It’s Been a Heavy Few Weeks. Let’s Talk About It | Sadie Robertson Huff & Christian Huff

Check my new driver's license. Wow. Driver's license reveal. You're cheesing. I was cheesing big time. Thank God I looked in the right place this time. Anyways, hello everybody. That was my intro. I thought we were still there. How do you casually come back after you've been gone for so long? I had a fun time to be listening to what was good. I've been some solid episodes lately. Happy Monday to everybody. I hope you're having a great start to your week. I hope it gets better from here. Me and Christian wanted to pop in and do a little podcast. I'm still on maternity leave. We'll still have some podcasts coming up that we pre-recorded, that my mom recorded, and is continuing to record that are so good. But I really felt like I wanted to come on and talk about just life because so much has happened in the past two weeks that I kept trying to write an Instagram caption and I was trying to squeeze all of these big thoughts into one little caption. Then I was like, okay, I'll do a video. Then I'm trying to squeeze all of these big thoughts into one and a half minutes. I was like, I literally host a podcast. Why am I doing this? Why don't we just talk about it? Here we are. Here we are doing it and talking about it. Here we are. I'm actually going to read the Instagram post that I made this week just to kind of, you know, catch up to speed on kind of what's been on my heart, the base level. And then we'll talk about just everything going on in the world and in our home because, man, it's been wild. But this is what I posted on Instagram. I said I'll keep it short and simple, but I didn't actually keep it that short. I realized after I wrote it, I said, I'll keep this one short and simple, although I really have a lot to share about the last two weeks of life, the last two weeks in the world and the last two weeks in our home. My thoughts are going to have to be on a podcast because Insta can't handle it. And here we are. Here we are. I actually typed that before we decided to do it. That was my accountability to myself. It's been very overwhelming, so much good and so much evil, so much darkness and so much light, rock bottoms and revivals all in two weeks in the world and in our home. My spirit is excited, but also exhausted. Does anyone else get that? And I really kind of want to unpack that idea that my spirit is so excited, but also very exhausted. And I think probably a lot of people feel that way too. So over the last two weeks in our home, the big girls got hand foot and mouth. I don't have to read this part. We'll just tell this part of the story. What I really wanted to read was that part, that there's been a lot of rock bottom moments and revival moments. There's been a lot of light. There's been a lot of darkness. There's been a lot of good. There's been a lot of evil in our home and in the world. And it's very hard sometimes to carry the weight of all of that when the world is going through so much and your home is going through so much, especially because we're seeing all this on social media and then you look up and you're still living in the moment that you're living in in life. For us, that's three kids and craziness and sickness and whatnot. That's craziness. So yes, excited and exhausted. We'll get to that. We catch up to speed in the last two weeks in our home. So you want to start? It's right after conference. Yeah. Well, there were some stuff that happened before conference too with like rhinovirus and all that kind of stuff. But the post conference, Haven was the first one to get hand foot and mouth and she went down pretty hard. She did poor baby. If you all have ever had hand foot and mouth, that is just... Yeah. So we tried to kind of quarantine her. She stayed at Sadie's mom's house for a couple of days. We were scared that Kit was going to get it. Yeah, I want Kit to get it. It was quasi successful. Kit did not get it, but Honey ended up getting it. So we tried to quarantine her away, but Honey still came down with it and that did not go too, too well. And then right after they are kind of on the ups of that, you go down with a major brutal... Okay. Well, first it was so casual. It was like... It was never casual. Well, it seemed like it was going to be casual. And Christian has since claimed that I'm the queen of jinx and I do not receive that for my life. You are the... It's the... It's the... You are the jinxing queen. That's what he's been singing to me. Yeah. Yeah. Sadie's the... It's the... Which I don't necessarily know if I truly believe in jinxing, but I have just seen it firsthand. Almost every time Sadie says something, the reversal of that happens. But you know what I think it is? I think it's just me being an optimistic person, living in a tough world. Okay? Every time I say something positive, something negative comes back. Like literally... The opposite of positivity hits me in the face. So I don't know what I think about that either. I think you just need to be more neutral. Yeah, no. Maybe not. The glass is always full, overflowing, baby. Anyways... No, you went to go see your cousin. No, no, no, no. The day before, I took a nap. That's when it all started. Yeah. And then I woke up from the nap and I did not feel right. I was like, you know what? I'm still really tired. My head really hurts. Something's off. And so then that night, didn't really eat a lot for dinner. I was like, something's kind of off. And then I was like, babe, you're going to have to do bedtime. Like you're going to have to put the kids to bed because I feel so sick. I just feel so nauseous. So I was laying down. And then finally, after everybody went to sleep, I finally like, okay, start throwing up. Everything's not going well. And so I'm like, okay, stomach bug. Manageable, right? So I have a stomach bug. I had fever, throwing up all the things. Well, then I go to the doctor the next day and test for flu and COVID because I also had like body aches, chills, fever, all the stuff. And thankfully negative flu and COVID. And she's like, yeah, I think you just have a horrible stomach bug. And this is where the queen of jinxing started. I said, oh, yay. And she said, yay. Like the stomach bugs, so not yay. Like you're clearly really sick. I said, yeah, but that's just 24 hours. At least I'll be done with it today. That's where the kicker happened. Three, four days later. Yeah. So I was like, the flu would be done for a week. Something like I take it, like brutal for 24 hours, get past it, move on. Anyways, that didn't happen. I kept getting more and more sick. And then by that night, I realized I had mastitis, which if you've ever had mastitis, it is very painful if you know, you know, horrible. So I get mastitis. That's really bad. I continue to have fever and the stomach stuff just amplifies. So it gets to this point, it's like really bad. So the next morning I text my doctor again, hey, I'm actually like worse today, ironically, and I have mastitis and all this stuff. And she's like, okay, you probably need to get a shot. And she was like, I'm going to give you a shot at like three o'clock. Well, I'd try to make it till three o'clock by one o'clock. I was so, so, so sick that I was like truly worried about myself. So anyways, call the doctor and they're like, yeah, you actually need to go to the hospital. Then I called my OB doctor because I just had a C-section six weeks ago. And so all that was kind of maybe into the question and my mastitis. And he said, oh, no, like I'm omitting you to the hospital. You need to go now. They're going to have a room for you. All stuff. So I get to the hospital and things get way worse, but the drive to the hospital, you were so scared. Well, yeah, because you, you kept being, you look like you were about to start passing out. That was really bad. So we're on the interstate, you know, got the hazards on. We're going pretty fast way above the speed limit. And you, yeah, you're just out of sorts in it and you're just not. Yeah, it was really bad. So then we get there and I like can hardly stand up. They're like, do you want a wheelchair? We'll, we'll then the hospital. And I get up there anyways. Things just get bad. So anyways, that night didn't get better. And finally the next morning they changed my antibiotics and I got a lot better. So once I got on two different antibiotics and all the different things and all the fluids, crazy enough, even with all the fluids I had, I still was dehydrated. That's how crazy it was. You weren't necessarily better than next day. And it wasn't better, but I was like, it was bad. Okay. It was pretty bad. So yeah, I really, there's many details that we will, we're leaving out for your sake. You don't need to know. We're living at many details. That will never be shared publicly and really not even probably. That was for whoever happened to be in the room. Christian, he said, he felt like he was taking care of an old person. I felt like I was at the assisted living, like the assisted care. It was really, really bad. Nursing home. And so yeah, and he kept quoting our vows to me and sickness and in health for better or for worse, which was comforting, but also that was pretty bad. It was like the most sighted thing on top of the, which we think it was probably E. coli, honestly, it just was a really bad combination. And so anyways, that was kind of what's been going on in our, in our life the past two weeks that made life so crazy. Oh, then after the honey gutter UTI. Oh yeah. And then that happened too. But whatever. There was a million things that I just felt like never ending. Like you could not catch your breath. Like it just, one thing truly after another. And so that's all like happening in our home and not to mention just like having three kids and transitioning to that season of life is so busy. You know, we're still like trying to figure out our routine and bedtime and all the different things that just make life full and make life busy and whatnot on top of constant sickness and can't catch a break and hospital and breastfeeding and still pumping and all the things that just made it kind of feel hard. I remember whenever we started low and I had all the what ifs, what if I fail? What if it isn't where I need to be? And looking back, I can see so clearly that God had his hand in the whole thing. Starting something new is exciting, but it's also very scary. And that's why I'm thankful for Shopify. Shopify is the commerce platform behind millions of businesses around the world and 10% of all e-commerce in the U.S. from massive brands to tiny startups. 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Now on top of that, we're in the hospital and we're watching Charlie Kirk's funeral and we're thinking about all the things that have happened in the past two weeks that have just been so heavy for the world. Like obviously with Charlie being killed, that was devastating and you're just seeing this act of evil happen. That can just, it was just really eye opening and everyone saying we're all Charlie and that's true. That could happen to any of us. That is part of counting the cost of Christianity and speaking truth and what that looks like. That was just a really sobering moment I feel like for us. That was a really hard couple of days in our home watching what was happening and then the response from the world and just the mockery and some of the most hateful things that you've just ever seen. It was just a very eye opening week. Then I'll unpack this because we're throwing out a lot at one time but we're watching this funeral happen and obviously it's like, whoa, there's a revival taking place. We are sitting here watching some of the greatest leaders and the biggest leaders in the world worship God. So that's amazing. And articulate the gospel. And preach the gospel and be unashamed and you see what Erica did with just boldness and bravery. And so I say like to say, sitting here the past two weeks trying to understand what's happening in the world. Oh, and let's not forget to mention everyone thinks the rapture is going to happen. And so you're on Instagram and it's like, the rapture is happening today's the day. Tomorrow's the day. It didn't happen. It didn't happen. Because no one knows the day or the hour. But when everyone starts talking about it and there's this anticipation that this might happen and Jesus is coming soon and this is what you need to do. And this is what you need to do. And we're going full force. And if you're not on this train, then unfollow me and blah, blah, blah. And everything's just like, ah, and I'm sitting here just like, I don't even know if I'm going to be able to make it to the bathroom. You know, like honestly, like you're dealing with like real life. Where's my diaper? I say that to say, like you're dealing with like the mundane annoyances of life and like the real reality and gravity of the world. And that is what I want to talk about on this podcast, because I think everybody, maybe not everybody, but a lot of you probably feel that way. You're going through your 24 seven, you're having your highs, you're having your lows, but at the same time, you're carrying this weight and not not even weight in a bad way, but this reality that man, there is a spiritual war at hand. There is a spiritual war at hand. That's real. Jesus is coming back. Is it today or tomorrow? I don't know. Could it be a thousand years from now? Absolutely. But there is a reality that he's coming back and we are in a fight of good versus evil. And so how do you balance it all? I'm going to be honest with you. This podcast is not like I have all the answers. It's not even that I even know what scriptures I'm going to turn to. I'm a Bible open, haven't planned one scripture to turn to or read. We haven't discussed what we're going to say. I have three screen shots. But but I just wanted to open up the conversation because when I posted on Instagram and on Facebook, many of you said I'm feeling the same way. You know, like I'm excited for this revival. I'm also exhausted. My kids have the flu. I have the stomach bug. I'm in college, you know, just, you know, going through the hard things in my everyday life and trying to ask myself, where do I fit in this revival? Where do I fit in this spiritual warfare in this good versus evil fight? And hopefully we can unpack a little bit of that for y'all. Before we start unpacking a little bit of that for y'all, I will read one scripture that I turned to because whenever I got home from the hospital, honestly, I felt so exhausted and we're laughing now and smiling. But it was a very hard week. And I'm normally, like I said, glass half full, overflowing. I can normally make anything bad sound positive or like pull out a message from it, kind of push through it. And I didn't really feel that way in the hospital. Honestly, like there was a moment Christian came in, I was just crying and he was like, are you okay? I was like, this is just really hard. Like it's just really, really hard. And I rarely say stuff like that or get that way. I'm like, it's okay. I'm okay. God's good, you know, but I was just like, honestly, this is really, really, really hard. And I still felt that when I got home from the hospital and I kept wanting to make an Instagram post and part of the reason I couldn't make it is because I didn't really have anything super great to say. I didn't have a message spun. I didn't have this like great inspiration for what I had just gone through. I didn't have the words or even the what I felt would even been the right tone to share yet. And I just felt like the Lord was like, just sit with me. Like I'm not asking you to do something. Like you don't have to go make some posts, you know, every video I tried to make or post, I was just like, that's just not honest. That's just actually not how I feel or kind of where I'm at right now. And so anyways, I sat down and I opened my Bible and it was amazing because I'd worship playing in the background and it was the song, This Is The Air I Breathe. It's just like so peaceful. And as soon as I opened my Bible, I just started crying. And I think it was just because I had been like scrolling Instagram, like seeing all these other people post such amazing things. Like all of these Christian leaders were posting like such great things about what's happening in the world and like so many encouraging things about this revival. And I've been feeling like I need to post that, like I need to say something. But yet also, how do I do that whenever I'm hurting right now and I'm tired and all this stuff. And so when I sat with the Lord, I was just like, I just felt like living water, like so refreshed, wasn't like scrolling in stream, trying to like keep up with this thing. I was just trying to sit with the Lord. And I think that's, that's like a beautiful thing because I wasn't like, how do I get on board this revival? But like, God, I just actually need you to revive my soul right now. And I think that's kind of how you carried the weight of like the world and your home or how do I be a part of this revival in the world and this revival in my home. It's like, you have to be revived first, you know, like to be in the revival, like your spirit has to be like revived. And that doesn't come from like the pump up of somebody else or the hype of a situation like that comes from living water that comes from God himself. And so it just happened out of my Bible Psalms 22. And it said, why have you forsaken me? That was like the title. And I know it sounds like dramatic because God didn't forsake me. Actually, God was like so kind to me. They were in the hospital. There's like a rainbow over the hospital. They were at home. There's like a rainbow over our home. Like God's presence was so clear. But also just heaviness, you know, so I just read it and I just like, wow. And it starts with saying like, God, why have you forsaken me? And then verse three, it says, yet. And I love that. I love when the Psalms say yet because it's like turning the page. Like, yes, this is hard yet. You are still holy. And then it talks about how Israel like trusted in God and he delivered him. But then this part made me cry because I was holding kit when this happened. And I had been like, you know, like I said, pumping the whole time I was in the hospital and like feeding her. And that was like a big priority to me, even though it was really hard. But I just wanted to make sure like she was fed with my breast milk because for those who know about like breastfeeding, there's so much nourishment in that. And so many like, you know, antibodies and all the things she needs. And I've been trying to keep her well and her not sick. So I wanted her to get that. And I read this in verse nine. It says, yet you are he who took me from the womb. You made me trust you at my mother's breast on you was I cast for my birth and from my mother's womb you have been my God. Be not far from me for trouble is near and there is none to help. And that just got me because it was like, you made me trust you at my mother's breast and David is like reflecting on this idea that like when I was an infant and I could not take care of myself, you establish trust in me because every time I was hungry, I was fed. Every time I needed something, you provided exactly what I needed. And here I am like as a mom and through the fight of sickness and through the fight of spiritual warfare and through the heaviness of life, like I was going to make sure no matter what kit was fed, you know, like that was my main priority. And in the midst of all that kit did not know what was going on. She didn't know anything other than that. She had what she needed exactly when she needed it and she's well. And so I just was thinking about that man, like God's establishing trust in her right now through even this moment that she's well provided for. And I just spoke to me so much and like, wow, God, you did that for me. Like you do that for me. Like through it all, you fight to deliver me. You know, you have already fought to deliver me. Like you, you have everything I need. Like I trust you God. And then when it says be not far from me, for trouble is near and there is none to help, I was thinking about how many people in the world feel that way right now. There's like lack of hope, like, oh man, like there's no one to help. Like so many bad things are happening. You're looking at the news every day and it's like headline after headline of bad news, bad news, bad news and all this stuff. And it's like, where is our help? Well, the only help we have comes from the Lord. Like the only hope we have is in Jesus Christ. And so, man, that just encouraged me so much. And then I turned the page and it psalms 23. The Lord is my shepherd, of course. And it's like, the Lord is my shepherd. I shall not want. He makes me lie down and grim pashers. He leads me beside still waters. He restores my soul. And I was just thinking about how I just felt this need to like keep going, like be a part of this revival, like be in the moment, like say the right thing. And it's like, no, actually it's okay if you don't have that yet. Like the Lord could actually lead you to green pastures, like lead you to the place that you need to lie down, because you might need to restore your soul before you can keep going on this journey. You know, before you can keep walking, you got to have your soul restored. Every word I read, it just spoke directly to me. And it was just such a reminder to me that in times like this, your word is a lamp into my feet and a light into my path. Like that is, that is the thing that's actually going to get me through this. And so that was the exhausted part of my spirit. But the excited part of my spirit is that I do believe we are seeing a revival. Christian and I couldn't believe what we were watching. It was like years for years. Yeah, the memorial services is one of the most incredible things I've ever seen. It really was. I mean, it was, yeah, I mean, two hours of worship before it even starts. It seemed like longer than two hours, you know, as people were kind of starting to come in and yeah, just the worship from people there, you could just feel it through the screen. Like it literally felt like passion conference or it felt like, you know, something like that. It just was, it seemed like such a holy moment. And then getting to see some of the leaders of our country, you know, like JD Vance or Marco Rubio, and even some of the things Tucker Carlson said were just unbelievable. Preach the gospel. Preaching the gospel to, I mean, people are saying 100 million people tuned in on Sunday. And that's not even to mention those who have watched after or conversations that have been had from that. And it's just, it's yeah, it's just remarkable. I mean, JD Vance said, I haven't spoken this publicly about Jesus Christ. I've talked more about Jesus Christ the last week and a half and I have my whole public life. Yeah, like just the impact that people had. And like that, like that is unbelievable. And then not even just that, but like what happened from the memorial service? It seems like so many people on social media are like sharing more. I've seen like people even doing videos, forgiving people that like killed their family members because Erica modeled such a beautiful thing. So it's not just like, oh, that was a cool moment. It's like the ripple effect of that really is revival. And I don't even, I mean, it's not just that. Think about all the things that have been happening on college campus this year, like unite things and the bad disms. Even after Pebblefield passed away, I feel like we saw such a revival in people's lives. Like there's just been like a lot of public big revival like moments, having people like really think about life and what's after this life and how they want to live their life now. And it seems like more and more people are actually coming to Jesus. Yeah. And that's the tough thing too. You know, you can't have a revival without having opposition. That's just going to come with it. You know, you can't have, that's what we're saying, right? If Sunday went on, the revival of Sunday would not have happened if Charlie Kirk went out and been, you know, killed. So it is a it's just the heaviness of the fallen world that we live in. And, you know, a life as Christian, I think here in the West too, we don't really have a category for suffering. You look at the New Testament, you look at the Old Testament, you know, God's people, you know, suffered. If you look at the New Testament, you know, take up my, you know, take up your cross and follow me and there's persecution. You know, everywhere you look, right? In the New Testament, that's the stoning of Stephen, which a lot of people compared the stoning of Stephen to Charlie, which was cool. They were both 31 when they were martyred for their faith. It truly becomes a catalyst for a move of God. And it's, you know, it's tragic. It's sad. It's a torpor of the watch, but it has been cool to see what God's done in it over the last few weeks. It's like the true example of what the enemy took for evil. Like he took and made something good come from it. And yeah, just the impact that that has made has been really cool. And one thing that I wanted to say about revival, because maybe you're looking at this and you're like, OK, where do I fit in revival? You know, maybe you're like, OK, that's for the church leaders or that's for this person to do or that person to do. But how do how am I a part of it? And I think when a nation is like revived, it's that it's a nation. It's everybody like we're all a part of this. And that's what I really wanted to say to everyone on here is that, like, if you're looking at this and just scrolling through it, don't just scroll through it and scroll past it, like realize something. You can be a part of it. It starts with a revived spirit, like I said, and how to really revive your spirits to give your life to Jesus Christ. So if you're listening to this and you're like, OK, I am so interested in this spiritual thing happening in our country, but I don't know what this means. And I don't know what this is. Essentially, if you know John three, sixteen, that is like that. That's kind of like the base of why we all get to be a part of this revival for God, the God of the universe. Love the world so much that he sent his one and only son, Jesus Christ, to die on the cross for our sins. And if you believe that and if you actually believe Jesus Christ came and died for your sins and you won't perish, you'll have eternal life. If you believe that Jesus Christ died for your sins, went back to heaven and one day is going to come back and get you. Then one, if you believe that in your heart and confess that with your mouth, you can be saved and realize like you're a part of this, like you're a child of God. You had a savior who died for you. He went back to heaven and then talk about the rapture. One day he's coming back. So you're you're a part of that. And what does it look like now? What do you do with that? Well, the Lord says the greatest. Jesus says the greatest command is to love the Lord your God with all your heart, soul, mind and strength and to love your neighbor as yourself. He also gives us the greatest. I mean, the Great Commission, the end of Matthew and he says, go make disciples of all nations, baptizing them and then with the Father, Son and the Holy Spirit teaching them to obey my commands until the end. And so I think in the simplest form, what do you do with all this? You love the Lord your God with all your heart, soul, mind and strength. And when you love God with all your heart, soul, mind and strength, it's going to change the way you live your life. It's going to change the way you talk to people, the way you look at people, the way you post, the way you write captions, the way that you walk into a restaurant, the way that you go about your school life, the way that you parent your kids. And then if you love your neighbor as yourself, you're going to start changing the world because you're going to love those people around you. It's going to change their life. You're going to invite them into this revival. And then three, you go make disciples. You teach people about Jesus. You read this word and you don't just read it and meditate on it. You let it flow out of you and you teach other people. And that's not that's Jesus didn't say to all the pastors, love Lord your God, all your hearts, whole mind and strength, to all the pastors, love your neighbor as yourself, to every pastor out there, go and make disciples. You know, he said that to everybody. That was that was his command to everybody. That was a broad command to everyone who's following him. And so I think to simplify what it means, what do you do? Because I think so much of it, we're like, what do I do with the rapture? What do I do with the survival? Like he says what to do. And it's really as simple as that. And I think one thing Charlie Kirk did really well is he loved the Lord, his God with all his heart, soul, mind and strength. He loved his neighbor. He loved his family so, so beautifully. And he also made disciples. You know, he went out, he taught people the word, he unpacked things. He set with people who were different than him. He reclined at the table with centers, if you will. And he spoke truth. But and that is what impacts other people. That's why we're all looking at Charlie Kirk. We're like, OK, why did his life leave such a mark? It wasn't just what he said. It was how he lived, you know, how he lived, loving God, loving his family, loving his neighbor. Yeah. I think the thing that was so cool about Charlie was that, yeah, he really could have dialogue with anybody and everybody, people that were different than him, that had different beliefs than him. I mean, it would be really hard for me to have a like a level headed, honest conversation with someone if I knew that they hated me. You know, like I just, I could sometimes it's hard enough to have conversations with people that, you know, think the same thing as you do, but they're just maybe being mean or something like that. We're just like one disagree. I feel like sometimes you're talking to another believer and you know, a differ on something that can be like annoying. But like having a a open dialogue conversation with with someone that hates me and like can't stand me. Like there's so much grace in that. And there's so much, I mean, humility in that, you know, and some of the conversations that he had with people that were different than him and that couldn't stand him. It really challenges me to, yeah, to not be so comfortable. I think sometimes we we just love being comfortable. We want to, you know, talk to people who think the same way we do. We only want to spend time with people that, you know, that that agree with our beliefs. And I think something he modeled really well, which is honestly what Jesus did was, yeah, reclining at the table with task collectors and senators. You look at Zacchaeus, you look at all the people that Jesus hung out with in all the Pharisees and everyone were so confused why he was hanging out with these people. And then Jesus was, you know, accused of being a glutton and a drunkard just because he spent time with these people. And I think that's what's really cool about Charlie and his life was that he made space and he he reasoned with people, which is what Paul did in the synagogues and in Athens and Paul reasoned with the people. And I think that was really what Charlie did. That was so fascinating to me. That really left a mark on me was just how do you have these conversations with people that disagree with you? And I think he did it extremely well. I agree. And I think one thing about the funeral that was very convicting to me. I told Christian I was so inspired by the by the memorial service for so many reasons. But I also left like convicted in my own faith. And I was like, OK, this is a man who I didn't realize like his security team and police would literally tell him before he went out at times like we cannot ensure your safety, you know, and then he would still go. And to be honest, like that has been a really big fear for me. Like public speaking is scary and not for the reasons that a lot of people are scared because you're scared to give a speech. I am personally scared because of security reasons. And I've been that way for a very long time. And so I have to really like work through my fear for those things and always like check the safety boxes and all the different things. And the fact that he would go anyways, even without saying that, just really speaks to like how much he believes it. But then on another level, what really spoke to me is how like Erica, who is a mom to two kids who just lost her husband, who has every reason in the world to not walk out on that public stage when she stepped in there, like just knowing what she's gone through. Her husband just passed away. She has little kids. She 100 percent did not have to go up on that stage. And she also did not have to be the CEO of the company. I think if it were me, I would feel so much fear in that moment. No one like my husband just died because of this, like so much is crazy. Like I'm just going to stay home, be with my kids. Like we're going to go hide. We're going to go like be protected. And honestly, every one in the world would be like, that's great. Like absolutely do that. Like just be just be still, be be quiet, be with your family. That would have been the tendency I would have probably wanted to have. I was like to just like just hide, honestly, out of fear. But the Lord clearly has called her to something. The Lord clearly has put this spirit in her and this determination, this drive. And the fact that she's saying yes to that was such a act of faith and bravery. It like took my breath away. I was like, wow. And I just asked myself, like, would I be able to do that? Like, would I have enough faith to do that? And I was just thinking like how if you're going to really follow God, whenever Jesus says, like, pick up your cross and follow me, the magnitude of those words and why it really struck the disciples at the time is like when he says pick up your cross, they know what crucifixion is. Like they had to see that. Just people go through that. And so they know when he's saying that, that means like you might die for this, you know, like you actually might die for this. You're going to have to pick up your cross and follow me. And I think in my life, I have to ask myself that question. Like am I dying to myself? Am I willing to pick up my cross and follow him? Because even in the smallest things, I should be honest. This morning I went and I picked up some muffins for our team. And as I was leaving, I saw this homeless person and I felt the Lord say, give them a muffin. And honestly, like the first thing I thought was like, no, because that's scary. Like that's risky. Like what if they, you know, have because, you know, people say like they might have a weapon or whatever and normally like if I'm not with you, I get kind of scared of that kind of stuff. And I was like, this is ridiculous. If I cannot stop the car and give this person a muffin, then like what does it like? Where is my faith? Like what? What? Where is loving my neighbor? Like I'm not I'm going to let fear that something might happen, keep me from like doing something the Lord just asked me to do in loving my neighbor. So I stopped, rolled down the window and I was like, hi, do you want a muffin? They're like, yes. And I give them a muffin like God bless you. And then they're like, God bless you. And it was so sweet. And I'm just like, okay, God keep giving me moments like that and simple obedience to like just strengthen my faith. One thing I posted on Instagram recently I just like can't stop thinking about is the mustard seed revelation. I have to read this to you all because it really is so cool. My friend texted me and she was like, have you ever heard of what a mustard seed really is? Like the real meaning of it. And I was like, I mean, I guess not because I've heard people talk about mustard seed all the time. But I mean, nothing like that crazy besides like the smallest seed and it can grow into big tree and all stuff. Plants, deep roots. But this is so cool. So it was like the singing instrument. And it said, we haven't told the meaning of this verse wrong. I just learned the true meaning of what a mustard seed means. And so it goes through Matthew 17. A desperate father brings his son who's tormented with sickness, seizures falling into fire and water. The disciples try to cast it out, but they fail. Jesus rebuked the spirit and heals the boy instantly. The disciples asked, why were we unsuccessful? And Jesus's answer is eye opening. He says, because of your unbelief, if you have faith as a grain of mustard seed, you will say to this mountain, move and it will move and nothing will be impossible for you. But his disciples had faith. They had been walking with him. They saw miracles. So why was their faith not enough? And why would Jesus say faith like a mustard seed if that only meant a tiny amount of faith when he just said, you don't have enough. So this is where something always felt off about this, as it was explained to me, the person said, she said, we've always heard even the tiniest faith is enough. Just little faith is enough to move around. But the Bible never says small like a mustard seed. It says faith as a mustard seed. And there's a big difference. If the disciples already had some faith, then why did Jesus say that still not enough faith? This is why this verse confused me until I found out what the mustard seed truly is. In the first century, the mustard plant was invasive. Once it took root in the garden, it spread fast. It crowded out and destroyed other plants. It dominated the soil until it owned the whole field. It was feared by farmers because it couldn't be controlled. It became massive and it was impossible to get rid of. So when Jesus spoke and said, have faith as a mustard seed, his listeners at the time did not hear tiny. They thought uncontainable, invasive, dominating and unstoppable. This is the kind of faith Jesus was pointing to, not just fragile or small. Once planted, it spreads into every part of your life. It is unshakable and unwavering. It does not politely coexist with fear and doubt. I needed that. It overtakes uproots and destroys lies and systems of this world. It takes full authority and establishes God's kingdom. This is not tiny faith. That is aggressive, consuming, crazy, mountain-moving faith. Y'all, that got me fired up. I was like, Lord, give me faith like a mustard seed. Because that is so what I need in my life. I feel like so often, I have faith, obviously. I preach the gospel everywhere. I love Jesus. I'm always telling people about Jesus. But there are parts in my life, like I said this morning, when I'm like, go get that person a muffin, where it's like fear is like, but what if something happens? Or it's like, hey, go speak here, but what if something happens and I don't want to leave this? And blah, blah, blah, blah. And it's like, no, God, give me like, uncontainable, like invasive faith that truly spreads into every single part of my heart and in my life to know that you really are who you say you are. You've called me to what you've called me to, and the Holy Spirit resides in me, and I truly do believe in the hope of heaven. And I was just thinking about that when I saw Erika. I was like, that is mustard seed faith. That's all consuming your whole life for the gospel. Yeah, that's so good. No, I mean, her response was, I mean, it was incredible. It truly was convicting. And I think that's the thing too. You think about Charlie Kirk in his life, and whether you loved what he did, whatever he was doing, or you disagreed with him or whatever. Because that's really never, I posted this on Instagram after he had passed away. I had never really watched his stuff before. I didn't know until like, yeah. I mean, I'd seen his stuff on social media, and I just, I never really just took the time to kind of watch it. But since he passed, I've just been so intrigued with it, and I've watched so much of his stuff, and just the things he was doing was unbelievable. And that's what I'm saying too, whether you disagreed with it, or whether you didn't love his style or whatever. The man was 31 years old, and his memorial, his funeral, was watched by over 100 million people, and they all heard the gospel. And I just think that it's so, like it's just mind-blowing to think about someone who was 31, did all the things that he did. His wife forgave the person who assassinated him in a public event. And that message of the gospel is heard, her forgiveness is seen, modeled by 100 million people. Like just, I think, I don't know, I think sometimes it can just be like, that was really cool, but if you actually think about that, it's insane. Did you see Jimmy Kimmel's response, then like crying, talking about how powerful that was? I was just thinking about that, like, you know, we're so quick to be like, even with someone like Jimmy Kimmel, who showed up canceled, you know, because of what he said, and it's so easy to, as a believer, be like, you know, like, oh yeah, like justice for that, whatever. And yes, justice, but also like, do we also believe for him, you know, to that God can actually move in his heart, and that the Lord, that he would be repentant, and that the Lord would forgive him, and that he would also be revived in a part of this revival, and come to know the Lord. And it's like, can we rejoice in the fact that God's moving in his heart, you know? I feel like so often, it's like, oh, did you like Charlie? Did you not? Did you like Jimmy Kimmel? Do you not? And it's like, hey, we're talking kingdom, you know? Like, we're talking kingdom working. Yeah, and I think too, since his passing, you truly have seen light and darkness, right? You truly have seen people that have mourned the loss, that have celebrated the funeral, and that have openly talked about it, but then you've also seen people who have celebrated his death and made a mockery of it. And it's so blatantly demonic and evil that I think right at a time where, in your descriptions, the people love the darkness more than the light, and I think you really are right of crux in history where you truly do see light and darkness, and as a believer, as a follower of Jesus, walking the light, as he is in the light, we have no part of darkness. We cannot take any part in the Bible says that we wrestle against flesh, we don't wrestle against flesh and blood, but against the principalities. And I just feel like you've seen that so evident the past few weeks of just darkness and just demonic spirits, and as believers, you can have no part in that. You, we are a kingdom, we are a part of the kingdom of light. And 1 John 1 talks about walking the light, as he is in the light. Are you pulling out 1 John 1? I did. Wow. Same page. You were talking about that. I was like, that's good. I do think when we're speaking to the times we're in, and you ask yourself, what can I do? I talked about what to do to come to know the Lord, what to do with the fact that we're in Bible. Love God, love your neighbor, make disciples. I think what you cannot do is be lukewarm. Lukewarm's out. Lukewarm's always been out news flashes in the Bible. The Bible says, and it's pretty harsh when it talks about lukewarm Christianity, but I think for whatever reason, we coexisted with lukewarm for a long time in our country. Like we don't want to ruffle any feathers. You don't want to, it's like, no, actually, there is really a battle of good versus evil, light versus darkness. The kingdom. There's not that middle space. Like it's, you're all in, you know, you got to be all in. You know, you didn't do much of school grown up, but, you know, like the, is it? Boom, roasted. Which I said that, but is it a Venn diagram where it's like the, it's like the two circles and then like the overlap in the middle. Oh yeah. Is that called the Venn diagram? Okay. Venn diagram. Well, like in the Venn, you know, Fair point. Fair point. Thank you. Well, I'm saying the Venn diagram in the middle spot, in the middle's part, that was kind of where the lukewarm, you have, you know, light, darkness, you have, you know, flesh, the spirit, but now it's like they're so, it's just separated now. There's no, there's no middle ground. There's no gray area. It's black and white. It's just, you can have anything to do with it. And I actually posted first John after his passing to not only just first John one, but I encourage everyone listening after this podcast, go read the whole book of first John. It is just, it's, it's so prevalent to the times that we're living in. First John one five says this, this is the message we have heard from him and proclaimed to you that God is light. And in him, there is no darkness at all. If we say we have fellowship with him while we walk in darkness, we lie and we do not practice the truth. But if we walk in the light as he is in the light, we have fellowship with one another and the blood of Jesus, his son cleanses us from all of our sin. If we say we have no sin, we deceive ourselves and the truth is not in us. If we confess our sin, he is faithful and just to forgive us of our sins and cleanses of our unrighteousness. If we say we have not sinned, we make him a liar and his word is not in us. So just to unpack that just a little bit, what God is saying is what John, what it's saying in first John here is like, God is light. And so if we're in him, we can't have any darkness at all because we get a walk with light. But then you ask yourself, well, how could I possibly do that because I'm human and he's a holy God? Well, I answer that because the blood of Jesus cleanses you of all your unrighteousness and making you able to be in relationship with God. So you don't have to lie and say, I don't have sin or you don't even have to feel shame and say, well, because I have sin, I can't walk in the light. No, you're human. You're going to have sin. Roman says for all of sin and fall in short of the glory of God. So it's not that you have to be perfect, but you have to come under the blood of Jesus Christ. So you got to repent. You got to repent before Jesus. You got to confess your sin. And then when you do, the Lord cleanses you of all your unrighteousness and you're able to walk in the light as he is in the light. And so, yeah, you actually can fully walk in the light of Christ. We don't have anything to do with the darkness. We repent and we turn. You know, there's that verse that people have been posting. It's like if your nation was like second chronicles and turns to me, I will heal their land and that kind of stuff. And a lot of this really does start with repentance. You know, it's coming to Jesus and saying like, I have sinned. I have fallen short. I need your blood. Jesus, help me to walk in the light as you were in the light. Rid me of all darkness. Don't let me live in the darkness. Confess that to someone else and then walk in the freedom of the light. Man, that is an invitation for every single person out there. And so, you know, I think to wrap this up, there's so much going on in the world and there's so much going on in your home and in your life. And I think hopefully what we have modeled is what it looks like to just have a conversation about it all. I don't think you're meant to just like wrestle with these big thoughts in your mind. I also don't think you're meant to numb them. I don't think you're just supposed to ignore them. I think that they have to get out. For me, I'm going to be honest, like there was a day where I just felt the Lord kind of put on my... I don't even make it even sound like spiritual. I knew for me, I did not need to look on Instagram that day because my soul felt weary and felt heavy and felt that burden to like do something or produce something. And so I was like, okay, resistant. Like resist that, turn to the word. And that's where I, you know, felt fed. And so don't just keep numbing it. Don't just keep scrolling. Don't just keep, you know, living in panic, living in fear. Don't keep living in sin. Certainly not. Like go talk to somebody, confess and go touch somebody, talk about your fears, get in the word, read the Bible. If you don't know what it says or understand it, get with a pastor, plug yourself into a church. This is not the time to be numb. This is not the time to be lukewarm. This is the time to lean in. And like I said, it's okay if you're exhausted. You can lean in exhausted and it's awesome if you're excited. Lean in excited. We get to be a part of history right now, y'all. That is very, very exciting to be a part of. We are, like I said, a part of a revival. And we're seeing things that no one I don't think has ever seen before. I mean, two mama and my grandma, she was like, I've never seen like anything like what we just witnessed watching that memorial with the leaders of our country, speaking the name of Jesus Christ and preaching the gospel. She's like, this is crazy. And it's really cool when you have generations, you know, around you who are 72, even 94, Mama Jo and going, this is cool. Like of all the decades I've lived, there's something here. It's hard. It's real. It's a fight. But God is on the move. And as a believer, we have anchored hope. And so I hope this encourages you. I hope we can kickstart the conversation for you guys as you're walking into it. And let us know your thoughts below if this encouraged you. We'd love to know. That's good. And last thing I'll say too, you don't have to have everything all together, your thoughts together, everything all polished. I think this is a testament to that. You don't have to have the answers to everything or have everything buttoned up perfectly. But just start the conversation. Yeah, talk to mentors, talk to friends and just have the open dialogue. Like what Charlie did, honestly. So don't think you have to have it all together or you have to have all your points polished to start the conversation. Just start talking about things that are bothering you, things that you're confused about and grieving and have the conversation start there. It's great.