They Still Got It! Words of Wisdom from Mamaw Jo and Friends | Korie Robertson, Mamaw Jo & Friends

So you want to start a business. You might think you need a team of people and fancy text kills, but you don't. You just need GoDaddy Arrow. I'm Walton Goggins and as an actor, I'm an expert in looking like I know what I'm doing. GoDaddy Arrow uses AI to create everything you need to grow a business. It'll make you a unique logo. It'll create a custom website. It'll write social posts for you and even sets you up with a social media calendar. Get started at godaddy.com slash arrow. That's godaddy dot com slash A I R O. Hey there. Welcome to public public public public public public public public public public public public public public public public public public public public public public public public public public public public public public public public public public public public public public public public public public public and that's Memal Joe. Memal Joe is, you're getting to be a regular here on this podcast, right? Well, it's not bad. I kind of like it. Good. You're welcome any time. I promised you. Actually, I was talking to Sadie last night about getting to do this and she was like, I'm kind of jealous. I wish I were getting to do this, have this conversation, but she'll get to listen to it along with all of you and just learn from these women. I am so excited to have you all on here. So this was inspired by last week, I got invited to y'all's lunch, your normal lunch that y'all do often, but every year for everybody's birthday, you go to a special place for lunch and I get invited. And a lot of times I can't come because I'm out of town or whatever, but for this one I got to come and it was Aunt Carol's birthday last week. And I sat there among all these amazing women and just left so inspired and encouraged and excited about getting older. I have to admit, there was a time in my life when I think I was a little bit nervous about getting older, but watching all of you and how you have done life and your friendship and your relationships and all of that just has been so inspiring to me and makes me not fear getting older anymore. Because y'all are just doing it so well and so beautifully. And so we wanna learn from you today. Thank you, Cori. So thank you for being here. So first of all, let's just start off by telling everybody your name and a little bit about yourself. We'll start with Aunt Carol over here and kind of work our way around the couch. Well, I'm Carol Durham and Carol. I just turned 81 years old last month. I was a teacher for 39 years and I taught a lot of Cori's kids. I have one daughter. Unfortunately, she lives in Atlanta. She used to live in Jackson, which was a very workable distance to travel to see her. Atlanta's not so workable, although we just got back from a trip last week to see her and her family. She has two daughters, so I have two granddaughters that are my pride and joy, even though they're far away. We sometimes FaceTime or yesterday, the youngest one was watching the Auburn game and she was FaceTiming with her grandpa discussing different plays. And that's kind of fun that we can keep in touch that way. Yeah, so thankful for the FaceTime technology. Yes. Something we didn't have when you were young, Cori. That's right. We were trying to make the trip to Shreveport. That's right. She used to call me Memo and Shreveport. That was my name, not just Memo, but Memo and Shreveport. And I loved it. I loved to get to go see, visit Memo and Shreveport because Memo's place was just a haven. You just got to stay up as late as you wanted to and watch Nick at night and sleep as late as you wanted to and Memo made all your favorite things and it was just like the best warm hug to get to go to your house. I've always said Cori came to my house to decompress. I would. I'm her race track mama. That's actually true. That's actually true. All right, Memo, I'll tell us a little bit about yourself. Okay. Do you want me to name my family? You can say how many. Tell us how many. That's what I meant. Yes, please tell us. Because it still kind of amazes me when I think about it. I have six children, 12 grandchildren, 35 great-grandchildren, 12 great-great-grandchildren and three more on the way. That is amazing. Isn't that crazy? That is amazing. Yeah, we added up. It's a little crazy wonderful. Like 54 direct descendants. I think they're 61. 61 direct descendants. And then counting spouses, there's 90. Yes, that's incredible. Under you as you as the matriarch. So that's amazing. I don't have them to launch anymore. And I retired at 84 from a real estate brokerage that my husband and I owned. That has been my life since then. Kind of the, I call myself when my grandchildren today a spectator because that's my role. You're the best spectator. Everybody loves. I love being a spectator for all those kids. Everyone loves that. It's just great. And one thing I think that's interesting about you is you didn't even start working until you were 55 years old. I did not until all of my children worked. You worked, you raised six children. I did. And took care of your home. And my parents. And yes, our parents lived with us too. Yes. But it was a. So that was at work, but a different kind of work. Yeah. And my husband and I enjoyed being together anyway. So working together was the best, just the absolute best. That's awesome. All right, Grace. I'm Grace Burke. Can I look at you? Yeah. I'm Grace Burke. I have been a, I've been in Monroe 43 years. I was born in Bojaparish. I will be 79 on November the 16th. I have been a real estate agent since 1972. That's 53 years. Wow. And I love doing that. And it's been very good to me. I have two children. I also do weddings and I do birthday cakes. I was going to bring that up and you did not mention that because Grace has a claim to fame. We call it a grace cake. Like everyone loves a grace cake and every birthday party, wedding, whatever. So sweet. It's a big treat if we all get a grace cake. So, and you're still doing that. I got a grace cake last week and it curls. Lunch. And yeah. And wedding, I know that you recently I heard that you were working at a wedding at our farm not too long ago and I heard you were foraging in the woods for branches and trees and making it so beautiful. For smile acts, we did. We went up and down in Calhoun. We went all over the place getting smile acts so we didn't have to pay for it. That's amazing. Oh, I hope I'm still doing that at your age. Oh, I hope you are too. Yes. Because it's fun. Good. I have two children, Dennis and Cam. Cam is an RN at Oshner's in day surgery in New Orleans. Dennis is a health consultant in Dallas, but he's all over the place. And I have five grandchildren. Kayla is 28. Blake is 25. And Scotty is, she's six. Sonny is two, about to be three, and boss, Boston. But we call him boss. He's one. Love it. And I get to go back and forth and keep them all the time. That's the best. And so I get to go this week and stay a week next week. That's great. It's great. That's the best. Have a grand, grand, grand, grand life. Oh, that's amazing. All right, Aunt Barbara. Well, you just announced me. I'm Aunt Barbara Sackleford. I am my sweet sister, Ms. Joe's sister-in-law. Our husbands were brothers. That's why I'm here in Louisiana. Moved here seven years ago from California and moved to California from Wisconsin. So I've been around a little bit. I have, I have to count them. There's, I don't know why I can't remember. I have three children, two sons and a stepdaughter. A stepdaughter has my newest grandchildren who are eight years old. And my other grandchildren are in their 30s. And I have six great grandchildren and several bonus great grandchildren that are steps. So it's, but none of them live here. And the reason I'm here is because the three children all live in three different states. So when it comes to the decision of to where to go, it just seemed like the best thing to do. And it certainly was the best, best move of my life. And oh, gosh, I'm 82 years old. Love these ladies. They've welcomed me when I moved here with open arms. I walked into a fabulous church, a fabulous family and was welcomed in it. It was delightful. Thank you. Amazing. Well, I think that one of the things that struck me about y'all's friendship and sitting around that table with all of you is just that, is just that friendship and community. And I know there's been a lot of, a lot of things that have come out about blue zones and how to live to be your 80s and 90s and all that. And a lot of it has to do with health and what you eat and what your exercise, but also faith is a huge part of that. Every single time and community and friendship. And I think y'all do that so well. Y'all do all of it so well, but that friendship, community, your faith and all that. And I think that's a big part of you live in the good life. I agree. Yes. So do y'all have like a friendship name, like a group name? Well, our texting name is... Coffee ladies. Coffee ladies. Coffee ladies? Yeah. Coffee ladies. Coffee ladies, that's it. I love that. That's great. That's a good one. And I know with the email, I know your kind of friendship rhythms, which I would probably not even call it that, but that would be in this, the language of this day is like, what's your friendship rhythms? I know one of the things that I've been struck about what you do is your weekly friendships that are here, right here every day. And then I know once a month you drive to St. Port. I do. Or bridge. I do. With your friends that lived in St. Port during that time period. We have lunch and we play nonsense games. That's great. So we can talk and visit. That's so great. There are seven of us in the group there. And it's seven, maybe six now, yeah. And it's just great fun. I look forward to it every month. That's amazing. And these are friends from, that I've made in Shreveport at church, about 35 years ago. Wow. That's amazing. And we've done this for about the last 20. Wow. And then once a year you go to Hot Springs or somewhere. Somewhere. I know Sadie ran into you one time in Franklin with your friend group. Yes. She did. She was coming out of a department store that we were going into. And it was just hilarious. I could not believe we ran into each other. That was so great. She said that was a highlight running into you with your friend group. It was. So once a year you do that as well. So just that investment in friendship and relationship, I think it's so important and valuable. It is important. It's just, I contribute that as one of the factors of my living long. Yeah. That's great. I think so. I remember whenever we started low and I had all the what-ifs. What if I fail? What if it isn't where I need to be? And looking back, I can see so clearly that God had his hand in the whole thing. Starting something new is exciting, but it's also very scary. And that's why I'm thankful for Shopify. Shopify is the commerce platform behind millions of businesses around the world and 10% of all e-commerce in the US from massive brands to tiny startups. Team Low starts on Shopify every single day for managing inventory and staying on top of orders. It just works. You can build a beautiful online store with templates that actually match your vibe. 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It even helps you make sense of risk and return. Monzo, the bank that gets your money moving. You could get back less than you invest. Monzo current account required UK residents 18 plus T's and C's apply. I have a group as well, if I may interject. Yes, please tell us. The girls of 64 that I graduated with, there's, we started out with eight of us, but we enjoy one another three or four times a year in Shreveport and Beaux-Jour, they have come here, and I took them on a tour of the Beaten Horn. Yes. And we did the whole thing, and they just thought it was the best. I love that. It was the greatest. There've been two or three of them that we have lost along the way, but the rest of us, we are in a group text all the time and share things, and we had one of us just went to Italy. Wow. Spent two weeks. That's amazing. It is amazing. That's great. We just cheer in each other on. Yes. I know that. Yes. Barbara, did you have something to add to that? Well, one of the things that crossed my mind that it's something that I heard at, I don't know how many years ago, but it's kind of stuck with me that family is there and this family is important, but your friends are your treasures. And I really, that really hit home, and it truly is to have a good friendship with more than one or many. Or even just one, one really good friend that you can talk to. But as far as traveling is concerned, I do get in the car and haul myself off to Oklahoma to see my family there that's as closest. But it's wonderful. That's great. Well, I don't know. I'm sure you who are listening have read the studies about the loneliness epidemic, and they're calling it that right now. They said since 2010, I looked it up last night, since 2010, we have as a culture have become increasingly more lonely. And I saw the stat last night, it said that across all the age groups, people are spending less time with each other in person than two decades ago, which I would think that would likely have something to do with the phones and social media. Absolutely. Absolutely. Yes. And it said that it was most pronounced among young people. Ages 15 to 24 had 70% less social interactions with their friends than any other generation. So I think it is very scary. Yes. That face-to-face interaction, that time together, not just on a phone is so important. And I think, of course, that's contributing to this loneliness epidemic that people are saying. I know whenever we had a conference recently and they asked how many people in this room feel lonely on a regular basis, and so many in the room raised their hands. And so I just wanna encourage you, as we have this conversation and we're gonna talk more about friendship, and I wanna hear more from you, is just value that friendship and don't, just as important as health and your diet and your skincare routine and all those things that influencers on social media are telling you is important. And more than that is your relationships and your friendships. Okay, so I thought that we'd have a little fun part here. So this is a rapid fire. So this is, I'm just gonna go through, we'll go in order this way too, just rapid fire, a few questions and we would love to hear from you on this. Okay, go to coffee order. Thank you, Carol. Mocha. Black. BKF. Okay. Coffee and. It can be tea. No, cream and sugar. Cream and sugar. Great, perfect. Okay, the best movie that you, I know y'all are movie watchers, I know y'all got a movie together. Best movie you've seen this year. I don't think I've seen one yet this year. You haven't? We used to be great moviegoers and then my husband was sick for a while and we didn't go. And then COVID, we didn't go. And we just never got back in the swing. So I don't think I've been to, but we're going this afternoon. You're going this afternoon. What are you going to this afternoon? Down to Naby. Oh, that's good to see you. I love it. Cross me up. I haven't, if I had, if I still want, I wouldn't remember the name. I'm with you, Joe. Great, Joe. The Chosin' are the greatest show on earth. Oh, those are both good. Those are both great. That's a good one. I don't remember either since January, but like I said, we're going today. So I had to watch them on TV, but not in the theater. Not going to the theater anymore? No. Well, yeah. When someone says let's go, something that interests us, but it hasn't happened. How this happened yet this year? We're too busy drinking coffee. Naby is going to be a good one. So that'll be fun. All right. What's your favorite decade in fashion? Hey, this is way, way back, but I'm thinking like the 50s. The 50s? Yeah. I really am. I think that too, Joe. I think that too. Great year for fashion. Yeah, it was. You wore the hats and everything. I did. And gloves. Yeah, I'm always been very fashionable. That's right. The I wore hats too. The 50s and 60s were the greatest. Yes, I always wore them. They were. Everything matched. Yes. And now everything is casual. It's true. We just don't wear hats and gloves anymore. Yeah. We were jeans. I would say that was a good decade. All I remember is that I had to wear a dress to school. There was not, slump pants were not allowed. I tried. But living in a very rural area, we didn't dress up a lot, but when we did, we went to church or went anywhere. You were dressed. Yeah. And it was fun. A friend of mine is doing an experiment. She said, a social experiment. She's wearing dresses now, just on a day to day, regular day to day basis when she travels or whatever. And she said, it is really amazing how different people treat you. She said, men open doors for her, people are more polite and friendlier. So I thought that was really interesting. It's true too. Really, you've noticed that too. It is true. It is true. Interesting. It's very locked in my mind to be dressed up. Yeah. Yeah. It is. It's very difficult for me to wear jeans a lot. Be relaxed. I've done it lately. I have done it lately. Well, it's rare, Grace. I know it. Well, I know Memo, you said, tell us that they would get dressed up to go to the doctor. Oh, yes. Oh, yes. Of course we did. We go to the doctor in like sweats. Arpeggios. Arpeggios, yeah. It's lucky if you got a bra on going to the doctor nowadays. Oh, no. Oh, no. I was like, never. She's wearing a bra on, isn't it? No. Okay. All right, here's another one. What's your favorite place you've ever traveled? Oh, Australia. Oh, yes. That's a good one. I've never been there. Sorry. I need to. I need to go. All right, anywhere else? Anyone else? Pennsylvania, Dutch country. Was fascinating. The farmland is just beautiful. And their culture is so different. It's kind of interesting to observe them. And I think that would be one of my favorites, at least. That's really interesting. Okay. Greece and Italy probably, in France, were probably the most exciting ones that I've enjoyed. Yeah, so beautiful. I've been out of the United States other than Mexico, but I think the most beautiful scenery in the world is the coast of California and the national parks in Utah. Yeah. And it's stunning. So that would be my favorites. So beautiful. Colorado and skiing. Yes. That's the best. We all love to snow ski. Yes. Yes, it is. Well, this group loves to snow ski. Aunt Carol? We went one year. You went one year. And I sat with the other wimpy grandmas on the day for great coffee. But I skied with my family. I'm with Jo and with Grace. I skied with y'all a lot. A lot of years. So much fun. The best. So much fun. Seeing each other on the mountain, beating up at the lodge is the best. Yes. OK, skincare routine. You know, Kori, I never had one out growing up my entire life. And I still don't, really. It's just too much work. I don't have one. You don't have one? I just clean my face at night put on my makeup every morning. Perfect. Everyday. It's kind of my story too, just keep my face clean. All right, keep it simple, ladies. These ladies look amazing. And they just say, keep it simple. Great advice. Well, if you want your face to look like a road map, lived at 94. That's what it's supposed to be. Well, for 20 years, I probably didn't even wash my face at night. I didn't wash it till the next morning. I was probably 20, 25 years. And then somebody said. You wanted to look good all night, Grace. Oh, yeah. You want to look good for... That's right. Why take it off? That's crazy. Work so hard for you to try and take it off. I'm pretty bad about not washing my face at night either. No, I do, of course, but not for a long time. Yeah. All right, that's perfect. OK, hardest thing about getting older. This can be funny. This can be serious. Well, mine is putting on my eyebrows because they just are nonexistent. And I have to have them. Yes, you did kind of lose your eyebrows as you get older. I've noticed that already. And I'm 51. And that's the hardest thing to do. Yes, you get that. I keep thinking maybe I should go have them tattooed. But I don't trust anyone. Grace said you could get that fix. You can get that fix. I can't mind tattoo that. I know, I thought about the microblading. Yes. But then it's scary because what if they don't do it right? Yes, what if they mess up? Yes, any other hardest thing about getting older? I would say along the eyebrows, when they start turning gray, then now you've got to start putting a color on the gray hairs that pop through. Yes. The regularity of the hair nowadays for me. My gray comes through so fast, I'm like, wait, I just was at the salon. No. And it's already popping out. I forgot what else. You forgot your hardest thing? You can think about it. Ankerle, do you have anything? I think mobility issues. I have arthritis in my knee, which definitely slows me down. Yeah, there's that. And I have difficulty getting out of a chair. So I have to use my hands and arms to help me. And that makes my hands and arms hurt. So my knees hurt, my hands and arms hurt. But you're still going. I'm still going slowly. I remember making sure of my steps. Yes. Making sure that I don't go too fast. Or my son is telling me all the time, he's at DPT and he's saying, mama, you got to get out of your high heels and you got to watch where you walk. Yes. Well, I'm not getting out of my heels. But I can watch where I walk. And so you're going to watch where you walk. I love it. That's great. Well, flats are in right now. So you could try to make the transition. That's a good deal. I think that was a no. I love it. I love it. OK, what is something that used to seem like a big deal, but now you realize is not actually a big deal? Cooking. Oh, OK. I used to think that I would have to have a meal every day, something special and living alone. It's something that just doesn't matter anymore. Yeah. And trying to figure out how to entertain. And then you think, I don't really have to do that either. I'd love to. But it just isn't something that's on my radar. Yeah, that's good. Yeah, I think that's the biggest thing. Anybody else? Well, I used to think that the house had to be completely cleaned every week. And I can remember when we lived in New Orleans and I was doing a lot of substitute teaching. Friday was the day that you got called pretty often. So Thursday became my cleaning day. And I would stay up until midnight cleaning the house, just in case I got called the next day and couldn't do it. And now, if it's two weeks between cleanings or three between cleanings, it just doesn't bother me as much. Yeah, that's great. And I think that's great advice to young people listening. Yes. But I've learned a lot from my daughter-in-law about things like the house and blah, blah, blah. Because the most important things are taking, spending her time and their time with their children. That's the most important thing for them right now. And they do a fantastic job of it. Yeah, that's so good. I mean, they give them their time from the moments that they get home from school and they're all together. They belong to their children till their eyes are closed at night. And I'm impressed by that. Yeah, that is beautiful. Emma? Well, there's so many things that were important all through life that you find at the end of your life have no importance whatsoever. Just most of it is stuff. That's fine. Stuff is not important anymore. I'm thinking now of how am I going to get rid of all this stuff before I die so my kids won't have to come in and say, I can't believe she kept this. Yeah, so that's got to be primarily what it is. It's nothing really as important as that family relationships and faith. It's just that's all there is to it. Yeah, that's it in life. That's it. Yeah, that's it. That's great. All right, so this is because we give advice on this podcast. And a lot of times we ask about like, what's your best of these advice? So this would be kind of your best piece of advice for your 20 year old self. Like if you were talking to your 20 year old self, what would you what advice would you give them? I would give I would say that I would be more intentional with my walk with Christ at 20 years old than I was. I would give anything if I could go back and be more intentional with my walk with my savior. That's so good. I really believe that with all of my heart. That's so good. Yeah, a lot of times at 20, you think, oh, you got your life. You can figure that out later. Yes, but it's good. 20s are such an important age. So many that are listening or young people here are such an important age to really get rooted in your faith because all the other things flow from that. Pick up your Bible and read it every day, at least every day, or at least two or three times a week. But every day is the best. It's good. It's all right there. And that's hard to type. But yeah, that's that's a good thought. In my 20 year old self, I was already a mother of two. Pretty busy. Married to a police officer at that time, whose schedule changed weekly. So I had to deal with changing my lifestyle weekly to his days that he worked in his days off. And the children were not in school at that time. So it was some plant keeping the children quiet because he worked during the nighttime. So it's just a grant, just a lifestyle that a lot of people do live, will live with it. And a lot of people don't, you know, have nine to five type working schedules. But I just made sure that I took care of the children. And if I had to get them out of the house to keep them quiet, we did. We would just walk them all or go to a McDonald's or whatever was important at that particular moment. But it was basically just making sure the children were comfortable, happy and, you know, just just being a mom. Yeah. So a 20 year old that is not in that any type of a situation like that, I would say, try to keep yourself out of that type of a situation. Yeah. And be in school and get your education. Yeah. And find yourself a good, comfortable life. Yeah. Yeah. It's good. Thank you for sharing that. I would tell myself, think only of today. Don't worry about tomorrow. Don't worry about what you're going to have to do tomorrow. What, how much you owe are going to owe tomorrow. All of all of the things that you can just travel your mind when you're just starting out in this adulthood of marriage and family. Just think about today. Would tomorrow is going to take care of itself. You're going to work on tomorrow's things tomorrow. Anyway, so just take each day at a time. That's good. Yeah. That's biblical. Yeah. Jesus said he'll take care of all that. Just to only worry about today. I remember when my word little, I could only think through till the next nap time. I remember there was a point where you're just like, OK, they all have to take a nap at some point and I just got to get there. And then it was to bedtime. OK, everyone's we're all going to go to sleep at some point tonight. And we just got to get there. And so we had we had pretty scheduled routines at my house. Did you? And if it was dark, you went to bed. It was time for mom and dad. Seriously, it's good. I was I was pretty stern about getting the kids off to bed when it was time for them to go to bed because well, you needed your time. I needed all needed your time together. Yes, with six kids under what were the age range? I had four under four at one time. And I don't remember how old or under four. Yes, it was born or under four. That's a lot. Yes, that was a lot. They were there were a lot of them. We had to have some pretty stern routines, although I didn't think I was a routine person. You figured it out. Huh? Yes, that's good. And Carol, well, my life at 20 was a little bit different because I was not married and I was the teacher. So my career was kind of my whole life. But I think my advice might be when your situation changes, you be ready to change because when I met my husband, I was still a teacher. Once a teacher, you're always a teacher. But other things became more important. He became more important and eventually our family became more important. So be ready to roll with the punches. That's good. That's great. Left all that advice. OK, so back on the kind of the friendships and the relationships I was thinking about, I know all of you experience different hardships, divorce, loss of spouse, illnesses, all of that. How have you all been there for one another or how has a friend been there for you? And how can I guess the advice would be to this group is like, how can you be a friend to somebody that is going through that and and how do relationships carry you through? I think we've got a handle on that. There are there are how many on our group? Nine. OK. And we we eat together probably about three times a week. Wow. So we sit around a table or sit somewhere and visit and talk. And we complain about all of our illnesses to each other. And everybody listens respectively and goes ahead with whatever is happening there. If somebody is sick, that and we're we're missing on our group right now, two of our ladies that have been sick for several weeks or been out for several weeks and we miss them. But we keep up with them daily text to see how they're feeling, take things to them that they might need help in any way we can. And so I think that's really our our basic purpose is just to stay in touch constantly so that they can be uplifted by whatever there is that we can do for them. Yeah, that presence with one another. Right. I don't think anybody feels slighted if there's four of us to do something and they're they just can't make it that day or there's six of us and three can't. And nobody feels any any way at all that they were left out. Yeah. It's just either you can or you can't. Yeah. And like I say, we just the security. Yes. And we're all different ages. And I work schedule does not not allow me to enjoy. Their company as much as they enjoy one another. But I don't they don't make me feel like I shouldn't have done that or I should have been there or I wasn't there. They just roll with me and accept me just the way that I am. That's so great. And every once in a while, I get to enjoy. But they don't make me they make me feel the opposite. They make me feel so very welcome when I do get to enjoy. That's so great. Yes, it is. Because we've all lived a pretty long time, we have a variety of experiences. And when one of us faces something, there is probably someone in the group that can say been there, done that and offer advice and support. And that's just really important. My husband had a very serious illness a few years ago, and he was four and a half months in the hospital and their support just could not be replaced. Along with that, along with, you know, hard things happening in your life, as you said, have all lived a long time. I'm sure you've experienced a lot of hard things. And what has that taught you? What is suffering, I guess, through the hard thing taught you that you feel like you are grateful that you've learned through that? I go ahead. No, no, you go right ahead. No, you go right ahead and now go. OK, well, mine was a little unusual. My mother moved in with me and my husband. And she moved from Wisconsin to California when she was 92. And she lived to be just shy of 100. So that was a good learning experience for me. Taught me a lot of patience. And I think it's something that a lot of people don't do these days is take in that family member, although she's a really delightful woman. My husband dearly loved her. And then my husband got sick before she passed. And it was an unfortunate illness that we knew he was not going to live. And I really believe that the Lord works in so many ways that I was taught the patience to care for him. And it's just in these are the life things that we do discuss when we're all together, something that something will trigger a thought and then we can everybody allows everybody else to have their moments to talk to each other about our life, our stories. That's beautiful. Thank you for that. Yeah, about 30 years ago, there was a major change in my life with my son and I. And these people around with you all. My church, to be a far. Just pulled me through that. And I will be forever, forever indebted and grateful for. Mac Owen and. Oh, Mac and Barry Bradley and. Joe and Shaq and. Mary Lou and. Joe, Neil and Randy just were so, so, so. I can't I cannot even describe it. We got through it with fine colors. Yeah. And I never felt less than what I should have felt because of this family, your family pulling me through. I will never forget it. And this is us being together. We're still together. Mm hmm. I'll never forget. That's great. Being together through the good and the hard. That's right. Do you want to would you like to speak a little bit to singleness? Because you've been single for 30 years and I know a lot of people send in questions about that, about loneliness and singleness or how God has carried you in that. Well, it has been. The greatest 30 or 30 something years of my life. I absolutely love my life. And. The thing of it is I can do what I want to whenever I want to within the realms of Jesus and God and my church family. I can go where I want to whenever I want to. I can go. I don't have to ask anybody's permission to get in my car and go to Dallas and spend many, many days with my grandchildren. And it is the best. Anybody that is by themselves, just have a relationship with the Lord. And you will have great relations, relationships with people and friends. That will listen any time of the day or night. And I've learned to really listen to because there were many hours that somebody listened to me and let me cry on their shoulder and let me say the things I probably shouldn't have said. And love me anyway. But the single life at seventy eight is the best. I promise. Love it. That's great. Maybe for you, Grace. Well, I don't mean I don't mean without having a husband because I've had mine and he was the best, never could replace that. And the thing I learned from loss is that you do live through it. Even when you've got the best guy in this universe, it you do live through it. You learn to live to to there are other things in life that you can bring in to take that place. Yeah. Yeah. You've been really sweet. I've seen you have some little side conversations with Memo K. A few times since and just helping her through this loss. And so that's a real gift that you could you've been able to share that and help her through that. Thank you. It's not easy. I know. You know, but you don't have to make it hard. You just have to go on with your life. Yeah, that's good. I want to say another thing. I decided when Dennis and I were by ourselves that I made I made a commitment at that point that to him that if I dated, he would have a carousel mother. If I dated, then that would mean he might have a stepdad. If I and and and he already had peer pressure. He had a divorced mom and dad. He did not need another thing. So I made a commitment then that I was not going to date because I didn't want him to deal with all of those things. Yes. In his life. And I recommend that highly because he is a man of God today, not because of me, but because of God and Jesus Christ. But I have never regretted that. Yeah. For one second. That's great. And I'm by myself. And you can drive to Dallas. And I can go to Dallas anytime I love it. New Orleans, too. That's right. That's right. Thank you. Well, I think all of us here have cared for aging parents in our homes. And although you do it out of love, it is stressful and there's just no way around it. And I think support from your peers is really important at that time. But I'll tell a little story on my sister-in-law. She told me, well, I know some days it's just you just want to scream. And she said, that's what I used to do. I would leave the house and on the way to the office, I would just scream. And I said, well, Joe, that's good advice, except I have Susan in the car with me. I'm going to school. So I don't think that one will work. But she did have some other suggestions that did work. Let me just add that of the four of us sitting here, I am the only one still blessed to have my husband. And I thank God for that every day. That's great. And I think great advice. Sometimes you just need to go get in your car and scream or go to the woods. Maybe you don't want to do it at home. No, don't do it at home. Hold it at home. That's great. OK, so I want to hear. This is a question that came in. It's just healthy habits. And I think we've talked about it a little bit spiritually, physically, mentally, that I've just helped you live, live to the age you are now and doing the things that you are. So are there any kind of healthy habits that you feel like you implemented early on or have implemented later in life that have been helpful? I do Bible reading and especially when I work, I wake up in the middle of the night, which I do a lot of times like I wake up like three o'clock, that's my best time to wake up is three o'clock. And I do Bible crosswords and they're very hard to find. But I find them. And it's amazing when you do a Bible crossword. How much, you know, it's amazing. Wow. And how much you learn. Well, I want to say something about that, because one thing I have noticed in talking to my mom about waking up in the middle of the night, I think for the younger generation, a lot of times we all worry about, oh, we don't get to sleep and we don't have enough sleep and sleep is really important. So I'm not saying it's not. But it's like a big problem to be solved when I've noticed my mom wakes up in the middle of the night and she reads, she pulls out her mouth or reads a book or plays a crossword and then you go back to sleep and kind of get on with your with your night. And so I think that's good advice. I think sometimes the worrying about not sleeping makes us not sleep more where we could just say like, well, it's OK. Sometimes I stay up late and now I sleep really well. I sleep all through the night. But I remember when I was younger, I would stay up till two in the morning reading and I guess at that time I didn't really worry about it or think about it that much. But now it feels like this younger generation, it's like a really big deal if they don't get enough sleep. And I do think, like I said, sleep is an important part. Well, they say that the health people say that you've got to get so many hours of sleep at night or it's not going to be healthy for you. But I have not found that to be the case. Either I have not found that my health is is affected at all because of lack of sleep, because I have spent my years working all through the night, not getting any sleep. Now, I cherish the sleep that I get on Saturday night after a wedding is over with because and it's the best sleep that I ever ever had hard work. Best, the best, the best, the best. But I don't worry about I just I know people say, Grace, you got to sleep. I said, no, you don't understand. I can lay down for an hour. I may be working on a cake and lay down for an hour and sleep and wake back up because I can tell I don't use an alarm clock of any kind ever. Well, I just tell myself I want to get up at five o'clock. OK. And I do. And but I would lay down for a minute, rest. Get back up after an hour and I'm just fresh as a day. Keep going. Just keep right. Going going. So it's possible to do. Yes. And everybody has different sleep needs. But I have noticed with all of you is that, you know, if you need to stay up late and get the job done, you just do it. Yes. Yes. Or if you wake up in the night, you read and read and then fall back to sleep. That's great. But as far as habits are concerned, I told Joel many times, if I didn't have a dog to care for, I'd probably sit a whole lot more than I do. Yeah. But that little dog keeps me getting up, feeding it, doing whatever it needs and walking it. And it's I feel it's a really it's definitely forces me into doing something that I probably wouldn't do. So in at our age, if you're capable and you're ambulatory, I think something like that is really important. Yeah. And then, of course, if you do a lot of traveling, you have to worry about who's going to care for it, but it's still something that I think is important. It really is important to me anyway. I think that's good. There's studies that come out that talk about, of course, importance of pets and also for girls, like even for young girls, how important it is to have a dog that they can come home to and that can love them unconditionally, even through through high school or middle school or all that. So I think that's a really important part of all different phases of life. Something that you can love on and it loves you unconditionally. It's great. And really greets you at the door and is happy to see you. There's nobody else there except your dog. And that's pretty kind of cool. That's great. I love it. I think the most important thing in aging after you after you retire is just having a purpose. Just if you if you don't have a purpose, especially today, when there are so many things that you can occupy your brain with, you can be on Facebook for three hours and it can pass like in 30 minutes in your brain. So those things can just completely consume where you are. But if you have a purpose when you get up every morning, that's why I get up every morning and put on my makeup and get dressed for the day. Anticipating whatever is going to happen. And I may have something planned. I may not have something planned, but I'm I'm always thinking ahead to that point that there may be something that will happen that I want to be ready for when it does. Oh, so that's a good just good advice right there. OK. Yeah. Just be ready. Yeah. That's so good. I think go ahead. No, no, no, no, no, I know I did it last time. I am a real advocate for eating clean. And as we age or as we have aged, I didn't used to eat clean, but I am eating clean now and we are what we eat. Yeah. Mm hmm. And I would encourage anybody to watch what they eat. I think that's really good. That's so important just that I think we've all become more aware of that, of how what we're eating is actually fueling our body. It's not just about enjoyment in which there is enjoyment to food and all of you. I had lunch with you all and everybody enjoys food and all that. So it's not about that, but there is. Most of us are good cooks, too. And we'd love to eat the bad stuff. OK, last question. This is just to wrap up. So what do you what do you know? What do you know that you wish younger generations knew that makes up a good life? Through through my travels and living in different areas and a lot of people do and a lot of people don't. There's a lot of people that will travel through your life. That may be really, really important to you when you're young. And it's for some sort of situation or moves. People come and go in your life and it's not a tragedy. I think it's a plan that you're going to learn from everyone that you associate with. I think the best thing to do is to associate with the best people that you can and that that are as spiritual as you are or choose to be or want to be. And if you're not, then choose those that are. And later in life, I've found more, much more spirituality than I've had in my earlier years. My mother and my grandmother were very spiritual, but we lost lost that along the way and got it back and it's in full force. And that's important. But there's so many people that come and go in your life. And when you're young, you don't realize that you think your best friend is going to be your best friend forever and they're not. And if they are, then that's a blessing on you and your friend. I have two friends that I associate with now that I went to high school with. And it's a rare occurrence that we talk to each other. But when we do, it's like we haven't talked. We just talked yesterday. But the close people that you're with today are your are your your there are your rocks. Yeah. And you need that. And I'm so blessed to have the rocks that I have. I think that's great. That's a good word to know that people might come and go out in your life. And that that could be part of the plan as well. It doesn't have to be forever. I think sometimes when we lose a friendship or relationship, you can think, you know, what went wrong? And sometimes things do go wrong, but that's a part of your learning and growing as well. And I think as your children grow and you meet new parents or mothers, that that's how the life cycle goes. Yeah. So it's OK to let relationships go and move to a different phase. That's great. Love that. Having and maintaining a relationship Jesus crossed. He is running after us. He's running after everyone. He wants us. And we should do whatever it takes to maintain a relationship with him. Whether it's a regular routine that we get up and at seven o'clock and read and pray or go to bed at night and read and pray or do it at noon, read and pray. A relationship with Jesus Christ is the is the utmost, it's the it's the most important thing. In my opinion. It's great. Well, this is a principle that was drummed into me by my mother. And that was to put other people first. This is the key to relationships throughout your entire life. And the way people will think of you is when you were kind to them. I always refer to it as put yourself in your hip pocket and just think of other people first. And that's the I think that's the key to relationships all through life. I would agree. That's so good. Thank you for that. I think that we got it wrong for a little bit of the self confidence and the self esteem and the self everything revolving around self. And I think, you know, as social media played into it, too, it's like your page and your pictures and your this and but it life is about surrender and serving others and loving others and finding that purpose and meaning. And that's where you find your purpose and peace. Yeah. Yeah. I've heard this saying that like there's nothing different than thinking about yourself. If you think too much about yourself, you're going to worry. You're going to be anxious. You're going to be fearful. The more you think about yourself, the worse you're actually off. But when you think about others, there is peace and joy. That's right. Yeah, you all live that really well. All of you. Carol. Well, I have all of my life kind of been a perfectionist to the point that I have wrapped a birthday present and looked at it and thought, I don't like the way that looks torn the paper off and done it again. And as I've aged, I have learned a little bit to not be such a perfectionist. Everything does not have to be perfect. You don't have to do things over to make them perfect. If they're done and done acceptably, then leave it and move on. There are more important things to tend to. That's great. That's awesome. Wow. All right. I feel like I there's so much here and we could go on for hours and hours. There may have to be a part two after this, after everyone listens and sensing more questions, but thank you so much. This was a real gift and I love every single one of you. So great. It's such a pleasure. So fun. So fun. I'm so grateful to have every single one of you in my life and grateful to get to share you with the world through this podcast. So thank you. Thank you. Thank you, Kory.