Turning Point Twinks

Ready to launch your business? Get started with the commerce platform made for entrepreneurs. Shopify is specially designed to help you start, run, and grow your business with easy customizable themes that let you build your brand, marketing tools that get your products out there, integrated shipping solutions that actually save you time, from startups to scale-ups, online, in-person, and on-the-go. Shopify is made for entrepreneurs like you. Sign up for your $1 a month trial at Shopify.com. So we're supposed to start the podcast. Ready? One, two, three. Patriots, Gatriots, Thaetriots, Black Triads, Brown Triads, we love you, and all of the fascist triple Trumpers can do what pumps. You did the double bar. Welcome to America's Top DEI podcast, where we kick ass and take names every day, seven days a week, 24, 7, 365. So what have you had it with? Okay, what I've had it with, and I think this just proves that I am nothing but a cranky old fart, I have had it with self-checkout until I only have three items, and then I have to wait in line, so then I've had it that they don't have self-checkout. So what I've decided is I can't be happy. I don't want to be happy. I want a bitch that there's no self-checkout, and then I want a bitch that there's only self-checkout. I relate to this. There are so many things that I have absolutely had it with, and then when they're not available to me, I'm irritated at that. I think that's incredibly relatable. I would imagine that you're not very good at self-checkout. Okay, I have to say I am not very good at self-checkout, and it has given me a huge respect for grocers that do that all day, because finding the deal and doing all that, it's just harder than I thought it would be. Yeah, I imagined. I come as a prize to no one. I'm great at self-checkout. I shine, I thrive, I'm ready, I'm efficient. It's kind of like I approach self-checkout the same way I do TSA. When I go through TSA, I want all of the TSA agents to be in awe, like, wow, she was ready. She had everything out and ready. She went through what a great passenger she is. Likewise, I think about the feelings and the observational view of the checker-outters behind me, the customers behind me. They were like, God, this old lady, this Jen extra, she's gonna take forever. And I'm like, hold my beer. Blue, blue, blue, blue, blue, blue. Out the door. Look how good I am. And I got my dogs with me half the time too, and they just sit and they watch, and that's of great support, as you can imagine. All right, so let me tell you what I've had it with. This has to do with my husband, Josh, and he doesn't really listen to this podcast. He just finds out from other people what I say about him on it. Yeah. So when he was in New York last week, we work out together. And it's fun to do, to go work out together. The problem is I like to work out without taking a break. Like if I do a bicep curl and then a squat and then a sit-up, and I'm gonna do all of those things in rotation, I don't take a break in between each one. And he likes to lollygag and have a sip of water and all of these things, right? Which, okay, whatever, I'm a little bit more fit than he is. I mean, what else? Right, so the last, I went at his pace Monday through Thursday that he was in New York last week. I went, we were team, we were in unison. He did a curl, I was doing curls. If I finished before him, I paused, I waited. By Friday, I had fucking had it. Yeah. And I was like, it's game on. So I went and our trainer's name is Emily. And I was like, okay, Emily, what's the next exercise? And I have laughed him now. I'm like so far ahead of him in the exercise. I can feel the Titty baby exuding from his body, right? I can feel it. And I know, I've made a calculation. I know that later on today, I'm gonna hear like, we were supposed to work out together. And I knew, and I thought, you know what, I'm gonna take that because I want my heart rate to get up and I want my heart rate to stay up. And I'll just, I'll deal with the aftermath at a later date. So I finished the workout much faster than he does. And I go to the rowing machine and just crank out about 700 meters, just until he finishes. Oh, you were that far ahead. Oh, way ahead. It's not even, not even close. Okay. So we leave and as we walk home, it starts. He said, you know, we were supposed to like work out together and I go, oh, here we go. Here we go. I knew this was coming. And he goes, I said, I'm just, I don't like to take a break. I like to get a cardio exercise. And if we're just working out for an hour, I can rest before I can rest after I don't want to rest during I want, I like to be an efficient person. And he said, well, he said, well, I'm lifting much heavier weights than you are. And I'm, I'm really, you know, like he basically, he's telling me he's stronger and he's a better exerciser than I am that I'm just blazing through it. And that's not the case. Yes. He is stronger. He is stronger. There's no question. He's a male, he's six foot four, et cetera. Actually six foot three. Last year he upgraded his height to six foot four, the total fraud on his, all of his identifications at 56 years old. He upgraded his height and that's something we'll leave to our psychoanalyst to discuss it a much later date because enough. But, um, of course he is stronger, but I wasn't like going fast with each exercise. I was, you know, up one to down. I was doing all of that just without breaking and lollygagging and drinking water, which everybody knows how much I pose performative hydration, even at the gym. Even if you need it. So he got so smoked out and then the remainder of the day, it was hilarious and Josh can laugh at himself. So I mean, he's like performatively upset for the listener. It's not like this is real, but he was like, I mean, I just thought we were supposed to go in there together. Like we were supposed to do it together. So I've kind of had it with him slowing me down at the gym and then just a follow up here on some gym stuff that I want to report back. My grievance from a month or two ago about people that like maybe they're on the, um, a machine, some sort of machine that you want to use. Let's say the leg press and they're going to do three sets and they break and don't do another exercise like I do. Like I'm going to do a leg press that I'm going to do something else, something else. Listening to that. This individual random gym attender is going to do the leg press and then they're going to hold and stay on the leg press for their break and then do another set and another set. I don't have a problem if you want to hold and stay. What I have a problem with is during your hold and stay, you want to get on Instagram and then you're, yeah, these people are on Instagram. Bo-guarding the machines and the next thing you know, like all of us, you're like, oh, that's an interesting hashtag. And the next thing you know, 750 weeks ago, Shirley Q from Dayton, Ohio did X, Y, Z and you're down some rabbit hole, which is fine. I'm totally fine with being a psycho on Instagram. What I'm not fine with is public psychotic Instagram use while other people are waiting to use your machine. So I think that people, I think social media should be banned in gyms. I agree. I think phones in all forms should be banned in gyms. I understand. Nobody's so important that they need to take a phone call during the gym. Like, I mean, maybe just like, hey, can you pick this up? Okay, bye. But not like how are you, what's your mother in law? Nothing like that. Here's my thing. Josh is a pidler. He just, he's just kind of, he can lollygag around and he can kind of get off on tangents, which I can kind of do too. And you're a push through, get it done, like hyper focused. Like a machine. But here's the deal on Josh. He, I mean, honestly, for him to say, I thought we were doing that together. I know he's laughing about it and it's funny because he doesn't really care that much. But can you imagine if you were married to someone that was legitimate about that? Like that, my whole skin crawled when you were talking about that. Because I know Josh was giving you shit. But I cannot, I know, I have people that I know that like, if they watch a show together and then the other person watches an episode without them, it's like a breakdown of epic proportions. Which I believe that Kylie and Anna do this. Welcome to, I've had it Kylie. Do you and Anna have this situation with shows? We do. I think this would be ubiquitous with lesbians. High charged emotional stuff. Yeah. And I'm a very serious TV watcher. Yeah. Right. Anna, you know, pretty ADHD, TV is not like, she's just not laser focused on it. I'm the annoying one that's like watching her watch the show to make sure she's paying attention. I hate that. So I've just started blazing through and I think she's kind of given up on. I want to talk to y'all about something. This is something interesting that we need to discuss with the lesbians. So if you have friends that are a lesbian couple and your friends with one over the other, but you like the other person's wife a lot and you're going to do some sort of girl dinner, oftentimes you might think, I want to invite my main friend, but not the wife. Well, that seems really exclusionary. You know, that doesn't seem right, but nobody else is bringing their husband. Right. So this is a tricky situation in lesbian culture and Kiley, I'd like for you to weigh in on this because I've experienced this back in Oklahoma City. We have, you know, a lot of my pickleball friends are lesbians and this is something that we've talked about. So how do you navigate this? You've just nailed like a real issue. It's real because the lines are so blurred with it being girls. Right. Anna and I have, we purposely work on this like she has to go have time with her friends. It's completely separate because I wouldn't want my friend to bring her boyfriend who I don't like. So like, but it is tricky like a couple of friends, especially in lesbians, it's, it's for some or pretty much bust. Someone's feelings are going to get hurt. Couldn't the rule just be if you, if you're not inviting the husbands, the girlfriend doesn't count the wife as a girl. Then what do you do? What do you do? You say, okay, here's the deal. It's no husband's no, no. We're inviting Anna because she's a little bit more feminine than you are Kiley. So that's our decision making. Well, that seems discriminatory. Right. Well, but if you're Kiley's friends. We're only inviting the lipstick, Lezzie, which Kiley, I'm not saying you're not a lipstick, Lezzie, because clearly you're drop dead. Gorge. I do have a tie on though today. You do. Perfect for your. For my argument. Yeah. So how do you determine that? Which lesbian gets excluded? I'm telling you guys, this is a real pickle that people are not talking about at all. I think there's a lot of pickles in lesbian relationships. I do too. They get fucking blurred because it's two girls like you're, you're really tapping into some. That's before we even get to the Subaru's and the U-Hauls. Exactly. You know, there's a girl at my dog school that has a Subaru and she, I mean, I try to be patient with her. Just she lesbian. I don't, I don't know if she's a lesbian or just directionally challenged. Like for whatever reason, we're following each other into dog school. It's like she doesn't know where to turn in. I'm like, it's a fucking driveway. It's not that hard, but every day we have to go, I mean, just like, so now I have my eye on her. I don't think she's a lesbian because they're not directionally challenged. I would agree with that. I'm a drunk way. You've been there before, lady. Come on. Interesting car choice for a heterosexual woman though. Just leave that there. I have a friend that drives the Subaru. She loves it. She's not a lesbian. Really? Are you sure? Are you sure about that? Yeah. You know, this midlife lesbian thing is really taken off. It's huge. Yeah. It's a big thing. It's a really, really big thing. Even in Oklahoma. I mean, big thing. I think especially in the Bible Belt, I think that's where it's at least on the download for sure. Yeah. That mountain. That's why the Hunting Wives is so popular. All the churches are doing scissors. Bible study, scissor. We're going to go from two Corinthians and then break out into a jackrabbit scissor. If it was pumps and her friends, you know, they'd have to bring toys. You guys. So ever since I did the gossiping about the characters at my gym, about the jackrabbit in particular, so I forget that the podcast has grown this much, right? And so, because I always just think it's us and the listener, right? Because that's what it's always been. And we're so incompetent and such morons. Every single day since I, in detail, described the jackrabbit, he's been there. He's always at the same spot where I am. And I'm always like to Emily, I'm like, oh my God, there's the jackrabbit. I talked about him on the pod. And he's over there just jackrabbitting, you know? And he's just, I mean, he's just going, he does these jackrabbit exercises like this. It's bananas. But I think like, does he know? Does he know? I haven't seen the handstand guy. That's what I was going to ask you. I've not seen him. I've not seen him. And I really quite enjoyed watching him exercise. How do you think that? Jackrabbit's really kind of disturbing. It disturbs me. Do you think it's like a mating call? I don't remember. It's what it seems like. It seems like you keep talking. What's the guy's name? The British National Geographic. You know, the guy, the famous. And Richard Ansoncroft. How do you two producers don't know? And what's Ash, no. Like he's British. What's his first name? Do you know Richard? Do National Geographic British guy? Richard Attenborough. That's it. Richard Attenborough. Come on, who pulls through in the clutch? Dimension Mama pumps. That's right. Okay. So a picture like it's so perfect that if Richard Attenborough was like, this is what we call the jackrabbit exercise. But it does sound, I mean, and he does this like, he's like in a side plank in his arms up and he just, I mean, it's like, it's double time. One and two and three and four and five and six and seven and eight. It really is. I tried to do it and I was like, it's really kind of hard. I tried to do it at home. I didn't try to do it at the gym. But I was just like, what is there to that? I was bored and the dogs were just staring at me like, oh my God. It was, I tell you what though, I've got to quit talking about people on the potty hat. He's through every day. That then I'm going to run into. Because if he comes out to me and he's like, are you talking about me at the gym? I'm like, what are you talking about? Do you call me the jackrabbit? Oh God, no, it's not you. It's the other jackrabbit. Which there is no other one because his exercising is so insane. We all talk about it. How about the lack of self-awareness if the jackrabbit's looking around the gym wondering who the jackrabbit is? Yeah. All right, Kylie, do we have any, what are people saying about us on the worldwide any responses from the jackrabbit? No, not from the jackrabbit yet. I will keep an eye out. Such a moron. I'll tell them to personally. Next time I do that shit, you're going to have to cut it out, edit it out. We do it a lot. I know it's really bad. All right. Okay. This is, I went to Spotify and took a look at the comments on there. And Lioness R. Said says petition to get Jen's research into medical journals so people stop stealing her findings. I agree. I think that's a great idea. It's unbelievable the amount of hypotheses we've had on this show. And then the science a year later, we're on the worldwide web and then somebody's launched a study. And so in our spare time, we can, we'll start a medical journal that we keep internally here like the permanent record. I think we're good. I kind of want to start our own, Kylie and I were talking about we need to start our own DNC because the DNC sucks. They won't release the autopsy. And we need to start our own Congress. Like Congress is doing a bill to condemn Hassan Piker. And I would like to do a bill to condemn Erica Kirk. And so since Congress is useless and worthless, they can just do that. So I want to just be like, hear ye, hear ye. And then I read the bill and then everybody votes. And we can go down to a park in New York City and have them vote on it. And then we just say, okay, we have an article here that we've all voted on and we've all condemned Erica Kirk. And I just want to say this. Here's just something that I want to say. I want to say that it's interesting to me that Trump talks incessantly about insane asylums and releasing the craziest of the crazy into America. And there's these insane asylums, just batshit crazy people. And then you look at his most fervent supporters. And I think she needs to be an insane asylum. And I mean that sincerely, like put that in the medical journal. Jennifer has diagnosed Erica Kirk as an advanced state of manic psychosis. That is my diagnosis. I will let the psychiatrist catch up with me, but she needs to be in psychiatric care. I mean, there's something severely wrong with her. But in MAGA's world, it's like, we're going to, it's like a mental illness parade. It really is. It's insane. The personality disorder is on parades. It's really sad, but it's a master class in why we need healthcare. And we need to fund mental illness, normalize mental illness, but not in this way. Have you seen platforming it? I've seen Laura Loomer this whole last week. Laura Loomer, who's been in insane asylums quite literally. Three times. Lost her fucking mind. Again, worse. Candice Owens. Yes. She is like, what's going on? She's trying to dox her. She's like finding arrest records of Candice's husband and he's an immigrant. And she's posting them all online and being like, and it's like, DUI? Yeah, he's like British, I think. Yeah, I don't think MAGA counts white Europeans as immigrants. She calls him an immigrant. I don't think MAGA counts white people as immigrants. They only count brown people. She posted this like mugshot and he got like some stupid arrest a while back. And she was like, Candice, good luck explaining this one. I mean, she's. Did Candice respond? Yeah, I can't. You want me to work some moves up? Yeah, they're going back and forth on the daily. They're going nuts. All right. So to recap, Candice's husband is a white European immigrant. And oh my God, these people are fantastically crazy. And he gets all liquored up and gets a DUI. And Lord Lynn was. We don't know what it is. I don't think it was as serious as the DUI. Oh, no, it's like some small thing. Bender, bender. God, I mean sugar. She's going off. Candice Owens. This was like today. Atreal Candice loves to present her marriage with George Farmer as a traditional fairy tale romance, but the actual reality of their sudden engagement is completely insane and inhumane. Inhumane. What's inhumane about it? Right around the holidays in 2018, Candice explicitly told me about how she was happily living in Philadelphia condo with her cat and a loyal boyfriend of seven years, Ryan. Yet right around the exact same time, she completely blindsided Ryan and abruptly got engaged to Farmer when she met him at a TPUSA event in the UK with Charlie Kirk. Fucking turning point. It takes a truly soulless grifter to string a man along for almost a decade, heartlessly abandoned him for a rich guy she knew for 14 days and then lied to the public to manufacture a conservative love story so she can come across as a trad Catholic. It goes on and on and on. Wait, I think I read and Ryan, Kylie, let me know. I read on the internet that Laura Loomer is accused of performing oral sex on Trump. Yes. That she's been sucking him off. Yeah. Which my God, don't you know Melania has just gratitude out the wazoo for the service she's providing. She said stick around. Has Candice mentioned that? Yes, it was something in a lawsuit. There was going back and forth. It just got dismissed. But Laura Loomer like brags about giving Trump a blow job, which I'm like, that would be my nobody would know that ever. I would deny that until they laid me in the ground. I also just I miss. Wait, hang on. Would you rather Ted Cruz or Donald Trump blow job from from from soft to completion to ejaculation to swallow? You have to pick Donald Trump or Ted Cruz pumps. Pick one. Okay. A couple of questions before I answer. Okay. I'm happy to answer. I would think that with Trump's ankles, I think he cannot. He does not have enough blood flow to get a hard dick. So I think it would go on forever and ever. So you could never. I mean, you're second to ever. You're second to have to be Ted. You haven't done a good fuck Mary kill in a long time. I know. We do. We do. No, no. No, no. Kylie, what did you find? I was just I messed up and I didn't read the best part of this tweet. This is how Laura closes out her Candace tweet. Let's be clear. There is nothing pure Christlike or Catholic about Candace Owens. She's basically she's basically a female gem Jones. Like Jones, she will lead all her followers to their own demise when they drink too much of her poisoned Kool-Aid. Oh, that's so good. So yeah, the insane asylum is rampant. It's open. It's open. Laura and Eric, it could part next to each other in the lot. Were they ever friends? It sounds like it. She says she told me. You know what? So you know what's so funny about the whole MAGA movement? Like they come together at first because it's like, oh, yeah, we get to hate on people together and it never occurs to any of them. Oh, if this person is capable of hating on all these people, I too could be the target. Like when I have a friend that's a super big gossip and always talking shit on their friends, I'm like, well, I know when I'm not around, they're talking shit on me. So I always kind of heisman arm length. I'll still be friendly, but I'm like, oh, it's probably not that great of a friend to have. That never occurs to them. And so now I love it that they're all targeting each other. It's delicious. I want to point out like this Ashley St. Claire, the baby mama of Elon Musk or whatever. All of these, I mean, I know I'm slow to the party. I get that. I just realized that all her tell all on MAGA videos are get ready with me. So she does it while she's putting her, I'm just like, what is she doing? And then I've had it with get ready with me. I don't even know if people can get them. No, here's what they do, Pabs. It's like somebody, they do it on the left and on the right in all fairness. I see liberal progressive influences that are talking about something very serious. And I'm like, hi guys, you know what? Today, the Supreme Court has gutted voting rights. And I just think this is disgraceful. And this is such an attack on the black community. I'm just like, stop putting on your fucking makeup while you're talking about something serious. But I don't know what that thing is. I don't know what I don't understand it. I'm tired of seeing people put on their makeup. It's not that unique. It's not that great to watch. Stop now. Stop putting up your on your makeup online. Stop it. I agree. This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. Listener May is Mental Health Awareness Month, a reminder that whatever you're going through, you don't have to go through it alone. For example, I get overwhelmed with the news cycle. I get overwhelmed with our filming schedule. I get overwhelmed with my children and family responsibilities and how to juggle it all. And that's why once a week, I sit down with my therapist, from BetterHelp. They have quality therapists. BetterHelp therapists work according to a strict code of conduct and are fully licensed in the US. And they have a therapist match commitment. BetterHelp does the initial matching work for you so you can focus on your therapy goals. However, if you aren't happy with your match, switch to a different therapist at any time from our tailored recs. Listener, you don't have to be on this journey alone. Find support and have someone with you in therapy. Sign up to get 10% off at betterhelp.com. That's BetterHelp. H-E-L-P.com. All right, last week, I was trying to buy a new club chair for my living room and I was searching and searching and searching. I spent like two hours finally found the perfect chair. Click it. Price outrageous. And I was like, God, this sucks. I don't know if I'm going to spend that much right now. This is why I want to introduce you guys to dupe.com. Dupe has a research for me tool. Instead of wasting an entire day, you just type in what you're looking for and within a couple of minutes, dupe does hours of trustworthy research. Seriously, you guys, dupe.com is going to save you so much time. You'll also get a full breakdown of features, specs, and pricing. In my favorite part, it actually tells you what not to buy. Which can save you from making a very expensive mistake. So, listener, be prepared to save yourself a ton of time and money. Just go to dupe.com and tell it what you're looking to buy. That's dupe.com to finally feel confident about what to buy. All right, what's the next review? All right, the next review we've got here is from Cecil. She writes, hi there, new listener here and better forward, I think. I just want to say, I don't think I realized how hijacked the concept of patriotism was for me until I listened to you two. There was no definition of patriot that I felt could belong to me. And now I'm reconsidering my relationship with the word, just hearing the way you use it. That's really interesting to think about. So thank you for that. I too have struggled with patriotism as a word. Like, I kind of get the jeeps when I go to a sporting event and I do the national, I mean, I just don't. It's been hijacked so much that I, it's hard for me to embrace it really. Like I would not buy anything red, white and blue, even for 4th of July. I wouldn't. You know, Josh, while she hates patriotism, he hates it. He cannot fucking stand it because living in Oklahoma, so many people, their identity is being a patriot. And oh, I support the troops. I support the Cherubes. I support freedom. And it's such a bullshit because Republican policies abandon the troops. Republicans are demeaning to the mental health needs and the physical needs that the troops have after they send them. They're no problem funding the bombs to make the military industrial complex billions upon billions of dollars, but they don't take care of the soldier. And so, Josh, one year we went to my friend Liz, she's a member of some, it's in Oklahoma, rural Oklahoma, and it's like a neighborhood and there's a river. And it's like a Illinois River, yeah, river club or something, right? So she invites Josh and me to go to this river club with her. And as we're before we go, she's like, now the first night we go, Jennifer, it's going to be a white party. And I got Liz that in some good. We're going to a white party in rural Oklahoma. That sounds a little KKK for my taste. She's like, how, please come on. And she's like, make sure you bring white clothes. And I was like, okay, okay. We walk up to the white party and this woman puts out a cookie tray to me. And it is a fucking black penis cookie. And I look at the cookie and I look up at Liz and I am like, are you kidding me? I told you this shit was a bad idea. White people having a white party in rural Oklahoma is not get their black cookies right here. And Liz is like crying, laughing. She can't speak. Well, what the deal was, was they were initiating a new president to the river club, okay, to this redneck river club and all the people that were really lovely. No disrespect to the river people. Y'all were great river hosts and hostesses. But I said, what's the deal? Why are you serving black cock cookies? I said, well, we're swearing in a new president and these are a gavel. And I'll get the image for you all to put up on here. And so they're serving these and I knew it was a bad idea for white people to have a white party in rural Oklahoma at a river. I called it. I was ahead of the curve on this. I walk up and the first thing somebody offers me is a black cock cookie. Unfucking believable, right? So of course I take a picture with it and let me find it for Kyle. Here we go. Here we go. Here's my friend Liz and me. Let me text this to Kylie so she can put it up on screen. Anyway, so we have a wonderful time at the river. It's fourth of July weekend or maybe it was Memorial weekend. I don't know. Some weekend that causes people to feel patriotic. So we go to this dining area at the river club. It's very informal, not fancy, but very good food, very nice. But like picnic tables, right? And everybody gets their food and then everybody stands up and the new president has a speech. And then he says, let's everybody sing God bless America. And I look over to Josh. Josh fucking hates patriotism because he thinks the people that scream about patriotism the most are the biggest fucking hypocrites on the planet. And I can't argue with that. Josh, when we go to Thunder games during the national anthem, he says, I'm going to go to the restroom because he can't stomach it. It makes him infuriates him to see that many Republican voters fake supporting the troops because it's total fake support of the troops. So I look over at Josh when they announced that we all have to sing God bless America together. And Josh goes, all right, here we go. Let's go. And then we all start in God bless America. And I mean, I'm looking at Josh through the whole thing. And I know he is just dying because he got really mad about Colin Kaepernick, the way Colin Kaepernick was treated. And he was trying to use his position to draw attention to the policing disparities for the black community, which Josh is a criminal defense lawyer and he sees it every single day up close and personally, the disparity and the apartheid policing system and justice system. But now Blackcox, white party, rural Oklahoma, there it is. Kylie, can you zoom in on that too so that they can see? There's Liz. Look at Liz. It's like, oh, shit. So you see, we all showed up to the, this is the first thing. I'm at the party for two seconds. And somebody comes up to me with a tray of Blackcock cookies to the river people. I love you. I know that you didn't mean to serve Blackcock cookies, but there it is. Tell me, that is a cock. I think it says like, congratulations, Greg, or whoever the new president is. They put it on the ball sack of the cookie. It looks just like it. But I knew it. I knew it. I told Liz, there's no way a white party in rural Oklahoma with all white people, there's something bad is going to happen. And sure enough, they're serving Blackcock cookies. Let me just talk about this. The baker that made them, I mean, I'd like to dive into the psychology there. I mean, is this a person that needs to get laid? Is this a person that's like, you know, I should have tapped some chocolate at some point in my life. You know, like it's just, it's such a penis. Yeah. If I were making him, I would say needs to get laid and that I would have taken great care in telling people they were gavels. And in my mind, like my own secret joke that it was a penis, I would have thought I was hilarious. But it objectively looks like a penis, not a gavel. Wouldn't you say, Ryan, Kylie? What do you, what do you? Definitely. I definitely see a penis. You don't see a gavel at all, right? It's a penis. As a gay man, I feel like that's a good endorsement. I agree. I mean, I, and I ate it. I ate a Blackcock cookie. What, what's direction did you eat it? I started at the tip. Yeah. Ended with the balls. Did you eat it in one? Did you put the whole thing in your mouth? Or did you bite? No, I did, I did probably three bites total, maybe four. I did, I started at the tip, then the stem, then one ball, then the other ball. Did you use both hands? I think I used one. I was a single, a single, uh, single-handed. And was it good? Did it taste good? It was delicious. It was delicious. But was it salty? Sweet. It was sweet. It was sweet. We should be canceled. Yeah. We will be. I was gonna say, this is devolved, and it's not even me this time. We should be canceled. Kylie, do we have any more of you? No. Do you want to do some news stories? Okay, yeah. I have a news story here. Story number one for the class. A straight, I'm sorry, started here. Story number one for the class. Straight Gen Z men are now appropriating gay culture. Popular looks, maxing influencers are now embracing a new trend. Pop this up. Manusphere influencers are twink, maxing, and proud of it. So looks, maxing pumps is optimizing your physical appearance to the highest potential, including skincare, hair care, fitness, grooming, posture, dental work ranges from soft, maxing, which are easy habits to more extreme measures like cosmetic surgery. And this has been popularized on TikTok and forums like Reddit. Reddit. And it can be positive self-improvement tip or obsessively dysmorphic territory. So that's looks, looks, maxing pumps. You follow me? Yeah, I didn't think you had. So now we're going to segue over to twinks, maxing. All right. And you know what a twink is, pumps, right? Yes. Would you define it for the listener? It's a gay man that's petite and is in the female role, right? Is that right? Yeah. Ish. Ish. Pretty good pumps. I'm, Ryan, does that pass this ish? Yeah. Okay. Twink, maxing is optimizing for the twink aesthetic. Slim, lean, youthful, boyish look. The common goals of twink, twink, maxing or low body fat, clear skin, slim face, defined, but not bulky physique. Focuses on staying lean, low calorie, cardio heavy, skin care and grooming. Dylan Latham, one of the popular online looks, maxers is embracing twinks, maxing. Let's pop this up. I also just want to say that you kind of describe Josh. The whole time I sit here, all of it, the looks, maxing plus the twinks, maxing. I'm like, this is, listen to this. I just had Anna text Josh to get his TSA number because we're flying, we're going on a trip together to get his TSA number and his American airline number and he sent it and then he sent his body fat to her as well. My TSA number is this. My AIA advantage number is this. My body fat is 4%. You guys, we just got- Body fat 4%. Okay. All right. Just a quick, a quick pause. That's it. Our regularly scheduled programming about twinks, maxing to update you on Josh's body fat. So when he's in town and we're at the gym together and I'm not working out together with him, immediately after the workout, he's like, Emily, do we have time to go measure my body fat? He's obsessed with it, right? And when he was in town, we hosted this GLAAD party and we went to the host of the party is a guy named Maddie and he is like the Peloton Queen B Instructor on the planet. Maddie, this party, this GLAAD party that we co-hosted was at Maddie's apartment. Maddie is a fitness instructor. He is built like a goddamn fucking six pack. I mean, just a tall, gorgeous Madonna. Totally. So we're at his house and Josh goes up to him and he's, I'm like, Josh, Maddie, Maddie, Josh, and then Josh says, Maddie, what's your body fat? No, he doesn't. He absolutely does. And Maddie says, I don't know it. And I go, yeah, Josh, most of these people don't psychotically check their body fat. And then Josh says to Maddie, what do you do? Not knowing that Maddie is like a famous fitness instructor because he has no fucking clue because he's always in the Josh Welts show, right? Right. So Maddie's like, well, I work out. He goes like, do you work out? Maddie goes all the time, all day every day. I'm like, Josh, he's a Peloton instructor and a trainer. Stop it. He's like, so you don't know your body fat? So we go to with Emily and he gets his body fat taken. This is after the GLAAD party and it's dropped some. So he gets on chat GPT. And he is so antagonistic with AI. He's so fucking antagonistic. He goes back and forth between like chat GPT is lying to me. Claude's lying to me. And he goes back and forth between chat GPT and Claude, right? We're in the car in New York and he has basically got chat GPT. And mind you, this is a unhinged hypochondriac. Chat GPT is saying to him, if you or someone you know is struggling with 4% body fat, you should immediately probably take them to the hospital. I'm in the car going, if you or someone you know, God damn it AI, God damn it. I'm not going to let my name. You know? And so then I'm like, Josh, you need to go get the people that do the pinch. You don't have 4% body fat. You need to get people that do the pinch because you've got some kind of like love handle situation right here. Why would you? I know I was being a cunt. Okay. I felt like a casual cunt. All right. Yeah. I'd own it. I own it. Shortcoming. So I'm on Instagram and Maddie has posted a picture. The aforementioned Peloton fitness instructor, he's posted a picture of himself in his closet topless and it's like a total Adonis like he's Italian, you know, and then he has like pecs in the six pack. And I go, see Josh, you're, because he claimed in the car, my body fat's lower than Maddie's. I guarantee it. And I'm like, there's no fucking way your body fat is lower than Maddie's. So I showed Josh the picture of Maddie that Maddie had posted on his story. I said, Josh, look, there's no way your body fat is lower than this man's right here. And he goes, DM him right now and asking. So I DM Maddie and this will be the second time Josh has asked Maddie what his body fat is. And so I'm like, Josh wants to know where your body fat is. And Maddie just responds, ha, ha, he's obsessed with me. So anyway, sorry, sorry, that was a bad way to get off. But I just thought that, yeah, follow up. Okay, here's the deal. So Josh asked him what his body fat was before he knew he was a Peloton instructor. Like he could have been an executive at Goldman Sachs. It gets worse from there. It gets worse from there when we were working out. We were on our own. We didn't have trainer and we were waiting on this machine, the glute abduction machine. Oh, yeah. And we're waiting on this guy's on there and he is as fit as a fiddle. I'm talking B U F F exclamation point. Gay man, hot, you know, just gay men are just to me, their fitness regimen just hits harder. The hygiene and all of it collectively, it's like, okay, this is a very well kept man. So Josh says to him as he finishes the machine and we're kind of waiting. He goes, are you look great? What's your body fat? Yeah. Ah, yes. Yeah. We never met didn't ask him his name. Asked him what his body fat was. And the guy goes, I don't know. I don't want to know. I just know, you know, when I look good or when I don't. Meanwhile, psycho Josh goes down to the body fat machine like every single day. There I see. I, when you said go get the pinch body fat, I didn't know you could do a body fat other than the pinch. So this one at our gym, you get on it. And you take your shoes off and it's like a scale and then you put your hands on these like sensors. Oh, okay. And it does some sort of calculation. So I was talking to Josh last night and it just, it doesn't end or FaceTiming. And he's like, yeah, I was just done. Claude trying to find out what type of body fat machine I can order the home version. So you can do it. And yeah, he's just randomly asking random people, what's your body fat? And then we've got chat, G.B.T. If you or somebody you know is suffering from, and I'm just like, this is just, this is untenable. This is just untenable. All right, listener, if you're like me, summer is here. I'm changing apartments. I want to take my kids on vacation. And I don't want to have to worry about whether I can afford it or not. That's why I want to introduce you to Monarch. Monarch is the personal finance app that tracks everything, accounts, investments, saving goals and spending. Get your first year of Monarch for half off just $50 with promo code, had it. Most apps only tell you what you've already spent. Monarch actually helps you set goals, map out big purchases and see if you're actually on track before it's too late to make adjustments. You can spot what you wouldn't think to look for with AI insights. Has your spending gone up or is it just inflation? Also, I love this feature. You can split the check without the headache with Monarch's bill split. Just scan the receipt. Everyone claims what they got and then settles up and no separate app is needed. Listener, use code, had it at Monarch.com to get your first year half off at just $50. That's 50% off your first year at Monarch.com with the code, had it. All right. Last minute, Panic Buyers Mother's Day is imminent. It is upon us and you cannot go get your mother a boring robe or a boring pair of slippers that she already has many of. Go buy her an aura frame. It is a great way to mix things up from the standard Mother's Day gift. It has free unlimited storage. You basically can add as many photos and videos as you want. You can preload it in case your mother's not very tech savvy. You can preload it anytime, anywhere. You can personalize your gift and add a message before it arrives. A gift box is included. You can share your photos and videos effortlessly, download the free aura app, or text photos straight to your frame. It is a top rated app, reached number one in the app store on Christmas Day in 2025. Listener, named number one by Wirecutter. You can save on the gifts mom's love by visiting auraframes.com. For a limited time, listeners can get $25 off their best selling Carver Map frame with code, had it. That's a u r a frames.com promo code, had it. Support the show by mentioning us at checkout terms and conditions apply. What a scream. We installed telephone wires across rural Britain over a century ago and you're still paying to use them for your broadband today. If it ain't broke, what? Stop. Your days of selling phone age broadband are over. Stuff spilled the beans. Upgrade to 100% full fiber. Gigaclear faster broadband for rural Britain from only 19 pounds a month. Price may rise during contract. Teas and seas apply. Check availability at gigaclear.com. Okay. The looks maxing and twinks maxing is 100% like reminiscent of Josh. Okay. So Dylan Latham on twink maxing. Here he is. Here's an excerpt from him. Responding to the host follow up questions about whether he became a twink intentionally or by accident, Latham added, I naturally am a bit more skinny. I naturally act a bit more feminine. I'm a fucking metrosexual. And they're also embracing being called gay. Let's play the clip. I just think it's really funny that gay is used as an insult because I am not insulted by it whatsoever because it's like the only insults that work are ones that have validity to them. So if you made fun of my blue hair, I literally couldn't even comprehend being offended because I don't have blue hair. So I don't understand the idea of using that as an insult. It really doesn't make sense. And I think I literally take it as a compliment. The gay dating market is a lot more competitive. So the average person when they say you look gay means that they're saying you look better than average. Okay. So Ryan proposes the question, could straight male narcissism be the tool we didn't know we needed to fight homophobia? Because here's the thing. I was just talking about all these hot gay men at my gym and it just hits different. And the dating market is more competitive and they are way more pulled together. They're dressed better. They work out harder. The grooming is better. Everything about gay man is better. So now our straight men looking to gay men saying hashtag goals and will that help us with homophobia? Well, first of all, I think straight men should strive for that. I do too. I mean, I think it's goals for sure. I mean, I want to strive to be as put together as a gay man and I'm falling woefully short. But here's the thing. You look at all these manasphere and I'll just take a couple of examples like a Joe Rogan, super tiny, short, short, short, but really muscular. So that whole look, the tiny but super muscular is an immediate red flag for me. So if I was like a male on the dating circuit, I would want to be lean and fit and well groomed and smell nice and have nice clothes and all that. I would think that would be way, I mean, as a female, I am not attracted to the super muscley because I think it just sends the whole WWE message. So and I also think, and I know you probably think this too, like Joe Rogan, I immediately think steroids. And then we know from the science what steroids do to penises. And so then it's just an immediate, yeah. You think shrinkage, you think soft serve, you think problems with rising, with erections, et cetera. And so, and yeah, the shrinkage and all of that. So you think, okay, so this guy wanted these big muscles but was willing to sacrifice his penis for that, which is an interesting thing for men because they're so penis centric. They're so coccentric, right? So it's an interesting gamble to want larger muscles at the expense of your dick. Yeah, okay, but here's the thing though. I think that these people are so obsessed with their looks because I dated somebody that did steroids and the penis shrinkage, it comes on gradually. So here's what I think happens. I think they think, I've got these great big muscles. I look so good. And then the shrinkage happens over time. It's not just like an immediate. So there for a while, you're like, I have big muscles and a big dick. And then it's like, roid rage and soft serve. Let's unpack several things here. I have just a gajillion follow up questions. We're not going to get to collars today. Because we are going to deep dive into Bumps's ex-boyfriend who used steroids. So it's been 40 years. Let me ask you this. Is this college boyfriend that used steroids, the same person that was your fitness trainer later in life that you fucked while you were married? Yes or no? Correct, yes. Oh, same person. Same person. All right. So was he using the steroids in college? Yes. Okay. And so you said that you observed a fall off in penis size? Not in performance. What? You observed a fall off in performance? Yeah. I mean, just not, you know, just what not as stiff, you know, little, not self serve. Like when I was married, not like that, but just soft serve, soft serve, not soft serve, but just softer. Okay. And then that infected his performance? Yeah. Yeah. Overall, yes. Okay. And is that what ultimately caused you to break up with him? We all know you're a size queen. You talk about cock size nonstop on this. You're young. You just kind of flitter around. Did you at the time think, boy, these steroids sure are impacting his penis? No, like not like during sex, you mean, or like in real time. Just in general. Just like that one. It's just not as good. It's just, I don't think that's going on with his penis. I don't think that put you and two together until later. And then when you hit it again at a later date, when you had the revenge affair on your husband, Number one, I thought it was pretty, I thought your revenge affair was pretty good that you went back to your college day school. Yeah. Instead of having to get reacquainted with it. What was the mean thing? With a new penis. She was like, you know what, I'm going to go back to this one. From college to adult, full blown adulthood. So you're banging him in college and then you start banging him during your revenge affair, which I completely supported listener, by the way. She said her kids what she did. She made me set the kids. She's a proud. I was totally supportive of it because her ex has been deserved it. But during this time, the latter time, the affair time, was it even more fallen off from the, you know, you're talking a couple of decades later here from the sustained steroid use? Because I remember at the time, you feeling like it was pretty good. Yeah. No, it was, it was good. But I also wanted to do it before I went to marriage counseling. So, I mean, I wasn't exactly in the best frame of mind. I mean, I would go into marriage counseling with the FFG. Like I would set it up if the counseling was at 1030 in the morning, I would set the sex up with the at 930. I remember. She's fucked up. I mean, that's just not normal. She's crazy as shit like that. So I'm not in the best position to judge, but I don't, I think the sex was good in adult. I don't think there were any problems later in life. Okay. And do you think that the steroid use was sustained during all of this time? Or do you think maybe he? No, I don't think so. Because it really makes you pretty like, I mean, after a while, you kind of get crazy a little bit. And how do you know this? You observed this? Yeah. I mean, just angry or quicker to anger reactions were more intense. You know, it was pretty obvious probably after like six months. It caused a bunch of acne. I didn't notice that. But I definitely noticed a change in personality. I think this is far, I think this is far better for the straight man. They need to get off the steroids and look to the gay men for inspiration, for hygiene, fashion, fitness, because gay men, I will say you rarely see like a bulky, hardly ever big gay man. Like they are fit and they can have some bulk to them, but it's, it's a lean attractive bulk. I don't like a huge Arnold Schwarzenegger. It's just not attractive at all. No, it's not. In fact, there's this guy. Okay. So speaking of this, so there's this guy at my gym. He's a trainer and he is so attractive. Have you had sex with him? He smells. No, I wish. He smells great. And so this whole time that I've been going to the gym, I thought he was gay. And so I asked my trainer, should I go? Because I was going to take one of his classes and I was like, is he gay? She's like, no, he just got married. And I was like to a woman. She was like, yeah, and I go, I'm so shocked because he has everything together. Great body, great outfits, great smell, great look, very polished. You just don't find a straight man that hits all those cylinders very often. Did you not ask any follow up questions after that? Or you just said that and that was the end of the conversation. Now we were just talking about how good he smells and his workouts. Here's the error. Here's the error you made. You're in the Bible Belt. And if I had been there, I would have immediately pulled up with follow up questions and said, is he religious? And if she would have said, oh yes, he's very religious. And he goes to the mega church and he's up there and he's the worship leader, whatever they call it. We're going to worship practice, praise practice. And he's the praise practice coach. You immediately know he's as gay as all get out. So in the Bible Belt, when you see a man that is overtly metrosexual, you have to follow up with questions about their religious beliefs because oftentimes they're in high he could, he could still very much be gay. I'm just saying I'm going to follow up tomorrow. You need to follow up. If he goes to a mega church, if he goes to a mega church, I'm telling you. G-A-Y exclamation point neon sign. Don't you think, Ryan? It's just, it's just now I am, I'm married to a metrosexual. Right. I, oh my God. And I, in New York, there's every straight man up here is metrosexual. It's challenged my, it's challenged my gay door. I have a lot. Yeah, it's still excellent. It's still really, really good, really good. But it's challenged it a bit because in Oklahoma it was super easy because yeah, super obvious. But I do, I do think you need to follow up and report back with us because I support lifting up gay men and their embrace of fashion, hygiene, fitness, diet, all of the stuff that they do. I support straight men looking to that as hashtag inspo. I agree. I just think it's great. I think it's absolutely fantastic and I support it completely and I think that might be all we have. We've gone down some crazy shit today. Yeah, we have. We absolutely have. Kylie, do you have anything you would like to add before we go off? I think that that's all I can think of. I think we covered things I didn't imagine talking about today. I'm just glad that we're highlighting something that is a real problem in the world, not just in the United States. Girls night out, your friends with a lesbian couple, how do you tiptoe into that without creating a massive situation? Resentment. If you said no spouses and the girl thought you were, the wife thought you were friends, like if Kylie's my friend and I don't invite Anna, but Anna thought we were friends, then it creates resentment. So yeah, that's a minefield. I just can't imagine who wouldn't want Kylie and Anna. Yeah, luckily for us. Perfect pairing. We don't have to worry about this problem. Yeah, but sometimes what if we want to go separately? Here's the thing though. Here's the thing. It's not that you don't want Anna. It's sometimes you want a night where nobody is with their significant other. Agreed. And lesbians, at least the ones that I know have a real tendency for PDA. They cannot help themselves. There is a lot of lesbian PDA, which I support and I really don't support PDA, but because they're lesbians, I make a caveat for that. But you go out to this dinner or bar or whatever it is, and then you've got a couple of lesbians over there holding hands, arms around each other, chug, babe, honey. You're like, we kind of wanted to go out to not hear all of that tonight. Right. I just think it's something that we need to talk about. And I would like to let the illustriates in this cult to comment about this in the comment section because I like to highlight hashtag lesbian issues. Yeah. Yes. And not enough people are doing that. No. Is any other podcast doing this? No. Do you think anybody else is talking about this? I think this is probably the most lesbian podcast on the internet. I agree. American Top DEI Podcast, America's Top Lesbian Podcast, America's Top, let me check that. Twink's Max in contest. Twink's Maxing. I would definitely be in on that contest. You know, pumps kind of butch maxes. I do. You kind of butch max. I'm a butch. Softball, I mean the whole nine. Yeah, the softball shit's wild. I'm doing it on the other end. I was ahead of my time. You were? The softball shit's wild. Love it. Yeah, she loves it. Didn't you go down to like some hotel and like cheer them on? Like they walk there and you're like, way to go, Josie. Yeah. Way to go. And you call them all by their first names. Absolutely. We're friends. Yeah, it's so good. Got my picture right for the purple. Yeah. I love it. I love it. I think it's great pumps. I love your lesbian advocacy, sports advocacy. All right, speaking of advocacy, go to single screen. You ordered my book, Not Today Fascist. Where's my hat? You have a choice. You can say today fascist or you can say not today fascist. And this choice will go on and on and on and on. Okay, seriously, in all seriousness, by my book, pre-order my book, Not Today Fascist. By the way, I think Erica Kirk is a fascist. And I don't mention her in this book, unfortunately. I need to do it. Rewrite. Rewrite. But it's off to printing now. Please pre-order. It helps me more than you know. And make sure you are subscribed here. Leave us a comment and follow us on all the places. And we drop content all the time. Oh, here's something super important. This is like our funny podcast. And the news podcast is iHip News. So make sure you're subscribed there as well. All right, that's all we have. Tell you what I've had it with. Let's hear it. I've had it with that. online, in person, and on the go. Shopify is made for entrepreneurs like you. Sign up for your $1 a month trial at Shopify.com.