton of sense to somebody who doesn't know, like I know what the trees mean to you, but I'm like, maybe we put like, at least the joke caption on it or anything at all to make the trees make sense on the profile. I need them to know that they're going to come up, you know, no, I'm totally agree. The tree, it's something to know about you is the thing with the trees, but it's a thing with the tree, but I'm like, we need to include some context. Otherwise you look a little bit like a serial killer. I would never, I would never kill. I would never, were you ever obsessed with a serial killer? Like growing up, would you like research them a ton? Oh, sure. I'm plenty of them. I think they're fascinating. Right. Cause they had to have a charisma. They'd have charisma. And also you used, we used to have so many more serial killers before the like surveillance state for DNA testing too. Yeah. And now that we live in the panopticon, you can't really have serial killers much anymore, but which is like, look, with surveillance, we're getting some good things about us. We're getting rid of serial killers. That's cool. We're also living a life that none of us recognize. No one's eating, no energy to kill. Quite sad. Yeah. But before the panopticon, you used to have really interesting serial killers. It was crazy. I remember Florida state, it was Ted Bundy's last stop and I like went to school there. Last stop. Last stop. On his tour. Yeah. Last stop. Hey guys, I'm coming through Talanasti. Um, yeah. He kind of did a campus tour. Yeah. He did a campus tour and you, it was a scary energy. People talked about it. It was a nightmare. And yeah, I researched it so much that I was just like, you should like study other things you're into, you know, just like Ted Bundy over and over. It's just scary too. Now we know so much and we're so distrustful of each other because it really used to be like, I feel like in the seventies, people, you, a guy with like an, his arm in a sling would just be like, can you help me put these rugs in this van and it's the middle of the night and like a single woman would be like, absolutely. Now we don't trust each other because it turned into killing. I know my aunt Carol, you still literally a hitchhike to work every day. That's cool. Don't tell stories like that. And I'm like every day, you should be able to do shit like that. Well, something that we're not talking about enough is that I actually think 80% of people are good. I really actually think like 80% like people think it's like we're in like 50, 50, we're so divided. I'm like, no, I really think these like there's like a 20% lunatic pocket and they're like really, really making the 80% like everyone at each other. I don't think it's that many. I think the 10, 80, 10 rule is true about most things. And in terms of people, I think it's 10% of people are truly evil, like truly, truly evil people. 10% are truly angelic, like undeniably good. And the other 80 are just floating kind of somewhere in the day to day. That seems more correct to me. You're angelic. For sure. No, I think I'm probably in the 80. I'm probably in the 80. We know some of the 10s. We know some of the 10s. We do. I think you are one of the 10. Thank you. That's very sweet. I put you in the 80. No, I don't think it's probably with people, I don't think it's probably actually 10, 80, 10. I think it's like really truly evil, horrible people. I think it's really, truly like less than a percent. Like I just don't think most people are like that. I think it's really, really small. And I think that they've done some really, really good work recently. I like making us think it's a lot more. Well, also evil people have just done some good work recently. They've done some good work. If you like evil, you got to love. We're living through like the 90s bulls right now. You got to love this shit. Exactly. Stephen Miller's evil freak ass is like he's in power somehow and he's getting his shit done. They, I know, but they're starting to be upset. Like I saw Curtis Yavin the other day was like, this is a mess. I'm going to leave the country and I was like, oh, you guys are fighting. And the girls are fighting girls are fighting, which means the world. You know, I know would you. I would say if I said what I thought about Stephen Miller on this podcast, I would be in a one of those old timey medieval town square stocks by tomorrow morning. Let me ask you this. Okay. Would you, would you live in a world with no phones? If you could, even though this is such a part of your life, do I have to be poor in it? So you have to be so crazy. I'm like, and you have to be living in the streets. No, I know you don't have to. You don't have to be at all. I get to have the life I have now, but none of us have phones. You get to, I don't know that your financial situation. It could be, but there's no phones at phones never existed versus they existed. Yeah. I would undo them. I would have, if I had my power, no matter what it did to my life, I would stop us at the Blackberry and the Blackberry was, should have been the end of it. Yeah. The Blackberry should have been the end of it. People were emailing on there. They were texting, but it was kind of hard. I don't even know who created it. They had phone calls. We don't need to, we didn't need to know about these. Rocks. Like I love that. I didn't know that we didn't used to know about fucking CEOs. I know it's probably like Sierra Blackberry. She's like walking around minding her own business. Probably not, but that doesn't matter. It's like, it was a girl. It might have been a girl, but I don't think her name was probably Sierra Blackberry. We know who she was. There was. We know, we know Sierra Blackberry. I miss her. Yeah, I love her. I miss somebody I never met. All the time. Well, the other day, the other day we were talking about missing, um, missing people and having to be like a person, like having to be like missing someone versus like a specific person versus just like the feeling of like longing for love, you know, and I quoted Florence and the machine and Caleb said, never do that again to me. Well, we were having like an earnest conversation about like missing a person versus missing a love and when they're the same and when they're different and missing like a routine and we were being very vulnerable and then Holmes, Holmes goes, I want you so badly. You could be anyone. Holmes, this is this is exactly what Holmes did to me. Holmes goes, I want you so badly. You could be anyone Florence and the machine and I stopped me dead in my tracks and I went, okay, don't ever do that again, but absolutely. Well, okay, so there's a there's a book called, I believe it's called, they can't kill us until they kill us by Hanif Adaraki. He's amazing. He's amazing. I love that book and I love that book. And I wasn't a big Florence person and he talked about that in it and I really stuck with me because I feel like I feel that feeling a really a lot. And I used to let that have me be in romance or relationship sometimes when I wasn't ready because I had that feeling so strongly. And yeah, I just like that I that book is just so good because I'm just like, I don't know, because I want music all day long, but it was, you're right. I should have just locked in and not brought up a quote. I'm like, it was beautiful. No, I do love that book. His, his, his reviews are incredible. He's so incredible. And I just like, you know, like live shows, comedy, music, they mean so much to me in every single way. I think they've, I think live performance has like saved my life. I really believe that. And yeah, he does such a good job at like talking about it while also like connecting it with our day to day life. Yeah. What are you excited about right now? What's making you excited? I'm really excited that I live here. I just moved to New York. This is huge. I moved to New York. You kind of fought me tooth and nail every step of the way, but we got it done. I feel really, really, I feel really happy about it. I feel really lucky about it. And I also feel really excited about the fact that, I mean, I feel like you're going to make fun of me, but I feel really excited about like the people power right now. Like I feel excited that I know that we are going to get through this. I have like hope finally again. Like I had like, I would say this summer I was lacking hope, but I was doing, I was, you know, I was doing everything I could with people and I was like, you know, I was in LA so much and I just didn't, I didn't have hope. I was just feeling really, really, really down at the same time. And I have hope again in a real way. And I think it's because I drove across the country. I've been taught to move here. I've been talking to so many people all the time. And I'm just like, I really, really, really believe that 80% thing that I talked about. And I think that in the next, I think in my lifetime, I'm going to see like us not be run by billionaires. I think I'm going to see that. Like I'll talk to some people and they're like, I don't think that I'll see that in my lifetime. And I'm like, I think I'll really see it in my lifetime. So those are the things I feel excited about. I feel excited about like general humanity for real. And then I also feel really excited to live in York in a way that like I couldn't have afforded when I got right out of college. And like a lot of my friends moved here right then and I couldn't afford that. I lived in Chicago, which was the best decision on my life. And now I get to live here and it's just the best ever. And I've been out like shows all the time. It just, yeah, it makes me really happy. It's so funny the things you think I'm going to make fun of you for because you like right before you say Florence and machine that doesn't trigger in your brain. But right before you say you're like inspired by people power or something that we talk earnestly about like every day of our lives. Well, I just like, I didn't know if the wording would I like, I just, uh, yeah, I feel really, really inspired about that right now. I do. And I feel, um, the New York, I feel happier about two, because I'm going to make myself like dance more and stuff. Like that's something I've like lost in the last few years. Like I don't go dancing at all anymore. And like I was here the other night and you know, we were talking about that, like we're good places to go out. Like I just feel, yeah, I feel happy about being alive. Me too. I like that for you. I'm glad you're that way. Is there something else coming up for you that you're excited about? Oh man. Um, insanity, insanity. It's I'm, I'm tired and I'm got more tire coming up, but you're working too much. I am. I'm just working too much. And I'm, and I'm, I don't really see the end of it kind of at the moment. It's like, technically I'll get a break in like a month and a half after a really, really tough coming up month and a half. And I would like to, uh, I'm excited for that hypothetically, but now I'm getting to the point where every single week since the beginning of this year, I have felt excited for the break that was to come. And then it's been taken away from me and it sort of snatched away from me. Snatched away. And so I don't, I'm like, now it's hard to even get excited about a potential break because they just don't come in the way that I need them. So I'm really, really hoping that I get the end of the year off. And that would be exciting to me. You're going to get it off and you're just going to have to say it. You teach me to say no all the time. You're just going to have to be like, don't, I won't do anything. I said no so much this year and it didn't save me. That's the issue. He's too successful. Well, it's just, it's a good year. I'm excited. I'm grateful. It was all good things this year was all things I wanted to do. And I'm so grateful. I'm just like, no, it's like, we, like you do it's work. It's really hard work. Yeah. It's, it's work. It's work to make everything. It's work. It's work, honey. It's work, honey. Boots. How did you feel about Diane? What? Passing. Did that affect what she did? She mean a lot to you? Diane Keaton. Yeah. I just thought about her when you just, I don't know what that was. That's an impros, us playing or minded me of her. I love her. I love her. It meant a lot to me. I know. Do you know what? Actually, one time I do love her. I'm so sad that she's gone. Obviously. I, but what an inspiration she really is. And there, there's something I think about all the time that I think about her constantly where I was in LA one time and this guy, I was like next to him at a coffee shop and he was talking to his friend and I knew his friend, but I didn't know him and they kind of got into that point in the conversation where they were kind of catching up while I was ordering. And he goes, I was like, I'm here. And no, no, it was sweet. It was nice. They were like catching up and I was kind of listening and the guy goes, the guy goes, um, a tree fell in my car. I'm so pissed. And I'm, I'm, I had, I was like, oh, damn, that really sucks. And his friend goes, Oh, fuck, I'm so sorry. And he goes, yeah, it's kind of cool though. It was Diane Keaton's tree. And I, to this day, I like, it occurred that like I was ordering the coffee and I had to lock in and then they kind of moved over to the table and there was never a natural moment to find out if he was being earnest or not. That's, but to this day, I don't know if that was a bit or like a very fun, but he, he, he literally like lit up. It was like it was Diane Keaton's tree. It was Diane's pain for my part of the fix. Well, also, you know, Diane would, would she be like, she'd handle that. Well, she, her insurance would have to, yeah. I'm like, she handled it herself. She came out, she's like fixing the window. I will say, cause like, as you know, like I started, I've, after honestly, I was like, okay, I need some type of higher power. I don't believe in like this God people talk about, but I am understanding that I would like one. And so that's when I decided that it's going to be trees. And it's been going well. Yeah. It's been going well. And, but I will say they have had my back since it happened. He like rolled his eyes a little, but I'm like, it has. I didn't roll my eyes. They've had my back since it happened. Like this girl who I do not like a tree fell on her. And that was after I started praying for them. I know, I remember that. I know. When I was like, I couldn't believe it. I couldn't believe what happened. I was like, you guys, you don't have to be like that. Like I was like, I love you back, but like, you don't have to hit her. It's obviously, you know, that it's hard for me when you say, when you say that the trees have your back. It's I struggle and I come from a place of love. But you have some type of higher power. Yeah. You can't put an object. It could totally be. Clouds, you're more cloudy. You love, you love a cloud. You look at the sky and admire a cloud. I like a sunset. Yeah. I don't think I mean, I think every, I think every, I think God is in the trees as much as God is in anything. Sunset takes someone out. That'd be really fucking nuts. Yeah. The side does. Sometimes the sky takes people out and I never think that it's like the earth is acting on my behalf, but I loved when the tree fell on the woman and I'm happy for you and she was okay. She was okay. If she got hurt at all, I would be like, they would never do that though. They decided to teach her a lesson. Yeah. If a tree falls nearby, like just know like. They got Greg Abbott. They, wait, what did they? A tree got Greg Abbott. Did you know that? There's so much news that I don't even know this. Well, did Greg Abbott, the governor of Texas, he got hit by a tree. He's in a wheelchair because he got, he was on a run when he was in like his 20s and the tree fell on him. Big God guy, by the way. Big God guy. But you know what, you know what? Not a big tree guy. Yeah. He should have been praying to the trees. Maybe God, God might be mad at me, but the trees, they love me every fucking day. Yeah. Let me tell you that. People got so mad at Jasmine Crockett when she called him governor Hot Wheels. Then I'm like, Hey, when you're that evil, everything's back on the table. Sorry. She's also a legend. I love her so much. Jasmine Crockett. Yeah, I love her. Yeah. She cracks me up pretty often. I just love her so much. I just think it's like, you know, I am someone who has never been a big like, I didn't study political science. I don't understand the government that much. I've had to learn way more than I would have liked to. I'll tell you that much. And Jasmine is like, I just love that she like, pop online and talk to us like a person because she's like, okay, if we're all online right now, then I'll be talking to you guys too. Like it feels like so many people in the government are still like wearing the wigs or whatever, you know? I do. I like, yeah, she has a very approachable nature, which I like. I like it a lot. She's smart as hell. And it's like, yeah, I wish that she would do a little less clapping back and a little more like, I think we need. The left has an issue with policy in general, and it's not a Jasmine Crockett problem. It's a left problem. Yeah. Um, but I wish that more of our firebrands would get on message a little bit, uh, harder into the point, but that all is to say, I, if she, I'm saying all this to say, if she were to run, I would have some real notes for something like bigger. But as a, I love, I love what she's doing right now. Yeah. Yeah. Same with AOC. AOC is actually on the opposite end of the spectrum for me sometimes where I'm like, we're a little too mired down in the message. There has to be kind of a happy medium. We need like a firebrand who does the, the message really well. For me, because like I said, you get me in the government, everything's worse than it could be. You can only imagine. So I'm like the people who are calling out the things that I think are horrible in our, around really, really scary men all the time who hate them. I'm like, I love you. I support you. It's not, I'm not going to, definitely not going to donate to your campaign. Like you text me to all the time, but I will support you and I'll, I'll heart it every single time. That's like the one, if we could really fix, if I could do one, if I could snap my fingers and have one thing, it would be getting the fucking. Money out of politics. Gavin Newsom texting me every single day to donate to him. I'm like, bitch, you have more money than me every single day and you always will. It's crazy. Yeah. And I have more money than all my friends. I'm like, and you're texting them too. I'm like, stop texting us. Like it is actually out of control. And acting like that's the only way I'm like, you have more work than I have done. You know, I like, I use more like fancy lotion than my friends. Like I'm like, we're like in a bad state if you keep asking us for money. Dude, I'm torn because I think two things are true. Like number one, I'm not voting for Gavin Newsom. And that's where I'm at. That's how I feel in my heart. And then I see people being like, why does the left always destroy our, our candidates before they even have a chance? And I kind of understand what is being said by that. I understand that. But he's not the left either. Like he's like back pedaling on trans rights. He's like been horrible about homeless people. Horrible. He is not our guy and I don't want to vote for him and I won't. But yeah, I'm torn on all that. I mean, we're not there yet. But I'm trying to not think of it like for me, I'm like, okay, what, what can, what can happen in my community right now? What is like the next thing right now versus like, for sure. That's my actions. I'm talking about my beliefs. Yeah. Totally. Totally. I'm saying that I keep, I keep seeing this discourse, you know, on to talk about him. And I'm like, yeah, I disagree with a lot of stuff he's doing, but I also do like anyone right now, or like I do support in a soft way. Anyone right now who is like going against full dictatorship. Yeah. I wish we could just get, I wish we could get a fucking working person. I wish we could get a working person. I wish we could get an organizer, a fucking like union organizer from the south. Like I wish we could get a person who has an actual job, who's not a fucking fake figurehead for a company who's not a politician, who's not super rich, a real working person who lives in a real place that understands the issues and has some charisma. I wish we could get them, pour all this fucking money that is always being thrown around behind them and do something like that instead. I think that we will. I would love that. I think we will. I mean, I think that Zoran shows. I mean, I remember when I followed Zoran, he had like, I don't know, like 27,000 followers or something. It's like what he's at, like almost like over four million. And it's like, he's just one example of like how hungry everyone is for exactly what you're saying. I don't think he's like this. I don't think he's one in a million people. I think there are more people like Zoran. And I think that Zoran, the movement behind him right now has shown how hungry people are for exactly that. So I think he's great for New York. Yes. I think he's great for New York. I'm very excited about him for New York. And we need to, we need to find the things that work about somebody like Zoran. For the other places. And make it work for everywhere. Yes. It's like here, Zoran is perfect for New York. And now we need to find like, I think Graham Plattner is that person in Maine probably, he's like an oyster farmer from over there. Yeah, very cool. I think like a teacher is probably that person for Iowa. Like finding who, who that is for every place. I would love to get teachers on a mic more and more is what I would like to say. My teacher friends were already not doing well and lately it is worse than, yeah, worse than I can imagine. I'd love to get a teacher on the mic. Would be fun. Yes. 100% Gavin Newsome's not one of those annoying ones. Gavin Gavin's your teacher. He would never. Some teachers are annoying. Do what? Who's the worst teacher you had? I'm not going to say her name. I won't dignify her with that, but she knows who she is. Who's the best teacher you ever had and why? Pam Constant, my high school English teacher. Pam Constant. Did she come to stand up shows? Um, I don't know if she's been, I don't think she's been to one. When we first started doing shows together randomly, like afterwards, someone would be like, I taught Caleb in high school and I'd be like, they're coming out to shows. Mine would never. I had some teachers that come out. I had some, I had some great teachers across the board. Pam's just the, Miss Constant is the person I connected to the most. And we've had like quite a few lunches since I graduated. We like keep in touch. That's beautiful. Um, yeah, she's just great. She was, she was never, she was just like, she was ally in a fun way where she wasn't like, she wasn't like trying to be that thing. Like some teachers were, like some teachers were trying to be your hero. And she was just like, well, they were like, had like a rainbow flag. Like, no, not even that, but just like trying too hard to be like cool with the kids where Pam was like, I'm not your friend, but if you need anything, let me know, right? You know, it was very like boundary to like, I just, and she's a great teacher too. She cares about writing and reading a lot. Yeah. And she taught writing in a way that I thought was really beautiful. I love that. Yeah. Yeah. She's like, I'm your teacher, not your friend. Yeah. That's always like a parenting style that I think is really interesting. Like some people be like, I'm your mom, not your friend. Yeah. Where some parents want to be like, my friends. Yeah. Which one, which one do you think you'll be? I am leaning towards that. I probably won't have kids right now, but I'm always down to change my mind because I love kids so much. I just am aware that I'm 32 and it's not happening this year for sure. Yeah. You might not keep one if you carry it. You might carry it for someone else. There's a lot of options. You know that I actually really, well, because I want to be pregnant so bad. I just think it sounds so incredible. Can you imagine the love for your body that you have being pregnant? Like it's insane. I that's some people's experience. Also, I would literally be such a diva with it. Like anywhere we go, I'd be like, like I would like want to be lifted and stuff, you know, come on, because it's just like, sorry, I'm growing baby. I really, and it pays well. Um, it really does. Two of my friends, one I went to high school with like there, I don't know all the terms, one of their things that didn't take one of the eggs didn't pop or whatever the fuck. And then so then like there, the person who's going to carry it for them was like her schedule was getting where it maybe couldn't happen. And I really debated it for a second. And I told them I was like, I need to get one more acting job that like. I feel like I'm in a place in my career that is OK. And then I would maybe do it for you. You won't be getting paid when you do it for me. It'll be for the love of the game. Which is crazy because you said you wouldn't have sex once for it to happen. No, I'm not gonna have sex. If you're a pain for a pain, then you better have sex. Like kind of threatening. Yeah, really, really interesting. Cut that cut that. No, we're leaving. You won't let me talk about it. Sounds where pay me or fuck me. Really fair, really fair. That is fair. Yeah, thank you. I've always said about guy when I'm into a guy, he either needs to fuck me or kill me. Enough with the friend stuff. It works enough with the friend stuff and it works. No, but um, what I do the friend thing. I think that I would be, I think I would explain the nuance to my kid and I would be like, I would love for us to someday be friends when you get older, but I'm going to probably be more of like a parent figure during this age. My baby. Six months. Six months. Six months. I'm like, focus up. Someday, I think in a different stage, we'll obviously have a different relationship, but the dynamic right now is giving parents. And I'm like, if I was your friend, I'd say you look like a sloppy little bitch. You know, like, no, I would never, that's why I do parent until later. Thank you. Um, yeah, I think, and then, uh, I would, the reason that I'm going to be jealous of my friends who have kids is deeply, deeply because of other adults. I think that is the coolest part. Like this age with my parents is everything to me. Yeah. Like I just feel like it's like you get to, yeah, like, do you feel like your relationship with Kelly has changed? Obviously. For sure. She got on anti-anxiety medication and that was big for us. She had some, we were friends for most of my childhood. And then there were a couple of years in my, uh, teen years where I was a nightmare because I was a teenager, but she was also untreated anxiety disorder. Yeah. And even she will say like the getting on anti-anxiety has changed her life, made her so much, but she, there were a couple of years there where I was being a nightmare because I was a teenager, but she was being so unreasonable about everything because of her anxiety that I would just be like, you're being fucking crazy and she'd be like, I'm not. And it's like, you are. And also I could tell I was being annoying and she was, it was hard. Well, a big thing for me that you just talked about, which is the big switch that happened with me and my parents is, uh, not living together. I don't ever want to live with my mom. Like I don't, don't want to live with you. And when we don't live together, it's amazing. And when we do live together, like I've done stints of it again and I go, Oh, I go when we back and we back, you know, I do not enjoy, um, living with my parents. It just is not the, we, we, uh, live on a different pace. You know, that's true about you. Yeah. It really is. What's this segment for you? Is there a photo of me on there? You know what this is. You've been on the show before. I know it's been a long time. Home is a time for the true or false segment. Okay. I did really bad last time. It's been a long time because you've refused to come on. I wrote. Just so everyone knows, I wish I could say what you said to me about it once, but I don't know what I say. You go, you go, you go, it's bad for your career and mine that you want to do the podcast. And I said, I said, I know, I said, I know it's best for me. And then guess what? We actually did it. If I, we left it at that, we pulled up and I said, it's because I wanted to get here. Yeah. I can know it. Keep it in, keep it in. It's funny. And I'm back. That's hilarious. I love when I say shit like that. Okay. All right. This is the true or false segment. I'm going to read you 15 statements. You're going to tell me as quickly as you can. If you think what I just said is true or false. If you get 10 or more correct, you're going to win 50 US dollars. Okay. You ready? Yes. I'm ready. Water is the only substance on earth found in all three forms, liquid, solid and gas. Uh, false. True. Potatoes are grown from potato seeds. False. False. The international space station is closer to earth than San Francisco is to LA. False. True. Wait, wait, wait. Say that again. The international space station is closer to earth than San Francisco is to LA. Okay. Florida States. Florida straights. Florida States biggest rival is the University of Miami. Uh, false. True. Oh, what? I thought it'd be UF. I don't fall fall sports, but I did go there. Go seminales, but not really change the name. Fruit loops are all the same flavor, just different colors. Um, false. True. Rose, I think I got everyone. This is the worst that's ever gone. Roseburn was born in England. Um, true. False Australia. I don't even know this girl. A group of caterpillars is called an army. Oh, that's true. True. It's funny. False. True. No, I get that one. Yeah, you get that one. It's only two. Come on. The whole depot is older than lows. Um, false. False. Campbell soup slogan is good. True. True. Your MCL is in your shoulder. Um, false. False. Your knee. The first known cat video was recorded in 1894. What? Um, true. It's true. Every odd number contains the letter E when written in written in English. Every what letter? Every odd number contains the letter E when written in English. You're the so fast I have to do this fast. Every odd number. The point of the segment is true. Yeah, you're right. You're right. Okay. False. True. I'm like dumb. Ms. Frissel. Ms. Frissel from the magic school bus. His first name is Courtney. False. False. Valerie. Rosie O'Donnell is an EGOT winner. False should be false should be the average credit score in the United States is 550. I buy slower than that false. False 705. How'd they do really bad really strong comeback, but nine. Yeah, one of the worst strong comeback. One of the worst yet though, I would say no in the game. You have some weird conceptions. No, I don't. I really like myself, but I don't think I know that much. I didn't say it was about yourself. Was the interesting part. What I'll say is this. Let's talk. The number part is crazy that they all have ease. Now I'm like really thinking on that. Okay. God, I really could have just locked in on that. Chance gets a lot of these wrong. Just so you know. So feel free to research because people will be like that's not true. People in the comments will be like go toe to toe with chance and he always claims he has it right. But sometimes I've seen them prove him wrong. The cat video is like, what camera are we on? You know what I mean? He's fuming right now. Yeah. He's so mad. You get into it with the comments. The biggest one was the bears can't swim. And people really went after me on that. Everyone was like, I've seen a bear swim. Yeah. Chance has a type of anxiety that's really prone to being spun out about something like that specifically. Well, it's also really funny because it's just like anything's going to swim if you toss it in the water. That's not true. I mean, like a bear like probably can't swim, but it's like he's drowning. Like he's got to figure something out. A lot of people I feel like who are like can't swim. It's like they really like. They drown. Some drown, but most. Your body starts to do some stuff. I cannot tell you how wrong I think you are. What if I say the age is like 14 up? Of course, I know if you like throw a baby in there, they're not going to be able to do it. No, most people who can't swim when they end up in swimmable water, they drown. Whatever. I almost died by fire. I do know that. You trying to make it? I'm like, I'm like, I know that people have died by water, but I've almost. Have you ever almost died? Yeah. What was it? I drove through a tornado. When? When I was like 18. You're chasing it. No, it chased me. Unfortunately. I don't fuck with storms like that. I'm not one of those people who chase tornadoes. There's a really, that's a special type of breed. They're scary. They're really, really scary. It's a scary type homes. What's so true to you? What's so true to me? So. I thought about this and was like, oh, you're committing. You should be funny. And then I was like, no, I'm not going to. So what is so true to me that I've been thinking about all the time lately is that I fucking love getting older and getting older and aging rocks. And I want that to be like more of a thing. I think like so much about me was like getting older is going to suck. Everything, everything everyone told me was like getting older is going to suck. Your, your body's going to hurt. People are going to like, you know, you're going to lose work. Like try to be young forever in every single year. I'm like, I love this more and more. Yeah. And you are still young, which is another part of it. It'll be interesting to see how that feels at like 45, 50. I'm still young, but you really hear some like women in their 50s, 60s be like, God, 60s are everything. You're like, you know, 70s are everything. And I'm like, I really think there's a, I know more and I know more of like what makes me feel better. I know who I like to spend time with more. Um, yeah, I think, I just think there's so much focus on the couple. I, I'm not, I'm not naive enough to be like nothing is hard about getting older. Like it's like, yeah, it sucks that maybe you're like me is hurt more or like, you know, that your face looks different or whatever. But to me, I think there's just so much focus on those ones. And I'm like, I would say 95% of everything, getting older. It just is amazing to me. I think so much of life is perspective. And I think that it, I think that people, people just dwell on, I don't know, aging is one of those things where I feel, I feel very far away from people who were really intense about it sometimes because as much as we kid, I'm like, I feel the same way about people when people talk about being fat, a lot of like former fat people, especially speaking of earlier, we'll talk about, they're like, yeah, when I was fat, no one looked at me. I couldn't. I was ignored. People treated me horribly. And then I lost weight. And the most surprising thing was how nice people are. And I was like, that kind of sounds like a you problem because I light up the room. So I don't know what to tell. I'm like, I just feel very distant from that. And sometimes when people talk about aging in the same way where they're like, I turned 30 and everything got worse. I'm like, I feel like you have a bad attitude. Well, and not only that, but it's like, everyone's so nice. Those people who just switched on you are the worst people in the world where it's like what we've talked about a lot is like, I don't know, I've got older. Like the guys who used to hit on me when I was 18 and they were like 34 or whatever, you know, and it's like one of those things where I'm like, now I can see that where if someone doesn't talk to me because I'm like, you know, maybe look older than someone that they'd want to date or something. I don't want them to talk to me. Like I think the things that come with getting older that make people upset are like the things I actually love. Like, yeah, I think getting older is so cool. I've liked it every year. And I also acknowledge that we're still very young. And so I'm like, I leave space for like maybe in our 40s and 50s, we will feel different. I don't think we will because I think we both also are people who choose, we choose the positive perspective anytime that we can, even when things are negative. Well, and it's just like literally, I mean, it's just such a gift to be able to get older. Yeah. I mean, I saw one of us doing a joke the other night about how like the prince of Egypt was like nine years old or something like that. And I was just like, they used to have princes at nine because they were all dying by like, you know, 18 or whatever. Like I was like, we get to live in this time period where we get to live to like a hundred maybe or whatever. And I'm like, yeah, that won't be my story. Could be. I'm not living to you. I could see you being a hundred and just being so fucking funny. I'll tell you one way or another. I'm not living to a hundred. What, what stage will you be like? Absolutely not. I don't know because I haven't gotten there, but I know that probably if I get to the seventies, eighties situation, there's probably a day in there where I go, it's been fun. I'll be running and see. I'll be dog. No, there's no chance I'm doing that. Like 98 year old like wheeled out to their birthday party. I'm all my love to those people. You see some of these people who aren't like that anymore. It's like crazy. Yeah, but they live in ways that I don't. They like do, they do yoga every day for two hours. Sometimes you see a hundred year old and she's like running an Iron Man and you're like that's her story. Yes. And I'm like, I can't do that. That's her truth. I won't be doing that. I can't be doing that. No. Yeah, I'm not doing that now. I'm certainly not going to do it then. What's your least favorite part of being older? Yeah. Um, the oppression in our industry. Nice. No, that doesn't really happen to you yet. Well, it does sometimes people will say it like it happens in ways that it really genuinely does sometimes and it happens. Um, but I'm so lucky. I'm like, I'm like, how fucking snuck in, you know what I mean? Like I'm very lucky with my path in like the fact that I got to be, well, and you know what I mean? It happens brain wise from things I read. And that's, I think why I said also that I love aging because I want there to be more like rhetoric around that because that is my truth in my day where I was reading Wikipedia pages of actors and stuff growing up being like, how the fuck could I do this growing up in Nebraska and Florida? Like how could I do this? And they would all be like, I, I, you know, gotten my first movie at 16 or like lots of times it was like five years old or whatever. And so a lot of it is like the storytelling, um, from other actors. Oh, for sure it's happening. Yeah. So that's my least favorite part, which is like, like I said, gonna change. I don't feel like that is a forever thing at all. Yeah. What's your least favorite part of being older? Probably all the people dying. Oh, Holmes, guess what? It's done already. We did it. We had an episode. Probably all the people dying is so fucking funny. I love you so much. I love you so much. Thanks for being on the show. I love you so much. Tell people where they can find you and don't be a coward. I won't be at all. Um, you can find me on a line, underscore homes, underscore homes, but more importantly, I'm going to start a monthly show at Union Hall. So look out for that. And of course, overcompensating season two, we will film soon, but yeah, just going to be back into live performance coming up. So look out for that on my pages. And also when you're not doing that or listening to this, get offline, throw your phone. Tell them your address. Oh my God, you really did. That's all put it on the screen in case people couldn't hear. Love you so much. Thanks for doing that. Love you, baby. That was a hate gun podcast.