#175 - Dina Hashem

Take my money. You, you and you, gather in the name of chicken. For thou shalt not eat alone. The KFC popcorn bucket. 60 pieces for £5.99. Get the deal. Believe in chicken. KFC. Available until 17th of May. Subject to availability. Participating restaurants only. Not available on delivery. See website for full season sees. Switch to Plastnet's award-winning fourth fibre from just £22.99 a month. Our sweet deal gets you fast and reliable broadband with no activation fee. With speeds up to 900 megabits. Ooh, feels like a sugar rush. Full fibre that's full of value. That's a plus. Offer ends 6th of May. 24 months, 26.99 from the 31st of March, 2027. 30.99 from the 31st of March, 2028. New customers only. 62% UK availability. Time's a ploy. Hoppa! Welcome everybody to Stavis World. 904.800 Stav. Call in. We'll solve all your problems. We have... Is this the first time you've done this podcast? No, I did it like years ago. I think it's the last... Oh, sorry. So I like... I did it. I think you did the like, Twitch version. Like the pandemic version. Yeah, exactly. Yeah, and I think that's the last time I also talked to you. It was on that podcast. No, no, we've texted to try and get you all on the podcast. Oh, that's right, that's right. All my relationships with my friends from 10 years ago were like, hey, can you do my podcast? No, I can't. Can you do my podcast? No, I can't. What about... And then like, don't talk to them at all. Five months later, hey, can you do my podcast? There's like, so many people. It is so funny doing open mic comedy with the same people. Cause you... We honestly saw each other. There was like 40 people, 40 to 80 people that you would see one to nine times a week for five years. And like, you know, I still talk to maybe like, I don't know, 12 of them. You know what I mean? We're not going to do it now because it would be, there's no worse podcasting than us remembering open micers 10 years ago. We'd be like, hey, remember that guy? Oh, we can spend a whole hour doing that. And I would have a blast. That's honestly Patreon exclusive. Like we got to get, we got to get like a round table of like six of us to be like, dude, what about that guy? Oh, he's got cancer now. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh yeah, it's get sad. By the way, it gets sad. That game gets sad because like the ones, the us that's had like the ones that achieved their dreams, our lives are bad. Oh, totally right. Compared to like, okay, my life is good obviously compared to most, if you compared to like a fat idiot from both, like if you take my stats, my life is good. But when you compared to like the other people making this amount of money, I have the worst life. Like doesn't think about comedians. We will be the saddest, worst, whatever, whatever we achieve in the room, we're the biggest loser of whatever room we're in. Right. You know what I mean? Like, except maybe, I don't know, there's probably some like, honestly, maybe full going full circle, maybe those open micro, like maybe some of them have achieved a certain zen happiness. Oh, I know people who left comedy and they're the happiest they've ever been. And I'm like, I need to do that. I need to just start a family. I think Jordan Pierce is right. I just need to start a family. I'm so sick of pursuing ambitions. It just gives me anxiety. It just upsets me. Like, I don't know if you ever feel that, but like. Oh, of course. Yeah. No, cause like for me, it's the opposite where it's like, I'm like, wait, every time I succeed, I'm more depressed than ever. It's never enough. It's never, like, it's like, everything's repeating itself. Cause it's like, I feel like I learned this lesson. And then you get another round of opportunities that you don't say no to. And then you're like, wait, I thought I knew not to do this, but. Because it feels like if you say no, it's never going to come again. Exactly. But who cares? That's, you know. That's where I'm at. You know, I just want to be like, you know what? I mean, I've totally changed. I'm like, I'm a drummer now. I really came here to say, I want to transfer my career. And if you have a bit. You're trying to transfer credits? I am. And if I could, I'm so honest with you. If I could transfer all my comedy credits into a drumming career. Anybody has like a successful and moderately lucrative band and you need a drummer. I'm here to be like, I can play toxicity now. Oh hell yeah. I'm doing my rudiments. Toxicity, nice. It's not. Yeah, thank you. What about the drummer for like, what if you went like, cause we, cause I've been playing a lot of casinos this year. And I think maybe the most successful, but the only successful bands are cover bands. Yeah. What if you were like in a, like, like whoever's doing Prince cover band, there's a guy that we've seen his poster on like five different casinos. Oh my God. So I don't know. Maybe you could, or maybe. That's a little depressing, but yeah. Listen, you're trying to get a, you're trying to become a blue collar. No, I'll start there. You're trying to become a blue collar drummer. You're too good for fucking casinos. No, I'm not. No, I'm not. I take it back. I'm so sorry. It would actually be my dream to be in a Prince casino cover band right now. Does that have to be Prince? Okay, well. And in fact, maybe if you did some kind of gimmick, like there was that all girl, all like girl lesbian Led Zeppelin band called Led Zeppelin. Oh my God. That's good. So if you do, like gimmick wise, I don't know, is there like a girl Muslim angle? I think there could be. Well, so right now, I mean, me and my boyfriend, we, I mean, the most fun thing in my life right now is playing under the arches and Grand Army Plaza for nobody. Oh wow. Oh man, you've lost it. We haven't talked in a while. You're fucking busking with your fucking boyfriend. Do you guys have a fucked up dog that lives outside? No. Are you fucking, are you living in train cars, Dina? We say your name is Dina Hashem, by the way. I didn't say, I was like, hey, have you ever said, have you ever, and I just didn't introduce you? That's how pro this show is. So wait, wait, wait. What you do for fun? Listen. Is this the under Grand Army Plaza? I started dating. A snare drum? He has a full drum kit. I mean, what I tell you about his life, he is a true, I mean, he is, okay, so he's a jazz music. You know when you go to the park and you see the jazz trios? This is interesting. I like this because last time we went, and everyone check out, Stavey solves your problems, the forerunner to this show. But I think you, is this a new boyfriend, right? This is a new boyfriend. You also had a weird, I feel like you've had a series of strange relationships. We're like, you had like a longest relationship with somebody from like a weird place, Norway. Yes, yes, yes. You know that classic New York to Norway fucking direct flight. You can just catch. I've buried the memory of that entire relationship. And I'm so triggered that you brought that up. Damn, sorry to bring it up, but it's just very funny to like, every time I check in, it's like, you're like on a, in a long distance relationship with someone across the country, a world. And now you've met a jazz drummer who, and where did you guys meet? Yeah. The apps, you know. Yeah, sure, classic. But he's domestic. He lives in the same city as me. And I love that about him. And how much do you know that you like him? Or is it just that he's in the same city as you? Well, he's trapped in the city because he needs the park to make a living. So I love that. I know he's not going anywhere. So whenever you're here, you can't find him. You just go to every like public place in New York. You're like, what, what, what, what subways have the best acoustics? Maybe my boyfriend's there. Okay. It's actually a real thing. You need a permit to play on the subway. He gets them and it's a whole program. Listen, no, I think I really respect what he does. No, no, truly. I don't want to seem like I'm making light. I know you're not. I, I'm the one who's doing it. For the record, Dina is supporting her boyfriend. I am the one who's laughing at how what is going on in her life. But at the same time, I'm not saying you haven't found happiness. I'm just, you know, it's just a fun development. Yeah, no, I mean, no, he's really, I love it. I really love playing outside and like just people come and they really like it. Follow, created a page. Holy fuck, you're plugging, you're fucking outdoor drumming. This is fucking dark. Oh my God, this isn't really dark. I don't know. No, no, it's hilarious. I actually, it's not going back to our discussion of like, of like, you know, just doing stuff that's awesome. I do think playing music outside is more with somebody that you love is much more fulfilling than for example, putting a bunch of fucking lights in your living room and being in your, sitting here with your best friend and cycling out your friends like one after the other. I mean, today we're only doing this podcast, but there's days where it's me and Eldis in here for 11 hours. Oh my God. And we're doing like fucking three podcasts, 10 ads, a meeting and we just want to fucking blow our brains out. That's not natural. No, that is darker than. Thank you. That's what's sick and twisted about our world is that me and podcasting is rewarded when going outside and playing music with your loved ones. I scoffed at it, but I'm actually, now that I'm saying it, I'm actually very jealous. Oh good. Thank you. And now I'm like, now I feel like I've gone, I've overcorrected too far and now I've hurt my own feelings. And I'm like, wait, I am a piece of shit. Oh, excellent. No, because he's going to watch this and I don't want him to feel any way back. And I actually do respect. I have, this is maybe some like aging into a dad without having kids, but I like, I have started appreciating jazz. Oh good. Whereas like when I was younger, I just was like, that's fucking, you know, you don't know about it either. You don't listen to good jazz, but I was just like, I don't know, there's something about the almost being 40 where I'm like, if I'm going to go see something live, I'm not going to a fucking concert. Right. I'm like sitting in a pit and like fucking, or just going to an outdoor thing and just like a festival. It's like, I'm too old for that shit. Jazz is sort of like, you know, it's like buying a fucking suit. You know, it's like, it's like, yes, this is like a little bit of a grown up. Sophisticated. And it is nice. I mean, you just enjoy, you know, being out and fucking listening to some other fuckers. And they're so dedicated to it. I mean, and just, he started as rock, just regular drummer and then he garnered a jazz just for the challenge of it, but that made him like jazz. And you know, just, I just feel like I need to defend him a little. He's been in, I'm sorry. I know we're all having fun, but he's not a comedian and he doesn't, you know, he's gonna. That's true. I did, I did immediately light him up the way I would you. It was like, he caught strays because I was lighting you up so much. He's collateral damage in a certain way. He's been in very successful bands. He's tore it all over the world. But this is what he loves doing. No, that is awesome. Yes, yes, I get it. Anyway, follow Mooshkin. But why are you drumming? So I get all of that, right? And that's awesome. And I actually respect him. But now that you said it, why are you, why do you think you could just do what he's done? He's dedicated his life to. Well, no, not jazz. I can never drum jazz. Okay. No, I, no. And did you play drums before you met him? Yes. Oh, okay. Oh, so that was like a common bonding. Exactly. Yeah. Oh, that's cool. I didn't realize you played drums. Well, I didn't. It was an accident. Like everything else that's happened in my life. I was in LA and I was so depressed. And there's the burp, have you been to the Burbank mall? Maybe. I've been to some malls in that part of LA, but maybe not the specific Burbank mall. Well, they have this place called the round one arcade. Which is originally a Japanese arcade. And they're only in like some states in the country. And I could probably name every state that's. Because I've tracked them down. And they have this machine. So first of all, I grew up playing DDR. So like my brain is wired to be addicted to like rhythm games and like hitting the B. Okay. You were DDR kid. Yeah, totally. Interesting. Where did you grow up? Central Jersey. Central Jersey. Okay, nice. That actually checks out a lot. Cause it's like that part of that like no man's land part of Jersey. That's not, cause like, I feel like all of Jersey is either a Philly suburb or a New York suburb. Central Jersey is kind of its own thing, right? It just malls. Yeah. And so yeah. So that feels right. That you would know about arcade. Like that's sort of like how the polar ice caps are melting. Like central Jersey is like as arcades were disappearing. It's like the one place with no culture or anything to do where kids would still go to the mall, even into the nineties. Oh, totally. The mall was the thing we did. The mall and the skating rink, which is actually where DDR was at skating rink. Oh, okay. There was a mall arcade, but it shut down kind of quickly. Anyway. Right, right, right. So you would go to the skating rink. To both to roller blade and DDR. No blades. Oh, you had the blades. Oh yeah. We were, every weekend that was the thing. You were a big blader. And DDR. Oh yeah. Fuck yes. And you didn't, you weren't into anime or you were? Because DDR to me is very anime- No, I'm a total weeb. I really am. I mean, I studied Japanese in college. I went to Japan a few times. I know it's everything. Yeah. We're seeing a much different side of you this five years later. I feel like everything is shameful. I've said it so far. No, no, no. I mean, come on. Who are you talking to? What do you think I was doing when you were playing DDR? You think I was being cool? When I'm in like, when me and Elda's are in the Baltimore suburbs, just not getting pussy, not going to parties and just not talking to anyone but ourselves. Yeah. That's right. Like psyching each other up to talk to one girl for four minutes and then being like, okay, that was okay. That wasn't bad. She's fucking making out with another guy immediately. We really never even, not one of us picked up a woman in high school like once. No. I've said it before, but like, it didn't even like cross my mind. I've never even really tried. I think in my, I think in my head, it was like, I'll fucking a few years or something. I'll learn how to get girls in like four or five years. Maybe during college. Right. My mommy's made me a peanut butter jelly with bananas in it. I have to go play fucking WWE no mercy with my friends. Yeah. I was like, I'm having fun. I hear it with stuff and be a lucid and mysterious big P I'm going to get drunk behind my parents. One of us is going to drive drunk through a Wendy's drive through. And then we're going to call each other gay. That was good enough for me. I'm like, I was a wholesome kid, but I'm talking about like 17 through like 24, what my mindset was. I know. I grew up Muslim. So I was an in sale as well. I mean, I really had the same life as you guys. Muslim weeb is awesome. That's kind of a rare, that's kind of a rare setup. You know, actually that's I don't know anyone else. I was going to ask. I don't really know any Muslims. OK, really central Jersey, not a hub. Well, sort of, I guess. Well, it was you have a like a what is it fucking? It's not a temple. Is it mosque mosque? Actually, well, famously mosque. You're right. Church, you didn't have a Muslim church. Did you? We did, but thankfully, my mother didn't really have time to enforce that. OK, nice. So that was one blessing. Because also famously deadbeat Muslim dad. Yeah, right. You had deadbeat now just dead. Oh, yeah, really? Did they just get him? Is it was he in the rubble? Oh, my God. No, he was in Iraq, right? No. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. Oh, my God. I was about to do this. I don't know if there's a Muslim thing for that. Oh, yeah. Do you guys have a cross situation? In that situation, I would say a stuffer a lot, which means God forgive me. Gotcha, gotcha, gotcha. Not that I believe in anything. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. So yes, that's right. Deadbeat, deadbeat. So is just you and moms in central Jersey? Or do you have? I'm stepdad. Stepdad. But he and I, we got into a scuffle when I was six years old. Six? And then never spoke again. Wait, what? He argued with a grown man at six and he cut you off. What was the argument about? OK, so we lived in a one bedroom apartment and, or two bedrooms, sorry. My parents got one. My older brother, of course, got the bedrooms himself. So I got. So in some ways, it was a traditional Muslim household. Yeah, totally, totally. I got sectioned off into the living room. There's like dividers. There's like Chinese dividers. We got from the flea market, the Lune 18 flea market. That's so funny that you just lived that way. Like that's how when you moved to New York, people like, like that's me. I was like, I had to live in the living room. It was so depressing. And I was poor by the way. I grew up poor. It's like I had money, but that you had the as a fucking seven year old had the like just moved to New York to make a bedroom, but in central Jersey with your family. OK. So there's some real environmental signs who the favorite in the family is. Well, he was the boy. And so of course. And older, first born. Older and boy. And so I just had, you know, this area, it was my area, my space and my step dad, I came up from school and I found him like rifling around my space. And you know, I'm like, you know, a kid and like, this is all I have. And I'm like, get out of my room or whatever. And he was just like, you don't talk to me like that. And that was like it. And that was it. And you never have you spoken to him since. I lived with him for the rest of my life up until I guess I moved out at 22. And I'm not kidding. When I say the only words we ever exchanged was, hey, Mo, whenever he would get home and he would say, hi, Dina, 20 years. That's fucking insane. I don't I never thought about how crazy it is until I like brought it up to somebody once. And they're like, that's crazy. No, I mean, it's one of the craziest things I've ever. Yes, much OK. So we were joking about the drumming stuff in the beginning being crazy. This is legitimately insane that your father, for all intents and purposes, I know he's your stepdad, but it's like the dad that was in your house since you were six didn't speak to you because you were mad at six. That he was like going through your fucking, I don't know, unicorn stickers. Like what the fuck did you even have to hide back then? I wasn't hiding anything. It was just a breach of trust. Yeah, it was just like this is my space. Fuck you, Mo. Get the fuck out of my shit. Exactly. Yeah. Did he talk to your brother? Yeah. He just wasn't a very chatty guy. He was a dark household. There was a lot of silence. And now I'm realizing it's explained a lot about my life. Totally. My personality. Yeah, yeah, absolutely. I mean, there's no way that doesn't fuck you up when what you think family is. It's like essentially just Craigslist roommate. You have the most Craigslist roommate set up that I've ever heard. A little sheet in the living room with a guy named Mo that you've only spoke to. You just say, what's up, man? Like that's best case scenario Craigslist roommate. Like you basically got a neutral Craigslist roommate, not positive, not negative, right? No, negative. Oh, negative. He was also annoying. He was also annoying. He would scream and play every two. So you got the worst set up possible. Oh, yeah. Oh, it was not good. Not good. Damn. And how long did you just have the sheet room? I guess maybe like seventh grade or sixth grade. We moved into a proper house. And I don't know how because they didn't have any money. And I just don't. What did they do? Like what was? Well, you know, immigrants. My mother was a Montessori school teacher, but it was not well paid at all. And then my stepdad worked in a deli. And I don't really know. A deli worker named Moe. He's your stepdad. I mean, that is like, that's like classic. Like if somebody, like again, that's one of those things that's so hack that it's like, you had a. Was he fat? No, no. No, yeah. Unfortunately. That would have been awesome. I'm honestly just thinking of like, yeah, big fat guy. April, like I'm thinking of him dressed for the deli, you know. No, he didn't look like a class typical deli worker. No. OK, but something. Yeah, what was I? Yeah, the house, you move in the house. Oh, yeah. But this is all DD. We're all we're circling the DDR talk. We'll get back to it. Don't worry, I'm a professional. We've got a lot of very interesting threads here. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. The three man weave. So, oh, yeah, I got my own room then. But but it was bittersweet because the fucking door, there was carpeting and the door wouldn't shut all the way because the carpeting was too thick. So even then, my mother could just burst in whenever she wanted. No lock. No lock, couldn't lock the bathroom. It was my favorite place because it was the only place I could lock the door. How many bathrooms in the house? One and a half. One point for that. That second one would have been that full two would have been nice. Yeah, that's all right. What are you going to do? So, yeah, I mean, that's I mean, I know what that's like, too, because it's like I grew up in a house with. At any point, it was me, my brothers, that's three of us, my parents, five and my grandmother, six, plus my cousin for a couple years. And my grandma would come in and out of Greece. Like for when she was still healthy, she would like she would come here for the winters. And so like and we had we had two with like six people and we're talking. Me and my brother, we were talking some big shitters in this family. There's like that that that bathroom got really those bathrooms got fucking abused and abused. And especially the fucking the one on our on our bedroom floor was like me, my brothers and my grandmother. You're getting like teenage boy activity. So it's like and then I know my brothers are beating off in there because they share a room and then you got old lady shits plus fat teenager shits, it was just a real tough zone to be in. Luckily, I got I got my own room kind of around the same age, maybe like maybe eighth grade for me. But the funny thing is we just had we just had a like upstairs. There was like three bedrooms and one of them, my parents just had stuff in there for the first 10 years of my life. And it's like they had me and my brother shared a room into middle school because my dad didn't feel like cleaning out like his coats from the 70s. Like which now I'm fucking sad because I bet there was some heat in there. Like he had like a fur like a faux fur coat that I think they threw out. I wish if we had waited until I was 16 to go through that stuff. I would have had a but yeah, that's you have to find your little like little solace in a crowded house like that. And yeah, there was like, you know, I was a big base. We had our kitchen had a little fucking TV with a VCR. And that became my hangout zone because when everybody would go like, you know, most of the day, it's like everybody's in there. But after hours, the kitchen is where you want to be. Throw on a little VHS, fucking make yourself a couple of grilled cheeses. It's like some of my fondest memories of growing up are in this fucking linoleum floor fucking basement. But yeah, you got a claw. So I get the bathroom being like the bathroom being salvation. Yeah, there was not a competition for it. Not that much shitting. OK. Yeah. A lot of fasting. So not that much. Oh, yeah. Ramadan, nice place to hang out during the toilet. The bathroom, nice place to hang out during Ramadan. So I can put it. Yeah, a lot of shitting going on. Although I bet you when it happens, it's all at once. Probably. I think probably everybody's timed up because everybody has just one big ass meal in the morning. Yeah, it was kind of saying that huge meal in the morning, huge meal at night. Whenever that bill comes due. That is fucking tough. Did you have to fast like where they were they that was the one thing they like your parents were not the one thing? Oh, there are many enforced things, but they were just tired. Your mom was just too tired to enforce. She didn't have time to take us to mosque, but the praying for a praying every day, fasting for sure. And just generally. Right, right. And I've never asked her about it, but I am so. Now's the time. Do you think at your wedding you could ask? Oh, I'm not going to have a wedding. Yeah, you're right. Yeah, you're right. Well, who knows, you know, after a wedding. I've been watching Love is Blind a lot and part of me is like, maybe that'd be nice. Oh, interesting. So is it now you not wanting to have a wedding is because why? Because you were just talking about you just opened up the podcast kind of beautifully supporting your boyfriend in a way, really going to bat in a way that is like does feel like real love. And you've even talked about how much you want to have drum. So why? What do you think? Do you just not believe in love because of your upbringing? No, I believe in love. Love is the only like I've always been obsessed with love. Like the Disney propaganda totally. Really? Totally. I feel like everything I've ever done is to like cast a net out to like find the person who's going to like respond to my art. Like I feel like that's driven every artistic thing I've ever done. I'm also I fully agree where it's like that's the whole reason anyone gets into the arts. Think so. I really think it's like it's I mean, on some level, it might be just you want to be understood. So you're like, what if I put this out there? And if somebody really connects on some subconscious level, I think it's like a search for understanding, but also on a base level, it's like I did comedy so that I could so girls would fuck me on the absolute basis level. It's like, yeah, you do something that gets you notoriety because or even just makes you more interesting persons. You have fucking something to talk about on the base level. And then at the absolute highest level, I'm like, yeah, I definitely feel that where I'm like, I do think on some level, I've always wanted to someone to get me for lack of a better because it's like, especially when you're coming when you're growing up in like a very hectic family where it's like, you know, from I think I mean, I got lucky. I got immigrant dad that was like, you know, a little dicey, but my mom was like the best. So I got very lucky in that sense. But it's like, I had a mom who I think wanted to get me and just was too overwhelmed and I was also weirder compared to like, I think me and my brothers were much weirder than my mother was ready for. Because, you know, everyone's kind of like we were smart. Like, like my mom just wanted me to be a lawyer, right? Like my and and like and even my brothers who my brothers are both pretty like one of them has a straight, you know, he runs a gym pretty and he has like a family, got a little kid. It's awesome. And the other one, my other brother also, he's a visual artist and we're just odd guys. Yeah. And I think my mom very I don't think I think my parents are both weird. But when you grow up in a society that just like everything is so in my mom's case, patriarchal and just top down, you just do what the fuck you're told kind of stuff. And then from my dad's side, it's like, I don't think he's ever thought. Deeply about like about who he like, I don't think there's a lot of self reflection going on. There's just like, you just do the things we have to do. You know, like he didn't believe like church is a great example. He didn't fucking believe in anything. But it's like, well, I had to go to fucking church as a kid. So you assholes have to go. He wasn't going ever. But he was like, he made sure we went. Oh, really? Oh, yeah, yeah. He didn't fucking believe. Like and I'm sure on some of the he believes in it the way like, yeah, everybody just believes in God because like, you know, God's real because they tell us he's real. And so I went to church when I was a kid. Now I don't because I I rather watch Greek soccer with my boys, you know. But all so I don't know. I just I think so anyway, I am with you in that. I think, you know, when you when you're drawn to that kind of artistic pursuit, there is like a your it's connection, which if we really boil down, that's what love, you know, real love is just connecting on a really turbo level. So anyway, but why no wedding then? Or you just don't think I just fear that like just getting paperwork involved. I feel like psychologically, maybe it would feel like take the romance. Yeah, I don't know. But then sometimes I'm like, maybe you actually bring us even closer to maybe I don't like the word husband, though. It feels so like I'm old now. But this boy boyfriend, that's cute. I like boyfriend. No, I think it is until a point. Oh, yeah. Maybe when I'm boyfriend spoils, boyfriend, girlfriend. It's like, it's like, come on, guys. What are you? You got a fucking knee brace on. You know what I mean? It's like, it's like, you know, it's it's it's cute for a second. And then it's like, you know, yeah, I just feel like we're at the age where it's like that sounds I almost feel the opposite. I'm like, should I just get married because it'll be embarrassing to say, here's my girlfriend when I'm a fat 48 year old. I didn't think of it that way. And I actually think that's true. Yeah. Once the crow's feet start settling in a little more, I think it's that'll be the wedding. That'll be the time for the wedding. It'll be a purely visual. Well, right now we both still like like youthful. Like, I still make sense. Totally. Are we the same age? Yeah. What are you? I'm 37. You're in the mid 30s. I don't know. I think I'm 36. Yeah. Oh, God, I might be 37. 89. What's that 37? Dependent. No way. I just I think I'm still good. You're turning 30. I'm February. So you got a couple more. It is funny, though. Thirty seven does feel like because you're just so much. Now it's undeniable you're close to 40. Oh, yeah. You're way you're close to 40 in a major way. Thirty six. You're still like it's like 35, junior. You know what I mean? It's like it's like a little bit. You're still at the you're at least touching your mid 30s. Thirty seven. It's like you're about to be 40. But you know what? That's I see it now is these three years. My 30s are over and it's like I have to get a head start on 40. OK, that's that's that's how I'm looking at it. It's like I have three years to be who I want to be it for. Wait, so what else do you feel like you have to do to be who you want to be? Just not be eligible to die at any moment. Like that's that's the thing. It's like I really I really could die at any like I'm better now. But it's like, man, have I lived a lot of my 30s where if somebody heard I died, no one would be shocked. Like, you know what I mean? Like if four years ago, so you see a bunch of fucking black and white pictures of me on Instagram. Would you be like, what? Would you be like, oh, he ate and pilled himself to death on the road? Like that's that's what everybody would have thought. And they would have been right. I was eligible to do that. And now it's fucked up because I've actually cleaned up my habits, but my body is breaking down. Like it's almost like I'm healthier now, but I'm still as busy. And I think my body started being like, all right, you fucking idiot, if you're not going to take time off, we're going to force you. Like my back is so fucked right now. My shoulder flared up out of nowhere. Like I've been going to I had two days off this week and I went to PT and the fucking like got like an excruciating massage. Like those massages that aren't further like it's a procedure. Like some guy just fucking pressing on your shoulder hard as fuck for nine minutes. And you're like, gritting your teeth. You're like, I don't want anything on the bitch. I mean, this guy didn't think I'm a pussy. Keep going. And it feels better afterwards. But anyway, enough fucking complaining about about how fat I am. So yeah, it's mostly just physical stuff. OK, yeah. And spending time with my family and like, you know, my brother, like my I have a nephew and he's fucking cute as hell. And I was seeing him a lot. But this the last three months, I haven't gotten to see him. And I'm like, fuck, I can't be doing that shit. It's like, I need to make time. There's very few things that are actually important. Yeah. And it's like, you know, comedy is not important. It's just it should just become, I guess, the like philosophical thing is like when you put your whole being into what like something like comedy is your whole identity. It's like, then you get to be fucking almost 40 and you're like, well, that's fucking lame and pathetic. Yeah, I think about that a lot. Like, yeah, sorry to cut you off. It's like, we're not that's not that different from pouring your life into being a fucking investment banker. It's cooler. But at the end of the day, you have poured your life into your job. And that's pathetic. And that's a big problem with America and our culture, where it's like, we think that's you have value for doing that. And actually, I would argue it's the exact opposite. The more you pour your life into it, the actually more stunted you are and the barely a fucking person you are. And you put just monetary stuff over. It's like, what do you really want to do if you're successful? You just want to hang out with your family? Yeah, I think about that. I feel guilty all the time because I'm just like, I mean, social media has really ruined my enjoyment of what we do. Because every day I'm just like, I should be posting. Oh, my God, I feel so guilty. I haven't posted. And then I sit back and I'm like, well, I haven't posted because I just want to live life and I'm enjoying just living life. So it's like, if I'm doing that, then like, what's the point of like, like the whole purpose of the career should be to enjoy life. But instead, it's like my enjoyment of life is getting in the way of my career. It's like that seems backwards. Yeah. Yeah. But whatever, who fucking cares? Nobody wants to hear us fucking complain about how much easier our lives. I mean, our lives are so easy. We have philosophical problems. Oh, no, I know. No, every day I feel disgusting. I scroll Twitter and I see the horrors in the world. And I just like, I mean, like my big problem these days is like, how do I I don't know how to make that funny. I feel so bad about everything in the world. Of course. And I feel like a failure as a comedian because I can't make it funny. And then I'm like, how disgusting of me to like, that's the problem. Not like, how do we stop the genocide? Right, right, right, right, right. Well, my art is like, yeah, my art's not going to stop it. And it's like, I just I don't know. Maybe if I get the perfect one liner, they'll stop bombing hospitals. Totally. I know. I know. Yeah, it is like useless in the face of, you know, but at the same time, you got to do something, I guess. Thank you all so much for being here at our wedding. I can't believe I get to spend the rest of my life with the woman of my dreams. Speaking of dreams, have you ever dreamed of tasting all the colours of the rainbow? Because that is exactly what you get with Skittles. Five bold fruit flavours in every pack. Lemon, orange, lime, strawberry and blackcurrant. They're chewy, they're colourful, they're perfect, just like my wife. So thank you for coming and remember to buy Skittles. Shamelessly promote the rainbow. Taste the rainbow. 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Oh, man, I feel like we started at like 10 and like through like 18 because we got jobs there eventually. Like this is like a huge. OK, so that's what I'm saying. It's like, so this is basically like this. If your life as a teen is a sitcom, this is the second location other than your shitty one bedroom. Definitely. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's like school, your shitty apartment, this place. And then occasionally for for a change of pace, Mose Deli. There's a location there. Why would I? That would be so awkward. It's funny of all your only conversations were, hey, what's up, Mo and like Turkey on Turkey and Swiss on a role please. No, it was too far away. It was like several towns over. Oh, that definitely you're definitely cheating, by the way. If you're if you're a deli worker, you're like, it has to be 40 minutes away. There's no other delis in our shitty town. I have to make a fucking $10 an hour. I never thought about that. Yeah, classic. When deli workers pretend they're like doctors, like, no, I got stationed here. This is where I this is where I was assigned. I never thought about that. But no, the deli would not be part of the show. Sure, sure. I'm just trying to figure out the sitcom settings. The mall, the the rank. Yeah, love that. And what's the so you and the crew, what's the are you eating that shitty skate rink pizza pizza? I remember are you pot heads at the time? Are you are you scared of drugs because of religion? Because I really weirdly like I went to Sunday school and shit. And most of that shit didn't stick. But weirdly, like there was a general morality that just made me scared of drugs. And I mean, I still smoked weed and I was like, you know, 13, 14. But oh, no, no, I didn't try that until like at the rink when I was like. The rink is sounding. Yeah. You know what? Rightest show about the rink. I did. I wrote a pilot about the rank, but I have to go. It's not good. It's not good. Yeah. I think it's it sounds. I think you got the bones of it. That sounds good. There's like several zones. There's like the the ice rink where like the jocks play hockey and then like the nerdy arcade part. And then I don't know. Yeah, I worked in the cafeteria of the rink. So you you're very familiar with the snacks at the rink. Totally. Yeah, we got wheat pizza. We had the pretzel bites. Is it the little pizza with the little you see the individual squares of cheese? Oh, yeah. That's what it was. Every low grade pizza. Yeah. Yeah. I remember not like being tormented by the hot dogs because I knew they had pork in it. It's like I need the hot dogs. That was that was a thing. The turkey dogs. Huh? No. Yeah. Are you still not eating pork? I mean, I will, but I still weirdly it's I just I'm like I feel weird about it. I of like when when people pick a thing for religious reasons, I'm like that's the one that most clearly aligns with I feel bad for pigs. Like cows, it's like, listen, man, that fucking thing does. It's sad, but one to the back of the head and it's quick and done. And the counters know what's happening, but a pig is smart as fuck. And I think cows know cows are really friendly and sweet. You should feel bad about cows, too. I can't. I'll send you some videos. It doesn't matter. I promise I won't. I'll be like, oh, man, as I'm just eating fucking short rib pork, too. I've gone down on pork, but I'm scared of it. But anyway, so OK, so the rink gives and there was now let's get to this Burbank drumming machine. So they have this game and it's made by the same Konami, same companies do your and it's a real Yamaha electronic drum kit. So it's like more advanced than rock band. It's like a full kit. Yeah, they did that rock band bullshit. Fucking nothing. Rock band is nothing. Fuck rock bands. Fun as hell, though. I've actually never played it. That's a really fun. Like again, you want to talk about activities we're doing and not getting pussy. I remember being the fellas. You weren't involved in this. Eldest, were you? You never you never played rock band, did you? With the crew? Not really. No. No, there was because we also had a friend who he his family was fucking hilarious. He and there was just a weird. There was just like a weird summer where we spent a lot of time in his basement with his like, I don't know if he was on heroin yet or if he was just like big whippets like they had they had so many cans of fucking whipped cream in their fucking downstairs fridge. Because his fucking brother was doing whippets all the time. And I was just fatally drinking the like flat whipped cream. Yeah. And I'm playing bass on fucking pretending you're doing drugs. Yeah, this is. No, I'm doing the whippets and eating the thing. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I just I would do the whip and then be like, I mean, we got all this fucking flat cream. Well, it seems fucking stupid not to eat it. But yeah, that's it's actually pretty fun. And I bet I think that would be a fun. We should. Future idea, a stream of thawing of us fucking playing rock band for like eight hours, I think would go crazy. Like that. It's pretty fun. I remember seeing that friend play and he was like, he was really nice with a fucking guitar and he was just like, yeah, dead eyed. Nice with his body when he had to wiggle this. No other artistic, athletic, social skills of any kind. Yeah. But weirdly nice at the fucking guitar. So you might have a good time. I know you you look down on it as a as a true drummer now. I do, especially knowing that you can also set up this other drum game at home if you with a lot of effort, if you get like a real e-kit and you can download the game. I like that. So it would be cool if there was a version of rock band that you could actually learn the thing. That's what this way. OK, so that's what this was. You're going to this is an arcade. You're putting in coins. No, you have to buy the card and you refill the card. I swear I spent like a thousand dollars on this machine. But as a result, I could play the drums. So you're just depressed. You've moved to LA for like comedy, I assume. Job. A job. OK. A writing job. OK. That's so funny. So you're so what you did in LA. Because by the way, that's a successful reason to move there. Like moving with a writing job is not pathetic. That's why you want to move. And it's like you were still like channeling just depressed Jersey teen. I was just something in your bones wanted you to get into an arcade. I was just I was lonely. I didn't really know anyone in LA. I was I was full of things I do over the job. So I just went to my safe space, the mall. And yeah, the machine, if you get good at it, there's this guy there. I mean, I made somebody weird arcade freak friend. Yeah, yeah. So the only woman on this machine. Oh, yeah. Oh my God. I can't even imagine people like, huh? What the hell? Like the first two, the first time you're there, you're like they're like fat guys around there like fluke. And then like three times you're like, my lady, I see you are a fan of the drumming arts. I am not kidding. There was a guy that came up to me. He must have been like 17 and he was watching me play. And then he was like, I really like your nails. And I was like, oh, this is just a gay kid. Oh my God, thank you. And he was like, has a man ever ever said that to you before? He's like, he's like, he's in his in his like pick up artist message board. They're like, what you're going to want to do is give them some under underused approaches. And like he now he now he did he do that, but he was like, he wanted credit from you for it. That's so fucking funny. I was also just like, I'm like 30. I know you wouldn't expect that I'm like twice your age. So yeah, so there's this guy. There's this one guy there who was like so good at it. And he became my like idol. And I was like, how did I was like, by the way, you are being you're a successful Hollywood screenwriter at the time. You have been you have been someone moved you across the country to write for a TV show, I'm guessing. And you're like, man, this guy that hangs out at the fucking arcade and is good at this drumming game is my idol. The fuck is wrong with you, man? I don't know. I don't know. That's so fucking funny. That's what depression does to someone, though. I get it. I get it. I don't know. And you're so locked in on a thing. I mean, I'm obviously mocking you, but there is. I also do get when you have these weird obsessions that you can't. And it's an escape. It was like an escape for you. Because also those rooms are fucking those can be nerve racking jobs, too. I'm still I it gives me more anxiety than anything, except maybe for podcasting. Like, like it all gives me anxiety. It's like, OK, time to be like funny and witty on demand. And I'm like, no, I like to be funny in a very rehearsed, right, structured way on stage. Lucky for you. We don't got to do that on this podcast. This is what we like to call just filling a contractual obligation. We got to we got to get 90 minutes and our advertisers are happy. And don't worry, Dina, we'll we'll have you on your way in about forty five minutes from now. Is that how much is left? No, we got we we have. Oh, I don't mean to. I don't want to get you. We're you're doing great. This is very fun and very funny. But no, no. But I know you mean. This is great. Um, so. Yeah. So I'm like, you must be a real drummer. Right. And he's like, yeah. And I'm like, so if I keep playing this game, do you think it like really teaches me the drums? And he's like, oh, this is the best drum teacher you'll ever have. And that's all I needed to hear. And I spent like so much money on this machine. But you feel yourself getting better because like, have you ever tried playing the drums? I mean, very briefly, I have no I honestly have very little musical acumen at all. No, like my, you know, I've tried a little bit. I took like guitar lessons and I like it, but I just don't even draw. I've tried playing the drums and it's like shit that you think would be kind of intuitive, just like a classic beat I can do for like, you know, 10 seconds. And then I like I'm off beat. It's you'd need to like practice the limb independence. It's a whole thing. And like I loved that challenge. Like I just felt like, oh, now I can like move my foot without my hand doing the same thing. I got really, really addicted to it and probably because of the DDR already in great. Right. The pathways were ready to go. Konami just had a fucking boo on my neck. What are the Konami properties? Did you take in maybe? I'll just do a little fucking producing. Would have fucking kill you to have that ready to go. They got some bangers. Metal Gear Solid, Silent Hill, Castlevania, OK, Contra, Yu-Gi-Oh, Contra is awesome. Yu-Gi-Oh. Some modern titles. E football, Super Bomberman are so I think I've played Super Bomberman actually. Shout out to Konami. That's a nice one. That's I like when a brand survives. That's kind of like a little niche like video game because it's like everything just becomes, you know, Nintendo or PlayStation. It's like everything always gets subsumed and even Sega is like just barely exists. But I like Konami still sticking around, didn't fucking fold into the big guys. Quality products. I fucking yeah. Shout out to them. I had no idea they were they did DDR. Unless I'm wrong. I'm not wrong. It's Konami. Right. I can't be wrong about this. Oh, that would be devastating if you're wrong. Who created DDR? It's Konami. OK. Yeah, I felt you get actually nervous. Well, OK, so we've got we've gone through. You are the type of person that gets addicted to multiple Konami arcade games knowing that. Why don't we go into it's time to solve some problems here, Dina? So why don't we take some calls and at the halfway point, is anything particularly you'd like to plug here? Follow you. Follow Moosh kill. That's my boyfriend and I. We play sometimes in Grand Army Plaza. Moosh M.O.S.H. Under score. I like this. I'm actually going to institute a rule where you cannot actually plug anything helpful to your career from now on. And you have to pick you have to pick like actually, you know, you could do one, but you have to also do another completely random, just personal project. Check out Moosh kill everyone. Once this can hear, I guess I'll be in raw on the headlining Raleigh comedy festival at the end of this month. Oh, this is already happened. Everybody had a great time in Raleigh. You have a special look. I'll do a little for you. You have a special. Actually, I do want to say don't watch it on. OK, don't watch. Bleep out where I said where it was. I'm going to upload it to PunchUp. I really want people to follow me on PunchUp, OK, because I don't want to post on social media anymore. So please just follow me on PunchUp and I'm going to post a very edited version of the special. That's a lot better than the one that's already out there. OK, damn. All right. So we will link to punch to your punch up when this comes out. OK. All right. I'll just play us a couple. Give us some calls, little buddy. Hey, what's up, scottavi? Yeah, I was just wondering. I'm so I'm a 26 year old guy. I'm a PhD student. I'm a biologist working on my PhD at Harvard. I'll be honest. I don't know how the fuck I got here. But I'm in my fourth year. I'm supposed to be graduating next year. And last time I met with my graduation committee, I could tell they didn't really think I was on the right track. Nice. Give me a plan of attack, you know, to figure out how to move forward. But I want to be honest, I'm kind of a piece of shit. Spend my weekends, you know, getting drunk and playing video games and stuff. And it's like I want to finish this thing. I want to really knock it out. But I don't know. I can't really guys find the motivation. I think it's made it off my ass and do it. And, you know, I was just wondering if you got any tips for like. How can I, you know, kick myself in gear here and finish this thing out? You know, I like. I think I got it in me, but. What did he struggle with the. PhD for four years. No one has done it. If you're a PhD for four years, that means you've been good as shit at school your whole life. That's a longer. And what? Yeah. And what do you say he's studying? He said he's a biologist. I mean, I could see that being much harder. I don't know, man. This this the lack of specifics and him saying Harvard. Do people often make things up when they I don't know. I mean, look, maybe the guys for real. Was that his whole question? Is there anything else? Yeah. Look, that's he's asking for, you know, direction on basically being a fucking loser in this PhD program and his committee doesn't believe in him. Well, that's tough because you are just by even people who graduate with a PhD are losers most of the time. They have wasted their lives. Like people that have been in academia in there until they're 40. Yeah. It's like, at least you're a if you're a doctor or if you're like, like, but if you're I mean, maybe a biologist, maybe you're doing something good for the world, but like, I don't know. If you're a fucking philosophy, PhD. I wanted to do. I wanted to waste my life and then I found stand up. Yeah. And I wasted it in a different way. Yeah. But yeah, Louis had an old joke about PhDs where he's like, he's they're like the dumbest people because they've spent their whole life thinking about one thing forever. So I will say you're you're kind of fucked. And if you're if you're telling the truth. Harvard, I just don't respect anyone that goes to Harvard. I think Ivy Leagues are so clearly. I mean, they're so clearly designed to just launder rich people's reputation. Like some of the dumbest people in the world go to Harvard and even some very on paper, smart people, they think in these very they're they're training them to just be part of the ruling class at those fucking schools. So it's like at me, at least you're in biology, but it's like if you went to like Harvard for like fucking political science or some shit, then you're a fucking idiot. Proud, you know, for the most part. I had a I had a friend who who went to like who went to I think it was Harvard. But then he was like, this is bullshit. And then he just like now he went and then he went to med school somewhere else. And then he was a teacher and like he was an actually good person who was like the Ivy Leagues are fucking bad and he was a poor kid, like black guy from Baltimore. So it was like they're fucking stacked against you. If you're poor, they treat you like shit when you get there. And he was smart as fuck, obviously. So I don't know. I'm a little dubious about this question because there's a there's a there's a lack of specifics. But having now that we've aired all my the negatives, let's pretend it's a real question. And some guys having trouble finishing his PhD and he goes to bars on weekends and video games and plays video games. That I do believe that. See, here's where he's lying. It's one or the other. If you're a fucking PhD that plays a lot of video games, you're not going to you or have a social life. That's true. It's weird to be a passionless PhD. Like, right? That it's like this is the one thing you're super interested in. Yeah. So we are. Why are you doing this? Why have you lost? I mean, obviously, I'm just going to tell you, do whatever it takes to finish it. Just not to waste the money. Yeah. I mean, that's another thing. He didn't mention money. Are you there? Are you there? I mean, he must. Are you a TA? This just feels fake to me. I don't know what to tell you. Did he do it? Did he have it? Did he do any other call calls? Sometimes they'll do multiple calls. I didn't see one. All right. All right. Let's just say now at the same time. All right, fine. Let's transition to giving him advice. It's real. I know what it's like to be super burned out, right? Like, I kind of feel like actually right now, I feel like fuck, I have so much to do. And like it when this comes out, I think we're probably in the middle of the bus tour. Come check us out on the bus. And I'm about to do my I'm about to shoot my special. And so I get, you know what? I do get being burned out and I could see being at the same school for fucking four years or whatever, same program for four years. And maybe they're telling you to take a little longer. I could see getting burned out, but I do think if you're getting burned out, you just have to have a read. You have to be honest with yourself. You might have to take a little bit of a reset. Maybe you need a little vacation. Maybe you need just some time away from your fucking bad habits and just realize like this is stopping me from the rest of my life. The longer I'm in this limbo, the worse it is for me. And you just got to do it. I don't know. You just need to fucking nut up and just shut the fuck up and do it, especially if your advisors want are telling you what to fucking do. Like that's the thing. Like with academia, they tell you what to do. And that's why I'm a little again, I'm a little dubious because it's like academia is bullshit. They just tell you what to do and you fucking do it. There's not that much fucking. There's not that much creativity and thinking. And if you're the kind of person who's been in a PhD program already, you know what the fuck to do. I don't know. This some about this is just something's off here. But if I'm wrong, I apologize. Maybe you're just a bad storyteller. You're not you're in biology, so you're not in the arts. But go ahead, Elvis. If you're presenting like this to the committee, I can see where they're coming totally no swag, no charisma. There is there is a lack of specificity. I do just like the thought of like someone and then accomplished program like biology, PhD at Harvard, just being, you know, very lackluster mediocre and just kind of like, I don't know, I could see it because I just I just think back to college and that I felt like this. Obviously, I wasn't getting a fucking PhD in biology, but I don't know. College looking back is like the stupidest, easiest thing you can just breeze through. Yeah, but it feels like so insurmountable at the time. And this guy says he's 26. I could see a world where he's just a fucking, you know, dumbass who just got on the fucking educational treadmill. And now he's like, what the fuck? That's a fair point. If if what's stopping you is like being like, oh, I'm at Harvard. Harvard's bullshit. If that's the thing that's like, because even says the only the only like moment of humanity is where he's like, I don't even know how I got here. It's like, dude, it's a fucking school you got in all schools are fuck or this at the end of the day, it's a school and you're just fucking there. Right. You just have to do what you need to do. If that's the thing that's stopping you from finishing, being like overwhelmed by it, just realize it's just a fucking school. It's the same as every other fucking school you want to finish it. And you know what? You're right. Think about my own college career. I when I was sure I didn't want to be when I wanted to stand up, I was like, I don't give a fuck. My grades tanked. I did a shittier job at the end. But you know what? Well, I guess I didn't technically finish because I don't have my language credits. But I graduated. I walked. Oh, you did. I walked the people. They tricked them into letting me walk because they they let you take your credits on this in the summer. If you're if you're like a certain number under. Oh, I did that exact same thing. Really? You didn't take a summer class. Oh, you did take it, though. Yeah, I took this summer class. Oh, I didn't take it. Oh, but you just told them. No, no, I didn't get the diploma, but I got the diploma. Oh, you didn't. Because I was like, I fuck a diploma. Oh, no, I got it. Yeah, I don't need this bullshit. And then I was a paralegal. I just lied about having a diploma. No one showed. No way. That is so funny. I knew you could get away with that. You definitely can. You just have to find the kinds of companies where two years after they hire you, one of the principal partners blows his brains out because they're all stealing money from each other. Did that happen? Oh, yeah. It was a really hilariously like a moral place to work. Everyone was a piece of shit. The whole company was stealing, like even though it was during the subprime mortgages and they were like taking people out of their houses. So I was just a very bad employee when I figured out we were doing. I was like, well, I'm going to be bad at work for political reasons. Yeah, yeah. It's my moral. You know, the reasons I'm not I'm playing fucking Kingdom Rush or whatever that game was like 10 years ago, or it's like, I have to get my Viking stats up so I can raid another village. Anyway, all right, whatever. I don't know. Did you any thoughts for this guy? I just don't read. I don't get it. If he's already at the end of the line, what's the big deal? Just do it. Just do it. Shut the fuck up or, you know, be like, stop, just don't do it. Your true passion. If you're going to keep gaming, he needs to do it. You think so? He can't. At this point, it is. It's just like, look, dude, just get it done. Who fucking cares? That's what I think. So fucking cares. I lost passion at the end, too. Just get it done. Rural Britain, is there any greater value out there than giga clear full fiber from only 19 pounds a month? It's out of this world. Speed and reliability, vast upload and downloadiness right here in rural tranquility. Saturn's rings. Is that a bull? Gigaclear, faster broadband for rural Britain from only 19 pounds a month. Season C's apply. 18 month contract. Prices may rise during contract. Check availability at gigaclear.com. Mm hmm. All right. Really good advice for that guy. Next question, Eldis. Hi, Stavibaby. Eldis, esteemed to guest. OK, I'm going to try and make this quick. OK. I have a friend. I've only known them for maybe like two, three years now. I'm done hanging out with them. They're the kind of friend who always like puts me down. They think I get like way drunker than I am when we go out. Awesome. Pause this. I think we don't have it. Incredible. She said they think I get way drunker than I am when we go out. I'm just going to tell you, sister, you're on thin ice with that comment. I am. It's like, it's like you still might be not a fucking piece of shit, but every person's like, I wasn't even that fucked up, dude. Very rarely are they the reasonable party when they're two people have fallen out. But we're going to we're going to take the cautious approach. We're going to give you the benefit of the doubt. Keep playing the keep playing, Eldis. Am when we go out and then they'll start telling everybody like my sexual conquest stories from my whole phase. I've done that are maybe embarrassing or private. And they're a big fan of putting me down in front of other people. Right. Also, there's things. It's always when there's other like single guys around, they love to make a fool out of me. I see. OK. I'm done hanging out with them. Fair. My thing is, do you think I owe it to them to let them know their behavior? Like, have we done this call before? I already know the kind of person they are. Kavya, the story is they told me about almost every single friendship group they've fallen out of over the past like 10 years. They haven't remained friends with Mary, one group of people because they're a fucking bitch. I guess that's my question. I feel like we like going close enough where I kind of feel like I owe it to them to let them know like, hey, no, these things of upset people. Fuck them. They know what they're doing. Or I don't know. Maybe they know well about who they are already. Of course. Advice would be appreciated. Yeah. Love this show. I love Albanians. I grew up around them. No. OK, well, that's your problem. Bad judgment. You love Albanians and this is one of your close friends. Albanians do like to do shit like this. That is true. This actually is an old world. This is petty little and the grinched it where yeah, I could see this kind of that's true. Oh, look, yeah, you're around like four hot girls like, look, oh, remember when fucking elder shit is pants? That is true. There's a lot of like stabbing your friends in the back and bullying is she's talking about getting bullied by her friend. She's being bullied. That just made me think of a problem I'm facing right now. I can't even think about helping her because do you want to do you want us to weigh in on your issues because we can. Fuck you. You want to speak about it and you don't have to get as specific or general as you want, but let us know. Similar situation. But like I made a friend like a while ago and like he actually started talking about a similar problem this woman had where like I have this friend and he kind of sucks. But I don't know whether to tell him like, listen, you suck. Right. But then later I found out that this friend like sexually assaulted this girl. Oh, my God. And then I stopped hanging out with him. Of course. And then I would just ignore like his texts and I just didn't know whether to like tell him why yours is a little different. She's in a like friend of me situation. You befriended a rapist unbeknownst to you. You befriended a rapist. And I think that's actually much more open and shut. Then my friend gets is kind of rude to me. But so OK, I'm glad we fixed your problem. Oh, should I tell him that he's a rapist? I don't. Oh, OK. I mean, that is actually up to you. I don't think you need to. It's actually what you feel, right? I think like, you know, you're not. You've done what you need to do by cutting this person out of your life. If they really because it's like it's not like he's one of your closest friends. Right. No, no. If it was somebody close to you where you actually were like cared about them, you would I think the right moves to be like, you need to make like you fucked up in a major way. You need to fucking repent, whatever that means, make it whatever. I mean, I don't know what it is in whatever way you need to make up for this shit. And, you know, but and then maybe you're fucking like if you have a friend who's done something horrible, then you just have to be like, dude, fix. You have to fix this or else, you know, not just me, but everybody in your life, you're going to be, you know, people are going to ban you. And by the way, it's not about you. You need to fucking fix the thing you did. But if he's like, if it was like you made a friend and they're a general friend and then you hear that they did something fucked up, it's like to me, if someone's already on thin ice or if like I'm just not that close to them and then they do something insanely fucked up, it's like, I'm not. It's not my fucking job to fix them. I just have to get them out of my life. OK, good. And I just don't support them. And yeah, just not supporting them, I think is the main the main thing, especially if they're just like not upfront about it or if they're lying or whatever the fuck. Now, in this girl's case, I think it's the kind of thing where, yes, this is kind of classic. These are the kind of friendships that are childish. This is like shit that is from high school, middle school. Like when you don't know to just be like, hey, man, don't treat me like that. Yeah. Like I had friends like that growing up. You just and especially I'm going to guess our caller here. I hear it. It's something I'm familiar with. She's probably a little people pleasy, right? Like that this is that that's I know this because I would fall into this trap of being in these kind of like fucked up relationships. And I'm going to guess she had a fucked up parent or two fucked up parents. Because like to me, this is classic. For me, all this shit stems from like my relationship with my dad, where it's just like you just want to fucking it was always easier to make an unreasonable person to bend towards them. Because then life is just easier if you just like instead of standing up for yourself. And that's a hard pattern to break. And I think that's what our friend here needs to do is just be like. Is to just cut them out of their life out of the life. Now, I would say. You're you're not going to accomplish anything by being like you have hurt my feelings and the way you behave is not acceptable, right? But because what's good? Here's what's good. I know exactly how that person is going to react. They're not going to be like, whoa, have I really been doing that? I should change. And even if they pretend they don't know in the back of their fucking head, they know or even in a more sinister way, it doesn't. They're the kind of person that's going to make themselves the victim. They're going to pretend like, oh, that's so unfair. Oh, I just I had a couple of jokes, but it wasn't the worst thing. Yeah, you're never going to get a satisfying. These people live in their own reality, you know, because if if they were honest with how they're mistreating people, they would feel very bad. But they convince themselves of what they're doing is just normal or it's just hazing or this would be friends is right. Having said that, for you, it would be a good exercise to set a boundary and be like, this is an unacceptable. You've treated me like this, this and this. Get ready for them to be like, no, I didn't. And then you're like, you actually did. And this is another problem is that you're a you fucking lie to me. You're like, what? You don't understand reality. And until you apologize for everything you've done and are realistic, we just we can never be friends again. That's if that's you can do that for you as a type of personal growth for almost like practicing standing up for yourself to somebody that doesn't matter. Somebody you've already written off and who deserves this like talking to. But if you if you don't feel like it and you're I your thought is like, do I owe it to them? You don't know them. Shit, you could just walk away. And if they're ever like, hey, why aren't you hanging out? It's like, oh, remember the fucking 15 times you pretend. And by the way, I want to apologize. I see what she means where she accuses her of getting too drunk. It's not that our friend here is too sloppy. It's that this person just like, oh, you should have seen fucking Michelle last week. She was fucking falling out of the cab. But you know, like just making it just making her feel it seemed like a piece of shit. So that's my I think this is a classic situation. A lot of people go through this. The earlier you get these kinds of people out of your life, the better. And so, yeah, just move forward. And at the root of this problem is your nature. Is you being a people pleaser? Is you attracting the type of people that because look, you might cut this girl out of your life. Other people will come back. That's how humans like how I don't understand why. But we just are. We are over and over going to track it to kind of the wrong people when you grow up in a fucked up situation. So this is going to happen again. And it's this is good for you to just have your fucking antenna up. But, you know, we're rooting for you. Good luck. Great advice. Thank you. Thank you. I've definitely felt I mean, I've dealt with that shit, too. I think it's hard. I always want to feel like I think of like the other person's position. I'm like, well, if I were them, I would really want somebody to tell me, like, hey, I'm acting fucked up. Like I always feel like am I like doing something wrong? No one's telling me. So like that part of me would want to like tell them, but like, you're right, that they would never treat a person like that. And by the way, if you if somebody told you something, you would listen and like because to that, you know, or at least you would like hear them out. Yeah. Or you would at least consider what they're saying is real. Whereas like, I think these people live in a kind of fake. Yeah, they just realize they rationalize things. And sometimes I'm jealous of it because I mean, they're too selfish, but like I'm it's it's not a bad thing to look out for yourself first. And I think it's important to look out for yourself first to have your basis covered. But that doesn't mean you can't be kind to other people. And in other times, in specific instances, put others first, that's like community, that's friendship, that's love, whatever. But sometimes I'm jealous of people who just like, no, I don't want to do that. Fuck you. Never any self doubt. Yeah. Yeah. Or just put the, you know, I think I think like people that doubt themselves could use a little more of that and they could use a nice dollop of self self, not even self doubt, maybe just a little self reflection. This whoever is like mean to her is not thinking is not considering what she's doing wrong for people. She's like, oh, come on, don't be a baby. And then she'll try and fuck her husband or whatever. This girl. Oh, OK, it was fucking Marty girl. Is that that big a deal? I sucked your husband's dick for two minutes. God, you're a bitch. Next question, Mr. Sula. Stop. Elvis, Steve, the guests love the show. Can't tell you how much I appreciate all the laughs and good advice for background. I'm 40, never married, no kids. Don't really want them. And I generally have my shit together. I'm recently out of a relationship and I've been casually dating around for at least a few months now, I would say. I lived in New York City and I'm not red pilled or addicted to Cal. She or crypto. That's what I've been doing pretty well on the dating front. It's that easy, boys. It's literally that easy. I'm sure he looks OK, too. The girl tonight is pretty awesome. First date situation, late 20s, really cute, great sense of humor, smart, cool job, politically aligned, all that. Go back to my place, start hooking up and the chemistry was great. But here's the issue. She has a very hairy ass crack. Like full on backside bush. Don't get me wrong. I'm an adult. I'm good with a regular bush. I've seen a lot my day, but the fart forest is a lot to handle, especially when I'm going down on her. Fuck her from behind. I try to see myself. He's like, pause to read his and fuck her from behind. That's so fucking funny. No, female upkeep is expensive and time consuming. But what do I do here? What do you do? Hope she takes it. Do I, you know, just hope she takes a cue from like my own hygiene habits? Do I tell her I want to your wax your lower back? Do I offer to pay for lasers? Help me out. Thanks, guys. This is a tough. I mean, dude, come on. There's no bush that is interfering with fucking the back. What is he's talking about her ass crack? He said her ass crack. So her like between her cheeks, she's got a very hairy between cheeks. Is that what he's saying? Is she thinks so? We're talking lower back into ass crack is what I'm imagining. I think so. I'm imagining kind of like a Maya situation. Of course. Well, that's the thing. We're talking we're talking to a Greek, Albanians and Muslims. So we know we know a thing or two about women with hairy lower back. You're not going to get a very sympathetic. This is the wrong. I've said this is the wrong. Fucking beautiful. The crew, they would have made her fucking Princess of Eldis's village. She's the least hairy Albanian. She'd be the least hairy Albanian. Look, brother, I don't know what to fucking tell you. You know what I mean? It's like, if this is her shit, that's how she wants to keep her shit up. That's up to her. You know, what if like it's literally like, I think this is just another a lot like in terms of saying something. I don't think you can say anything. This is like how she wants when you say upkeep your own body. It's like. Do you wax exactly like do you wax between your ass cheeks? You probably don't. You know what I mean? That's one for one. And so it's like, you know, some people like to have a fucking full creed. Some people prefer having a big, crazy bush, and that's how they want to live their life. And you can't as a sexual partner of what do you say, first date? Yeah, dude, you don't even fuck it. You haven't like maybe you could have this discussion if you're in a committed relationship in the way that's like, hey, what are some of your preferences that I might. And then you feel her out, right? She might be the kind of person who's like, I don't care either way. But if it matters to you, I'll follow. Yeah, sure. Who cares? Or she might be like, that's really fucking annoying or it wax, you know, waxing hurts me more, whatever. I'm allergic to certain. And I just would not do it. And that's really her choice. But right now, I don't think you have a leg to stand on. There is no way to bring this up early into dating and not seem like a dickhead. Like, is the rest of her she is like, is like that's just one like the right. She's talking about her high. His hygiene is her hygiene bad. Nothing he said. He said she has bad hygiene. She just has a hairy crack, which, you know, you see from time to time, sir, people have a hairy, they have their, you know, their, their cheeks are hairy in between. What are you going to do? I'm jealous of her that she's late 20s and already has gotten over the shame of a hairy ass. It took me to be like 34 to be like, oh, this is stupid. And I don't care if a guy doesn't want to fuck me because of any kind of fucking hair situation. It's like you're gay. Yeah. So. It is. Yeah. Unfortunately, it is eligible for a paw, a pause situation. This is like a paw. This is pause worthy. We're being like, you won't fuck her because, you know, she has a little hair on her. But it's like, again, I think I think pubic hair in general is a per like you can again, if you're in a relationship and you want to and you guys can talk about everything and you want to bring it up, that's one thing. But as a hookup, you got no leg to stand on here. In my opinion. And yeah, maybe you want to you want to make it a little again, until it's more serious, you just have to either it's part of the whole package and you have to decide if you like it or not. That's how I view it. But yeah, dude, what's the fucking be also? What's the big deal? Who fucking cares? No deal. She's great. She did. He described a great. She's awesome. And it is this is I know you're not cow she'd red pilled, whatever. You're a little in the zone with this particular take that you know, it's like just fuck. He's fuck a beautiful woman. And if she's got a hairy, if she's got a hairy cheeks like whatever, you know what I mean? That's that's her. All the problems in the world. How dare you? Also, it's like, yeah, man, that that part of the human body has hair. You know, like what are you going? Is it really about how it looks? Is it aesthetics when you're fucking someone? That's all it is. Or he doesn't like looking at it. It's like, who cares? It's more about feel a feeling than a. And it's also like you're really taking a very specific look at the crack when you're in like fucking from the back. That's nuts. Aren't you just enjoying the overall? Isn't it more about the whole body? Am I I'm not really looking at the ass crack when I'm fucking from behind. I'm trying to sneak a side view of a titty. I'm trying to fucking, you know, I'm looking at myself with a mirror and flexing. I just have mirrors set up just for me. And psycho. Yeah. The girl does not appear. I've designed it so the woman's not a pure and a single mirror. It's actually very hard to do to not get to the get her in any reflection. But I figured it out. Yeah. Good luck, bro. Just fucking accept either accept or if you can't deal with it, then you can't. Then it's just like a deal breaker. But I don't think you should live your life where that's a deal breaker. Ever wondered if the magic was real? Well, this is where it was made. The wonder of the Hogwarts Express. The chill of the forbidden forest. The secrets hidden in Gringotts Bank. You don't watch the films here. You feel them. Every spell, every creature, every detail. Immerse yourself in the filmmaking magic at Warner Brothers Studio Tour London. The making of Harry Potter. Tickets must be booked in advance. WBStudioTour.co.uk Thank you all so much for being here at our wedding. I can't believe I get to spend the rest of my life with the woman of my dreams. Speaking of dreams, have you ever dreamed of tasting all the colours of the rainbow? Because that is exactly what you get with Skittles. Five bold fruit flavours in every pack. Lemon, orange, lime, strawberry and blackcurrant. They're chewy. They're colourful. They're perfect. Just like my wife. So thank you for coming. And remember to buy Skittles. Shamelessly promote the rainbow. Taste the rainbow. LD. Hey, stuff. Love you big fan here. I'll try not to rainbow. But. So I'm going through this thing with my fiance. She. Had a bunch of stuff on her phone. You know, involved in like her access. She had a bunch of pictures. There are contacts, a bunch of messages. And she did the lead only because we got into like fights about it. Not fights, but like arguments. But, you know, stuff still comes up. She confessed to her sister one day that. She had thoughts of one of her exes that, you know, like what her life could be now and like in the future if they were so together. She thinks of them every day. Every kind of argued about that. And she tried to reassure me that. A little worried. That in her private moments with her sister, she confessed to thinking about her ex every day. This wasn't like, like, look, whatever, everybody, you can't help those thoughts. Even if you're in a happy relationship, sometimes like. The human mind has a real talent for nostalgia and for remembering things way better than they are. Right. So in moments when things are hard, everybody kind of thinks like, and sometimes your brain picks out someone you forgot about. You're like, maybe I should have married her. And it's like, what the fucking alcoholic you dated when you were 22? You think that's usually that was your true love. But so, okay, from time to time, if somebody pops into your head and you're like, that's fucking stupid. That's not the end of the world. But every day is one of the most fucking insane things I've ever heard. But let's, there's more to the call. You know, we're spending our lives together and she's over him. I don't know if I buy it. I don't. You know, she still has a bunch of guys on her Snapchat. You know, that she obviously has talked to in the past. Is he just going to a friend home? I haven't seen her talk to anybody on Snapchat besides like her bureau friends. So I don't know. Am I overreacting? No. You know, should I tell her how old that she should be deleting this stuff? You know, especially for spending our life together. Oh man. Is that he's so cooked. She doesn't have time to go to and to do everything. It's fucking so defeated. She is constantly on her phone to be fair. I don't know. Some advice would be helpful. Oh no, dude. Fuck, you're fucked. The advice is you're fucked, chief. I mean, yeah. The sooner you end this, the better. That really hurts me. I know. I have nightmares about like finding something like that out about the person I'm with. Like it just shatters your world. Of course. Of course. Yeah. Yeah. And like dude, he sounds young. I don't know. Maybe he's not. He sounds young. He also said it's like his fiance. That is tough. I can see it being like a been together since, you know, maybe high school, 18s or something. And they just ended up getting engaged. And it's clearly white trash. Fiancé is like that's less secure than girlfriend. Some happens with white trash. Once the ring is out where they the cheating. It's like, it's like when you really turn up, it's like the mini boss is harder than the boss. It's like if white trash can survive an engagement, they can probably get married. But there's something about fiance where it's just kind of maybe because it's French, it makes you want to cheat more, that title. But yeah, dude, I'm sorry, you're fucked in every way here. It sounds so unhealthy because he's clearly going through her phone. That's another thing. It's like, okay, let's take things step by step. Why do you have so much information about her phone? How did you learn about the conversation with her sister? Who let you in on that? The sister? Because if the sister did it, that means it was so bad that somebody's flesh and blood was like, I owe it to Jeff to let him know. You know what I mean? Like, because if the sister confessed, that's bad. That's her trying to be like, you're a nice guy. My sister's going to ruin your life. Or the sister's a meddlesome whore who's trying to be like drama or whatever. That also seems like a little white trash detail as well. Just like the sister with the loose lips. Oh my God. What if I just stayed with Bill? Sure. He had a heavy right hook, but everything else was awesome. He wasn't a fucking bitch like Michael always asks me about my feelings. Shut the fuck up. How can I be attracted to you when you care about me as a human being? Yeah, I mean, dude, that's tough. I know you're right. Her sister. Now he is. Look, he's a good kid, but I see what you're saying. And there's like, maybe I shall fuck him. I'll tell him about this. And they have some rivalry that they're, you know what I mean? You're a pawn in their white trash game. Yeah, buddy. So that's number one. How are you getting all this information? Are you have you been? Did you accidentally find something? And this is and this is her damage control. Is this her lie? Her halfway truth to make you feel better? Because this is devastating if it's the worst of it. If this is like, she's actually been fucking her ex and she's like, Oh no, I didn't fuck him. I just I told my sister, I think about him every day. I'm sorry, man. I have no read of this. I'm trying not to be this fucking harsh, but there is no read of this. Like knee jerk where that even if she's not, right? Let's say she's not cheating and these, this is stuff that she's hung up on whatever. And she hasn't done anything untoward yet. The clock's ticking. Oh, yeah. And it's the kind of thing where best case scenario, she's the kind of person who is trying to get a rise out of you. She's been like best case. She's doing all this shit because she wants you to be like, Who the fuck? What the hell the fuck? She like thrives off of a little like being scolded or like, you know, you having to step in what? At like, I don't know. That's to me, that's the only and that's not good. But I think it's like somebody who wants drama in their relationship is the best case scenario. Worst case scenario is she is right now cheating on you. The middle way is she probably, she maybe isn't yet, but if these trends continue, it's going to happen. So to me, get the fuck out of there fast. Get the ring back first. Yeah. Make sure you get the money back. Get the ring back. Claire's will take your, if you kept the receipt, they'll give you a back. Whatever fucking pawn shop you bought it from, you can get back your lawn mower that you gave them for an exchange for it. Oh my God. This is a mindset I cannot relate to. I've gotten out of relationships for so much less. Like I can't imagine like having to ask for advice about this where like, I would have been gone so long ago. And how would you, do you have like, breaking up, is that a problem for you? Or do you feel energized to do it? Or do you just leave and let them figure it out? When you say you leave, like, it's not a problem. I mean, I think I need like a period of processing and to like, figure out it's, that's what I really want. And then it's just like, yeah, it's, it's over. That's good. Yeah. I have, I mean, any big, I think going back to the people pleasing thing, any big conversation where somebody's feelings get hurt, it takes me a little while to, unless I'm like emotionally in the moment and I can just, I'm trying to get better at just reacting to my emotions instead of just like, you know, feeling something. I'm being like, no, no, no, don't do that. That people get mad. When I can do it right away, it's freeing. But then the, if I don't do it immediately when I realize it, it just, the longer I wait, the harder it is. But yeah, sorry to this kid. I just don't, maybe, look, maybe the people will disagree with me. But this is one of those where I just, my spidey senses are going crazy. It's so clear. It's so clear. Crazy, dude. So yeah, brother, good luck. You know, get back out there. Start your life over. Do not get married to this woman. That's, that's one thing I can say. Don't get married to her. Whatever you do. Tough. Poor, how defeated he sounded. Been there. I've definitely been there when I was really young. And it's just like, some, somebody just hurting your feelings. I mean, this is close. This is kind of similar to the girl whose friend was bullying her. It's just romantic versus platonic. Any mistreatment over time. It's like, you got to stand up for yourself. You don't want to be in the kind of relationship where this, where somebody just does this, behaves this way. And again, we're really bearing the things about her ex every day thing. That's fucking nuts. And it's just really sad to hear a guy with that voice, like imagining him in the room with her, like trying to get angry and stern, but he can't even get there. He can't get there. He's like, why don't you look through your phone? Or are you talking to him? Why do you have so many people on Snapchat? And he just kind of knows, he knows. I know. Asking questions you know the answer to. She doesn't give a fuck. Right. And eventually, like it's like, at a certain point, what you want is like to be treated like the Iraq war, where they at least lie to you. They at least cared. Right now you're in the Iraq war part of this relationship, where she's going to go at length to cover up. And she's going to lie. And it's going to sound plausible at first. And very soon you'll be at the Iran war, where it's like, before you know it, you just open your fucking scion TC and she's sucking dick in there. And you're like, oh, what the hell? And she's like, oh, this is my private time. You know what this is. You know what it is. Shut up. I'm not even cheating. And you're like, really? Like, no. Go back inside. I'll be in in 20 minutes. So yeah, dude, get the fuck out. I'm sorry, man. I'm sorry to be so blunt. We just, I completely misread the situation. I ruined his life. Because he's a bad storyteller with a flat affect. Give us one more little LD. Hey, staff. Elders being guests. I don't really have a question, but it's more of a, I guess, insight. Based on your latest podcast with Rufa. You talk about what is 16 and 20? Like, you know, you get pussy at that age. You talk about how your whole personality is just like trying to get pussy the whole time. Sure. I lost my virginity at 16. Like expert ways in. You guys can be out of the glass with never really having to... Pause this. I didn't actually, I know what it's like, man. You don't have to explain it like it's fucking, like it's going like, what's it like actually being in Beijing? It's like, I have a feel like, I think I know what it would have been like. But go ahead, man. Bragg about getting pussy at 16 without having to try. You really are bad at screening calls, Elders. Well, I lost my virginity at 16. I guess if that was blessed with never really having to... See the humble brag? Jesus Christ. I don't know. Work hard to get pussy. It was bloody. Yeah, the octave jump. 16 to 20 looks the same. You're always trying to get pussy, even if you did get pussy. No, it doesn't. You're still trying to get pussy all the time. No, man. It's not the same... I'm a 35 year old, man. I have a wife, a beautiful one year old child, life expecting. But, you know, I think with the birth of my son, I changed my life and I finally decided to like stop thinking about pussy. Stop cheating on my wife with 16 year olds. He was always thinking about it, bro. So it would have been the same even if you got late at 16. No. I don't know. This is a horrible call in every way, Elders. Not only did you let him slip through just bragging that he got pussy at 16, but he didn't even offer an interesting counterpoint. He's like, oh, I wouldn't have been the same. It's like, no, it fundamentally would not have been. And you don't know that. This guy doesn't know just because it's like, yeah, when, okay, the guy who had a big meal, right, is, let's say a guy who has breakfast, is he, sure he'll have dinner, but is he as hungry as a guy who didn't have breakfast? No, man. It's that fucking simple. And you don't know the existential dread of being like, am I just going to be a virgin forever? That hanging over your head is crazy. Also, it's like one of those things that immediately is gone. The second you have sex, it disappears. And it was, it dictated your whole life. Your whole identity is like, am I just a loser that's never going to get pussy? So all due respect, man, you have no fucking idea what it's like 16 to 20 if you don't get pussy. All right? Just because you also, I didn't say you'd fuck once and stop wanting to fuck, but it just would stop being a, a central part of your fucking identity, I guess is my, is my point. We'd have more confidence. More confidence. It wouldn't be a big deal. You know what I mean? Like just because you're a simpleton who didn't get past wanting to get pussy, I am that way for psychological reasons. Okay. All right. Maybe coming around to maybe I see what he's saying that we're all just base animal that are going to want to fuck no matter what. But still, there's just something about that being a loser. Shit that you're also like the social and you're scared to get fucking exposed as a virgin. You have all these, you obfuscate. You never, you never say you're like the hardest thing in high school. Everybody grows up together. They've known each other. It's not a big deal, whatever. But when you go to college and you just, you just don't say you're a virgin, you know, and you just have to kind of pretend or you just like, you just kind of, you never want to be on the record. It's like now it's like politicians, whether they've taken money from APAC or not. You know what I mean? It's like they don't want to, now they can't exactly like, well, I, you know, I'm a friend to our allies. You know, they, they talk in, that's me talking in general terms. I'm like, oh dude, yeah, I'm just going to parties, chicks are around. You know, it's like, and it's like, you never admit you didn't get pussy. But then you're like, what if I'm exposed one day or somebody, or God forbid someone just directly asks you, hey, have you ever fucked? And they'll be like, what done? And then you're forced to lie for real for the first, that's tough. When you have to just lie and you have to keep straight, like, who have I lied to? Who knows? I had a guy confess to me while we were having sex that he was a virgin. While? That's crazy. I thought it was cute. Yeah. Yeah. I think it's, yes, that's the other way of thinking. Like dudes, it's all in your head that you're a loser, but I do think it would be endearing to the right person, you know? Because it's like, because it's, it's kind of classically rooted in the like, a lot of straight behavior. And you see it with all the mannisfyr stuff now where it's like, some of the very like toxic straight stuff is actually incredibly gay activity, like homo social activity where it's like, like not the people you're afraid of, is the scorn of other men about being a virgin. It's like, it's like the way other guys see you. Whereas like women, I don't think like some women would think you're a loser obviously, but some might actually find it cute or endearing. So anyway, fuck you, man. Shut the fuck off. You don't know what the fuck I went through, man. What a weird call. I know. Elda, just a bad producer. I don't know if this is part. What else is new, folks? We're all, we know the podcast. It's one of the signature elements is that it really sucks dick some of the time. But I think that's going to do it for us. Dina, thank you so much. This is so great. Thank you so much, man. Super fun. Yeah, check out. We'll link to the punch up. Check out the special. See us on tour if we're still on tour. Or if you're in Baltimore, the, we've probably at this point released a couple, well actually, I don't know when this comes out. So I won't, I won't say anything. But listen, keep an eye out in Baltimore. We're going to, we're going to try and get the special tapings as full as we can. So we might be releasing last minute tickets if you haven't gotten them yet. We'll see. But in any case, thanks for listening and we will talk to you next time. Bye bye. You going to play us out or what the fuck? Ever wondered if the magic was real? Well, this is where it was made. The wonder of the Hogwarts Express. The chill of the forbidden forest. The secrets hidden in Gringotts bank. You don't watch the films here. You feel them. Every spell, every creature, every detail. Immerse yourself in the filmmaking magic at Warner Brothers Studio Tour London. The making of Harry Potter. 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