American Cult Story

So are we supposed to start the podcast? Ready? One, two, three. Patriots, gay triots, they triots, black triots, brown triots, triple trumpers can do what? Fuck off! Welcome to America's Top DEI Podcast. Pumps, what have you had it with? What I've had it with is when you're in line and you have to check out, and there's no option for self-checkout, and you have one item. and the person right in front of you has a cart full. Yeah. I always say, go ahead. You only have one item. It's going to be a nothing burger. I sat behind a guy yesterday that not only had a full cart, saw that I only had one thing. He yick-yacked for, I would say, a good three or four minutes about the weather, how it's hot in the afternoon, but it's cold in the morning. And I was just, it was all I could do not to just say, all I want to do is buy one fucking thing. Just let me go. So I've had it with people. I don't know if it's a lack of self-awareness. Maybe I'm just so extra polite and gracious that I expect that from other people. But I've had it when people have a ton of shit to buy and they don't let the person that just has one thing to buy in front of them. That's my habit. That's a really good one. And I've experienced that multiple times and it's always a man. Always. I don't want to be a man hater. We have a lot of men that watch our show. We're not talking about you guys, of course. Mine's kind of similar. I've had it with people that cut in line. Yeah. And this has happened to me a lot lately at airports, boarding, right? And it's always a couple of guys, little pink arms that kind of like mosey up there and they're just, you know, hot pressed. And I always go like this, I go, by all means, because they're kind of like angling to get in front of me. And it's always some guys. And I'm just like, go ahead, by all means, jump ahead of me. We're all getting on this bird and it's all going, we're all going to have to get off of this bird. Like, you know, my thing is I, I want to be off of the plane. When it's over, I want it over. but I'm never in like a super hyper fixated rush to get on it. I want to get on. I want to go with my boarding group, but I've been cut in line recently by a few men. And I just, I guess I, there's a component of me that still values chivalry, like men that hold the door open for people that knows, no, you go ahead. I like that, that part of just one gender acknowledging another gender, not in a power play, not in like a women are weak and they should go first. It's just something of a traditional thing. And I'm not that traditional of a person that I appreciate. And I think these little pink arms need to be more gracious and say, oh, no, you go ahead. But when I'm standing there saying, by all means, go ahead. And they're like, and they have their little dorky backpack and just steamroll beyond me. I've had it. Well, and here's the deal on the plane. And it's, I feel like it's always in an airport, but it's like, we're all going to the same place. We all have an assigned seat. Like, I don't know what your hurry is. Here's the thing. I just noticed today. It's weird that you said that about chivalry because I was on an elevator and it dinged and we were getting out and it was just me and a man in there. And he's like, go ahead. And I was just like, isn't that nice? I just, I appreciated that. And maybe it's our age. I don't know. but I just found it. I think my boys do that. I think my boys, oh, for sure. You know, never walk, never open a door and you go first when there's a woman behind you, especially. But I also tell them, even if it's, if you get to the door and somebody's behind you, and if it's a male, let it forward. Like, especially if it's a woman, but I also say, if there's a guy coming right behind you and you've grabbed the door, just be a gentleman to both genders and let the person go ahead, do the pay it forward kind of thing, put that out into the universe that you are, you know, not entitled, not extra, not better that you're a helper because there's takers and helpers around us. There's people that take, take, take, and then there's people that help. And so these little cutters and the guy that was bogarting the checkout line, those are takers. Takers. They're just taking. Yeah. Always taking. Yep. All right. welcome to I've had it. I'm Jennifer. I'm Angie HBIC. Actually, you know what we haven't said in a long time, Princess Diana of podcasting. That was in the OG days. Yeah, that was good. All right. Kylie is here. Let's check in with Kylie. There she is. She looks very cute today. I like your little tiny. Thank you. As a lesbian, I have to say, I also pay attention and really appreciate a man holding the door open. I kind of expect it. I don't know if it's like where we're from. I don't know what it is, but I know if they don't. And I think they're a huge asshole. So let me tell you what, let me tell you what I've experienced a lot lately, since I moved to New York. So I'm a door holder. I'm a helper. So I get to the door of like, say my gym and I opened the door. And then when I noticed there's somebody behind me, it's a guy. And normally, like if my kids did this, I would fucking pinch the shit out of their arm. I would want to produce a bruise. They just go right on in and said, no, no, no, by all means, like you go first. And they just, they just let me hold the door for them. They let me carry the water. I've counted like five so far. You've got a tracker. I'm doing some research. I'm conducting research on this subject, but it just reminds me the next time I see my sons, I'm going to really, I might even FaceTime them tonight. And just, I think I might do a preemptive ash chew. Yeah. Just like, I don't know if you do this or not. You know, everybody's had their mom that I don't know if you do this or not, but I'm going to go ahead and chew your ass for it anyway. Here's what you've got to do. I like a preemptive ash chew. Now, let me ask you this, Jennifer, when you chew ass for your kids, like if I chew one of my kids ass, I just make a clean sweep. Whether I'm mad at the other ones, I just bring everybody in and I pick something like if I'm in the ash chewing mood. So like if you get mad at one, do you just go ahead and spray on the other one or do you isolate it? No, I don't. I don't spray it because I save my anger for the big stuff. So they know like, it's not like, oh, mom's unhinged all the time. Blah, blah, blah. It's rare. It's rare that I'm sitting them down and chewing their ass. It has to be something big, anything else I can handle with a conversation calmly, you know, reasonably. but when one of them is in trouble i will go hard relentless annoying like they're probably sitting there going shut the fuck up so much so that the other child so enjoys it like if the younger one's in trouble the older one will call and go so like how how long did you chew him out for it's like that sibling rivalry of joy where you know like because you've been on the receiving end of it, but you're not. And you're just, you're elated with joy that your sibling is going through just a torturous experience with the mother that you share. So no, I don't, I think I've looped them in one time together. And I remember, I think it was the older one and he was like, I didn't do anything wrong. And I was like, fair. You're exactly right. And I think that was the only time I did it because I really want my kids to know that when I'm unhinged, it's warranted. yeah, I, I, I'm pretty much like, if I start with one, I just get all of them, take them all down, take them all down just for shits and giggles. It's, it's, it's, uh, there's something, I don't know. My boys are so well receptive. Like they immediately tuck their tail between their legs. There's apology, there's contrition. They don't back talk at all. And so I've been very fortunate in that regard, but, um, you know, it's kind of, it's kind of fun sometimes cheer your kids out yeah i agree okay i've got some reviews today a few gentlemen and a few assholes the first one five stars the cool kid writes my husband named his coffee grinder little jennifer you need to get merch I've got to market that grinders. I've got everybody always asked me, I go on these podcasts, like, where do you come up with these next names? I'm like, I didn't plan it beforehand. It just comes out when we're talking, we speak in extemporaneously on both podcasts. And I just, it just comes to me like the cankles, McTaco tits and all that shit. Sorry guys. I'm taking off my shoes. Listener. All right, go ahead, Kylie. This one is five stars titled. Can I get an amen and artisan partisan rights. This is exactly what we need in Trump's America 2.0, especially in the year of our Lord, 2020, 2026. Why would you do it so much now when we're streaming, like for I hip news? And I can see, even though Kylie's not on the stage with us, I can see her backstage and you do it. And I'll just kind of chuckle. And I look down and Kylie's just sitting there like bouncing up and down laughing. I don't even know I do it. And here's the thing. You brought it to my attention and now I stumble over it and make it 50,000 times worse. I have been doing that since I brought it to your attention. I too have questioned. So it's affecting me. But there's a lot of stuff that I like mispronounce. I've noticed it. I don't know if it's contagious. And I'm sorry, but I've noticed I've had some verbal tics lately of stuff that I'm like, oh my God, pumps of verbal tics are infecting her maybe I've had it the whole time and I was just a sanctimonious pointed out in pumps but didn't ever acknowledge it but I'm trying to be more aware I will throw shit out really casually without even knowing it and people will be like what the fuck did you just say I think I said um what's your crazier than a shithouse rat yeah I just came out of my mouth in a conversation I was like I have absorbed all of your sayings yeah okay I've got one last review This is one star titled, You Can't Fix Stupid. And Thane writes, You cannot help people who refuse it. Just keep moving. Although in this case, send an exorcist to the show if you know one. You can't fix stupid. You can't fix stupid. Here's the thing. I understand, like, it's a really good review. But the thing is, like, there's been no effort in trying to fix this. each and every episode is an affirmation of our stupidity like there's no desire to go okay today we're going to try to undumb ourselves every day we get on and go we've got the wind at our backs let's fucking go i'd argue part of our stupid has made the podcast popular to be said okay i've got a couple news stories for you guys this one's rather alarming to me nearly a third of kids can't use books when starting school and they try to swipe them like phones. And it goes on to say that they're also trying to tap them and swipe them. That's disturbing. That's really sad. I don't, I mean, but now like textbooks and stuff are pretty much online. Like we would have to go to the bookstore and buy a physical book, but now they can just download them to their iPads or computers or whatever. But I've said on this podcast before, my kids cannot tell time, like on a clock. They've never had to say like, it's five minutes past two on a clock. They just look at their phone. So this doesn't really surprise me. Yeah, that's, that's, that's really sad. I, when my kids were little and they of course are Zoomers, but we read books every night, like physical books. I crawled in bed with them and we read books. I'm like, good night, moon, all that shit. I still have memorized because I would have to read the same books over and over and over again. Yeah. The cell phones are such a problem. Some other countries are starting to ban social media age 16. I think Spain, France, Australia. And I think that's a really great thing to do. When my kids were, they went to one particular school from preschool to eighth grade and there was total phone ban. If they saw you at school with your phone, it got put into a safe at the front desk and only your parents could come pick it up after school, like a total phone ban. And they made great grades. They were super into like more creative stuff. Like my youngest son would always sit at our kitchen island. He was drawing things, painting things, just like uber, uber, uber creative. And then by the time they went to high school, the high school had like given up and it's a different school than the other one. And you could have your funds everywhere. And I asked my kids, like, is it better without or with funds? And they're like a million times better without, but then when everybody has one, Right. Then you don't want to be the one that's left out. But the overall schooling experience, learning experience is a million times better without. No, I agree with that. I just have to interrupt to throw back to a past episode where I signed up to be a local candidate for the Democratic Party. Oh, yeah. Yeah, I've gotten seven texts. They're going to send me a packet on what I need to know to get started. Wait, for real? I don't know what this is. Did you respond to the text? Yeah, I responded to the text and said, I'll do it. I'll do it. What did they say? Now they're just sending me like, hey, it's Alex with this thing. And we're ready to send you like what it's going to take, the description of what's involved, all of this stuff. So. Kylie. I'm running for office. Remember that girl that was the commenter, though? Remember her? she was like she hated us but she gave us five stars i want to run her yeah i want to be her campaign manager the one that said we weren't as unattractive as she thought we were going to be yeah love it's my favorite review of all time yeah that's a good one because it was a hate review and she really ripped us and it was almost like she's like so i'm on the five and so i had to go see what it was all about it really suck but I forgot what her name was it Karen or something I don know I loved it was something like that Kathy It was a very thoughtful review I loved it Okay I got one more news story I think this could come in handy in America with MAGA these days. It says in Japan, you can rent actors to pose as your family or friends for social events. In Japan, a growing industry offers rented family members, actors who take on roles like spouses, parents, children, or coworkers. This service isn't about trickery, but rather coping with social pressure. People turn to these actors to sidestep stigma, impress employers, or fill emotional voids. For a fee, you can have an ideal family portrait, a supportive partner at a wedding, or a caring parent at graduation, all carefully staged to feel genuine. Hmm. You see movies about this all the time. Like somebody's going back to a wedding or something and they're not dating anybody and they rent somebody and then they fall madly in love. With the person they rented? With the person they rented. So I don't know. Like if that makes you feel better, like whatever, I guess. I mean, here's the thing. I wish that these articles were being written about our country right now. Like I envy Japan that they're writing like here's, you know, their government so stable that here's what people are doing there. You know, I haven't heard any headlines about Japanese people being shot by their government in the streets for protesting. And so I envy this type of story to be something that could be written about Americans. And instead, it's written that, you know, we don't have health care and we're the richest country on the planet. We have a complete fucking moron as president. I mean, a completely embarrassing fat, out of shape, horrible makeup, dementia, just total piece of shit. Not even smart. No. President, con man, you know, and it's just, I envy that that's an option in a country where you're so stable. It's like, you know what? I kind of want to rent a person for this event. And you know what? Here's the thing, too. I am oftentimes disappointed in the people that I know when I go to social events because we plan together Irish exits and we're in lockstep on the way there. It is agreed. It is agreed upon. And oftentimes my date for these things is even more enthusiastic about the Irish exit than I am, even more boundaries drawn. Like, I'm going to tell you what, when I'm ready to go, you better be ready to go. And I mean it. And I'm like, I'm in, I mean, the minute I will Irish exit the fuck out of this thing. Lo and behold, this really close personal friend of mine that I have a business relationship with as well. We go to these events together and she says, okay, let's go. And I go, okay. And then I'm at the door and I'm outside freezing my tits off in the cold and somebody's walking around saying goodbye to everybody, which is not a part of the Irish exit. And then we're knee deep into stuff. So I understand I would do this. I would rent a person. I could say, when I say it's time to go, it's time to go. I'm paying you. You have to go. And they would say, I had to got the go. And I would be like, yes. And that would be it. And so for multiple reasons, I won't name the person that I'm talking about, but it happens a lot. Kylie, have I ever told you about it? You have. Yeah. I'm getting better. I'm probably not. I'm probably not. I mean, I'm probably just, you know, blowing smoke up my own ass because I'm really bad at it. I'm bad at it. And I want to be good at it. You do. You do. Cause we start out the night and you're like, listen up, Jenny. I mean, it, I, it's 7 45. We are leaving. Do not go talk to extra people. No goodbyes. It's we're going to the bathroom. We're getting the fuck out. And I'm like, Hey, I'm not the problem here. I'm on board. You're like, no, I'm serious this time. And then it happens. And then I keep kind of like looking around, you know, around the door. And each time you're at a different person. I think one time I actually just came and like grabbed your arm. Like we have to go because I immediately apologize. Like, I'm so sorry. I keep doing this. I hope that I did in that moment to me. Yeah. Like, no, you apologize to the people you were talking to. Well, yeah, but that I didn't know. It was a great idea. I like, I like where your head's at though. No, but I mean, like we make this plan every time I fuck it up every time. It's like, I can't even help it. You can't, I can't. So I'm going to go ahead and just, here's the thing. Here's the thing that I've, I have a new, I've had it. I have had it with pumps acting like she's had it with small talk. It is a bald face lie that is affirmed all of the time. You know, it's true. We can't forget when here's the thing I've had it with small talk, but that doesn't mean I'm not good at it. Like I have this event I have to go to in two weeks and I'm already dreading it because I know it's just going to be a small talk fast. Like I just, when I said I'd go, I was like, I just fucking hate small talk. I, and here's, you'll be the bell of the ball. I will be the bell of the ball. I'll be the smallest. I'll be the last one to leave. I don't know why I torture myself. Why can't I just say I fucking admit it. Just come out of the closet, come out of the closet, quit getting on our podcast and telling our listener that you've had it with small talk. I'm the worst. Because I really do hate it. I hate it. We can't forget when we went to the three of us were at a lunch. We were so tired. We had been traveling and we said, let's make this, let's make it really, really quick. Whose idea was it to make it quick? It was Angela Dawn's. The waiter comes over, mentions one thing about his family. And she said, oh my God, start from the beginning about your father-in-law and tell us everything while he's standing there and we're trying to eat. And he did. Yeah. Yeah. Way to sit there through that. No, it's true. I knew I was so hoping I thought I'd got out scot-free with that story. Cause that is the worst example. That is the most egregious example of me doing that because we were dead to the world tired. But Kylie, thanks. Thanks for bringing that up. I was this close. Nope. Yeah, it's bad. I don't know what to say. It's bad. Here's what it is. It wouldn't be a thing if you didn't lie and say that you hate small talk. Here's the thing. I do hate it, but that doesn't mean I don't do it. I don't, I kind of think you kind of don't hate it. You think I like it? I do. I just don't know it. That's the problem. Therein lies the problem. I think if you just woke up, like tomorrow morning, it'd be a great time to do it. You woke up and you looked in the mirror and you're like, hi, I'm Angela Dawn and I love small talk. Try that. And then let's go to another event and then I will take the bull by the horns and I'll say, listen, I know you love small talk. I know that when you see a person and you're not even remotely interested in their kids or their husband, you find yourself compulsively talking to them. But I don't want you to do that. I want you to leave when I need to leave because I hate small talk. And let's see if that works once you come out of denial. Maybe like the reverse psychology. That's what I'm thinking. Yeah, it might. Because then I'd be trying to prove it. Okay, that's a good tip. This podcast is supported by FX's love story, John F. Kennedy Jr. and Carolyn Bissett, the new limited series from executive producer Ryan Murphy. It explores the complex courtship of the iconic couple considered to be American royalty, whose love story captured the attention of the nation. Their fairytale romance would unfold in front of the public eye, where their private love would also become a national obsession. FX's love story, John F. Kennedy Jr. and Carolyn Bissett. Watch now on FX, Hulu, and Hulu on Disney Plus for bundle subscribers. All right, listener, when Pumps and I started this podcast a little over three years ago, we absolutely had no idea what we were doing as it pertained to the business, setting up merch stores, setting up a structure of the business. And that's why Shopify was invaluable. 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This is Gay Tritron, HGIC, head gay in charge of the great city of Syracuse. And I've had it with proud stupidity. I was in a conversation the other day, and this person says, why did God make the world so difficult? And I go, well, God didn't make the world. And the relentless denial of easily verifiable information begins. It gets to a point where I'm explaining in very simple terms what evolution is. and this with a full chest dares to utter well i've never seen a baby monkey become a human and start working what what in the bible thumping dna rewriting chromosomal rearranging metamorphosis is that come the fuck on and i was like you know what i might as well call sweden and demand my noble prize because i think i might have discovered the first specimen this is breathing walking and very loudly talking proof that the only thing that has ever trickled down is stupidity. Jennifer's right. Again, I love you guys. I need a matcha latte after this. Love you. Number one, love the accent. Love. Number two, I have a fondness for Syracuse. It's where my oldest son went to college. Um, number three, a hundred percent, the trickle down stupidity is such a problem. And my thing about evolution, I just had this conversation with somebody the other day, all of us that acknowledge that evolution is real, we can no longer use the language of, I believe in evolution because you don't have to quantify and say, I believe in gravity. You don't have to say that. Evolution is not up for debate. Evolution exists whether you believe in it or not. That's the thing. Like people can sit there and try to disprove it and do their own research. But evolution is proven whether you believe in it or not. And so we need to, number one, keep calling out the stupid people for this. But number two, I've been in a conversation with somebody about the monkey thing before too. and it's it's insane that they their fundamental misunderstanding of evolution and how it how many thousands slash millions of years it takes for these variants to happen but indeed they do happen yeah and i i kind of felt sorry for you when he was talking because you you have been wrong with me oh you know what i mean like so i kind of monkey conversation was with you right but i'm just saying, I get it. And you just the the ability to shut off critically thinking and the cognitive dissonance that I grew up in. It really is mind blowing. It really is. Because you know, what's hilarious? What? So we had this conversation. And it was you and your daughter. and I think we were talking about chimpanzees. And I said, you know, it's amazing when you see them at the zoo and you can get right up on the glass with them. You can see how human they are. The little, the wrinkles, like in the index finger, they have the same kind of wrinkles. And I said that to you and Emily and you go, Oh my God. No. Every time I see a monkey, I hundred percent. No, we didn't evolve from them. And that that's bullshit. And you and Emily, Pops just like rolled your eyes at me like I was a crazy person. You know, what's interesting about that conversation is I remember that. And I knew when I was saying it, I was lying to myself. You did? Yes. I knew. I remember that conversation very vividly. I remember too. Was it the house that you live in right now? Because it was, I think I knew that it was bullshit, but I just felt like I had to say it. You had the script. That's fascinating. Isn't that funny? Because it wasn't that long ago. It was maybe like seven years ago. Because I think you told me you had kind of deconstructed your faith probably right around COVID, like five, six years ago. 2019. It was after my dad died and he died in August of 2019. But you waited a while before you told me. No. You didn't tell anybody and your therapist told you to tell somebody. So of course you called the atheist. Right? Yeah. But I think that was 20. I know exactly where I was when you did it. I was in my office building. I didn't buy it until August of 2020. So you were a closet atheist for two years. Yeah, because it was just it sounds. No, it doesn't sound ridiculous. Because people that when it's something that like that was how my whole life was brought. I mean, I must have had So much grief. I had so much grief and I felt like, first of all, and it's kind of embarrassing. No, don't be embarrassed. You know what I mean? Not really. That's not the number one, but it's, it's just, there was so much grief and there was so much separation from you know people in my family that I realized was there So so even though it in my head intellectually it was a pretty easy thing in terms of verbalizing it That took a lot longer I'm just really, this is the first time you've ever told me about the monkey conversation. I kind of forgot about it until you said that. Right. But I'd forgotten about it too, till our caller, our gay triad told us, and then it triggered that. But what's so interesting about that is we'd had a lot of conversations prior to that you and me where I was, you know, in the scientific data-based world of it and your worldview was biblical and you'd roll your eyes at me and I'd kind of roll my eyes at you and then would realize, okay, we can't talk about this and we'd move on. It's interesting timing wise, because I bet that was around 2018, 2019 when we had that conversation. it's interesting that you remember that and that you knew like this is fucking bullshit right like i'm living a lie kind of that's wild yeah because yeah i remember it really distinctly that's a really good caller that's a really good and that's a good reveal from you pumps like tell our listener about the grief because my mom when you first called me and told me you weren't religious anymore first of all i fell over because you were the most religious friend i had i couldn't believe it So of course I called my mother immediately. I'm like, Mom, you're never going to believe this. Angie just called me and told me she didn't believe in God or heaven. And my mom was so compassionate and she'd read all about this. She said, well, you know, Jennifer, she's going to have a lot of grief because it's like a death of something she had in her life that was ubiquitous from birth on. And it's a whole process, like the grieving process that she's going to go through with this. She was right. So tell us about the grief. First of all, you know, obviously being indoctrinated religiously, it's really easy for me to, you know, put cognitive dissonance and denial and put stuff in boxes and compartmentalize and all that. So that's how you kind of do it for a while. And then it's like the rug gets pulled out from under you because it's like everything birth to, you know, decades into my life, that was something that I leaned on and that was supposed to fix everything. And so, and then I think what more than that, because I had begun to realize, you know, before I started really deconstructing my faith, I realized that prayer was not a dependable coping mechanism. Like I had realized that, but I think what it is for me anyway. It was, you know, kind of like you're walking in a field and you don't know where you're going. Like you're in a labyrinth, you don't know where to go and you're not sure you'll get out, but you you've got to try. And then I also think for me, the biggest thing was that was something that was so ingrained in my family. That's what bound our family together. And it was so prevalent every day, all of those things. And I knew that it would put distance between myself and my family. So it was guilt for that and grief for that. But then it was a choice that I, I have to do this for me. Like I've done this for you forever and ever and ever. And I've been a good foot soldier, done everything I was supposed to do. And, but I kind of, I mean, I hate, I don't want to be like, oh, I had to choose me kind of cliche, but it was just like, but I have to choose this for me. And, and, and there's just a lot of grief about the family thing. because by the time I actually started deconstructing it, I knew a lot of it was bullshit, right? It was the family ties. I think the most. Well, and I mean, this is my observation and you can confirm that if this is true or not, but my observation of your family ties, I've never seen a human being more scared of their family. The terror in which you felt towards being a certain scripted way that they wanted you to be. I'd never seen an adult so terrified of their parents. I mean, this is well into your forties. And I was like, you're a grown ass woman. Why are you so scared of your mom and dad? But it was a sheer, like, you know, like junior high. Like shaking inside my body. Yes. My mom caught me smoking. I came to your house and you gave me a hug and you're like, you're physically shaking the rat. I've never, I've never seen anything like it. So that would have to exacerbate the fear because the fear-based part of your religion was very pronounced. It was a very fear-based heaven, hell reward thing. Yeah. But you know what I have to say now, knowing you for all of those years, religious and not religious now, you're a lot less scared. I think your feet are so much more firmly planted when you're not putting all that magical thinking in and when you're critically thinking and you can like look at consequences and here's the deal and I'm accountable. And I think I feel a lot better internally. I'm so glad. I'm so glad. So yeah, Jennifer was my first call, but I was crying. You were, I felt, and I remember, I, that's why I called my mom immediately because I knew, I mean, like that your, I mean, your identity was your faith. I mean, it was very much your identity and I was shocked. Oh my God, listener. I mean, you could have blown me over with a feather. She was like, I've got something to tell you. And we've had many phone calls throughout our friendship where it's like, I have something major to tell you. And they've all been major things. Right. Never in 25 million years would I think I would have ever gotten a call from Angela of dawn. She was an atheist. Like I cannot, she was relentless about inviting me to Bible study in the first part of our friendship. And I finally had to be like, stop inviting me. I'm never going to go. She's like, okay, well, we just, we want you to be on our team. And I was like, don't want to be. And then we were able to agree to disagree and went on. Oh God, the recruiting. but I just never, I was so shocked. I was so shocked. And I know to this day. And what's funny is we weren't, we were friends, obviously we weren't day to day to day. Like we have been, you know, listener, you go through phases with friends where you talk five times a day and then you go through a few months where you only talk three or four, especially you've been friends 25 years. We weren't day to day talking. So when she called me and she said she had major news, I knew it was major news. I mean, I thought it was like, I mean, I don't know what I thought it was like, you know, somebody was pregnant, you know, somebody got knocked up, something major. I just never, ever, ever thought that ever. Was your mouth hanging open? Cause we weren't together. I was. No, I remember exactly where I was. I remember exactly what I was looking at. And I mean, I had to call my mom because my mother had predicted when we were first friends, cause you were so religious and I was so not religious. And the thing that bugged me about you was your religiosity. Like I talked to mom, I really like her, but she's a total Bible thumper. Like she always wanted me to go to Bible study. Her family's kind of nuts. They're always like, praise Jesus. God is good when I'm just over there. They're like really, really, really religious. And my mother would say, well, you know, Jennifer, as you age, people tend to get more religious, not less. So I imagine your friendship will, you know, recede as you get older. And it was the opposite. Like I never thought, but I always knew like one thing I really liked about hanging out with you is you were very smart. And I always believed that you were a critical thinker. And those of you that are listening that happen to be religious right now, that's not what Angie was. Angie was the earth is 5,000 years old, evolution, there's no such thing, spiritual warfare devils and angels now she wasn't an annoying she came up a lot in our friendship because she was worried about my soul um but i was able to draw boundaries with her and when push came to shove in her life when she had serious serious problems it was me the atheist that she reached out to because she knew that it was a judgment-free zone right with me as opposed to the religious friends. And I will say this, and this is absolutely true, which is why I know that just having little micro conversations with people changes people. I remember we had talks about like how old Moses was and Noah, it was Noah. Right. I mean, we would have those little, and I would be like, I would defend it. You know, it's just little cuts that I would like later think about. So I know when you have even the smallest conversation, you can kind of, you know, just a little bit of reality. And if it makes people think, I mean, and here's the thing I'm going to say, like there's no desire on my part, or I don't think I'm pumped to convert uber religious people to not being religious. That's not the point of this conversation. Where this intersects with what's happening nationally right now is the people who have this black and white worldview, heaven, hell, demon, spiritual warfare, exorcist, all this crazy shit, right? Or completely different than like people that are Christian light that have this private prayerful spiritual moments in their life that have nothing to do with anybody else. And it's completely separated from their belief or observations of scientific facts. It's the larger point that this is a cult-like thinking. It's definitely like this compulsive cult-like thinking that happens to have been co-opted by this political party. Right. That's where, because I don't really, Christians have the strong desire to recruit other people. As an atheist, I don't have any desire for anybody else to be an atheist. Now, I have to say, within that, my least favorite people to hang out with are overtly religious Bible thumpers. It drives me crazy. Much like you talked in the last episode, Pumps. Right. I'm blessed. God is good. It's a God thing. It's just because to me, I'm just like, well, just put a sock in it with the magical thinking. I've had it. Yeah. Well, and I also think like, and I think it's like the non-smoker, now judges smokers. Yeah, yeah. With me for sure. But one thing it's like, if, if you draw a piece from it and it makes you feel better, I'm all for it. Yeah. But if your actions are so hateful and demean other people, I think you have to look inward. And if you do it, you use religion to justify it. Right. Right. And use religion as both a weapon and a shield. Yeah. All right, listener, a new season, a president's day sale completely on the horizon. I cannot share with you enough how much I love the products from iRestore. They absolutely include products for your hair. If you're dealing with thinning, shedding, or if you just want fuller, healthier hair, the iRestore Elite is one of the easiest routine upgrades you can make. And with their President's Day Sale, it's happening right now. It's truly the best time to try it. It's an at-home device that uses 300 lasers and 200 LEDs to deliver targeted light therapy to your scalp. And it's clinically proven to help regrow hair. And the best part is how effortless it is. 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And so just a quick message from today's sponsor, the ASPCA Pet Health Insurance Program. These days, we insure just about everything. Our cars that lose value the second we drive them, phones we trade in every two years or less, and trips we haven't taken yet. But our pets, these things are truly, truly irreplaceable. They often go unprotected. With ASPCA Pet Health insurance, you can get help with unexpected vet bills and make sure your dog or cat gets the care they need when they need it. When you enroll in an ASPCA pet health insurance plan, you could get a $25 Amazon gift card. It's a little treat for you while you're doing something great for your pet. It's been around for almost 20 years and has covered nearly 1 million pets in that time Because big vet bills never show up when it's convenient, do they? So listener, to explore coverage, visit ASPCAPetInsurance.com slash hadit. That's ASPCAPetInsurance.com slash hadit. Eligibility restrictions apply. Visit ASPCAPetInsurance.com slash Amazon terms for more info. This is a paid advertisement. insurance is underwritten by either Independence American Insurance Company or United States Fire Insurance Company and produced by PTZ Insurance Agency Limited. The ASPCA is not an insurer and is not engaged in the business of insurance. Okay, up next we've got Kyle. Good morning, Kylie. I just had to leave you a quick voice memo. I think the girls that I've had I have a new term for you guys. I can't take credit for it, but I did find it on the internet somewhere, and I don't know where. But moving forward I personally and I think all of you guys should refer to the mega women your Candace Owens Erica Kirks all them bitches as the twatsies They are full on twatsies It's honestly my new favorite term. I've been using it the entire week. Big fan. I get a lot of reactions. And yeah, that's my new term this week. I think you should adopt it. Love you guys. Bye. Love you back. And the twatsies. And here's a prime example. Here's the twatsies. Here's a prime example. They use their faith as a weapon to weaponize against people that were raised like pumps that has the ability to critically think. She's an attorney, did everything that the Christians in her life scripted for her to do. And it led you to a road of despair, no money, no escape route, torture. I mean, not that you were physically tortured, but psychologically and emotionally. Oh my God, you went through it. And their message in the name of religion is so dangerous for women because I just don't believe that these women are religious. I think it's a cult. And I think you, Pumps, I think you were kind of in a cult. Well, Anne, I think when I'm taking a bird's eye view from it, I look at you can't criticize it. Well, that's earmark of a cult. and what bothers me the most now, like all the things that bothers me, even more than somebody telling me to have a blessed day, the way that, um, the misogyny and the sexism, it's so internalized. It's just a part of it that bothers me the most because I was straight down the fairway with all of that. And it was me that had to take control of my life. A man is what was like taking my life to shit. You know what I mean? Like, so to sit there and act like women should be trad wives and submit to their husbands. It's like, what if your husband's a complete fucking freak and fucks up everything to a spectacular five-star nuclear meltdown on an hourly basis? Then what happens? You don't leave people with a choice. You've got them in a trap situation. And that's kind of, that's how I felt. And that's my lived experience. So that bothers me the most of all of it. When Fox News and Jesse Waters get on there and they demean women. And I'm like, there are women sitting in there that feel so trapped and do not feel empowered to leave. And I've been that person. So I always, that's what drives me the craziest. So Twatsies, i'm all in although i think that's too nice if you said it i would be happier because it always brings me just the biggest i get so tickled every time you're just like she's a twat like okay i have googled um and i have an ai overview of the signs of a cult are you ready to go through okay charismatic and authoritarian leader a leader who claims supreme knowledge demands unquestioning obedience lacks accountability and often seeing themselves as above moral standards i would say this resembles not only the church you're in but also the family structure 100 100 next step is isolation members are pressured to cut ties with family and friends who are seen as threats making the group the sole source of support how many times did your parents tell you not to to hang out with me. Well, not just you in my, but when I was kids too, I mean a hundred, but like even when as, as a child, you know, don't run away with her, that kind of thing. All right. Here's another one. Thought control, critical thinking, questioning, and dissent are forbidden. Members are taught to use specific phrases or slogans to shut down doubts. Yeah. I mean, it's check, check, check, check, check. fear and guilt, fear of the outside world, divine punishment, or shunning is used to keep members in line. Members often say they were quote, never good enough, which is what I talk about a lot. Yeah. They, they, they keep evangelical Christianity keeps my peers and you, it was always this, this real, uh, I couldn't understand it. Like, you know, I'm just really working on my relationship with God and, you know, I need to do things that please him. And I'm just like, when I just wake up and I'll be an asshole and see if that fits into that thing. But it was always this like made up extra things that that you all had to do to be right because you weren't inherently born good enough. Could you imagine the first time I heard and I mean, no indoctrination at all. The first time I heard like the whole so you were born bad. God made you and he made you bad. You were a bad baby. Right. And the only way that you can get better is to get rid of sin is to accept Jesus, his son, who he sent on a suicide mission. And I'm just like, that's it though. That's what it is. I'm just like, what? Like, but also his son is him and he's the son. That was like a trick. I was like, what? I mean, I was just, I remember like this. I had that my very first boyfriend, he was so, they were so serious to recruit me. And my other friends, I'd kind of asked them questions about it. And they were like, want to tongue talk and do weird shit. Right. Well, my very first boyfriend, of course, you know, your first boyfriend you're so in love with, right. So in love, religious. And I remember them talking about like how you're born bad and you're born a sinner. And I had never heard such a thing like that you're born in here. I mean, I kind of, my parents didn't say you're born great, but I was inherently taught to kind of see the goodness in people. Right. And that, that being bad was kind of a choice, like a conscious choice and that you needed to choose the light. Right. So when I first started hearing all this, and then what the, the suicide trip, the suicide mission and then like the father son holy spirit but it's all the same and then here's the thing too that got me i was told god knows this was a recruiting technique right for somebody who was zero indoctrination god knows you before you're born he knows exactly what yes throughout your whole life and then he knows where if you're going to heaven or hell and i'm like then why the fuck are we doing all this yeah i remember asking my mom as a a child like i don't know how old i was but i was old enough to remember so let's say middle school-ish 11 10 11 12 i coming home from church and i was like so if a baby dies before they can make a conscious decision are they going to go to hell and it she didn't say yes but she kind of fudged around and i remember thinking that's i mean as a child the baby was going to hell no she couldn't bring herself to say that but it was more like well there's kind of an exception or carve out because when you point blank ask someone like is a baby going to hell that dies of a health complication at birth you know that's kind of but i remember having that conversation with her and i could tell that the answer was yes but it just as she was saying it it just was so bad that she backtracked and made a carve out i can't remember what the carve out was but i remember because i just remember thinking because every time it would come up after that the born bad stuff i remember thinking about that okay here's some more us versus them mentality unique exclusive truth girl put my face on that lack of transparency loss of individuality constant pressure to perform shunning of former members i see i think it's a cult i just i 100 percent think white evangelical christianity is a cult well i mean if we're judging by that and the behavior and you can't question i mean like i where's the i also think it's cool for me to start saying this is my friend and Angie, she used to be in a cult. I think that was a super- Yeah, I was making fun of Jenny Thomas the other day because Clarence Thomas' wife used to be in a cult, now she's super MAGA. And then I thought, well, can I really throw stones at Jenny Thomas? Obviously I can because she's a lunatic, but I did think, I did have that thought. You did? I did. So you kind of feel like it was a cult? Yeah, there were definitely parts of it that were culty. It's really every religion. But you know what? So, but no, no, of course not. because I have a friend, our mutual friend, and she has this, she's really cool. And she's a Christian. Like she is, I think like Methodist or something, but she's like very woke, very progressive, but she has this like really beautiful sense of faith and we've talked about it. And I'm just like, I think it's fucking crazy Liz. She's like, I know you do, but I just, it's my thing. And I, you know, it's just something that that grounds me. And I love that for her. I genuinely love that for her, that she has that. And but she also doesn't see my beliefs as some threat to her beliefs, nor do I see her beliefs as a threat to my belief. And that's where I think you get to where it's not culty at all. I agree. Right. And I think a lot of people have that type of kind of silent faith that's a super personal thing for them. And for me, I'm all about that. I think where Pumps and I come from to probably a lot of our listeners are like at East and West Coast, like, God, y'all beat up on Christians all the time. Right. And we do. Because the Christians we are around are awful. They're MAGA. It's the same thing. And it's getting louder every fucking day. Yeah. We're trying to. Okay. One more, Kylie. One last one. Okay, the last one will be from Dylan. Okay, so what I've had it with is when you go on your streaming platforms, you're like on Hulu, Netflix, whatever, and then you get to the episode, whatever you want to watch. By the way, you're paying for this service amongst a thousand others. And then you get to press play and it says, which ad experience would you prefer? What? It's like the most gaslighting shit ever. Like you're paying for the service. they're abusing you constantly with ads you're paying presuming you're not going to get any ads and then not only are they giving you ads but they're being like here what would you like a pine cone or a pineapple up your ass like it's like literally pick one or the other and they're the exact same thing at the end of the day it's so fucking stupid i don't get it at all and i'm sick of it across the board anything that's like pay to stop giving you ads it's the most toxic abusive shit ever anyways i know you guys have kind of talked about this before but anyways as pumps would say what the fuck okay first of all dylan has a very attractive voice very like i just all i can think about when he talked is i bet he is hot agree and very soothing like i could like lay my head on his shoulder i feel like i want to objectify his voice yeah and i don't know if that's woke i don't know if that's progressive but i know that that's what i want to do with his voice. Yeah, it's a great voice. Here's the thing. I've had this exact same meltdown. Like I had a full fucking meltdown over this on a podcast. And I was just like, because I bought it. I'm going in there. There's all these ads. I can't get out. And I was just like, wanted to like jump off the empire state building. I was so fucking mad about it. This kind of shit makes me fucking crazy. I'm buying that. I'm paying for your service. If I'm, it's not free if I'm watching the free part that's fine but I'm fucking paying for it and you're going to shove it out at my ass had it could not agree more hate it I want you to bottle up all of that frustration and grievance that you have right now okay and remember it and the next time we go to an event and you tell me that I have to Irish exit and I can't lollygag and I can't small talk. I want you to remember that feeling that you just had the meltdown that you just had. And I want you to know, Oh, this is what this feels like for her. Especially because I promised to be the helper. I promise. In fact, I browbeat her about it. You pre-browbeat me. Right. I got in trouble before it even happened. Right. Right. And so I just, I want you to remember that feeling the next time we go somewhere together and just bottle that up and just put it right here. I will do that. I will do that. Thanks for sharing with us about your deconstruction. I have people that message me that I've kind of gone through the same thing. And I think it's really prevalent as you get to be an adult. Yeah, I really do. I think you need to talk to your therapist about when you say stuff like I was embarrassed or I was ashamed. You had no agency over that. You didn't get to pick that. That was forced upon you. No, you're right. And we didn't talk about the plot. Like, I didn't find that. Do you need to let go of that? Because that's like, you were emotionally blackmailed. If you do not believe this, you're going to be tortured in hell forever. Yeah. Spend some, it's kind of fucked up. Fleepless nights worried about it. For sure. Yeah. All right. Is that it? Kylie, is that it? Are we out? That's it. All right. We will see you next Tuesday and Thursday. I'll tell you what I've had it with. Let's hear it. I've had it with that. Listen up, patriots, gaytriots, and natriots. We have a new podcast that has dropped. It's called iHip News. It's Monday through Friday, every day, 15 to 20 minute hot takes on the political landscape of the United States of America, always served with a side of petty grievances. We are on all the available platforms, Apple, Spotify, Google, whatever. You get your podcasts and YouTube. Please go rate, subscribe, and review so that we will chart upwards with America's greatest legal mind. Pumps, what does an eagle say? Caw-caw. A little bit more enthusiasm. Caw-caw. That's it. That's the patriotism that this country needs right there.