Giggling about fainting, dick pills, and weed pens

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By the way, hanging out with us is not fun because we will bring something up, start laughing, and then one of us goes, hold it, save it for camera. So then Dez is sitting there like, uh... It's also not fun hanging out with us if you're not us. I thought you could say in general. Yeah, in general, it's not because Dez was around, Joe was around, and they were just like not speaking. And I was like, I'm performing with my friend right now. My thing is like, we're obviously laughing, just add to the laugh. Just keep laughing with us. Throw in a joke. Why don't you participate? No, why don't you tag it up? But anyway, so we're hanging out with Hannah, we're laughing hysterically, and then something happens and she looks over at a table and there's a book on the table. And she was... Surely someone has been in here, broken in, stolen your stuff, and rubbed it with other people's things. There was a Colleen Hoover book sitting on the table, which I know a man's not reading that book. Hi, here's the thing. Sorry that I want to better myself in 2026, and I just was like, I don't read. I never read. I should read. And sometimes I get put on book talk and a girl was like, this is the best book ever. And the only reason I picked the book I picked is because there's a movie coming out. This is my question. How much have you actually read it? No, I just got it. But when you saw it, it had just been delivered. I looked at it, looked up at her, and I looked at you like I caught you doing crystal meth. Like I was like, do you want to talk about this? Like, does your family know? What kind of double life have you been living? Do I know who you are? Hannah literally looks at it and goes, what the heck is this? No, I got like disturbed because everything I know about you, I question now. I didn't know what you were talking about. And I was like, oh my God, what? And I was like, that's a book. I don't know. I envisioned you if you were to read, it would be a picture book or a pop culture magazine or self help. Or as we like to do, we just watch something on Netflix and put close captions and that's reading. You want to know what it really boils down to? I haven't felt this and I love feeling better than people. Yeah. It's like one of my favorite feelings. I haven't felt that in a while when it when it comes to movies and books. One of my favorite things to say is, well, I read the book and I haven't been able to say it in about 15 years. So I was like, oh, I know this movie is coming out. I'm going to read the book so that when I see the movie, I can be like, well, it was a little different from the book. Yeah. People who say that are so fucking smart, but I'm that person, you know, when they always go, oh, have you read the book? You have a couple options. Yeah. You can just say yes and lie and pray they don't have a follow up question. Or you say no and then they like explain the book to you, which you don't want either. Or you do what I do and I go skimmed. Skimmed. I saw the first couple of pairs. The last time I've legitimately been able to say, yeah, I read the book was The Bridge to Terror, Bethia in 2007. I didn't say when I was a young girl, I was an avid reader, but my mom read it to me. Everyone's like, what's the second episode going to be? The cool thing now, it's kind of like, okay, it's like a peer, I think for celebrities who are really good looking and want like respect. Like, you know how like Nickelodeon kids will like do like a slutty movie to be like, I'm an adult now. What is that? It's rebranding baby rebranding 101. Yeah. Why do they always, why are people so... People so mad when people grow up. Yeah, when like Sabrina Carpenter, I feel like is like a really good example where she's like, I'm not on the Disney Channel anymore. Also, people don't choose where they start. Like just because you start somewhere, because that's your opportunity doesn't mean it's like should be engraved in your... People like putting people in a box. Exactly. So there's all these like hot girls recently that are launching book clubs to show that they can read. I love it. One of them, Kaya Gerber. Okay. And Olivia Ponton. Okay. All gorgeous stunning models who were like, by the way, joined my book club and you're like, oh, she's multi-dimensional. Are they meeting? Or this is like on the internet. Let's be honest, I've never clicked into a book club. Right. So you don't know the actual logistics of it. And the logistics trust me out. So I'm not sure. Maybe I'll join Kaya Gerber's book club. You never know. Or maybe you... We're not doing a gig the book club. We don't have the band with. No, that's actually, then I've really lost the plot. Actually, my mom, who's retired right now, has a book club. Actually, she has a knitting club and another club. She said knitting is the best gossip. Like she gets there. All they do is gossip and she couldn't go the last week and she's like, I have so much to be... She's so behind. She's so behind on the gossip. Wait, speaking of clubs, have you seen the Ashley Tisdale cut article? Okay. Like... That was the book I wanted to read this week. The cut article. The cut has such small font. It intimidates me. Did you read the article? I didn't read... I skimmed. I skimmed up. I skimmed the article. I didn't read the full article, but I read like a thing that did like a synopsis of it. And it was basically like, Ashley didn't say any names. She basically said how she felt after having a baby and then joining a mom club and how it eventually turned into... Was it a club or just like a friend group? It was like a friend group. Look, I'm not like fully abreast. I don't know what moms are up to. The mom club situation, but I know that that is like a real thing now. Like did you have to get hazed to get in? People will have like Facebook groups in their area and it's like, if you live in this like neighborhood, this is the group. And then you can like ask the moms different stuff. It sounds good in theory. Yes. But in reality... Yeah, a friend group. This is why we only have each other as friends. Like a friend group is so intense because there's just so many different personalities. Add in your hormonal. You like just had a baby. You hate your husband. You probably hate your husband. So she writes this article, which actually I thought was cool of the cut to like have different celebrities like right. I love an op-ed. Yeah, like I think that's fun. So she writes this article. She basically, she does not say anyone's name. She does not say the reason, like the main reason why she left. She puts it all on herself like that she didn't feel included. There were certain like situations where she felt like left out. The thing I didn't feel included is saying like I was bullied. Yes. Hillary. This is our knitting club right now. Hillary Duff's husband. First of all, nobody's talking about the fact that we're talking about a feud between Ashley Tisdale, Sharpeh Evans and Hillary Duff, Lazy Maguire. Like I don't think we're putting enough emphasis on that. Also like, I didn't know Hillary Duff had a husband. She has a husband. She has. Yes. She has a husband and huge Hillary Duff fan. Huge. Love her. Love her stuff. She had a song come out. Let's go. Love her work. I do think and I feel the same way with like reality TV when the ladies get into fights. Anytime a husband jumps in, I'm always like, no, no, no, it's not your like you don't need to. I was like, I'm just gonna post it. Yeah. And like maybe she felt a little hurt and then he felt like, well, I'm going to get involved. He basically posted a comment that like was since deleted, but people obviously screen shot at it saying that Ashley Tisdale is like a narcissist self centered. And like that she was the problem. But Mandy Moore was in this group. There was one other famous person. Oh, the blonde Megan trainer, Megan trainer. Yes. Look at us. I'm like, wait, what was this mom club like though? What did you guys talk about before it failed? Okay, I have multiple thoughts. First of all, who did add? Do you think Ashley got really hurt and she was like, maybe other moms will relate and feel less alone. Other mom groups. Yes. And at that level, you posting something and not naming names. People know it. People look people know people know and even we may not know, right, but they know. And it was enough to call cause a kerfuffle in the community. Ashley writing the article. I have to read the article. She knew what she was doing. Yeah. Like and I don't think it was bad. She's hurt. She was hurt and she wanted to express that she was hurt. Okay. You know what this needs? You can host it. Let's get the girls together and let's talk it out. You know what it needs? You know what rather than reunions, I think we should start doing and we'll bring this up to Hulu or Netflix or anyone who's interested. We should start doing more of like a judge duty thing. Okay. That's crazy. You brought that up because you know, people always DM us with like issues and stuff. I'd love to like bring it on and like they're fighting and we are, we will like pick size. I think you said on the pod the other day, like if you're going to DM page about your boyfriend, it's done. I got so many DMs like, okay, I know I should be doing this, but just this one situation. What do you think? And I'm like, leave him. You, I feel like you were judge Judy in another life. Yeah. Because yeah. Have you used to watch judge Judy all the time with my grandma and when you like stayed home from school. I was just like, this bitch gets it. By the way, back to my mom's book club. Um, she said it's the funniest thing ever because they all drink during it. So you read the book and then you go to someone's house and you talk about the book. So, and you have like a month, it's once a month. So the months are in like different people choose the book. So like she'll be like, oh, this month we're reading this, but now this character is in this book club. Are there any times where you're like didn't read it? That's the thing. I'm not going to name names, but you know who you are. Okay. So one of the moms is just there for the alcohol, but it is at her house. So everyone lets it go. Like she hosts, she hosts, but then every now and then she gets a little too drunk and starts getting into opinions of the book. And they're like, we know you didn't read it. You've never read a book and she's like, but I disagree with your opinion. A classic 10th grade page. And you know, guess who's the most fun. She is, she is. But her husband is built on having opinions with no knowledge. I think people have assay opinions on like how to do reality TV. And I was like, you just have to have a strong opinion, whether you care or not. That's how you're successful. Just get an opinion and lean into it. Even if you're wrong. Even people asking like advice on podcasting. I'm like, I don't know what other people do, but I know that what we do. We will fight it to the death. She's not suggested. So this book club, her husband reads everything and loves it and it's at their house, but she's, you know, drinking. This is couples. Oh, couples. So they all come. Sorry, are you a pair of swingers? It's giving, swinging seasons. It's middle of the day too. And all these couples come together and they've read the book. And my mom, you know, she's a teacher. She's an avid reader. She's read it. She has an analysis. She's marked pages. My dad tries to, he always falls. Every month he says, I'm going to read it. He falls off, which, you know, like many of us, it's where I get it from. So yeah, book clubs, clubs, I think are back. Bring clubs back. Just trying to rack my brain on what fucking club I would ever join at the ripe age of 33. There's not a single club you could get me into right now. Actually, you're right. When I was younger, I did love like a volleyball club for socializing. Yeah. You've been really going to like Pilates classes though. And I feel like you have like friends there. Like, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, the people, like whatever place you go to, you know, people there. Let's just say when I walk in, when I walk in, I get the, You get a knot. I get a knot. And then someone's a little like, I'm like, get the bathrooms over there. Like, I know what's going on. Yeah. But you have to say I did faint in my last Pilates class. No one knows. Because I'm never telling the story because it's so me. I'm like, when you told me the story, I was shocked. So I also, I think I, I hadn't eaten. And when I say I hadn't eaten, I think I just had one breakfast. Like, I think it was like a round lunch time. I was like, all I had was a burrito. And then I had some french toast. So you had breakfast, lunch and dinner. And I showed up, but I was feeling kind of hungry, but I was like, I could do this. And the teacher was tough. So it's like a regular Pilates class or is this like a Pilates like fusion? Okay. I've never done this kind. There's, you know, there's the second machine. It's called like the octagon or something. It's called like the guillotine. And it has like fur. The one that has the bar thing. Yeah. The fur things for your like, yeah. Handcuffs. And I was just like, I'm about to get fucked up. Like I knew it. I was sponsored by Ugg Australia. This is how I knew I was going to get fucked up because the teacher was like gorgeous, skinny and pregnant. I would have walked out. The motivation just inside that woman's pinky. I could never relate. She had two abs above her belly and she looked at me and I said, you're about to be disgusted by what's going to happen. She was like, and how far along are you? And I was like, I'm supposed to burrito. So imagine you accidentally go to like a Lamaze Pilates class. What is that? I mean, I made that up. But like Lamaze is like when you go and like learn how to breathe when you're like in first. Oh, yes. Yes. I'm sure they're somewhere in California. They have like Pilates slash Lamaze. You just know, like, and also she was like nine months and she was just in there and it was like her fourth class of the day. And she's like, good morning. How are you? And I was like, just like by her head. She's like, how are you? Take a seat anywhere. She was gorgeous to the point that I was going to ask her like what mascara she used. And I'm like, oh, it's just her natural, her natural lashes. So we start and I was like, our class 45 minutes, 50 minutes. Yeah. And I was, I wanted her to be proud of me. Like, you know, some instructors are like, whatever they think I suck. I don't care for whatever reason. I wanted her to be proud of me. And I wanted her. I mean, she literally should be at home with her baby and she's with me. So there was another girl in the class. So it ends up, it was supposed to be a full class, just two girls. So you know, yeah, I got into it. You had a private Pilates class. Accidentally late. It was. The pregnant lady was instructor. Oh, and then the other girl was like, perfect. Okay. And me. When you told me the story the other day, you made it seem like you were in a mat, like a big class and no one saw you slip out to go pass out. I didn't realize it was you and another person. What were you just like, sorry, I have to go faint alone somewhere. Okay. So the first 30 minutes you do at the guillotine. Okay. And I like did okay. And I was like, kind of feeling myself got a little cocky. Yeah. Go to the second machine and there's this thing called pikes. If you know what a pike is, it's a plank that then you bring your butt up in the air, like a triangle on your head down. Yeah. And we just kept doing pikes. Like to the point where I was like, this is how I die. And the blood is like rushing to your head. The blood is rushing to my head. So I think I was like shaking my head. So then we get up and we have to put our leg on this wooden. This is the contraptions are being, I was like, who, what sick fuck invented this? It's a guy invented Pilates Joe. Joseph. Yeah. So it's this is that his name, Joseph Pilates, Joseph Pilates. He's Italian. Joey Pilates. So it's this wooden thing. Have you ever seen that swivels? So you have to put your foot on this thing that swivels and then put your leg on the machine and try to keep your foot from swiveling. That threw me into a tailspin. I felt really out of control. And the next thing you know, I started to get lightheaded. And by the way, it's me and one other girl. And she's, and also it was the kind of thing where like, you know, you want to do it right, but you literally can't. And then the instructor is like lifting. I'm like, I know what I should be doing. I literally can't do this right now. So I'm like, Also, once one body parts start shaking, you're like, and I'm done for it. Like you can't, I can't undo that. Also, body parts are shaking that aren't even working hard. So I'm like fully like a baby deer. Just trying to do this exercise. And then I think I scared myself because I was like, I'm scared. And then I got lightheaded. And then I started having like a mini panic attack. And then you know, you're scared, you're going to pass out. Yeah. And then you know, when you're watching yourself have a panic attack. Yeah. You're like, no one's noticing that inside. I'm dying. No, there's some, did your vision go? That's always like my first indication. Yeah. It always like, wow. So in that moment, I had a bunch of different voices. I said, how to suck it up. You're doing Pilates. Yeah. A pregnant lady is bossing around. You could do this. Then a part of me was like, call 911. Call the police. You just start smiling like Lenore. You're like, it hurts less if you smile. Do you know what I actually did? Now I remember because I blacked it out. I started just messing with my socks. I started getting off the machine just messing with my socks. Yeah. Like, oh, I'm just like fixing something. Yeah. My sock is like, did you have water? Yeah. But it was also like the other girl was fine. I mean, the other girl was like breezing. She was like, this is easy. So I mess with both my socks. I've ran out of sock options. I can't think of another sock to mess with. And I know the instructor. It's not like I'm in a big class. Some finance bro should come out with a line of socks and name it sock options, like stock options. Anyway, you know me later about it. Okay. So you're like, I've fiddled with enough socks. I need a game plan here. So I just go, I've got the bathroom. Yeah. So how many minutes are left in the class at this point? You know, you don't even, you're like, this could be another hour. I think there was like 20 minutes left. Okay. So I go to the bathroom, I shut the door and I just fall on the floor. Yeah. Best feeling in my life. Yeah. Laying down on a cold strangers bathroom floor. Nothing like it. I mean, I was at peace for the first time in my life. Someone say my whole life went flashing by me. I saw me as a child playing with butterflies. Now imagine. I do one redhead saying, Oh, do you feel like you're going to pass out head towards the stage in that exact moment? And you're like, all I want is a tile floor. I'm lying there and I just, I'm getting my breath. And in that moment, I know if I can get it together pretty quick, I still can get out of this without making a scene. Like, why wouldn't you just say, guys, I'm going to literally pass out because I have, that is such a great question. I could not admit that like I was falling apart. Interesting. And that's my childhood. See, okay. Cause then I'm, I'm not a good person. This is where we're different. Yeah. And then when something traumatic happens to us, you're like, no, it didn't. No one noticed it. I'll deal with it later where I'm like, um, people should be arrested because I'm feeling attacked. Well, it's funny. You're like, they're the problem or me. I'm like, I'm the problem. And I don't want to like, you're the problem. I'm, I'm the one who has an issue. So I'm laying down and then I realized like, I can tell her I have my period. Like I can start coming up with all these lies. Like God forbid I just say I got lightheaded in your class. I'm sorry. I'm like, I have a reputation. I'll pulled in this town. I get up and I start washing my hands and I realize what I feel. Okay. Okay. Like I think, you know how like, cold water actually on your wrist, probably. I also feel like I didn't go into a full panic attack. You know when you feel it coming on and you're like, not today, motherfucker. I've had that before where you feel it. And then you go, I can get out of it now. And I wish I could give you guys good advice besides laying on the bathroom floor, but that's what did it for me. Yeah. Get back. Like nothing happened. I just kept going. Wow. You just had like, then you were just like dehydrated. You weren't like having. I'm starving. I ate a french fry. I came back. Wait, did you tell your mom this story? No, I don't want her being worried about me. Oh my God. But she'll call me afterwards. She'll call me afterwards and I would be like, mom, that's why I have to eat seven meals a day. So I don't faint. And that's why I don't go to parties anymore. You know. But anyway. Anyhow. We get it. Making tax digital can sometimes feel daunting, but with Zeros HMRC recognized software, you quickly get to feeling confident. If you're a sole trader or landlord whose income tax is going digital, not only is Zeros MTD ready, it also gives you better control of your finances, like having the clear financial visibility you need every quarter to avoid end of year tax surprises. Change the way you see MTD. Change MTD ready with zero. This is your business. This is your business, supercharged with the help of zero counting software. These are your numbers. These are your numbers, sorted with the help of zero counting software. This is you. This is you, taking business where you want it, with the help of zero counting software. This is your business, supercharged with the help of zero and having your numbers sorted all at the same time, so you can finally focus on taking business where you want it. Charge your business today with the help of zero. Search Siri with an X! You turned your dating app for pets into a business, which just turned over its first billion. You turned around the fortunes of a failing football club, politely turned down a Nobel Peace Prize, and turned up on Mars in your own reusable rocket. While struggling to turn on the dishwasher, there's more to imagine when you listen. Discover business development titles on Audible. Subscription required. See audible.co.uk for terms. Oh, wait, can we just... You have something? Well, I just wanna talk about men. Yeah, we built a whole career on it. And I feel like this is one thing we haven't talked about men, which is hard to find, but their bathroom routines. Their bathroom breaks. Their bathroom breaks. Cause I didn't realize this was a thing. Some men are fast with it, but there is an epidemic out there. When men take poops, they make it... A ritual. A ritual. They make it like main character energy. They take a whole business day. They put it like on their calendar. You can't contact them during it. And they also... They do this thing where they slip away. Yes. You know, they're like, I'll be right back. And you're like, okay. And then four hours go by. And you're like, wait, what happened in there? And I feel like mothers probably deal with this where you have kids running around and your husband disappears cause he has to poop. Which I'm gonna be honest. I can't tell you the last time I took a regular... I can't tell you. A healthy stool. How nice must it be? It's so fucking easy being a man. They're regulated. Their hormones are never going crazy. But this is the thing, they're not... In my head, it's like, oh, they're taking these huge massive poops that take forever. They're on their phones. They're just getting away from... Yeah. Which, yes, that's what I did during Pilates. Men do it all the time. I even think like at work, first of all, they're getting paid more anyway. And then they're spending two hours in the bathroom at work. Which I do commend to anyone that can go to the bathroom in a public place. Like, talk about having a panic attack. I'll have to lay on the floor. I remember growing up, even being in school. Like, I've went home sick before because I'm like, mom, I really just have to go to the bathroom. So I'm in a lot of public bathrooms. Wait, I love that you had to go home sick. Or to be. There are so many times in high school, like that my mom would be at work and I would call my grandma and I'd be like, you have to call the school. And she'd be like, I'm not even your mom. And I'd be like, but now. My head public bathrooms, like, that's where I go off. Like, I'm not disrespecting... No, I get too nervous. I also feel like that's a bathroom before. And I have to, but I can't hold it in. I'm just, I can't be fake. Sorry, I can't be fake. Sorry, I'm real. I also, I don't know. I feel like with the men with the bathroom, it's, they get respect when they, like you give them respect. It's like football Sundays. Yes. You're like, oh, sorry. My mom had to use the bathroom with the door open, just in case a kid like wanted to jump off a table. Right. Got for bed. I couldn't even, as a child, I can't even remember my mom using the bathroom. My mom wasn't allowed to use it. I don't think she ever showered. I think for 14 years, the woman stayed unshowered and never peed. My recent issue, cause I have a lot of public, I'm always in airports, I'm at restaurants, whatever. I always run into a gigler in the bathroom. Stop. It happens every day. I was like, and also I'm always talking. So everyone's like, we can hear you. I was going to say, you're always talking. So people can recognize your voice. Where I feel like when I'm out, they're like, is that? I said, and I'm like, yes. And also if I'm with Dez, he's like big and white hair. So he's like a shining light in everyone's season. But like even yesterday at the Pilates class, on the bathroom, well, first of all, I can't find the bathroom. I'm like walking down the hallways and someone's like, hey, I'm a gigler. The bathroom's over here. You dumb fuck. And I was like, I love you. Thank you. Did you tell you that you fainted in it? That was pre-faint. Got it. So when you went back into the room to the pregnant instructor or the other girl taking me class, we're like, are you OK? No, I didn't make eye contact. I just kept going. Oh, so they had no idea? No. OK. Actually, it's funny. My memory, they probably were like, yeah, that girl had a full breakdown mid class and then didn't say anything. But no, I go into the bathroom before the class and this gigler was like so nice. We were laughing, having fun. And then I'm like, OK, I'm going to go in the stall. And then we have to use the bathroom next to each other. And obviously, it's like pre-Pilates. pilates, you gotta get stuff out. And I'm like, oh my god, am I ruining, like she got out of this pool and then I farted in the bathroom. She's texting her friends. She was like, I just met Hannah and she's shitting next to me. That's lit. Everyone has a, if you have a bathroom story with me, that's a, I don't know, I think it's a beautiful connection. Wait, I was just looking at our notes and sometimes like Grace will write notes too. Like, oh, this was like funny I saw, like you guys should talk about it. But she wrote a note and I'm like, I was writing in Grace's notes. Oh, cause I was like, this is so not Grace. She wrote, when people mistreat you, it's because they think you're better than them and they want to bring you down to their level. No matter how much status or power they have, they are insecure. Grace, are you going this way? I literally read it and I was like, Grace will never, first of all, Grace doesn't care what other people think about her. Grace? At all. At all. That was our mental health moment. Oh, okay, sorry. I didn't mean to ruin it, but what a word salad. Cause I was real, I almost texted Grace this morning like, hey, is everything good at home? No, it was, if people mistreat you, no matter. Seriously. But when you're treated bad, you sometimes don't realize that it is just them projecting on you. And but then, you know, when you're treated bad by like a boss or someone who's like considered, you know, higher status or cooler, like in high school, someone who thinks they're cool is mean to you. And you actually realize it's cause they see something in you that you don't see in yourself and they're insecure and they want to bring you down. And that's honestly the biggest compliment ever. And now that I think every time I felt someone was mean to me, I'm like, that was a compliment. Yeah, it is. It really is. Like if no one's mean to you, like you're not doing enough. Yeah. If no one's mean to you, sounds like you're being mean to people. You're the meanie. You're the meanie. I saw a quote that was like, I don't think I'm better than you. You think I'm better than you. And that's why you hate everything I do. And I was like, oh my God, yes. Oh my God. Well, also at the end of the day, most people aren't fucking thinking about you. So everyone needs to come, not in general. I'm saying like, if you're obsessed with other people, how they think about you, it's like they're worrying about themselves. That's why I like, actually, not to bring it back to Pilates, but whenever I do go to a Pilates class, or any workout class, or just the gym, I'm like going in and I'm like, oh my God, everyone's looking at me because I'm doing it wrong, or like everyone is so judging me or whatever, but they're not, because everyone's thinking about themselves. Exactly. And it's like no one's thinking about me, because I'm thinking about me. Exactly. And our last mental health moment of the day, which Grace actually did write, Chelsea Handler, oh no, I had another one I added. Why are you writing under Grace? Like, I just... Well, Grace wrote something kind of inspirational and then I wanted to keep it all together. Look, don't worry about my methods, the methods to my madness. This is a real mic drop. Okay. How can it be unrealistic if other people have it? I reposted that on TikTok. Oh, sorry. Oh, so you actually wrote it. Yeah, I wrote it. The last one showed to Chelsea Handler, who just, what? That just made me think of like, that's why you like saying, oh, I read the book, because it feels like you wrote it. Like, you wouldn't get it, because you haven't read this masterpiece, you've only experienced the movie. I wrote it with the author. It was a cover. It feels like... It was a collab. I was asked like what I wanted to put in. You're like, I'm the only person that's ever read this book. Okay, sorry, keep going. Chelsea said, we neglect to reflect about how far we've come. Don't forget your younger self is always with you. That's just a cute moment. Also, I think the world isn't giving enough credit to now only women host award shows. Yeah, because we are socially aware, and we know how to like be funny without like, hurting people. Yeah. Because we have empathy. I can't wait to watch Nikki Glaser do Golden Globes again. Yeah, Chelsea can do it in her sleep, Nikki can do it in her sleep. It's true. I'm so anxious to see who they get for the Oscars. Because I also feel like no one is even... Like I haven't seen any articles or headlines or anything about how like, women are dominating, hosting, or just... I would say Amy Poehler, except Amy's too busy. Like Amy doesn't want to probably. People still talk about Amy Poehler and Tina Fey. I know. Hosting or presenting. See, they're exhausted. They're like, we can't do this all the time, but you know what I also don't like? The Oscars is a man. They get a man for the Oscars and the two smallest award shows, the gift to the women. Oh, I never thought of that. Because like the last guy I can think of hosting the Oscars. Conan, last Oscars. Oh, he did? Yeah. I don't remember that. We were busy. Did he do a good job? We were busy during that week. I think he, well Conan's like a bully, Conan's fine, he wasn't doing stand up. I feel like the last time a guy hosted it, when I was like, he was funny, it was like Ricky Gervais. They loved it. And they like would never have him back. They like Jimmy Kimmel, they like Trevor Noah. But um. Sorry, did I black out? When the hell did Trevor Noah host the Oscars? I don't remember that at all. There was a time where he hosted like every award show. He was like the guy. But by the way, hosting an award show is very difficult. I think Chelsea's so good at it because she knows everyone for so long. So it's so much easier saying a joke to your friend than a joke to someone who you literally, like I can't believe I'm making eye contact with this person right now. I just think it's funny that like when the men do host, it's like, oh my God, Kevin Hart's hosting. Oh my God, Kevin Hart said no to hosting. And like there's no, it's never like a big deal about, like people I really feel like didn't make a big enough deal that it was Nikki's first time ever hosting an award show. Yeah, and she crushed it. And she crushed it. Like if that was a guy, they'd be like, he is just the best host of all time. The best stand up of all time. Have you seen the Cher interview? She comes out of nowhere. And now we've said it. And just lays down the lot. I'm obsessed with her. If you haven't seen the clip, Cher's on the, what is the name of Dax? Armchair Expert on Dax Shepard's podcast, people love, he does have a great podcast. He always has like good, interesting guests and stuff. And so Kristen Bell was on and Cher was on. And they were talking about like how, what a good relationship they have cause they did like the movie Burlesque. Oh, I forgot about that. And then Dax asked Cher, who would be your dream guy for Kristen? Like who do you think would be better suited with her? Which is him basically saying, I know that you think I'm not good enough for her. And he did say he was like, I know you think she could do better, which I don't disagree with, but who in your head would you like think? And Cher was like, I have no idea. Like I have not thought of a specific person, but then she goes, I trust Kristen so much that if she loves you, there must be something about you that I'm not seeing, which is incredible. If I was Dax, I would have been like, okay. And I gotta go. Cause she's basically saying, if you don't have the greatest dick alive, which you probably don't, you should not be with her. But also I love that I feel like he was too scared to have her on alone. He needed to bring Kristen, cause she's like close with her. To do a one on one. No, I do think it, like I feel like Kristen was like, oh shoot, like is she gonna say an actual person? Like you could tell that Kristen got like a little anxious, like obviously. And then when Cher said it, she like laughed and was like, that was great. And they were like, clip this. This isn't directly pointed at Dax because we love men in the arts, but I just have to say a shout out in general for older. Of all the men that have podcasts, I do enjoy, like I've listened to his, I do enjoy his the most of, sometimes it's like too guyish and I'm almost like, I don't even understand that reference. And I don't even know the fuck you're talking about. Filippi? Yeah. I'm like, okay. What is the Alice? It's like about air conditioning. I almost got stuck in a conversation where men were talking about air conditioning and I was like, I need to get the fuck out of here. You know what they hasn't talked about enough? Is that you can get like boner pills, like the gas station. Like, oh, okay. There's tax on tampons, but let's make sure you can get hard at 7-Eleven. That's inappropriate. Yeah, one thing we need less of is hard men. If you're soft, you're soft for a reason. That's the universe. Sorry, whatever happened to Darwinism? You think Darwinism wanted dick pills at 7-Eleven? No. No, I shouldn't guys say that, like they're really dangerous. Like you should not take this. Because once I saw them and I was like, what is that? What if I actually took it because I thought it was like for UTI. I don't think it would do anything. We'll see. We'll try it later. We'll keep you guys posted. Can it reach Triceya'L'L'os? That's it. This is your business. This is your business supercharged with the help of zero counting software. These are your numbers. These are your numbers sorted with the help of zero counting software. This is you. This is you taking business we want with the help of zero counting software. This is your business supercharged with the help of zero and having your numbers sorted all at the same time So you can finally focus on taking business where you want to! Supercharge your business today with the help of zero. Search zero with an X! I was gonna say though with men, older men, who do plastic surgery. There's like another level of sickness to it when it comes out. Like it doesn't look good. Because I'm like, first of all, you don't even have societal standards making you have bad plastic surgery. Like women who have bad plastic surgery, I'm like, let her live. She's doing her best. When men get bad plastic surgery, I'm like, you don't even need this and you fucked it up? How did we get here, bro? And some of these... Are you referring to anyone specific? Because I have one person in my head. Not kind of... There's just some guys who are older and looking funky. Like they haven't figured it out yet. Like Bradley Cooper. Bradley Cooper. I feel like he did something and I'm like, they messed it up a little. You're just something slightly off. As someone who loves the look of an older man. I want to see those wrinkles. I want to see the pain you've been through in your life. I want you to look tired. Bradley Cooper has been hot for like 30 years. But Bradley would be so hot as an older chiseled, tired man. You don't need to be fresh-faced at 62. No. Especially as a man. If you're fresh-faced at 62, you didn't work. No. And I want some grays. I want salt and pepper hair. I want you to walk kind of slower. Yes, I want you to have like a limp because you need a hip replacement. I want you to not be that quick so I can get away. Someone said flirting in your 30s is like, so is your lower back? Okay. Wait. People don't talk about how intimate it is. Being like, where's your pain? Do you have sciatica yet? How's your L4? What is love with men loving sciatica? It's... I feel like that's like a word they learned and they just have been running with it. It's like crypto. No. It's body version of crypto. I haven't heard the word sciatica ever in my life. And I feel like in the past two years, I've had multiple men that I don't even really know that they're like my sciatica. Exactly. What is that? Also, when you're younger, remember Ariana Grande? I almost said Ariana. But you just did she dye her hair brown. Thank God. Yep. But Ariana said, you know, you got me walk inside to side. So when you're younger, if anything feels anything after you're like, oh, he blew my brains out. Where now it's like my lower back. Oh, that's what that means. Yeah, he's got me walk inside to side. What did you think it meant? I have no idea. I thought it just rhymed. Side to side. Side rhymes with whatever the line was. I don't like to look into the lyrics really. I mean, thank God we did it. That's a personal thing for them. Thank God we did it. The stuff that we were singing when we were nine years old. Did you watch any of the New Year's stuff? Do you know that this is the first year I didn't and I was home. Like I didn't go out this year for New Year's and it was the first time I didn't watch any New Year's Eve like. Why do you think? How does that make you feel? Why do I think? I think, well, I think it's so it's for older people and I do feel like traditional like TV. Like if, okay, here's a great example. If Netflix had one. Yes. I think it was the New Year's Eve thing and it was like a bunch of celebrities that I know who they are and they're famous right now. Currently, I probably would have watched it, but sometimes like like traditional news places that do like a New Year's Eve thing every year. They have so much so many rules because it's like, yeah, this is network TV. Like you can't say that there. It could be kids watching or like we have laws and stuff like that. So it's just like not as unhinged as I feel like it could be. I like to play there's like the CNN one, there's the CBS and then ABC or something. I don't know, but anyone would go to commercial. Then I go to the other one and then it was like that one's in a commercial and then I was like. I do like thinking that secretly Ryan Seacrest and Andy Cohen and Anderson Cooper are like in a group chat like the day before New Year's Eve, like you're going down. I like to think that there's some kind of because they are filming right next to each other right there in Times Square. I think also booking the gig. They're probably. Now that I think about it, there's just so many studios. They're probably in this. Are they maybe building? They could be. That's the real idea. I want to watch. Um, but I feel like also it's a hard gig to book like because who wants to be performing on New Year's Eve on New Year's Eve in the freezing cold and Times Square. Yeah, people are they rip people apart if they lip sync and then they don't lip sync. Okay, I have a really hot take that is probably going to be rude. If you go to Times Square and you're not hosting the New Year's Eve show, you're there as a patron of the Times Square New Year's Eve. You should not be allowed to vote. Pitch because in what world do you have the same common sense or reasoning as the rest of America? Pages or Bo those are the people I was talking about last episode, which you guys can listen to if you haven't on Monday about some people just enjoy. What? Events. What the fuck was that? Imagine like being so excited to be like, I'm going to go to Times Square for New Year's and stand there. It's going to be awesome. Like I wish I could get a high from that. These people are jacked up like it brings some joy. No, there's something a miscon on there. Yeah, there's something weird happening. You're telling me there's that many people that electively it's fucking freezing. And you can't once you leave, you can't come back. So you're not only signing up for it to be freezing for hours, but you're also going to give yourself a UTI. 100% that someone they're just spreading like. No, they literally interviewed the front row and they were like, I've been here and I'm wearing a diaper and the one guy was like, I'm wearing a pad and everyone in the comments was like, you don't have to know that's not you've peed your pants. Yeah, like no pad in the world is soaking up your pants. And not to be like an annoying New Yorker but I used to live don't put all those right by Times Square in Hell's Kitchen. And at one point like I had to get to my place and they were like you can't go because it was like the day and I was like no I live there and they're like you can't cross this and I'm like, I can't get to my house and it was like took like 30 minutes of talking to different cops to try to get to my apartment because my ID said like an old apartment from the year before and it was I like couldn't get home. Don't get me started on the parades in New York City the amount of times I've been like but I live here and they're like, no. Also I had a epiphany the other day that sometimes um sometimes I'm annoying. I think it's like in your 30s you start realizing like in what context just like you have flaws and that's okay I think you're 20s you're trying to be perfect. Yeah, and be like I don't have a lot of flaws then you're trying to like hide your flaws. Then by your 30s you're like yeah that's me. Like I'm so annoying about being from New York. Like I was talking to someone the other day and I could just hear myself talking and I was like shut up like I just got my driver's license like I can't function anywhere but New York. Yeah. And like just like normalizing being like oh that's an annoying side of me that like we'll work on that like New York is your personality. Yeah. I'm trying to think what's like the most annoying thing I've done recently that I've like clocked. Like wow that's annoying as fuck. I feel like in your 20s you ignore it where your 30s you're more open to. Yes. To yourself. Because you're like I'm evolving. There's so many more times in my 30s that in my head I've been like yeah I handled that wrong. That was on me. And that's maturity I think. And that was a bitchy thing to say or like that was just like a rude thing to do. We're in my 20s I'd be like get over it. Can I just say something though like I know we joke that you're mean and rude to everyone. You've never you've never been rude to me. No it's kind of like a persona that like well you want to know what you've never even got mad at me before. No. And you're always like oh I got mad about this you've never gotten like mad. Yeah because I love you. You're like you get away with so much. Oh my god I didn't even. This is so long ago and I forgot to bring it up on the pod. What. So a couple weeks ago there was you know when brandomly on TikTok everyone was getting like videos that like they were like I saw this last week or like I saw this last month or whatever. That happens all the time. I was going through that and there was a TikTok that I had seen before and I I must have seen it in like the middle of the night because I didn't comment on it and I like wanted to this girl made this TikTok and she was like. It's just like very obvious that Paige loves Hannah so much more than Hannah loves Paige and she wasn't even being like mean in it and she was like this is why I think this like I just don't think and she goes like all these explanations. Wait what did she say? I have to find it but I comment. The way Hannah looks at Paige sometimes. And I commented and I was like that fucking bitch. You're like yeah. No people like don't think that we would be friends because we're so different. But what people don't realize is that I don't feel comfortable with people like you. And that's exactly it. I don't feel safe. Don't trust her. I don't trust her. When I see someone who moves like me you go I don't need that energy in my life. No but I think it's a self awareness thing where I'm like I'm annoying about certain things that I should not be annoying about like clothes and shoes and like I have to where you don't you don't care about that stuff so it's almost like an escape of my own brain to be with you. That's why we're with men because occasionally you have something that's like pissing you off and then you say to them and their perspective helps us. Yeah. But occasionally but also with you there was a second where I'm like why did she like me. And then I met one of like your old childhood friends who's like just like me too you like to surround yourself with like people who don't take themselves too seriously your brothers also like me. Who did you meet of my childhood friends. Stephanie. Oh yeah yeah yeah. Like she's outgoing. She's a personality. She's personality. It's not like all your friends are a type of way and I'm like a cold sore. She's the one to knew brought me to and I was like hi. If anything I really don't have any. I would say the closest girlfriend that I have that is like exactly like me. No I don't have any. Do you know it's so funny too. All my friends growing up were always like the pretty girly like hot girl and I would like live by Karece through all her like boy stories because I was scared. Do you know that I'm growing up my best friend from literally kindergarten to college literally my whole life. She was like number one on the softball number one on the basketball team and I was just like yeah she's a fucking athlete. And you love that about her. But we weren't competing. Yeah because I was like oh my God look at her go. Where she didn't give a shit about. Can I tell you my best friend in high school. Well I got to high school and junior year halfway through junior year. Because I transferred from a tennis academy. So middle junior year I show up to be in high school raised my hand in a class like crazy behavior. And after the class the most beautiful girl in the class like high cheekbones blue eyes comes up to me and she's just like you don't have anywhere to go to lunch with do you. And you go out to lunch and be like it's like cool like it's a whole thing. And I was like no she takes me out to lunch immediately I'm like you're my favorite person in the world that's nice thing ever. And then fast forward a couple months later she pulls out a cigarette and starts smoking. You remember. Yes. And I literally take her cigarette and I throw it at it's literally so me and you because she was just like a bad girl and she's like oh this guy whatever. And I'm like get the cigarette you're going to die. And she's like oh like we're so different but like we just loved each other and she'd be waiting at my locker every day. My favorite moment is just like watching you try and smoke weed. Wait can I tell a story that I don't think we ever had told that happened on reality TV. Me smoking weed everyone had like there was a weed pen going around at one point. Yes it was mine. It wasn't going around I was just hitting it. And we for some reason were like hiding in a closet. Yeah it was it was me you and Amanda you had just come home from somewhere and something bad had happened in the closet something like I was really upset. And I remember you being like Hannah just hit this. Yeah just hit that you'll be fine. So then I'm like okay fine and I'm so dramatic about it like I'm about to do heroin for the first time. I put up some of my mouth no idea what to do. No idea what to do. Not doing it right. You didn't even suck in. Don't even know how to do it was trying to do it. Then a guy I'd been talking to comes by sees me holding it gets mad at me for smoking weed. I then go I don't know how to smoke weed. I didn't know what I was doing. We get into a whole thing. He's mad at me. You guys are laughing. Wait I forgot about that. No I got like huge trouble. I forgot about that second part. I literally like stopped remembering. I was like I don't even know how to inhale and he's like how do not know how to inhale. I'm like I'm really dumb and scared and I don't know what's happening. Wait I forgot about that. I think that was the day that I was like he's a loser. Also I was like I didn't even. I was like we're 25 we're gonna hit the weed pen. You fucking narc let you go. That was wild behavior on his part. I was like get out of my face. Wow that was a trip down memory lane. That was. I want to make one quick announcement too. I posted my nail situation. I got my nails done. I got my first Russian manicure. Do you love? I want to say these women are scientists. Yeah I haven't gotten one yet and everyone says once you get one you'll never go back. She did nip one of my cuticles and I she hit an artery for sure. You like bled a little? Yeah I bled a little and it's kind of hurting and if it gets infected you could die. But besides that I feel very. Wait do you want to know what's crazy? It's like that's true. No my friend told me a story of a girl who had to go to the hospital because of a manicure. No people have gotten their fucking feet chopped off because of like. A pedicure gone awry? Yeah like you become like septic. Yeah someone had to like miss a wedding because of it. Which I was a great idea. Fuck yeah. But when I broke my nail and the way they create a new nail based off of just the like clay is 3D printing. And it's just a lady with a stick. Like a literal wooden stick. I'm like how did you create a whole new nail bed? Like it's incredible the work that they've done. Yeah it is. And I just want to raise awareness for like. Do you want to every time I get my nails done I don't I think this is because I have anxiety that I like I randomly will just like shake. It's not good. But like if I have to do something with my hands. Like I'm gonna shake a little. What's the diet coke just raging through your veins? You're like. I'm drugged out. Figuring it out. No so I always think when I'm getting my nails done when they're painting I'm like every time I'm like I would have fucked that up right there at that part I would have fucked that up to like it's so crazy how they can do it. Artisans. My final thought which is a meme that I saw that made me laugh really hard so I want to say it out loud to the gig leaders. Someone wrote does Ben Affleck only know two women. Wait this is so bad because I am a fan of Anna Deyarmus I think she's stunning. I think she's a good actress. This is so mean. Oh my god I'm trying to be self aware but like this is mean. Whenever I can't do something or I think like I'm gonna be bad at that or like I've never tried that before like it's probably not my hidden talent. I always think if Anna Deyarmus can be Marilyn Monroe. I can do anything. Mental health moment of the year. No that's so true. So valid. Blonde doesn't go with her. Usually I don't think about bad movies years later for whatever reason that really stuck in my brain. I think because I was you want to know why as I was watching it it was going through a man's phone. There's so much lore there but I think about it all the time. I go Anna Deyarmus I can do this. And that's what we're gonna leave you guys with. I hope you enjoyed our first second episode. We doubled up double Oreo this week. We're gonna be different like some days we're gonna do like one topic. Like we're gonna have giglers right in like you have to talk about this. Things that we didn't touch on. Sometimes we might have a guest. Sometimes I might not show up. You know different stuff could happen. We're free falling. We love you guys so much and thank you for giggling. Bye. Supercharged with the help of zero counting software. This is managing cash flow. This is managing your cash flow with the help of zero counting software. 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