S25 Ep3: She Will Do Great Things

Starting a business means wearing many hats, designer, marketer, manager, while chasing your vision. Shopify powers millions of businesses with tools to build beautiful stores, create content and market with ease. From inventory to shipping, everything runs smoothly. If you're ready to sell, you're ready for Shopify. Sign up for your 1€ trial today at shopify.nl. That's shopify.nl. Something Was Wrong is intended for mature audiences and discusses topics that may be upsetting. This season discusses sexual, physical, and psychological violence. Please consume the following episodes with care. For a full content warning, sources, and resources for each individual episode, please visit the episode notes. Opinions shared by the guests of the show are their own and do not necessarily represent the views of Broken Cycle Media. The podcast and any linked materials should not be misconstrued as a substitution for legal or medical advice. Thank you so much for listening. Previously on Something Was Wrong. The night that I was sitting in the ER, that's when I myself reached out to the Title IX director. I said, I was assaulted on your campus on the Sunday, October 15th, and I would like to file some kind of complaint. We finally found an attorney and she encouraged us to go to the local court and try to file for some kind of protective order or restraining order. Otherwise, I felt like he was going to keep chasing me down in the school or in the parking lot. We had a meeting with the president of the college and the dean of students. And we said she called public safety and nobody answered. I was so mad. After the accusation was made and after we learned that there were other victims that were reported to the school and he was still remaining on campus and she still was running into him. At that point, we decided we need to like really do something about this. On November 9th, 2023, the Title IX office sent both parties an email that informed both parties that an investigator from Title IX Solutions had been assigned to investigate complainant, which was you in this case, allegation of sexual misconduct. It says, is employed by Title IX Solutions as an independent contractor. This hearing officer had not had any discussion regarding this matter with prior to the hearing. And then on November 21st, 2023, the investigator contacted each party seeking to establish an interview time and place. What do you recall about that? I think that I hit the jackpot with she was amazing. She was very, very good at her job. The process leading up to it was kind of annoying, though, because once I had been established with my lawyer, I had started sharing all the documents and all the evidence and sending all the screenshots and all the pictures, everything to her. She had them all. But for some reason, the Title IX people from my school, they would give us these deadlines. They would email us on November 1st, and they would be like, we need all of your documents in by November 2nd at 11.59 p.m. And we were like, that's tomorrow. So they would give us zero notice. And my lawyer and I had multiple different times I remember this happening. We would have to completely scramble to get all the information. And what about on the police side of things? How frequently were you hearing from that detective? She actually wasn't even the one that reached out to me when he got arrested. It was somebody that worked at the police department in like the front desk. So I really never heard from her again. Do you remember where you were when you got that call? Absolutely. That was one of the best moments of this entire situation. I don't remember the date of Thanksgiving last year, but it was the Wednesday before Thanksgiving. I was home. I was on Thanksgiving break, which was blissful in itself. This is the first break I've had since this horrible thing has happened to me. I'm so happy to be home and be with my family. I was in the living room with my parents, and I remember it was snowing outside. I had been just hanging out, and I was sitting on the couch. My phone rings and it's the number of the police department. And I was like, it's kind of weird because I hadn't heard from them at all. So I wasn't expecting to hear anything. I answered the phone and then they told me Cody has been arrested this morning. We arrested him at work. They took him in for two counts of indecent assault and battery. I don't think he unfortunately ever saw the inside of a jail cell, which if I had it my way, he'd still be there. He had to get bailed out and then his conditions of release were that he stays away from me, unenrolls himself permanently from our school and stay away from my school too. I think he had to stay like 30 yards away from our campus and then the yardage of my harassment prevention order and move his things out effective immediately. That was the best. My parents were home with me. They heard it all too. I put the woman on speakerphone. So I was sitting on the couch with my parents and then my mom just started bawling because I think she was so relieved. My dad was super happy. And then I called all my friends that knew about it, my circle of people. And I reached out to my lawyer and I told her. And it was just such a big celebration because I felt like I'd finally been listened to for the first time in the entire process. I bet it had to feel like such a relief. It really did. I swear that was the first time I actually slept good since that happened. Here's Luna's parents. We just did a happy screaming celebratory dance in the house. It's just so long. Yeah, good news. Yeah. Investigator contacted each party seeking to establish an interview. According to her notes, it says that interview with you took place on November 29th, 2023. What do you recall about that? The actual interview itself was okay because my lawyer was with me. It was a Zoom meeting. I remember that. And I was in my dorm room. It took like three hours. But the interview was really good. She was very supportive and she was very warm. They're not supposed to be biased, but I think right away she believed me. Her behavior was very representative of somebody who felt bad. She kept saying, I'm so sorry that this happened. They want to know the background. So I told her how I met him and how everything led into how it did. And I had sent her all the screenshots and all the files and rape kit numbers and police reports. I had told her what I wanted to come from this, that I just wanted him to go away for the sake of myself and for the sake of every girl on our campus. Because if he did it to me, I'm not convinced that he wouldn't do it to somebody else. And then that was kind of it. And then I didn't hear from her for a while. According to her notes, it says that the investigator contacted respondent November 28th, December 8th, and December 12th of 2023. And then on December 12th, 2023, the investigator was informed by respondent's advisor that he would not be participating in the interview process, but did want to review the investigative report when completed. She noted multiple times in her report that essentially he was not willing to be interviewed or participate in the process at all. That is absolutely maddening. Did you get many updates throughout the process? It sounds like it was a lot of hurry up and then wait. Yep, it was a lot of that. Nothing was in advance. There was zero notice. I would have periods of complete silence where I wouldn't hear anything and I would be like, what the heck is taking these guys so long? They would be like, we have no updates for you. But again, if there was anything that we needed to do, we would need to do it by end of day, same day. There was another point where my school's media team posted on their Instagram, Happy New Year students. And it was a picture of Cody hugging some female student after he had already been arrested. And I was like, you have to be kidding me. On my Instagram, on my phone, I do not want to see this man's face. That was horrible. So we emailed my lawyer about that and she wrote to them and they immediately took it down. Do you not look at the pictures you're posting? Do you not consider the weight of the decisions that you guys are making? I just have never seen so much chaos at once. Here's Luna's parents. I was the one that saw it on Instagram. The school posted a picture of Cody and used him as like their poster child for their college. The audacity. Just the unbelievable. They just don't think. They don't care. I don't know who put that up. Yeah, that was a big, huge hit. What in the heck is this guy doing on the Instagram page? It had to be so upsetting. It made me so angry. I'd like to thank our sponsor, Chime. Chime is changing the way people bank. It's fee-free and smarter banking built just for you. It's not like old school banks that charge you overdraft and monthly fees. It's not just another banking app either. They unlock smarter banking for everyday people with products like MyPay, giving you access to up to $500 of your paycheck anytime, and you can get paid up to two days early with direct deposit. Forget overdraft fees, minimum balance fees, and monthly fees. Chime turns everyday spending into real rewards and progress. And now you can build your credit history with your own money and get rewarded every single day using Chime card. It's a new card that unlocks safer credit building and cash back with everyday spending. Imagine cash back and credit building with your own money, finally on the same card. 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Sign up for your 1-euro trial today at shopify.nl. That's shopify.nl. Ready, set, Ford. You're ready to sell. You're ready for Shopify. Sign up for your 1 euro trial today at shopify.nl. That's shopify.nl. Starting a business means wearing many hats, designer, marketer, manager, while chasing your vision. Shopify powers millions of businesses with tools to build beautiful stores, create content, and market with ease. From inventory to shipping, everything runs smoothly. If you're ready to sell, you're ready for Shopify. Sign up for your 1€ trial today at shopify.nl. That's shopify.nl. One day, it was February at this point because it went on for a really long time. I was at the aquarium with my mom and we were doing like a little trip. I checked my email while I was standing next to like the stingray tank because I felt my phone go off in my pocket. I had not heard from the Title IX people in a month and I'm far away. And the email says, we need all documents submitted by 4.30 p.m. today. And it was like 2.15. You have to be joking. So I sent it to my lawyer and I was like, is this possible? And she's like, absolutely not. She ended up reaching back out to them and was like, you need to give us more notice because she was out of town at that point. I was out of town. I'm just trying to be a young person in the world and have fun and not let this be all consuming. That was really frustrating. And it went on like that for months. The final investigative report was submitted on February 7th, 2024 by investigator to the Title IX office. for dissemination to the parties and their advisors. Then on February 27th, there was a pre-conference hearing before the official conference meeting. What do you recall about that? That was a really brief meeting. It was with the actual judge. She was really nice. That was just a time for me to ask any questions that I had ahead of time. The only thing I wondered was how the process worked. She just explained it to me. It would be like a court hearing where you would testify. He would have the opportunity to testify. My attorney would cross-examine him, and his attorney would cross-examine me, and then we would have a verdict within a few days. And enough time had passed where I was like, okay, we need to just get this over with. There was a hearing set for March 14th, 2024. It says, Complaintance Advisor, Advisor for Respondent, we're in attendance during In the course of the conference, complainant's advisor requested an opportunity to reply to the final investigative report. This request was ultimately denied on the day of the hearing. What do you recall about the actual hearing conference? That was a really interesting day. I was at home. I did it on my computer right in my dining room. It was on Zoom. My parents were home, but they made me swear that there was nobody else in the room, which makes perfect sense. So my parents had to go elsewhere in the house and I had headphones on. Cody was not present for the hearing. I still don't understand how that's allowed. It was myself, my attorney, and his attorney, and then the judge. So his attorney got to cross-examine me, but he never had to be cross-examined. I remember that the first thing that happened was they had my witnesses go first. So they had my RA and my RA was amazing. She told it exactly how I told it to her. She held up really well with the cross-examination. And then my roommate went next. And same thing. She held up really well through the cross-examination. And then it was my turn. So I had announced my name and swore to tell the truth. And they did the whole put your right hand up and all that. I'm really grateful that my lawyer was there because she was able to prompt me and walk me through it so that I could share the story without having to just ramble on about it. I had talking points, which I think made it a little bit less scary. I had told her my whole story. My attorney was the first one to ask me questions. She asked me things like how dark was the room because I do think that all of those little details actually showed just how helpless the entire situation was. She reiterated the fact that the door was locked, that I was pinned between him and the wall, so there's really nothing I could have done unless I was going to try to climb out, which was not something that I was going to do. It really brought home the fact that it really was not in my control. And then his attorney got to question me. I know it's the defense attorney's job to try to get you to crack, but she just made me feel really awful about myself. She had really tried to bring home the point of what were you wearing? What were you wearing? Which I had already heard that from the police department. It really can't get any worse than this. And then it did because she just kept saying, well, what were you wearing? What movie were you guys watching? To this day, I remember we were watching The Nun. I don't know why that matters. But at that point, I didn't remember because I was just trying to survive. She had asked me really stupid stuff, like what color were his bedsheets? I have no idea. She had asked me like why I didn't go to the hospital that night and why I didn't tell anybody even sooner. And I'm like, I was scared. I don't know how else to explain it. I was paralyzed with fear. And like my roommate said, I was completely in shock. And you can't make rational decisions when you're in fight or flight mode because your body's not thinking logically. But whatever I said must have been enough because I ended up winning the case, which was really great. The report says in all bold, I find and conclude that the allegation of unwanted sexual assault to be true based upon a preponderance of the evidence. Respondent is found responsible for a violation of blank college sexual misconduct policy. I do find that the complainant did not consent to the actions of the respondent and that his behavior was sufficiently severe to support the evidence of a hostile environment which interfered with the complainant's education at the college. She really got it spot on. What did it feel like when you received the news that you had won and what do you recall about how you found out? I was in the car. I think I was coming home from school or something like that I'd gotten an email and I have this little like phone holder in my car that sticks to my dashboard So that I don't have to like pick up my phone if I need to use my gps or something and I saw the email come through So I pulled over on the side of the road I was skimming through it because i'm like the verdict is in here somewhere I didn't read the full thing until I got home But I scrolled and I scrolled and then I found in bold the fact that she found that it was unconsensual It was unwanted and that he was guilty of misconduct. And I remembered somewhere on the interstate pulled over just bawling in my car with relief. It was cathartic, to be completely honest. Every ounce of my being was awoken at once. And I felt like I came back to reality for the first time since that had happened to me. I was like, somebody sees me. Somebody hears me. Somebody understands that I didn't want that. And I'm not this person who was asking for it or this person who should drop the case and who should just leave it alone and be small and be quiet. I'm allowed to take up space and share that what happened to me is not okay. She advocated for me because she believed me. It was just extremely emotional. And then I called my parents. I couldn't even wait until I got home. And I was like, you guys have to see this. So I shared the email and I sent it to everybody in my circle. Again, my friends and my roommate. I was like, I could not have done this without you guys and all of your support. It felt almost as good as it did when he got arrested. That same overwhelming emotion. The Title IX investigator, how did you guys feel about that part of the process? That part was good. The worst part of it all is that the defense, the accused, he didn't even attend the Title IX meetings. He doesn't have to say a word. He gets to have a lawyer speak for him. And the person who's been assaulted has to do all the talking and keep retelling the story. And it's so backwards. That really made me angry. Throughout this whole process, he hasn't had to say anything. And Luna has to just keep repeating and reliving the story over and over and over again. And the attacker just gets to sit there and just be quiet. After the Title IX was won, Luna shared with us that her lawyer recommended potentially pursuing a civil case. What has that process been like for you? it never even crossed our mind. Honestly, we were just wanting her to report this to the police. So we wanted him to have some sort of punishment. But then our lawyer was like, you guys have a really good case here. They have done so many things wrong. And I really think that it would be wise for you guys to pursue this. And we're so angry. It was all fueled from anger of just how mishandled everything was. We talked about it and she pulled in a colleague of hers. We've been going through this process now since her freshman year and it's been really frustrating. The real frustrating part of it is that they're protected so they can't be sued personally. And so you have to sue the departments. So we had to like pick the people who kind of were in charge, which is crazy. Like, I feel bad about it. I know that the school and the insurance companies pay for it all, but that protection is such a racket. It's opened our eyes to so much. It also helps them get away with so much. Here's Luna. We got the results and it was just starting to turn into like spring. And it was the last couple of weeks of my freshman year. I got through it. My lawyer called me. She said, I'm really not happy with the way that the school handled everything. I did find out somebody did go ahead before me actually and report him too. That was still pending investigation So at that point he was a serial offender and they let him stay I had a legal restraining order against him where he had to stay away from me and they just let him stay right downstairs from me the entire time And then she brought up another really good point. I called the public safety office and they didn't answer. My attorney brought that up too and was like, that's just complete negligence because they're supposed to be 24 hours a day, seven days a week answering you guys, you students on campus. I'm pretty sure that was where we started. We filed for the lawsuit in October of 2024, a whole year later, because it took a long time to get all the facts and everything in order and exactly what we were going after, what we were looking to get out of it, things like that. We are actually still in a settlement lawsuit to this day, and it got a lot more complicated as time went on. It blew up on our local news channels and our school sent out a big email about it to all the students and was like, we know that there is a lawsuit pending against us. Rest assured student body that we will protect you. Our school is very big on safety. I'm sure a lot of people freaked out and were like, really? At this little school? I thought that going to the media was going to light a fire under them and that we would have a quick settlement and then I wouldn't have to deal with it anymore. But one of my friends told me in her sociology class that the professor printed out the article that's in the news about my lawsuit, handed it out in class, and used it as a teaching tool. She had them all go into like little breakout groups and go over it and be like, what are the facts? Do you think it's true? Do you think it's not? My identity is still anonymous at this point too. She said to the class, raise your hand if you know who the person is, and two of my friends raised their hands, and then she had them stay after class and ask them who I was, and they both said that they wouldn't say. Thank God. That was really upsetting because I felt like my identity at that point was being threatened. And I've already gone through so much at that school. That got back to my legal team. I told them about it and I had proof. My friend was amazing and she gave me the homework assignments, which had all the writing all over it from the teacher. She ended up talking to my lawyers with me and told them everything. And we had to send the school a cease and desist order to get them to stop. They ended up firing her, which really just makes you look bad. I don't know what she was thinking, but highly inappropriate. What if you had been in the class? That's what I'm saying. How do you know that it wasn't me and I'm not watching you debunk my story right to my face? I think that takes a very special someone to do something like that, especially a sociology teacher. The other thing was as soon as we filed the lawsuit, They fired the public safety director, too, the guy that never answered my phone call. So that made them look really bad, too. That felt like they were just trying to cover themselves up. That made me really upset, actually. And they just kept doing things like that throughout the entire process. Here's Luna's parents. The lawyer finally took it to the press because things were being so mishandled. to hear that they used the news article in a class as a homework assignment was like, what in the hell is going on? We were just shocked by this. So unprofessional. Could not believe it. She was so angry. I think it was like a Tuesday night. And she's like, I am just wanting to come home. I can't be here. I feel so violated. And I'm like, obviously, come home. So she packed her stuff and came home. And we reached out to her teachers. They gave her accommodations because she was dealing with so much. We had to go see her primary care doctor, had to start medication for anxiety. Her whole life has changed because of the mishandling of everything and the way that she felt so not just violated by this jerk Cody, but a school. But the thing is, is she's always wanted to go there. It was pretty much her top pick of schools because the program there is so good. They have such a success rate for passing the NCLEX exam. She's like, I just want to stick it out. I want to graduate from this school. Every year, the college has put out a clear report, which it talks about any and all crimes that happen on your campus so that, you know, if your daughter wants to go to this college, they can look at the clear report and see if it's a safe college or not. But they have nothing listed. That clear report listed that there have been no sexual assault on their campus in the past three years. and we're like, wait, what? And actually Luna texted us from school one day with a screenshot of this clearing report with zero sexual assaults. She was super mad. We know of at least five. They just brush everything under the rug. Here's Luna. I think I let denial take me a lot farther than I wanted it to. I also think I operated on autopilot for the majority of this entire thing. I wasn't in therapy. Looking back, I'm like, okay, girl, you should have done that right away. I went to like a couple sessions when it first happened, but I was just suppressing it and pushing it down. But then I noticed January of 2025, I'm an anxious person to begin with, but I started to get increasingly anxious. I was having a hard time sleeping. And this was pretty much right after we had to send the cease and desist order to the school for the professor saying all that stuff. I was just entering the second semester of my sophomore year, which is where my school starts their clinicals. And I knew how important sleep was going to be for me. And I was like, okay, I got to get my stuff together. I had a boyfriend at the time. I'd been with this guy like on and off. I think being with him made me suppress a lot of it too, because I was like, oh, well, I have a boyfriend, so I'm okay. Like a bunch of delusions that I was just trying to use to get through it. I was very like, I don't deserve good things. I'm disgusting because this happened to me and I let it happen. I was staying in a really unhealthy relationship because I was codependent. I had attached myself to that unhealthy relationship just because then at least I wouldn't be alone and I wouldn't have to be alone with my thoughts and deal with it. I was like, maybe I should go to therapy. I broke up with my boyfriend and then started going to therapy weekly. And that was when I started to realize maybe this actually affected me a little deeper than I'm letting on. I realized that since I wasn't processing what happened to me, I internalized a lot of it instead. I was just being really mean to myself and I started being really aware of the way that I was speaking to myself and the decisions that I was making. They were very hindering to my success rather than being helpful and fostering, you know, like a growth mindset. I learned a lot in a very short time about how trauma physically stores itself into all the parts of your body and it quite literally alters your brain chemistry. So I learned a lot about how to release trauma and I had to learn to stop with the negative self-talk because being mean to yourself is not healthy The more that I talked about it with a therapist the more I realized I didn't want that And so it's not my fault and I didn't consent to that happening to me When I shifted my mindset and really started to understand and believe that that was not my fault And that no matter what I could have done The outcome would have been the same because it was his motive to do that to me And if it wasn't me, it would probably be somebody else. I think that changed a lot of my self-esteem, which in turn changed the way that my life looked. It sounds like you were putting yourself first and doing the hard work, which is difficult to go through, but in the end can really be helpful. It's really true. I feel like I've lived 20 different lives since that happened to me because I've been like 20 different people. I think people underestimate the power of looking inward and the work is hard. And I'm still struggling, to be totally honest. But I think by accepting it for what it is, even the lawsuit and the entire way that the school handled everything, knowing that I have 100% given my all and done my absolute best here, I've done everything I could to survive, to protect myself, to protect my fellow classmates, to protect girls in the world from this happening. I think that takes a lot of the guilt away. www.shopify.nl Transcription by CastingWords Shopify powers millions of businesses with tools to build beautiful stores, create content, and market with ease. From inventory to shipping, everything runs smoothly. If you're ready to sell, you're ready for Shopify. Sign up for your 1 euro trial today at shopify.nl. That's shopify.nl. Fast forward May of 2025. Cody is criminally sentenced. Did you go to the sentencing? I did go. That was the first time I had seen him since he had gotten arrested. Could you walk us through what you remember about that day? It was really early in the morning, and it was in one of the bigger cities. The night before, I submitted my victim impact statement to my district attorney and my victim witness advocate. It was a good drive, and I went with my parents. I think that we had to be there at like 8.30 in the morning. It was terrible. That's too early to do something like that. But we got there. They took my family and I in and we sat in the courtroom. It was a really little courtroom. We were on the left-hand side. I think it was his mom and his grandmother were on the right side. There was the clerk of courts, the DA and the victim witness advocate, and then the judge. My attorney wasn't able to be there because she was out of the country. And I love that for her. I thought I was going to throw up when I saw him for the first time. he was wearing the same cologne that he was wearing the night that he assaulted me. I walked into the courtroom and I was like, holy crap. I could literally just smell it. So that was kind of triggering, which was something that I didn't expect. It made me really anxious and I felt really small again. I was back in that like powerless position. The judge read my victim impact statement silently. She looked at me and she was like, are you in therapy? And I was, I said, yes, because now I am. And she was like, I'm terribly sorry that this happened to you. I hope that you can heal from this. We ended up doing a plea deal. The deal was that he got two years of probation. Originally, he was supposed to get a year of probation, but I asked for two years because I have two years left of school. So why not have probation until I'm done with school? And then we'll both be on our way. We'll leave each other alone and that'll be it. And she accepted it and he accepted it. He got weekly check-ins with his probation officer and he got mandatory sex offender treatment and counseling and evaluation as well Does he have to be on the sex offender registry No he does not That was something that we pushed for too but unfortunately it just didn work and I don really know why But it was a really short process The entire thing really only went on for like 10 minutes. And then they let him go. He had to go meet with probation and I went to the zoo with my parents. And I had a great day. What did you think of his sentence? It was absurd. The only saving grace was that Luna wrote in her victim statement that she wanted him to at least be on probation through the rest of her college. So the judge actually changed the sentence and agreed with her so that he would stay on probation and stay away from her at least while she was finishing college. What do you feel like the school or police could have done differently? I will say immediately remove the problem from the campus. I'm not saying that he needs to be gone forever, but at least for safety reasons, just take him away until we investigate more and find out more detail. Had they had done their job the first time, my daughter would not have been assaulted because he would have been gone. But they didn't. They did nothing. They took part in it. That's the way I feel. Their negligence allowed for this to happen to my daughter because Cody should have been gone the first time. And then campus safety, what the hell's wrong with you? Answer your phone. They claim, we're here for you 24 hours a day, seven days a week. You just call this number, we'll help you. And to not answer their phone and then to say if you actually called. So lots of balls dropped. they give her a special accommodation parking pass to park in a closer lot next to the dorm recently she goes to school to park on the only night she stays there a week and they're like you can't park in this lot and she's like wait what no i have a special accommodation well there's games and visitors here and you can't park here and the parking lot's closed and everywhere we turn there's another like what the hell is going on what advice would you give to parents god forbid they find themselves in this situation. Research schools for your children before you send them deep dive. Just be there to support. Encourage them to talk and process and process with them and fight back. Don't just sit in silence. Go fight, run, talk. Make sure people are aware You're a victim. This happens and you can come out of this and you can be stronger and you can help people. It's not your fault. It's not your fault. We're still learning how to navigate this. It's not easy. How do you feel this has impacted her? She's definitely a changed person. She's always been a happy, optimistic, loving, trusting, nobody can do any bad kind of person. And now I think she's a little bit more cynical. She's been in sort of a long-term kind of relationship. She was with her boyfriend for on and off for five years. I know it definitely had an effect on their relationship and intimacy issues and trust. I see she's definitely developed some anxiety disorder. She does not want to stay at campus anymore. She has a room there. We pay outrageous amounts every semester for her to have a dorm that she literally lives in on one night a week because she has clinicals. But that's how her life is now. She's trying to navigate these new feelings and the PTSD, I think, around it. But I also want to say that I see that she's also so much stronger. I know she's in therapy. She's doing all the right things. I just want to see her succeed, graduate from this school that's so important to her, despite how horrible it's been to fulfill her goals, to go on to be an amazing nurse. She's talked about actually wanting to possibly be a sane nurse herself someday, working with sexual assault victims. I think that's a really big healing step for her to be able to help people who have gone through this. And I hope that she'll do that if it's not too painful for her. She's not afraid to talk about this, which is huge because I know so many people tuck it away and don't talk about it and they're ashamed or they feel like, you know, they did something wrong or they deserved it. She's just amazing. So I do see how it's negatively impacted her life, but I also feel like she is on a mission to do great things. I feel like she could be a public speaker about sexual assault. I've said, maybe you should go talk to college girls. I think she has so much strength to share with people. This horrible event happened to her, but it doesn't define her. She's still the same wonderful human being that she was before all of this. If anything, it just made her stronger a person and she's going to be amazing. She will do great things. I have no real worries about her. Undoubtedly going to do great things and is already using her voice to help other people. I can't thank you guys enough for doing the same and being willing to not only support her behind the scenes, but publicly as well. Definitely. I was super psyched when she told me she reached out to you guys. And we've been fans of your podcast for a few years now. So thank you so much for what you guys do behind the scenes. You guys are amazing and you help so many people and I really appreciate what you do. What is life like for you today? I'm in the best place that I've been in, in my adult life. I'm in therapy regularly. I've learned so much about not letting what happened to me make me who I am as a person, but rather using it as kind of a tool to navigate situations in my life. And I've used it kind of as a screening tool now to know what to look for in situations to keep myself out of danger. I was diagnosed with PTSD, which is crazy to say out loud. I haven't really said that out loud. But I had acute stress disorder right after it happened. And then my symptoms lasted for like six months or so. So then I fell into the PTSD category. This past October was actually two years since it happened. And the one year anniversary of the assault, I was in the hospital. I was having chest pain and all kinds of somatic physical symptoms. So I went to the ER. This year, I actually spent it with my friends and we went hiking. We had a really good day. I'm seeing somebody new. So that's been really refreshing to have somebody meet me after this part of my life has happened in this new mindset that I have with these new coping skills that I have. I'm doing really well in school. I'm almost in my second semester of my junior year. I have a really good job. I have an amazing group of friends. I've made so many more friends since this has happened. And I've realized throughout this whole entire experience that talking about it helps so much more than I ever would have thought. I feel like if I don't talk about it, it just sits inside of me and I want to get it out because when I get it out, it's not my problem anymore. So that's why I wanted to do the podcast too, because if there's anybody else out there that feels this way, it's okay to talk about it. There's nothing wrong with you for what happened to you. And there's nothing wrong with you for handling it in whatever way you handle it, whatever that looks like to you. Absolutely. We are so grateful that you are willing to share your experience with all of us And I think you should be extremely proud of where you're at and how well you're doing with your school and everything that you've pushed through. It takes a lot to do any of those things, let alone the collection of them together. Thank you so much. That means so much to me. It really does. It sounds like you've also had so many supportive partners along the way, which I have to imagine has helped your experience too, whether it be your parents' support or the RA's support, your roommate. I just love hearing that from survivors. Like Mr. Rogers says, look to the helpers because that can restore our faith in humanity a bit too when we see the people who show up along the way too to help amongst the tragedy. Next time on Something Was Wrong. I had decided to study theater my second semester of school. Cato, who was the person that abused me, was the first person in the department that I met at all. He was inappropriate with all of his students, truthfully, especially like his female students. But with me, whenever he wasn't being paternal towards me, he was really angry. He asked, did you get an email from Title IX? He asserted that Morgan was trying to destroy his life. Rihanna told me that she had really, really bad news and that she didn't know how to say it. I asked her if it had to do with Cato. I told Rihanna, we have to report this. And that's when I got introduced to UCO's Title IX office. It has completely eroded my sense of trust and my love for something that was a crucial part of me and such a big dream and goal. Associate Producer Amy B. Chesler Social Media Marketing Manager Lauren Barkman Graphic Artist Sarah Stewart And Audio Engineers Becca High and Stephen Wack Marissa and Travis at WME Audio Boom and our Legal and Security Partners Thank you so much to the incredibly talented Abayomi Lewis for this season's gorgeous cover of Gladrag's original song You Think You from their album Wonder Under. Thank you to music producer Janice J.P. Pacheco for their work on this cover recorded at The Grill Studios in Emeryville, California. Find all artists' socials linked in the episode notes to support and hear more. If you'd like to share your story with us, please head to somethingwaswrong.com. If you would like to help support the show, you can subscribe and listen ad-free on Apple Podcasts, Purchase a sticker from our sticker shop at brokencyclemedia.com, share the podcast with a loved one, or leave us a review. Want to stay up to date with us? Follow us on Instagram and TikTok at SomethingWasWrongPodcast. As always, thank you so much for listening. Until next time, stay safe, friends. Starting a business means wearing many hats. designer, marketer, manager, while chasing your vision. Shopify powers millions of businesses with tools to build beautiful stores, create content, and market with ease. From inventory to shipping, everything runs smoothly. If you're ready to sell, you're ready for Shopify. Sign up for your one-euro trial today at shopify.nl. That's shopify.nl.