Your Calling Is Closer Than You Think – Pastor Joby Martin & Denny Thompson

Built for more podcasts, Denny Thompson, Pastor Joby Martin. Just us again today with some amazing questions. Bro, I'm just going to say this. We've been putting out some bangers lately. Oh, my gosh. We cried like babies. You cried a lot in that last one. It's so embarrassing, too, because I'm like sitting right here by the camera. We put the men in menopause. Oh, my gosh. Yes, we did. Yes, we did. I mean, but if you listen to the Jake one and you didn't cry. April Cruz who I work for she texted us and was like I had to pull over she said she was driving in her car from somewhere and had to pull over big bad Jeff Kopp really who was also a Trojan graduate yes he texted was that just me or was that us maybe it was me that was just you yeah and he was like bro what was that and I was like bro we were a mess and he was like I'm a mess right now it was when he hit us with the kids I was already me too I was like already like halfway there and he hit the kid stuff man and it was just like because we just met the son too adorable absolutely adorable so yeah you know calvin whitaker do you know calvin don't calvin's a long time jacksonville guy uh i think his wife's i think they own the loops around you know okay and uh i've known him forever saw him come to christ 20 years ago or something he did text me something funny because he was listening to it and he was like when when i asked how'd you meet your wife? He thought he was going to say a blind date. That would have been amazing. That's why I love Calvin Whitaker. Would have been amazing. I want to go play golf with Jake. Yeah. I do too. Let's do it. For sure. For sure. I love these where we get the questions, and it's really what I've figured out I love about them is it makes me research, and it makes me literally just pull up Bible verse after Bible verse. And when we're interviewing somebody, I don't really get to do that because we don't know the direction it's going to go. Sure. So it's a different kind of research. And I love that about the questions. I'm going to skip around a little bit on these questions because there's a couple of low-hanging fruit that we can get to right away. The first one is so funny that we got this. It says, when are we getting an episode with the wives behind the pod? When did we talk about this? Friday? Like recently, right? Very recently. Very recently. We're going to try to do that. I don't know if you talked to Gretchen. I did talk to Angie. Is Angie an introvert? Very much. So is G. And what's crazy, though, because I make her do, The family, the 1122 family podcast. That was great, by the way. She taught more than all of us. She carried the whole thing. She's so good. That setup was good, too, because y'all had Allie, right? Yeah, Allie's great. That would be good. Allie can come on and ask questions if you want. We should do that. So that she can interview us and you're not. Because you're a great interviewer. We should do that. You really are. Just so you know, you're a great. I'm just interested. I can tell. Yeah. But you really are. No, we'll do that. We'll do that. Angie is introverted, but at the same time, she's like super wild. too. So when she does say something, you normally, you probably should listen. That type of thing. I know it's the old cliche about outpunting your coverage, but literally people, they will watch this and they'll be like, okay, how did y'all pull that off? If you don't believe in God after seeing this. And I'm like, dude, two things. The prayers of a righteous man availeth much. That's what James says. And then it was young and it's, we were young and it was a covenant. She can't get out. She got me at my peak, baby. I was 26. I always say a praying mom. Oh, yeah. Yes. Yes. My mom prayed that one to her. I'd say one of the greatest compliments I ever get in my life. My mother-in-law, sometimes I joke on mother-in-laws. I have the best one on the planet. Same. Like Joy Nicely is the, I mean, bro, she's just the salt of the earth. She's the best ever. And almost every time I see her, they live in Virginia. So, you know, we see her three or four times a year, but she will almost break into tears and just say, thank you. And I'm like, for what joy? She's like, just for taking care of my daughter. And I'm like, I haven't gotten that, but I do love my mother. That's so much better. Yeah. That's amazing. I got very blessed with the in-laws without a shadow of a doubt. Um, very, very blessed. We're going to start off with one question that we get every time we ask for this, but, but I'm always wanting to answer this because the name of our podcast is built for more. And that is, how do you know if you're in God's calling with your job? And he says, I'm a welder. So he puts that at the back, right? Which is why I'm kind of bringing this up because we always get the, how do we know if we're in God's calling, but we never get like what their job is. And I just thought it was interesting that he included the job. I'm a welder. So I just started looking at just some different Bible verses. And the first one that popped up was Proverbs 22, 29. Do you see a man skillful in his work? He will stand before kings. Let's go. Right. And then, well, let's talk about that for a second. Like welding, whatever it is, roofing, what we do, preaching, what I do, what you do, preaching, hunting, fishing, whatever it is. God's calling with your job. Is the with your job, Should that even be in there? Or should it be God's calling in all things? Yeah, it's like in all things. But I get it because, you know, especially as a man with the mandate to provide and protect. But we are also given the cultural mandate along with our wives to reorder the raw goods of this earth for human flourishing. So, Welder. All right. There's a young man named Jordan Rayner. He wrote a book called The Sacredness of Secular Work. Okay? He's actually a really, really good friend of one of our youth pastors here, Ryan Sweat. And I know Jordan, and I've been at some conferences with him. I would encourage you to read that book. It's not just what you can do with your job that makes it sacred. Doing a good job under the Lord and blessing people is sacred in and of itself. Like, I mean, let's just be real honest. Your pipes are busted, your toilet's overflowing. Who are you going to call, Russell Sweeney the plumber or me to come pray for it? You need Russell Sweeney to bless your family in that moment way more than you need me to come and read you a Bible verse, okay? I would, Russell Sweeney is a guy that we've told his story here at the church a bunch of times. him, Anthony Rucci, my friend Zeke, who does construction. There's so many people here at the church that I've known, and they're very successful entrepreneurs. It started as they were just kind of regular mid-level blue-collar guys, and then they went out on their own, and God's blessed them like crazy. And I'm always talking to these guys that you got to pay attention to the skills that God has given you. Honestly, one of the dumbest things you can ever do is chase your passion. That's not what the word means, by the way. Passion is a Latin word that means suffering, and it's to describe what Jesus did on the cross. What we have translated in passion, the passion, so like Mel Gibson's The Passion of Christ, means the suffering of the Christ. we have turned that word into something to mean i like it a lot right like i'm passionate about shoes right no you're not you're not willing to die for shoes so what you really need to do is find out what you're really really good at and lean heavy into that and dedicate that to the lord i don't even remember john tyson when he was preaching at saturated this year so he's a he's a very influential pastor in new york he's a dear dear friend of mine before he came over to New York to start a church, he was a butcher in Australia. And before anybody knew who he was, or he had no illusions of Christian grandeur. And while he's a butcher, every day before he would start butchering his cows or whatever, he would place out his knives and pray a prayer of dedication that these knives would bring glory to the Lord in every cut that he made. And it's not just the prayer that made what he did significant. He was feeding families. Like that is a very, very significant part of God's will for people. Now in that, we should all do the working of an evangelist. I think you're a really good example of leveraging what God's giving you to point more people to Jesus. But the way you do your job is also, if you do it as unto the Lord, it is sacred. There's no divide there. Exodus 31, let me ask you this, because I think this goes around, right? And now I'm going to get a name wrong. Is it Bezalel? Yeah. Is it, the Lord said to Moses, see, I have chosen Bezalel and I have filled him with the spirit of God with skill, ability, and with knowledge and all craftsmanship. Correct. Right. And he, the Lord gave him all that in order to fulfill what he was asking Moses to do. Correct. Right. And without that skill, you would not have been able to get to what the ultimate thing that happened with Moses was. Correct. Correct. Is that along the same lines of what we're talking about here? Yeah. A part of it is, it's like, if you're trustworthy in what you do, then God will give you more and more and more and more. What are you skillful at? Talking. Are you handy? No, but I, I, I honestly, I used to be when I had to be and now time is more precious to me than dollars. And so I don't have time to, to do the thing, to be handy. Does that make sense? It does. It does. But when I was a youth pastor and we needed hardwood, Gretchen wanted hardwood floors. I put in hardwood floors in our whole house. I just figured it out. And this is pre-YouTube. See, I don't have that skill. I want that skill. Yeah, I don't. I have no desire either, man. I do. I do. I do have the, I just don't have the skill. Bro, you put me with an IKEA box and I'm going to lose every bit of religion I've got within 30 minutes, man. I just don't have it. And so it's funny, like when somebody asks a question, like I'm a welder or I'm a builder, I'm like, wow, that's awesome. Like, people think I have this amazing job, and we get a ton of questions later. You do. But, yes, I know. But I am just as envious of those people that can build a house from the ground up. Yeah, everybody is. You know what I mean? Or even, you know, I would love for my wife to tell me, hey, this is broken. I'm like, hey, buddy, I got that. Like, I got to, like, go to Google and find somebody. Me too, everything. Yeah. And this is embarrassing, but whatever, I don't care. And if it's, like, something important, I'm not going to mess with it on my house. Same. Like, if you want me to put tile in, I'll try it for the first time at your house. I don't want my tile to look like a first-time tile person put it in, and it was me. So, that's part of it, too. And the older you get, the more refined you are going to be in whatever that thing is that you were good at. So, I mean, I'm a pretty good woodsman. You know, like, I hunt a lot. So when it comes to bows and sighting and rifles and knowing where to hang a tree stand and cutting, you know, all that kind of stuff, I do that and plant food plots and whatever. But even in that, I have leveraged that to the glory of God. I write my sermons in the woods. I take, I probably take 50 men a year. No, it's more than that. Almost 100 men a year hunting. So I've tried to take everything that I do and say, Lord, I just want to do it all for you. Like I don't ever clock out. Yeah. I'm just first and foremost before I'm a staff person of this church. I'm a follower of Jesus. And so I just want to do that in every arena of my life, whether I'm in the gym working out or whether I'm on a hunting trip or coaching my kids' stuff, whatever it is. That makes a ton of sense. Yeah. And we talk about this. I think where guys get held up on this is almost like an identity issue. You know what I mean? Like it's, it's, um, cause in this it's like, Hey, what's your name? What do you do for a living? That's, that's the world we live in. Right. You know? And it's, it's, it's at times it's like, even for me, it used to be a time where somebody was like, Hey, what do you do for a living? And I'm like, I train quarterbacks and everybody's like, that's a thing. yeah like and they instantly would kind of look at my wife like well what do you do that brings home money you know what i mean like just assuming that i'm out here like playing catch with kids or something um and so for a long long time like i was actually really ashamed of my job it was seriously like it's the coolest job i know it is now and you know the coolest people back then when when cars were getting repossessed and you know what i mean and it and it's like you you're saying, hey, this is my identity, and then everything that's tied to that identity is a growing business or whatever, you know, all the things, I think at times you can feel very separated from God in that. That's where you got to push on it because you've got to fight for your identity as a son or a daughter of God, and then this is what I do for a living, you know what I mean? Yep. Um, that's different than like, I am a preacher. I mean, I preach and I feel like God has given me this gift to do this thing, but I don't know if there's some weird accident happening and I can never talk again. I am still a son of God. That's a great, that's a great point. You know? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I think about it all the time because Angie's, you know, wrapping up her masters and she'll be doing the Christian counseling thing. She's crushing that in her internship. Like she's full of clients and all that. And I just laugh all the time because I have such an unconventional job. I'm like, everybody's going to think I got a sugar mama. I love that. Right. I love it. I love it. But there's a couple other things too, that I would give you on the work thing. There's this great line in, um, golly, what's the book? I'll think about it as I'm saying it. Wild at Heart and Wild at Heart by John Eldridge about the, about how men are image bearers of God. He says, when you're trying to figure out what to do with your life, ask, don't ask what this world needs. Ask what makes me come alive. Because what this world needs is for men to come alive. There's a bit of that in it. Okay. If you hate welding every day, that may be the spirit of God saying, I didn't create you for this. So it's hard for me without digging into the welder to see if that's what, you know, even if you're making money off of it. Okay, well then let's combine two questions. Well, let me give you one more, though. Okay. The other is perspective, though. Okay. If you're a good welder and you make a good living and whatever, and you've kind of lost your, like, oomph for it, sometimes you got to increase your vision a little bit to how God is using you in his kingdom. So there's this old preacher story, this old kind of parable. There's three guys. They're all bricklayers. A man goes up to one guy, what are you doing? I'm laying bricks. Next guy, what are you doing? I'm building a wall. Third guy, what are you doing? I'm expanding the kingdom. They were all actually doing the same thing. They're putting bricks on bricks. But when you begin to realize God is using me to help whatever the thing he's welding is very important to the life and livelihood of the people that need this. And when you can begin to see, like when I talk to policemen all the time, I'm like, listen, have you read Romans 13, man? People cry out, dear God, help. and he hears their prayer and he sends you. That's what you're doing. When I talk to medical professionals, people cry out, Dear God, please heal me. God hears your prayer and in walks the medical person. When you begin to see your role in God's activity on the planet, the why can definitely help you in understanding God's call in your life. So this is perfect because the next question we got was to me, and it said, Denny, how have you seen your faith change since launching this podcast? And that's part of it. Yeah, let's go. You said something to me last week about the desires of your heart change, right? So I'm going to take this, I'm going to answer this question, but take this to the welding example. You could be like, what is it, a master welder? Like that's the, which means you are really, really talented at it, right? God gave you a gift. Yeah, he gave you a gift. but that also could have been just for a period of your life could be right it could have been to maybe you met somebody i'm just reaching here maybe you met somebody that you were meant to impact or whatever maybe your work there is done right but that is the what needed to happen to get you to the next thing that's what i have found romans 12 2 you said last week um do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind. The last year, that's what's happened to me. Yeah. Right. It's, it's, and at times that can feel really confusing, like super confusing. To you. Yeah. Sometimes you gotta, sometimes you need some, this is where community matters a lot and too many men try to be the lone wolf. The lone wolf dies alone. When you run with a pack of godly men, then they can see things in your life that you're too close. you just can't see it. Like, God has not waited a second in your life, bro. All that time on radio, all that time training quarterbacks has made you really good with people, right? And now God has taken all of that stuff that, you know, you were chasing success, no problem, and he's going to shift it into significance. There's another great book, especially if you're kind of middle-age-ish, called Halftime. That's what the whole book is about. Think about this. Before King David becomes King David, he was a shepherd. And he could have thought that God put him out in the pasture to punish him. But little did he know, God was preparing him for all the things that would make him who he was. You know where he learned to play the harp? Watching sheep. Write poetry? Watching sheep. Get really good with a slingshot? Watching sheep. Well, that slingshot came in real handy when Goliath showed up. That harp came in real handy in poetry writing when he writes the book of Psalms. like this is a really we're still reading his poems that he wrote yep so god doesn't waste things right right and that's like i think that's what i was saying is the confusing part sometimes can be that you put every bit of effort into something and then you get to the other side of and you're like well okay well wait i'm where i wanted to be but this is just the beginning right i'm not even i thought that this plus this plus this would equal happiness fulfillment whatever like and i don't even it's not even that i even even doing it like righteously it you get to a point and you go and i found myself with this man with talking to you and with talking to angie and it's like i don't want to seem ungrateful but there's more you know what I mean? Like, like, babe, I know I told you that this was what I was going to do. We were going to grow this thing. And when I grew, grew this thing, this is what we were going to do. And, and we've done that, but now I'll be like, there's something else. There's, yeah, that's called, that's called God. There's a difference between godly ambition and selfish ambition. So there's a podcaster out there named Ruslan KD. Um, and he's kind of a Christian influencer guy. and he wrote a book called Godly Ambition. It's really good. The Bible says do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but there is a hustle under the Lord to bless God. He's also runs these conferences called the Bless God Conferences. Because think about it. Usually when we use the word blessing God, we're like, God bless me. He's trying to get, especially younger folks, to get their mind around how do I live a life that blesses God? And so I think this is the reason why, one of the reasons God says we walk by faith and not by sight. If God showed you your future, you would surely jack it up. Oh, no question. Because you'd live in the myth of there, and then you wouldn't be faithful right here. There's no way I could sit in the seat that I get to sit in now, being the pastor of Church of Love 22, if God would have shown me that when I was a youth pastor in Beaverdam, Virginia. Mm-hmm. But somehow, I have blinders on pretty good. It's like a gift of God that whatever the thing I'm doing feels like the biggest thing in the world. It feels like the Super Bowl. Yep. You know, one time I was feeling sorry for myself. This is embarrassing. When we first moved to town, we lived in those condos, Jardin and Mir, right behind Angie's. Okay. And, yeah, it was cool. And I was watching Braveheart, the greatest movie of all time. That's objectively true. And Gretchen comes walking in the house, and I think I have my boxers on, and I've just got a sword in my hand. And he's just done the freedom talk, you know, and sons of Scotland, you know, the whole thing. I can take away my life. I just got to take away our freedom. You know, I got the sword. And she walks in, and she's like, what are you doing, you know? Which led to a deeper conversation because I was like, And sometimes I just feel like I'm not enough. I mean, this guy's free in Scotland. And I'm a youth pastor over here doing pizza nights and stuff. And this is where a godly woman can just change your world. And she sat me down, knee to knee and eye to eye. And she was like, William Wallace is dead and done. And he's a legend. And he was fighting for lines on a map. in a place that's far away, and you're fighting for the eternities of boys and girls, students, and what you are doing as a youth pastor is infinitely more important than fighting for kings and kingdoms. And so, when we can reframe what we do for a living, and then dedicate it to the Lord it really does change things And then if God decides to change some stuff I mean dude Abraham he was 80 years old still living at his parents house And God like I going to make a great nation out of you He's like, what? Moses was 80 years old working for his father-in-law. So, you know, he's like thinking this ain't it. He was on the run. He'd killed a guy. He's just out there just tending sheep. God's like, I'm going to use you to deliver a nation. Same thing with David. It's a shepherd. And shepherds in the Bible was the lowest of low jobs, bro. It wasn't a good job. And Samuel's like, you're going to be the king. He's like, what? That's encouraging. Because I was 35 and had to move back in with parents. It happens. Yeah. So, I mean, that's super encouraging. But then at the same time, like when we talk about that, when we talk about, you know, Gretchen saying, hey, you've got a way more important job, I think that's where people will get at times stuck with the calling thing. Right? So I think that's the great debate inside of guys or people's head, not just guys, people's head that they deal with. And I dealt with that for a long time with the quarterback training thing. I think that's why I was ashamed to kind of say it. But now it is my mission field. It is. And I see that now, right? Where at the time, though, I did not at all, at all. Like I was actually, I mean, there was times like people would ask me what I was doing. And I was like makeup stuff to make it sound like I was like better than what I was. You know what I mean? Like I understand that. I'm not playing catch with 14 year olds. That's silly. But that's what I'm doing. When I met Gretchen in the gym, I didn't know if she was a believer or not. I just thought she was hot. So I was talking to her and she asked me what I did for a living. And I was a youth pastor. And I just thought, dude, if I tell her this, I got no shot. So I was like, I work with troubled teens. That's what I told her. Does that sound admirable? And then about three times later, talking to her at the gym, she just, I don't, she, she just kind of brought up oh I was raised in church because my grandfather was a church planter and my pastor and I was like I too am a man of the place wait wait wait let me rephrase this what do you mean you're a pastor I thought you said you work with troubled teens I was like have you ever met a teen that's not troubled I'm not lying so I understand that's amazing and to kind of put a bow in this how my faith has changed since launching this podcast um James 1 22 says do not merely listen to the word and so deceive yourselves. Do what it says. Anyone who listens to the word but does not do what it says is like a man who looks at his face in a mirror and after looking at himself goes away and immediately forget what he looks like. That's what this has done for me, man, is like I can sit in here and I can listen to you and I can listen to podcasts and I can listen to all these things, but this forced me to do. You know what I mean? Like this forced me. Like if I'm going to sit in here with the guys that I get to sit in here with who know as much as you guys know about this Bible, then I have to be in the Bible, number one. And number two is you can't fake what we're doing here. Like I have to do this. Yeah, there's no script. I'm not good enough to fake. Maybe you can. There are people that probably can. But I'm not that talented to just fake my way through this. And so it forced me to not just do research on the people that we're talking to, but to really get in my Bible and to be honest with myself and go, okay, like I believe all the things, but I'm not doing any of the things. And so it just made me a doer. There's still a lot of things I got to do. Me too. A lot of things. And I'm not patting myself on the back on this, but whenever I got that question, I read the James 122 a couple weeks ago and it just kind of rang true. It was like, oh, okay, well, that's what's happening right now. Well, so James says, do not be merely hearers of the word, and so deceive yourself, but do what it says. Then he gives the mirror analogy. Well, think about it. A mirror only identifies the problem. You don't get any credit for identifying that there's an issue. We all got it this morning. We looked in a mirror, and you know what we did? We did not abdicate responsibility. I didn't be like, Gretchen, we need new pillows. Look at what it's doing to my beard. It's not my fault. I had to do something. I had to, you know, take a shower and brush my teeth and you know what I'm saying, do the things. And so sometimes guys are discontent or whatever, and it could be a holy discontent. Like God might actually be moving in your life to do something different. Well, it's not enough to just look in the mirror and identify it. Now you've got to take responsibility. And John 2, 5 says do whatever he tells you to do. That's what you have to do. Okay, so let's put meaning to what he tells you to do. Okay. And what forms can that come in? That can come in like, I think for me, I literally, it saturated hurt from God. Right. I believe that. That's it. So what'd you do? Took steps. I did. It took me a while, but I took steps. Yep. Yep. But then there's also, you know, I don't think you can just sit around and wait for that either. I also have found that the deeper that I get into any type of Bible study, I also hear from God. Of course. Right? So it's like when you say, you know, God's leading me down a path. Well, I don't understand people that can say that if they're not praying, reading the Bible. Like, are you sure that's God reading you down the path or leading you down the path? You know what I mean? can you explain the different ways that you can hear from God? You can never go wrong by reading the Bible. This is how you're going to know the heart of God more and more and more and more. There are some general commands that all of us are supposed to be doing. Like there's some husband questions in here. Husbands, love your wife as Christ loved the church. I don't care what you pray about. That's your command. Husbands, live with your wife in an understanding way. That's a command. This is what we're supposed to do. go and make disciples, love God, love people. What I have found is the more trustworthy you are with God's general commands, the more he trusts you with the more specific assignments in your life. And the more you pray and the more you seek God in his word and in prayer. Gretchen posted a thing today. I saw it when somebody asked, what's more important, reading the Bible or prayer? And she said, that's like saying, what's more important, breathing in or breathing out? Like, you got to have both to live so that you know him. Jesus says in John chapter 10, he's a good shepherd. And then he says, my sheep hear my voice. So do you think it's because our lives are so busy and loud? If you're not hearing God, do you think it's because he's not talking to you or because your life's too busy and loud? And then I also think for the believer that knows God, that really knows God, that's abiding in Christ, that's John 15. You know when you're beginning to justify in your own flesh why you should or should not do a thing. You know, when that inner lawyer comes up and you negotiate with you, you'll always win. And when you just need to be obedient. I do also think it's very important to have other godly people that can speak into your life. Which is also what has happened with me here because I, by nature, am very much a loner. Like if you said, hey, describe your perfect day. there is nobody else involved in that perfect day you know what i mean like it's my wife and my kids yes but outside of that like i i'm i'm good sitting in a room by myself for eight hours that's insane way she's got a shirt that i don't let her wear in public because it's embarrassing and it says sorry i'm late i didn't want to come yes actually i got a call the other day from somebody and i don't remember who it was if you listen i'm sorry and they're like hey combine's next week oh yeah this week when this comes out um in fact when this comes out i'll be on the way. And they said, hey, do you want to get together, you know, grab dinner or something like that? And I'm like, no. And they're like, you got something planned? And I'm like, no, I just don't want to. At least you're honest. Like, nothing personal. I just, no, I'm good. At least you're honest. Yeah. Yeah. It's, but I, but this has helped me, not just with you, but get, I mean, listen, you get around guys like Mike Drogich and Jeff Kopp and, well, I mean, we could go through the list, you know, Reese Davis, all these guys. And you quickly figure out, like, I need these guys. I need to be around these guys. They all possess something that I don't possess currently, but if I'm around them, I will get. Something else, too. If you feel like the Lord may be leading you in a direction, I think you should share that out loud with some trusted people. There's some real accountability when you begin to say things out loud to people that, you know, trusted people that you perceive, know and hear from the Lord. because if you never said that out loud, hey, I think we should do a podcast, then how would nobody would ever know? Right. You could just be silently disobedient to what God was telling you to do. But when you tell me and I tell April and then we start talking and start making plans. Very true. Yeah. Very true. Yeah, that's a great point. Yep. Do you want to get to some of the marriage? We'll kind of skip around since you mentioned it. Sure. Well, actually, hold on before we get there. Sorry. When do you know is the right time to get saved? I've been going to church hardcore since September. Today. Do you do this now? Today. Right. If you wrote that question and you're listening to this right now. Right now. Admit I'm a sinner in need of a Savior. Believe when Jesus died on the cross, somehow that counted for me. Call on the name of the Lord and you'll be saved. Right now is the time to be saved. What are you waiting for? What's the upside to waiting? There is literally no upside. Sin, regret. Exactly. If you're waiting, the only thing you're waiting for is for you to feel like you're good enough to come to God, and that's never going to happen. Bro, and you're like, hey, I'm not ready to give things up. Bro, that's like giving up thirst for a cold drink of water. It's like giving up hunger for the best steak you've ever had. I mean, it's giving up insecurity for a relationship with the Almighty God. It's giving up shame. It's giving up condemnation. Yep. Well, and if you've been, as he said, going to church hardcore. Let's go. Since September. Put your faith in Jesus. That's right. Trust Him. Yep. But there's things, I mean, you obviously realize that you need something. Something is missing. The Spirit of God drawing you to himself. Right. So close the deal. Right. All right, let's get to the marriage thing real quick. As a man, how can I ensure my marriage honors the covenant my spouse and I made with God? Is that the one you were looking at? Mm-hmm. Yeah, that question jumped out to me. I love that it's personal on his side. How can I ensure? because you can't control what your wife does. But you actually made a vow. There's a big difference. The reason you don't do a contract when you get married is because a contract is like an if-then statement. If you do your part, then I'll do my part. A covenant means regardless of what you do, here's what I'm promising. In better or worse, rich or poor, sickness and health, I promise to be by your side as your faithful husband till death do us part. and so that's what you do and then ephesians chapter 5 is a great that's probably the preeminent text the whole book is the song of solomon i preached it a bunch of years ago i'm gonna write a book on it in two years um there's all kind of text in the bible about what a husband is supposed to do but the biggest thing is you got to see it as a covenant because god's covenantal love is a one-way love towards us. Regardless of what you do, God demonstrated his love for us in this, that while we were yet still sinners, Christ died for us. That's Romans 5.8. So you love her that way. And what's crazy is even if only one spouse begins to lean in, as long as there's not serious abuse or trauma or something like that, but there's at least some kind of semi-healthy people, the thing gets better and then it's amazing how a bride responds to being valued and loved and cared for and protected yes and there's gonna come times in any marriage where forgiveness and grace is necessary oh my gosh over and over this is wedding season for me man i haven't been to a wedding in years and i've got four of them stacked up and i just did one did you i don't do them anymore but cop's daughter mackenzie got married did she awesome congrats yeah and so cop did the majority of it but you gotta have like i gotta make it legal so yeah yeah and uh it was so great and it was sweet too because he wanted to walk her down the aisle so i did the part until the dad gives the daughter away yeah and so after he gave her away then i got out of the way and then he took over that's cool it was really sweet but sitting at a wedding like i was sitting at the wedding we went to this past week in south florida beautiful couple like awesome successful both of them it's it's angie's niece and uh you know just the whole time like you sit there and you're just like i'm just praying like you know i want their marriage to get to where our marriage is at but like maybe without all the drama that we had you know what i mean and that and that that largely can come back to, I got married young and I didn't know how to forgive and I didn't know what grace was. And, you know, I thought that there were, um, there were places for marriage and there were, you know, I'm going to go out sometimes. I'm going to hang with her sometimes, like, you know, all the young stupid stuff. And then you, and then you get to a point where it's not just, it's not just you. It's, it's, it's, it's both of you that need the graces, both of you that need of forgiveness. And at that point, like that's where marriages are made. And men, you can't stand up there in a ceremony and explain that to people. You can only live it through. But if somebody asked me like, what's been the biggest key to our marriage? One is we put God at the center of it. That's the first thing, point blank, period, end of story. But after that, pretty quickly comes true forgiveness and grace. Not like, I'm going to let you slide, but I'm going to keep reminding you of what you did. But true forgiveness and grace, the way that God forgives us and gives us grace. Yeah. And Ephesians chapter 5, before it gets to the kind of more famous verses where it says, wives submit to your own husband as unto the Lord. By the way, it doesn't say women submit to men. It just says that a wife is to be submissive to her own husband. And I know the word submit is not very popular, but neither is staying married. And it doesn't mean that the wife has to stay home and churn butter and cook and clean. That's not what it means. You guys can figure out chores on your own. It just basically means she is his biggest cheerleader. That's it. Her job ultimately is to make him feel like the man. Then it says, it doesn't say husbands lead. It says husbands love your wife like Christ loved the church. All right. But before those two verses, there's an umbrella verse that says submit to one another out of reverence for Christ. So you don't submit to one another because they're submittable to. You submit to one another to revere Christ. And basically what that means in 21st century vernacular is, I'm just going to make your deal a bigger deal than my deal. And let me tell you who does that. Really good friends, that's how they treat each other. And a really good marriage starts, it doesn't start in the bedroom. It starts by being really good friends. Yeah. And that takes work. You never just accidentally find yourself in this deep abiding friendship with somebody, you know? No. And a lot of marriages kind of go south because people just get busy and they just assume upon it. The Song of Solomon, which is the preeminent text in the Bible about love, sex, dating, marriage, courtship, how to fight, and how to grow old together. And what's funny is there's one chapter on the honeymoon. There's two chapters on how to fight. in the Bible. Don't tell me that's an old book. It's a timeless book. And so when you focus on it, one of the illustrations it uses more than anything else is it talks about the marriage like a garden. Nobody has ever neglected a garden or your yard, for that matter, into being this beautiful, immaculate, producing all the flowers and fruit kind of garden. No, no, no. There's a lot of tilling. There's a lot of pruning. There's a lot of work for you to get the payoff of the fruit. And so the biggest thing that you can do to make sure that you're, you know, honoring God in your marriage is work, man. Like do the, like love her. And that's not feeling. First Corinthians 13 just says love is, not love is like or love feels like. Love is patient and kind and not self-serving. It's not rude. It keeps no record of wrong. it's not easily angered but then you wake up and you're 50 or almost 50 and you realize that if you gotta go to war and you need somebody in a foxhole bro it's her it just I mean it just it cause the things that she has done for me and the things that she has forgiven this you wanna embarrass here I got one we're not even embarrassing it's actually kinda dope me and my dad were at a Jags game this was forever ago like late 90s okay we get jumped oh my gosh and uh i look up and angie's got a dude just wearing up kicking him right in the groin just mama bear oh just going to town yeah you know and it's like yeah holy cow now i won't i won't say what some of the other people in our group were doing but they were not participating they were right right and there's your there's my wife and and that's a i don't mean that like a literal foxhole but man when when i think about the things that that woman has forgiven me for and the ways that she has shown me forgiveness and the way that she has shown me how she loves me and will be there for me at all times, like, there is not another person in the world that I trust more than her, like, to do anything. I'm with you, dude. I mean, but you don't get there without the hard times. Not at all. I mean, you got to grind through some stuff, you know. Like, that whole, that John 15 passage is another gardening passage where Jesus says, abide in me and I'll abide in you. And then the whole illustration, he says, God, my father's like the gardener. and I'm the vine, you're the branches, so stay stuck to me because I'm going to be the one who gives life. But my dad, he prunes some stuff. And if you've ever pruned a tree or had somebody prune your yard, they don't just cut out the dead stuff. They cut out the sucker branches that are alive, and if a plant could feel, it would hurt, and it makes it look terribly ugly for a while so that it can turn into something really beautiful. So, yeah, Gretchen has my back, man. I mean, everything from, you know, there's some tough stuff. Sometimes I'll walk through leading this church, and I'll just be like, I need you to pray specifically for this thing. You know, sometimes leadership's hard. Or there's this girl, like, got an online campaign against me with false information, you know. People just Google stuff and believe everything it says. You know what I mean? Yep, yep. Specifically about my net worth. You're loaded, bro. So Gretchen texted me. That's the rumor. She texted. It was kind of funny. Yeah, so there's this, some website out there says my net worth is $24 million. Gretchen's like, can I get some of that? I was going to ask you. You want to invest in something? It may be one 24th of that if you count my house. You understand? All right. So, by the way, it also doesn't have my birth. It says I was born in 1984. I was wondering 1973 You've done a lot That's something this investigative reporter Right If you can't check that fact All right But she wants to go freaking mama bear right now Yeah And I'm like no no no no no Just relax Yeah If you try to fight people like this I'm just telling you It's like wrestling a pig Everybody gets dirty and the pig likes it Yeah You know But the fact that she's kind of I love it We can edit this out We never edit anything out We can edit this out if we need to So what if you are worth $24 million? I wish I was. Right. I've been around you enough to know that I thought I was one of the hardest working people on the planet. Yeah. Bro, I think you exceed me. Well, I don't know. We all have our lane. I mean, I grind. I love it. That's what God put me on the planet for. Yeah, I mean, I would not apologize for whatever the Lord has brought to me. and we have pre-decided in my house that it's all God's and we honor him and we bring our first and best and we are, you know, generous to the Lord. We are pushing to expand the kingdom, et cetera. But when Brock Purdy signed his new deal, the first thought, I think you and I even said this on here. I talked to him. Who else would you want to have that much money? If somebody's got to have that money, it's going somewhere. I want people like him to do. Here's what's great. I'm in a discipleship relationship with him. because you train him and he comes to our church. We talk before, during, and after it all. And all this brother's trying to do is be faithful to God. I felt like I had to make him get a bass boat. You know what I mean? He was like, we talked through this stuff. He's like, all right, dude, you're going to go first and best, foundation, maybe, maybe not. Give it a minute. You don't have to start one today. You might just double down with somebody else's. or, you know, what kind of house you're going to live in. Yeah, you could do 10x that and you'd be fine, but you're deciding, you know, that's fine. A lot of this is relative to just where you are in the world. What does Jenna want? That's his wife. Bless her, dude. You know what she has to put up with to be married to you? You're the best guy. But everywhere you go, everybody wants a piece of you. And so she has to share you with 49er Nation and all of us. We talked about that. And then at the end of it, I was like, hey, dude, what do you really like what would you just love to have a bass boat because I know he likes to fish and he's like you think I'd be okay I'm like bro you just done 265 million dollars what is a bass boat 90 grand get you a bass boat after you've brought your first and best to the Lord right you're not living beyond your means or even close you're investing in the future for future generations all right all that squared away All right. God is a good dad He loves to give you good gifts You have been faithful and now God is trusting you with more Great bro Because sometimes that what we do is we forget God is a good dad He loves to bless his kids. Not with stuff, but— I forget that all the time. I do. I forget that all the time. When you live a life of generosity, your first foot is generosity, and your financial financial life is a line declaring that Jesus is before all things. It'll take all the guilt and shame away from enjoying life. Enjoying life. I can attest to that. I mean, we, I can definitely, we talked about it before we started with, with Logan Cook. And, and I have been tithing faithfully and joyfully. And, and like, I, I get paid different than most people. Sure. You know what I mean? Like I don't get a regular check. Um, but I mean, I know when I'm getting the check and usually before it even hits the account, like, uh, all right, I'm going to go ahead and give, I'm not saying that to brag. I'm saying not at all. In fact, I'm saying that to say that it has, and I cannot explain how, but it has changed my life. It's not like I went and made more money. It's not like I didn't, it's not any of that, but the guilt and the shame that I felt before that I brought to you and Logan and y'all said, well, you need to tie. Yeah. y'all were 100% right, is completely gone. I don't feel guilty at all about what I do or what I make or anything like that. You shouldn't. I don't. And I don't apologize for it. And that is a 180 from where I was whatever month that was. So I can definitely attest to that for sure. Let's see. This is interesting. How do you know if you're living a righteous life? All right. The terms matter, okay? So, almost always in the New Testament, particularly like Galatians and Romans, when the Bible says the word righteous, it's not talking about activity. It's talking about a right standing before God. So, do you know Jesus? If you have put your faith in Jesus Christ, the Bible says that God has imputed you with the righteousness of Christ. 2 Corinthians 521 says, for God made him who was without sin, that's Jesus, to be sin. So he went to the cross and he took our sin at the cross. God made him who was without sin to be sin for us that we might be made the righteousness of God. So that's what a righteous life is. And it is your right standing before God that drives your activity. Your activity doesn't determine whether you have a right standing before God. If you get that wrong, you don't know the gospel. The gospel is not, if I obey, then I'll be accepted. The gospel is, because of what Christ has done, I am accepted. Therefore, that compels me or drives me to live an obedient life. The righteous will live by faith. That's right. Right, right, right, right. And that word faith is pastuo, which means believe in, trust in, put your whole self into it? Out of abundance of the heart, the mouth speaks, Matthew 12, right? That's the first thing I thought of when I saw this question because, again, I don't ever do this to make this about me. I don't want to speak for other people, so I'm just saying my experience, right? Again, over the last year, like I would have told you, I mean, I had faith and all that kind of stuff, but I didn't, I didn't spend enough time to where what was coming out of my mouth, um, could be classified as righteous or faithful or whatever. Right. Yeah. And you, you said this many, many times. Um, and it's so true just one day you wake up and you say something and you're like, wait, where did that come from? Yeah. You know what I mean? Like, and it's, you know, you give the water bottle example all the time about what's in you will come out of you, all that kind of stuff. And man, that is so incredibly true. It's not like you, I think a lot of times people think, okay, well, if I start reading the Bible, I'm going to have to be a whole different person. No, you become a different person. From the inside out. That's right. In the Bible, in Galatians 5, this is called the fruit of the Spirit. Love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. Those things are not manufactured from the outside in. Like if you go to buy fruit at Publix, it's in the produce section. It's not in the manufacturer set. You can't manufacture fruit. It is produced from a seed to a plant and it is produced. If you want to go get something manufactured, you go to Lowe's and we make stuff. And a lot of Christians think that what it means is to try to be more loving and joyful and peaceful and patient. Think about how silly, just think about how silly it is to try to be more patient. Yeah. How is that possible? Patience is trying to bend on my patience. Exactly. So if I were to go and buy a two by four from Lowe's and nail an orange to it, it doesn't make that an orange tree. So if I just, if I'm just trying to manufacture like white knuckle behavior, it won't work. What you've got to do, it's back to John 15, you abide in Christ. You get close to him, his word, prayer, his people, worship. That's it. And then God begins to do things in you. Now you should war against sin in your life because it's trying to kill you in your sleep. You shouldn't pet it, shouldn't tame it. It's like you got a pet lion at your house. Either you be killing sin or it'll be killing you. That's Jonathan Edwards. That's what he said. And then what begins to happen is the moment you got saved, then God ripped out your heart of stone, gave you a heart of flesh. That's what Ezekiel says. God puts his spirit on the inside of you. And over time, not overnight, this is called progressive sanctification, he begins to form you and mold you into the image and likeness of his son as you follow after him. And then just like you said, what will be— And here's the thing. Here's the thing about our— When you grow in Christ, you hardly ever— It's hard to see your own growth because you're with you every day. Have you ever seen you grow? Or remember when your kids were real little? I remember Gretchen would leave when they were real little and I thought oh gosh she'd be gone for a while come back she'd be like well nothing happened they just laid there they didn't do a thing and I've never seen my kids grow and then yesterday Gretchen's like JP's taller than you well when did that happen I've never seen him grow but over 20 years not 20 minutes obviously he has been growing and that's often times what our faith is like. But he's also been nourished and, you know, he does the thing. So when we nourish ourselves with the Word of God, when we are connected to God, then he begins to produce things from the inside out to change us. Angie and I were at the wedding this past weekend and we were having dinner one night. And we started talking about this very thing, actually, which is something else, by the way, just talking about all this at dinner with your wife. didn't see that coming 10 years ago. But she even made the comment. She's like, it's interesting how we're both completely different people than who we thought we were marrying. Like completely different. Like all the things that I thought I was based off of, nothing negative about any of this, but where I grew up, what I grew up around, all that kind of stuff kind of defines who you are at times as a young kid, right? And then you get to a point in your life, especially as I got closer and closer and closer with God, where the definition of who I am, and it changed and it became great. It became, okay, these aren't faults that you have just because they're different than what other people had around where you grew up. This is like how you were made, right? And it wasn't until I started leaning into how I was made and the strengths that God gave me that all of this started to happen for me. And that, honestly, it's like my biggest fear now too. It's my single biggest prayer right now in my life is, because I will go with blinders. I will say, all right, this is the direction God wants me to go in. I'm not, I know that. I'm going, right? But then sometimes, like, you know, there's a detour. Oh, dude, yeah. It's all over the Bible, right? There's all over the Bible of people called to do things, and when they're on their way to do those things, they hear from an angel or they hear from God, and they have to make a detour, and then they get to the thing, right? That's the biggest fear of my life right now. The biggest fear is that I get so focused on me and my drive, and God wants me to do this, and I feel like I'm in the right standing with God, that I almost will desert my relationship with God in order to fulfill what I think God wants me to do. but he's still got other ways to prune me before I do what I'm supposed to do. Does that make sense? It makes a ton of sense, right? When we were planning this church, I called some pastors that have a lot more experience than I do, particularly in the city. And I have the best pastor ever, Pastor Jerry Sweat. But I called, somehow I got connected with Bishop Vaughn McLaughlin at the Potter's House. Yes. I mean, you don't talk about a dude. I mean, what a kingdom expansion kind of guy. So I have no idea why he took my call or took time to spend any time with me. Before, now it's a thing. 1122 is a thing. We were an idea. And I brought my team over to his church, and we walked that old mall that he turned into, not just a church, but a community, and took us to dinner and, I mean, just on and on and on. And at one point, he said, Pastor, let me tell you this. Whatever you do, don't do what God told you to do. And I was like, what? I thought that's exactly. He goes, no, no, no. You do what God is telling you to do. That is good. And he said, if Abraham would have done what God told him to do, he'd have killed Isaac. But you've constantly got to live by faith and do what God is telling you to do. John 2, 5 is perfect present tense. Do whatever he tells. That means that he is continuously telling you to do. Because I thought I was going to be a youth pastor forever. I thought we were going to live 45 minutes from Gretchen's home forever. You know, when he said marry her and buy that house, if I would have still been doing that, we wouldn't be doing this. Yep. Yep. So many of those. So many of those. You can go through so many of those. Seriously, Joey, that's my biggest fear right now. Like, as I'm walking through all of this stuff and things are great, I just, it's like, I can see myself, because I know me, I can see myself getting just so laser visioned that I miss the parts that I'm supposed to be pruned with. Well, one of the things that you always, this is why a godly woman, man, is a crown to her husband. Because, you know, you constantly share hopes and dreams and what you think God's telling you to do because it affects your entire family for sure. And then she has the loudest voice in it. I mean, before we planted this church, I came to G and I was like, babe, you know it'd be easier for us if i just took a preaching gig somewhere at some established big mega church yeah and she was like but she's like i i thought god called us to make disciples in jacksonville and i don't think we're done what i really needed her to speak some life into me you know and she did lou holtz i heard him say this one time the reason you should listen to your wife this is such a lou holtz thing nobody loves you like she does nobody knows you like she does and nobody is less impressed than she is it's so true because she'll tell you what you actually need to hear yep yep yeah there's a there's a second part to that equation though there's you when i was younger i would go to angie with these thoughts and these ideas and she would be supportive of those thoughts and those ideas, but then I wouldn't execute those thoughts and ideas. So then the next time you go, what is she going to be? A little less supportive of it, right? Like, well, wait, you just went all in with this and now you're telling me there's something else, right? So I do think that there is a second part of that equation as a husband of I no longer go to Angie and tell her what my thoughts or ideas are. It is a group conversation, right? is we are we. We are one. And it is not so much, this is what I'm going to do is, hey, what do you think we should do with this information that I have? But one of the things as a husband you cannot do, okay, because it is our job as husbands. We have the mandate to be prophet, priest, servant, king, provider, and protector. Yep. And sometimes dudes, for the sake of their passion, abdicate the provision and protection. So, okay, so you got a dream to be an artist and you're a welder. Well, God has said that the one that can't take care of his family is worse than the unbeliever. That's right. So I don't care what your dream is. If it doesn't provide and protect your family, it ain't God's dream for you, man. Or you just might have to do both for a long time. And too many boys that can shave are heaping the weight of responsibility on their wife so they can chase a dream. That ain't it, man. Yep. So. Yep. Well, and that's why I was saying that I think you have to earn. Right. The right to have that. Come on, not the right. You have to earn the right standing. No, that's it. Just kind of earn the right. Yeah, to have that conversation. Like, are you trustworthy? That's right. That's right. Like, if I go to Angie like I did this past weekend, and I say, hey, this is what's on my heart. This is what I've been praying about. Yep. I have a good enough recent history of doing what I say I'm going to do and providing and making sure, and not just financially providing, but making sure I'm spending time, what she needs, the kids need, anything, right? That now it is a conversation. Right. Whereas before it was even I knew when I was going to her, I'm like, oh, she's not going to like this because I don't even like saying this. So I do think, you know, some of these marriage questions, it does take context. Like, are we talking about, did you just get married and you're dropping this bomb on her and there's no trust and there's like, you changed the script? Or have you been married for a while, right? And y'all have done this thing together and now you both feel a calling to do something else or to add to, maybe not even do anything else. Maybe just, I need to keep doing what I'm doing. But when I'm done with what I'm doing for work vocationally, then in our personal time, we need to do this instead of sitting around and doing this. Does that make sense? Yeah, when people ask me, especially about a big change of career or something, my first question is, what does your wife think? Or it could even be a thing, like they hear me preach on fostering or adoption, and one of the spouses is like, I want to do that. I'm like, what does your spouse think? Because God is a God of unity, not disunity. And what he has joined together, let no one tear apart, including your own dream. So I would never, you know, like I've thoroughly believed that the two, Gretchen and I have become one. And so if one of us has an idea, then that's up to the Lord to unify us in this for us to understand. Bro, just think for a second. How old were you when you got married? I was 26. I was 21. Let's go. She was 19. What a risk they take. Yeah. They are hitching their whole life to the 26-year-old version of myself. And she's going to risk her life's hopes and dreams. She's going to hold them in her hands and hand them to me and say, I hope you can take care of us. I hope you can steward this thing well because you are the head, you know? Now, there was a time where it was like we were not lockstep on anything, but we loved each other and we survived it. Now, the only thing in our life that we're not lockstep on is how many dogs she can have. I'm like, two is enough for me right now. If it was up to her, she'd have a whole yard full of 12 of them. But that's it. That's it. This was an interesting question. Can we have self-confidence while giving God everything? This is where I'm stuck is what this person said. I don't. Self-confidence isn't the right word. Okay. Okay. On the surface, how do you have confidence without giving God everything? Well, confidence is fine, but the self part is what messes all that up. The Bible says in Galatians 6, 14, but far be it from me to boast except in the cross of our Lord Jesus Christ by which the world has been crucified to me and out of the world. Billy Graham taught me that verse at dinner one night. Well, that's a flex right there. You had dinner with Billy Graham? I did, yeah. Oh, wow. A few years before he died, you know, he'd go to the Mayo for all of his checkups and stuff. And we knew the doctor, and so we had dinner together. And I asked him, if you could preach one more time, what would it be on? And he was like, Galatians 6.14. Wow. And I'm going to be honest, I didn't even know what it said. And I was just, I just was like, mm, mm, so good. And he couldn't see too good at that point in his life, so I got my phone out, and I went to my Bible app over by my knee. If anybody had reason to boast or be confident, it's Billy Graham. No question. He literally has preached to more people and led more people to Christ than any other human being in the history of the world. And he lived a lifetime of integrity. And the thing that was on the tip of his tongue when he's like 90-something years old is far be it for me to boast. but what you can boast in is in the cross of Jesus Christ. So you should have all the confidence in the world that God looks at Jesus before he ever does anything and says, behold my son in whom I am well pleased. And back to the righteousness question, if you are in Christ, you have the imputed righteousness of Christ in you. So when God looks at you, he actually sees his son Jesus. So you have the confidence that God has put his approval on you and none of that is in yourself. now you get to swing for the fences because you already have approval you're not working for it yeah that's the key difference i'm gonna bring up brock again because we i love that dude when we did the episode with brock which was like one of our first episodes i think it's like our third episode or something right um there was a point there where we were talking about this and i was talking about you know when people ask kind of how all this happened or whatever it's like if i make this about me, it feels like stolen valor. And Brock and I continue to talk about that after the podcast, just kind of like, oh yeah, that's, that's, that's very, very true. Uh, first Corinthians 15, 10, by the grace of God, I am what I am and his grace toward me was not in vain. And that's the verse that keeps coming back to me because now I'm getting like opportunities to talk to people just about this stuff. And the question always comes up, well, how did you get here? And I don't have it. I usually avoid the answer, Joey, because I don't really have the answer. But that to me is the answer. By the grace of God, I am what I am. That's right. Right. And that's where my, as this guy put it, self-confidence comes from because I didn't see, and I don't talk about this podcast or what I do for a living. I'm talking about marriage. I'm talking about my relationship with my kids. I'm talking about all the things, right, that is good in my life, I don't deserve any of that. It is by the grace of God that I have all of that, and God has shown me that, and that's why I walk around every single day with extreme confidence, and as long as I'm doing what is for God, I'm as confident as I can be. Now, the minute that I start to get greedy and I'm like, I'm going to go do this, then that confidence fades away, but any shred of confidence that I have in what I am doing or how I am doing it comes from my history and this Bible telling me that all things are good in God. And if it's not good, it's not finished. Amen. Yeah, that's Romans 8, 28. So yeah, the answer is one step at a time, and God led me every step. Yes. Sometimes through me because this is how he wired me, and most of the time in spite of me because I would have screwed it all up. Yeah. Kind of back to your, if God showed you this right now. I go back to 20 years ago, and God says, I'm going to give you, here's what this is going to look like now. Go figure this out. I don't know if I would have had the character and integrity at 32 to be faithful to shepherd and pastor the youth group that I was in charge of at Beach at that time. I would have been looking ahead. But you could not have convinced me when I was 32 years old that I was not doing the most important thing in the entire world. That was about the time that I was doing the Braveheart thing and my boxers and Gretchen was speaking life into me, going, baby, you're fighting for the souls of eternity here. This matters, you know? Yeah. See, it's funny. I love when we do this because when I thought of that, I took it a different way. Like if God would have shown me what I have now back then, I would have, exactly what I said before, funny enough, I think I'd have been so laser focused on, okay, God showed me the way. How do I get there? Yeah. That all the things that pruned me and got me there I wouldn't have allowed to happen. You might not have the integrity to work, to hustle, to get there either. No question. Yeah. I mean that why you know so many like rich trust fund kids are just brats because it just handed to them Yep You know Yep Well let go back to the marriage What if God showed me this marriage 20 years ago? Right. I would have screwed this up so bad. Totally. So, so bad. Totally. Yeah. Can I tell you a good Brock story? Yes, please. So we talked to, Gene and I talked to Brock and Jenna, and they wanted us to come to, they invited us out to a 49ers game so we worked it all out and it was over christmas break and so we all went out there and it was that uh it was that bears game so you had your two guys right there wearing it out right and what a game yeah and brock's like hey man you're gonna sit in the box with my family and i'm like that's awesome so i get my i get my whole crew 49ers gear for christmas which i never thought i'd ever buy anything from san francisco but they're nfc so I can read. It's fine. So he's like, well, I also want y'all to come out and say hey to me on the, or he didn't say all that. He just said, I got sideline pass, pregame sideline passes. So we get there early. Jenna's like, yeah, you want to go down early. We go down early. They're warming up. He's throwing the ball to Christian McCaffrey. We're standing on the sidelines. And I'm telling my family, I'm like, guys, he's at work. So it's not like when we see him at church. Right. It's like right before I walk out. Like, no, you got, we got to leave him alone. He keeps looking over. And Gretchen's like, I think he's looking for us. Stand up front. He'll recognize your beard So I get up here Sure enough He comes jogging over Dude there's a thousand people On the sideline They're losing their minds They're like He walks right past everybody Kind of says Excuse me Says Reagan Give me a hug Reagan Dude he's gonna play In 51 minutes On Sunday night football High five JP Hey bro How you doing You good Say y'all wanna take A couple pictures So we take a few pictures So we're We're heading back up To sit with his family And I'm like Guys How awesome is this and JP, this is the funniest thing ever, so please just give some grace on this. And he goes, that was awesome. I just hope people don't think I was the Make-A-Wish kid. That's what he says. Then they announced the Make-A-Wish kid, and he was like, okay, well, I hate it for her, but I'm off the hook, okay? And then, so we're in the box with his family. His family's amazing, all right? His dad looks just like him. You obviously know his dad's super good. First play of the game, he throws a pick six. bro I thought this is gonna be quiet this is then from that play on he both he and Caleb they played they were unbelievable at one point I asked his dad because I love to ask this question I learned it from here I love to ask when did you realize you know and so I go hey Mr. Purdy when did you realize your boy could do this and bro he got all teared up and you know he was just thinking about it because he's in the moment so much And then he was like, he's about seventh grade in flag football. He just did things other guys couldn't do. Three plays later was that one where Brock holds on the ball for 9.8 seconds, jukes those two guys, looks like he's going to run it, no looks it. He comes over and he goes, that's what he did. Okay. So that was awesome. He wins. He's MVP of the game. I mean, let's go. So he had told us to come down to kind of see him after the game at the locker room just to catch up. So we're down there. His whole family His baby His wife You know we're down there All the dudes are coming out of the locker room Bro half of them are like Bill for more I'm telling you It was cool So I say hey to them Brock comes out We catch up for a little while I just want to I want to give you the The humility of Brock Purdy So he's like You know thanks We catch up Takes pictures And I'm like Alright well we got it He's like you know how to get out Where are you going I was like well I think We need to go to the Uber lot Because our Our ride can't get to the stadium So we told him we'd meet him at the Uber lot Jenna's like Dude that's like That's like two miles away. They chat for half a second. He's the MVP of the Sunday night football game. Just got beat to death. And he goes, Mom, Dad, we all take the baby. Just hop in the truck with us. Wow. And give us a ride back. Yeah. Brock Purdy. Yep. You know what I'm saying? Yep. And it never crossed his mind to do anything other than, like, so I say all that to say, this guy's accomplished. other than winning the Super Bowl, every athlete's a dream. And in that moment, he just has somebody that needs a ride. He's got every excuse in the world to not bring that up. You know what I mean? Well, you guys wouldn't even, like if he said, you know, the Uber lot's that way, it's two miles, you'd have been like, all right, thanks. Like, he didn't. I thought he was great to give us tickets and invite us. No expectations. And then we get out of the car and he drops us off. I mean, it's a weird thing to go to a ball game and the quarterback from the game will give you a ride home. You know what I mean? Yeah, yep. And his Toyota. And his Toyota plug here. That's right. Yep, yep. And so there's something about you know him really well. I know him. He's just never let it get too big. No. He's just doing what God's called him to do. No. And even when he's training, lifting, whatever, let's go back to the welder thing. it's not just when he's in front of 80,000 people playing a football game. When he's in that gym and there's a sixth grader working out over there and they see Brock Purdy, they see a guy who is excelling at his job, putting everything that he has in there for the glory of God. No doubt. Whether he's in front of 80,000 or whether he's in front of three people that he's known for a while. When he gets on that field, dog. Dog, dude. Absolute dog. So some people, this is probably true with you coaching. Some people I disciple and do this work. I mean, we're trying to grow fruit out of like a concrete jungle, bro. Some dudes, him, I'm like, all right, we're going to talk about it. It's like, I just want to love Jesus more. I just want to love and serve my wife better. I just want to impact my community. Be like, okay. It's like coaching the guy with all the talent that is the hardest worker. So imagine that in regards to discipleship. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. What are you going to do? Yeah, yeah. So if I'm like, hey, read these verses and we'll talk about them next time. He's read those verses and the commentary's on them. You know what I mean? Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's all the work. You do get these guys. They come in and you look at them and you watch them and they're throwing and all that kind of stuff. And you're just going to look at them like, I don't really know what there is. Good job. I guess I'm just going to stand back here and clap. And sometimes that's it. Honestly, sometimes people just need an older guy in their life to cheer them on a little bit. You know, I think these, I have a lot of thoughts on that, actually. I think these guys, you know, the old saying, if they put their pants on just like everybody else is number one, so true. Like they, at the core, they want to be looked at as just everyday people, right? They don't have a job that allows them to do that. But I think that the ones that succeed and are truly happy in this are exactly what we've been talking about all day, man. they're taking the talent that God gave them and they're doing that for the most for the kingdom of God. This is not about, you know, all the money and cash and prizes come with it, but this is not about how many cards or jerseys can I sell. Not to any of the great ones, I don't think so. Not any of the ones I've been around. It is, man, I'm so thankful to be in this and I just don't want to screw this up. And the way that I don't screw this up is I work harder than everybody else. I'm more diligent than everybody else. I'm more prepared than everybody else. And when my time comes, I'm going to take advantage of that opportunity. Right. There's not, there's not a, there's no fear in this thing. And that's, and we talk about all the time, you know, how many times is that mentioned in the Bible? 366. That is a perfect example. This is a guy who is undersized, playing with absolute creatures out there who are trying to like, I mean, I'm not, I don't think I'm saying like they're trying to hurt him in some way of course right and there is no this dude standing there just dialing up the middle of the field there is no fear about anything around him and then he walks off that field and you start to see why it's the way he's grounded and this game only means what this game means but when he walks off that field his relationship with jesus christ is the most important thing in his life and there is nothing that can happen on that field that's going to affect that and he's out there with his stand firm bracelet on that's right you know letting it sling doing what the word says stand last pick in the draft yeah letting the sling, man. He did not let that define him. Talk about living free. No doubt. Yeah, we just gave a great, brought pretty hype up soundtrack, man. I might lay that over as highlights. I know. Let me see. Did you see anything else on here that, oh, here we go. Here we go real quick. Can you explain the difference between our old self, the sinner, and our new identity in Christ, particularly in prayer, mindset, and everyday living? All right. Well, this is going to be a speaking, the old you is dead and you are created new in Christ. That's 2 Corinthians 5. But you still hold on to your flesh and a mind is a part of that. This is why in Romans 12, it says, do not be conformed to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Because God rips out your heart of stone, gives you a heart of flesh. That's Ezekiel. God deposits his spirit in you. And yet you should still have all your same hiccups. You still have all your upbringing, your birth order, however you were wired, and the world is trying to pour you into the form of the way this world says do things. So what Paul says that you've got to do is you've got to not be conformed, but be transformed by renewing your mind. The way you renew something is you take off the old, you put on the new. Identify the lies that you're buying into in the world and replace it with the truth of the Word of God. If you want to see this played out in a beautiful place in Scripture, it's Romans chapter 7. In Romans chapter 7, this is the piece of Scripture, it's as honest as it gets. I mean, Paul is just tormenting himself. He's like, what is wrong with me? The things I don't want to do, these things I keep on doing, and the good things I want to do, I don't do them. Now, Paul is 100% a Christian at this point. The first six chapters of Romans are just about the gospel. Yeah. And what he's talking about is this war between the flesh and your saved and being sanctified self. Everybody can identify. Correct. So if you ain't at war, you might want to scratch your head a little bit. Unless you think you're perfect, and then you might be the most dangerous person. A different war. Yeah. So, and then Paul asked the right question, though. He does not ask, what should I do? He says, who would save a wretch like me? And so once again, he comes back to the cross, and he says, I give glory to God through Jesus Christ that I'm saved, which leads to Romans 8.1. Therefore, because of all that, therefore now there is no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus. So what I would say is that your new identity in Christ is going to be a process, a long, slow, and often painful process of taking the Word of God and the Spirit of God like a hammer and a chisel and chiseling everything away in you that doesn't reflect Jesus. And it's going to take your entire life until you breathe your last year, and then one day, in the twinkling of an eye, you'll be glorified, and you'll be with Christ and glorified with Him. So this isn't anything that just, you know, you're a Christian 15 years, and then all of a sudden it's like, oh, I don't have any of these temptations. This is, heaven's not on earth. Right. Right? And so you're going to have the temptations as long as you're here. Right? Is that, I mean. 100%. And temptation is tempting. So you're. Hopefully you got some victories and hopefully, you know, there's some things for whatever reason that may always be tempting, but there's other things where you completely see maturity and growth in that you move beyond. This is one of the greatest descriptions. Dr. John MacArthur passed away last year and a faithful Bible teacher for, I don't know, five decades or something. and he said, the older you get in Christ, and you're serious about this, he says two things happen. You will sin less and you will feel worse. And it's so true. Like I've said this before. I don't know if I've said it in here, but dude, when I was in high school, if I was just celibate and sober for seven days in a row, I thought I might be up for sainthood. And if these days, I mean, if I don't, if I'm short with Gretchen, I'm so, I'm like, what is wrong with you, dude? You're the worst. Like I'm deeply convicted, you know? And so that's a part though, it's actually God's goodness in your life, man. That conviction is like a warm invitation to come to the father because you need him. What's the verse? I wrote it down. I just can't. Oh, okay. Proverbs 24, 16, the righteous fall seven times and rises again. Yeah, that's it. Right? I mean, I still have all the same temptations. I just have a better toolbox to deal with them. That's a great way to say it. Yeah. That's a great way to say it. And you got to take those things very seriously. Coach Lee used to tell me all the time, boy, if you don't want to fall down, don't walk in slippery places. So I know what the slippery places are in my life. I also know based on who I was and how he used to get me based on where I am right now husband of Gretchen father of JP and Reagan pastor of this church and based on my future hopes and dreams how am I going to conduct my life with that kind of responsibility so there's some things in in people's life and it's not in and of itself necessarily sin it's just stupid because every time you walk down that road, you fall down. So quit walking down that road, man. Well, what's funny, the second part of that, verse 17, I wrote this down because the righteous life thing is, do not gloat when your enemy falls, when he stumbles, do not let your heart rejoice. I wrote that in that righteous question, but as I'm hearing you say this, like, when I truly gave my life completely to God, well, I mean, I would say it's completely, there's still some areas I need to be a lot better in, but you know what I mean? I understand. I surrender. That was the first thing that I think I caught myself in was didn't even realize that like, you know, people I didn't even know that were, I'm going to kind of air quote competition, like, no, man, I hope they fail. And, you know, you put it in the political arena or whatever. There's people listen to this that half your life you're hoping somebody fails, hoping somebody stumbles. That was the first thing that went away from me. The very first thing that went away from me. And I didn't even realize it at the time. Yep. But guys that I used to think, you know, I'm competing with have become really good friends of mine. We've had amazing conversations. They listen to this podcast. Yeah, comparison is the thief of joy, man. Yeah, yeah. So in Matthew chapter 9, Jesus goes up to Matthew. His name was Levi at that point, and he was a tax collector, which would have been the worst. I don't have time to fully explain. Jesus walks up and says, seize him and calls to him and says, follow me. The very next thing that happens is he's having dinner at Matthew's house with tax collectors and sinners. And then the Pharisees, the religious do-gooders, these are people that, like, try to run the HOA of the kingdom of heaven. They walk around with a clipboard to point out what everybody's doing wrong. And he goes, what's wrong with you? Why are you eating with these people? Well, the moment that they think that they are better than these people, Jesus is like, you've missed it, dude. I'm a physician. The physician comes for the sick, not the well. And then he says this. He quotes the Old Testament. He goes, I'm looking for mercy and not sacrifice. Go think about that. Here's what this means. When you would make sacrifices at the temple, it was public. Everybody saw it. And the Pharisees think, you know what I've given up to be a godly person? I've been doing this a long time. And now these people, you're giving attention to these people. When you were a sinner saved by grace, you look at these people and you just think, oh, but by the grace of God, there go I. You know? Yep. It is impossible to simultaneously look down your nose at other people and fix your eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith. And that's when you, this is why he starts his entire teaching ministry with blessed are the poor in spirit. Blessed are you when you realize you're spiritually bankrupt and you need a Savior. Because what you need to follow Jesus is need. Like, if you don't know you're lost, a map is no good. If you don't know you're dying, a lifesaver is no good. If you think you can be good enough to earn righteousness, then you are by definition self-righteous. But when you realize, I ain't got this, then you don't sit in that kind of judgment seat and look down your nose at other people what you offer them is mercy you're like i hope god opens their eyes and they can discover what i discovered that god would never give up on you because there's more grace in jesus than sin in you that's mercy how much how much would this world change if people just did that oh lord yeah it would fix like most of the things i mean it has one thing to shut down because they well that's the problem right yeah that's the problem i mean it's it's one thing to disagree with somebody is another thing to wish death on them to wish you know failure on them all that that stuff gets in you oh and and it just becomes who you are and it becomes unbearable in some cases and especially the algorithm fed to us is to divide us so it's us versus them yeah you're Just because you're seeing it on social media doesn't mean you're right. It just means they figured out what you believe. Correct. It gets more clicks. Yes. So you realize when there is a pick whatever the topic is, some event happens, okay, whatever the latest thing is. By the time it comes out, there's going to be 10 of these between now and then. The quote-unquote news that I receive and the quote-unquote news that the person on the other side of the aisle receives from me is not even the same news. We're not even all watching Dan Rather report it anymore and making a decision for ourselves. That's right. We're just being fed something that leads us down a path. That is the work of the enemy. In an industry that is very profitable for you to keep watching. 100%. They're going to keep feeding. Well, this has been good. This has been good. Kanban this week, man. Fired up. Best week of the year for us. Have fun, bro. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I've always found the Kanban. You need to go with this one year. I know it's busy, but I've always found the combine to be interesting because, you know, you're really talking about, I don't know how many people go, 300 maybe? And the biggest job interview for the highest paying job that you could imagine. All in one city, all competing and along these lines, like one of the coolest things. And I know sports people hate when they see like their team lose and they're shaking hands with the other team and laughing. but you see that in this and you see you see it's almost like a these guys have such a high level of respect for what they all do and the risk that they all put and how hard they have to work to get there that one of my favorite parts of the combine is man you just see you see cats that are in competition pulling for each other um you see advice being given you see ideas being shared between you know players or trainers or gms or coaches and it's just a it's spring break for coaches is what it is. It's just in Indianapolis, unfortunately. Nothing against Indianapolis. I do love it. It's just going to be 25 degrees. But it is a good picture of a bunch of dudes doing what they love and helping each other out. Yeah. It's just a little different than what we do here. And there's a lot of freedom. A little bit more alcohol and choice words. Yeah, I'm sure. There's a lot of freedom there. Not the alcohol and choice words. But there's a lot of freedom in the hoping the best for your brother. Yes. Yep. Because this is not a zero-sum game. It's not at your expense. That's right. That's right. Well, that's hard to wrap your head around, right? But you're right. You're right, 100%. You just can only take care of what you can take care of. That's right, man. Yep. It's a lot more fun when you start pulling for people. Oh, the way I've watched football, it's not even the same anymore. Yeah. Yeah, right? Right. And take it away from the football context. I don't have to know you, but I'm pulling for you. Like, I mean, what your success is not going to hurt my success. Right. And if it, and if it does, then maybe I'm not doing what I'm supposed to be doing anyway. But life is a lot more fun that way, man. I spent a lot of years the other way. I spent this, the reason why I stopped coaching teams is because if I lost, dude, I was, Angie, Angie used to tell me like, if you lose, please don't come back home until Monday. You know what I mean? and then that that switch for me was one of the best switches man of I'm still competitive I am way too competitive still have to tone it down but I genuinely do hope everybody succeeds and it's made just everything that much better for sure so always look forward to going to combine for that reason for those of you that are watching when you watch the combine man it is it is a really cool experience for a bunch of dudes who had a dream 20 something years ago and now they're all in one place trying to get it whatever it takes. They're trying to get it. So it's cool. Cool, cool, cool. Appreciate you guys listening at BillForMorePod on all of the socials. We appreciate the support. Continue to share. Denny Thompson, Pastor Joby Martin. We will talk to you soon.