Ep 615 - Slim Goodie (feat. Sheryl Underwood)

Wild Wild West. Yeah, these are all your crew. Yeah. See, it's the same way with us. Yeah, everybody work with crew. Keep confidence is don't talk too much. Now they talk. We these guys, these three are a problem. They get a couple of whiskies every night at the open mics or not the open mics. You know, I mean, that's great. But they tell stuff. Oh yeah. They fight amongst each other with them. They fight amongst each other immediately. My well now mine started negotiating and gang up on me. I'm like, I would cut their heads. The second they unionize, they're dead. They're dead. This is no union. We're gonna get along great. I'm gonna try this with they ass. It'd be like Napoleon's cannon right into the French people. Grape shot right away. Actually, I know Kyle from this is this is a so you ever hear I talk about the time I was at the laughing skull comedy festival and I was in the green room and the men's US soccer team just lost and one of the lady comics walked in and was like, the men's team lost. They suck. I guess they still get paid more than the women. And I was just the one guy who was like, well, it's because they're not as good. And there was one guy in the room with me that was like, don't do it. Why are you doing this? And I was like, hold on a second. Had to be done. You're trying to warn him. He was like, don't you don't do this. It's like he is he is our Jim Kelly. We were in the wrong room for it. Well, why? Because it was just a bunch of women. Yes. And even the guys were women. Yeah, the whole group, every single guy in there was like, well, women are just as good at sports. Yeah, you pussy. You never played sports. Once you see a bitch get CTE, I have respect. I think they're born with it. Yeah. But see to me, here's my feeling. If you want to be equal, you will be treated equal. And you don't want equal because equal is the same. And that's what everybody I want to be equal. No, you don't know you don't. This the time that I'm gonna fucking get off the bus. Maybe we're talking about the pistons and lambir in them. If somebody get off the lambir, let's go and choke you and put you in the face. But we not even on the court. We just fighting in the parking lot. You can be equal. Yeah, I like it. Yeah, maybe the WNBA needs actually they've been fighting a lot. That's what got a lot of that's actually what picked the leak up. Do you think that they but I think that there are certain things like me being a female comic, women will come to see a man, right, with a guy. It's difficult for a man to come to see a woman. And that's why we end our show the way we end our show. It's an hour and a half of men ain't shit. So what guy is going to bring a group of his friends to go, let's go see some women, bash us for an hour and a half and pay for it and get two drinks and some chicken wings. What man wants to do that? Yeah, some gay guys and sickos. Pretty true though. Gay guys and sickos. Maybe that's got to end of that. See, I know gay men that that I get along better with a certain type of energy, right? But I know gay men that don't want to be represented the way the stereotype is. Yeah, I know gay men that fix cars. Nate, gay men. Are you gay? No, yes. I've been saying that is so in allegations. Yeah, he twerks. I forgot he twerked a drink. At Drake's party. Yes, he twerked that. I had to grab him. I go, no, no, no. You were twerking at Drake's. Hold on a second. Were you dancing when Sexy Red came on and I had to grab you and go, dude, but I wasn't twerking. It was the it was just you was doing your version of twerk. I do have a little move I must have, but it wasn't you was doing the Humpty dance before Sexy Red came on. I was already it was. Then the DJ pivoted to Sexy Red. Hold on. You was doing a Humpty dance. You was doing the dog. The key question is how low did you go? I didn't drop it one inch. You sex me. I almost did the Sexy Red. I did appreciate that. But it was almost. It's crazy. Did you stick your tongue out. Yes. He was looking at me. You love him. Are you in love with him? Am I in love with Sexy Red? Yeah. Yes. No. The funniest thing. Not gay. But yes. We all love each other. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. My guy. But he did twerk. But I didn't. But I didn't. So you and Tony Hinchcliffe have sex together. That's gonna be the rule. But the mayor is the freakiest of the group. Yes. Really? Yeah. No. No. Tell me. Nothing. What do you do? I'll tell you. Ask him one more time. I'll tell you something. Tell you something. Freakiest thing you do. Oh. What's the freakiest thing? I tried to go to an orgy in Milwaukee and it didn't work out. That's a good one. Yeah. I like. I knew you were gonna say something crazy. Orgy in Milwaukee. Yeah. He was with me in Milwaukee and he got on the internet and tried to find an orgy. And then he rode a, I think an Uber. Took an Uber to a hotel. They said, yo, if you give us 50 bucks, you can come to the orgy and they just stole 50 bucks from him. See, that sounds like a setup. Yeah. Of course. But here's the question, LaMare. What would you have done had you gone there? I don't know, man. He would have fucked everybody. That's $50. That's a buffet for this crap motherfucker. It's the buffet at six. He's like, oh, you're fiddling out. That's it. The Uber was what, five, ten dollars? It wasn't much. The entry fee to the orgy is 50. But you having a good night. There does have to be the Alaskan crab legs of the orgy. The funniest part about the people that ripped him off was we got back to New York and he confronted them online and they were like, actually, where are you right now? He's like, I'm in New York. And they were like, you're not going to believe it. We're having an orgy tonight. What did you, Vimbo on the money or something? What'd you do? The first time in Milwaukee. You sent them the money online. Yeah. Okay. Rule number one, you don't, don't pay before you fuck. Well, leave it on the dresser. They have deposits nowadays. They're doing deposits. Really? Is that what we're doing now? Not me. I mean, but that's what the business or was you fucking a man? No. Okay. There was gonna be some fellas in there. I'd say three to one guys. So then how many people would have been in the orgy? I think you got at least 10, right? 10 people. That's $50 a pop. That's $500. That's a good night. Yeah. Who get the money though? That in Milwaukee. What are we supposed to be talking about? I'm sorry. This is exactly what we always talk about. It would be nice to have hosts and non-existent orgy get 500 bucks and just jerk off by yourself in the hotel room. Yeah. It's like, I made so much money tonight. Yeah. It's awesome. That's a good plan. Yeah. This episode is brought to you by PrizePix. The regular season's done and the NBA playoffs are here. Time to get in on the action with PrizePix, a preferred partner of the NBA. NBA. And space B, space A. Download the PrizePix app today and use code DRENCH to get $50 in lineups after you play your first $5 lineup. And during the playoff, during the playoffs, make a $5 lineup with a live NBA pick for a shot at the Do It Live Sweepstakes trip to the NBA finals. That's a rough one, man. Whoa. More info can be found on the PrizePix promos board, PrizePix, a preferred partner of the NBA. Yeah. Now you know the crew. Yeah. Yeah. That's pretty much. Yeah. Your crew is probably similar to my crew. Yeah. That's why they only smile and they're like, don't tell our business. Why? What are they into? Yeah. What the hell? I would say, I would say I have the best team in the business because we understand each other, we respect each other and they keep my secrets. My team sucks. Really? They don't respect me. They tell everybody everything and then they fight each other. Really? Every night, these guys have three shots of whiskey and go, you motherfucker. Really? Well, maybe y'all want to fight each other, Daly and Kyle, no. No, y'all good. You guys are tight-knit. Very much so. That's nice. They're like the big brothers. They nudge me out of my comfort zone, like doing Netflix and even considering especially. I'm very afraid. Yeah. It's scary. Everything's scary. Why? Why? I don't know. Putting yourself out there sucks. So you've, how many have you done? I've only done two. I've only done one Netflix special. Okay. How'd you feel? I was nervous. Then once I did it, I was... What made you nervous? Putting yourself out there. Anytime I make anything and it goes out there, I'm like, why would I ever? Because for me, I'm more comfortable in a nightclub. For sure. Because the language can be relaxed and it's intimate and if you lose them, you can get them back. Yeah. In a special, now it's fixed in stone. But I will say this when Jamie Foxx and Marcus King produced this show Laugh a Palooza and it was filmed in Atlanta and me and Mike Washington had been going around doing shows right after September 11th. So I was doing some pro-American, pro-president Bush jokes about September 11th in a very hood way and everybody else in Atlanta was getting up and doing traditional sets, nightclub sets. And I told Jamie, I said, I'm going to bomb. And he was like, why do you think that? I said, because I'm about to do some pro-American jokes and pro-president jokes. Because I used to get booed talking about being a Republican and supporting President Bush. But once I did it and the response, Kyle, you, because you were saying Kyle's sitting off the camera, but it made you respect me more in that humor. That's what I realized. Oh, you're doing that. That's what Ted is and you suck a dick. You, oh, she got a strong mind. I didn't know that. But here's the thing. I'm going to take this off for him. I have a rule. I don't sleep with a fuck or engage sexually anybody. Hey, because I'm getting fucked twice. If you don't fuck who you pay, if you want to be in a relationship with me and you work for me, you must quit and then we'll see where it goes. But in hearing when we got to know each other and the jokes that he appreciated, I had to take the risk and I needed it to be recorded so it could be time stamped. But when you recorded your special, did you bring back any jokes that had been recorded or done somewhere else to put in the special? No. Really? You wrote off it? No, but I only did. The only thing I had before that was a YouTube special. So I didn't have anything ever recorded. Really? Really? But I don't think there's a problem with that. Really? Yeah. And then you and I were talking and like I talk in my show about being a Republican, but being considered a Rhino, being considered transphobic, being considered homophobic. There's nothing wrong with being considered that. What's a Rhino? Republican and name only. So in this administration, I've been a registered Republican for decades, right? But in this administration, the Trump administration, I'm considered a Rhino and which doesn't bother me. I just feel like one thing I love about the power of comedy is great discussion. You know, you're not going to agree. You're not going to like every joke I tell, you know, and you're not supposed to. You're supposed to have a certain type of reaction to certain things. What I ask the audience to do is sit through the set and figure out what you like and what you don't like, but let everybody else around you enjoy it. Yeah, that's fair. Yeah. And if you don't like it, because I was like really, like one of my first jokes was what go good with chili? What? What go good with chili? That's right. Now that you brought up white people, let's talk about that. That's one of my first jokes that I was telling. But how did the bush jokes go? I bet people were pumped. Well, they were the way they were told. Yes, they were. They were really stoked because they were told in a way that the urban and the black and the street Atlanta audience could understand. It's not for you to agree, but the president is the president. Like if it wasn't Trump saying a lot of shit, we'd be like, right, right, crypto, right, let's get in on this or right, right. Let's fuck these motherfuckers up before they get a nuclear weapon, right? It's it's it's who is coming out of sometimes and the times that we live in. But I think that's why I say what I say that the roast, you're not going to agree. It's a roast and it's a new generation of roast. It's no longer rimshot. Don Rickles, Dean Martin, Pearl Bailey, Lucille Ball. And it wasn't in a small room where we're all friends in an arena on national television. We never met. That's right. And it's international. Yeah. Right. But what I liked about it was you could see the camaraderie. And I think even talking about the George Floyd joke that Tony told, but I believe on the side of the cookout crew, Pete Davidson represented with the Charlie Kirk joke. I agree. You got to be offended by both or neither. That's how I felt about that. That's right. But you should be the reaction should be offense. The Floyd family should be upset. There should be a crew of people that are that are mad because that's the reaction you have, right? Because you're not thinking about freedom. We should think about your brother who was murdered by a system. But on the same token, I tell people it's a roast and it's a new generation of roasters because everybody's like, sir, how did you feel that they talked about your dead husband committing suicide? Okay. It really truly happened. And it happened over 30 years ago. So I called you. Yes. And that's why I said, well, when I did all the interviews, I would never ever do that without. Yeah. Yeah. But let me tell you something. Knowing you, knowing Tony, like I'm sitting next to Tony, this motherfucker is ordering crown and coke. And I'm like, so people think you are bigger, but you really a black man. You you look like Tony Robbins. Oh, it's a it's a black film. It's a black film. I see that. I mean, that's exactly what has a throne. He has like two or three different gold thrones. I was there two nights ago. You lie. It's the literally the blackest place I've ever seen my life. I'm telling you, sitting next to him. I was like, you're black. You you either something who beat him up in school? I think a lot. He got his ass with the line by the guest. He got like a spider-man bite. And see to me, I would love to see Tony and cat Williams in a buddy cop movie. That would be hilarious. Two little motherfuckers with big attitudes in a movie. Yeah, it'd be great. That would be very fun. Remember what I told you? I think you need to remake Smokey and the bandit. I like it. I'm usually getting John Candy. I get those a lot. I don't see it. I don't see it. Well, I lost a little weight. Yeah, but even if you were husky or you have a to me, you have a swag. Yeah, you got a swag. Yeah. No, no, I get it. I get it. No, I mean, you know, how tall are you? 6 3. How much away? 240. Okay. When I was 5 2 at 250. Yeah. I'm fine. Jesus Christ. But I think Cheryl Underwood knows that. I got to put the ball. I got to hold the ball. How long ago was this? Oh, how long have I been on a sex end of We Go Via Now on Zep bound? About three years. Oh, nice. Oh, look at, look at, you can see my weight fluctuate. That's why my book is called I'm fat because of you. So I'm writing my life story and it's called I'm fat because of you because I wanted to talk about the times that my body was protecting me and then it was attacking me and all the things that I was going through in life because I was like, I was a slim goodie back when I was in sexual interpretive dance. You're a slim goodie back when you were in sexually interpretive dance. That's what we call stripping in academia. Nate did sexual interpretive dance to sexy red. Now that's what they can say. Let's get out and do sexual interpretive dance. Yes. When I was much smaller, but then I think stress. You were a stripper? I attempted to back then it was called lingerie modeling and I was in college and I answered the ad to model you modeled the lingerie and then the guys it was in a bar tavern type situation in Chicago. This is a trick. It's no, it's true story. No, no, I mean a trick is to get girls to know. You go in and we put on the lingerie, we model it and the guy who buys it, you're supposed to strip it off for him. What? You know, but God let you know what you can't do and I wasn't good at it. So I was doing all the frees. I'll make people laugh. You know, hood do that. You funny. You need to put your clothes on and go home, but you funny. That's awesome. You know, so you went to school in Chicago. I went to Fresno City College. That's where my associates is from in Fresno, California. My bachelor's is from University Illinois, Chicago. My master's degree is from Governor State University Park, Illinois. I have five honorary doctors for them from HBCUs and one of them from my own alma mater, USC. That's great. That's awesome. So my doctor five times. Yeah, that's crazy. And I want to go to college, but I also want to be in the entertainment business. You know, I want to be smart enough to sit across from my lawyer and understand what was going on, sit across from my accountant. I don't know what they're saying. Yeah. So you got to know. I don't. You got to know. They're going to trick me. Uh-uh. They're just gonna trick me. The legalese is crazy though. I don't. It's all it is. It's Latin. It's Latin. Now you gotta do, I took Latin in college, but you need to. Okay. Now you're going to have to marry either a very smart, uh, uh, progressive black woman. Because you need a black wife. You need a. He's got a black wife. Your wife's back? Yeah. Yeah. She's from Chicago. What's her name? Brittany. Brittany. Hold on. Let me ask the black people. What year do you think she was born? Uh, I don't know what your brother's born, but Brittany Chicago black like just to defend. Is she Southside black or Westside black? Southside. Southside black. Uh, what, what, what location? Uh, like Holman, I guess. Drop a pin. Yeah. Damn. So what's where at Polman? Oh, she know, why, why hundreds? Oh yeah, Brittany. No, Matt visits any jogs in the neighborhood. You got to. I want for a jog. And they chase him. It's like Rocky. He's running. He's strong. He's strongly for jogging, but I won't know my jog either. Your insurance men are undercover cop. If you walking through the black neighborhood like that and you in the wild, wild hundred. Did you ever go to the copper box? Was that okay? And then Brittany didn't take it. She like stay your ass. So how'd y'all meet? Tender. We met online. You lied. I swear. And you fell into Philly. Yeah. She came to Philly for her master's degree. And then we met on Tinder. You have any children? Two. Wonderful. How old? Six and three. Wonderful. Yeah. How did you know she was her? I don't know. I just figured it out. We moved in pretty quick. We like went on a second date and I just like stayed at her house for pretty much then on. Wonderful. I mean, our house suck. Yeah. I was living with like six guys. So, yeah. Oh, so you know, it was like a bachelor pass. Yeah. And you fell in love and then y'all accelerated it. I'm very proud of you. Now what's up with you? I know this supposed to be your interview, but no, this is how we do. So, okay. So what type of, I'm gonna be nosy. What type of women do you like? Describe her. They usually are blonde. Good. Yeah. Blonde and smart. Not yet. Not yet. Not that blonde women are not smart. I'm just saying, do you like a woman who's smart? It's tough to find. What did Eddie Murphy say in coming to America? My loins. Yeah. Do you want someone that you can engage in conversation? Yeah, of course. Right. Right. Right. Okay. Now, see, I don't understand. Like I've been a widow since my, when my husband died, I have not been in what I consider a long term relationship because I can be quite reclusive. I like my long time. Yeah, I'm similar with that. Yeah. I don't like to sit up with a man and watch sports with him because I'm not talking to him. I'm okay with that. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, let me tell you a story. So I had this dude, I really, really liked and rarely I let people come around where I live. Right. So he was like, so what you doing tonight? What you want to do tonight? He said, I want to watch the fight. I said, why don't you, you know, swing by. So I got the fight ready. Right. I said, what you want to eat? And he texted, I said, text me what you want to eat. So I got all the stuff he wanted and everything. And then on my side of the bed was a stack of newspapers and magazines. And on his side of the bed was everything he wanted to eat and everything. So he was like, so what you doing? I said, I'm shutting the fuck up so you can watch the fight. And he was like, so you want to talk? That's wonderful. What the fuck am I talking to you? We're going to watch the fight. This is great. Yeah. And he didn't work. What's he? No, it did. Dumbass. He wanted to talk. But that's the that's odd. I don't know why. Like if we're watching, okay, what's your favorite team? I saw all the shirts and which favor team? Well, it's Eagles and Eagles. Okay. No day football. Okay. Now, Kyle, tell him, I watch college sports. Yeah. Oh, when I'm not when I'm working, I watch enough of it. But when I'm not working, Saturdays, Saturdays for college football. That's right. I don't know what the fuck I'm looking at. I just know I watch college. Hold on a second. I was college for us. And when I was drinking, have my beer and my shit and my snacks. Yeah, but nobody's there with me. Yes. Nobody's there. Nobody's there. Yeah. Nobody's there with me. I'm just watching sports. Now I will text Jim. Jim Kelly is my sports guru. Like when I watch Stanley Cup stuff, and I go, Jim, my only question, how do they know where the hockey puck is? I can't see shit. Jim Kelly. Not the not the football. Okay. If I was that cool, I would have told you that. I've got a fun story about Jim Kelly. What? So I had to do a the Super Bowl like two years ago, this guy, this rich guy asked me to go to this dinner and he wanted me to do stand up. But I was like, I don't know if I'm doing stand up. But we just went to this like steak dinner at this. It was like a long table, but it was just NFL Hall of Famers. So it was like, for real, everybody. I was sitting next to Jerry Rice. It was like Jim Kelly, Shannon Sharp. It was Oh, Nate was there. Nate twerked. Who were you twerking for? It was a different me thing he did to me that it was, you call me a pedophile. Yeah, that's how I closed. So thankfully, Jim Kelly led the table in prayer before. Because otherwise I had no material. It was just Jewish bankers and NFL Hall of Famers. But they have senses of humor. Jerry Rice is Jerry Rice is my fraternity brother. My members say to five beta he's a member of five beta. The only thing he laughed at was when I called native pedophiles. He probably thought that he lifted his head up and left. And I'm sure you guys saw the club say shea club, shea, shea interview I did with him. No, I didn't see that. Oh, yeah. Shannon and I sat in a car for hours when he was playing in Denver. So I was in the Denver I think it was when they first opened the first location of the improv. And what's the other guy is a Terrell Davis. Yeah, okay. So I thought Terrell Davis was Shannon and Shannon was Terrell. So he was like, so what'd you want to do after this? I said, I'm sell these CDs back then I was in CDs and cassette tapes and posters. So he was like, what do you want to do? I said, okay, I want to go on a carriage ride, right? Because I saw the horse outside, I want to go on a carriage ride. He said, come on, I'll take you. And this is Shannon talking to me. But I think it's Terrell. And so I go, okay, let me let me get this money right here. So he starts walking up these stairs of the club and goes, come on, if you come and I said, who the fuck you talking to? I said, yeah, I'm not these bitches in here. Give a fuck about you. My fucking, he was like, I say it. I was like, and I say it, I'm already me. Right. So anyway, it was sexy. I got off on it. But he said, come on, if you come and I was like, wait a minute, bitch, stand up for yourself. So I pack up my stuff after I sell it. Because even the white girls was like, he's telling you to come on. I was like, bitch, get a backbone. Yeah, you talking about. So we get together, we get in the car and we can't find the carriage ride. So we sit in the car for hours talking about what type of relationship we could or could not have. And fast forward to club, she's where we've ever talked about it side by side. That's great. I was definitely wanting to be a Mrs. Shad and sharp, but it wasn't meant to be. And we all stay friends. You know, that's awesome. Yeah, that's what you would hope. I mean, every man I've been with, I'm still friends with, you know, I'm like cool if they are live. But I'm still, I'm still friends. I left those jokes there. Yeah, you cannot say something. Can I tell you honestly? And that's what I've been doing in the interviews is telling people, listen, if they had not come with respect and said, these are the topics. Yeah. But I didn't know what was going to be said. And I did not know that Tony was going to do the George Floyd joke. Yeah. But when he did it, like I was over there, like scribbling on paper and asking God, send me, send me the response, send me the response like the response to you. Send me the response, but I don't want to be mean spirited. But with Tony and the George Floyd joke, my only feeling is if you don't have the right response that blows up the room even further, you've set back the cause. So sometimes it's say less. If you ain't got nothing good to cut his throat with figuratively about comedy, shut the fuck up because you're going to make it worse. In my opinion, what do you think? I agree. I think that's, I think you nailed it. Yeah. Yeah. I feel like the, so especially with the like the late husband talk, it was like this deeply personal, like a tragedy. And the thing no one talks about is like, you know, that's, that's like horrific to even think about and to be up there and just like laughing and making a good joke. And to me, it's like a triumph where you're like, he rose above it. You made a big joke out of everything. No one ever talks about that. I thought it was, I watch it. I was like, this is beautiful. And then you came up and I think Shane said a lot of your stuff was kind of like off the cuff the last minute, not even on the teleprompter. I was like, that like really blew me away because I was like, how do you do that in that room? I would be glued to the teleprompter sweating reading it. And to be like, all right, I have my own notes. I just formulated on a stage on live TV in front of an arena of people. I really was. I was like, this is amazing. Faith in God. Yeah. Ask God, send me the words, feeling safe, feeling like I'm not being attacked. So I don't have to be defensive. I don't have to be thin, scanned. And culturally, we cracked jokes. When he died, we did. We we we cracked jokes. I had to call my father and go, can come here and identify the body. My father was like, why? I was like, because you my daddy. Go on and then look, go on and then. But in stress, sometimes humor equalizes stress. So for me, when I first got to the talk on CBS, one of the first jokes I told was this joke about my best friend, Peaches. Now I'm in Chicago, my husband dies, jumps off a building. My best friend, Peaches tries to outcry me at my husband's funeral. And we're in a, what is it, funeral home, 71st and Hallstead. And I'm sitting up front and in my family, we don't, because we from down south and my father is conservative Southern, but we don't express emotion out, out in public. But so I'm sitting up front and we're just welling, coming back from the back of the room. And it's my best friend, Peaches, and she's welling and coming up and she is showing out. Black people know she is showing out at my husband's funeral. Now her husband is sitting about four pews back. I'm just thinking about my family at a funeral. If one person showed out, they'd beat their ass. They'd be like, what are you doing? Now we all looking around like, who is that? And she's welling. And so my father is nudging me and I'm nudging him. I'm like, I don't know what they're doing. She cried. So I walk up to her and I put my arms around her and I go, bitch, what the fuck are you doing? And we laughing, but it looks like we're crying with each other. And I said, I'm gonna let you go. Because your husband, Ivory Eugene, Grand Barry, this is for four pews back, watching you cry over my dead husband. I'm gonna let you go. He gonna fuck you up when you get home. But I couldn't say those words. And Julie Chin Moonves was the one who said, let's make it TV friendly, but let's put some words in it and get a little seasoning. Very funny. But it's when you say culturally, sometimes humor is the thing. It's the most uncomfortable humor that really kind of, it kind of lessens the tension and the stress. When you say, yeah, absolutely. Do you feel you've ever gone too far in something? Yeah, yeah, for sure. But then you're like, you know, as soon as you do it in a club, as soon as you're wrong, you go off shit. Well, well, but I mean, puns are supposed to get groans, a scatological humor, shit jokes, you know, they make you giggle like a kid. You know, the analysis of humor is what I love. But if you dissect the joke so hard, it's like a frog. You got to kill it to dissect it. But to me, for the people who are upset and on social media, I feel like you have a right to be that because now I get to talk about mental illness in men and specifically black men that men feel I don't need therapy. I don't need this. I don't need that, right? In this society. But people say, well, how could you sit there? Or it was offensive. Well, don't be offended for me if I'm not offended, but be offended for your point of view. And you can have your point of view. We're not saying you can't have it. Have it all on social media. Because most people trying to attempt to do stand up will never understand how it feels. It's it's like the greatest sex in the world with a bunch of people. You know, you just keep the high going. Milwaukee. Milwaukee is going wild. 50 dollars. 50 dollars. Now, what did you want to ask me? I'm sure y'all had some questions. What do you want to ask me? Yeah, well, really, my one question was like, and I can't you kind of answered it was like, how did you kind of put together that ad hoc, like response to everything that you said, you just kind of channeled God and just chilled out and relax? What do you? I guess this is a question I had to when like, because I've always wondered this before, like, you know, you suffered this personal tragedy. Was there part of you that worried like, I can't be funny again after this? It was like, I always wonder that if I be false and like or some like horrible tragedy happens to me, will it just like destroy my sense of humor and I'll become like serious and sad all the time? I felt like I had no choice. Yeah. For me to survive. That's why the book is I'm fat because of you, because I had to survive. I had to find a way to pay my bills. I had to find a way to build a career. So I just looked at it as and my father was like, don't want me, why not you? Like tragedy can't come to your door like it comes to anybody else's door. So the first thing I thought, what is funny about this? What is funny? A lot of people say, well, why would you make a joke about being raped? And after I was raped, I went to the stage with it because that's the place where I'm most comfortable in talking to people about something. You feel it could use that one in the roast. Yeah, I thought you were no, no, no, no, they tell me they tell me that that's you guys might talk about me being raped. I would dip first off. Definitely not. This lady got raped. Yeah, but I mean, come on. But but would you say that is what roasting is now? It's no longer you a hockey puck roasting in you all your generation in this time span of comedy, you hit beat really below the belt. And for me, I feel like the only thing you got to deal with, you ain't got to deal with me. Because I'm your colleague, you got to deal with the motherfuckers outside on behalf of what they mad about, right? But to me, if you worry about that, you restrict yourself to great comedy, right? So for me, every tragedy in my life, I bring it to the stage so that it I can show the audience, you can survive any tragedy if God let you open your eyes the next day. Okay, survive it because we talking shit. You know, if one of your relatives at the hospital that you hate, and we all in the hospital room going if we just pull the plug on this, you see, see how we all laugh. That's that's what humor does. Even though we know we not going to do it, or one of us might, but the rest of us not. That's what humor is for is gallo humor. It's Irish Wakes. It's black funerals. It's funny, black funeral. Hey, dig that motherfucker up and check his pockets. Why? Because he owe me $50. That's that's humor that gets you over a tragedy. I didn't know I wasn't certain your husband, your late husband was black. Really? Oh, because I had the type of the way he died. I was like, this sounds like a this is a very white guy thing to do. Jump off a building. Yeah. How so? What do you mean? Because that takes courage? No, I mean, it does. No, I'm not disrespecting them. It does. People are arguing me down when I talked about that. My in mental illness, it take it. I felt it took him great courage to be in such despair that he would do something that there's no way I could have done that. No way. But for that type of despair and that type of stress and people say, well, you know, because I had some therapy and and dealing with some things. But my thing is I did not kill my husband, but I may have exacerbated his stress. And so now that comes through in my comedy and saying, what type of companion I want to be to a man because I've watched the man I love. You weren't talking during the game, were you? No. Not at all. Not at all. Now that that that is one thing. Now I might ask you a question in a movie theater, but I don't like to talk. That's great. Because I talk for a living. Don't you have moments where you don't want to talk at all? Yeah. The second I get off the road, I sit on that couch and don't talk for three days. And women don't understand it. Do it. Well, they get mad at you. That's where that joke come from. You you are out doing whatever you're doing. Your man is out doing whatever he's doing. And as soon as you come home, you want to talk to him, give him a minute, let him shit, shower and shade, and then let him get situated and give you a signal that conversation should come forth. That'd be really nice. That'd be so nice. That's why I tell that joke. That's why I tell that joke. It's really just like you were talking to everybody else all weekend. I watched you. Right. It's like, yeah, it's my fucking job. That's right. But I don't want to talk now. They don't hear that. But then is that why you're single? Kind of. Yeah. That's one of the reasons. Yeah. Do you when you when you finish the show, how do you feel about because stand up comedy is the most sexually attractive thing to do aligned with singing. You gotta see you stand up. No, it is. It's sexual to make a woman laugh or to make a man laugh. It's a sexual thing. That's why it's so powerful. Making a lot of guys. Making all these guys laugh. Well, not that one right there. Yeah. That guy. That's why he's happy. That's why it comes to work every day. Right. I like that. I'll never stop thinking about that. Right. But then when you when you stop doing it, when the show is over, what do you do with all that adrenaline? I drink. Okay. I used to. It's not like I will never drink again. Yeah. But I really want to see how I can reset my body for longevity. But I will tell you this. I drink because I like the taste of alcohol. And it's not that I like what it does to me. I like the taste of good whiskey or the taste of good gin or the taste of a great martini. You know, and I used to smoke cigars, but I don't anymore. But I like that sort of thing. But you are you drinking because you're adrenaline is up. And now you need to pump the brakes because alcohol is a depressant. Or do you drink because you like to taste the alcohol? I like drinking. Right. And you drink by yourself? No, you drink with bitches. I mean, no, sorry, women. No, it's almost entirely men. You should see my green room. It's literally why you don't slip to Mickey and get what you want. Because I see you looking at him. Slip to Mickey to drink. And then you know, finally I got Shane where I want him. Got your hand turned back. Got your socks on. Giddy. Really? He's a bad boy for life. He usually just guys. Well, see, but that that's the that's the wind down. Yeah, right. It's the wind down. And we remember we would go we used to have this thing and everybody goes to it. It's called the company field trip. And the company field trip is where I would take my entire team to the strip club. And we were I were bringing in some company field trips. You'd love it. You'd love it. It's a lot of fun. A lot of great food. Where we going? Magic City? Magic City. In Atlanta. The wings are amazing. The brockley. Grubhub them. Yeah. I didn't even go to Magic City. I got a fucking lemon pepper wings. The wings and the broccoli. Yeah. Rings and the broccoli. And the service is amazing. And we would go in there and people would say, well, sure, why do you go in the strip clubs? One to talk to the girls about, listen, I came last year. I like to talk to them too. That's right. Your ass still here. Yeah. You said you were doing this for beauty school. Why the fuck you still here? Or college or whatever. But then also, it's the only place where the guys aren't looking at me. They're talking to me about politics and sports and current events or street life. They're not looking at me. They're talking to me. They're looking at her. And then she primes them up. And then I just lean over and go, So what you doing after this? It's kind of genius, honestly. Yeah. It's funny. It takes like 12 naked tits to just focus on conversation. Sitting next to her just like, So how have you been? Yeah. I never even asked. How's little Tay Tay doing? How do kids? Yes. What you got? Me? Yeah. Who me? Stinking Lincoln. I got, yeah, just the Stinking Lincoln July 17. Please come to Lincoln Financial Field in Philadelphia. It's the most important moment of my life. Yeah, that'll be fucking nasty. And if it doesn't go well, I'm gonna leave this earth. I'm gonna get pyro underneath the stage and I'm gonna tell them go ahead. Yeah, just flame me. I'm out. Guys, I picked up some comedy club dates all summer long. We're gonna be having fun together. I'll be six, five June 5th and 6th. I'll be at the Summit City Comedy Club, Fort Wayne, Indiana. And that is, that's in just a few weeks. I ran into a buzz saw over there. Did you really? Yeah. What happened? Just an absolute buzz saw. People were just hammered. It's a fun club. Yeah, that'll be, I'll be there in the dog days of the summer. Levity Live, Huntsville, Alabama, the Stardom Comedy Club, Birmingham. I'm excited for that and Spokane Comedy Club, Spokane, Washington. Also, it's not up yet, but I have a bunch of more dates. So check them out on www.Metmccloska.com. Goodbye. How do you wind down now after the show? That's something I always struggle with. How do you like, because I feel crazy. I just, yeah, how did you not drink after the roast? It was fun. I kept telling myself, you don't want to, I got a goal that I'm trying to get to. Sure. I kept telling myself, stay focused. It's like being an athlete. Most people don't look at us as athletes because it's such a sedentary life and, you know, it's excess, right? But being a stand-up comic, you have to be able to remember what you're doing, then remember what joke, when it doesn't work, to replace it with another joke, you have to be ready to, if I've been drinking all night now, I'm puffy on camera, right? So it's a lot of regimental type of training. But for me, after the roast, I just felt relieved. That's first thing. I wanted to get out of my shoes. But also, I normally don't go to after parties. I don't hang out. Rarely do I go to what they call Hollywood parties, because I'm kind of reclusive. But then I thought, come on, Cheryl, you need to engage people because you need work. I need work, especially there's no TV shows, no movies being done. I was on daytime TV for 14 years. So for me, I thought, okay, do this. And then I would never got representation and the things that happen so fast after that. But also, I wanted to enjoy the high of working with my colleagues. That's what I want to experience without alcohol in my system. So I can remember it. Why you smiling? I just, I had a great time. Yeah, I was fucked up. I love my colleagues. When you walked up to me with the bud lighting hand, I said, that's the guy. That's the guy. And I thought that was the coolest thing. But the chance that we talked backstage. And but then also to have a 45 30 minute conversation with the rock about life. Okay, how'd you feel? I've met him before and he's the nicest. Yes. It's crazy how nice he is. Yes. Yes. When he was making fun of me, he was talking about me and him working out together and then sitting in a sauna. It was true. We really did that. Yeah. And me and him were in a sauna and he was just the coolest. Yes. Nice. It was weird. Yeah. It was, you know, having our body types sitting across from each other. And you look at it. Okay. But would you work out with him and would I? Would you? On a consistent basis? No, fuck no. Mark Wahlberg, would you work out with him? No, he's a really three in the morning. But he's a really great person. I've never met him. He seems like, yeah, there's a photograph of the Pacquiao Mayweather fight. There's a photograph of me and Mark Wahlberg on a, like there's some kind of landing. And we're just really ragging on Jake Jillaha while he's being interviewed. And he's a really good dude, spiritually good. Good Catholic. Yeah. And he, but he understands his humanness. Yeah. You know, that's one good thing about being in the entertainment business. You come across people you see in TV and movies and you get to talk to them and you'll find out the good or the bad and go, you're a trip or I'm glad you haven't met too many bad ones. Really? Not yet. Of those that are not your one name? No, I don't think I've really met any. Yeah. Rarely do I get my feelings. You feel pretty cool. Yeah. Same way. But that has speaks more to who you guys are than who the person is. You know, because you're not going to track too much bullshit. You got hands. Shane. You got a while. You put your mirror down. As soon as you put your mirror down, you miss a punch and fall down. Pants fall down. That one, I gotta step up and throw these little hands. Yeah, that I need you. I got those little baby hands. That's why I keep my squad of hitters. You keep big baby. That big baby over there. Big baby. That's cuddly. That's cuddly do right. Right. That's cuddly do right. He just squeal, squeeze somebody. Just get in there and squeeze it. Our whole squad's drunk. We we'd lose to almost everybody. So your lover's not fighters. No, we try to fight. It's a swing and a miss. But I would say I was I would go around went to the after party, but I was like, come on, Kyle, let's get in the car. Why? Because it's time to go. Yeah. Yeah. Even doing Tony's podcast last night and people go party after. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Oh, yeah. And I was like, Hey, let me let me do my thank yous and thank you for having me. And you know, you get to a stage in your career where you like, this is wonderful. You kids have fun. Go to bed. Turn the lights off. Make sure you put the humidifier. I did leave that after party. Or after the roast, I left. Yeah. Really? Yeah. But then I was walking out and there was TMZ. Yes. They got me. What they were trying to find. I was trying to find Lewis. Our one friend was, I don't think he'll mind. He was on Molly, I think. Oh, yeah. He doesn't care. And I walked out and TMZ was out there and they're like, What's up, man? How do you think that went? I was like, I'm trying to find my Mexican friend. He's on drugs. And they followed me around the corner and Lewis was sitting there like, and I was like, this is him. Because right when I walked out the door guy was like, there's a guy named Lewis who says he's with you and he keeps bothering us. You got to get him the fuck out of here. I was like, Damn. Then TMZ was like, What's up, dude? That's how do they not air that? That's a great. I don't know. I hope they have it. That's a great interview. Yeah. How often do you come to LA? Never. Really? Yeah. Wow. You don't like it? I only really go places for shows to do shows. So once a year, twice a year. Really? Yeah. See, I look at LA as a, it's a small country town with a lot of big inflated people. Yeah. It's really, everybody knows everybody. That's true. It's smaller than people think. It just appears big because it's, you know, Beverly Hills, Hollywood, Century City. But if you actually get in it, you're like, Oh, you're just like regular people. You just have maybe a lot of money or a lot of power. Yeah. I'd never go to LA. Yeah. I like LA started out as pure tannical religious community. Funny enough, movie industry came in and they were like, maybe not. Yeah. Yeah. I like California in general. I just like the. It is awesome. Yeah. It's nice. You know what you would really love? What's that? San Joaquin Valley. It feels like the South. It's a lot of farmland. When I went to high school, I went to Atwater High Castle Air Force Base. We had Aggies. And so the Aggies are kind of like the country and the cowboys and stuff like that. That's nice. Yeah. You would, you would really like it. Yeah. You would like it a lot. A lot of drinking. I like drinking. A lot of. And I like looking at farms. Yeah. Not working. Yeah. Right. And there you go. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. You gotta go to Napa. Napa's nice. You just hang out on. You can get hammered on farms. I was supposed to go there this weekend. Why? What happened? I was, I'm tired. True. I didn't want to go. It was like a music festival. Yeah. Yeah. You wouldn't feel good afterwards. No. Yeah. Get hammered. So what's the plan then? So you said after the roast, it was just things kind of connected and took off. What's the plan outside of the special? I would say continuing to work on the road because I love working on the road. Me and Kyle and I need a job tour. That's why we named it that because like most Americans, we need work. Yeah. I want to get deeper in the podcasting. I was just about to say, do you have like an interview show you do or anything? Well, Kyle and I are working on politics and punchlines as the podcast because I want to be able to talk about the politics of all situations, including politics. And the punchline is the humorous thing that comes out of that discussion and move on to interview people. I want to start with just me and Kyle because you can't depend on the interview because the interview either might not show up or might not be good. Yeah. If you guys aren't good together, your chemistry, then you don't have a show. So I want to get in the podcast. I want to go back to terrestrial radio. Nice. I believe in radio, even if I'm just a contributor in all formats. Sherlock Underwood's Great American Talent Search, we're doing the first one in Lake Charles, Louisiana. And I believe that it's everything. Spoons. Someone's gonna, someone's gonna play the spoons. Spoons. Washboard. If you do hair, you can put in a quick weave in 60 seconds. That's your talent. If your dog jumped through a hoop or if it bark and sound like it's singing, that's the talent. You can do a monologue. But if you are a singer or a singing group or a band, you must master the past. That's classic rock, classic country, classic R&B, classic soul, classic gospel, classic Latin, whatever you do. Not classic hip hop. Yes. Classic hip hop. Because of that, like, hey, everybody, my name is James. Yes. Yes. Yes. Because what it does, it brings in the demographic that remembered all that music, right? If somebody gets up and does Ronnie Mills at wouldn't it be great if White Dude got up and was singing some type of country song, maybe even a George Jones song, but then said to the audience, let me show you what else I can do and then start singing Keith's Sweat. Be wonderful. Wouldn't it? And I come out and have my dog jump through a hoop and I'm like, hey, everybody. Okay, so wait a minute. Some guys are fucking pair of spoons and sitting backstage going, oh, I gotta follow that. That's it. I like it. I like it. I like it. So would you guys help me pull it together? Matt would move before me. I like playing music. Yeah. All but it's anybody doing anything. He's got a blind dog. There you go. I'll bring out a blind dog playing the spoons. It's hilarious. You can't beat that kind of. Benji. That sound nice though. I like the multi genre. Like, let's let's see it all. Let's see what you can do. But it crosses the reason I want to engage radio with it. It crosses all formats. And I want to do the preliminary rounds through comedy clubs. So it's really an elevated version of the open mic hosted by local comedians and local radio jocks. And then when you get to the final round, then that's where you really have, it's a bigger experience for the community. It brings in small businesses. It brings in corporations, but it brings the community together. If your fire department got up and did new addition, it would, it would really be a great experience for that. But the one we're doing in Lake Charles is doing Juneteenth. And I asked them while we're tabulating the results, could we do a reenactment of Juneteenth? I'll be a part of that. Now, what would you be wearing? Blue or gray? Blue. Come on, you see the house? I know. I just want you to say it for the people. Right. But don't you think to me, that's what brings us together, right? And to do something fun like that after we do the I need a job tour, my next tour will be Sheryl Underwood's Great American Talent Search. Oh man, I was going to make a terrible joke. Okay, Reggie, you know what the guys did after Juneteenth? What they went on the I need a job tour? They said, oh, shit, I need to go on tour. Listen to me. Listen to me. Listen to me. For the brothers and sisters that's watching, he means the Fisk Jubilee singers. Okay, so we got you on camera. You're going to help me pull this together. Yeah. Because I think it'd be great for the country. And you can find talent. And if you want to put Afro, Bita, or EDM underneath some classics, you got to do something. I just think we can find the next sticks or Boston or even Leonard Skinner. Yeah. I think because all of that, these kids do not understand the fun we had in forming a group or making a band or, you know, trying to make this music or this and coming together, you know, as entertainers, how could Michael Jackson be vilified, die, and then become the best selling movie? But all his music is going back up the charts. If there isn't something there, right? Yeah. And so for me, I just want to bring the country together. And I believe in this as something that will bring us together and possibly turn into something really, really great. That's awesome. It'd be nice. Yep. What else you want to know? Is it time for me to go? Let me look at the time. Yeah. That's another thing too that I have a tendency to do. I could be with a man and I feel like I'm getting a little too relaxed, a little too talkative. And I go, you know, I think I need to go to the bathroom and then I'll just sneak out of the building. That'd be so confusing. I was like, things were going well and she left. Well, once these phones came out, I will text her from the car and go, hey, call me later, or I'm going to call you when I get home. That stops the, oh, she left. No, she really likes me, but I snuck out. I still would be like, I think I scared her. Scared what? If a lady escaped. Yeah. Well, if I'm lingering, my dad had a saying, that's nice. Ling along, but die you must. I don't want to linger. That's how countries are done. No, Arkansas. Yeah, we from Arkansas. So to me, yeah, he said, linger long, but die you must. That's right. At a time I make a monkey, red pepper. You know, he had these great Southern things. It's like, think about that. That's nice. That's right. It's tough for me to figure out, but I like it. Chicken ain't number the bird and bush. It ain't number chewed up grass. That was my dad. Right. So to me, if I'm, if I feel I'm lingering, I will make a getaway. You know, yeah. Lingering after you hook up or because that's a great time. If a lady escaped after that, I'd be like, that's one thing. Clinginess is a problem. Yeah. Yeah. To me, I kind of resist. Maybe you think I'm a commitment foe. When you say fellas on my team, I'm a commitment foe. Possibly. Well, listen, I believe in love. I believe in monogamy. I'd like to get married another time, but I believe marriage is till death do us part. I talk about it in my show, but I, I want to go through the courtship. Like I believe you should not live with a man in the house and I could be married to a guy and not live in the house until we're ready to live together. Cause that's what fucks up the relationship in my opinion. When you rush cohabitation and you're not ready. So for me, like if I'm back in my one and done days, sleep with a guy, I would like wait for him to go to sleep and I was just bar my clothes up and sneak out the hotel. It's wonderful. Nothing better than waking up and be like, Oh, nice. And if I'm at his house, I would sneak out the house and put my car in reverse and let it coast out. So the car would just start at all. That's another one where I'm starting to get worried. No, no. Hey, Kyle, do you remember that time that I pulled the young handsome man basketball dude? Yeah. And what did I do? Did not call you and I said, and I was like, why are you whispering? I said, I was like, Oh, Oh, I said, come get the luggage. And you was like, why are you whispering? Come get the luggage and don't let the elevator ding. Cause I'm right next to the elevator. Cause I didn't want to see that pitiful look in your face. When the woman leaves, I was like, you know, that pitiful face is fake, right? You know, that's fake. Now something looking sad. No, don't leave. Something looks sad. They look, why are you leaving? No, that's fine. I thought we were going to go get something to eat after the no, no, no. I like my long time. That's fake. That's good. No, we see what we should do with the dating show. I rarely talk about it, but yeah, but no, because I think women need to hear what men really feel. Yeah, nothing. See, I think y'all do feel something. Y'all just don't believe that women are going to listen. But yeah, also you can't be vulnerable to a lady. She'll hold it against you forever. That's not the right girl. I saw you cry, you bitch. Okay, okay. What sporting event did you cry it? So many. Thank you. Yeah. That's right. Oh, who gets the scholarship to walk on? Oh, that's every time. It's over. Down syndrome guys hitting threes. Yeah, it makes you cry. Putting a guy in. Yeah, special needs guy on the bench comes in, hits a couple threes. Fuck, that's beautiful. Yeah. Yeah. So why can't you cry in that? I could. Even the one tear. That's nice. Yeah, I'm okay with that. If she's smart, she won't rag you for it. She'll understand he does have humanity. Yeah. But shut the fuck up sometime. Bitches, you ain't got to say everything to this dude. Just notice everything. That'd be nice. I feel I feel a lot. I feel a lot of feedback myself. Yeah, you get some feedback. Ain't a lot of feedback. Really? Yeah. Get a lot of feedback. See, I just don't think I don't think we need to talk about everything. You know, sometime when a man is ready to talk to you, be ready to listen and sometime don't answer back. Just just listen to him and nod. Go. Mm hmm. Yeah. Mm hmm. Wonderful. I got it. But sometimes I'll say, are you are you cool? Are we cool? Are we still together? Yeah. Are you cool? I feel like you need some time behind you. Before you can eat the proverbial pepper of just not bothering a guy. That hard. Time plus distance equals clarity. Yes. I'm going to leave you alone so that I don't shoot you. Right? I'm going to let you have your space. Because you're talking to me crazy. You know, you're kind of flagrant right now. I know you mad about some bullshit. I didn't know that was your father. Motherfucker rise you in my face. Just listening. You listen to a guy also figure out what he eats. Figure out what his comfort zone is. Make that great. Because then he's going to make everything great for you. 100%. Happy home piece of mind. Makes a man come back. He is a man. It's true. That's right. Me and LaMaire live together. So when you find the man of your dreams. That's me. He won't, he doesn't make me anything. LaMaire hasn't cooked one. Actually, he made chicken alfredo. That was nice. This chicken curry and Mary from a week ago. In that fucking jug in there. Throw that out. That's been fucking disgusting. Come on, he's got a jug of fucking chicken curry in there. This is fucking gross. I didn't know where to put it. Throw it out. Throw it out. But how are we doing? That's good. Yeah. All right. Thank you very much, Joe. Thank you for having me. It was a lot of fun. I was stoked when I heard you were coming on. I was like, this is awesome. Look forward to working with you guys. Let's work together. Truly bring the country together. I love that. Let's do it. I would too. Good stuff.