The Lie Women Have Been Told About Biblical Womenhood!

At AJ Bell, we believe investing is for everyone. And when we say everyone, we mean your dad, Dan, Danielle, Dean, Dave, Del, Del's delivery driver, Denise, Denise's dentist, Dinesh and Devon's strongest man, Donathan. Donathan. Donathan, that can't be right. Donathan. Well, whatever your name is, if you're a real person, investing is for you too. AJ Bell, feel good investing. The value of your investments can go up or down. There is a misunderstanding happening right now in our culture. We see it. Right? We see it all day long. Two extremes. One side tells women to stay quiet. Sit in a corner. Don't say anything until you're talked to. Submit and don't you dare rock that boat. And the other side tells women to harden, protect yourself, stop trusting men altogether. They're all the same and they're going to get you. But biblical womanhood has never been either of those things. It's not silence. It is not hardness. It is strength with wisdom, softness with boundaries, truth spoken without contempt, without scorn. And today we're talking about what it looks like inside a healthy marriage. Because repair only works when both hearts stay engaged. Get comfortable because this is a conversation you can afford to miss. Get yourself, get yourself. Uh, no. Ooh, that's better, right, Beth? Yeah. Yeah. She founded an architectural concrete company. He founded a hundred million dollar clothing company. She took the world by storm as a social media star. He took the world by storm as a famous serial entrepreneur. Together we started a business. And had babies. Now we're figuring out the best ways to do both. Join us as we learn from other entrepreneurs going through the same life struggle. As they share their life hacks about success, love, kids. And everything in between. Hello, my friend, and welcome back to Becoming Unshakable. The Legacy Conversations bonus series, a special edition of the Entrepreneur Parents podcast, a community of strong families building unshakable legacies. I'm your host, Eadiko Ferenzi, and I am so grateful to be back with you guys. And I just want to take a moment and thank you for all the messages and emails. I read them all and I am so proud of you guys for putting in the work. I know it's not easy, but I see you. And I can relate to many of your stories. And it is so beautiful to see you guys share and to pour into your, your lives, the way that you're doing over the last few episodes. We've talked about peace, protecting peace, learning repair, accountability, and what real repair sounds like in the moment. Today, we're talking about something that is often deeply misunderstood, biblical womanhood. It's not silence and it's, it's not shrinking, but it's this kind of strength that protects the marriage while still honoring truth. And let's start here. A biblical woman, she is not passive. She is not voiceless. And she's not expected to carry pain silently. And she is not responsible for, for fixing the entire relationship alone. Or, or being the one who introduces repair every time something breaks. A biblical woman is courage. Okay. It is courage. And remember, courage is not easy. The courage to speak truth with gentleness. We have to be so careful how we speak the truth. Right. We can be abrasive. That's not going to help anything. We need to come across, we need to bring truth with love, right? With great connection. The courage, the courage to stay soft without becoming naive. The courage to pursue repair. Right. We need to pursue repair without, without losing self-respect. Right. To come at it in a way where it honors ourselves and it honors the relationship. And sometimes the courage to call your husband up and out. Because you see the greatness God placed inside of him. And I hope that he has the courage to call us or your wife, the wives out, that our husbands have the courage to call out our wives so that they can be in their greatness. Right. That's so important. Now the question is, so why do women sometimes harden? Many women did not become guarded overnight. They became guarded through repetition. Right. Through having our hearts broken again and again. Or it looks like unrepaired conflicts, dismissed feelings. That does not feel good. Broken promises. Again, it doesn't feel good. Harsh words during an argument. And it doesn't just have to be harsh words. It could be slamming doors, punching things, slamming the fists on the counter. That's a language. That's a language that tells us that we're not safe. That what we're saying is not important to be quiet. And over time, the heart begins to protect itself. And from a psychological standpoint, this makes sense. It really does make sense. The nervous system protects against repeated emotional injury. So a woman may start to appear distant or emotionally shut down. But when she tries to have a hard conversation, these things happen. So when she shuts down and what happened was not indifference. It's not her being, what is it called? What is it called? Oh, what is the word? What is the word I'm looking for? Relentlessly disobedient. It's protection. It's protection. She just doesn't want to go to that place anymore. In many women, they've tried having the conversations. They explained what hurt. They asked for change. Sometimes they even begged for change. Until eventually something inside them said, maybe it doesn't even matter. So why keep trying? Why keep going through this painful repetition of trying and begging? I'm not trying to be rebellious, but that's the way he sees me. Like I'm nagging, like I'm causing problems. I'm just trying to fix this thing. That I need, I need him to want to fix it too. And after a while that becomes emotional exhaustion. Listen, biblical womanhood is courageous. It is courageous. It's not silent. It's courageous. Scripture does not call women to silence. Of course there's times of silence, right? Where we can sit in our silence. It doesn't mean that we're talking all the time. We're not talking over anyone. There's times to listen. There's times to express. But the Bible, Biblically, women are called to wisdom. To speak truth. But to speak it without contempt. Okay. Remember, remember how to communicate ourselves. Strength expressed without humiliation or tearing the other person down. That's important. We have to be mindful of that. A biblical woman does not manipulate. No. She does not weaponize her emotions. Okay. When a hard conversation comes up. Perhaps there are some women that get very emotional. But don't use, how do I say this? Don't use it as, oh, I'm going to pull into emotion so that we don't talk about the conversation. I'm going to start crying. And then that way we don't have to talk about it. No. That's, no. That's an excuse. Okay. That's an excuse. Because we both need to do the work. Okay. And escape comes in many different ways. Sometimes women will use their emotion and then men will leave. Right. Both hurts each side. And, and she does not bury the truth. She does not bury the truth just to keep temporary peace. Right. That's, that's when, when we bury the truth, that is not going to create peace. It's not going to create, it's going to, it's going to create silence, but it's not going to create the piece that we're looking for. It's actually going to create quiet resentment. It's going to create resentment. So instead, as the wives, as women, we need to speak honestly. Right. In a way where hopefully our husband can be open to it to speak honestly. We invite repair and we honor the covenant. And, and what else does it look, look like? What else does it look like? She calls her husband to greatness when the world around him may settle for less. They may pat him on the back, say, that's good enough. You know, why try so hard? What, why go the extra mile? You're doing good enough. A wife often sees the gifts and the calling on her husband before anyone else does. This is our responsibility to call our husbands up, to call them out, because we are the ones that see the potential. Can you imagine seeing all that potential and greatness in our husbands and not say a word? Because we may offend him and then we get to heaven and God tells you the plans that he had for the leader of the house and you never called them out. You never said, Hey, hey, come on. This is what I see in you. That would be a terrible moment. I'm telling you. So we see the leadership. We see the leadership. We see the purpose, the calling on his life. And sometimes, and sometimes she can also see when that potential is being quietly diluted, pulled out of him, wasted. Listen, the people around us shape the direction of our lives. We are the sum of the people we hang out with, right? What do they say the five people you hang out with? That's who you will become. So be so careful. Be so careful. So why's wife may lovingly say these friendships don't align with the life we're building, babe? Because a marriage that is striving for faith, integrity and family leadership cannot be surrounded by voices that normalize cheating. Mediocrity, selfishness or irresponsibility. If we're building a covenant life, the influences around us should support that direction. Who are we hanging out with? Are they single? Are they respecting their marriage? Do they have a marriage? We have to surround ourselves with people that are like us, that have the same vision, that are better than us, that are better than us. I grew up with my mother telling me this, you have to surround yourself with people that are better than you. Never have an ego so big that you want to be the smartest person in the circle, to be the smartest person in the room. That's not going to get you where you want to be in life. You're not going to fulfill your God given destiny that way. And it works both ways, friends. Just as a wife may lovingly call her husband upward, a husband also has the responsibility to protect the environment of the marriage. He could lovingly say these friendships are not helping our family grow, darling. Step back, look around. Look around. Right? Most of your girlfriends are single or they're fighting a lot in their relationship. There's so much disrespect there. They're not faithful, whatever it is. We need to have our husbands call us out. And it's not from control, but it's from protection. Because a husband is also called to guard the unity of the home. We're called to guard the unity of the home. He's called to guard the unity of the home. And in a healthy marriage, that vision goes both ways. Because just as she can see the blessing in him, the blessings, let's say the blessings, because we're together for a lifelong journey here. It's not just one blessings, it's many. So we can see those blessings in him. A godly husband also helps guide his wife into her fullness, her gifts, her calling, her purpose. We all have a special, beautiful purpose in our lives. We were fearfully and wonderfully made. Say it every morning in the mirror. We all have a purpose and our spouse can see that if they are godly, they'll be able to see it. And help us on that journey. Imagine what happens when both people stop competing, stop competing, who's right, I'm better, you're better, or he's better, she's better, whatever. The whole competition thing, throw it out the window and start building together. What would it look like if you start building together? From day one of this podcast, that's what we've been talking about. And of course, the enemy will try to pull you guys apart, send people into your lives to pull you away from your God-given destiny, to not see the vision together. But imagine if you saw the vision together and you started building together. That is when marriages begin to flourish. And at the center, and at the center of that kind of partnership, is mutual humility. Mutual humility. What does that actually mean? It means neither person is fighting to be right. Both are fighting to protect the relationship, the holy covenant. It means being willing to say, I handled that wrong. I handled that so wrong. I am so sorry I said that. I am so sorry, I forgot your birthday or anniversary or I talked to you that way. Or I am willing to spend the next 40 days, or 40, we're talking about this in the community. I am willing to spend the next 40 years of my life to make it up to you. And not just say the nice, pretty words, but do it. Show the action. Show that you're actually working to make a difference, to change. Right? Both sides are fighting to protect the relationship. It means listening before defending. It means apologize. Apologize. But how? Apologizing without excuses. It means carrying more, well, not always more than the other person, but showing that you're willing to carry the load when the other person is down. And then carry the load together when both of you are up. Sometimes one of us is going to, especially after postpartum, after the baby, we're going to be weaker. I didn't want to ever admit, I pushed myself so hard after the baby. This is so relatable in our community because we don't want to seem like we're weak, we're weak, or we're struggling. So we put the mask on and we push so hard that sometimes, sometimes we wear ourselves out. We want to look like, oh yeah, we just had the baby and I'm carrying all and I'm back at it. Look at me. We physically can make ourselves sick. So sometimes that means one of us carrying the load, right? And it means carrying more about us than about winning the moment. Us as a team, not us as ourselves, carrying more about the Holy Covenant, the marriage, our relationship than about winning the moment and being right. Mutual humility is when two people choose the marriage over the ego. And that is where real unity begins. And once that kind of humility starts to take root in a marriage, something powerful begins to happen. The atmosphere in the relationship changes, walls begin to lower, and both people start showing up differently. So let's talk about something that often gets misunderstood. Before you reach for that coffee, consider this. What if the energy boost you're looking for isn't in your cup but in yourselves? I challenge you to swap your morning coffee for Sheila Jeet by Symbiotica. And here's what can happen. No crash, no jitters, just clean, sustained energy, plus mental clarity and trace minerals that our bodies actually need, that are actually starving for, to be honest. This isn't just a supplement. It's an ancient adaptogen sourced from the Himalayas that supports myocondrial function, stamina and overall vitality. Your coffee never did that. Okay, let's just be honest. Try it for a week and tell me your body doesn't thank you. Symbiotica's Sheila Jeet is next level wellness. And honestly, you may never go back to drinking coffee. Click the link below down in the bio and get your Sheila Jeet today. Let's talk about when a woman stays soft. Softness is not weakness. Softness is controlled strength. It is emotional discipline. Sometimes women even develop extraordinary self control in relationships where emotions escalate quickly. They learn to regulate themselves because if they become emotional while their partner is healing, right, and going through these things, their partner can spiral further. Now this, and I just, I want to make this so clear that this is not the long-term design for a healthy marriage. Which I know that there is, as I mentioned, when the husband is healing and he's going through his own trauma from childhood or, or moving through his emotions and trying to understand them. And definitely you need a therapist and someone to work with you because this is not something a woman that a woman should be carrying. But sometimes she becomes so resilient that she's able to read the room. And as I said, this is not for long-term design or, or even a healthy marriage. But many women do develop remarkable strength while navigating those dynamics. But softness, softness, let's pull it back and go back to softness. Softness looks like choosing conversation instead of contempt, choosing truth instead of silent resentment, right, the conversation that may be hard, but it has to be had, choosing repair instead of emotional withdrawal, right. And when a woman stays soft while a man learns accountability, something beautiful begins to happen, right. Something really beautiful happens when you're both putting in the work, trust slowly returns and with trust connection returns. And what men need to understand because many men misinterpret, misinterpret a woman's withdrawal, right. They, they assume that when women withdraw, when they pull back, they assume that she's lost attraction. But often what happens is she's lost emotional safety. And that's, that's something we've been talking about through this whole thing, thing that we talk about in the community, right. You need to be safe. She needs to be able to lay herself into you and to feel emotionally safe. It doesn't matter the conversation. It doesn't matter what she comes to you with. This is something that she wants to fix, something that's bothering her. And as women, as our wives, they should be able to feel emotionally safe. With you. And when that emotional safety returns, so does warmth, so does affection, so does desire, but safety must always come first. Unless in biblical womanhood is not about shrinking. It's about stewarding the heart wisely. Right. Stewarding the heart wisely. It is, it is the strength to stay engaged when truth is spoken. I hope that we can both, I hope that couples can both stay engaged when truth is spoken. The strength to forgive. Right. The strength to forgive while boundaries remain clear. And the strength to build a marriage that reflects something bigger than just, than ego. There's no better word for it. So having said all that, take a moment to sit with these questions, grab your journal, just take a few quiet moments to sit with these. And again, as always, just be really honest, just let it spill onto the paper. Don't judge it. Just write what comes, write what comes to mind, what comes to your, your heart. When have I confused softness, softness with weakness? When have I confused silence with peace? What does healthy strength look like for me in my marriage? What does healthy strength look like for me in my marriage? What helps me stay open instead of shutting down? What does biblical womanhood look like to me? What does it look like to my marriage and my family? What does it look like to your legacy? And finally, where is God inviting healing in my heart? What does that look like? Let's pray over this together, our conversation that we had together. Let's come together. Close your eyes for a moment. Just take a moment and just let's come to agreement. Let's come together in prayer here. Heavenly Father, teach us how to love with wisdom. Give us women courage to speak truth without fear. Give our husbands humility to listen without defense. Help us to restore gentleness where hardness has formed. And help our marriages to reflect your grace, patience, and faithfulness. And help us as wives to become more like you in everything we do and everything we say. The way we hold space for our children, the way we hold space for our husbands, for our marriage. Just let us reflect you. We say these things, we come together. We say these things in Jesus' name. Amen. A strong marriage does not require silence. It requires boldness, courage, and love to build something great together with our spouse. It requires honest hearts. And when truth and humility meet in the same relationship, repair becomes possible. And love becomes stronger. It becomes stronger than pride. And before we close today, I want to say something directly to you. If you're doing the work in your marriage, seeking wisdom, learning repair, choosing humility, I want you to know something. I am so proud of you. The effort you are putting in right now matters more than you realize. You are not just strengthening your marriage. You are shaping the future of your family. In that kind of work, my friends, is remarkable. I'm so proud of you guys. And if this episode spoke to your heart, share it with someone who may need encouragement today. And if this message helped you, please take a moment and leave a kind review. Five golden stars, as Daniel would say. And don't forget to subscribe so you never miss an episode. Is it doing all that? It really helps these conversations reach families who are trying to build something, something stronger, something that truly matters. And listen, if you're not listening to the Entrepreneur Kids Legacy show with your family, you need to be. Okay, it is so, you'll see, just go listen. And you'll know what we're talking about here. It is just such a great little show for the whole family to listen together. And the children, they've been working so hard, bringing incredible episodes and lessons to your family. And if you'd like to help support the show with your family, you can at buymeacoffee.com backslash, Entrepreneur Kids. The links are always in the note section on the platform that you're listening to or that you're listening on today. Every special gift helps produce more episodes for great young leaders all around the world. So thank you in advance from the little ones. They're so grateful for every little gift. It really just helps them understand that the work that they're doing is truly special. There's no other way to say it. Listen, my friends, strength is not here. Hardness. Strength is not that, hardness, I am strong. Right? Strength is humility with courage. Strength is humility with courage. And it is a beautiful thing that will do beautiful things to our marriage and our lives and our families. This is becoming unshakable. God bless you. We love you. Glory to God always. I will see you here real soon. God bless you. Thank you beautiful friends for listening to this important message from mama. There is someone you love and care about. Oh, and we'd love to personally invite you to listen to our podcast. It's for young future leaders ready to change the world and be a light in the dark. Listen together as a family. It's called the optional kids legacy show. We know you'll love it. Be bold. Be kind. Build an unforgettable family legacy. God bless you. We love you. And parents, if no one told you yet, let us be the first. You're doing a remarkable job. And remember, you are the hero of your story because every legacy begins with a hero. And that hero is you. This podcast is for inspirational and educational purposes only. And it is not intended to replace professional advice, legal advice, diagnosis, or treatment. The views expressed are based on personal experience and faith based insight and are meant to encourage reflection and growth. Always seek the guidance of qualified professionals regarding any questions or concerns you may have about your health, relationships, or business.