Thank you. Good afternoon, Dr. Clendenning. How are you doing today? I'm good, the Michael Labersi. How are you doing today, man? Awesome, man. We're back on Disruption. I am super happy to be here. It always feels like we take forever off of filming these episodes when we really don't. And it feels like a lot happens in life. And I don't know, like these episodes are great anchor points to be able to discuss what I'm hearing in the world, what you're going through, what you're hearing in the world, two coaches' perspectives, two battle-hardened entrepreneurs, and two veterans of life passing along these experiences. I got one for you today, man. I got a good one for you today. So you ever sit there, like, because you've been doing a lot of work, have you ever sit there and realize you're having an internal conversation with yourself that you think the rest of the world is having a conversation with you and you think that people think the way you think they think and you know you've got this whole situation in your head and you look around or you interact with somebody and they're like hey what's wrong with you why are you so snappy or why are you so happy or why are you so sad like you ever have that happen where you're having a total this total it could be days or a couple weeks where you're like, hey, man, I'm just having this sort of monologue going on in my mind, and it's not real. You ever have that happen? Constantly. And that is the, for me, the easy button is that's geographic, is a little bit, because I am, yeah, because I am crazy rural. I have chosen in my life to be incredibly rural, which means I operate in a silo a lot of where I am. And I'm a big proponent about getting around other people, having conversations with other people, getting in a room with people and doing that so that the internal conversations for me take hold when I'm alone. And unfortunately, I'm alone a lot of working in a silo of what I'm doing. So that's when those they take over and sometimes they just run amok. It's not that I'm well, I don't want to say that I was going to say it's not that I'm allowing them because the reality is, yes, I am. um to do that it's just i'm making the choice to let my imagination take off with that thing in whatever direction it's going to go whether that's the i'm having a conversation because i'm really mad about this one thing and i've got this other person in my head that i believe is having a conversation with me it's not even me arguing with me it's you know it could be anybody that's in there right anybody from your universe that you know you're having this actual conversation on the other side and you're letting it play out like a movie so we've all had it everybody gets it and it totally does and it defines the state in which you're in you know am i happy am i mad am i pissed off at something am i frustrated um it's because of the internal conversation 100 of the time well that's pretty impressive because I had the same thing too. And I am, as a parent, I always reference being a parent because right now in this phase of my life, it's, you know, outside of being an entrepreneur, parent to young kids, they're involved in different things. And I've got to interact with different leaders in their life. And I've got to make sure that I actually have these conversations. And what I do is I have a dialogue in my head that about reactions they're going to have, right? And it's ironic that you and I created a communication app. This isn't a pitch or a segue for it, but it's ironic that we have a communication app for this kind of problem, right? We get these internal dialogues out of our head. But for those of you, this is not an app pitch. I'll bring that up in a minute here about our webinar. But I like to go down the road of like three or four different days of different versions of different conversations. And I like to play it out. I like to script out my, when I kind of realize I'm in a monologue, I try to start to turn that monologue around into a beneficial self-reflection on why am I thinking this? Why am I allowing these emotions to overrun me? Why am I, why am I even, why am I allowing this to tense my face, to make me flinch, to make me happy, to make me sad, because I want a result, you know, and something's bothering me. Something's clearly bothering me if I'm trying to control fictitious conversations in my head, right, when you say? I'm not bothering you in a bad way. There's a topic there. There's something you're trying to get out of your psyche earnestly, and it's not fulfilling because you don't have that other person to dialogue with at the time, or you're reflecting on a situation where you should have done something differently, and you're still fighting with that person in your head, right? Mm-hmm. 100%. So I don't think it's normal, but how do we put that to good use? Or do we? Do we discard that? Do we not build walls? Do we not have these scenarios? I mean, do we just say, why am I doing this? Let me list some facts. If I have to have a conversation with somebody, or if I have to deal with this, if the situation has been resolved or it's over and you feel unfulfilled emotionally how do you put that to bed i mean the conference let's say you had a argument with a co-worker or a spouse or something like that it's been resolved there was a solution i'm mutually agreed upon solution but yet you're still you're still arguing and you still are bringing up counterpoints in your head four or five days later and all happens the conflict been resolved why why why does our subconscious dig up what we should have done How do we get rid of that Or is that necessary Do we get rid of it Do we go through it I mean we not speaking of that I say it circumstantial Whether, you know, if you've got something that's unresolved, like that's literally where that is. If you're still bringing up counterpoints and you're still running down that direction. Self-unresolved. Self-unresolved. There's something in there that you think is unresolved. You didn't win in the conversation or it didn't go the way you wanted it to or whatever the case may be. You're still frustrated or you're still trying to figure out, you know, how could I have made that a better outcome? There's some self-reflection that can be done in there, but there's a certain point at which you're just like, OK, I got to put this away. I'm not doing anything with it. There is a tool. There's an NLP tool. We've talked about this. Man, it's been a while. I bet you it's been more than a year since we brought this one up. But I talk about it more often than not. So there's a, in NLP, in one of the segments of NLP that follows Hawaiian culture, they call it a ceremony, but it's actually the way you do it. This is a real word. Look it up. I promise you. It's called Ho'oponopono is what this is called. Honest to God, it's a real word in Hawaiian culture. So this is a forgiveness concept. so there's a little bit of this that there's a way to arrest the conversation to just put it away put it in jail be done with it and it's a forgiveness piece and basically there's a whole piece and if you guys want it reach out to me I'll send you the the seven minute audio that you can play and it'll walk you through there it's kind of like a lead meditation piece the short version is seven minutes the long version is 18 somewhere in there but if just reach out to us, I'll send it to you. You can have it. The idea is for you to have the conversation. It's fine. Have the conversation you need to have, but you need to finalize the conversation. And to finalize the conversation, the phrase is fairly simple. I forgive you. Please forgive me too. Whether there's anything to be forgiven or not, that's not the point. Okay. The point is this does a certain thing through, through neurochemistry to your brain. It puts it away. It puts closure. It puts a box around that conversation and it puts it away. So that the phrases, I forgive you, please forgive me too. We repeat it three times. There's a, there's a little bit of a thing in the connection of actually severing that conversation and letting that person disappear in your mind. And it puts the conversation away. It literally just puts it away. It's not that you like, I'm not having a conversation with Mike and go, you know, hey, Mike, I forgive you for this thing. And Mike says, OK, Jake, well, I forgive you for that thing. I'm not asking you to do that. This is the internal dialogue. This is how you put it away. Whether you're arguing with yourself in your head, you're arguing with self-doubt in your head, you're arguing with your wife in your head, you're arguing with your business partner in your head, whatever it's going to be. This is the segment, right? I forgive you. Please forgive me, too. It's a way to put it away just so that it's not taking up free rent in your head. Well, I think it's powerful. And I think words matter. Actions matter. Deeds matter. And so does resolution, right? To have – you're only allowed so much space in your thought process and consciousness. this. If you're off topic and you're focused on something that happens in the past or something that, you know, again, remember this is conflict. This, this conflict has been resolved and you're still battling with it, or you have yet to even unearth what's going to happen. It's good to clear the space. This way there's no presupposition on what's going to happen. You need to be open and, and, and you need to free up that mental space so that you can absorb information correctly, not through a lens that you shouldn't be absorbing information through. Even if you are one of these clairvoyant people like I am a little bit where you kind of know what's coming, right? You still want to absorb the information. Otherwise, there's no release point. There's no point to be able to work beyond. And if you're a person that's harboring, how are you going to be open to new information about later in the day? You know, if you're harboring at 8 a.m. some bad issues or bad juju and you're having these dialogues, well, how are you going to be present for your clients or your workload or your coworkers or your subordinates or your writing or your posting or your impact in the world? How are you going to be open to that? And not everything is about this immediate gear switch. like a lot of us entrepreneurs and a lot of people in the world, we all kind of take one hat off, put another one on like within 30 seconds. But if you're not careful as an entrepreneur, if we all aren't careful as an entrepreneur, as a human being, we kind of have these internal dialogues really clogging up the background and our psychology, right? And all of a sudden, we're down a path. I like that release technique. I love it. You know, I was recently in an argument with a friend of mine over um something as nil as uh what did i say something about uh trailer i misunderstood that where his family had a house somewhere i was like oh man uh i talked called it a trailer park because i thought it was in a a um vacation trailer park guy goes off on me like dude i've stayed there before i i don't know what the what what are you going off on me for and why did you take so offense you know he blew up and i was like man i carried that around with me for a little while wanting to you know fight back with the guy and i'm like wait a minute it's like oh you're overreacting not me right and i'm better off not talking about it right and it's i forgive you you know or can you forgive me and three times it doesn't matter what version version of that you're saying, it does work. You can release it. You can clear it and be good with it and realize, hey, it's not always on me. And hey, I'm doing the best I can to try And that sometimes in and of itself is freeing Right Agreed So the other spot we were talking so this particular forgiveness piece is about closure on a conversation that happened or something that should have happened This is the secondary piece Now there the other piece coming into this and Mike alluded to it is the I getting ready to have a conversation right And I preparing myself for a conversation that I have to have so there's you know we built a tool for this for one there's a pitch for the app is this is exactly why we built this particular tool is so that you can role play the conversation out in the specific format designed in this so that you can do this so you can practice it now here's the trick to this one when you're having these pre-conversations in your head when you're rolling through this you okay, when Mike says this, I'm going to say this. When he goes down this road, I'm going to go down that road. And you're building this quote unquote script in your head. You got to back it all the way up, right? You got to back all the way up and go, what, and you have to ask yourself this question. What is the result I intend to get from this conversation? What's the outcome? What, where is this conversation going? We can't just go into it, a fight for fate's sake, right or a you know conversation for what's the outcome that's the question what is the outcome the comp of the conversation i want to have in the end and you don't be vague like don't do that well i needed to be a win-win conversation that is such crap coaching um is it is it true from a base design standpoint yes but that's not a result right that's not a result you have to get to the end of the conversation and go, I'm looking for closure on this particular subject such that I understand where they're coming from, whatever it's going to be. Get specific about what your outcome is. And then when you go into the conversation, start with that and go, hey man, I've been thinking about this conversation a lot. And by the end of this, here's what I'm wanting to get out of it. Like set the stage, set the platform up of where you want to go in this conversation. Start with an understanding, some clarity and some agreement in order for you both to get there. because if you just go into it and you just start having this conversation, it's going to turn into whatever organically it wants to turn into. And you may not get the closure you need to by the end of the conversation, which then leads you back to having to do ho'oponopono later because you're like, oh, I should have said this, or we should have done that, or I wish I would have. If you start with the expectation and you get mutual understanding in the beginning of where we're going to go with this, then you're going to get there and you won't have to have this forgiveness conversation later. I like that. And I like the clearing your mind thing. When you say back all the way up in results, notice if those of you that are listening at the beginning or if you're just tuning in now, we talked about clearing your mind. When you are real specific on a result And you are real specific because sometimes you've got ongoing engagements. You have to have macro results, micro results. Micro results lead to the macro results. Micro results lead to the accountability for the macro results. You've got somebody that you're doing co-working with and on a big project or joint mentoring with. And the micro wins lead to a harmonious working relationship, which lead to the macro wins, which are monetizing your engagements, fulfilling customer needs, delivering impact. That's the win. But if your brain is cloudy and you're not clear on the results, you can't win everything. You can't lose everything either. Win-win is not really win-win. Win-win is not lose-lose. It is, okay, I understand your point of view, understand my point of view, and we're winning because we understand each other. That's win-win. Now, resolution is one level up. All right. I have this version. You have that version. You've opened my eyes here. However, even though you're saying this particular strong point of view, I can see that that point of view is not going to lead to the next win that I'm looking for. Now, based on that, that's a separate conversation and that's what we communicate back and forth to one another. You'd be surprised when you're really dialoguing with somebody. This could be 30 seconds. This could be 30 minutes. Understanding bigger picture things, macro micro, really helps with the thought process because when you actually boil it down, emotion mostly drives these conversations. Not Not everybody is as well prepared as people like us to have a conversation. That's why it's always dangerous to get into an argument with people like us. We understand what we're trying to do. And we understand people need to be heard. And it's amazing when somebody gets heard the difference in fluidity about the result. And I'm sure you've heard that. Now, real quick, man, we're getting on in time here. Let's talk about our May 13th. That's in a few weeks. Yeah, we got a clinic coming up on May 13th, 12 o'clock Eastern Standard Time. You can get all the cool and groovy stuff if you register for it ahead of time. Check out the link. Go to the website, total-disruption.com. Mike and I are teaching a master class, clinic, webinar, pick your poison of the word that you like the most. But we're going to be live teaching about this communication model, teaching about the CRG method and how to use the app to be able to drive that. So a lot of what we've talked about here in the recent months is this communication layer. And the reason for that is really simple. Wow, I just sounded like I'm going through puberty. The reason for that, that was something. Excuse me. So the reason that we've really moved down this particular path, we chosen to march down this particular path is because we absolutely recognized a gap And it a gap in and we seen it in a lot of spaces we seen it from the ceo to the l1 level that leadership just not communicating with first level managers and on down right human resources is not communicating with employees employees are not able to communicate well with clients and customers retention is way down we've also seen sales conversions really tanking because of a lack of the the lack of the customer being heard mike said it earlier right they're not being heard they're not there's not a connection there's a lack of rapport uh we've we've chosen to march down this road because this is the gap plain and simple that we have seen over a number of years and it's getting bigger is the is really it's always been there. We've talked a little bit about it, but it is so recognizable right now. This is why we're talking about this even in your head of the communication gap has gotten so much bigger with the advent of the convenience of text and email. And we talked about this in the beginning of the show of being in a silo, right? I work very independently a lot. I'm behind the screen a lot. and I spend a lot of time working on my own without either supervision or someone to supervise or someone to talk to. And it requires so much effort for me to continue to hone my communication skills because it's not a matter of, hey, I was a great communicator three years ago, therefore I still am today. That's not true. If you don't use it, it's a muscle. You don't use it, it will atrophy. So that's part of what we're doing with this is the interesting part, we go back to AI, and I know I'm prattling a little bit, but I want to preface this a little bit. Yeah, so when AI first came, when AI first entered the business scene, right, came onto the business platform, everybody, and I mean everybody, Mike and I included, said, awesome, this is a great tool to be able to use teach it to sound just like me to reach out and call people and set appointments for us that's what we all jumped on the bandwagon and tried to get it to do car wreck total car wreck in trying to get it done and what we what we have decided needs to happen is we need ai to help us to get better as a training tool for us as human beings to communicate so there's the irony Right. We're using the technology that gives us permission to be lousy communicators. Use the technology to help you be a better communicator. So that's a little bit of what this is and what we built out of the app. Do you have to use the technology? No, you can 100% go back to old school and 100% go back to old school. and you can use the basic tool in order to follow along a conversation and practice role play with a live person. Gosh, think about that. How amazing would that be if you could actually talk to a people and role play and get better? But the tool is there for that. So that's the gap and that's the why we're doing this is because, man, that is just what we're seeing from a communication gap. Well, I'm also seeing a flip. So shout out to my boy, Phil Holloway with Go Green. Go Green. At York County, PA. He's an awesome guy. He's got lawn and landscaping, all about soil health. And the guy's an educator. Check him out. Check out Go Green on Facebook. He came over to my house and did about probably $2,000 worth of work in terms of seeding, soil, everything else. I mean, I'm a big, like, lawn curb appeal guy. And he really, from a care perspective, now I've known Phil for 35 years, but from a care perspective, he really cares. And his company is amazing. He told me that his social media presence and his educating has helped increase his business. But what he also told me in interviewing his customers, no one calls anybody back, like competitor-wise, right? And everyone is tired of being handled. Now, again, industry specific. Everyone's being tired of being handled by AI agents and bots and everything else. There's a phone. There's a person. You know, his company has that touch. It's not a massive company, but it's a small company, but it's not a one-man shop. I mean, the guy's got some people there, and it's a real business. So he's not a solopreneur at all. I mean, he's got a small business. So that tells me when you have a boots on the ground business that's really tied into a person's emotions, having that ability to communicate, having that accountability. Yeah, okay, leverage your AI. Use it for certain things. It's fantastic. Marrying the two is essential, especially in your demographic. I'm definitely sure in his demographic. I spent four or five years in New York County, probably about 30 years ago or so, 40 years ago or so. And it's a demographic that requires the personal touch. But then again, so is everywhere else, right? You're going to run into it. It's good to have options. It's good to leverage technology. But to sit here and run away with AI? To be afraid of AI? No thanks. So you got any AI things as we close the door here on this episode, Jake? I'll go back to the gold standard for what we've mostly built. Input equals output. Whatever you put into anything is exactly what you're going to get out of. The old quote, which most recently we've seen it come out of John Wick 4, show me how you do anything, I'll show you how you do everything. I can't do it with a French accent, but that's the point. Show me how you do anything, I'll show you how you do everything. It's the same with any input versus output for AI. Awesome. Well, for Dr. Jake Lendang, my name is Michael LaBersi. You were just live on Total Disruption. Now it's your turn to disrupt.
