Ex Boyfriend Stalked Me For YEARS, Then His Girlfriend Ran To The Police | r/Relationships Reddit

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Rewards are earned as points through PayPal Plus. You must be enrolled to earn rewards. Eligible purchases only. Tees and seas apply. Hey Waffle Gang, I do hope you're well. My name is Mark and today we're checking out some more Reddit stories. And if you do love a Reddit story, why not consider hitting that like, subscribe, maybe that notification bell too. And let's crack on with today's first story. Today's story comes from a little while back, but I don't think it's one that we've covered before. I certainly not ringing any bells to me. And before we do get into it, there are some trigger warnings on the front of this one. Please take these ones seriously. If you think it'll affect you in any way, please just skip the story. Because there is a trigger warning of sexual assault, abusive behaviour, controlling behaviour, stalking, alcoholism, threats of kidnapping, murder and torture as well. Yes, bloody hell. And there is even a mood spoiler on this one of it just being terrifying overall. So as I said, please skip it if it's not for you. Background. Okay. So when I was in high school, I was friends with this guy named Alex. We met through a mutual group of friends. At first I thought he hated me my freshman year. When we first met, we were hanging out with everyone. He said something mean to me, but he meant it as a joke. I took him serious. But turned out he didn't. We became very close friends after that. While I dated a bit in high school, I was his first and only girlfriend during his high school career. Things were great when we were in that dating but not together phase because he actually hung out with me and we went on dates. Once we were actually together, he would bail on our plans. I mean, like we made plans all week to a movie, we were both excited for. I bought early tickets for us because it was one of those it's gonna sell out once. He canceled last minute because his friends called him and asked if he wanted to go bowling with him. I took my best friend instead since she loved that series too. That kept happening. Then there were little comments about my body and explosions of anger. Not physical. That was just really not healthy for me to experience from him. I was brutally attacked in many senses of the word when I was walking home from school. He knew about that and understood originally that I was uncomfortable with sex. Also being underage, thereby unable to handle a pregnancy should it happen. I was uncomfortable with it because of that too. I could hold hands with him and kiss him but sometimes he got too handsy and it gave me flashbacks. I would often talk to friends seeking advice because he kept wanting to have sex and I was unable to do that at all, especially after my attack. They kept telling me he understands and he'd be okay never having sex because he loves me. At high school in the where get married and grow old together face. Didn't believe them. Outbroken like I was damaged. Never felt like he understood because he kept asking for it. Even after I was crying and telling him I can't and please just drop it and I will let him know if and when I am ready. I can't say that he actually does but then never hangs out with me slash goes on dates with me for the rest of our relationship. It's just midnight 1am phone calls of just got done hanging out with people. I could come over now. On a school night, my Christian parents would fucking kill me and that is not a joke. I mean that in all seriousness. A break up. So Christmas, parents are starting to not like him because they've been seeing basically how he treats me. My sister told him about the late night phone attempts of him trying to get me to come over slash let him come over. Also a concerned friend told him about pressuring me and that concerned my mother. Fearing I'm being abused. Probably was. But hey, they invite him to Christmas anyways because I was still dating him. Our parties tend to go on long. It starts after church so around 8pm Christmas Eve and ends usually sometime after midnight at 1am. He shows up at midnight and most of the party is wound down. All the gifts are opened and some people have left. But there was an attempt made. To put it short, he made fun of my gift to him until I was in tears. He's on my sister in front of her husband while telling him he hopes me and him are just like them one day. It's a giant disaster. I'm crying. My sister is comforting me. My mum is fucking stunned. He had the audacity to do this. My dad practically throws him out when my brother restrains my brother-in-law from attacking him. Family basically tells him it's over between us and to never contact me again because like wow what the fuck. He doesn't listen because I didn't say it to him so he won't believe I do and he accepts it. Given we have the same group of friends we run into each other now and then. I don't really talk to him but we cross paths. And from those times and times my friends brought him up is dated solely women who have the same name as me. Which is a tad creepy in my mind. Also my name isn't that common so it's not really much of a coincidence in my mind. But maybe it is. What a witch looked like me because I met her before they dated and we joked that we were clones. Eight months after our breakup I meet this guy Jacob who's pretty fucking sweet at the college I started to go to. I mean like there was a blizzard and I was having a panic attack and he still drove over to talk to me and help me. Although bro what the fuck it's a blizzard that was dangerous. He buys flowers at random and we go out all the time but usually it's just to go for a run through the forest. Or walk through a local park. Swimming or bowling. Listen to me. I explained fairly early on about my attack and half issues about it. So if he was going to pressure me for sex he might as well leave now. He told me I could call the shots in the relationship. Decide how slow or fast we go and I can put a stop to anything when I feel it's too much. True to his word too. There have been times when it's too much and I can tell him that. No matter how heated it had gotten he just nods and gets up and makes a cup of tea and helps me calm down. He is constantly there for me and respects me. I don't know. I just in general feel loved by him that I did not feel from Alex for a long time. Now I feel 100% safe with him. I trust him. I love him. He is probably the best thing that has ever happened to me. We've been together since. I felt comfortable enough that I eventually felt I was ready to have sex. So we did this past month. It was amazing. Nothing like before. It was just perfect and even if we were to break up in the future. I will always cherish and love him for being so sweet and helping me replace terrible memories with good ones. So then a friend tells me that Alex hates me now. I'm puzzled because what? What have I done to make him hate me? Especially since therapy and Jacob have both taught that Alex was pretty fucking shitty. And if anyone were to hate anyone it should be the reverse. I asked them and they have no idea why. Just that he was telling everyone on his Facebook what a bitch I was. I blocked him a long time ago so I can't see that. Another friend tells me is because he says I cheated on him with my current boyfriend. I'm puzzled because how? I didn't meet Jacob till 8 months after Alex and I broke up. I find out that he knows Jacob and I had sex and he feels betrayed because I refused to sleep with him. And I clearly cheated on him. We've been broke up for 3 years. Now I'm confused how the fucking knows I slept with Jacob because I told very few. I mean like 2 people about it. And that just because they're my best friends and I was so damn surprised that it could be this great. As opposed to the horrific experience I had before. And I was like is this how it's supposed to be? Is this how you feel? And they just laugh it off. I asked both of them if they told him and why. Both mentioned he actually approached them and others. Asking if I told him anything about me sleeping with Jacob and that he wanted the truth or he'd never talked to them again. And they responded truthfully that it was none of his damn business. And while they might be friends, he has no right to issue them that kind of ultimatum. Eventually I find out how he knows. I have a PTSD blog where I talk about my experience and what not. Honestly my name is not attached to it at all. No images either. Not sure how he knew it was me but apparently has been stalking that blog reading everything I wrote and found out from there because I mentioned my 2 experiences with sex and how vastly different they are and like damn there is hope out there after all. And I'm not damaged and broken. I don't know if I'm necessarily looking for advice. I mean I don't know what to do about the ex. Do I just ignore him? Do I delete my PTSD blog? Do I confront him or anything? Do the police need to be involved since he's stalking me on the internet? But I mostly wrote this because I think it's absurd that I broke up with someone 3 years ago and they think that I cheated because I'm with someone else. So I was just having a what the fuck moment and decided perhaps you might share in this absurd moment. So there is a couple of updates on this story as well and with those trigger warnings I think we already know it's going to be escalating at some point here. So we're going to jump straight into the first update which OP says so quite a bit has happened actually. I've had 2 sessions with my therapist. We talked a lot about this problem, my feelings about it, why I care etc. Made lots of headway in doing a lot of positive affirmations to counter the internalizing what people say. And then we addressed the privacy issue and how it made me feel when he violated it especially when we haven't spoken in 4 years. It is one person suggested of backing up and reformatting computer had to have help with it from the IT at my school. Changed all my passwords, used my boyfriend's computer. Later got notifications from Facebook, another website and my email that someone tried to enter my account so that was interesting. Created a new blog using a new email and deleted the one I had accessed. As far as the suggestion to carry pepper spray, I always do as well as a few other self-defense tools that my parents require I practice often with. I want all my friends not to talk to me about Alex unless he's threatening me. They agree to that. Life was quiet for a bit. Spent a lot of time with Jacob and not giving attention to the shit Alex says or does. Focused on school. And Tuesday, a friend tells me that he's been writing cryptically on Facebook about me. She told me it was things like, I hope OP's father's birthday today is eventful. It'd be a shame if anyone got hurt on the 19th. I wonder if her training is still good. No nameless, pretty sure her is me and training is referring to myself, defense training. I'm not really sure if that's a threat in the eyes of the law or not. She said she has screenshots of it in case I needed them or something, but hasn't sent them to me yet. I didn't have classes today and since today is my dad's birthday, I drove the five hours to go home today to spend it with them. My dad gets off work at four, but brother comes home around two and he's in a box sitting outside. Not a mailed package, just a gift box like someone dropped it off. I'd already told my parents about the veiled threat, so he was suspicious and opened it. It had a small note suggesting that my dad live it up on his birthday and was several bottles with cheap whiskey. He immediately took it inside and hid it in his room so my dad wouldn't see it and waited for me to come to tell me. He's also waiting for my mom to come home to tell her about it. Context, my dad is a recovered alcoholic and has been for five years. He's blackout violent when he's drunk to the point he attempted to murder everyone the last time he drank, which resulted in my mom running away with us to another state, the cousin's house, and calling him for telling him to get help or he will see divorce papers in a week. He binged a bit more out of depression that he lost his family and couldn't find us and why would we make up these lies? He honestly didn't remember nearly murdering us. He never believed he was capable of such things when we'd tell when he was sober. But my brother recorded it the last time and sent it to him, which he saw after two days. He immediately checked himself in the rehab and he said he has never been tempted to drink since. As he puts it, I was not a good man when I drank. I hurt people I loved and I don't want to ever be that person again. Really great father since he got help and we all went to Al and On, as well as a lot of meetings with counselors and group meetings at school because they required it once it became aware of what happened. I love my father. I'm glad he got help and that we all got therapy and counseling about that. But we all are aware should he relapse, we're probably not making it out alive. All my friends know what happened and teachers considering I had to go to the counselor's office who had told all my teachers the situation on why I had noticeable injuries. No backpack, no homework, no writing utensils, and why I'm wearing the same clothes that I wore on Friday. Some were sympathetic, some told me to tell my mom to leave anyways and some told me too bad I should have done my homework anyways. Point is lots of people know about this. So my dad not drinking is not a secret. Him being murderous when he drinks is not a secret. I was dating Alex when it all went down so he saw a lot of the aftermath. So it's incredibly fucked up that someone sent my dad alcohol on his birthday and I'm willing to put down money that is Alex. I just don't have proof it was him and I'm not sure what to do. I feel like I don't have anything concrete on Alex because I can't prove that it was him who sent that. And one of my dad's friends who is a cop said he didn't really threaten me so they can't do anything. My dad asked him about it before today and it's not really harassment if I never told him to leave me alone. And that makes me feel like I'm just overreacting when it definitely doesn't sit well with me. Edit's mum came home and we told her she's gonna call her lawyer tomorrow. Scolded my brother for opening the box. If anything else shows up then everyone will call the police instead of opening it. Old dad and he's hurt someone would purposely do something like that but also pissed. The boys are back. We're looking to expand the organisation. We are performing a bit of a gang. What's going on here? The new series of the Young Offenders. I'm gonna be a bad boy forever. Watch on BBC iPlayer. Hello it's Georgian Max from the Eustace Hotline and we're brought to you by Cancer Research UK. Cancer Research UK are calling on people all across the UK to donate their good quality pre-loved or brand new items to their local Cancer Research UK shop. Nearly one in two people will get cancer in their lifetime. All of us can support the research that will beat it. So next time you're decluttering make Cancer Research UK the place you think of. Donate your good quality pre-loved or brand new items to your local Cancer Research UK shop. For more information visit cruk.org. slash pre-loved. Commenter on the back of this says, I say this as a recovering alcoholic. What he did was messed up for sure but there probably isn't much you can do legally. I think you should tell your dad so that he's aware of the overall situation. I'm willing to bet that even if he'd been the one who opened the package it would not have tempted him to drink. Much less become violent. Or this suddenly seems like an attack on your dad. It's really a message to you. Reading your original post and seeing how this seems to be escalating Alex is firmly heading into stalker territory. Given that I would keep a log of every single detail and also contact the police both in your hometown and your current town. While there may not be anything you can do about this incident it can't hurt to keep a record of events in case it continues to escalate. I'm sorry this is happening to you. Opie reply saying, oh trust me I know it was a message to me and not an attack on my dad. He was just trying to use my dad as a tool to get to me and he should have left my dad out of it. That being said I'm as confident as you are that it wouldn't have tempted him to drink. Also my dad hated whiskey when he did drink. Said it always messed up his stomach which he always felt like might be a genetic thing since his family would be sick if they had whiskey as well. And that's he said any time the subject is brought up that he really doesn't want to drink. He also said that the one day at a time book they gave him in rehab that he reads every day to help. So I know he wouldn't have immediately started drinking just because he saw a bottle. It just pisses me off that someone thought he would and to blatantly try to get to him by giving him alcohol. Have faith in my dad's willpower and progress and it upsets me so much that someone wanted to try to mess with that. It upsets me too that there probably isn't anything I can do about it legally. My brother hit it because we don't keep alcohol in the house. We felt it made it easier on my dad and he didn't want to throw it away in case we needed it for legal reasons. And he didn't want to upset my dad by telling him someone wanted to trigger him into drinking because we'd imagine it would hurt my dad to know someone wanted to try to get to him to harm his family. We probably will tell my dad about it but we want to talk to my mom about it first. I will keep a log of everything. Edit. Oh and congrats on recovering. May your progress be smooth. Mr. Puck says, If the bottles look sealed, it's a possibility, though I admit it's an unlikely one. Not that I'm concerned anyone in your family will drink it mind you, but down the line it'd be best to open them up and dump it all out. Assuming that is that the police never take the package as evidence. OPI responded saying requirements for a restraining order were 1. Two separate instances of harassment. Threat to harm but can't be property or domestic violence. Arrestment being creating a disturbance or repeatedly telephoning at a place of employment or school, repeatedly following in a public place or places, repeatedly keeping victims under surveillance by remaining present outside his or her home, school or place of employment, or threatening physical force, confinement or restraint on one or more occasions. 2. There is objective evidence. 3. Reasonable cause to believe domestic violence will occur. 4. Edits, but my mum is going to talk to a lawyer about a different order. They have, which has slightly less requirements. Like it can be one instance instead of two. There doesn't need to be objective evidence and talks about cyber stuff instead of just what happens in person. But that one you need to pay for. Which we're totally willing to pay. An OP comes in with a last update and as I said this post was from some time ago, so I'm pretty sure it's not going to get an update anytime soon. But it says, Hey guys, it's your friendly neighbourhood user with a crazy ex. I didn't think I'd give you an update so soon and I'm not sure if you did either but alas, one is here. So quite a bit has happened and I'm not sure how much to go into detail but here's basically what happened. Mum contacted a lawyer. We're in the process of getting something that is similar to a protection against stalker order. Or something along the lines. She wasn't that clear with me about the title of the order. Just what it does. She also marched down to the station and demanded they do something about it at the moment. I can't tell you what she said because I wasn't there but she got stuff done and made sure they were going to keep a file about this. In case it escalates. Also they basically went and told him to cease what he is doing. Then an envelope appears in our mailbox. Use the actual postal service this time. We're not expecting anything to come in the mail so we're suspicious and call the police. Apparently it contained photographs of dead animals. Not just like, oh I can pretend they're sleeping but like someone mutilated scrolls and raccoons and took photos of it. Can't confirm if he did it himself or he got it off the internet. Also never saw the photographs. Cop friend told us what it contained and never showed it to us. Well, Cop goes to the post office, asks them their surveillance cameras. He's going to see if Alex brought it here. While he's coming through hours of video we're kind of freaking out because what the hell do these photographs mean? He's going to kill our dog. He's going to kill us. Who knows? Dog was kept inside for the rest of this ordeal. I'm just still in shock. His 31 flavours are fucked up. Jake comes to visit because he heard and was like that's messed up and wanted to be there for moral and physical support. Basically told by parents, Jake and police, I wasn't allowed to go anywhere alone because clearly this is getting really messed up. Then, friends. They let me know that he's posted some stuff on Facebook about how to be ashamed if something was to happen to me. And that maybe something will soon. That I'm better off dead and a bunch of other creepy things that's ever unnerving but never directly were like, yeah I'm going to kill her. They sent those screenshots to me and previous ones. We bring them to the police station who are like, okay this is all actually adding to stuff and we can use all this. And mum meanwhile is like, let me kill him. It doesn't have to be known that you look the other way. Cot friend is like, haha very funny. I can't tell you if mum was kidding. Probably not. And he continues to comb through footage. Then Alex's current girlfriend shows up in the picture. Apparently they had a huge fight because one, she realized he is not over me, probably never will be and probably will never love her. Two, he's straight up planning on kidnapping, torturing and murdering me and him. She originally thought his statuses were just venting. But then I guess he said something that made her realize the 50 shades of crazy he is and she confronted him and he told her if he couldn't have me, no one will. He waited four years for me to realize I messed up and he deserved me. And to find I betrayed him like that was not okay. But it'd be okay because he'll fix it by making sure we'd be together for eternity. And talked about his plan to kidnap slash drug me and torture me so I'd know the pain he felt at my betrayal. And then we'd go together and die in each other's arms. Also decided he didn't really need this girl anymore. Was gonna kill her. She escaped and went to the police. As far as the footage goes, it was confirmed that Alex did mail an envelope, just like the one delivered to our mailbox recently. So he's in custody now. And all I can say on the back of this one is holy shit. I know this story was some time ago, but the absolute insanity of it all. You got an ex who thinks breaking up was at three or four years ago equals cheating. A dad who seemed to be like a couple of drinks away from ending his whole family. Mutilated animal photos in the mail and a full blown kidnap torture murder plot. And absolutely I was glad to see that that guy was in custody in the end though. I was kind of felt like I wish I knew what happened to him in the end because that's some really unhinged shit, right? And there's no easy fix for that guy. So the guy is still about if he got released or whatever. And all I can really wish on the back of all this is that I hope Opie is doing well in the end because it sounds like she has been through a hell of a lot. A bloody hell. What do you guys make of this situation? Let us know your thoughts down in the comments below. And just a huge thank you for being here today, getting involved in the stories, your love, your support, your time. It always means the absolute world to me. So thank you so, so much. And don't forget at the very end of the video, there'll be a couple of playlists that you can click on. They will automatically scroll through all the videos for you. Thank you so much. I'll see you in the next one. Take care and much love. This is your business. This is your business, supercharged with the help of Xero counting software. These are your numbers. These are your numbers, sorted with the help of Xero counting software. This is you. Hi. This is you, taking business where you want with the help of Xero counting software. 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