2026 NFL Draft 101: DK's Top-Five Mock, This Year's Jaxson Dart, Top WRs, and the Four Loko Era

Welcome to the Ring of Fantasy football show. My name is Danny Heifetz. I'm enjoyed by Danny Kaling Creek World Record. And today we are going over your introduction your 101 to the NFL draft. DK or draft expert here. Yard top 32 players bigboard up at the ringer.com. You got your mock draft up at the ringer.com. We're going to go through just introducing people to this year's draft. We have some emails at the end that are pretty fun. DK, what's the URL? Go. Yeah, it changed this year Craig. Damn it. Why do you have to ask? It's okay. It's I don't actually know how to talk about dot the ringer.com redirects there. Sure. So that's the list. Okay. Well, that works. We're going to go through this and also emails at the end. We found Craig's extra appearance in the Emily Dickinson movie and the game show that Craig was on, which he couldn't remember the name. Internet sleuths out here doing work. Shout out to them on some important stuff. Email us at ringerfancyfupalgemo.com and shout out to the people in discord who immediately found Craig in all these movies. Can you guys find the zodiac? That'd be cool. Get on that next. Okay. We're going to get to the draft. And again, we're covering the draft. We're going to be at the combine in Indianapolis in a few weeks. And you know, after the Superl stick with us, we cover the draft off season trace for agency. Everything starting with DK. The number one question on the minds of everybody with this draft. Let's just get to it. Does this year's draft suck? Yes. Okay. But I want you to tell me, is it like across the board, the top players in every position are weaker or is it just the sexy positions like quarterback, wide receiver, running back, edge rushers suck or is it just like bad across the board? No, I think it's mainly in particularly just there's not very many good quarterbacks in this class. We got Fernando Mendoza from Indiana who's almost surely going to go number one overall. And then we might not have another first round quarterback, honestly, which is pretty rare, obviously, and a lot of times drafts get judged by the level of talent at the top. But I think it's the quarterback situation. And it's a flattening after that where, you know, there's a bunch of really good players at non premium positions. Caleb Downs is up there. And it's like, is he going to be a top 10 pick or top safety? Yeah, sorry, safety. We've got our Valarice from Ohio State who is kind of a tweener guy. He might not teams might be a little hesitant to pick a player like that, that early Ruben Bain who's gotten a ton of hype this year, but he has really short arms. There's just a lot of blood. Ed Rodgers, yes. Sorry. It's the one away. I'm going to make you do that the attack show. Our Valarice is brutal. But yeah, I think it's at the top. There's not as many quote unquote blue chip players as you might see in a typical class. But I do think it is there's plenty of reason to be excited about. I think it's a good receiver class. I think there's some very interesting edge players in this class. There's some really rangeline backers, Craig Loves, rangeline backers. So that's going to be exciting for him. Big rangeline backer class. I think the thing that almost sums up the class to me in some ways is the running backs. The running backs are kind of top heavy. We've got Jeremiah Love who's so good that he's a top 10 pick probably or maybe the number one overall player and some teams boards just as talent. And the gap and the number two running back in the entire draft class might be Jeremiah Loves back up at Notre Dame. Right. It really highlights that it feels like that across a lot of spots where there's just there is talent at the top, but the gap between that top tier and then there's just large gaps in certain positions quarterback is obviously the big one. But honestly, a lot of fantasy ones too. So DK, starting with I want to talk about Mendoza, which we can this is America's favorite off season segment. DK do it. What am I doing? I'm just so rusty. You know what to do. What is America's favorite off season segment? I totally don't know what I'm thinking. What are you talking about? We're going to talk about the quarterbacks. Yeah, yeah. So what is the signal we talk about the quarterbacks? Nothing's coming. What's your catchphrase every time we check it on quarterback? Yeah. We've been doing this for a couple years now. Like four years. I'm. Can you just say it? No, I can't remember. No, it's based off one of our favorite most quotable movies. It does ring a bell. And I'm completely blanking on what we're talking about. Imagine you are hosting a local news channel. And panda wide. Okay. Okay. Uh, for the list panda what? There we go. Okay. Starting with panda watch. Then a while guys. I'm sorry. We're going to check out another quarterbacks like Paul Red checks in on pandas and from anchor band. And we're going to have done anything since the last time we talked about it, but we have to talk about it anyway. Yeah. So DK, you're right for. For an end of Mendoza is probably the only interesting quarterback in this draft, but he's so interesting that he might there might be enough conversation around for an end of Mendoza to fill up the next three months. Um, right. DK, you're comp for him. You do great comps on the draft guide. Uh, a lot of them are kind of serious one to one NFL comps and the other ones are pretty funny. Like you have a guy from Miami whose comp is Jim Carrey and the cable guy. And for a fan end of Mendoza, you have flacco on the field, Russ on the mic in all caps. Can you explain that? So stylistically, he kind of reminds me of Joe Flacco tall, kind of gangly looking guy, pretty good arm, good processor. Um, I guessing he'll probably have a long career in the NFL, um, but on the mic, man, he is Paul like polished derogatory, just too, too polished, um, where it feels like and this is something that Russell Russell Wilson talked about forever when he was early in his career is like his dad Russell Wilson's dad trained him to be in press conferences when he was in middle school legitimately, like prepping him to be a politician someday, um, for Fernando Mendoza has kind of the similar vibes where he, he'll get asked a question on the field and then look directly at you in the camera and answer a question and, and it's just like so polished and I don't know, it's just really funny. I do genuinely really like Fernando Mendoza. In fact, he's the top guy on my board. But yeah, the interviews are a little bit tough. You haven't as the best player in all an entire draft. Yeah. Well, I think the quarterback thing also factors in there. I think if you're talking about pure talent, you might have some other guys that are, are number one thing, but you know, with the importance of quarterbacks, um, that kind of pushes them over the top. It's funny. The quarterback having a LinkedIn that's genuinely updated is unbelievable. And I don't know. I assume LinkedIn at this point is smart enough to be paying him because Mendoza actually updated his little picture of LinkedIn. And I helped from LinkedIn open door with the hashtag, but he actually, I mean, I, he, it's like actual filled out LinkedIn with all these, like he actually has in quarterback University of Indiana in his experience. His teammates are, you know, like, answer your little questions. Is he good at throwing? Yeah. And he's got like the skills on the bottom. It's like throwing footwork, arm talent, PowerPoint, PowerPoint. Do you think? I don't know. You comparing him to Russell Wilson on the mic is interesting to me because I feel like, I feel like there is a natural authenticity to Mendoza. And even though it feels manicured, I do kind of think that's just who he is. And I feel like I think that's Russell Wilson to a little bit. See, I feel like if I were at dinner with Russ, he could be a completely different person. And if I've met dinner with Fernando Mendoza, this is exactly who he is. That's fair. That, I think that's a good delineation. You know, I don't know. I just was going to ask the waiter's name and shake their hand. And I think you can be. And he'll be like, these chicken tenders are too spicy or something. Like, yeah, okay, that makes sense. Russ, I don't know. Russ, I feel like I actually have no idea who he is. I feel like I know exactly who Fernando Mendoza is. Maybe Cursons is a better answer here. I don't know. Do you think my favorite thing to do because I'm not, I'm not a college football expert. I will act as the avatar for the average person who doesn't watch a ton of college football. My favorite thing to do is to make you compare to this current class to the prior classes. Mm-hmm. Last year, the quarterbacks for Kim Ward went one overall. You had Shador, Jackson Dart, you know, and then the year before that was a great class. You had Jaden Daniels, obviously Caleb Williams, Drake May, Michael Panics, J. Jim McCarthy. I want you quickly right now on the spot that those eight guys. So look at the 2025 draft, which is Dart, Ward and and Shuck. Let's do those three. And then the 2024 class, which is like your Caleb, your May, your Daniels and then McCarthy and Panics. Where does Mendoza kind of rest in that group to you? Sorry, my dog is barking downstairs very loudly. The dog is like Jackson Dart is first. Dart! Shut it. I would put him, I think I would probably put him right around Kim Ward. And so Kim Ward was the number one quarterback last year. Yeah. I probably would have Fernando and Dosa graded above Jackson Dart, Shuck. The other guys in that class. And then going back to 2024, that was the Caleb Williams class. Caleb, Jaden Daniels, Drake May. I would have those guys above all three. Mendoza, yeah. So it's kind of those three. And then then Dosa's kind of in that next year with Kim Ward. Yes. Above guys like Shuck and Dart and McCarthy and Panics. Right. Okay. That's where I, and I'm talking in terms of where I would have graded them. Pre-Draft, obviously now with hindsight, you could kind of like move guys around. I probably have Dart higher than I had. You have Dart first, Drake May second, Shane Daniels third, Caleb four. Yeah, yeah, sure, sure. But yeah, that was based on kind of like where I saw them coming into each draft. Hi, Fitz, do you feel like, did your opinion of Fernando Mendoza change throughout the season? Like did you go from this guy's a fun story to I actually think this guy is the number one pick in the draft? Yeah, I didn't really want to take him seriously. And then he just started playing well. I think that what separates me with Mendoza is that he played at his best against the best teams. And some of the games were the one in different kind of ways. Like you know, I mean, the Ohio State, the big 10 championship game, they beat Ohio State, who was probably the most talented team in college football by a lot. And that was a completely different kind of game than the way they beat Oregon. But they basically when they played NFL level competition, I think Indian, it just kind of smashed all these other teams. And I think Mendoza, like you ton of RPOs, I think as much RPOs as anyone in college football probably. But the pro style, the pro style traits are all there. Like, and I think it matters way more when you do against NFL level competition. But like Tom Brady, who's going to be making this pick for the Raiders, whether they say it or not, Tom Brady's the person in charge of this. Tom Brady, like when he lists the things he wanted a quarterback, the number one thing he says is like, can you throw a dig? You have the Armstrong, the throwball from the opposite hash to the sideline and beat the breaking speed of a cornerback. Because if you can, it's a pick six. Mendoza had some of the best throws of his season against Oregon against like NFL level competition. And he's just hitting far hash and a coach football hash is further away. He's throwing a 10 yard, third and 10. But the balls traveling like 45 yards in the air to get the 10 yards. And I'm like Brady's going to watch that and love it. Brady's also going to love that Mendoza based his entire freaking game of Tom Brady. Because he, they're going to talk all the time about how he's like grew up a mile from Miami stadium. Mendoza's from Boston or New England, the area. So he grew up a Patriot fan rooting for Brady. He's modeled himself off Brady. But the arm strength, the mobility, like I think frankly, like the grit. I hate to say it, but the freaking grit that like that touch down in the championship. The flippin' grit. Flippin' grit. Flippin' go. That's flippin', dude. We're flippin' champs. Guys, corny. I didn't want to like him. But he said, last so to me, that's the way it's seven toes. I didn't want to like him. He's too corny. I'm better than this guy. And I'm like, you know what? This guy's sick and I was being cynical and mean. And he's actually awesome. Is it fair to say that he's like a higher floor, lower ceiling type first round pick? I feel like he is a more old school traditional quarterback prototype. Big pocket passer, good arm, accurate. Yeah, you look like a last year. That Brian Chiergoff, Joe Flacken. Exactly. Because it's like Kim Ward was kind of like had a like freak arm talent, weird arm angle stuff like that year before that Caleb and James Daniels and Drake May are all completely different, more modern quarterbacks. You have like Bryce Young and CJ Stroud. Would you say Mendoza DK is like a, he's not going to kill you, but he's not going to be the reason. He's probably not going to be like the MVP type. And he's more likely to settle into that like Matt Ryan Kirk-Hazons range. And I guess Matt Ryan did wouldn't MVP. Yeah, no, and I think I mean the ceiling is always just funny questions like what kind of ceiling do you have if you're leading your team down the field with your arm? I think that's that's plenty of ceiling. Obviously, I think in the modern game, we look at guys like Jane Daniels over the last couple of years. Jane Daniels, Caleb Williams, Drake May is like a great example now. I mean, he's an MVP candidate because in a large part because what he can do with his legs. I mean, he's so dynamic. When everything breaks down, he can get out and run and really, really help his team. That's not really Mendoza, although he, I think he's athletic enough to kind of like scoot around and make plays, get first downs and things like that, but he's not a duel threat quarterback. I don't know, I think I just look at what he did in the college football playoffs and. I don't know if he's as talented as Joe burrow, but like he's not that different stylistically from Joe burrow. So like what are we talking about with ceiling here? You know, I think he Joe burrow is known as like icy cool ice in his veins, you know, but he's not physically that impressive. He has accurate deep ball. He's not very fast anymore after he tours ACL. So it's hard for me to talk about his ceiling when you know, you got guys like burrow who is like a similar body type to him. Is it amazing comp because as a personality, you would never do it. Even when he was in college, burrow was just so cool. But it's a similar story of the no one would have thought this guy would be a first or pick entering the season and then he did undefeated national championship first of all pick lock. But burrow had the, you know, coming out senior night with his name spell with the EA UX like burrow and then like the cigar and like burrow was like the coolest college quarterback in like a decade. And then Mendoza is just not, but you're right. And probably does kind of play a little bit of burrow. I think the infrastructure, the pocket, the pocket maneuvering with burrow is elite, but Mendoza has good pocket mobility too. It's like he's not fast, but he can navigate protection. I think when you look at the parallels of what they did in terms of leading their teams to national titles, winning the high. He's a high-spin winner who won the national title. There's only six guys. I think that we're undefeated national champion. He's a winner number one pick and it's like Joe burrow cam Newton. Mendoza and then like, you know, some dudes in Notre Dame in the 40s. So I think yeah, when you look at burrow and Mendoza's college stats. It really is like a come out of nowhere pop that final year burrow. I mean, the two years at our house they didn't really play. And then his first year at LSU, he had 16 touchdowns. And the next year he had 60. That team is just like that. And then it's fake. And then it does. Mendoza's like, you know, his last year at Cali had 16 touchdowns. And then his first year at Indiana he has 41. Like it's just completely coming out of nowhere. Yeah. Okay, this is where you two can come in handy because the rest of the quarterbacks in this draft. You know, I know these guys by name saw a couple highlights. Right. They were on at the bar on Saturdays. We can run through them. I'm curious to get your opinion on like, so DK in your in your first bigboard, your mock. You don't have any quarterbacks going in the first round outside of Mendoza. Right. There's a list here of one, two, three, four, five, six. I'm going to go six guys. And I want you guys to each give me who you think has the potential to be the Jackson dark or the Tyler shock of this year. So we have Ty Simpson, who's the Alabama quarterback. We have Carson Beck, who just lost in the national title on Miami. Garrett Nussmire of LSU drew all our Penn State. A Cade club nick from Clemson. And then I don't know. Do you want to add Diego Pavia? We probably don't see the senior bull right now. He measured it at five nine. I'm seeing both. He wants funny. And he was listed at six feet tall. But his college profile. He's five nine and seven eighths. So he's five, ten. Five, ten. And yet, he's going to drop a full round because it's five, nine and seven eighths and not five ten. Diego Pavia. I mean, yeah, Dylan Gabriel started games this year. He was about the same height. Ish. I know, but it's like, I'm not like ruling it out. But yeah, I mean, he's not, I would say I'm not taking him super seriously as an NFL quarterback right now. So let's start with high fits this time. High fits who, who do you think has a chance to be the surprise quarterback hit? I think the consensus number two guy is going to be Ty Simpson from Bama. I don't know how I feel because on one hand he had a couple good months. He frankly, I think Ty Simpson's the face of like why a quarterback maybe shouldn't be so loyal in the NFL era because he actually did the. I'm going to wait my term and then play at Bama and then he did. And now he's just like a, I think he's 22 and he's played 12 or 14 games or whatever. So it isn't my experience. But he's old to get it. Ty Simpson, if you went back to Alabama, I don't think he play 23 23. And if you went back to Bama, they have a six six Justin Herbert clone is going to play there. So I don't like that he's entering the draft because you couldn't go back to Bama. And I they were playing Oklahoma in the college football opening round and John Matier, who's a quarterback at Oklahoma who I love yet. Thumbs surgery in the middle of October. And I remember watching Bama Oklahoma and my intrusive thought when Bama was on offense was like, wait, which quarterback had surgery on the throwing end this year? Yeah. Like Ty Simpson, like Chris Fowler during the game was like, I think Ty Simpson's brain is right. God. And I'm sitting goes out there. We're sure that this guy is going to be the number two quarterback in this class. And I'm like, I watch Trinidad Shambliss at Ole Miss. And I'm like, I kind of think he's the number two guy and everyone's afraid to say it because he was playing freaking division two division three football, whatever before Lane Kiffin found him. I watch Trinidad play. I kind of just thought he was five nine. Apparently, I guess he's pretending to be six one. I don't know how really tall he is. I'm just doing Ole Miss to go back to school. And my intrusive thought is that if he has to enter the draft, I'm like, pardon me, thinks Trinidad is better than Dante Moore, which I know is not true. But I keep wondering about those two guys. Is he, so he's listed at six one, which doesn't seem right. Is he five nine? If Diego Povius five nine, what was he listed in college? Six foot. Yeah, I don't know. But I don't, I keep wondering if Shambliss goes back to school, I don't know. I don't love any of these guys, but I don't love Jackson's art. Obviously he's incredible now, but I don't know DK. If there was a guy that Tyler Schuck also was a late second or early second rounder that ended up clearly as a starting quarterback now, I think for the Saints at least next year. You've always like Garrett Nussmeyer at LL. I have. I think he's, it's him and Simpson to me that are going to be the guys during this process that probably get pushed up. And then we'll see what happens with Trinidad, Chambliss in terms of whether he actually gets into the draft or is forced into the draft because he's trying to go back. Modern college football is quarterback suing to go back to. He's suing. He's suing. So make more money. I get it, man, never leave. Yeah, it's like Van Wilder. Don't we always we could sue to go back to college? I would kill. I think it's such a funny class because Tyson Simpson. I he graduated before he started a game for Alabama and he's already 23 years old. He's 23 with one year of starting experience and he has 15 total starts in his college career. That's kind of all I need to hear. Yeah, I don't I don't I, but yeah, also people are going to talk him up during this process Craig because as a, as you know processing he's like relatively polished. Especially for a guy with that few of starts in the in his career. He's relatively polished like you see him make. You know NFL style throws his footwork is pretty good. Most of the time when he plays on balance. And I think the same. It's you could say a lot of the similar things about Garrett Nuss Meyer. He his dad is a coach in the NFL. All that stuff with pedigree and grew up as a coach is son blah blah blah. I think teams will like that. He's going to be more. I think ready for some of the mental stuff that comes with going into the NFL in terms of like he just kind of knows what to expect because his dad is literally a coach in the NFL. And not only that means a quarterbacks coach and he was the quarterbacks coach for Dallas under Mike McCarthy. There we go. So yeah. So I think to me, Nuss Meyer is the most interesting one. I think Ty Simpson will probably be the quarterback to he has a chance to go in the first round. But in terms of supply demand thing. Yeah, someone's going to talk 100% arrested. But I think Nuss Meyer would be the other guy that I'm probably most interested in. Both him and Simpson a little bit smaller. I think Nuss Meyer what I've seen is listed at like 6125 ish. Well, I see he was at the senior. What was his measure at the senior. But was it Nuss Meyer like last year? People thought Nuss Meyer was going to be a top 5 pick in the draft. Nuss Meyer was a guy that I think in September. Love like last year people were wondering. Yeah, if he would be a top 5 pick, absolutely. Like he may. Oh, would it be him or cam ward? Like maybe he would come out and then he just hasn't played as well ever since then and he ended up going back to school. He got hurt, right? Yeah, I mean, there's yeah, he got hurt. I mean, I think he was benchuring, Bam. I'm like, he didn't play very well. There's Bam. Which you don't like. I mean, I don't like that. I mean, I don't like that. I mean, I don't like that. I mean, I don't like that. 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So it ridiculously talented team that Caleb Downs went to last year. You know who called the coin toss for the national champions? And before the game, fucking Caleb Downs, before Notre Dame, he had transferred there. Like he had been there for like one off season and he's calling the coin toss. Do you know how much respect you have to get? Like the leadership, it's all the intangibles. Like that's data. It's not treated as data, but that is like the team saw every play from every player and they're like, he's calling the coin toss today. I just, on top of all the tape, where everyone's gonna tell you it's the best safety by far. So I love Caleb Downs. No one knows where he's gonna go, because he's a safety. But I, that's my favorite player in the draft. It's so interesting because he's a safety, but he's also, you know, he's a, he's a do-it-all kind of defender. Like he blitzes, he covers. He can defend the run. He's very instinctive. He's, you know, he's always around the ball. He has like a stat, he just fills up the stat sheet because he just has these incredible instincts. He's such a good athlete, plays with anticipation. So I was gonna say, he's a safety, but like he's really like a nickel-back. He can come in and play in the box like a linebacker. He can play up on the line as a blitzer. He can do kind of a lot of different things. So it is just one of those questions of how much the NFL is going to take into account that this is a less valuable position, gets paid less than some of these other like edge or tackle or whatever. And trying to side whether they think it's worth going up that high. I remember the Seahawks took Devon Wither Spoon a few years ago at, I think it was six overall. And I'm like, just take, like who cares? Take him top 10. I mean, Devon Wither Spoon is a nickel. He's basically doing the same thing down as Ken doing in a foul. Guess what, Devon Wither Spoon is the embodiment of how the Seattle Seahawks play football. Like Mike Sean Duke, I had a great, on Jackson Bevon's pod, the cigar thoughts, covered the Seahawks and Mike Sean Duke, or just wrote a book about Legion of Boom and he covers the Seahawks every day for the athletic. And he was saying that if you want to understand how Mike McDonald wants the Seahawks to play football, you watch Devon Wither Spoon play. And he's the embodiment of everything. And in theory, on paper, it's not a valuable position. Sure, that's stupid. That doesn't mean anything. It's like that was the conventional wisdom. But in reality, he, like modern Nickel Cornerbacks is basically just being you're the guy covering the slot receiver, you're the bridge between past defense and run defense and the ability to do both is everything. Caleb, it's not valuable in terms of payment and everything. It's, there are the top end pay of a salary of a position. It's not necessarily a dickative of how valuable the position is. Like that's just true. Quarterbacks are worth more. Like some positions are probably worth less. Defense Attacl safeties are not paid as much as they're actually worth. And it's also doesn't account for supply and demand. And this defense attack will same thing. But I'm like, you can't find players like Caleb down all the time. And like, that's an interesting thing we'll get into of a share of the course of the next few months too, which is edge rushers get paid more if they're really good and get sex. But there's a lot of edge rushers in this draft. How many other good players? I don't know. It's an interesting thing. There's also just more variance with a lot of these other positions. There's so much more variance with tackle. You know what I mean? This guy might totally just suck at the NFL level. So I think about how many top 10 tackle picks they've been taken because they have a lot of potential or they have good athleticism and just need to be like clean up their footwork or whatever. It's just safer. Yes, I think he's he's safer as a higher school. We say fantasy. It's like you don't you can't you can't win your draft in the first round, but you can lose it. Yeah, Caleb. He's going to make your second day better if you take Caleb down. So here's my question for you DK. Yeah, I want to ask you about our Val Reese because I don't know how I feel about him. Like he's your comparison to the draft guys, G-Hot Campbell. And you know, also people compare I think you've also talked to me. He's kind of like Zach Bond where the idea if he's a linebacker who can be an edge rusher. He's an edge rusher. It can be a linebacker. He can go back. He's very modern player. And I don't know how I feel about him because I think if our Val Reese went to the Seattle Seahawks, he actually would win defensive player of the year before his rookie contract. Because he's the embodiment of modern defense. He can be anything. I also kind of feel like if our Val Reese goes to the Jets and Aaron Glendos and a vision for him, Aaron Glendos will be fired before Thanksgiving. Yeah. And so do you think our Val Reese and you do have him going to the Jets second overall or I appear out now. I'm sorry. The highest ceiling player, but like also probably a lower floor than usually happens for a player to go that high. Right. So I think last year I had G-Hot Campbell in my top 10 and he ended up playing mostly off the ball. Correct. This year's like he he's the type of player. G-Hot Campbell and our Val Reese where you kind of have to project where they're going to play at the next level before you can really figure out what their what their overall value is. I think Reese has the skill set to play on the edge as a dedicated past pressure. And I don't you know, you never want to like compare anybody to Mike Parsons, but like it's kind of the same question. Same discussion we were having with him coming out. It's like you can play off the ball. There's going to be on the edge or both Jalen Walker last year for the for the Falcons is kind of the same guy, but Reese is way longer and bigger and more explosive, I think. So what I'm getting to is basically this can be the type of player, quote unquote tweener where the NFL can screw it up. But I just think Reese has such a high ceiling because he's such a loose springy explosive athlete. He's just scratching the surface of what he can do as an edge rusher, but he can also play off the ball. He's only 20 years old. So there's a ton of development arc there for him. He's just he's just a really, really exciting player to watch. He's a monster. Yeah. So, yeah, I mean, I think think Jalen Walker slash Jalen Campbell and it just kind of depends on how they deploy him in the NFL, but I think he has a higher ceiling than both of those guys just because he's longer and more athletic. And you have Mendoza going one to the Raiders. You have Arville Reese going number two to the Jets. The Cardinals have the third pick in the draft. They don't have a head coach. I don't know if they have a quarterback. It's probably going to be Clint Kubiak, by the way. Cardinals are Raiders. What a bummer. You get him for one year. I know. Oh, boom, boom, boom, boom. They went with the Super Bowl. Let's shut the fuck up. What do you talk to you about? It's a bummer for them when he leaves. They're going to be sad. I'm going to ignore. I'm going to ignore high fits and thank you, Craig. You have the Super Bowl. You get over. I'll survive. The Cardinals are the third pick. You have them taking an offensive tackle out of Miami whose last name I can't pronounce. Can you do that for me? Mauioga, I believe. Francis Mauioga. Yeah, I could. I mean, obviously, I could be messing that up. He is just an ass kid. How good to see that the tackle scales. He like freak all-time tackle or just pretty good. I would not say freak all-time. I think there's questions of his like, this is, I feel like it's going to be a broken record during this. There's one question about it. Is he long enough to be a tackle? Does he have a good foot speed to be a tackle? Some teams might see him as a guard. Spencer Fano from Utah is another tackle that's potentially going to be the top guy taken. He mainly played at the right side at Utah. So that kind of throws into question, whether he's worth the top five, top 10 pick. I put Mauioga up top just because he's an ass kicker. He just plays so physical, tough, dependable. I think he's got a really good feel for blocking in sense like you see him so many times where at the snap, if he doesn't immediately get someone threatening the high side, he'll pinch down and help the guy out a little bit before he picks up another guy's looping around. He just does a really good feel for blocking and where he should be in positioning. And he's really battle tested. He's a big, really well built guy in terms of his physical stature. And so I think he's got a really, really high floor. I think the problem is some teams may not see him as like a tackle at the next level. Is this a good O-line class? Is there other trends? I think so. I think so. I think there's some really exciting defensive tackles. There's some really exciting offensive linemen. And there's a lot of edge players in this class. So yeah, I think this is a great class for yeah, trenches defensive line defense tackles offensive tackles. If you need to eat your vegetables and then there's also like weird bespoke things that you need to eat like running back to your safety so stuff. Quarterback you kind of out of luck and you're not the Raiders. Decay, you mentioned defensive tackles. I kind of just want to ask you, you compared Peter Woods, the Clemson guy to to Shia Lou, the worm from dude. Yeah, this was just so I can get Craig to do this. Shia, hello, Shia Lou. It's the greatest video of all time. Your friendly Iraqis said worm. They call him Moody. Moody. Your little desert mouse. The vetted jazza are nasty women. Nasty women? Trying to wage a holy war. Yeah, no, I the so he's the he's the dune worm. Yeah, I also threw in like take him first a gratuitous like he's a track definitely dropped the dune worm. I didn't of course you have the fucking dune worm going to the chiefs great. Great. Great. Real original. Craig, he's attracted to the rhythmic dropback steps of the quarterback. I felt like that was my. Yeah, that was the best part. He's an interesting one because coming into the season, I think a lot of people had him as one of the top players in this class. And then him along with a lot of the play at the defensive players on Clemson did not have a very good season. And so he's dropped off a bit. There's I think question marks of just like effort and everything and mailing it in this last season. But he's really explosive. He kind of just like a rotund wide bodied explosive guy in the middle of the field with really good twitch, really good lateral agility has a ton of upside as a past Russia. But there's just questions over why the production fell off this last season. All right, DK, so your fourth pick in the draft or I want your top five in the box. You have a electric fault. A man like I said earlier, I don't know who that is going to tighten. Right. Is there anything that I should know about this man? Here reminds me of Trayvon Walker from a couple years ago who ended up going first overall to the Jags and who kind of worked out. He's been good. And I think this is kind of what you're talking about with Falkwear. You see the the measure balls. He's this big, long, really powerful player who the production doesn't quite meet all the attributes. He's a young player. He's still ascending. I think the NFL is going to look at this guy and be like man, we can turn him into a monster. But there's going to be a lot of question marks throughout the draft process of like, OK, well, why didn't we see more production in college? Why is the twitch not quite there in terms of his get off at the snap, things like that? But he is a big physical, you know, prototypical defensive and type of guy in terms of his athletic traits. And so I think he's the type of player probably get pushed up just because of what the upside is there. But I think there's going to be again, the question marks are going to be like, OK, so why didn't the production happen in college? I just thought of a new test. It's the Kurt Signetti test, which is could this guy play for Indiana next year? And what I mean by that is the whole like Kurt Signetti doesn't recruit potential. He recruits production. It doesn't have to be counting stats, but just do you win reps? Or is there a feeling you could win reps in the future? And part of me is like if Kurt Signetti for next year's Indiana team could pick between like David Bailey or Kendrick Fault, you would pick David Bailey. Yes. And part of me, I don't know. I kind of just want to do a Signetti test sometimes like guys. What if I think that's a good? Yeah, that is a good, I think example, because I actually have Bailey ranked higher than Falk. But I think people in the NFL are going to look at Falk and be like, man, what? Could this guy be? He could be. Think about what he could be. He could be a boat. I love the old school. Like was he good in college? I'll take him. Right. And I mean, look a couple of years ago, it was Aiden Hutchinson versus Trayvon Walker. Yeah. And everyone was like Aiden Hutchinson was one of the most productive motherfuckers in college. And why is he not going above Trayvon Walker? What is ours? Trayvon Walker's arms have really long. Turns out Aiden Hutchinson, pretty good pick for the Lions. I would say far, far superior production in the NFL. So there are examples of the inverse on that, where the guy who's in college, not a ton of production, but lots of traits ends up being a total monster at the next level. So I think you could pick out examples of both arguments there. And OK, so now I want to talk about the Giants at 5. Because I've seen your mock. A lot of mocks are giving the Giants a wide receiver. Do you agree with that, Hivids? They just meant the 6-O-Vero pick on Malik neighbors two years ago. You want to spend the 5th-O-Vero pick on another wide receiver? No, I hate it. I'm sorry, DK. It's not you. It's everybody's giving the Giants a receiver at this pick. And it makes me want to tear my hair out. I don't really understand. It's just cool. It's just cool to do. Because you could be like Jackson Dart with Malik neighbors and Colonel Tate. And like that is awesome. It would be sick. And I would talk myself into it in seven seconds. It's like, well, this is the greatest thing that's ever happened. But I've been really confused that the mock industrial complex is like Giants and your receiver. I'm like, the Giants did a right fucking tackle. Like the offense line's fine. But like, Jermaine Elemanor is an off. I don't know. I want to write tackle. Also, Andrew Thomas, the left tackle kind of gets hurt a lot. I'm like, I want a tackle for Jackson Dart. And if we can't get that like edge, I get why the Giants might not take it, David Bailey, because they just have a little Carter. They have Brian Burns, you know, Tibido, if you need to lease. I want Caleb Downs here. Or honestly, I want like Spencer Fano, the tackle from Utah. Or like, if Mario is here at Miami, like, you have to eat your vegetables. I do think. Interesting coming from a guy who had an aneurysm because they let little Jordan Humphrey go to the Broncos. Well, yeah, that puts me in a point though. Is that like, what's your, like, why, in all seriousness, when was the last time a number, is Carnal take better than the McNeighbors? No. So when was the last time a number two receiver was taken in the top five of the draft? It just feels like a number two receiver. This is Devonte Smith. He was like six or seven. But yeah. Yeah, that did fair. He was 12, but like T or 10th at the Eagles jumped the Giants for it. But like, T Higgins is great. He was the 33rd pick, I think. I just, it's nothing to do with. It's nothing to do with everyone's things this. I'm probably wrong. I just look at it like supply and demand. There's a lot of great. I was looking at this like, this is the best available player. And it's going to help his quarterback. I agree though. Like, Juan Del Robinson had 1,000 hours. He was the top receiver for this team last year. We can't guarantee 100% that McNeighbors will be back fully healthy next year. No, I know. And that's fair. I just, I just like, if you want to actually start to pretend, and it's not you, it's just like the Ravens, when the only time they ever had a top 10 pick, I think with John Harboh, they took Ronnie Stanley. And I'm like, I would, I would like a wrongly stand. I would like a tackle for 10 years. That's just the way I look. You shouldn't be here again. I'm tired of being here. I'd like to leave with an offensive lineman. Yeah. The Giants have the 37th pick as well. It's like, take a receiver then. Although, I don't know. Maybe you take Carl Nelte in fifth overall, and then you see the two of them on the field together in training camp and you get excited. I don't know. Maybe. Yeah. The Ringer Fantasy football show is brought to you by Fandall. What's the last call for football in Fandall? One final Sunday, one last kick off the final chance to place your bets before the NFL season closes. It's tab. And if you're a new customer, bet $5 to get $200 in bonus bets if you win. Make it count because after the Super Bowl, the season's over and football is officially done. Last call for football in Fandall and official sports but partner Super Bowl 60, visit Fandall.com slash Ringer. Fandall city gets started. 21 plus in present and select states or 18 plus in present and DC. Kentucky or Wyoming. First online real money wage. They're only $5 first deposit required bonus issued as a non-drawble bonus bets which expires seven days after a seat restrictions apply. See terms at sportsbook.fandall.com. Gambling problem call 1-800-gambler or visit rg-help.com. Call 1-888-789-7777 of visit ccpg.org slash chat in Connecticut. TK, I want to talk a little bit about some water severs but before we move off, Carnell Tate, the guy we just argued about, your comp for him is Tony Hawk's pro skater. Right. Do you remember the game? Did you play that game? Or do you remember the skateboarder, the real person? I'm familiar with Tony Hawk as a human and I did play the game as well. Nice. Basically, he's tall kind of gangly. Carnell Tate is tall kind of gangly. Also, Tony Hawk tall kind of gangly has a weird, almost unnatural ability to twist and turn and contort in the air and land on his feet. So I kept watching Carnell Tate like catch these back shoulder spitting pirouette catches in the end zone and I was like, man, it looks like he's doing like a 1080 on the on the half pipe Tony Hawk style. So and also I just wanted to throw a shadow to Tony Hawk pro skater, great game. Which was your favorite one? The first one, I don't know. How many did they have? What was the one you could build the half pipes and you could like build your own skate park? It was kind of like before Halo did it. I never did. You could build the map. I played the first one religiously and that was not it. One of the Tony Hawk one is where you meet Bam Marjira in Barcelona and you're like scantigran Barcelona and then you can build your own half pipes. That was like that was revolutionary. The music on Tony Hawk's pro skater. So hard, right? Yeah. I think I played pro skater three the most and maybe underground two. But I do remember those early days, I remember playing Mad in in Tony Hawk and like the early the soundtracks were so good. Oh yeah. I remember that that song, the A's of spades. The A's of spades. Remember this song? No. Bang. I think that song is very famous. I probably was exposed to Lincoln. It's motorhead. It's on through Tony Hawk's games. It's motorhead. Anyway, what's Tony Hawk up to? He's still just chilling. He's still kind of skating. Do you think we can get him on the show? Maybe. In a value of carnal tates tape. Yeah. Speaking of carnal tate, every time he scores a touchdown, Gus Johnson would be like, Garnell Taters, home run hitter. It's pretty great. Tater from Tate. Tate is sick. He is. When you guys, when you guys, I should take it actually. They should take him. He'd be great for a young quarterback. Wow. All these songs are not coming back to me. What are they? I'm trying to find the names of these songs. Oh yeah. Del the funky homo sapien. If you must was on whatever Tony Hawk Pro Skater I played. Man. Good song. There was some Superman by Goldfinger as the one that really comes to my mind first. Here I am. Do do do do do. Just like takes me back there. Mel and Colin, no cigar. Some great ones. OK. Other wider receivers to talk about. It's a good wide receiver class. Can you break down? Like we have guys like Jordan Tyson. We have Makai Lemon. Would you say this is an above average top tier of wider receivers? Or would you say it's just OK? I think it's a good class. I think there's a handful of really good players. I have I think seven guys in my top 32 right now. That's a lot. Or six? No, six. So yeah, I mean, I think it's a very good class. I would not say it's like a super elite class because like he said, the car no tape thing. He's probably a number two receiver at the next level. Though he could be number one. Makai Lemon, a little bit undersized, but super explosive, super twitchy in the short area, run after the catch. A lot of people have to say. You have your best guys in number two receiver in NFL, which means all of these water receivers, none of them in your opinion are number ones. I don't think there's anybody to the level of, you know, kind of like a neighbors thing where he's going to be a true number one superstar receiver, like Jamar Chase type of player, but you have a lot of really good, yeah, like number two type players. So I would say it's a good class and a great class, but there's plenty of players in this class that I really like. Makai Lemon from USC. I think he won the bullet in a cuff a lot. I've seen people compare him to Steve Smith senior, which came to my mind. I come to the Doug Baldwin because of what he does in the air. He just catches passes that he has no business catching. He'll go up high, you know, in traffic, there's two guys around him and he'll pull it down and somehow land and catch the ball run after the catch. He's really twitchy kind of turns into a running back after the catch going down the list here. Jordan Tyson from Arizona State. He's a twitchy athlete, big guy. I come to him to Christian Watson type of player where big plays down the field, big frame kind of deal Kevin or Casey Concepcion from Texas A&M super fun player. My comp for him is Khalil Shakir in terms of just really good body control. Make some incredible catches run after the catch. Big time playmaker. He played on the outside a lot though this last year. So I think he kind of answered some questions. Whether he's just a slot only. That's interesting because like you're talking about these guys and you're comparing them to like Khalil Shakir Christian Watson. I'm like Doug Baldwin. All right. That doesn't get you going. I don't know. These are first round picks. I mean, even I so Baldwin is undrafted. Yeah, but what did he do in the NFL? Yeah, a thousand yards is first season. Yeah, but if you knew you were getting Doug Baldwin, would you draft him in the first round? Yeah. You think so? Oh, yeah, 100%. Oh, I don't know. I don't know if you knew you were getting Doug Baldwin's car. I don't know. Take him at all in the first round. Have you seen some of the dog shit players come out of the first round? I don't think I would. I think that's too low of a seal. I don't think I would either kidding me. Doug Baldwin. Doug Baldwin was like a solid receiver. He had three seas. He had two seasons over a thousand yards. He had 14 touchdowns in 2015. No, two 1000 yard seasons. I'm not taking that. And another 900 yard season. He had 6,000 yards in his career. No, I don't know. I would take that in the first round. You have Seahawks bias. You like him. Jackson, Spith and Jigbal also went in the first round. And he had more yards than Doug Baldwin than in his first three years combined this year. OK. If you guys don't want to take a little first round. I wouldn't take, I wouldn't take a little Shakira Christian question. You guys can take some rando guy in the first round. But this comes back to whether we think this class sucks, or if we're just nostalgic for 2027 or if it's N.A.L. Because there's receivers probably one of the deeper ones, but we're saying they're all number two. Yeah, I mean, you have Denzel Boston, another guy from Washington. Your comp to him is Cortland Sutton. Again, good player. Don't know if I would take that in the first round. I think the other thing that's happening here, Craig, is I try not to compare these players to the greatest people at each of their respective positions every year. Try to be a little bit realistic. I'm sorry that I'm not getting y'all jacked up here. But there's only one sandworm. Yeah. I think it'll be realistic that not all these guys are going to turn into 10-year all-pros. All right. Well, speaking of Jeremiah Love, the running back at another day, who is believed to be one of the better running backs in a while, right? And yet, your comp is Travis ETN, which gives me the egg. That's fair. Have you ever looked at Travis ETN's stats from college? Yeah, I know he was very good. But unfortunately, I have thought about the last four years he's been the NFL. You didn't think he was that good this year? Again, you have him as eight. He has three out of his four seasons. He went over 1,000 yards. OK. But I don't know if Travis ETN based on what I've seen of him the last three, four years is the eighth pick in the NFL draft. Yeah. I don't think I think the Jeremiah Love hype has probably gotten a little out of hand. People are like, well, Kuiper compared Jeremiah Love to Reggie Bush, which stopped me in my fucking track. I can't get there. These are the list of people you shouldn't compare anyone to. Is this like a classic? There's no one else. So we just end up hyping up the person who's at the top. No, I think he's good. I think he's a very good player. He's explosive, you know, dual threat. He's good in the passing game. He's a very good player. But he's not on the level of some of these elite running backs in my opinion, you know, like the B-john and Sequon and Gibbs and some of these guys. That have come out of Alaska leaders. I would not put him on that tier. I will say I kind of get how the Reggie Bush thing gets evoked because Jeremiah Love hurdles people a lot. And he does spin moves a lot. He's spin moves. And the receiving is unbelievable. Like the hands, he's like this one handed catch. That was pretty amazing. And I think he has the size to run in between the tackles. And it's kind of thin. He's like, I don't know what anyone is until they go to the combine. Yeah, he's not he's not he's not a power running back. I would know. He can run between the tackles, but I do think Jeremiah Love is like a special player. I think can we play a fun game? Sure. You do our draft guides here at the rear and also you do draft grades after the draft ends. Can we play a game called when will you give someone an A for taking Jeremiah Love? So like the draft great. So like the Raiders took him first. They would get an F, right? Because they're jetty. OK, the jetty. Can you imagine that kind of a one, two punch? It's like Bauer. You have Bauer's and Michael Mayer. And then you have like Jeremiah and Jenny. That'd be kind of cool. Desmond Ritter handing off to either one. You don't know which one. That'd be cool. Like the jet shouldn't take a running back. The card will shouldn't take a running back. The Titans, the Giants, the Browns. When do you when does the team take Jeremiah Love? Like the Saints and eight that Chiefs at nine people give that's like the area where I start considering it. Yeah. I kind of think the Cowboys are going to do it at 12. And that will be the right spot. He's going to be amazing there. I could see that also the touchdown celebration because he scores and he just does the heart is one of the better ones in a long time. I couldn't be less interested in taking a running back. Now, like, have we not learned? You don't need to do it. I mean, it depends on what time or roster you have. Where? Is that like the difference maker for Dallas? Like is getting a better running back than what Javante? What Javante was really good last year? I'm like, yeah. So I know they just want to recreate the 90s of them. This is teams always have the, they always learn the wrong lesson, Craig. You got Javante Williams on for in free agency. I mean, unless this guy even be John Robinson, who it's like, he has been fun to watch on the Falcons. Has he brought in closer to winning of Super Bowl? Probably not because this is the difference to me between like taking Caleb down to Jeremiah Love is that a safety, I think, can still make other positions better. But a running back is still dependent on five other offensive linemen and make them better. And like a running back can make people better once the floor is really, really high. Like the final piece in the Thanos glove is the running back. It can be the first one. Exactly. And so, but however, the difference is this is why I think the Raiders taking action. Gentileist year was such a mistake because the running back class was crazy deep last year. So like with the Raiders really been better off take, they could have could have took like Armin Membu, who's going to be the right tackle for the Jets now. And they could have took him and then gotten like, Kim Scatiboon, the fourth round. Would you rather do that or take Gentile the first and have a fourth round starting tackle or a fourth round guard? I think the difference is this year is it's not a deep running back class. So if you need one team's might talk themselves into it. I'm not sure where the right spot is. It's weird, but he I do think Jeremiah loves like legit, like awesome, and in a cool way. He's also kind of an inch. He's a quirky guy as well. I think explosiveness on the ground is really important. And so I think I'm less, I'm less apt to be in the camp of running back so matter. It's a terrible movie. If you take a running back in the first round, I just think the, it is very dependent on what's what else is on the roster. You know what I mean? It's just funny though. Like if we go back and look at all the running backs taking the top 10 last half of the years, it's like how many of them actually mean like, say one didn't do anything for the giants. B. Jean Robinson gives I think is the best example. Yeah, but Gibbs is a good example because he was there was like an infrastructure of right. Good offensive and defensive line like built around that was like an entire scheme. They had four first round picks in the offensive line. Jared offers the former number one overall pick in Sam LePort was a first round. Or well, yeah, 34th, whatever. Yeah, it's like you look at Gen T and B. Jean and say one. It's like none of those worked out. I don't know. I guess Gen T could still work out if Mendoza is good. I think that's fair. I mean, look at yeah, I'm going back Naji for the Steelers. No, didn't really make an impact. Well, nice guy. Clyde Edwards, Haleir for the Chiefs. No, that didn't go over one. And they were already good. Clyde over T Higgins, but he was just not good. Yeah. Yeah, don't let your quarterback pick running backs. Josh Jacobs was drafted by the Raiders in the first round. He wasn't good till he left. Well, he was really good, actually, like in his third year, but. But one year I said he'd be bad. Right. That was pretty cool. The Ticket, can I ask you, you compared Miami Edge, Russia, a key message or two Jim Carey playing basketball on the cable guy? This is like the highest compliment I can pay anyone. High Fits, I compare, I've also compared you to Jim Carey in the cable guy. If you haven't seen the cable guy, just imagine the biggest maniac you've ever encountered in your life. He also does a great, he has a great scene where they go to medieval times and like do a fight as nights. And he's like, just an absolute freaking maniac on the field. That is a key message or from Miami, just absolutely a game record. The big problem here is he's 25 years old. Yeah, or he will be 25 by the time it's even start. So this is again, I mean, you go back to the very beginning when High Fits asked me if this draft class sucks. And I said, yes, I think generally speaking, that is the right thing. This draft class isn't very good. Craig, you kind of destroyed my dreams with the receiver group there. But what you told me that none of them are wide receiver ones, I was like, I think it's like, you have to be, you have to bear in mind that like very few classes are going to have multiple superstar receivers. You know what I mean? It is in a thing that you get every single season. So I'm trying to be like realistic. Sure. But I see what your point is in terms of like there is no, I don't think there are any true prototype number ones at receiver. And then with the edge classes, there's question marks to everybody. Ruben Bain, the other Miami edge guy, super short arms. David Bailey, you know, he's a little undersized. Can we talk about David 25 years old Peter Woods is a worm. Like how's that? He's a sandworm. Love him, even though he's a worm. Can we talk about David Bailey? Yeah. So David Bailey, also known as the guy who just absolutely destroyed Oregon. And like, you know, just was everywhere in that Oregon, Texas second. I love him. I think he's like the more traditional edge rushery could be a top five pick. I've never seen anyone that aesthetically that looks like David Bailey, like the way he dresses for games. I have. Well, hand in the dirt defense event. Craig, he wears number 31. Want to start there? Yeah. Red flag. He's in when Texas tick goes all black. So black helmet, black jersey, black under shirt, black pants, black shoes. He wears white socks. Even I know that's kind of weird. Right. You know, gloves. Yeah. Doesn't work gloves. Don't know anything about socks. And I'm like, I would have wore black socks. No gloves. And he never tucks in his shirt, but his pants are always above his knees. You know who he is? He's he's Michael Bennett. He has the exact like style aesthetic of Michael Bennett. Michael Bennett had no, he had negative shoulder pads. His shoulder pads came out to like basically his neck. And he would, he had, he would never tuck it as Jersey. He was just like the best way I could express it as he was sort of slavently looking, even though he was one of the best defect. He like past rushes of his of that era. But yeah, it was it's freaking hilarious. Hi, Fitz, would you say that this is deliberate by David Bailey? Or is he just on so unbothered that he doesn't care what he looks like? I don't know what I want to ask him. It's a huge, it matters. I like, like if part of me is like if he's so, he's kind of like when someone shows up to a golf course and they're wearing sneakers and cargo shorts and like a tucked it, not shirt, not tucked in. They're either the best player there in the world. And Bruins Jersey. Yeah, exactly. Bailey's like, if he's like white socks or the only clean ones in my drawer, what's the big deal? I play football. That's awesome. Yeah, he's like, yeah. But if he's like, I'm curating my look and this is what I find to be interesting, I'm not so sure. Yeah. If the answer is I thought about nothing this week other than taking the soul of the man across this is a snap. I'm like, that's all this is such a great conversation. By the way, because there's, uh, it's always funny when you see guys with seven or eight wrist like sweat bands on their arms. I'm like, I'm at the tomorrow over. I'm like, that's too much too many arm bands. Come on. How long does it take you to get ready for the game? That's fair. If it takes you longer to get ready for the game in the actual minutes in the game, probably. Yeah. I have a, I have a soft spot in my heart for, uh, for Michael Bennett, just like the person and the player. And so like this doesn't bother me whatsoever. I like it actually. Yeah. All right. That felt like a good primer or anything else, DK, that you feel like you need to tell our listeners about the draft this year. Any other thoughts? Hmm. Remember, this is still this week. We're just getting started. Right, right, right, right. No, I think that that, that, that covers it. I think it's a good meat and potatoes draft. There's edge players, defensive tackles, uh, offensive lineman that are very interesting. You can make your team better. But overall, the blue chip talent at the top, not like a, not a top to your class. Well, that delicious pitch, shall we move on to email? Let's do it. Okay. We have to start here, Craig. So people found you on the, um, on all the movies and TV shows you said you couldn't remember being in on the show. I did end up remembering that I, I googled and found out the Emily Dickinson was called Wild Next to the Emily, which is on YouTube. And I found myself in the first like three minutes. You could see me dancing. You just dance around. It's an extra on all these movies and Craig, if you didn't listen to the last episode, it's highly recommended. Craig, which was an extra on all these movies and TV shows couldn't be bothered to know which one what he was doing. Couldn't name anything. So then we found you in a video, a, a game show, sorry, not a video game, a game show called divided and, um, Campbell, you play Craig's intro in that game show. My name is Craig. I'm 22 and I'm a sports writer from Santa Monica, California. I played basketball, baseball, football, volleyball in high school, and I had a four pro one GPA. So not only my competitive, but I got the smarts to back it up. What is this a dating show? That's the worst thing I've ever heard in my life. You know what? What sucks about the stupid shows is like, they're like, you can't be on it unless you're over the top. And I remember when I was like, what auditioning or whatever to do it, they were like, Hey, you're not crazy enough. Like the other people are all nuts and you need to ramp it up. And so like they, they told me they're like, we need you to, like, you, you need to break something to the table. So like you're going to be sports guy. You're going to be like, I got the smarts. Let's do your, because you have to send like a resume in and they asked for like notable things about you or whatever. What was your GPA? What did you study? What are you interested in? What was your GPA? Yeah. And they're like, Oh, you need to talk about how you get a four pro one GPA. And I was obviously not a sports writer. I had no job. I was 22. That's why why else would it be? I'm an extra. I'm like, I'm, I'm extra. I'm an extra things. This is pre-ringer. This was after I moved back from New York after it came to Schmidt. So I was like, in between, I had nothing. I was just like doing whatever. And so they were like, what do you do? And I was like, I'm me and my buddy is like, right, we like, right sports blogs for fun. Now, great. You're a freelance sports writer. I know the first, the first question in the show was something like with 60 appearances on the sports illustrate the cover of sports illustrator. Who's the most? The athlete with the most appearances and you, you were very confident. It was Michael Jordan, Michael Jordan. And you're like, yeah, I mean, I'm the sports writer. You know, I'm the sports guy. It's horrible. They make me turn you into a cartoon. And you have to turn the cocky this up to about 15, which I appreciated. It was funny. Horrible. And I think the woman ruined everything. And we, the woman to my right, I think was the one who was steadfast that she deserved the most money and she ended up tanking it for the team. Did she deserve the most money? No. How much so you guess it's called divided because you had to like agree on it. You basically, the goal was to screw it. It's trivia. And you have to agree on every answer. But the twist at the end is you have to then at the end, you like, how much money you've made. I don't have to agree on who gets what cut of money. You can decide between one person gets 60, 30 and 10%. So obviously, it's like, it doesn't even matter how much money you accrue because by the end, no one's going to agree to take 10% and you end up losing all the money. So by the end, I think I made, I think I made a couple hundred bucks and I didn't receive the check in the mail for nine months. I know there was the other guy, the guy to your left was, I think he won $127, which I thought was just an insulting. For taxes. Yeah. Insultingly, it's not even worth your time. That's probably my lowest point is doing the game show. I'm I'm proud of everything else I've ever done. You hit rock bottom. I was not really got cut out of fast eight. That was the other one. You that was the spawned all this. You were just like, I was in fast and furious, but you were in fast eight. It seems like you get cut out though. Oh, right. From the nuclear football. People are trying to find out the nuclear football scene. I don't know. That's what it's called on YouTube. I don't know what that means. Case of nuclear codes. The president carries around is called the football that you can't fumble. Oh, that's a real. Well, we were in Manhattan standing on the street at like four in the morning on like Broadway. And it cars were just whipping by and we were supposed to have our phones up. So if anybody can find the extended cut, the Snyder cut of fast eight that I'm in. I can't believe they found the game show with some random archive website. I would be impressed. The Emily Dickens thing you can see on YouTube. If somebody could find the the fast eight thing or whatever you show I was in coming back from war or going to I want I want to know what that is. Yeah, I was in some like wool coat was so hot. Terrible. They used to wear wool. I can't believe you ever told us that. Yeah, so good. Craig's lower maxing. Did I do that right? Well, or maxing. It's a fast eight to come. Yeah. We got we asked for people's most embarrassing stories ever. Oh, nice. Couple good. That the hook here was I was a bird shit Kelly. Yeah, bird shit Kelly middle school. Can that be his Kyron today when we start this episode when it says hi Fitz Horlbeck and it's a shit. Shit. Berkshire Kelly. Yeah, also I'm going to change all my fantasy team names to Berkshire Kelly. It's honestly kind of a cool name. Yeah, I don't know why it works. Anything works with Kelly. That's true. Shipwreck Kelly Berkshire Kelly. Shipwreck Kelly. Berkshire Kelly. Well, speaking of nicknames. So this one's from Jeremy. Jeremy. Breakfast with three cups of coffee. Nice. That's my speed right there. When I Jeremy writes when I was in third grade, we won a glass trip to an aquarium. They had a marine biologist talk to us and explain a bunch of fish stuff. Technical term. It's always on field trips. That's when the shit goes on. It is. I was like, this sounds so familiar. You just it's like you're at a zoo. You're at an aquarium. You just know you're a farm. Something's going on. So if he's going to go right. Jeremy writes at one point during the marine biologist presentation at this aquarium. writing writing writing writing writing writing writing writing writing writing writing writing writing writing writing writing writing writing writing writing writing writing writing writing writing writing writing writing writing writing writing writing writing writing writing writing writing writing writing writing writing writing writing writing writing writing writing writing writing writing writing writing writing writing writing writing writing writing writing writing writing writing writing writing writing writing writing writing writing writing writing writing writing writing writing writing writing writing writing writing writing writing writing writing writing writing writing writing writing writing writing writing writing writing writing writing writing writing writing writing writing writing writing writing writing writing writing writing writing writing writing writing writing writing writing writing writing writing writing writing writing writing writing writing writing writing writing writing writing writing writing writing writing writing writing writing writing writing writing writing writing writing writing writing writing writing writing writing writing writing writing writing writing writing writing writing writing writing writing writing writing writing writing writing writing writing writing writing writing writing writing writing writing writing writing writing writing writing writing writing writing writing writing writing writing writing writing writing writing writing writing writing writing writing writing writing writing writing writing writing writing writing writing writing writing writing writing writing writing writing writing writing writing writing writing writing writing writing writing writing writing So Jeremy writes that for the next five years, I was just a woman. Yeah, no, no. No, you're actually that's where you're off. No, no, doctor. I am pissed. So Jeremy writes me five years. I was called testicles. That's cool. That was a terrific name for five years. No, no, no, he doubled down on this. I love that. I love that. Also, they just called him testicles. Hey, testicles. He's like kids are brutal. This email is from John. J. Breakfast was a raspberry fruit bar in a grape, five hour energy. John writes five energy. We're still doing those. I do. I don't understand five hour energy thing. That guy is so rich too. Chef. Fuck. That's the old. That's one of those. You're like, I could have done that. But you didn't. I'm like, you know, fuck. We should just sell an energy drink. John writes my most embarrassing moment. In a varsity basketball game, I scored for the other team. Varsity. That is. That's tough. And John right. Varsity. It was a big game. He put all these details about the game. It was a big game. And John writes it was not a tip in or a deflection. Just forgot where he was. He shot an elbow jumper at the wrong basket and fucking drained it. Oh my god. And I did. I feel like I did that when I was eight. But varsity. So yeah. So John's like like he snagged a defensive rebound and then just went right back up with it. I don't. I feel like he had to get past the ball by a teammate, right? Like that's. But that would be getting past the ball probably from like the baseline from out of bounds. I don't know. I don't know what situation you get the ball instinct took over nature versus nurture. Watch. Hey, he's a hoop or he sees a hoop he shoots. Yeah, exactly. Shoot a bench. I think it was part of it. But he says there were like a few pieces of huge game. There were a few thousand people in there. He said all of them were pointing and laughing at me. Pointing and laughing such a. And a universal like the bread and has a man. John up. Brennan has a man. And he says what made it worse is the refs actually to stop the game because them and the scores didn't know how to score the play. Oh no. Oh, so they all got this. So he hits the basket and then it stops the game and everyone's pointing laughing. What do we do? This has never happened before. What do we do? So then his coach who's like a Bobby Knight S. Card S was just shaking with laughter and trying to not even let him see that it was laughing, which is kind of worse than being yelled at. Oh my. And then he says I'm in a text chain with my high school friends. This incident comes up once every few months. I'm 43 years old. This happened 27 years ago. Once every two months is a lot. 43 years old. I've been 27 years old. This guy's my exact generation and I fucking love this. I can't. I'm a varsity game is tough. Yeah. I can see why that. I can't believe the shot of the world's best. Not like it's tip-ball either. You're not going for the rebound and accidentally tip it in. He shot a jumper at the wrong. Oh no. Oh no. My worst basketball memory was I got absolutely fucking swatted in a game one time and it was like truly pointing and laughing. And I'm like right in front of like the home crowd or whatever, the away team crowd. And they just let me have it. It was tough. That was my junior year. I got a... I've mentioned this before but I got roped into having to play once on the ringer league team because they were out of people and I was the fifth person and if they didn't have five people they would forfeit. But it was a church league or something. So if I cursed you get ejected. If you get ejected you lose the game and if I lost the game lost the season. So suddenly I went from not playing on the season. No pressure. If you yell shit twice the season ends and I that was surreal. I feel like it's not that hard to not curse while playing basketball. I know but when you suddenly like no little the seasons over if you yell fuck is like that's a lot of pressure. That's a lot of pressure. And you but you made it you did all right. I made my first three because they and then you should have put a mouth garden. I should have been a mouth garden. Yeah. No we won. They had a bear and trump S6 foot 10 lawyer. You know I just elbowed in the kid he's got him to curse at me got him ejected. I was like I did my job. Oh damn you like went straight Rodman because the other player ejected. He was like I can see high fits having the Rodman persona on the court. Oh sure. I witnessed it. Absolutely pit bull out there. Do you need complimentary and you heard high vets as footsteps rumbling behind me. I know it's my giant feet my 4 E flat feet that I can't even sell sneakers for. I actually stopped multiple fast breaks because my footsteps that was like the seal you're like a freaking seal runner now. It's not worth the audio version. Yeah. It seems closer than it actually appears. My footsteps are so loud from my cloppy ass. Clothing feet that like Richie Bose that was missing layups because I was 30 feet away but he thought I was right on him like LeBron James. Yeah. Danny footsteps hyphids. Craig do you have any really embarrassing moments? For all your times on movie sets and whatnot? Well I mean I would say that that game show qualified. Oh. Oh the time. Oh yeah yeah yeah. Which one? Sorry. Can't you play it one again? I forget. What exactly did Chris say? He told us GPA was 22 years old. My name is Craig. I'm 22 and I'm a sports writer from Sanemone California. I play basketball baseball football volleyball in high school and at a 4 pro 1 GPA. So not only my competitive but I got the smarts to back it up. Craig is this your high school GPA? Or your college GPA? Not my college GPA. How many years are you allowed to help people in your high school GPA? I can't tell you how much that these producers of this fucking random game show that I don't even know if that made it to air. Were there like stretching to make anything work? I didn't play all those sports in high school. That's another thing you kept from us. But you didn't tell us to last year you had to you had an offer to play volleyball in college. Okay. It was like the smallest division three college of the redwoods. You the fakes fucking college. I don't think you're a redwood. You're like Don Draper. Where'd you go to high school? Oh, he's real evasive. California high school. Damn, such docs do. Yeah. College of the redwoods. Wait, I have a question and we can cut this if Craig doesn't want this out there. Tell the story about the thing that you had to test on the set of Jimmy Schmidt. Oh, I'm happy to. I don't know if you've told this story. I never told this on the show. This is cool. I don't think this is embarrassing. Okay. Good. Well, that's great. I was a PA on season three of Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt, the Tina Fey show with Ellie Kemper and Titus Birch. It's a very funny show. Anyway, John Ham, who's like kind of in that world, played the guy who kidnaps Kimmy Schmidt. So he was occasionally on set. I was a PA. So I was like in the office on set a lot like almost every day. Well, there was a moment when Fred Armason played a character who had to wet his pants in a scene. So they needed to test the P rig and they didn't want to test it on Fred Armason. The P rig. Yeah, the P rig. They didn't want to test it on Fred Armason because you know, it's Fred Armason. So they needed if they found somebody with the same waist as him or close. And I was the 32 waist and they were like, Hey, you. You need to come downstairs and test out this P rig. And I was like, Okay, so I'm down on the actual stage because that's where it was easy to like clean up the liquid that would spill on the floor. So I was I would come down there for it was like a couple days. I would go down for a while and test out this P rig. And it would be like Tina Fey, Fred Armason and one day just John Ham just standing there kind of laughing and just watching me wet myself when they're staring at the wet spot on my garage. And like, that didn't look natural. Let's try that again. And I did that. I was like a day's work for me collected your check. Oh my God. That's so good. So they're all just staring at your crotch. And like, is this belt buckle backwards? Yeah, but it's belted wrong. Yeah, there's like some tube running up my leg. Yeah. Did you have to bring like five pairs of pants every day to like practice? They supply your pants. It wasn't my own pants. They supplied you with like a wardrobe department. P pants, everyone's doing it. Yeah, piss your pants when you're on the set of Kimmy Schmidt. So if I ever be John Ham, I'll tell him that he watched me wet myself multiple times. I would love to know if he could remember that. No shot. What party were we at together in my room? Oh my God. P rig. I like that it's called a P rig. What does a P rig look like? Was it real realistic? Well, it was the little device or whatever like wasn't connected to me, but it was just like a tube that was, you know, the little thing was like whatever, five feet away from me. And then this tube just ran up my leg. We could catheter. Yeah. Amazing. Movie magic, folks. Emails. Emails. Did you see that clip? I think you see that clip. I think you see that clip. I think you see that clip. Mad men is on people watching Mad Men now because it's on Netflix or is it on HBO? I don't even know where to find it, but I'm watching Mad Men right now. I think it was on HBO. There was such air. There was a couple days where it was up where they uploaded the wrong version of a certain episode. It was like not the final version. And so there's a scene where John Slattery's character has it throws up from eating like he had like three martinis and a bunch of oysters at lunch or something and they go back up and he throws up in a meeting. And the actual cut that's on HBO is you can see a guy on his knees standing behind John Slattery with like this like puke machine. And he's like standing there like a bag of it and the tube is like running up John Slattery's shirt and that's just in the cut of Mad Men. This is like the watch that episode. The Starbucks coffee cup in in Game of Thrones or whatever. Yeah, except that was like real. That was the final version. That was oh my god. Can't just set a picture of this. You can just see him pumping the. Oh, that's hilarious. And they've even got vomit hose. Wow. Movie magic. Yeah. How did that get past the editors? I never understand. Honestly, I don't think I this might have been the version I watched that I didn't notice because there's so much puke that comes out. You just kind of instinctively like oh, I got to look away. Also God, dude, I should I don't want any Mad Men spoilers, but I'm having a great time watching Mad Men. We just watched the suitcase last night. Great show. Thanks for my favorite drama. It's it's so good. All right. One more for again out of here speaking of people drinking. This one's Ryan. Our bone. Craig asked for drinks. People don't drink anymore. Ryan writes breakfast two to three cups of black coffee, which is just it's funny. We're really going to do. Yeah. Ryan's email is just decay. Tell them about Mickey's grenades. Oh, yeah, Mickey's Mickey's is great. People still drink Mickey's Mickey's like 40s. I've never heard of Mickey's. I don't know if it's malt liquor or just beer in a 40 ounce thing, but I've had a Mickey's 40 Mickey's that used to make. I don't maybe they don't make these anymore, but it's like a little it's like a half bottle of Mickey's and it looked like a grenade. And it's just like a cute little, you know, it's like a session beer that you can have at a party. And they're they're pretty small. Ryan says that it is my like, like, like, like, like puzzles like alcoholic snapple facts on the cap. That's kind of fun. Mickey's Mickey's was a foundational beer in I want to say like the early odds. Everyone was drinking Mickey's. You go to like a gas station and get Mickey's. It's harder to find out. I've never heard of this or seen it. I'm looking at it now. I've never seen this. Hi, if it's when I turned 40, skipping got me a Mickey's 40 out. Yeah. Yeah. That's the thing I think about a lot of Zima. Zima walked so that Mike's hard could run. Oh, yeah. So Mike law could fly. Was it was it X I M A X I N A? What was it a Z? No Z I M A. Oh, Z I M A. Zima. Zima. You guys see your talk your gen X is too toxic masculinity to like make Zima work, but the reality is now Zima's punctured through a Gen Z. Yeah, we did have too much toxic masculinity back then. This from Robert our bone. We used to drink sidewalk slams which involve drinking half of a malt liquor 40 ounce akin to a brass monkey and then filling the bottle up with four loco back to the top. And then we would duct tape them both to our hands and play Edward 40 hands with them. It was after you drink half. So it was Edward 40 hands with a four loco animal liquor which generally resulted with someone peeing their pants before they could finish the 80 ounces of liquid of liquid. Which we got more emails about this that I'm comfortable. We were built diff back then you guys. Yeah, we were just new generation doesn't even like to drink anymore. Dude Edward, it's not our generation. It's going below us. Right. Oh man. It's Calvin's generation. Calvin hasn't had a drink yet I bet. He's sober as a judge. Yeah. Well, every generation thinks that even again rewatching madman and it's like they're like, yeah, I'm done drinking now but they drink beer. Right. Or they're like, I'm going to slow it down. I'm going to pivot to clear liquor. Right. Right. Healthy. It's healthy for you. Okay. Sidewalks slam. It's hurting the 40 with half of a four loco. Did you guys ever do brass monkeys? No. I don't actually know what that is. I just read it. It's orange juice in 40 ounce. No, why? Because it tastes better. Oh, I mean, I think I don't know why else, but that was why I would do it. I like the taste of orange juice. It's like a mixed hero and I like it. I like the taste of it. All right. Emails that ring your face, football genius. I want memorable. I want memorable best man speeches. Any other original four loco stories? Draft questions, super old questions. Emails for your fantasy football team of calm. Thank you, Dick. I think you Craig. Thank you. Cam, thank you Carlos. Thank you, Kai. I think you Austin. Thank you, Urban for listening. Thank you, Lord. Lord. Thank you, Tina Turner. Okay. I'll have the Ike and Tina Tuna. Planner platter. This does not bow to well. She walks into blimps. Craig is referencing a rest of the development for the record. Dude, I'm reading about locos. They are a remarkable beverage. They are something. You know, we always look back at 80s movies and like what were they doing in the 80s? The four loco feels like an 80s drink. I can't believe that we were drinking that. They changed the recipe in 2010, which makes sense. I mean, I went to high school, oh, eight to 12. So I think right around that switch, I think I had a couple before they changed it. Dude, 14% alcohol. They are hearty. Which is a bottle of wine. They are 23 and a half ounces of God. I don't know why they don't they were the size of a regular soda can. They were 24 ounces, 14% alcohol. They had caffeine, touring and Gorana in them. Oh my God. And you're drinking like the fruit punch flavor, just getting absolutely bombed. Absolutely bombed. They were produced by fusion projects was the name of the company. They probably also make like missiles metal. Did you guys in your day before loco? They were notorious for its original blackout in a can for you. Right. They had to make it illegal because it was like they people would go to these parties and they would find kids out on the front lawn like totally passed out. We have emails of people who are like from all over one, particularly memorable one about someone who went to school at Iowa, which I guess I was sitting at that point was the number one alcohol consumption in America. They were like, oh yeah. They did the Edward 40 hands with the four locus. And he was like the first time apparently he was like I was told that I had shoved a blind man in line for bathroom in a wheelchair. And the second time that he woke up in someone else's house and it turned out to be like a neighbor like a 60 year old man is like, what are you doing in my house? And then he was like, I stopped drinking for a loco. But there's like, I got a concern about emails about people saying this thing. Old English, what I think the original Edward 40 hands beer and malt liquor is like 6%. This is 14% what wine is. That's like here drinking a bottle of wine. A pop with caffeine and a ton of sugar. Bottle of wine was a monster and creatine so you can get all jacked up. Craig went into your well, I was doing your guys's day. Did you do drop shots? Is that still a thing that people do? It's a drop shot. Like, you know, like a touchdown or a you're dropping. What are they called? We just shotgun beers. I guess didn't do drop shots in your life. I don't even know what you're talking about. You drop a shot in a drink. Oh, like a Yeager bomb. Yeah, bomb is what I was thinking of. Yeah, we did that. You guys didn't call them drop shots. No, that's a better name actually. Okay. Drop shot is good. We used to do, I want to see if anyone was my contemporary at Dante's in Seattle in the U District back in probably 2005 to 2007 or so. Doug Paul them is there. Yeah, he was there. They had like DJ they had straight up dance board. This was a like a tavern vibe. It was like a I don't even know how to call it. It was the weirdest part I've ever been to and it had a it was like a shallay vibe decoration like you're in Poveria or something. But then they had a dance floor and everybody's in there doing shots and I remember one day it's closed now it burned down, which is very apt. We knew the bartenders and we ordered a pitcher of Yeager bomb and they gave it to us. So that was that was the the high point, I think of my Dante's experience. You know, we talk about how I have this past life and all these crazy stories. DK does as well. We could take into DK's past and learn a lot about a man that no one knew. I just want to know if anyone who's listening was at Dante's in that era. Okay, he was like back packing all over the world in his 20s. I got a lot of stories in the whole. DK was in fast in the Furious 5. Yeah, yeah. Craig, my version of that is like I went back packing. Where'd you go? I don't know. It's not what you do there. I don't know. I can't remember. Yeah, how long you got six months? Cool. Can you tell me one thing? Dude, half the time when you book these like stupid extra rolls, they don't even tell you the name of the project because when they film it, they have code names. So you genuinely don't even know what you're doing. I know. Vind Diesel's driving a Ferrari by you. I know it. Okay, that one I knew. But the TV show about where we're whatever, I don't know. It has some fake name and then it comes out in a year and it's not like they're sending me an email saying, hey, congrats to your episodes out. That's fair. That's fair. Goodbye, everyone. Must be 21 plus in present and select states for Kansas in affiliation with Kansas, Stark, Casino or 18 plus in present in DC, Kentucky or Wyoming. Gambling problem. Call 1-800-Gamber or visit rg-help.com. Call 1-888-789777 or visit ccpg.org slash chat in Connecticut or visit mdgamblinghelp.org in Maryland. Hope is here. Visit gamblinghelplinema.org or call 800-327-5050 for 24-7 support in Massachusetts or call 1-877-8 hope-NY or text hope-NY in New York.