Librarian Mychal Threets talks rebooting Reading Rainbow and our panel eats goo

Support for NPR and the following message come from the William and Flora Hewlett Foundation, investing in creative thinkers and problem solvers who help people, communities, and the planet flourish. More information is available at hewlett.org. Hey, just a quick note for our listeners. If you've been listening to us for a while but haven't hit the follow button on us yet, then we're in what the kids call a situationship. Sure, we laugh, we cry, we laugh-cry with each other every week, but there's no commitment. Now, we have to think about the future because remember, someday neither of us will be this hot. If you're ready to level up our relationship because I am, it's time to hit that follow button on your podcast app. You'll be rewarded with our latest episodes as soon as they're out. And of course, the warm comfort of knowing we will be there for each other when things start to sag. From NPR and WBEZ Chicago, This is Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me, the NPR News Quiz. I'm the reason everybody's throwing Super Bill parties this weekend. Bill Curtis. And here's your host at the Studebaker Theater at the Fine Arts Building in Chicago, Illinois, Peter Sagal. Thank you, Bill. Thank you, everybody. You're very kind. We do have a great show for you today. Later on, we're going to be talking to Michael Threats. He is the new host of the rebooted Reading Rainbow. This will be a treat for those of you who spent your childhood in libraries instead of playing sports or getting invited to fun parties, which, let me check our latest audience data. That is, it's all of you. So you'll enjoy this. But first, we want to see if your reading has prepared you to answer some questions about the week's news. So give us a call at 1-888-WAIT-WAIT. That's 1-888-924-8924. Now let's welcome our first listener contestant. Hi, you're on Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me. Hi, it's Nathan from Overland Park, Kansas. Overland Park, Kansas. Heard of it. What do you do there? I'm a paralegal. You're a paralegal, which I always thought sounded cooler than it is. Yeah, it sounds a lot cooler than it is. Yeah, it's like you have paratrooper. That's cool, right? So paralegal, I figured, would be somebody who leaps in and like drops in from airplanes to do law. Yeah, all I do is keep lawyers on target. Really? Yeah. Do you have to like physically grab them sometimes and just like point them right? It hasn't happened yet, but it wouldn't surprise me. I bet. Well, Nathan, welcome to our show. Let me introduce you to our panel this week. First up, it is a humorous woodworker whose podcast, The Beaudet Problem, debuts soon. Listen to the pilot over at HatchSpace.org. It's Tom Beaudet. Hi, Nathan. Hey, Tom. Next, he's the co-host of the podcast The Nightly and is performing at the Fittler Club in Philadelphia February 20th and 21st. It's Josh Gondelman. Hello. How are you doing? Thank you for all your power work. And joining us again, the co-host of the Handsome Podcast and producer of the Apple TV doc Come See Me in the Good Light, nominated for an Oscar this year, it's Tig Notaro. Hey, Tig. How's it going? So welcome to the show, Nathan. You're going to play Who's Bill this time. Bill Curtis is going to read you three quotations we found in the week's news. Your job correctly. Identify or explain just two of them. Do that. You will win our prize. The choice of your voicemail from any of us. Are you ready to go? Yep. All right. Here is your first quote. It's Starbucks versus Dunkin'. That was an ABC reporter summing up the big game happening this weekend. What's the game? It's the Super Bowl. The Super Bowl. That's right. Yay. The Super Bowl. It's not just a matchup between two cities, Seattle and Boston. It's a contest between two different brands of terrible coffee. The Seahawks versus the Patriots. It's not the marquee matchup the NFL hoped for. For example, out of more than 100 players on both rosters, not a single one of them is engaged to Taylor Swift. Look, it's not that exciting because everybody's on the same side of this. I, like everyone in America, am a New England Patriots fan. And so there's just no tension. They truly are America's team. Everybody loves them and everybody is on board with the thing I just said. But here's a question. You are a genuine Patriots fan. Yeah. And everybody hated the Patriots for a long time. And that just made me stronger. I understand that. Chicagoans, you understand that. Yes. Yeah, you thrive in their hatred. But so then the people associated with the hated Patriots, namely Tom Brady and Bill Belichick, they left and moved on to other things and much, much younger women. And we'll see Bill Belichick. People don't. Bill Belichick is an innovator on the field and off. Most people criticize an old man for dating a woman half his age. He said, no, I'm going to date a woman one third my age. People said he couldn't be done mathematically. I know. I didn't know the Super Bowl was this weekend. You didn't. It didn't come up in your social schedule? Nor theirs. Apparently. You represent that swath of our audience. Yeah. Yes. People think I'm going to be interested in the Super Bowl. I remember when we first got our handyman at our house. Yes. And he's from Philadelphia, and he's very into all of the Philadelphia teams. The term is sports. Yes, of the sports teams. And I remember the first time when he came over, he was like, hey, did you see the, you know, whatever Philly game? And I was like, oh, wrong lesbian. Let me get my wife. And my short hair throws people off. Sure, of course. And they direct a lot of sports talk to me. But it's Stephanie. You're so outside of it. You're going like, hey, did you see the baseball Philadelphia? Yeah. You couldn't get the licensing rights to say the name of the team. That's the last time I talked sports. I understand. It went well. Your next quote is the slogan for a new government mascot. Mine, baby, mine. That is what Coley says, and Coley is the new government mascot encouraging us to mine more what? Coal? Coal, yes. This week, the U.S. Department of the Interior debuted Coley, the talking lump of coal, and his sidekick, Canary. They have kind of a love-hate relationship. Well, Canary is dead. He's looking a little wobbly. So, this is all real. You may think we have made this up. Coley is a cartoon lump of coal with eyes and a mouth. He's wearing work boots, a safety vest, and a hard hat. He's very adorable. And so is his catchphrase, we just have three hours of oxygen left down here. I hate to correct you, Peter, but because this is a Trump regime project, it's not actually a lump of coal. It's a baseball in blackface. Come on! I can't believe you hate that joke more than you hate the New England Patriots. When I was growing up, Our parents would threaten us with a lump of coal at Christmas if we didn't behave ourselves. This is not a social icon of reward, should I say. Our children were told that if they didn't behave, they would get a lump of coal. And our son, Max, earnestly asked, well, if that does happen, can I still play with it? Oh. Yeah, we call him Coley. Yeah, I was about to say, maybe that's where Coley came from, some bad child. I mean, Coley, I don't know what it is. My son isn't bad. Okay, your son I'm sure is. We were just threatening him. I understand. She was a lovely child. Meanwhile, Coley is definitely looking at a trademark lawsuit from E. Coley, the mascot of diarrhea. It does seem like if you're diarrhea, you'd want a mascot. You would, yeah. Yeah. If you're diarrhea, you're sitting around with your marketing people and you're going, look, we've got to do something about my reputation. Right, yeah. generations of negative PR. All right, your final quote is from an article in the New York Times about the hottest new dining trend. Waste no time chewing. That's about the growing group of people who are taking all their meals in the form of what? A shake? Yeah, or liquid, or goo, it is often called. People apparently want to maximize their nutrition while saving time and effort, so they're eating packets of goo instead of food. It is a powerful rebuttal to those who believe you're supposed to enjoy your life. Nutrient goo, according to the Times, is more popular than ever, even for people with teeth. And is that the name of the product, nutrient goo? It is often, yeah, the Times calls it goo. But it's called nutrient goo? Yes. Well, great marketing team. Yeah. Yeah. From the people who brought you diarrhea, Here's nutrient goo. They just left gootriant sitting right there on the table. I know. The New York Times called them aspirationally branded meal replacement. Why do we only get the parts of the future that stink? It's really true. Truly, I thought we were going to have flying cars by now, and instead it's just like, oh, no pizza soup. Yeah. I mean, this is something that the astronauts were doing in 1962. Right. And so what is, I mean, it's just because it's catching on now? The idea is like everybody's so busy, everybody's got so much to do, nobody wants to take the time to have to make or apparently chew a meal, right? They just want someone to mama bird their food for them. So it's to save time. Yes. Right. What's everybody so busy doing? Unemployment's going way up. Everybody's got more time they've ever had in their lives. People should, there should be like a long meal trend. They're inventing goo. Yeah, exactly. Bill, how did Nathan do in our quiz? Perfect score, Nathan. Congratulations. Thank you. Thank you so much. Drink up if you're drinking. Drink up if you're drinking, boy. Tell me what you wish. Right now, panel, time for you to answer some questions about this week's news. Tom, there's a new travel trend that is said to refresh your perspective and bring you peace when you're flying. Intentionally sitting where? Oh, I saw this story. In the middle seat. Yes, in the middle seat. Some people are actually really into getting that dreaded middle seat on airplanes. One of these perverts wrote on TikTok that the middle seat was, quote, like a midair cuddle that you don't deserve, but you are privileged to have. Oh, that's a very sad person. Did you read that in the Epstein files, or is that somewhere else? Yes. I agree with him because the thing we all want in a plane is to have the guy in the middle seat extend his arms and say, Come on, sweethearts. I want to be the middle spoon. You know, I've been stuck in the middle seat. Many of us have. Things don't always go our way. And I do find that there's a certain thing you have to do. Like, you've got to bring your world in very close. Right. It like you got to erase the id and just accept life as it just came at you And there something very spiritual about that I admit You sound like somebody talking how they got through 30 years in prison Well it like that It like that Yeah Have you ever seen, have you ever flown on a plane or in the middle seat? There's like these little scratch marks on the tray. Yeah. The hours of the flight. Coming up, a secret is revealed in our Bluff the Listener game. Call 1-888-WAIT-WAIT-TO-PLAY. We'll be back in a minute with more of Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me from NPR. Support for NPR and the following message come from the William and Flora Hewlett Foundation. Investing in creative thinkers and problem solvers who help people, communities, and the planet flourish. More information is available at Hewlett.org. From NPR and WBEZ Chicago, this is Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me, the NPR News Quiz. I'm Bill Curtis. We are playing this week with Tig Notaro, Josh Gondelman, and Tom Baudet. And here again is your host at the Studebaker Theater in Chicago, Illinois, Peter Sago. Thank you so much, Bill, right now. Thank you, everybody. Right now it is time for the Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me Bluff the Listener game. Call 1-888-Wait, Wait to play our game in the air. Hi, you are on Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me. Hi, Peter. My name is Laura, and I'm from Durango, Colorado. Oh, Durango is a beautiful place. I have been there. What do you do there? Well, I spend most of my time embarrassing my 8-year-old son. Okay. Let me ask you a question. What does he find about you that's most embarrassing? Annoyingly positive pep talks. use slang from his generation out of context. Oh, that's the worst. Do you ever try to make like a 6-7 joke? Oh, totally. In fact, I'm working on making that fall right out of style. Yeah. Keep at it. Well, welcome to the show, Laura. You're going to play our game on which you must try to tell truth from fiction. Bill, what is Laura's topic? It's a secret. A secret got out this week. and it's not just that the nutrient goo everybody's eating is made of people. Our panelists are going to tell you how somebody's beans got spilled. Pick the one who's telling the truth and you'll win the wait waiter of your choice in your voicemail. You ready to play? Yes, sir. Let's hear first from Josh Gondelman. Spectators at a recent boxing match were exposed to a moment of hair-raising violence, literally. Heavyweight Kingsley eBay landed an uppercut so ferocious it knocked his opponent's toupee clean off his head. The crowd was shocked, even though we can all agree that being bald is a cool and hot way for a guy to look. And the competitor himself, Jarrell Miller, whose nickname is Big Baby, perhaps because of his smooth scalp, was surprised as well. I wasn't sure it was coming off, but I felt a draft, like AC hitting my scalp, Miller said. Sure enough, I look at the jumbotron and my hair is flapping and the crowd is going crazy. Undeterred by his follicular malfunction, Miller tore the wig the rest of the way off his head and threw it into the crowd. He went on to win the fight in a tight split decision, fittingly emerging victorious by a hair. A boxer's secret that he's bald is revealed when he gets hit so hard his toupee flies off in the middle of a bout. Your next story of someone's cover being blown comes from Tig Notaro. This week, Berta Martin found something shocking in her parents' attic. When she was looking for potential critters running around, all she found were wooden toys and a box labeled yearbooks. She decided to take an old trip down memory lane and look at the yearbooks. However, when she opened the first one, she was shocked to her core. There was a full-page picture of her mother with, quote-unquote, most likely to be late printed across the page. This was particularly shocking to Berta because her mother is the Miss Manners, aka Judith Martin aka the reason your elbows do not touch the dinner table. In the yearbook for the next year her mom was quote unquote most likely to flip off the teacher and there was a huge picture of her double birds out on a motorcycle. Berta brought the yearbook downstairs to her mother and Miss Manners just said yeah I was awesome then. Now please set the table for dinner. Miss Manners' daughter discovers that her mother was once a delinquent. Your last story of a secret spilled comes from Tom Beaudet. Justin and Hayley Bieber made headlines with their red carpet appearance at last Sunday's Grammy Awards. Justin's Captain Underpants performance later in the show left few secrets to hide, except for one. On Sunday after the awards show, Justin Bieber skipped the after party because he had a shift as an Uber driver. It's the only way I can unwind. I love driving people to the airport, explained Bieber. So after the Grammys, Justin slipped into the night, into his Yukon and into his alias, Uber driver Vladislav. He was enjoying his quiet evening of being just a regular guy until he got a ride request from a customer named Anastasia Chekhov. When Ms. Chekhov entered the vehicle, she said, hello, Vladislav. How was your night? Justin turned to face her. Haley? Haley looks hard at the father of her child. Are record sales this bad? It turns out that both of them were craving some hoi polloi FaceTime and ended up with each other. Haley said she was just relieved that Justin was wearing pants. So one of these secrets got out this week. Was it from Josh Gondelman, a boxer revealed to the world that he was bald when his opponent hit him so hard his toupee flew off. From Tig Notaro, Miss Manner's daughter discovers that her genteel mother wasn't always like that. Or from Tom Beaudet, Justin Bieber secretly drives an Uber under an alias and was discovered when he picked up his wife. Which of these was the real secret revealed this week? I think I'll have to go with Josh's story just to support toupee wearing men everywhere. All right. You're going to go with Josh's story about the boxer whose toupee flew off when he got hit that hard. Well, we actually have here some tape of the person whose secret was revealed. I've had here before, so thank God I hope he goes back, but it's cool. That was boxer Jarrell Miller talking about how he had his toupee knocked off this week. I think you accidentally played Miss Manners. It's possible, yeah. That's what she really sounds like. You've never heard her, have you? You've only seen her picture. Congratulations, Laura. You got it right. You earned a point for Josh, and you've won our prize, the voice of your choice, on your voicemail. Congratulations. Thank you so much for playing. Thank you. And now the game we call Not My Job. When Michael Threats was a kid, he really loved his local library. So much so that when he grew up, he got a job there. And he loved that job so much that he started a TikTok celebrating the joys of reading. And he was so good at that that he was selected to be the host of the new version of the beloved kids program, Reading Rainbow. Michael, from one book nerd to another, welcome to Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me. So, congratulations on Reading Rainbow. which just was relaunched by PBS on YouTube. It's very exciting. This must have been a thrill for you to get this job. Did you grow up on Reading Rainbow like so many did? Oh, I absolutely did. LeVar Burton is one of my all-time favorite human beings in the entire world. That's how I saw myself as a reader. I was like, hey, this guy makes it so fun. He's having all these zany adventures. I was homeschooled, so my mom and dad raised us on Roots. So I was like, why is a Roots guy on Reading Rainbow? And that came to terms, and I was like, well, that's cool. This is even better. Yeah. I'm the biggest LeVar Burton fan in the entire world. He has that effect on people. How has the torch passed? Did LeVar Burton, like, knight you with a bookmark or hand over the animated butterfly to you? How did it work? I wish it was that special. I have not yet had the pleasure of meeting Mr. Burton. I'm just trying to make him proud with my obnoxious enthusiasm for libraries and literacy and books. And I hope it's coming across well on YouTube to all the kid viewers out there. And it is genuine, I think. Nobody doubts that. You've talked a lot how the library was your sort of safe space as a kid. Did you have a favorite book when you were a kid? You know what? You're not going to be able to see it because my camera is blurred. I have a full tattoo sleeve of my favorite books, so I love Where the Wild Things Are. I'm a big fan of Richard Scarry books, of Strike and Lona, of Frog and Toad. but one of my favorite books is Bud Not Buddy by Christopher Paul Curtis. It's because that was the first book where I saw myself look like a character in the books. Well, how old were you when you got your first book tattoo? I think I got my first book tattoo when I was 24. So it's been almost 12 years. And what was the first book you had tattooed? The first one was, that is a good question, it was actually, it was either Where the Wild Things Are or I have a library card of Arthur Reed from PBS tattooed on me. Wow, wow. And when you walked into the tattoo parlor at the age of 24 and you said, I would like this library card with Arthur the Aardvark, Arthur Reeds, did the guy just look at you and say, oh, what a cliche? You know what, he really did. I think because I showed him my, like, at the time I had close to 40 library cards. I just brought in my library card collection, and he was like, okay, you're all about it. That's okay. It's all right. Whatever works, it's okay. The giant biker across the room getting a tattoo of DW on his chest kind of nodded. Oh, yeah. Mr. Ratburn, let the meat take. You spent so much time at your hometown library, eventually you went back and got a job there, and you eventually became head librarian, right? I did, yes. I got my library card at that same library as a kid. Excuse me, I became a shelver. I went to college, got my bachelor's degree, got my master's degree, became a children's librarian and then a marketing librarian, and then I eventually became the supervising librarian of that same thing. Wow. And once you acquired that immense power, what is the first thing you did with it? Did you shush someone? Oh, yeah. You know what? I think a lot of people learn that once you become a library person, you're not a true library person until you've been shushed by someone visiting the library. And I've been shushed by anywhere from 12 to 15 people talking to the visitors at the desk, other coworkers and they're like, sir, this is a library. You work here. I like to go into libraries just to shush everybody. I just like to just be like shh shh shh Even if nobody saying anything Yeah I just love to shush in a library We creating a new Rick Steves We're just going around the world shushing people. Shushing people. We have covered on this show the fact that many libraries report that very weird things show up in books being returned that have been used as bookmarks. Has this happened to you? Have you pulled out odd things out of books? I have. I pulled, I mean, definitely quite a few receipts. I pulled someone's social security card out of a book and board. I'm like, oh, I know way too much about this person. I pulled some baloney. Baloney. I go to a book and board. Wait, what are we talking about? People use, I mean, people are reading a book and they, like, have to close the book. Oh. So they grab what is near to hand and put it in the book as a bookmark. Oh, okay. Thank you. Yeah. What's the context of this conversation? Yeah, I understand. Let's say you have a little kid, however old, who doesn't like to read, says they don't anyway. Do you have like a magic book that you have in your pocket, metaphorically speaking, to whip out and like convert that kid into a reader? You know what? I don't have necessarily a magic book, but I think I love, I found that so many kids always have what they love on their person. Either they have a Spider-Man hat or nowadays they have K-pop Demon Hunter shirts or the Super Bowl is coming up. They'll be rocking their Patriots jerseys or their Seahawks jerseys. And I just start talking about that. And I'm like, did you know that there's football books? There's basketball books. There's actually books about K-pop Demon Hunters. I'm pretty sure there's someone out there trying to write a bad bunny book as we speak. Yes. So I think the magic of books is just saying, you know what? You can read. graphic novels. You can read Dogman 1,000 times. And they're like, are you sure? Because every other adult says that's not okay. And I'm like, they're wrong. Read away. Reading is reading. You're a worthy reader. Can I ask a health question of you, Michael? How many times can a parent safely read everybody poops to their child before they get actual brain damage? the child or the adult i was thinking of the adult yeah i understand well michael threats it is a joy to talk to you and this time we've invited you to play a game we're calling don't read the rainbow taste the rainbow oh no you host reading rainbow so we thought we'd ask you about the candy with the slogan taste the rainbow that is of course Skittles. Answer two or three questions about Skittles candies. You'll win our prize for one of our listeners, the voice of anyone they might choose from our show for their voicemail. So Bill, who is librarian Michael Threats playing for? Isaac Lewis of Milwaukee, Wisconsin. All right. You ready to do this? I'll give it a try for you. Give it a try. Here's your first question. Packs of Skittles come in a variety of different flavors, from the classic flavors to tropical fruit flavors. Well, one limited edition flavor that came out in 2019 was not so successful, Which was it? A, suppository Skittles. B, zombie Skittles, where one in every 20 Skittles tasted rotten. Or C, Zootopia Skittles, each designed to taste like each of the star animals in that movie. Man. Penguin flavored. Since it's Skittles, I'm trying to channel Marshawn Lynch. And I think I'm going to go with suppository Skittles. Suppository Skittles. Truly the most beast mode of all Skittles. Truly, truly. No, it was zombie Skittles. Really? It really was. Zombie Skittles flavors included petrifying citrus punch, mummified melon, and every now and then, rotten zombie. Wow. Wow. All right, this is all right. You got two more chances. In 2018, a spokesman for Mars, the company that makes Skittles, had to issue an official statement to shut down a conspiracy theory that was spreading like wildfire, alleging what? A, Skittles are actually candied fish roe. B, all Skittles take exactly the same, they're just in different colors. Or C, each of them has a microdose of cocaine, which is why they're so addictive. I really want to go with C, and I'm going to be so sad if it is C, but I'm going to go with B. You're right. The rumor was that all Skittles taste exactly the same, they just have different colors. It's not true, and I am proud to say it was a rumor started by a report on NPR. Oh, there you go. All right, this is great, Michael. If you get this last one, you win. Skittles are known for their very weird commercials. Which of these was a real Skittles commercial that was broadcast somewhere in the world? Was it A, a commercial with a huge anthropomorphic tube sock that generated static electricity by rubbing on the carpet and shocks an old man on the tongue? Was it B, a man who milks Skittles from a giraffe which is eating a rainbow? Or C, a mother who feeds her adult son Skittles through an umbilical cord? Oh. God. Man. I am going to go with B, with the giraffe. You're going to go with B, the man who milks Skittles from a giraffe that's eating a rainbow. That's right, but they were all real. Those were all real Skittles commercials. Bill, how did Michael Threats do in our quiz? Two out of three is a win, Michael. Proved his talent. Congratulations. Michael Threats' new book is I'm So Happy You're Here, A Celebration of Library Joy, and he is the host of the new edition of Reading Rainbow. Michael Threats, thank you so much for joining us on Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me. What a pleasure to talk to you. Take care. Thank you for having me. Bye-bye. Thanks, Michael. In just a minute, because a smile is unavailable, we let something else be our umbrella in our listener Limerick Challenge. Call 1-888-WIT-WAIT to join us in the air. We'll be back in a minute with more of Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me from NPR. From NPR and WBEZ Chicago, this is Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me, the NPR News Quiz. I'm Bill Curtis. We are playing this week with Tom Baudette, Tig Notaro, and Josh Gondelman. And here again is your host at the Studebaker Theater in Chicago, Illinois, Peter Sagal. Thank you, Bill. Thank you so much. In just a minute, if you like limericks, you've come to the only place. To play our Listener Limerick Challenge, give us a call at 1-888-WAIT-WAIT. That's 1-888-924-8924. Right now, panel, some more questions for you from the week's news. Tom, according to Business Insider, there's been a rise in name shame for a certain group of men, guys named what? Because it's so common, like Jason's? No, because it's become so infamous and associated with a person that nobody wants to be associated with. And too many are. Oh, Donald. Donald? Don't. You know, now that you pointed out, there are a lot of candidates for this answer. Yeah, I mean, there's a whole list going through my head. Yeah, well, it turns out more people were associated with this guy in real life than they ever wanted us to find out about. Oh, God. Yeah, the Richard. No, yeah. No, not Richard. What are you talking about? I'm talking about Epstein. I know Epstein's first name. Yes, Richard Epstein. Just a real mean podiatrist. What's his name? Come on. It is. It's Epstein. It's like, it's... God, nobody tell him. Listen, this is elder abuse right here. This is what you're doing. Okay, but the good news is we now know who is not on that list. Ladies and gentlemen. Yeah, right. Happy to be there. Why can't I think of it? Not only do I no longer remember the answer, I no longer remember the question. Where are we? It's irrelevant at this point, I would say. It's pretty relevant. Well, I know it's not Richard, for God's sake. Somebody say it so I can smack my forehead and we can move on with this show. Let's have everybody say it on three. One, two, three. Jeffrey. Jeffrey. Jeffrey. Doesn't even sound familiar, huh? Yeah. Well, that's a good man then. That is a good man. Yeah, more and more guys named Jeffrey are choosing to go as Jeff to distance themselves from famous pedophile and emailer Jeffrey Epstein. It's very hard to be a Jeffrey these days, I get it, but come on, there are way more famous Jeffreys than just Epstein. There's also Dahmer. According to the reporter who wrote the story, whose name is, of course, Jeffrey, quote, the name you put forth can have a huge impact on your career trajectory. So if you're a Jeffrey, try to drop that name. Go by something with less baggage, like Ghislaine. Wait. Is this the last journalism left in the Washington Post? Is Jeff Bezos himself writing an article, Be Nice to Jeffries? Oh, wow. After that, actually, after that this week, that may be the worst Jeffrey, I think. I don't know about worst. I'll put a bottom three Question for you, Josh This week, the New York Times investigated why Try as they might to stop Poets keep doing what? They just can't stop piercing the veil of the unknown With language and insight It's true, no, not that Then I'm going to have to have a hint So much depends upon this hint for you. They can't stop, like, pausing at weird times? Yes, they can't stop reciting poetry in the annoying reciting poetry voice. This week, the New York Times asked a great question. What's up with the voice people use when they're reciting poetry? That voice, the tone that poets performing and preaching potential impose on their work. Kind of artsy Shatner, if you will. Yes. Turns out a lot of poets just recite that way because they think that's how you're supposed to sound. I mean, without the voice, people might catch on that your poem is just regular writing with extra pauses. I like the idea of stripping away that kind of artifice and just kind of like giving it real casually. Shall I compare they do a summer's day? I don't know. A lot more lovely and more temperate, but whatever. Thanks. You do you. Coming up, it's lightning fill in the blank But first it's the game where you have to listen for the rhyme If you'd like to play on air, call or leave a message At 1-888-WAIT-WAIT That's 1-888-924-8924 You can find us most weeks right here At the Studebaker Theatre in Chicago Or you can catch us on the road We will be in beautiful Savannah, Georgia On March 26th The show just went on sale So grab the good seats now And if you are in Chicago and prefer our show without all the annoying questions, come check out our special comedy grab bag live stand-up show March 11th at the Den Theater in Wicker Park. Adam Burke will be hosting along with Alzo Slade, Joelle, Nicole Johnson, and more special guests. Tickets for all our shows will be at nprpresents.org. Hi, you're on Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me. Hi, this is Lee Gutcheth calling from Harrisonburg, Virginia. Harrisonburg Virginia Okay what do you do there I a senior data scientist at a health policy research center that called the Hilltop Institute and mom to two great kids a six major and a two Susie. Oh, excellent. Can I ask, since we've been on the topic this week, what are their favorite books? Right now, my son is super into the Camp Cretaceous books and my daughter really big into Pow Pow Fish right now. Pow Pow Fish. Oh yeah, we have that book. We've read it many times and the sequel is disappointing because it goes on antidepressants. Which sequel? I feel like there There are like six of them. Yeah, I know. I'm just saying to your present one. We'll keep an eye out. Please, please do. Well, welcome to the show, Lee. Bill Curtis is going to read you three news-related limericks with a last word or phrase missing from each. If you can fill in that last word or phrase correctly, and two of the limericks will be a winner. You ready to go? I guess we'll find out. Here is your first limerick. Handling bags and umbrella and phone. I can manage the rain on my own. New tech is the key. My umbrella's hands-free. It's hovering held by a... Drone? Drone, yes. Do you love using umbrellas but just wish there were many, many more ways for it to break? Well, you need the high-tech flying umbrella drone. A YouTube inventor has created a drone that hovers right over your head with an umbrella wherever you go. Now you can stay dry and look like you're being chased by an adorable UFO. It's actually really amazingly innovative technology to make sure that it follows you around automatically. All you have to do is make sure you are the first thing it sees when it hatches. You know, even if it had a drone, I would for sure put down my drone umbrella at the front of the restaurant and then leave it there if it's not raining when I leave. Oh, it'd be so weird because like all restaurants would have just piles of abandoned drone umbrellas just sort of hovering there sadly. Here is your next limerick. Pet-friendly signs aren't all that. My Miss Luna finds no welcome math. Hotel intake logs are drowning in dogs. But no one wants me and my... Pet. Yes. That's right. Cat owners are struggling with a big problem. all the hotels and stores that say they're pet friendly, by pet just mean dogs. Maybe it's because bringing your dog on vacation makes sense, but bringing your cat on vacation is insane. Look Frisky, the Berkshires. I always assume people travel with their cats because they're getting rid of them. Really? Like leave them in a distant town. How dare you? That explains the look in their faces and their little cat carriers. Here's your last limerickly. Film students think they are groovy, but they suck, and you cannot disprove me. Their will isn't strong to focus for long. Those kids cannot sit through a... A movie. A movie, that's right. We all remember when the teacher rolling into TV and playing a movie was the best thing that could happen in a classroom, but now professors complain that even film students no longer have the attention span to make it through an entire movie. If you are a film student, you're signing up to watch boring movies. That's how we know they're art. I bet if they just popped up a little message, like a fake notification of that, like every 15 seconds, they'd stay with it. Because their brains just need to be fed an interruption. Exactly. That's probably the problem. They can't do it. And some professors who are- Let's go to commercial. Yeah. Some professors got, this is all true, got so tired of trying to get their students to come down to the screening room and sit through a whole movie. They said, okay, fine. You can stream the movie for the assignment online. But then they found out that they often don't finish the movie. This is true. One professor did that. And then as a test, asked the students how the movie ended. and half of them did not know. They're all like, what? The Titanic sank? Bill, how did Lee do in our quiz? 3-0. Congratulations, Lee. Well done. Thank you. Thank you so much for playing. Yeah, thank you. Take care. Now it's on to our final game, Lightning Fill-in-the-Blank. Each of our players will have 60 seconds in which to answer as many fill-in-the-blank questions as they can. Each correct answer now worth two points. Bill, can you give us the scores? Josh and Tom each have three. Tig has one. Okay. Well, Tig, this means you are in second place behind Tom and Josh. That means you're going to have to go first. You ready? You put a positive spin on it. Yeah, I did. I did. Trying to make you feel better. All right. The clock will start. We're going to begin your first question. Here we go. Fill in the blank. On Wednesday, the White House said it would withdraw 700 ICE agents from blank. Minneapolis. Yeah. Following a Russian strike on Monday, tens of thousands of people in blank were left without heat. Oh, I know this. Yet you must prove that by saying it out loud. Ukraine. Yes, Ukraine. Oh, my gosh. On Wednesday, Ryan Ruth was sentenced to life in prison for the attempted assassination of blank two years ago. Trump. Right. This week, a man in Massachusetts started his house on fire when he tried to remove the snow on his roof by blanking. Dancing. No, by using a blowtorch on the snow. In response to consumer complaints, blank said they were lowering the price of their potato chips. Lays. Yes, lays. On Tuesday, it was announced that Josh DeMaro would replace Bob Iger as CEO of blank. Disney. Right. This week, The Guardian issued a correction saying a formatting error caused them to give the movie Milani a rating of one star instead of the intended blank. Zero. Right. But their review starts out so well, quote, this is one of those rare unicorn films that doesn't have a single redeeming quality. Even worse, after they took the star back, they issued another correction. They said earlier editions indicated you should not see this movie. We meant to say you should never see any movie ever again because movies are ruined now. Bill, how did Tig do in our quiz? Wow, she got six right, 12 more points. Total of 13 puts her in the lead. All right. All right, I'm going to arbitrarily choose Josh to go next. So Josh, fill in the blank. On Tuesday, a temporary spending bill was passed, ending the partial blank. A government shutdown? Right. On Thursday, the nuclear pact between the U.S. and blank expired. Iran? No, Russia. This week, the Supreme Court ruled that blank would be allowed to use its new congressional map. California. Right. In Pennsylvania, on Groundhog Day, Punxsutawney Phil predicted blank. Six more weeks of winter? Right. This week, an internal memo revealed that employees of Cracker Barrel are required to blank when they travel for work. Uh, hmm. Smile? Only eat at Cracker Barrel. On Sunday, Billie Eilish and Bad Bunny were the big winners at the 2026 Blank Awards. Grammy Awards. Right, on Tuesday, struggling chain pizza restaurant Blank Hut announced it was closing hundreds of locations. Department of Sanitation. Pizza Hut. Right, this week a man in Iceland was billed for driving 1 million kilometers in his rental van during the month of January, something he could have only done if he blanked. Something he could only have done if he traveled faster than the speed of light? Exactly, I'm going to give it to you. If he drove the van around the earth 25 times going the speed of sound. Ah, sound. It's unclear whether rental company's automated invoice system thinks the man drove his bus around the earth 25 times at 800 miles an hour, but they are trying to charge him almost $200,000 for the privilege. Even worse, the company is charging him an extra $25 for not returning the bus with a full tank of experimental jet fuel. Bill, how did Josh do in our quiz? Well, he did very well. Six right, 12 more points. Total of 15 puts him in the lead. All right. So how many then does Tom Bonet need to win? Six to tie, seven to win. All right. Here we go, Tom. This is for the game. On Wednesday, President Trump said America should move on from the blank files. The Jeffrey... It'd be hilarious if now you can't remember his last name. Jeffrey Epstein files. Epstein files, yes. This week, the White House announced that the blank center would close for construction for two years. The, oh yeah, the Kennedy Center. The Kennedy Center, yes. This week, a man in California was arrested for getting high on meth and blanking. Just blanking? Blanking. That's open-ended. Yeah. Ewing meth and, I don't know, barking like a seal on Sunset Boulevard. That is correct. No, for stealing an airplane on Tuesday, a Doberman Pinscher named Penny won top honors at the blank. Oh, the big dog show in New York. Yes, the Westminster Dog Show. This week, cyber currency blank dropped to its lowest price in two years. Bitcoin. Right. This week, a hospital in France had to be evacuated after a World War I artillery shell was found in blank. In the restroom? No, in a patient's butt. Close. Everyone is okay after a hospital in Toulouse had to be partially evacuated when a 24-year-old man walked into the emergency room, uncomfortably, I would assume, and said something had gotten stuck in his butt somehow. Once the doctors realized what it was, they immediately called firefighters, police, and explosive experts so there would be more people to laugh at the guy. Bill, did Tom do well enough to win? Well, he got four right, eight more points, but his 11 came in short. And guess who is the winner? Josh! With 15. In just a minute, we're going to ask our panelists to predict what Super Bowl ad will we all be talking about next week. But first, let me tell you all, Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me is a production of NPR and WBEZ Chicago in association with Urgent Haircut Productions. Doug Berman, Benevolent Overlord. Philip Godica writes our limericks. Our public address announcer is Paul Friedman. Thanks to the staff and crew here at the Studebaker Theater. BJ Liederman composed our theme. Our program is produced by Jennifer Mills, Miles Dornboss, and Lillian King. Special thanks this week to Blythe Robertson and Monica Hickey, Peter Gwynn won Best in Show at the Westminster Producer Show. Emma Choi is our visual host. Technical directionist from Lorna White. Our CFO is Colin Miller. Our production manager is Robert Newhouse. Our senior producer is Ian Chillog. The executive producer of Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me is Mr. Michael Danforth. Now, panel, what Super Bowl app will we all be talking about after the big game on Sunday? Tom Bodette. Elijah Wood announced Skittles' new dye-free candies with a call to taste the beige. Josh Gondelman. Obviously, it's the Duncan spot where Matt Damon and Ben Affleck pound cold brew shots with famous Massachusetts celebrity, the ghost of Benjamin Franklin. And Tig Notaro. The commercial that everyone will be talking about is next year's Super Bowl. Halftime performance by the Andrew formerly known as Prince. well if any of that happens we'll ask you about it on wait wait don't tell me thank you bill curtis thanks also to tom bodette josh gellerman and dick notaro thanks to our fabulous audience here at the studio baker theater each and every one of you thanks to all of you out there wherever you may be for listening i'm peter sagal we'll see you next week This is NPR.