Music Saved Me: Singer Songwriter Emily Cavanagh's Journey to Healing Through Personalized Songs for Life's Challenges

Music Saved Me. Welcome back to Music Saved Me, the podcast where we explore the transformative power of music in people's lives. I'm your host, Lynn Hoffman, and today we have a truly special guest whose work exemplifies how music can heal, connect, and give voice to those who need it most. Emily Kavanaugh is a singer, songwriter, and the founder of A Song For You, an organization dedicated to creating personalized songs for individuals facing serious illness, loss, or life challenges. What started as a simple idea to use her musical gifts, and trust me, she has them, to comfort others, has grown into a movement that's touched countless lives all across the country. Emily's journey reminds us that music isn't just entertainment, it's medicine. Through A Song For You, she and her team of volunteer musicians craft original compositions tailored to each person's story. This is so fabulous, creating lasting gifts that families can treasure forever. And today, we're going to dive into how Emily discovered her calling, the stories that have changed her, and why she believes everyone deserves their own song. So settle in and let's discover how music saved Emily Kavanaugh and how she's using it to save others. Emily, welcome to Music Saved Me. It's so great to finally meet you. Great to finally meet you. I know. I feel like we're old friends. I know. It's weird how that can happen, and even over a TV screen, which is still coming here. I was saying this a little bit earlier, but I listened to your voice, and I just find it to be so comforting and healing as it is. But then the material, what you guys are covering, I think I probably listened to your Jelly Roll episode three times, because I just found just the subject matter to be so compelling. So when you pair that with your voice, it's pretty amazing. What a huge compliment coming from a singer, not just a songwriter, but someone who uses their voice and heals others with it. So actually, I've never had that happen to me before. No, one time, another singer. I don't know if you'll know him, Leslie West from Mountain. Oh, I know him. Yeah. Yeah, he's not with us anymore, sadly, but I met him one day, and he came up to me, and he was like, you got the best voice I've ever heard. And I was like, really? You do. Well, in everything you did with VH1, I mean, obviously, yeah. You've been doing some fun things, you know, but yeah. But it's nice to be here with you today. Oh my God, it's a love fest. All right, we're going to have a little more of a love fest because we have to pay some bills. So we're going to do that real quick right now. And when we come back, it's all about Emily Kavanaugh next on Music Save Me. This is an I Heart podcast. Guaranteed human. No gloss, no filter, just stories, spoken without fear. A person who is not generous cannot be an artist. The world will be at peace only when it is ruled by poets and philosophers. Listen to my weekly podcast, the Pooja Bhachow on the I Heart Radio app, Apple podcast, or wherever you get your podcasts. Come for the honesty. Stay for the fire. Music saved me. All right, welcome back to Music Save Me, Emily Kavanaugh. Can you? First, this is such an amazing thing that you're doing. It's even bigger than I think that you even know. But can you tell us about the moment that you realized that you wanted to create personalized songs for people just to help heal them? And and what was that very first song experience like? Who did you write it for? How did it come about? Sure. Well, you know, I have to say, I think sometimes people are disappointed in this answer because the truth is probably all the best things that have happened in my life have kind of happened by accident. So I don't know that I would have set out, you know, to do what we've ended up doing these last five years, had the world not, you know, essentially shut down, right? So in the in the pandemic, I had been working prior to that, excuse me, as a singer, songwriter. So that was everything from gigging to writing music for, you know, small commercials and film and television to singing for seniors and a senior center on the Upper West Side to kind of basically, you know, gigging and touring, but being at the intersection for a long time of music and service. But I'd never really known kind of where that path was going to take me. I just loved being on the road. You know, I just genuinely loved like all of the many people that I got to meet through that work. But, you know, you go back now, it's crazy to think it's half a decade ago. But five years ago, the pandemic struck and I was on the South Side of Chicago, I live in New York City, but all my families in Chicago. And I was hanging out with my mom and my dad. And honestly, like that was the real silver lining of such a crazy time was like all that extra time with family, you know. But mom and I were binging Netflix, you know, eating all our feelings, drinking too much wine. I think I watched every episode of Schitt's Creek like three times. That show ever. And I just remember watching at the same time, the stories of patients on the television who were not going to go home, you know, people who were separated from their families who were isolated. It was happening the world over, but it was also happening big time in the city that I live in New York. And so I do remember feeling pretty helpless, if I'm being honest, for a moment. I don't know if any of us knew what to do. But I remember waking up one day and thinking, OK, you can't just keep drinking wine. And so I started cold calling hospices and hospitals and seeing did anybody need a song, you know, just out of the sheer belief and again, kind of accidental hope that maybe somebody would take me up on it. And if they didn't, that was OK, too. But as a singer and a songwriter with a background in social work, you can imagine I didn't have much of a skill set for that time. So this was really all I thought I could do. And initially, the response was kind, like people were very, very sweet about it. But I could tell there was a little bit of like that. You know, you just kind of know what someone's maybe thinking. And I sort of sense that they were like, we need like PPE, like we need a mask, not songs. I get it. Yeah. I measure songs from like this obscure songwriter in New York. But cool, right? Yeah. But within about three months time, I would say almost everybody called back, like every chaplain, every social worker, every nurse, every volunteer coordinator, you know, hey, we need a song for a nurse that's in isolation. We need a song for that's not going to go home. You know, we need a song for a couple in hospice that have been together for eternity, you know, for 50 years. But they're so confused right now, like they don't know what to do and their families can't get to them. And so what started off as this idea of just maybe sending a song kind of grew into what would end up being most of my work for the last five years. Wow, that is incredible. But your background and social work, I mean, was that sort of the impetus to make you just the first time pick up the phone? Because anyone can do that. No matter what your background, I don't mean that anyone can write a song and do what you do, but to help just to reach out and help. And it's amazing that you just decided to call. You know, I feel thank you, but I have to say, I feel like I can't take credit for most of the things I've done in my life in terms of like that impetus or like that heart is totally my mom. You know, like that's just like she instilled all of that in us since we were like little, little kids, you know, and the ability to sing. Like that was my grandma. The ability to drink too much was her too. So I mean, I heard a lot of different traits really in my life. But, you know, my dad, my family, like I grew up in a place where music was community, you know, like so we all gathered together. There's 57 first cousins, you know, what? I'll go. My mom is from seven. My dad is from eight. And it was like we would pile into a pizza parlor like today. They probably close it down because then no more pizza. Sorry. The cabin was like big enough to host everybody, right? So like we were together so much and that's when like people got up and they told stories, people got up and they told jokes, people got up and they sang, you know. And so for me, like music from a very early age was just like such a huge part of celebration and community and it just brought so much joy. And so I think that when I went on to pursue it professionally, it was almost like just sort of always chasing that joy, like trying to find that community again in my later life, you know. Well, you found it. A song for you is quite remarkable. And I love how you give credit to your mom and your grandma. And it's just it's such a lovely legacy. And it continues. Can you walk us through a little bit of your creative process? Like how do you take someone's life story, regardless of what it is? I mean, it could be extremely emotional, especially. How do you transform that into a song that captures their essence? So what's that magic that happens in that translation? Sure. I mean, it's so hard to pick like my favorite from the last five years. But I guess what I would say is there are two that have stuck with me just because I think that they like sort of speak to the mission. One is there was a woman out West in California and she really wanted to marry her sweetheart, like her longtime partner or boyfriend, you know, on Valentine's Day. Like that had been her dream. But obviously she was in hospice. And so there was a chance that like she wasn't going to make Valentine's Day and there wasn't going to be a wedding. And, you know, but we thought, well, there's got to be a way we can at least if for nothing else, write this song, you know. And so sometimes like they're born so naturally, like if people send us a lot, like they I'll get like a novel sometimes. Sometimes I get one word. It's like, OK, well, best of luck. But, you know, this this particular person had sent a lot about the love that that she had experienced. And so we ended up writing a song, Lynn, that was not only her story with her partner, but it ended up being the song that they did, in fact, dance to, like under a willow tree on Valentine's Day out in California. And she passed very shortly after. But like she got to dance to a song that like I almost sort of feel she wrote, you know, she sent to me. And so some of them just sort of happen. I feel like it's like you're like a sponge for someone's story. And some take a little bit more, a little bit more work. One more finesse. How I mean, that's that's a lot to take in, especially if they're I mean, emotionally, how do you prepare yourself to deal with some of these stories? Because they're really tough. Well, I do think I remember you talking to Jelly Roll about how, like, you know, he's such an empath and he kind of just like soaks it all up. And I definitely have experienced a lot of that. Like I dream sometimes about these songs or these these patients or, you know, I it's hard to not, you know, internalize a lot of it. But I also have an incredible community around me. You know, I'm so close to my family and my brothers and sisters and my mom and dad and my best buddies. And a lot of them are actually now a part of the of the charity. Not my brothers and sisters, but, you know, we have other songwriters now that have joined us. And so it's really nice to be able to say, like, hey, you know, what did you think about writing this one thing? And like we can kind of like bounce it off of each other and talk about it. Because, yeah, it's I have to say for somebody who is like perpetually probably annoyingly cheerful, it's been a very humbling. Nice to meet you. I was about to say, I feel like you get that. It's a blessing and a curse. It's a blessing and a curse because I feel sometimes, you know, if it's if you have a hard time finding that joy in your own life, it's really hard to be around people who can't help but be joyful even when they're not joyful because it's just a mechanism that you can't control within yourself. Yeah. But this has forced me to kind of tap into heavier parts, you know, like to like, definitely more like soulful parts and kind of like just sitting with a story and just observing and listening and like not really. I have to be honest, like it's a bit of an aside, but even as a songwriter, like I don't really write love songs so much anymore. Like I don't really write from my experience as much after this because I find myself being like so in tune with with other people's stories. So that's been sort of interesting journey. What's been the most emotionally, since we're talking about it, powerful response that you've received from someone after like sitting there hearing your song? I mean, are you sometimes able to be in the room or on Zoom or somehow with them when they hear it the first time? Because I would want to. It would be like giving someone, you know, something so special. No, it's a great question. We have so many incredible like hospices and hospitals that we write for. But I'd say the one we're writing for probably the most the last few years is a place out West called Hospice of the Valley and a big shout out to Lisa. She's our social worker extraordinaire. And so she's amazing. You would love her. And she basically started this early days of the pandemic where she would take the lyrics. So we always would send. Obviously, we were born in a time where we couldn't be in the same room with people. So we'd be sending MP3s. And we've we've maintained that even beyond like I'd love to be live, but it just didn't happen that way. And so we're kind of just following that, you know. So we send the MP3 sometimes an artist will send a video shout out. Sophie B. Hawkins sent one. I think Sarah McLaughlin might have said like people have sent them and that's been incredible. But always it's the MP3 and then the lyric is paired with it. So what Lisa started doing was printing and framing these lyrics. And so they would be bedside, you know, next to the patient so they could hear their song. And then they could have it framed. And so I've had a few people say like, you know, oh, we had to move patients so and so from this room to this room, you know, there's like not a maybe a ton of time left, but like they're much more comfortable. Like we found them a much better place. But they kept asking for that frame. Like they kept asking for that song, you know, like they wanted to read their lyrics. And so that was like so moving when I would hear those stories or even just hear Lisa's account of like being there in the room with a patient when she got to hear the song or, you know, hearing from families after the fact. Sometimes we don't know the families. Like we just know them through their stories and through these amazing first responders. But hearing from a family occasionally like, hey, it's been a year, but we still play this song. I just the idea that like somebody's legacy can be kept alive in like such a small way, but in this very tangible way has been pretty powerful. Yeah. We'll be right back with more of the music safety podcast. No gloss, no filter, just stories spoken without fear. Addiction is a disease and it should be looked upon as any other disease. How did you cope with a reckless father like me? Join me, Pooja Bhatt, as I sit down every week with directors, actors, musicians, technicians and beyond. You don't need to work with the biggest people and the biggest sound to have great music. I have gone through the sub city, Hachakar, reached the pinnacle, stung by the snake and I've fallen down again. Yeah, I am not writing actively anymore. And when I see my old work, it kind of saddens me. I'm only as good as the last shot that I gave. I'm gone, but don't shut the theater. The show must go on. Listen to my weekly podcast, the Pooja Bhatt show on the iHeart radio app, Apple Podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts. Come for the honesty. Stay for the fire. Welcome back to the Music Saved Me podcast. Music in and of itself, obviously, is powerful and I'm curious, you know, your relationship with music now after doing this. Has it changed now that you understand how much more it can heal in ways that maybe you didn't think of before? Has it? Is it any different now? And also, what do you think it is? Is it listening to lyrics about themselves? Is it listening to lyrics that someone else wrote, even if it was a song that wasn't about them? Is it the rhythm? Is it the the chord progressions? Like, what is it? Do you think that makes it so healing? There's like so many good questions in that. I'm sorry, that was a lot. That was a lot. No, I mean, that is like, I want it like my ADHD is like going a million. Yeah. No, so I can speak to like what what I hope is powerful for them is just this idea that like kind of the same as when it was born, like this idea that, you know, I come from a culture, you know, big Irish family where we celebrate life, you know, and so obviously, it's as painful and as hard as this time can be when somebody's about to pass or passing, like we find a way to make sure that they know, like, how much we loved all of these things about them, you know. And so I think what I've tried to do here, and again, in a tiny way, is find a way to say, like, thank you, you know, like, thank you for this amazing gift. Like, thank you for this thing that you shared. Thank you for this sharing, you know, wanting to dance under an oak tree on your wedding. Like, I think that when people can hear themselves in a song, you know, hear their story in a song, it's just sort of a powerful way to, like, witness that very story. And so my hope and maybe this is like I'm being idealistic, but my hope would be that, like, that would be, for me, if that happened, that would be such a peaceful way to leave the world, you know, knowing that, like, there was some kind of way that I had, like, moved somebody, you know. Yes. As far as, like, what they hear or, like, what sticks with them, I always feel like, we should almost have, like, a classification, like, you know, how there's, like, you know, you're a Leo, you're a Gemini, you're a whatever, Myers Briggs, you know, I always feel like people should almost be grouped by, like, what do you hear first, right? Like, do you listen to the lyrics? Like, do you hear the beat? Like, you know, do you want to move? Like, what, what is it that kind of, like, grabs you? Because I have so many friends who are like, oh my God, I just, like, heard that new song and, like, and then you're like, God, isn't it powerful? Like, all those words, can you believe that was about whatever? And they're like, oh, I didn't even hear the word. No, I was just, I was just grooving to the melody. Yeah. So I, so I never really know what patience here. It's, it's a great, yeah, it's a great question. Maybe it's something we should actually ask as, like, a follow-up to the families that could hear them, you know. Yeah, I would be interesting to know what, what touches them most, but I've always wondered that in general in music, like, what exactly is it? Yeah. For me, well, interesting. When I was a kid, it was all about the, the harmonies, the, the instruments, the crescendos, the choruses, all, you know, the voices, the sound. It wasn't the words, except if I was like breaking up with a boyfriend and I turned on Magic 1067 and they played Chicago's like, hold me now hard for me to say, I'm sorry, sticks. But other than that, it was always about that. Yes. And now that I'm older, it's, it's all about the words. I mean, the melody is there, of course. And I love things with string sections and stuff in them. You know, the more layers, the better for me. But the words definitely mean more now. And now I look back on some of those songs I loved and I realized, wow, I didn't even realize the sentiment behind these things. Right. Like what that was about, you know, or what that person was going through. Like that's the other thing. Fascinating. Um, you never know. I'll just one more story real quick about. Oh, please. Yeah. I'd like to call her my other co-writer, but, um, there was this beautiful, probably 15 at the time, 14 year old girl that reached out to us in the pandemic. And she was like, you know, Hey, I have this, this story I want to share. And I would love to see if somebody would write a song. Right. So she was one of the ones I'm talking about that like sent the novel and it was all about her, her dad and how, you know, they'd have a really very, very tight relationship now, but kind of growing up, it was a little bit bumpy. There was a divorce. There was all this stuff. And she, she didn't always know how to relate to him. They didn't always, you know, see eye to eye, but, um, but both God and music, like they shared, you know, so like that was sort of what kept them together. And she tells me just these beautiful accounts. I mean, like he was, uh, you know, he served for the Air Force or he did this or he did that or like he loved this. But the biggest thing she could remember was we shared a sense of music. Like we loved the same bands. And like the more that she knew that, the closer she felt to him. So anyways, she ends up sending me her, her story. I'm so touched by it to this day. It's probably one of my favorite ones that ever came in. Um, I wrote the song in like an hour, like it was so quick because I feel like Kayla, that was her name, like almost wrote it with me. Like she gave me so much and I could just see and picture her dad, you know. So fast forward to he ended up passing away shortly after he was about, he was about my age, I think at the time he was like 36. Um, the sentiment, like what, what she was able to share. And then what the song was able to do, she's still in touch with us to this day. And we actually just recorded, I hope she doesn't hear this cause it's a surprise for her, but for Christmas, we just recorded the song and it ended up being called, uh, singing your name. And the idea is like, even after you're gone, I'll go on singing your name. You know, and so that's actually going to be the song for our charity based on this story told to us through Kayla about her dad, Luke, and, uh, produced by my buddy, Scott Gerard of little feet and like recorded by these just amazing musicians and all thanks to, you know, just someone reaching out and saying, Hey, I have a story about somebody that I, that I love. Oh my gosh, I have goosebumps. That's so exciting. You have to record that when you tell her. Yes. That would be a big deal. Yes, please do. Um, I have a couple more questions for you. Um, what a lovely story and what an amazing thing that you get to do that you created yourself. I just think it's just, it still makes, what do you think music can do in that other forms of, of comfort and therapy cannot and, and what is your dream for the future for a song for you? Yeah. I think music sometimes speaks to things that we don't always have the words for. Like I think that it, um, you know, like these heavier things that are really hard to process. Like I think if you can process them in a song, like one, you're really lucky if you have that, um, if that's sort of your outlet as a, as a musician, but two, you're really lucky if that's how you process things. Cause I think it, I think it can, um, it's almost like a moment in time. Like it captures this really special thing, but then it can live forever, like well beyond any of us, you know, um, I also think on a more fun note, like it's the great, like, um, joiner, like it just joins everybody. Like, I mean, you can be a Democrat, you can be a Republican, you can live in, you know, the Middle East, you can live here, you can, and, and, and yet we can all be like bopping along to the same song. Like I, I've always found that so fascinating. Um, and so I think that that is probably its greatest gift is like, I don't know many other mediums. Like I love to dance. I can't really dance, but I'm obsessed with dance. We're talking Elaine from Seinfeld dancing or yeah. I'm not quite that bad, but like I'm the first to dance for like, I just, I last to leave, I love it, but like I didn't have that gift, you know, but I feel like people are moving together and it's really special or I love to go see my friends do comedy. Like that's an incredible, but I don't know anything like a song to be able to like link people so quickly. Yeah. And I even think about, you know, my own, like my own dad, right? So my, my, um, my mom was the teacher, you know, my sister's the teacher, my grandma was the singer. Um, but my dad is this great lover of music. I always call him like a secret singer. Cause like I'll come home and he's got like Patsy Klein records playing or he's got like, or, or he'll have the voice on, you know, and I'm like, I've never seen the voice dad and every week he's like, who's going to win, who's predicted to what their story is. Like he's amazing. Like he just, and I, and I think my brothers too. Like I, it's really interesting how sometimes you don't even, um, there's so many ways that we're so different, but then like these things that join us, like as a family, we share a sense of humor. I think we also share a sense of like the role that music has played, uh, in our lives. Yeah. And you know what you just said so beautifully is, um, and I'm going to reverse it. Um, we, we all have more in common than we don't. Yeah. That's so much more alike than we know that we realize when we look at it as differences, but I would say that we're probably more alike than we, we even know. I wish that was my answer. That's really good. Oh no. Your answer was perfect, but, but it said that in the opposite way. So, um, and that's, and it is true. I mean, things that we all love together, that we can all have a talk about and we can all communicate about from different angles. That's totally separate from things that separate us. And in a time like right now, when I feel like we are probably more divided than ever, which sometimes like the idealist in me gets a little bummed out about, to be honest, I do think like music is still like you're all at a concert, dancing to the same song. Doesn't matter how you voted. So true. Like maybe remember that, you know, it's true. And, um, Emily, how can people find Emily Kavanaugh if they need a song? Okay. So how do they find you? Great question. So we are, we go buy a song for you. We always will, cause that's how we were born and we were named after the Donnie Hathaway song and like such a special story to how, right? Amazing. But we've also elevated or tried to like grow, you know, now that we're our own official charity. So our charity is called Song For You Foundation. And recently we were told that we should probably operate by songforyou.org because there's another, we didn't know this, but there's actually a for-profit, we're nonprofit. There's a for-profit company that sounds like clowns and face painters in and they're called a song for you. So we're being very... Emily is not going to show up in full clown makeup. I don't want to disappoint you, but I can't clown. No clowning around. This is serious business. All right. So we'll always sort of go by a song for you, music initiative, but song for you foundation. And so you can find us at songforyou.org. And if you just want to hear some of my music as a singer, songwriter, um, Emily Kavanaugh, and that's, you know, on Spotify or iTunes or just Emily Kavanaugh music. Awesome. All right. My last question for you is Emily Kavanaugh, did music save you? I knew you were going to ask this, which is why I have a whole roll of toilet paper. So glad. Okay. And we're laughing. Okay. All right. Cause I was like, this is going to be your Oprah moment here. Um, it did. I would say when I think about the things that make my life up, it's first my family, it's then my friends and many of my friends are like my family now, right? And then it is music whiskey somewhere in the mix, but it's definitely music. Um, now we're off the wine. It is only like one o'clock in New York. Um, but I would say in my own experience, so these last five years when my health changed, and I know, you know, Buzz had shared some of that with you. I stopped walking for a while, um, lived through a very crazy time in the pandemic. You know, that was mainly due to long COVID and then, um, was recently diagnosed, uh, with a blood disorder and kind of have been, you know, going through various, um, have an amazing team of doctors and amazing people in my corner, but I've definitely had to sort of feel the shifts of what happens when something happens out of the blue like that. Um, and all the while, you know, looking after my mama who, um, herself was diagnosed with leukemia last year. So I think that when things get heavy, like when things are light, I always know where to go because I have all these amazing people and like these incredible places. And I think when things get heavy or hard or they surprise you or, um, they come at you like life can do as you get a little older, though I'm forever to 29. Um, I turned to music. I do hope that, and I always say in some small way, because I'm not doing anything that's going to change the world, but in some small way, I hope that the ways that I've been saved and been able to feel such joy through this very medium, um, I can bring to other people. That's a beautiful sentiment. And I'm going to tell you that, you know, an act of kindness, whatever it is in any myriad ways is it does change the world. So I'm sorry, but you, you know, what you're doing does change the world. So thank you for that. And I'm, I'm sorry that, uh, you've had some heavy stuff come down on you. And it, the fact that you're willing to share that with people who now understand that they're not alone, um, is, it's invaluable. And I can't thank you enough for doing that. I didn't know, um, that. We have our mutual friend in Buzz. Buzz. Yeah. Yeah. No, but I love is, um, taking a walk podcast, which I, ironically, I joked like I couldn't walk for a while, but I'm so glad that we took the walk after the fact. So I am so, yes. Five guests. But no, I have to tell you, like one thing that's been amazing is the perspective, you know, being in and out of the hospital. Um, and I'm okay now, you know, I've got it kind of sorted and I will live with this the rest of my life, but I'm like, I know what to do to take care of it. So, but at the time when we still weren't sure what was going on, I have, I have to tell you, it was wild to be in and out of the hospital, writing for people in and out of the hospital. And the perspective that it gave me like was immense. Like I really, I used to say like, you know, every day is a gift and we all say that, you know, and I, and I believed it, but it was a bit of a latitude, but like now it's just like, I feel that in my bones. Like every day is a gift. Yes, it is. Isn't that interesting? As we get older, those little sayings we always say, we don't really realize how they are, what they really mean until they affect us. 100%. Yeah. And I've never met more, I think, than it, than it does now. Sure does. Well, love to mom and the whole giant Kavanaugh Irish family. I have been, I've been to many Irish wakes. So I do know how much you celebrate life and it's an amazing thing. And you always, you're very funny. So you always kind of keep that humor, even though life can throw you curve balls when you least expect it. And you gotta, right? Yeah, you do. So lovely to meet you. And thank you for taking the time. Oh my gosh. Likewise, Emily Kavanaugh. Thank you for being on Music Save Me. And I can't wait to catch up with you again very soon to hear all the amazing things that you're doing. That's changing the world with your music. Thank you. Thanks, Lynn. No gloss, no filter. Just stories, spoken without fear. A person who is not generous cannot be an artist. The world will be at peace only when it is ruled by poets and philosophers. Listen to my weekly podcast, the Pooja Bhachow on the iHeart radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Come for the honesty. Stay for the fire.