John Densmore + Michael Dubin (Carolla Classics)

Welcome to Cruel Classics, I'm your host Superfan Giovanni and this is the podcast where we play the best moments highlights and fan selected clips from all 17 years of the Adam Coroll show. We have a companion podcast titled Cruel Classics and you can find the ad free archives exclusively available through podcast 1.plus. If you'd like to find the ad free archives of the Adam Corolla show as well as the Adam and Dr. Drew show and the podcast beat it out, make sure to check out Adam Corolla's sub stack, AdamCrolla.substack.com. If you'd like to request a clip, please email us at classicsandAdamCrolla.com. Alright, let's get to the clips. Coming up first we have Adam Corolla show 1046, this one's from 2013, featuring guest Michael Dubin along with Allison Rosen and Brian Bishop. Hope you guys enjoy. Welcome to the program, good day Allison Rosen. Hello Adam Corolla. Good day Bald Brian. Hey hey hey, don't you guys think, a couple experiences today, don't you think you can kind of tell a lot about an individual by just how they park their car? How they choose to park their car? First off, do you need more than to just sort of study parking patterns to know if you would be compatible with this person, if this is a good person or if this is a selfish person? It speaks volumes, unlike the condition or dirtiness of the car which has nothing to do with the quality of the person who drives it. That is right Bert Chipmobile. You know why it's a great tell of a person's whatever, because everything else a person, the dress, their whatever, their hairstyle or lack thereof, it's all conscious. This is all, this is how I present myself. The parking is completely subconscious. They're here, they're at their place and they're parking. I, yes, I, and we always hear those studies where it takes people an average of 2 minutes and 21 seconds to pull out of a parking spot, but if someone's waiting for it it goes up to 3 minutes and 18 seconds or something like that. Which is sad, but sadly I believe it. But I do, I like watch the way people park and not only the way they park in terms of are they selfish, are they humanitarians, but just what's the thinking behind it? Examples? Yes, it happens. In this room? It happens today. Well no. Occasionally people come do the show and I have a parking lot here that probably holds 10, 11 cars and they will park their car at the end of the gate that leads into the driveway like a cork on our parking lot. Like they'll put a cork, they'll literally like park their car and they won't pull up. They could pull up. There's a car in front of them, but it's 20 feet in front of them and it won't solve everything, but if they pull all the way up then 8 of the 11 cars can get out, but they'll just park it like a fucking car cork at the top of the parking lot. Like a tampon. That's an interesting one. They're, they're the ones, they're also the people that will not fucking pull up. They just won't pull up and then there's the, I will park behind you and I'll tell you what happened. Here's what happened to me. I have hypervigilance so I'm, everything in life bugs the shit out of me and, and also I can't figure it out. Like I'm doing an interview with a radio station today and Stacey, the tutor pulls up to tutor the kids and I'm just hovering around my office. They're sorry, but no, they're not in first grade yet. They're being carried on. I don't know. They're falling behind and they're taste-eating. I don't know. It might be that all the parents have tutors for their kids so therefore your kid will fall behind without Stacey. Something like that. Anyway, whatever. She's coming over to do some tutoring and I'm on the phone and I hear from Olga that she's taken Natalia out and they're going ice skating or whatever it is. So I'm just up in the office and I'm watching Stacey and Stacey's pulling up and even though there's more than cars with parking space next to Olga's car, she chooses to stop and just park right behind Olga's car and get out of her car and come to the house. Now Olga's not going to be able to get out with the other kid. I don't know why you would ever stop behind somebody in a driveway because you don't know when and if and how and where that person is always pulled next to them because that always then gives them the option of backing out, not having the hey, you're blocking me in thing. And there's ample room. A good person just chooses to. And I'm like talking to a radio station. I'm looking out the window wanting to yell, pull up. I have people come to my house all the time, pull 10 feet up the driveway and just park at the bottom, meaning like nobody's getting out of this place. I don't know what goes. I really honestly don't know what goes on. But later on she went out to get some out of her car and I yelled out the radio, put the phone down and yelled out the window, pull up next to her because she could be leaving or not or whatever. Why the option? Why the impulse? But then the second impulse, which is a weird thing to do is Stacy rang the gate and the phone, you know, the thing was ringing and it was announced. Oh, Stacy's here. And then I continued my radio interview and then about two and a half to six minutes later there was on the front door. But everyone who announced Stacy here was here was in a bathroom doing something and it was like, you do know the person who's coming to our house is going to be approaching a door at some point because you just opened a gate for them. Yeah, so why it's you can call it my hyper vigilance. I know that would be the worst time to go to the bathroom when you know someone's going to be at the door and like. Right. So my hyper vigilance sort of ruins everything because I'm like what come. No one has unlocked the door and I'm talking to a radio station and why Stacy's car park park behind that. Whatever. But then I just realized you probably could just follow a person around and just sort of figure out where their head was at by how they parked. Don't think Stacy's a bad person. I'm not sure why she wouldn't slide up next to somebody instead and choose to block that person might have had a thought. My have not made may have not. I'd like to know the people that do the park job where they straddle the two things so they take up to parking spaces but they never get their car door dinged or anything that person fucking maniac the person that gets into the car when there's a. You know when they're you just go into those parking lots where there's a lot of activity like a lot of trolling for spaces like sometimes at the airport sometimes at like the Costco on a Saturday you see people they're trolling they're just driving they're constantly just going in a circle looking for a spot and then you see that person get into the car and they get in the car and they're just having a they're doing some texting before they go anywhere they're not going anywhere. And they should be abundantly aware of what's going on because a they probably trolled for parking space and found one themselves be it's a beehive of activity with no parking spaces and then see you can physically see people put their blinkers on and pull up to your space as you get into your car and sometimes even follow you see I had the experience and I'm this I'm the bad person sometimes it's hard to find parking at Irvine improv where we do shows so it took me a while to get a spot and then I pulled into the spot and then I finished putting on makeup because my car is my green room at that point but then there were a lot of people I assume I don't know they said a child knocked at my window and that's how unaware I was that I jumped at a six year old and they wanted to know if I was leaving doing your bidding I don't know I'm getting my kids to do that. Here's the other guy and this guy can't figure out this guy's my dad and maybe everyone's dad but there are a lot of these people out there it's been discussed before but I don't feel like society gives it enough attention. Yeah hello. When I tell my dad follow me to the restaurant and then I get my car and I start driving at a normal speed and at some point I look at my rear view and he is 17 clicks behind me and four other cars have slid in between my rear bumper and his front bumper and I think to myself first thing old man I said follow me not not be a caboose in this retard train and secondly you don't know where this restaurant is right so you must thus follow me now I'm not talking about bump drafting like it's Nascar but I mean feel free to kind of stay up on me right and then there's that thing where you inevitably make a signal that they don't make because you're 1400 yards in front of them and then you have to like pull over in front of a 7-11 driveway and there's that weird move where you're like waving people around like I'm not parking here I'm trying to pull over I don't want to pull up and turn off into a side street I can't see the guy anymore now you're waiting and they're like what just what part of follow me did we not now there is the overzealous cousin to this person who you will casually change lanes in a freeway that has no off ramp overpasses or exchanges to be seen by the naked eye and he will cut off a cattle truck swerving stay with your every beat like he's a cornerback and you're running around on him that's I double move and he's got yeah I kind of like that guy but he's still kind of an idiot like I'm obviously I'm just moving on drifting over toward the toward the left lane I'm not going to hit that following someone that's how I am I'm like I'm never more angry than if a car gets in between us like oh no I like I like it but I swear to God I've told multiple people like follow me and they're very happy to let three and four cars slide in between them they miss lights like just and I'm so relaxed about it that's yeah you think they because it's over me I and that was my only way to get to wherever we're going I would be getting nervous when you don't know where you're going and this sometimes is even pre like cell phone so you couldn't call the person up and follow me I don't know much clear I can be and I would then intentionally drive 15% slower to accommodate that person and it's still they would let this huge chasm gather up between me and their vehicle don't I know there's out of it. But again what would be the end game who's going to get you yes I will get to the restaurant you will not get to the restaurant. All right. A couple other things saw few things today. One over and did a little family guy work a little pickup work the actress Carrie Fisher was coming in second had this great conversation with Carrie Fisher about her service dog. This is great. It's a great moment she's like oh oh she was she came in when I was I was leaving all the actors are sort of meet about the same time they'll have all your scripts laid out of your parts highlighted and they'll have you know you'll you'll get to see by how they have it laid out. You'll get to see who else is coming in that day because you wait around for 15 minutes and you'll see Mila Kune so whoever's coming in to do the voice over stuff and so there's there's Carrie Fisher so I was like hey how you doing and we're introduced and stuff like that she's like oh man I'm really not in a good way and I was like why what's going on and we're having a bad day what's going on and she goes. I came in here with my dog and that security guard would not let my dog up through the building and into the elevators and I remember I was like doing a fist pump like good good. What's your fucking dog in here and then I said well you know you need that you need that service dog fast for for the dog and she's like I have a service dog best and then certain points you said something funny she goes I should have one of those best. That's a good idea why limit it to the animal who's who's the nut job here not the dog. The dogs why is the dog have to get the scarlet vest you know what I mean they're not the one who's precariously balanced on the sort of sanity ledge that's you who's nuts and yet you have to have the dog fucking have this bad fair of insanity on them so yeah you should have a service sweater. So I said that you know crossing guards have one why not you so I said yeah it's funny and I said well where's the dog well sit down in the car so I hope you get that worked out and I but I remember thinking good. I mean I didn't have anything against her I just remember thinking everyone with their fucking pets everywhere and I'm glad there's a security guy going hey there's a place of business you can't go in with your dog. There's plenty of again I would just love to see the look on anyone's face if you just lit up a cigarette anywhere. If you had a cigarette go well my service cigarette mini vest for the cigarette. Well I I hear can I argue can I argue this you guys tell me you guys tell me and emotionally from just a pure emotional standpoint telling a guy who is a smoker a real smoker like two pack a day smoker guy who lights one cigarette off the next cigarette telling that dude hey you're going to go to a place namely the airport there's going to be security. There's David tell would never go there. Yeah it's going to be a six hour flight there's going to be a whole bunch of stuff involved here basically what I need you to do is go eight or nine hours without smoking. In terms of emotional impact more or less than being a nervous flyer you know what I mean like I would argue that that guy gets more out of his cigarettes then you get out of that fucking bowser on your lap. You know what I'm saying yeah so that's my cigarette that's why you should be able to say I this is my emotional cigarette my doctor said wow yeah. We're not that far off from having someone say I need these cigarettes. Doctors I'm addicted to these cigarettes and you're asking me to go six hours without smoking them and you get to have your dog because you're a little nervous about flying well I want my cigarettes were flying but she did not have a dog. I went in did my voice over work and then I walked out and there she was with her dog. I was doing that thing where I was trying to pet it but I didn't know to go low or high five you know what I mean like here's your change or up top you know I when I did the up on the head thing I was getting the tongue with the head tilted back when I do the under the chin one that's getting the head down you know it's like you did that to yeah yeah yeah yeah I want to make up your mind dog I'm trying to I'm trying to miss Jowell and tongue and trying to get that sweet spot right between that that nice bone right between the bridge there just that that nice clean part there I can give you nice pet miss the tongue got the tongue on the hand there was a dog by the way on the sofa on the sofa arm just like up on the sofa just like running around on the furniture and I said why is this okay how did you ever did you find out how it happened that she got her dog in she told raised a little hell you know got somebody from the family guy did whatever somebody went down and said hey listen that's missus you know that's very fish and that's her dog and she needs a blah blah blah and she doesn't do V.O. work without a fucking more like a friend exer but the dog was on the sofa the dog was not on the floor preventing seizures it was just on the fucking sofa and again your dog on everyone else's furniture and is there somebody is going to do I can tell you right now Jimmy Kimmel's allergic to dog so if he was coming in and doing a voice over that afternoon his eyes would start would start watering and swell up if he had to then go sit on that same sofa don't understand it don't get it but all I can tell you is I yelled out about six months ago it is game on in it is on and I mean on fucking fire this is not a slow burn this is not smoldering rags it's on fire it's not the dogs it's not any of this stuff it's a narcissism that is sweeping over this nation like a fucking tsunami and we're all going to get swept up in it and I wonder what her why she needed the dog with the with the medical what it says on the form you know I'm saying the form that lists the dog I wonder what it says well nobody needs a dog to fly with them and nobody needs a dog to do voice over work nobody needs that no nobody needs it no matter what you say nobody needs it apparently princess Lynn I tell you how I know nobody needs it nobody had it four years ago and it didn't exist eight years ago I mean blind people had fucking dogs and even that pissed me off but it's willing to look the other way they turn a blind eye to it the other day I saw a blind couple walking down the street together she was holding his arm and I thought oh how sweet and also where did they meet and but I was staring at them and I felt bad for a second and then I realized I don't need to know bad no they were a couple they found each other somehow and they can't see me and by the way she's bipolar but nobody needs it and that thing of like well if it relaxed is her then what's so wrong well you know what we're you know relaxes me masturbate I really it's there's Lee and loudly I had to blow off a little steam masturbating but that's not allowed in public I'm on is that not a while they got bathrooms on airplanes but not in the aisles but I'm saying this is there's shit that you do that is not really for other people on the airplane or other people in the elevator I like to pick my nose and belch there you go and I like to I like to curse I like to pick my nose and curse masturbation's nice there's lots of things I like to do but but they're not done because you're sharing a public space with other people and somebody might be offended or put off by that or maybe just doesn't want to share a seat or an aisle with somebody who's engaging in this behavior but perhaps I don't want to share my life with your mind that's that's all I'm saying it's officially on and what we need to do and what these people need and what they don't know they need is every time you go somewhere with that dog to prevent your mood swing you then become dependent on the dog and it thus reinforces that behavior self-fulfilling prophecy and now you cannot go anywhere it's the chap stick theory of life once you start using chap stick you have to use it more and more and then you become dependent on it and then you can't leave the phone without it as you know I have a puppy and whenever I take that dog out it actually I mean I love him but it causes me more stress is that because he's a puppy yes okay and it's because you're saying all right we'll do a little on Mr. Brightside first fight club dot com march madness you got a bracket buster have your brackets been busted how about it how about you go to fight club dot com you get back in the action a lot of you guys been sidelined because a little bracket issue yeah now you get back goes out and screwed that's right you just pick five players you think will do the best that day and you compete against another fan for real money I like this and look maybe it's just fun maybe it's low stakes two bucks maybe it's five hundred bucks whatever you decide head to head head to head you go and I don't mean that no more rock way very straight gambling way head to head that's how you do it up to a grand by the way oh this is fun now next into our talk you down though you can see my two hundred fifty dollar team on Saturday's games on my Twitter account if you want and if they win my staff's getting a what a dinner on me no this is bullshit I gotta follow this team and agree to that all right enjoy fight club dot com that is fight club dot com check it out right now get a free five dollar credit when you join that is fight club dot com you're still in it man fight club dot com all right what do we got here want to do a little Mr. Brightside life got you down can't catch a break thinking about ending it all well don't let Adam turn your frown upside down it's time for Mr. Brightside oh right let's see you want to refresh the the parameters of the game it's been a long time since we've done this I think it's been many years I think look you think you got problems I'm here to tell you that people got bigger problems than you no matter what your problems are so look on the Brightside that's right it's the opposite of what you can't complain about someone goes up something horrible and you're like well think about this I'm I'm showing you my my range when I do this as an actor Hey man Hey public public public public public public public public public public public public public public public public public public public public public public public public public public public public public public public public public public public public public public public public public public public public public public public public public public public public public public public public public public public public public public public public public public public public public public public public public public public public public public public public public public public public public public public public public public public public public public public public public public public public public public public public public public public public public public public public public public public public public public public public public public public public public public public public public public public public public public public public public public public public public public public public public public public public public public public public public public public public public public public public public public public public public public public public public public public public public public public public public public public public public public public public public public public public public public public public public public public public public public public public public public public public public public public public public public public public public public public public public public to go to diabetes. Well guess who's nine ounces lighter. Yeah. How much do you weigh, Kletis? 275. All right. I mean now 274 and a quarter. But ace man, beach season's coming up. Hold on. Into the microphone. Is bee season coming up? Beach. The beach. Oh the beach. Beach season. I got you. And flip flops. And how's that going to look with a missing two toes, man? Well a couple things. I need some cheering up, brother. Couple. All right. I will cheer you up. A few things you should know. First off, your toenail clippers are going to last 20% longer than almost everyone you know. You know what I mean? I go through fucking toenail clippers. Are they disposable? I find myself saying. Yeah. So your toenail clippers where most people would only last let's say eight years. Yours is going to last 10 years. Lots of 20% savings. Yeah. Yeah. So I mean nest feathered with just the savings from toenail clippers. All right. Number one. Number two, this is a nice conversation piece. You know what I mean? And saying you lost them because you're morbidly obese and you didn't correctly work your insulin levels. Not a good idea. Sword fight. Good. Bitten off by Komodo dragon. Great. Great. You know what I mean? I mean this is sword fight the Komodo dragon. That's right. That's right. I mean the conversation you can have you know, even you go table saw. What? You were milling wood? Hey baby, I'm multitask. I mean you know what I mean? This is a conversation starter. Also it's the kind of thing where if you ever want to just go with a sock and a shoe, no one's ever going to figure out that you're missing a couple of toes. Same foot? Did you mix it up? Yeah. The one that went to the market and the other one right next to it. We all the way home and then the guy right next to it. The ring toe and the piggy. Yeah. Piggy. So is that the small one? I think it's the two small ones. Yeah. Oh, the two small ones? We all the way home and the guy right next to him. I'm doing it backwards so I can't. Right. All right. You've cut down on your surface area for athlete's foot. It's the one who had none. Yeah. There's the gromatosis which you've cut down. You've cut down on all foot related. There's a lot of foot related shit. Also, I mean there's a lot of nothing good really comes from your foot. You know, it's not like your toes ever invented something. Yeah. If you have nothing done to your foot is the best. You know what I mean? No tonal fungus, no athlete's foot. And by the way that little that little toe is the one you kick the metal bed frame on in the morning when it's cold and it just takes a fucking beating. I listen. If someone would have given me a choice at birth, if I could just remove my son's two outer toes on that I would have said fine, make a necklace. Let's do it. Bullet dodge, Cletus. What about my bracket, man? Arizona law. Well, look, I'm telling you, FightClub.com. That's good stuff, Ace. Man, that's why you're number one baby. I love you, brother. Love you, baby. All right. And if someone ever wants to, you know, check out how warm the pool is and dip a toe in the water, you don't have to get off your chair. You literally just throw your toe in the water. That'd be the greatest thing ever. They came in his toes back when they amputated them? I'd assume they're yours. That'd be the funniest prank ever. Let me check out how cold the pool is. I'm gonna put a toe in there and everyone will be sitting there and you just go, Pshh. And they go, What are you doing? Yeah, just put a toe in. Good stuff, right? For the party. All right. Let's see. Someone sits in a cubicle 45 hours a day. That sounds bad. Let's see. Girl he's really into. Oh, cursed him out. Let's see. Let's talk to Charles. Charles. Yes, sir. 22. What's going on? Well, Adam, I'm a huge fan. I know you get it all the time. You're probably sick of hearing it, but just want to let you know that I've had a real crap day today, man. I know you hear it all the time, blah, blah, blah, but girls, man, you're the master of lady friends, it seems like, from what I hear about your shows and what's your question, Charles? So this girl been into for a while. We've had a thing way back when months ago, nothing, nothing recent. I finally run into her on campus today and kind of try to talk to her smile, be nice and kick me, kick me, you know, out the door kind of thing, you know, cut me out and get the hell out of my face kind of thing. And I really like this show, you know, and don't believe it. I don't believe any of it. You don't believe it? No. Well, Adam, I don't have the best luck with girls, man. I don't, I don't, I don't really, maybe I said the wrong thing or I'm not buying it. It's has a waste of my time. Feels bogus to me. Bogus. Now it's super bogus. Now it's super bogus. Oh man, well, all right, maybe it is, but all right. All right. Awesome. It was a good try. What was the tell? The lack of specificity? I don't know. You know, what you've done, what I've done for as many years as I've done it, you just become like a cop, you know, and like a film or Judge Judy, or Judge Judy, or you just kind of smell stuff and it's like, doesn't feel right. It's talking. He doesn't really have a question. That's right. All right. Shall we let's see? And this guy. Now listen, I don't know what line two's name is. Do you you phase you? You phase you. All right. Hey, tell me your phase. Yo, what's up, Adam? What's going on? Oh, I see was written phonetically for me. Sorry. Yeah. Thanks guys. From real value. Hey, dude, I have a problem. I need to get a solution. All right. You've been going out for 10 years. I don't hand out solutions. I just hand out good feelings. All right on or inspiration, empowerment. That's better than a solution. Right on. Took the words right out of my mouth. You are the man. Thanks. Anyhow, I want to set this up. I hope I don't have any kind of pressure for like, you know, editing or whatever, but I have been having a shitty day minus six days before that. I lost my wallet at Home Depot. I was finishing up a fans project, right? And I was talking to this chick already or whatever on the phone. And for some reason, because I get fratelly from all these other people I run into. No pun intended. I actually may have left my wallet on the ledger, the truck bed or the bumper. That's bad times. Yeah. And you know, my wall was gone. 50 bucks. My mom's debit card was replaced. Your mom's debit card. Yeah. And are you employed? Do you have a job? I am unemployed since 2006. What's what was your gig? Real disjointed on air personality, promotion resistance. Really? Yeah, broadcasting. And I've been just playing on the phone. Wait a minute. Is this Charles St. Pierre? Is that your on the air name? No, no, no, no, not at all. I don't even know what a name could be, but... Wait a minute. You were on the air talent? Yeah, I worked at different radio stations. The microphone was hooked up to something or they just gave you a microphone? No, they gave me a telephone and then they tried to get me to like, you know, call up. But then I was actually in studio at other stations, too. Great story. And Uphazio? Yeah. And then you got fired? No, no, I didn't get fired. I got fired from different other radio station jobs. Yeah, I worked there. I couldn't resist if I was firing Uphazio. I would just go, Uphazio, we have to Uphazio out. Yeah, I've had many nicknames too. I've been called Ucrazio, Ufricio, Ulazio, non-contumentary. Yeah, we'll stop you when one doesn't ring true. Okay, but since they're going back to what I'm talking about, well, a week later, my truck got stolen. Yeah, my radio, HD truck, you know, my license plate has radio, HD, I guess. I guess, yeah, a big fan of the band or whatever. And I'm, I have a passion for radio. Big radio head fan? Mm-hmm. What kind of truck, what kind of truck was it? It was a 94 Chevy Silverado. Lowered. Lowered? Well, is that, I saw your pictures that when you got into it or was it lowered before? No, it was actually, I buy from an essay dude who was kind of like on the big side. So it was actually lowered from that, but the seats kind of, you know, worn out. Little bit lower already. All right, definitely not a Jew. Ufazio, you said your mom's debit card was in your wallet. Yeah, I told her right away about it and she had it replaced. Now, I got my mom's debit card in my wallet, but I don't use it. Why, why your mom's debit card? Well, she has a sense that I've been trying to rebuild, you know, the neighbor on my left side. You went half, I'm building a fence. I'm supposed to like, you know, make some, uh... Are you a carpenter? I'm a jack of all trades. Oh, oh, oh, oh. Ufazio, what, what do you think things are looking like? Like you're 43 years of age. Let's, let's talk big picture. Okay. Let's, let's get beyond the fence here. Okay. What would you like to be doing? You know, meet a woman, settle down, some kids, a steady job? I want my career to start right now. As, as a putting up dog earred redwood fencing or on the, on the microphone? Those are merely odd jobs to get to the microphones. All right. Well, all right. Let's do the thing where let's just make it the Ufazio show. And you start the show. Okay. And it's straight up and down six o'clock. It's the morning freak low. It's raised man. How's it going? And then what are we doing today? Let's go check out on Billy and see if he's awake yet. Let's go call him up. Dink, dink, dink. You know, just dial number and... Uh, why don't you interview me? Why don't you make me your guest? Okay. All right. Welcome. It's 6.23 after the hour. And it's a Thursday evening. And we got a great guest today. And his name is Adam Ace Corrill or the Lakers Corrill. How you doing? Doing good, Fazio, big fan. Hey, thanks. Uh, appreciate that. Likewise. You know, I was checking out your book, uh, not a Taco Bell. Can't remember the title by... Not Taco Bell material. Thank you, Fazio. Yeah. And I think it's an excellent, uh, collaboration and, uh, compilation of what you went through and stuff. Thanks buddy. Hold on one second. Stacy, move your car! Park next to... God damn it. Someone get the door. Park next to Olga. Sorry. Sorry, Fazio, big fan. Yeah, the book. Yeah. Yeah, the book. Yeah. Yeah. There's a couple of things that really stood out when I was reading it. I like your comment on like how like you were like, uh, because I used to be a city planning major and, uh, you were talking about having this house in the Hollywood Hills that you were totally like we, uh... Did you imagine Fazio planning your city? Dude, this town, Merino Valley, inspired me to become a city planner, but there's too much mathematics involved, so I had to get out and I wanted to like be able to change the world quicker. So I chose the microphone. So, uh, yeah. And what's weird about that, you were talking about it at 10. You Fazio's talking too much about himself and not his guests. You Fazio never gets into the number one podcast that way. Yeah. That's right. I thought I brought it by the point he made in his book about how he's trying to get a permit. Now you either had to go to downtown or you had to go to the valley. Yeah. And, uh, what that was, that was totally intriguing how like you explain how like when you went to the valley, because you figured it'd be a lot closer, you had to deal with the traffic. I'm Fazio. And I've got... I'm bored by my own book. Okay. Are you living at home? Yeah. I'm in the empty nest and I am the oldest of five children. And, uh, mama's taking care of you? Yeah. She's very pretty. She feels like she's 50 and she's, uh, you know, she wants me to like, you know, move forward. But, uh, for some reason I keep getting to like a lot of dilemmas. Like it's always like one thing after another. And Fazio, when she says forward, she means out. She means forward through the front door. One foot in front of the other. Yeah. Don't stop. Go ahead and deadbolt that bad boy. But yeah, but what's weird though, I'm Filipino and, you know, you know, mom's love to, you know, take care of her son to make sure they, they, uh, go on with it. But they like to complain about it and like tortures while we're doing it. Yeah. Well, listen, you tell her first off, you know, you're barely, I mean, when are you going to turn 44? Um, 44 in September 14th. All right. Well, there you are. You're like a, you're a spring chicken. You know, you can't expect to be pushed out of the nest in your early 40s. You know what I mean? Let's get your schooling done. Let's get your feet on the ground. I'm a heart. Well, I got the schooling done part already. Okay. And Fazio, but there's, there's some dynamic. Listen, I, I can't, there's nothing I can do to improve this man's life. Uh, I look the parents, I always say, you know, nature and nurture, this one will be on you. And I mean, like if you got that kid who's in his 40s and living at the house and eating all your food and making you miserable and watching porn on your computer, that is either product of your seed and your egg or bad parenting. Either way. And on occasion there's, there's, there's problems that go beyond that. Egg might have been scrambled a little bit. Just a little bit. Yeah. I mean, everyone knows that egg beater. All right. I think that should wrap it up. Why not? Just play an outro. Yeah. Feel better. Good. Thank you. Mr. Brightside. Where is our dollar shave club brought us? He here? Mm hmm. Oh, he's here. Yeah. Michael Dubin. Uh, this guy, I'll tell you the thing about this dude. He invented a dollar shave club and I'm not kidding you. My assistant Jay three years ago was showing me his funny video. I don't know if we have that. We can probably find that. He's just shown YouTube like it wasn't like, oh, this guy's a sponsor on your show or anything. It was just like, this guy's got his own business and he made a really funny video and you should check it out. And I always had that thing too. Like Jay, who would sit on my computer all day allegedly doing work and go, hey, check this one out. And then I'd go like, how'd you find that? Right. Doing putting phone numbers in my phone book. That didn't, yeah. All right. Dollar shave club. Yeah. Razors, pain in the arse. 50 different brands, models, all the bullshit features. Who wants to deal with it? Do what I do. Dollar shave club.com forward slash Adam get high quality razors delivered to your door for just a couple bucks a month. And as I've said, imagine if you could just pay a couple bucks a month and just start checking things off a list. Just, just all the little minutia of life that you have to kind of deal with and slows you down and all. And by the way, takes up just as much time as the good stuff and the creative stuff and the smart stuff. It's just you have to do it. This is one of those things. Just check it off. High quality razors, 100% guaranteed, sent on schedule. Never think about it again. Free up your mind to create, man. Soar like an eagle. Can't be down there with all those messy cartridges and handles that don't match. Dollar shave club.com forward slash Adam. Try it out. You will never pay for razors again. That's right. Try it out. You just might. You just might not ever pay again. That's dollarshaveclub.com forward slash Adam. Uh, you can check out this video at, I think we'll put up at amcroll.com or YouTube. But, uh, yeah, this is what Jay showed me from like, I don't know, three years ago. I just thought it was funny. Hi, I'm Mike, founder of dollarshaveclub.com. What is dollarshaveclub.com? Well, for a dollar a month we send high quality razors right to your door. Yeah. A dollar. Are the blades any good? No. Our blades are f***ing great. Each razor has stainless steel blades and aloe vera lubricating strip and a pivot head. It's so gentle a toddler could use it. And do you like spending $20 a month on brand name razors? 19 go to Roger Federer. I'm good at tennis. And do you think your razor needs a vibrating handle, a flashlight, a back scratcher and 10 blades? Your handsome ass grandfather had one blade and polio. Looking good. Pop up. Stop paying for shave tech you don't need. And stop forgetting to buy your blades every month. Alejandro and I are going to ship them right to you. We're not just selling scissors. We're also making new jobs. Alejandro, what were you doing last month? Not working. What are you doing now? Working. I'm no Vanderbilt, but this train makes hay. Stop forgetting to buy your blades every month and start deciding where you're going to stack all those dollar bills I'm saving you. We are dollarshaveclub.com and the party is on. I look right. I look you to a job like a game. So when I'm coming to see you. Yeah, it is a funny spot. And like I said, so funny assistant Jay has shown me that at least two and a half, three years ago. All right, we will, uh, show you what we're going to do. All right, we will take ourselves a little break. We got some news. We got Michael Dubin will talk all about his business and how it all works right after this. The Adam Kurala Show honors journalistic excellence with another great moment in local news. A local Chihuahua survives a coyote attack. Here how Sophie is doing. We'll have the details for you at six. The spirit of Murrow and Cronkite live on now back to the Adam Kurala Show. Oh, wait a minute. I just had a great idea. Service coyote could have eaten Carrie Fisher's dog today over at the family guy. It would have. They're vicious. Move over Gilligan, my service pelican. I'm going to travel with Gilligan, my service pelican and my coyote. Oh, we got a name. Wiley Wiley coyote. Michael Dubin here. He invented a little something called the dollar shape club. Dot com. Good to see you, Michael. Thanks for having me. Oh, like I said, I was a fan of your fun little budget video that was, uh, I guess three years ago. When did that hit the YouTube? Actually, just about a year ago. Where the hell was a year ago? Yeah. Yeah. No, March 6th, 2012. We launched it. Why was Jay Michael? We don't disagree with Adam in this room or anywhere. Right. It was three years ago. Jay was my assistant and he showed it to me. No. No. He showed it to me. You must be wrong about your company, Mike. No, it's got to be longer than that video, the video that I saw. That's right. Was there a video before that? A different one? There was not. There was no video. That's the only video. That's the only video to date. And Jay wasn't working for you a year ago? It has. No. Maybe 9 million, almost 10 million. You're probably thinking of $2 Shave Club, which obviously was a poor decision. We saw the idea from. That's where we got the idea. They didn't last long once these guys came around. Jay was around. Oh, OK. Maybe Jay was around. You are right. It turns out you're right. And it is exactly March 6th. It's almost exactly a year ago. Anyway, we'll still get to the bottom. I'm still going to look into this. We'll agree to disagree. The science out. We'll agree to disagree. Right. Got a fire. I'll get some guys on there. So how did it start for you? So I met my co-founder at a cocktail party. As my friend's fiance's father. He's a 60-year-old guy. He's from South Africa. We got on the subject of shaving. I don't know how. I don't know why. And he was a guy who knew where we could make some affordable razors overseas. And that's where the idea was born. If you ask most guys how they feel about shaving, I don't know why you'd ask that question. But they'll tell you they're frustrated with two things. The price and going to the store to buy them. You got to park your car. You got to find that locked razor fortress. It's always the guy with the keys always texting his girlfriend. And the whole thing is primitive. So I thought that was a great opportunity for us to build a brand and make guys' lives easier. Yeah. And it's fun that you guys had sense humor about it. And you know, it is one of these things. It's sort of like gasoline in that the razor's a razor and gasoline is sort of a gasoline. You get hooked on your brand. Like you go, I want the 76 over the Arco, but your car doesn't really know the difference and your chin doesn't really know the difference. And I have the ones that have flashlights in them and vibrate and stuff like that. But ultimately, all I want is to handle the match to goddamn cartridge. Yeah. And I can never I can never figure it out because I will bring. Well, now I have the Dollar Shave Club. Don't worry about it. But I used to bring the handles with me to the market or to the to the store to get the drug store. And then I'd want to get the generic brands because I don't want to pay like 26 bucks for the five blade, whatever. And it's not worth it. And the generic, whether it's aspirin or or shave cartridges or it's all the same shit. But I couldn't tell if my handle matched up the thing and it was locked up in the cage. It's one of those great living in LA things where you have to and then when you lift it up, the alarm would go off. It either be locked in the cage or they'd have the alarm go off when you got it. And you just realize what a goddamn pain in the air. Yeah, it's pretty primitive. And the thing about shaving is shaving is already a pain in the ass. Yes, it is. I wish I could take a pill and never shave again. Have you thought about waxing? Waxing the face? I got to tell you one time, somebody said to me, oh, no, I got a laser. Once I got the laser. That's right. Just on your face. Bikini line. Oh, OK. No, I get ingrown hairs on my neck. I have the hair. I have the beard of a black man. Right. It grows curly. And somebody said, if you if you if you get the laser and you get it on your you get it on your neck, then the hairs will just fall out. They're like, won't grow back. Let me tell you something about this laser. There should be a class action suit against Joe Laser. Oh, is this makes me feel better that I've never ever done it then? No, no. Because a lot of women have. People do this 10 years ago was, hey, you want that tattoo removed? Go get the laser off. You want your bikini line straight? I'll go get your laser. You want to look 20 years younger? Get it laser off. You have a palp, a cyst or whatever on your collar. Grab the laser. It's like, turns out that don't work for shit. You'd be better off getting your tattoo removed to a fucking eraser. I really mean it like in prison. Like the guys have done the laser like, how's it looking? I can still see it. Well, I've been in for 26. 26 times have been the laser. You can always still see them. Yes, it sucks. My my hairdresser tried to get me to wax my nose hair. She tried to wax my nose hair. Oh, that'll make it cry. Well, she took these two toothpicks and or or, you know, depression sticks and she put them in my nose. She squeezed my nostrils shut and then about five minutes later, she yanked them out and these things looked like wire scrub brushes on the other hand. And I got sick afterwards because it was like how to. Yeah, it really hurt. Well, it didn't hurt as bad as you think it might as I've heard it is to get waxed in other areas of your body, which I probably would never do. But but I got sick afterwards because you need your nose hair. Apparently that's. Oh, you got sick. I got sick because she took out all my nose hair and like all the stuff that your nose hair prevents from getting into your brain got into my brain. And so I had like a lung infection and a sinus infection for two weeks. Well, let me just say this. Nature knows what they're doing. That she mother nature. And by the way, God can be a dude if nature's a mom. Do you know what I mean? I mean, no one ever goes he or she nature. Right. They just go mother nature. You don't see all the dudes whining and belly aching about that. We never try to, you know, swap a cock out there. And it's always father time. Father time. You guys are cool with that. All right. Sure. So the lesson is don't improvise. So the price like don't we we're now basically we've decided that things that are in us genetically aren't attractive. So we're going to start removing them and there's there'll be consequences to that. I'm sure there's hair in your ear for a reason. I'm sure there's hair in your nose for a reason. I'm not sure why I have hair between my two eyebrows, but I'm sure it's there for a reason. And we've decided I've really been studying this lately. Everybody, for instance, everyone has their teeth capped. Everyone has their teeth whitened. Everyone's getting all these fucking procedures done. And then everything's just being relative. You're at a disadvantage unless you have had your nose fixed, your teeth capped, your shit done. You're just that that's all. It's all it is. It's really who you're standing next to. I have you just described the whole steroids area of baseball. It is. It is. Your your deal is is if you want to compete in a league where other guys are juicing, then you must use ask all the guys that got beat by Lance Armstrong on every tour de France. If you want to beat that guy, then you're going to have to do it as well. And I've said it a million times. I didn't need to have my teeth whitened until I did a TV show and sat in between two people who did have their teeth whiten. And now I need my fucking teeth whiten. Can we just have some sort of moratorium on on yanking hair and whitening teeth and everything and just go fuck it. We're going caveman. I mean, not with the beard. We need to shit. You know what I was thinking is a secret scourge foods that are so white that if you happen to have any stuck in your teeth, it makes them look sun yellow. I'm looking at you string cheese. I'm talking to you. Kikama. You hear me talking. That's right. Yeah. Yeah. That's controversial, but interesting. Yeah. Carry on. Michael. Well, I was just going to tell you that I think you should not give into the pressures of the cosmetic industry, but there's nothing wrong with burning a wart off your arm if you have to. Oh, no. Look, I see people walking around with that weird thing on their face. Yeah. It's growing like three hairs that are nine inches long now. And you're like, buddy, what's up with that thing and how come that hasn't been scraped off? If it's a distraction, you got to get rid of it. That's right. It's pulling focus. That's what I'm saying. So now the business is how big, how great is it doing? We don't talk about it, but we're doing very well. I have a board of directors now, so things are a bit different from when I started the business in my apartment. Now I have people that tell me what I can and can't say in terms of our success. But it's what people have responded. They want this. Yes, absolutely. The response has been very positive. Our membership is very engaged. They tell us all the time what they want next and how we can improve. And that's really rewarding to think that an idea that was born at a cocktail party and that something that I built out of my apartment and put my life savings into now has so many members that care about it and want us to succeed. And maybe you're playing it close to the vest, but you have to, the man with an entrepreneurial spirit and a very nicely shaved chin like yourself must have ideas about other things. I do. I do. And we've got some very exciting stuff coming up next week, actually. Oh, really? So stay tuned. It's not something that I can talk about just yet. But our goal at DSC is really to make your life easier. And we're talking international, too, right? We're in Canada and Australia right now as well, yes. All right. Well, hang with us. Let's do a little news. Shall we, Alison Rosen and Michael Dubin, you just crack wise. I'm excited to hear the news. I haven't watched the news or read the news lately. Well, this is Alison Rosen. Mainly me complaining about you. Yeah. She reads some news from her iPad. Sometimes it's good, sometimes it's bad. It's Alison, Alison. And when it's time to wrap it up, she'll sign it off with Zippit Cunt. It's Alison, Alison. So a bunch of documents and warrants related to the Adam Lanza case came out today. And now we know a little more about what was found at the school and at his house. And basically it's just pages upon pages detailing the ammo and the guns that were found there. Is he the Arizona guy? No. But also stuff relating to Jared Lofner. We're looking at the Arizona guy, right? Yes. You have the wrong guy up there. Yeah. He's the movie theater guy. No, he's the Connecticut guy. That's the Connecticut guy. Sorry. This is, Adam Lanza is the new town guy. There's also stuff with Jared Lofner came out. But I'm talking about Lanza right now. Let's kill all of them. And let's at least, let's do this. If we can use these guys for any good, let's do this. Let's find, I'll guarantee these guys, and it varies. But I'll guarantee that the guys that are in custody have, the over under on marital proposals they've received are probably 13 to 1500 probably in that range right now. I just want to go ahead and find all the return addresses on the marital proposals. And I want to go to their home with the Child Protective Services. And I want to see if they have a child because I'll bet you there's a single mom there somewhere. I don't have that child removed from the home. That is going to be the way I can turn this frown upside down. That is going to be the light at the end of this tragic tunnel. That's your silver lining. That'll be the one good thing that comes of this. Either way, I'd like them killed, but if we're going to keep them alive, these guys are going to spend the rest of their life in the joint, by the way, fielding marital proposals. That's how our society is. I'm serious. Do you think they've gotten them already? Lofner will spend the rest of his life in jail because he cannot get the death penalty because he was part of a plea deal. And then Lanzas is dead. But what are you doing ratting out your roommate or something like the plea part? In exchange for, I believe, entering a guilty plea, he can't get the death penalties off the table. I know, but I don't understand. Why would you take something off the table that doesn't need to be removed from the table? I understand when they want you to drop a dime and want to get the big... I would guess to hasten the process. We hold all the cards here. There's no... I understand you want to get Al Capone indicted and you've got information on him, but you killed Lucky so-and-so, but we're going to drop that charge and turn that into manslaughter. Go ahead and drop a dime on Al Capone. But this is just you crazy person, shot a bunch of people, everyone knows it. Let's just go ahead and kill you. Because again, it'll be a lifetime of, I'm going to write a book and I'm going to write a song and I'm going to collaborate with one of the Beach Boys. And again, eventually getting married and possibly having kids. Look, I've said it once, said a million times. Everyone just thinks I'm a f***ing maniac. Um, Tex Watson, four kids, four from the f***ing joint. Not four. Charles Manson's, the guy did the real work was Tex. I mean, the ladies and Tex did the work. Charlie just kind of hung out at the ranch and tuned up his acoustic guitar while they were going out to the Tate and Lobby Anka house and doing the work. Like Tex got in the car, got the chicks in the car, got behind the wheel and drove up. Turn the key in the ignition. That's right. Look left, right, then left again, put his indicator on and drove. You get the idea. You get the idea. He did all the f***ing butchering. That guy. That guy, I don't think had kids before the butchering, but after he was sent to prison, and you guys can look this up, he had at least three or four kids from inside the joint. Imagine if that Lobby Anka family who was just sort of randomly picked out, let's just your aunt, uncle, grandparents, parents, whatever. And the guy who slaughtered them and tortured and it kept the chick alive and all kinds of he had four kids from inside prison, four. With other inmates or with folks from outside outside. Brought them in, got married, had conjugal visits. He's traditional in that way. The calm old fashioned Tex. That's right. So is that, that's really, that's really what we want. That's the society we want. That's the legacy. Tex Watson has four f***ing kids. Four kids walking the f***ing planet now probably in their 30s. There you go. Got that DNA coursing through them. That's awesome. Oh, and not only his DNA, the f***ing crazy broad had thought it would be a good idea to f*** and get married to him in a trailer in prison. All from the same woman. Oh, shoot, they're divorced in 2003. What, she thought she could do better? Yeah. Who's getting custody of the cot? Jesus f***ing Christ. They got a salad and some proceeds. With Loughner. Okay. So we know stuff now about Landa, Newtown shooter and Loughner, Arizona shooter. With Loughner, it turns out that earlier that day, he ran a red light and was pulled over and the guy, the Arizona game and fish officer that's who pulled him over said to him, it's bad for your health. You're going to kill somebody. You're going to kill yourself. But then he said, I'm not going to say when you get pulled over by the fishing game guy. I know. Oh, what's the matter? No one poaching any trout. Right. Actually, no, it's not trout season. So that's impossible. So no beavers building any dams for you to bust. Actually, it's one of the male beavers that build dams. The females actually. Point as you were speeding. So he said, I'm not going to write you a citation for this. And then when that happened, Loughner's face kind of screwed up and he began to cry. And the officer said it struck him as a little odd. So I so I asked him if he was okay. And he said, yeah, I'm okay. I've just had a rough time and I really thought I was going to get a ticket and I'm really glad that you're not. Wow. So he asked him a bunch of times if he was okay. He would not make it in the LAPD because first off, there's no such things as a warning. Sir, what do you do for me right now? Let's go ahead and produce live stretch. J.H.K. right now. Sir, let's tears come for you. Sir, those tears appear to be a threat. I'm going to go ahead and ask you step away from your tears. Sir, I need you to be right now. Just real quick, go ahead and step away from your tears. Okay. For me right now. All right, sir, I'm pepper spraying you right now. Okay. Right now. And I know that will that will bring on more tears. All right. But oh, sir, I sir, hold on. I'm calling for backup. Let's go ahead and unload a clip into this guy. I'm going to need you to go ahead and check. By the way, before we shoot you, go ahead and sign this citation, sir. Thank you. You have a good day now. Now. And then I got a real specific good day the other day. I've had a great Monday. Wow. I don't like, you know, that I kind of like that person. I did O'Reilly and I was leaving the studio and the cute chick behind the counter went, have a great Monday. I was like, it's Monday. It's a real commitment to knowing what day of the week it is. I thought so too. I would pause first. Yeah. If it were, if I were saying that. Yeah. She's been practicing evidently. She's had it all day. Right. I like that. Yeah. It's nice. Okay. Now moving on back to Lanza. Some of the it's weird timing that all these documents for both cases are coming out at the same time. It's hard to keep the killers straight. Some of the things people are talking about that were found there. This was found at his house that he shared with his mother. Three photographs, three photographs with images of what appears to be a deceased human covered with plastic and what appears to be blood. Yeah. I do feel like you could go through almost anyone's desk drawer, underwear drawer and find something that sounded kind of weird and damning. The books. But just about any teenager. Look me in the eye, my life with Asperger's, born on a blue day inside the mind of an autistic savant, the NRA guide to basics of pistol shooting. But are those. And train your brain to get happy. Are those mom's books or his books? It's not clear who's there. What's the deal with his mom knowing how severely fucked up he was. And a holiday card with a check from his mom to him. And it's specifically for the purchase of a C183 firearm, although I read that's actually that they it was I think it's a CZ83. What is the. She wrote that in the memo. It was a gift certificate. Yeah. Oh, the check. It wasn't a check. Was it gift certificate? This is this is what what the article says. Holiday card with a check from Nancy Lanza to Adam Lanza for purchase of C183 firearm. It's being referred to as a gift certificate for this. Wow. All right. So mama who got shot first, right? Yeah, in the forehead. No struggle. But wasn't like her last words is what took you so long. I mean, seriously, a severely crazy depressed all over the road. Emotionally kid who emotional kid who you like to take out to. Done ranges. The range every other weekend. She had a gun locker in his room. Yeah. That's I mean, honestly, like you had to do you did not know this. This is coming. Did not know about this. All right. Never really not. Here's the, you know, here's my take on all this stuff. I wish we could remove guns from this society. I just don't think we can. And the other thing I know we can't remove is crazy people. So we have this problem with a whole shitload of guns and then we got a whole shitload of crazy people. And for me, it all comes down to the same thing education comes down to and crime and everything else. Parents, first line of defense, your kid's nutty and he's got guns. That's on you. And especially if you're training the kid to use a gun, that's on you. And it's probably going to be in you in the form of a bullet. And there's a weird part of me that's sort of glad he put the first one in her. Because she's essentially, if not the Frankenstein of this scenario, certainly all the training and just the fact that she had these accessible to him. Like what kind of house was this? They also had a metal bayonet, three samurai swords. I mean, I could, I could, it would take 20 minutes for me to read all the weapons they had in this house and all the tactical gear they had. They were playing, I mean, not planning, but they were prepared for some shit to go down. Well, she obviously had, I think she was a survivalist. There were things going on. Nice job. Hey, was there no father? She was around, but not in the house. Yeah, he had recently remarried. Survivalists like good news and bad news. Good news is you have a three year supply of garbanzo beans and a bunker in your backyard. Bad news is you're about to get shot in the head. And they had a high garbanzo beans. We doze, it'll last you three to five years. Unfortunately, I only have about 11 minutes left. And they had a high Sierra fanny pack. And I don't know what that is, but I feel like if anything were to happen to me, more than saying to someone like ditch my diary and whatever sex toy you find, I'd say get destroy the fanny pack. Yeah, yeah, let's not leave that embarrassing legacy. Moving on, Obama has named the first woman ever to be director of the Secret Service. Awesome. I'm a little over the first woman, first African American, first Hispanic. Now that we have a black president, it's kind of like, all right. So we got a chick doing this. You know what I mean? Blooms off the rose. I'll stop the. But in terms of being the head of the Secret Service, do you feel like this is something that a chick can do? Oh, yeah, I'm sure. Yeah, but we ought to understand the women, you know, the Janet Rino's and I'm looking at her or whatever. These are chicks, technically. But they're these are, you know what I mean? They're wired like dudes. If it happens in a movie first like that, the woman in the born movies, if it happens in the movies first, it makes it okay. Jonah Allen. Yeah, there you go. Yeah. And also, you know, you know, as far as protecting the president, that's all tactical. I mean, that's not a that's not like how much do you squat? She's not strapping on the the bulletproof bash. She's drawing up the orders for the Secret Service agents, right? Yeah, I would imagine. Would you enjoy having Secret Service or do you think it'd be a pain in the ass? Because every movie about the first daughter suggests a lot of hijinks happen. I think it'd be fun to try to ditch the Secret Service. That would that would be fun. Yeah. Having a parent that you can always rebel against. They didn't cough during my backswing. I think he's cool, though. Other than that, yeah. That guy'd have to get off the detail. Yeah. A toddler in Georgia was mauled to death by the family's seven pit bulls. Really? And everyone was home at the time. The grandmother was watching the daughter and it's it's awful. She heard a commotion and looked at the window and yelled. That's not the Florida I know. I know it's Georgia. Oh, Georgia. Yeah. Oh, well, the room was spinning. Georgia. All right. Do we have any any names? Anything like that? What do we got? They're white. Not just some of your names, you know. Yeah. Monica Renee Lamanak was the child. We have a I think we have a leader in the clubhouse for the definitely not a Jew. Michelle McIntyre was the grandmother. And Edith Steinwitz was the mother. It would have been funny if I got there faster. Yeah, a little faster. Yeah. Sad, tragic. And so all seven dogs were put down. Really? Youth and it youth and I is at the house and but there were two dogs that weren't involved in it and they were spared. And again, it makes me feel like the world's worst person, but I feel sorry. I feel bad for all seven dogs. We don't know what the girl did to the dog. But that's true. Could have tugged in here. They said that the mother or I don't know someone from the family spoke to the press and said that she used to use the dogs as pillows when they would watch TV and the dogs had never been aggressive. My thing is don't have seven pit bulls because they're going to they're going to turn into a pack. Well, here's the thing about the thing about animals, aggressive animals. They're not aggressive all the time, just like people who stab people. They don't spend the better part of every day stabbing. No, they make it count. They pick and choose their moments like and I don't care whether you're the guy who goes up to the bell tower and starts shooting coeds or the guy who's just setting hobos on fire. It's not like all day, every day. It's not like I go, oh, my fucking back's killing me from setting hobos on fire. My stabbing arms all fucking shot the shit. Like they do a little bit of it, but when they do it, it's kind of game on. And the thing with the like, whether it's the pit bulls or the lions, the lions cool nine times out of 10. But it's just that one time that you sit on his paw, you sit on his paw or he just he's having bad, bad day. Maybe it's a might all day. And that fucking line comes in, does a little and the problem is, is with animals, they don't really have a dimmer switch. You know what I mean? They just kind of flip that switch on. And so you got your pet python or your your your pit bulls or your line. You work over at the line, the place that saves. By the way, that part where you're getting eaten by a lion by a lion rescue place, like I'd be like, you got a hell of a lot of nerve. Jesus Christ, I work in a fucking fucking donate. My god damn time. Read the sign. I donate my time at the lion rescue place and you repay me by eating me. Well, that's a fine. How do you do? Yeah, there's still some part of you that makes you think that you could reach the animal and make a difference. Like I believe that if the lion were there, then somehow I could reach that lion. Yeah. And make it be nice to throw a through a cage. And people think that and that's the end. And so the thing about certain dogs is certain dogs, they do have a switch. Like it's it's in them. You know, I mean, labs don't really have that switch, but pit bulls kind of have that switch. And if it gets thrown, it gets thrown. And that's why you can't have those fucking dogs when you have what, two year olds? Yeah. Totally around. Two would have been two. And well, do you and do you think that having seven of them though is worse than one? I mean, I guess one can do a lot of damage, but seven can do seven times that. I I just know that when you're saying and you have a kid, you get rid of whatever said pet that can eat your kid, whether it's the snake or the dog, whatever it is, the kid takes priority and you can't take a chance on that. And also, this is nine dogs and four generations in one house. It was. Oh boy. Yeah. If you have the seven or nine, whatever it is, a huge pack of dogs, it's either because you love the dog so much or it's home security, right? It's to protect your property. Is it analogous? It was a question. Is it analogous to having guns in the house and the toddler gets into the gun and shoots themselves? Is it an and it's not the same thing, obviously, but is it analogous? Is it that's a ultimate in home safety? This is if you want the kid to not die this way, you probably shouldn't have fill in the blank in the house. Yeah. Except for their gun safes and there's no dog safes. You know, I mean, there's a trunk of the car. Of course. There is a safe way to have seven dogs, maybe have a pen for them or have their own. I'm just saying it's analogous. No, listen, it's the same. It's look, if you have a Sam rides, Sam, right, sword for protection, you have to keep it out of the kids reach. And if you have a gun, you have to keep it out of the kids reach. And if you have a pit bull, you have to keep it out of the kids reach. Have you ever had this experience? I don't know if you guys have any level of fear of big dogs at all, but have you ever had the experience of I'm a little bit nervous, but they smell fear. But how can I mask it? Because it's making me more afraid to be thinking they smell fear. It's like something I remember as from being little. I had a dog that lived. I had the world's worst neighbors when I was in high school. They went on to like Rob supermarkets and stuff like that. But they were the shittiest little kids ever. And it was kind of a perfect example of mama just spoiled them and let them do whatever they wanted and they could never do any wrong. And they were just little fucking little mischief makers. And and I'm being nice when I say that. And they had a dog and their dog was named Moon. And Moon was an African whatever like part dingo kind of crazy mother fucking greasy. You know when dogs get oily and this dog was blue. It was like blue and oily. And it was fucking maniac. And these guys this they were such a fucking horrible family that they would just let the dog run free on this front. You know it was before everyone sued everyone for everything all the time. And the dog you know people ride their bikes down the street and the dog be chasing them down the street and people be walking down to the dog be coming after them all the time. And I was walking home and me and Moon squared off one day. And I had this mindset somehow when I was 15 that if I could if you made yourself big. Now again I always laugh about it. You know the part where the grizzlies attacking you trying to make yourself big. The grizzlies of 1400 pounds. I'm 192 so I'm going to balloon up to 210. They still have a thousand pounds on me. And I think the grizzlies going to do that that super little thing in front of me got a little bit bigger. By the way more eating like I plumped up. There's more meat on that bone. Yeah like I think I'm going to be more enticing to the bear by making myself. What are the rules. You know I think I don't know the rules. Are you supposed to get big with the bear or are you supposed to play dead with the bear. And what are you supposed to do with the lion. The one you get real angry at it. The other one you play dead. I feel like there's these are things mentioned. The playing dead part seems like it's going to turn into a reoccurring role pretty quick. To me. The role you were born to play. That's right he died doing what he loved pretending he was dead. Yeah the playing dead thing I don't think is possible because if that fucking 1300 pound beast with the claws that stuck out four inches came sniffing around and pushed me. There's no way I'm just going to fucking lay there and be silent while that thing starts kicking me around like a hacky sack. There's no way. The being big part I think that's your plan. And you know defecating on yourself so it's a fine option. And as far as the defecation goes I don't know how good your arm is but there's a there's what you call plan C. But I decided that with this dog Moon and this dog Moon only won about 35 maybe 40 pounds like a medium sized dog. I could make myself big and I fucking get this dog Moon and I was walking down the street and Moon came after me and I did the yeah yeah and I was like on my feet you know arms up and I was doing the yeah I was doing like a kind of linebacker stance with them you know and Moon did something that scared me very quickly. First move I did at Moon. Moon took like three steps backwards but then started creeping forward like at me again and then the next move I did Moon took like one step backward and then kept creeping forward and I realized Moon was bridging this gap. The big move and the hands flying out in the big shout was good but the margins kept getting tighter. Moon would start take like half step and start walking at me. Moon was overcoming its fear. Yeah Moon was doing what you said to do and it got over me and then at a certain point Moon lunged at me. Oh geez. And it was the weirdest thing in the world. I have a really really good balance. He lunged at me. I jumped back. He grabbed my bell bottom like he grabbed like my pant leg. Well it wasn't secret fact. Wasn't a bell bottom but he grabbed the bottom of my platform shoes flares. I listened. If I was a mod he wouldn't have got me. He grabbed my pant leg as I was jumping back grabbed it and yanked it with him and I landed on my ass in the middle of the street and I was like saw my my 14 and a half year old life just you know scenes of me masturbating in the shower but they all flash by me at the same time and I was like I'm going to be eaten by Moon in front of my house in the street now and that seemed to be enough for Moon. Like Moon was just playing. I think I think his domination of me was enough enough for him. He just turned his anus around and walked it walked it home. But yeah it's the only time I really squared off with a crazed crazed dog and didn't work. You both knew who was boss. Michael ever been attacked by a dog. No no we had cats growing up. Always stray cats that would would scratch you and that was about it. That was the worst of it for us. Yeah how about the cat my grandma had a few on these. They come up they rub the leg they rub the leg they rub the shin they rub the shin and then when you reach down they give you the fucking paw like come on which is it bitch. They don't need you. They don't need me. The next time you get nothing you get me. All right in honor of Easter. Here's a list of a ranking the ultimate ranking of Easter candy. And there's from worst to best. There's a lot on the list. Hold on I gotta emotionally prepare here because I know there's gonna be one of these things is just gonna piss me off. There's 17. Where's the list from? From the internet. From the New York Times annual Easter candy ranking list. Do you want me to read all 17 or do you want me to just cut to the chase? I'll tell you what number one has to be. Okay. Number one has to be the Reese's peanut butter cup egg because that's the fucking best thing that ever came out of a rabbit's ass. No it's not. I mean I agree with you but they have put that at number nine. Whoa all right. It would have been too obvious. I just want to hear the eight that are better starting at eight. I gotta hear the eight. Okay but I have but but Cadbury cream egg is number 11. I thought that would have ranked higher. It's good but it's homo-rotic you know it's like. You know what I mean. Did it get all over your face or something? I don't swallow. Oh I'm sorry. I'm tasting and then spits it out. Yeah. Okay. All right. It's weird. It's you don't know what to do with it because it's like you know it's it's it's it's weird. It's it's sexually it's weird to me. But imagine if someone could ejaculate Cadbury cream. Yeah that'd be cool or it's just a peanut butter. No let's put it this way. If you're at a party and you saw chicks just downing those Cadbury creams and like just no gag reflex no nothing just swallowing and one of those. Whole. Yeah open for business. Okay empty. I mean Easter egg is number eight. Yeah you know you used to do a killer Easter egg. Seize candy. Remember when Seize candy did the single big Easter egg. Solid one at the home. Yeah I never got one of those but my friend got one and it was on his it was on his it was on his stoop like outside and it was living room window was sitting there just and this was like in July or August and there was only half eaten. I fucking killed that thing. I ate it like four months later. Is that good. Daniel's proposal to me involved a trip to see he was trying to get me down to the Coronadom are where we had gone on our first date and he had to come up with some reason that we had to be in that area and so my mom texted me could I pick up something at Seize and here's the thing I had to pee like more than I've ever had to pee which really put a damper in the romance of it all. Sure. And he was I was like my mom wants me to do this like you know blah blah blah and he's like oh you know it'll be no problem it'll be fast. Everyone assured me because I was really putting I was resisting the Seize trip and everyone kept saying oh it'll be super fast. You know what's not a fast place in the world Seize candy because there's 29 old ladies in front of you who have a lot of questions about everything. Yeah I never go to Seize if you need to pee. No but that is some damn good chocolate. It is good. Yeah all right so Snickers egg number seven. Is that a thing. Yeah. Hold on. All right Snickers egg. All right it's better than the peanut better than the Reese's egg. No. Peeps is number one I'm gonna throw that mini iPad across the room. It's not. All right keep going. Dove chocolate I mean I don't know. Dove chocolate Easter eggs number six. Crunch chocolate Easter nests number five. Peeps are number four. Peeps sock right. I mean they're just marshmallows like shaped like a all right. They have a real sugar flavor. Every single time they do. Peeps are like Christmas decorations they keep showing up earlier in the year now. Like I saw peeps in January this year. Right right all right here's here's the problem and I say it all the time. They do these lists. You get something like the Reese's peanut butter egg and you get it ranked down way down below something that sucks and now the list is null and void because you have something that stinks much higher it's the same way I said all the time who's who's the chick who's on the cover sports illustrated sports. Kate Upton. You got Kate Upton and then you do those fucking things where they do the hey hottest chicks in America and Mila Kunis is number four and Kate Upton's number 29 and you go no fucking what now the list is you fucked the list up and it only works with chicks and Easter eggs. God damn it I know it's been said. No but I'm saying when you do I I love cars and when they do car lists there's no such thing is the Lamborghini Mercilago not being quite as good as the Ford Taurus SHO like it's like not no no doesn't exist those lists you can argue a little bit on a couple of the top two if they can be swapped out or something but it's pretty much just right on down the line and whenever they do this it fucking pisses me off all right now I'm gonna I'm gonna be really mad Cadbury mini eggs number three those are pretty good. I mean maybe not number three though are they cream filled like the big ones no they're just chocolates how many how many Cadbury's in the top five there yeah who was this less yeah Michael's thinking like a businessman that's why we do Russell Stover chocolate bunny number two everyone knows Russell you're really yeah those are good I think I've never had the chocolate bunny the sea's egg not in the top 17 get this it's not I get this number one starburst jelly beans I don't even know if I've had them before but I don't think I like them there's a big it's a jelly bean lobby yeah that's big jelly bean big bean that's big bean for you somebody's walking around Washington with a big sack of jelly beans right now big trunk full of jelly beans like someone's like a snow shovel just putting them in there yeah that's that's been bought and paid for by the jelly bean lobby fucking jelly beans for Easter what the fuck that's not even Easter candy yeah that's the only starburst aren't even that good so jelly beans that are starburst flavor no thank you let me say something about all these ass wipes that make horrible horrible lists knock it off you don't make any fucking sense at all like talk to a normal person get three non-retarded people in the fucking room to help you form this list is there any other human being that was you said jelly bean number one Easter candy that would go along with Ronald Reagan and he's not here to say that's true so wait what did you put his number one I will look it's a cop out because it's the it's the it's the Reese's peanut butter egg that is essentially just a peanut butter cup shaped as an egg but still on a technicality it's the best thing in that basket that you're going to put in your mouth I'll take the straight up hard-boiled egg what that's your favorite candy I prefer salty that's you you don't go sweet all right what do we got one more Oscar pastorious will be allowed to leave South Africa with conditions if he wants to compete he's saying that he doesn't want to compete but his lawyer argued for this so that he would have the option uh-huh uh-huh do you think he should be allowed to he is in mourning he should have to do that pentathlon or whatever the one is where you ski and then you shoot he would ski like a special leg skis made for him and then he'd get that chewed a little more and then he'd ski some more and then shoot some more is he still doing that I thought it was my I thought it was an intruder thing you know the problem with that I thought it was an intruder thing is always like five bullets you know what seems like the one is enough is that you wait wait honey and if you think there's someone in your house why would you go shoot up the bathroom wouldn't you just get out I again she was in the bathroom yeah with the door shut yes right and they had they had been fighting before I mean there's there's all a whole bunch of evidence that was suggested this is not the case but he says that he realized that there was a window open and so that means someone could have come in and then he realized there was someone in the bathroom so he and he felt vulnerable because he didn't have his legs on here's the here's our problem and and it's the world's problem and I've said it a million times as it pertains to the law we have this thing where everyone goes yeah I know he's guilty he's guilty he's guilty but there's really nothing we can do about it because we don't have any proof that says what he was thinking when he was one and you there's no witness that had him saying we don't have forensic blah blah blah so everyone knows he's guilty but he's just going to get manslaughter and he's going to do 18 months and blah blah blah and we do that all time and my feeling is is oh look if we know he's guilty then he's guilty that's good enough for me I've said it a million times it will come to be you talked about these earlier we talked about these other shooters and copying a plea and getting a sentence from you know capital punishment to life imprisonment and all that kind of stuff functional MRI machines and guilt can we get a lie detector that is a world standard can we have all of the nations and the world's scientists all come together and work on this and people do that thing where they'll go well first off our system well what about our system it's so awesome that favors rich white guys it's so awesome that oj's running around I mean there's a lot of cases where our system fucking sucks our system's horrible I mean it's better it's better than most but it certainly doesn't have the world it it's it could be improved upon we're grading on a curve and everyone else in the class sucks yes so what about our system number one number two as the people who essentially pay for our system it's not satisfying to see tens of millions of dollars tossed away on someone like oj and then and him see him on the links over Riviera you know a few months later so my feeling is this let's get the fucking functional MRI stuff we got we have made strides in the brain analysis department in the last five years that are unbelievable we didn't have any of this shit five ten years ago Brian you're alive today because we have made strides that's right in that department in the MRIs well let's take the world and let's get all the science because this has a world application this is Australia right all right it's South Africa oh yeah whatever same thing go ahead same hemisphere yeah whitey over there some hemisphere so take it use it everyone it'll be it'll be international standard we'll have the scientists work on it for the next 10 years they'll develop all the software and all the whatever they'll do the case studies where they get everybody going through there they'll make sure it affects men and women and you know rich and poor and fat and thin it'll be all the same and we'll get it all worked out and then it'll get to like 99.996 or something and that'll be fucking good enough for me yeah but you know what it would have to do it would really have to prevent that case if somebody's really grilling you and and they're asking you if you did it or you didn't do it even if you didn't do it if someone's grilling you you know sometimes you feel like you're you're lying even when you're telling the truth can you'd have to prevent against that well yeah you'd have to have a whole bunch of things in place you'd have to have a protocol you'd have to be it have to be administered by someone who was you know a licensed whatever there'd have to be some foreman who stood there who made sure that everything was it all the protocol was followed and then it'd just be half a day that just be we're rolling the end we're going to ask you you know five or six questions did you plan on shooting did you kill her did you really think there was an intruder in your you know whatever it is whatever the protocol is work it out then as a society we would feel some sense of satisfaction like you'd go oh he didn't pass he didn't pass this world standard functional MRI machine and then we take the whole system and we'd speed it all up because I don't know this whole jury of your peers got a bunch of guys with missing legs who you know were the darlings of the uh olympics and all the other blade runners yes and everyone we all know go the f**king mall everyone's an idiot you know what I mean you want these ass wipes I mean look the people in the OJ trial just didn't understand DNA you know there was like too confusing to them so the f**king simple things and OJ goes free is that that we won you have f**king dumb dumb people in the box there would you want 12 people deciding on like what movie you watch or what you ate for dinner like really I really would not want those 12 f**king people deciding my fate and if you're an innocent person you should really want this s**t if you're just the poor black guys being railroaded and whatever with the racist DA f**king get it trying to pad his record give me one of these machines yes yes all right I'm a heroine genius legal zoom baby it's national start your business month again that's right they took another month and maybe they'll take a third who knows watch out look out don't do it they're gunning for you yeah you're starting a small business well you need their help setting up an LLC s corp sole proprietorship non-profit legal zoom takes care of you start to finish Dawson yeah you're starting a business what's going on with you I've been you know kind of self-employed for the last 10 years this year I have over 30 1099s I did my taxes today geez so I am forming my LLC so when the pirate ship docks we call it like a docking bay something we refuel at sea but go ahead that that's what we're doing uh yes I'm working with legal zoom to uh form my own company for tax advantages well all kinds of other stuff if you're working so close with them why don't you do the legal stuff legal zoom is not a law firm and provide self-help services at your specific direction now every LLC and incorporation package includes easy to use business accounting software a 269 value free be sure to enter adam in the referral box check out start your business protect your family and safeguard your assets at legal zoom.com today all right let's do like half a story you got a quickie in there it's not going to piss me off well I can't guarantee that but a man was arrested after a six-year-old swallowed the Adderall a man who was working at a church that was putting on an Easter hunt he kept his Adderall in a plastic Easter egg because who wouldn't do that and then somehow it got mixed in with all the other eggs and then a six-year-old swallowed it she didn't know there were no bad effects though she was fine she got a lot of cleaning done sure and but he was arrested because he did it on purpose let me find that yeah child endangerment I believe that's a thing it turns out it's on the books yeah yeah I uh you know keeping I mean you know what actually used to be you know there used to be film canisters remember film canisters one count of disorderly conduct everyone used to keep their stash in the film canister it was nice because a nice pop lid on it now you have to fucking do they they have child proof eggs you know my plan is where where do people keep their stash now I I don't know but the deal is is I've always dreamt of a parent proof store like a like a store that that did not have it wouldn't be legal be sued out of existence especially in California but like a place you could go where if I just wanted to buy aspirin and I didn't want to fucking wrestle with the lid when I was hung over and I didn't want to line up the two stupid arrows and then pop like I I swear to God the the trauma caused to my thumbs trying to just uneither do that there's two things first off they used to have I don't even know if they make them anymore but lighters were like kidproof and the way they would do the kidproof lighters they put a metal band around the flint part basically the way they would do it is it didn't really work you know like there's a way to the strength you had to have in your thumb to get the thing lit yes and it always took a few tries and you'd rip some of your skin off yeah it's it's like basically going hey we have a lighter and now we have to make it really not functional or next you have to use your teeth and two hands and a bench vise to get your fucking cigarette lit and all the name of idiots leaving the shit around and kids burn the fucking house down but same with the aspirin by the way whoa my kids chewy vitamins have a childproof thing fucking wrestle with it I mean what all right now I'm pissed what when you're done like when you're just done with your life what percentage of it how many how many hours how many days how many months or is it even start turning into years where you just spent just fucking doing nothing for no reason like I'm responsible adult I spent the first 40 years of my life with no kids wrestling with the childproof aspirin wrestling with the fucking cigarette lighter wrestling with all the fucking bullshit that's lined up for kids I don't even have kids this amount of time calories burnt energy wasted doing something that was neither here nor there just didn't fucking amount to shit I would like to open this is your next endeavor I'm listening an adult store you buy lighters we have aspirin yeah anything you anything that has a childproof whatever not this one baby all right these fucking lighters you look at them they'll blow up aspirin you look at it the wrong way five jump right up your ass that's right that's what we need to do to put that stuff on the gun cabinets that's it that's what yeah that's right and so I then I get cleaner bags that don't have warnings on them that's right that's right we call it uh we oh international waters that's the name of the store and you just go in there and you can buy anything you want nothing as a camp or lock or anything ploys are shooting themselves all day these good times yeah I'll tell you I'll tell you what you should do I got an idea for you right before international waters stamps.com that's right you got a business used to be a small business not anymore you want to send things you send a lot of stuff oh yeah yeah you can't go down to the post office that's a drag man my home goes down once a day it was just boxes huge pallets filled with cartridges and and uh what do you call them stems hosts what's the razor handles yes we just call them handles nothing better than trunks no go with what go with what people know all right handles and cartridges now you don't got time for that he's going to use stamps.com you can buy and print official us postage using your own computer and printer of course whenever 24 7 25 10 as we like to round up around here uh plus you get discounts that you can't get at the post office man they save you 80 compared to leasing one of those postage meters uh my assistant Matt uses these bad boys here at the office and that should be good enough for you special offer no risk trial you get the digital scale and 55 bucks worth of free postage send out quite a few cartridges for 55 bucks free post that's pretty good what's that website again that website again is stamps.com that is stamps.com you go there now you click on the microphone at the top of the homepage you type in adam that is stamps.com promo code adam all right tonight Las Vegas 530 Lee's liquors me uh selling uh what do you think of that mangria there Michael it's delicious it's all gone i need more. I see i'm the only one drinking it here well i have a problem that would be worse if i did this here but when i get into the comfort and privacy of my own home oh yes it will be spilled this tongue will taste mangria mm-hmm mm-hmm also salt lake city tomorrow five o'clock that's Saturday five o'clock at wise guys at trolley square so come on out and we'll be uh raise a glass of mangria uh let's see stand up live phoenix that is uh this coming uh friday the uh fifth week from today the fifth is what i want to say saturday april six we're doing two shows out there so if you want to see how the fudge is packed come on down and we'll have a little mangria for you there too uh all that uh what else Vegas have some blues salt lake city kingsbury hall that's tomorrow and the next day and until next time by the way dollar shave club dot com is where you go i'm good ideas i love good ideas i love uh i love the entrepreneurial spirit thank you michael dubin is just that man we'll get you a little more mangria dollar shave club dot com and until next time down to crawl from michael dubin alison rose and and bald brian sand mahalo oh my fucking back's killing me from setting hobos on fire all right does adam kruhl show 1046 come up there next episode adam kruhl show 1067 we have john densmore david amashek alison rose and brian bishop from 2013 good to see you david amashek ace what a pleasure as always for me to see you and your gaggle of people but now i just found out what a great surprise it is that john densmore is coming in here i fear however i if i remember correctly having read a biography of the doors i don't know that densmore was doing the lsd but he may have a flashback to thinking he's seeing his lead singer when he sees that's right the flaxen haired heavy potbelly bearded potbelly well he is potbelly chain smoking drug addled i get it when he sees Dawson through the glass like at the very end of the movie with the candles lit uh go take a bath gary haftaard's giving a moral and alison rose in hello uh bald brian excited about pain and gain hi this is becky honkington requested by luke land cammer derek row hashtag top drop if you want to vote that's right we start over here with it now all right uh audible dot com i want to thank them for supporting the show they have over 100 000 books to choose from including my book not taco bell material in 50 years well be chicks uh lots of good stuff to listen to and uh for all the people that are traveling or just having to deal with life uh audible books man cool and you can get a free one that's right free audiobook of your choice just go to audible dot com slash ace for the details and uh they're all on the page all the details are there and it's audible dot com forward slash ace free audiobook and enjoy okay uh i want to get to that review i want to get to the sports first this i know this is me but i just had this happen moments ago it drives me insane it happens a lot i'm standing upstairs in my office and i'm looking out the window at olga sitting there in her camry parked in my driveway as the crow flies from my mouth it would probably be about 65 to 70 feet my mouth to her car and down about 25 feet down in the driveway i'm up on the second floor and i don't know if sonny or natalia is in the car but i want to say goodbye to one of them before i head off for work so i open the window and i start with the let's not wake the neighborhood up you know let's not alert everyone that papa corolla is yelling out the window about that tone because i do this all the time at my house so i do the uh olga now i'm watching her she's sitting in the car she's just sitting there and she's not sitting there playing bongos on the dashboard or rocking out she's in the car the radio is not on the door's open door open sitting in the car so now i do the next level which is well only the neighbors who are to my right and to my left are going to hear this one but clearly if they're watering their lawn or out in their backyard they are going to hear this one nothing nothing nothing then i get to the point where it's like why is this i know clearly she can the sound is caring to her ears from where i am and then usually the third between the third and the fifth one is just a crazed i don't care if the guys in the fucking space station can hear it and are annoyed as they orbit overhead just fucking scream as loud as i can through the fucking canyons and that gets this response i heard that which always drives me insane the part that drives me stage they they pop their head out of the car and they go what and i go i'm i've been yelling your name oh i've been sitting in the car and then i go wait a minute we're speaking in a conversational tone how now it's a conversation we're in a conversational tone we're in a we're talking like we're standing in the same room and she goes you know and i go who's in the car and she's not sunny isn't the car she's not spelling it out in firewood or anything on the driveway she's going sunny's in the car oh okay well we're where's natalia and i'm like again five back and forth i was just screaming my fucking lungs out and you weren't moving how's it go and then she goes of course i'm having that conversation with her ironically in a conversational tone too with the old guy screaming your name for for the life by the way if i ever get caught in a bear trap in my house and and i know it's you know well under 20 maybe even in the teens low teens that that does happen i'll be dead me you'd be surprised i'll be devoured by fucking coyotes before anyone ever gets me because i have been in my house and just yelled people's names as loud as i could possibly yell them with zero response and then when i hear the response it's in a speaking tone it's weird because you're like even if no matter what kind of fog you're in when someone yells your name that is supposed to snap you out of it what can you yell that will snap people out of their tune out fog even if i just did my fall back which is the n word you got me a little trouble up you know because a pretty progressive community but even if i'm going back with my just my fall back you'd still think that would get some response from the person that heard the crazy man bellowing from the rooftop you know what i mean like even if i just went oh you think they'd look up they wouldn't that get you to look up and so i said so now in a conversational tone which is marginally louder than what you would do if you're sitting on a sofa it's about as loud as that you would do if you were at a restaurant and they had a little bit of room music pumping it you know so i'm going why didn't you answer me the first eight times i screamed your name i was talking to natalia but it's like all right i get it there's something else going on inside the car but still the bellowing of the name the whole bellowing of the name is to interrupt whatever casual conversation you may or may not be having like if if you're at a party and you're just talking to your wife and i yell there's a mad man with a machete you don't go i didn't i didn't hear that talking to my old lady here's the issue about this room cake my kids get zombie they get zombified by the tv and that half you have to really go up and shake them or literally put a hand in front of their eyes for a second and a half before they recognize that there's some something else happening in the universe but isn't it troubling that olga and you know at least half the population is like this that those people operate motor vehicles around you that that's really astray that that freaks me out and those same people have now taken to driving a car and texting simultaneously that's what's around you that's right egad yeah very sad egad uh not egad although that should be that should be a british holiday like celebrating egad day egad cinco de mayo coming up baby we're having a little mangria party you're all invited and that is in malibu beautiful everyone's been there right oh picturesque glorious right only 40 VIP tickets left musical guests susanna hoce been added fits in the tantrums john popper's gonna be there i mean that's uh loaded for bear and the tickets are going to the children's hospital and they're all tax-aductible and we'll be there i think kim will be there maybe howie mandel may a few other uh notables uh floating around so come on down say hi and you can get it uh at my website www.andcurl.com all right i want to know i'm very curious about this uh pain and gain i want to know where brian comes down on this thing i saw the movie with bill simons davenches i was on my way there and my schedule prevented it ultimately i would have been a great i would love to have been there for that but while i want to hear your review but i let's turn it over i want to know what brian thought of my review i was sort of a general thumbs up you would never call it great by any stretch of the imagination apropos theme song because michael bay the director of transformers too also the director of this film i'm sort of on board with you this is above average i would say it's a good movie i think it's a great movie but uh it's everything you want to have a summer movie it's just smart enough just enough brains to get by looks great michael bay movies whether they're good or bad always look good this one looks really really good um this counts as a low budget michael bay movie because it was the lowest budget he's ever had since his first movie and this is like 20 million dollars yeah i heard it was 20 or 25 yes somewhere in there this is uh starring mark wallberg the rock anti mackey from the hurt locker tony chalube who is really really good very rangy actor tony chalube at harris rebel wilson kenjiong and rob cordry good cast yeah um chalube couple couple things uh the rock probably the standout performance of the thing right just have it written right here very very good in this movie he's he i think he's along with tony chalube the best part of the movie showing a lot of range a lot of unlikely rise to a list status for the rock he was the wrestler who tried to act a little bit you know 10 years ago 12 years ago and now he's carrying summer blockbusters multiple in the same summer the three in the same summer and so uh some attempts at humor that worked some that fell a little flat right there was a guy behind me laughing out loud several times in the movie so it hit home with a couple of jokes for sure took a sort of macabre turn it got a little grosser and bizarre more bizarre than it sort of needed to i thought toward the end yeah i did like that it was based on a true story although you do wonder about that true story because it got pretty fantastic hold on for those of us who aren't familiar with the picture except to see the billboards and it looks clearly like no cgi was necessary only uh some some needles in the arm of uh of the rock to build to build up the physique what is the premise of the picture i have no idea uh the premises the only give away the premise because it takes a few twists and turns that are kind of interesting i didn't ask you to tell me how it ends okay premises these three guys working living slash at a gym basically 24 hours a day work at the gym and one guy's very motivated to better his life through sort of a tom woo tom vu type character named johnny woo tom vu played by kenji young and he's sort of very motivated to better his life and he does but so by kidnapping a very wealthy clients he kind of it's funny i i do know a handful of the meat heads that are motivated meat heads the only thing worse scariest kind yeah it's the only worse than meathead is a motivated meathead because they don't quite have enough emotional or intellectual horsepower to pull themselves out of the mire but they they get a lot of things on cassettes and read a lot of books and stuff and then they regurgitate a lot of these stupid adages that they read on t-shirts and things like that but you want to know the number one big tad big he's not motivated oh no no big tads not motivated big tads brother yeah tea chance thrasher that's right he's a male stripper who's highly motivated and the whole time you know like i said it's a kind of a meat head motivation which is well docile meathead okay this is meathead on a couple of red bulls who's reading an anthony robbins book you know and it's just fucking fired up but really doesn't have the horsepower to pull anything off you know what's equally bad or worse though than the motivated meathead is the flusy who looks up to the motivated meathead and who quotes that meathead like he is a god yeah there's a lot of like that character people that make the money have the money okay people like here you go yeah all right i guess that'd be true for cars or anything else on this planet but yeah uh yeah tea chance thrasher uh big tads brother uh was reading a book the entire time jimmy and i drove to vegas with him and his uh very gaseous guy uh we drove to vegas with him and and and tad and we're in a minivan and he was reading like a motivational book from the 50s and farting by the way the entire time he's a male stripper but yeah so walberg does a nice job of capturing that dude yes when mark walberg plays a little dim he's great like when he's in boogie nights when he's in the fighter you're like that's that's he's up on that screen man yeah so he was great um i don't know what you felt about this but i thought it was i was okay with it but it was a little over directed there was a lot of slow mo a lot of freeze frames a lot of captions inside the film like it was you never forgot that you were watching a directed movie but it was fun and look great and well it's kind of kind of um odd camera angles i'll give you a i'll give you a kind of a i'll just i'll do a little uh spoiler alert not much just a little one so the movie will say based on a true story and you go okay that's cool so then you watch it sort of like you'd watch a movie like pepe on or something like oh he was unjustly hour committed you know thrown into devils island and now he's got to get off or something and it's kind of cool or like a world war two movie or something like like that a bridge too far something like like that um so you try to you try to but then you have a scene where the rock is swimming underwater and the cop shoots a bullet into the water and it blows his toe off and then he goes down and gets his toe from from the bottom of the lake and then keeps swimming now you go well that didn't happen i only thought it must have happened if only because the toe makes several appearances in the rest of the movie the co's character in the rest of the movie but you're in a like a murky a murky swamp you're dodging bullets cops are firing down on you and you're going to swim down in this dark murky swamp without a mask or any respirator anything and go find your toe and then swim to safety it's that kind of movie people have way too good a vision in movies underwater they're way too good a real quick aside callback from a while ago remember we were doing mr bright side and someone lost his toe and you said the benefit to that was you could say if you're if you're trying to test the pool temperature you're just going to dip a toe in the water without getting up oh without getting up yeah i like that thank you so there was a lot of scenes that were fantastical were you just like i don't know how that worked and i don't i don't think this counts as a spoiler but what reminded me of that was about towards the end of the movie about 15 minutes left at one point there's a freeze frame and a caption that said this is still a true story like that reminded you i i didn't like i understand the broad strokes of it were true but it just couldn't be as it went down the details were a little anyway visually fun again not everything has to be high art no it's uh sitting about 45 percent or so unrotten 27 last i checked well but let's look at it this way to be fair now 49 and 63 with the audience and top critics probably a little lower but look at it this way it's not really 40 percent or 49 percent out of 100 it's kind of out of 80 percent because 80 percent is a good movie or 75 percent it's pretty good movie so you're not that far the gap between a good movie isn't 49 percent and 100 it's more 49 percent 80 percent if you kind of want to look at it that way because if you got yourself up to 80 or it's 85 or 78 the consensus would be it's a good movie uh worth a watch 49 does feel too low to me i would give it a lot of me i'm gonna say about a b it's solid entertaining fun how how gory is it it gets it the problem is it goes from sort of fun and kind of tarantino i know tarantino gets gory but he pulls off the humor with the action and with the with the intense scenes at by the time they get to the end they get to some really stuff that's hard to look at agreed uh yes if i can make a recommendation if this is not your kind of movie you know that another movie that shows off tony shalub's really good range you ever seen big night the movie about the cook great movie co-directed co-written by love when he makes the omelet at the end that's the great scene thank you for giving that away and uh tony shalub fantastic in it it's been 19 years 15 years oh you can't spoil an old movie great movie go see big night all right band and getting fun movie yeah what do we give it i give it a b i'll give it a b it's passing great and a lot of fun and uh exactly what you want out of this kind of a movie okay that's right we're on the exact same page okay all right check get the sports ready let me tell you guys about uh big commerce big commerce.com you want to go online you want to start a business online you want to sell stuff online maybe you have a brick and mortar store again my plan brick and mortar store that just sells brick and mortar that's my plan just uh just uh i'm trying to think when oh man yeah s s type the ultimate irony brick and mortar store that was only online they sold brick and mortar oh but only on the internet yeah yeah type s mortar just online you need big commerce baby or maybe you're starting your own business maybe you're vending something i don't know if it's barbecue sauce i don't know what it is but if you're going to sell online you need big commerce they have everything you need uh that can design your website to do the shopping cart setup options for customers payments uh i know you like to make jewelry Dave it's one of my passions yeah yeah you're like uh i think broach is such a beat work is unparallel yeah so they'll give you marketing tools and sales tools and you can sell those beautiful clamp on jade earrings online i got a special 30 day free trial offer plus two hours to personalize e-commerce coaching free when you subscribe just go to bigcommerce.com click on the blue headphones at the top left of the home page then select my name adam it'll drop down on the menu there and it's bigcommerce.com if you're selling something online let's get started that way all right dave damashek let's hit it baby hit it bald it's time for dave damashek's number one sports all right the nfl draft 2013 in the books i was there in radio city music hall a grand time really one of those things it's hard to be cynical about all the all the nonsense it surrounds it maybe too much analysis when you look at it at the end of the day all these talking heads so serious about it and ultimately they hit between 45 and 55 percent of the time i think we could all do about the same level of job all the time and effort that goes into it but that is far in the rear view mirror after an eventful monday here in the uh what month is it still april uh in the month of april tim tebow released never as a backup qb garnered so much attention from the national media his release kicked to the curb by the new york jets no surprise there after the team took jino smith with the second second round pick on friday but it's a great thing as i say it's hard to be cynical when you get to watch it's better than the academy awards when they make the announcement the inherent drama of and the winner is is even better than the Oscar goes to what did i say the winner is oh yes i don't want to shame you're right you're right the oscar goes to um it's even better when it's a 21 year old who presumably is not already affluent and that moment even though they know it's coming is great i don't want to step on you i'm going to step on your notion about the affluence but i've heard that a lot of those guys moms have three and four jobs so they probably have some money yeah you don't think i mean yeah i mean one job one job like four jobs yeah i mean sometimes five yeah i mean i assume the average income is what about 150k well you do whatever it is times it four because they work for jobs yeah and god knows where dad is some sort of international you know businessman tycoon probably in kawaii or something doing some big deal yeah they said dad wasn't there you know he's overseas yeah doing something very very important wasn't that exciting at the top of the draft uh for people who look for but it is the lottery in the sense that the guys who come from families of nine and crappy places from alabama are now going to be huggy mama guaranteed 35 million dollars over the next three years kind of thing it is neat and um i saw i spoke with geno smith actually in radio city music hall i got to interview him delightful felon i love to ask him about so really what did you do last night you know when you didn't get drafted he was expected uh i know i don't have to tell you allison but for those who don't know right that geno smith was projected to go as high as the second overall pick and instead he didn't get taken at all in the first day so it was there's a fair amount of humiliation same for matt barkley the u.s.c. qb but especially for geno smith and he said i went out with my mother you know we went out we had dinner and it was nice and she settled me down i thought it was wonderful matt barkley looks like the head of the frat who is the qb of the football team but also the head of the evil frat yes yeah he looks billy's abgai he's a 21st century billy's abgai he really is he's arian ask yeah johnny from cobre kai so anyway so all right well hold on a second now where's tibio going he the the harsher critics will tell you he's going nowhere that they they say he is not going to ever be back in the nfl really f l teams there's already conjecture he may go to the cfl well what if he humbles himself and says uh look i'm gonna convert myself into a tight end so what though yeah so let's take that as a for instance how is he gonna play tight end is it do we know that he has the hands i had a little this i had a discussion with lanette this morning about this exact same topic and i said i was playing your role i was saying what's he gonna do and then she said let me drop a name i'm a little i was saying timo i said what's he gonna do it can't convert him to tight end she said i'm gonna drop a little name tatt christiansen and then she went and i said what yeah he was full back that's right full back and he rode the pine for about three years and then he converted to tight end and he had pro bowl seasons for the raiders okay and one of the coolest perms ever on a white guy wow and then she showed you she sniffed and walked right back out of the room wow pretty impressive yeah that's it's humbling but not a surprise find a picture of him where his head isn't sweaty h back that's what they called him and colors nice too somehow he achieved the title of h back but yeah tim tibow maybe could go and do that but we have no evidence that suggests he's ready to play there's tatt christian look at that beautiful 70s from do you think that's natural or is that permanent i well it's there for good if that's what you're asking i i don't know there's even better shots of that natural and i want to know his story because i think he played full back for maybe dalas for maybe two or three seasons he didn't get many touches i didn't know this that sounds right he switched over to tight end and became a pro bowl well it's also any more number 46 so you know that he didn't play another position right yeah you know he didn't start out as a tight end or else they would have assigned him a number in the 80s right so tibow is i mean he can handle the ball nicely that's a pretty good throw shot of him he can he can he looks he's like if the if the camel man the camel guy who's the guy who would go out on expedition and you know with his jeep going through the don't going on safari if he had a slightly straighter brother who stayed back and played football that would be i was gonna say you know yeah you take him and then and he conceives a child with the patriarch of the brady bunch mike brady after the later years after the one against the permanent yes and and yeah and the throw in the tom selic which then allows us to transition into the big story of the week speaking of uh so tibow yes good size tenacious i could handle the ball i could see him at the goal line a clever team might have him but he would never yeah if you're tim tibow what makes more sense for you is professionally like for relegating yourself to learning a new position i eat tight end or full back or going to some small town or medium sized town in canada or somewhere else and becoming a local celebrity like you could be the mayor of that town so to speak within you know four ten years look warren moon and dug fluty and a bunch of other guys jim kelly bunch of other guys like that went off somewhere else marcus allen's brother played out of the nfl really played in allen yeah except for you didn't except he didn't come back i guess not dedar brock yeah he did the reverse yeah he did the reverse i'm sorry go ahead i want to talk christian i want the numbers on christian by the way i want to know he had he had at least 200 catch seasons no i want to know if he started off on dallas as a full back and this stuff that should be and wait again when this came up five minutes ago you would have thought someone behind the glass there might have uh no i didn't want to know all right so you could go to canada you could go to canada you could have a cup win a couple of gray cups and then come back or you could suck in canada that's that's the whole thing you don't necessarily have to go the warren moon route where you go to canada have some incredible years and then come back and have a long story to nfl career you could just go suck in canada so that's the question do you want to leave the show if you if if tim tebow is resolute about his interest in playing qb then it would seem that his best path to to return would be to go to canada ah there show that he you know turn his ace you nailed that that's terrific well you didn't i mean it goes cowboys first then the giants right but very nice thank you started off as a full back went to the raiders and had some pro bowl seasons yeah like i say at least a couple of hundred catch seasons when those were not common well keep in mind also that tebow back to tebow excelled in the sec won two national championships and a heisman playing against you know sec is one of the top conferences in college football i imagine but he was on the best team in the sec at the time but i also how level of competition is about what that is in the cfm wait a minute don't forget he was a situational qb when they won that national championship but he didn't have you know he had but chris leak was the star yeah no not tom sellick the camel man uh tom sellick's the mustache he had a decent year at denver he had more than i mean they go nine and seven they win a playoff game against a good stealers defense injured though it was but it is amazing when you think about his last start in the nfl but well i guess they got smoked in foxborough the following week but his second the last start in the nfl was a overtime win in the playoffs against the pittsburgh stealers it's remarkable that he may never get another start but like the finish the point he may do well to go to canada show that he has transformed his throwing motion and is more accurate and can make some of those throws and then return because because doug flutie did that oh let me say this the tebowing the tebow pray move that's the curling move the curling move is a is a sliding version of the tebow the tebow move if you think about it you drop down on one knee right do the tebow move it's a one it's a it's going down so we've seen going down on one knee it's one knee it's oh there's the camel man mr brady it's perfect yeah i'd like Dawson's father by the way too not having ever met him that's what i imagine he looks like um he died a tragic bong incident 1979 so really that's kind of touchy kind of touchy subject all right he doesn't remember you if you take sorry more homework but if you take the curling move they're down on that one knee i mean i it's you're halfway home to the tebow you are right about me i can i can see what you're you see if they get down on that one knee and they just slide it across the eyes i i could see i could like i said just during the offseason he could practice his move and his curling i think he'd be accepted just because it's like but he could become canada's bo jackson to sport athlete yeah terrific that's yeah you're an idea man ace that's me so all right so tim tebow kick to the curb who knows if we ever find a place i predict that mark sanchez will join him because i can't imagine that you draft jenosmith and then you're going to carry this uh that you know this the circus act mark sanchez and that battle all through training camp best to kick him out to and start anew anyway so that's that now the big story i was uh referring to just a moment ago is that jason collins long time nba center who's played with six teams has announced he's gay at long last someone who is an act of player with an asterisk because he's a free agent and he's 34 and we'll see if someone signs him but i imagine they will because he's a seven foot tall guy who can play a little bit hold on did you say his ass was at risk because that's hurtful that's hurt speak hey free speech fella that's hurt to say what i want yeah i don't work the ass at risk when i'm talking gay stories but anyway they said it'd be tough for collins and this is what they meant so he is gay there's a curling move all right yeah look at that could ease after you were let once you released that curling thing you could go up in the tiba yeah excellent but so jason collins and for the most part people are coming out effusive in praise for him a few outliers like mike wallace the new wide receiver for the miami dolphins later the pittsburgh stealers made a joke on twitter saying something like uh i don't understand with so many beautiful women in the world why you'd want to go for dudes but you know what i and he's he's got gotten a lot of heat i you know listen i was making a joke it was clearly a joke and but it is interesting that these guys aren't so thoroughly coached up by the leagues and their teams i don't care what your opinion is just keep your yapshut if you are anti-gay for the interest of yourself for the team and the league just keep it to yourself do not go on record making homophobic or i'm a christian so therefore it's inappropriate i think it's outrageous ace how say you will we now see a flood or at least several more names as the speculation is that many more guys will now feel it's a safe place to come out i don't cheek's part and it floodgates they open and it um well a couple things first off i would just tell everyone look hey black people on your team who want to do some crazy tweet that could be offensive the same people that hate the gays hate you so let's not let's not get on that team you know you guys should all you should be on this this team number one number two there's never going to be any upside to you making a joke or not about this and you guys aren't skilled enough to put that joke you know pat nozzwald could put that joke together you are not going to put that joke together it's going to be misconstrued if you knew that's what they'd say yeah right you're right kevin hart except for i don't think you can make that all right but you know what i'm saying the late great richard prior mom's maybely all right sorry i've run out of references the point is this don't say anything it's because it's the it's it doesn't make you money or doesn't make you happy there will be zero upside to whatever tweet you put out there's no way you're not going to raise you're not getting any extra pussy you're not getting anything for saying this but you could get your hand caught in the cookie jar and you could get in trouble so don't say anything and yes everyone should just be coached up not to do anything um i don't think i think it's smart because um he kind of gets to be the jackie robinson of basketball in the gay world if you think about it and although the second guy just he's just he's just jumping on right he might not even be gay he might just be trying to get some extra wow this guy's getting a lot of good press out of this yeah i gotta jump on this i don't think i actually think the second third fourth and fifth maybe second third and fourth i think for a little while everyone it it will have the same impact for then i think they'll be diminishing returns there will be but it does have diminishing returns we don't know the name for me the question is is once as an owner once one one of your players comes out as gay and then a couple other guys in league do you draft the other gay guys because now you got a situation you know what i'm saying it never works out those office romances you know what i'm saying yeah it's never isn't a no seriously i i mean it like if you're i show it like a big daemon yeah you guys get to know each other yeah and beat back me into the paint any time what i'm what i'm saying is if you three ball yes please if you started dating gary it would you want to do the quick shiver thing now or are you good okay if you started dating gary from downtown i you bet i would not be happy because i know at some point there'd be a situation three months on it'd be great for a while and then at some point it'd be like where's gary uh him and alson had a fucking blowout and he's pissed off and they're breaking up and this is weird and uncomfortable and gary's made the proclamation that both of them can't which case gary you'd be gone but they both can't work under the same building under the same roof it's not going to work you know you don't want that and there's not much chance of that in the nba as it is now it's like hey you want to go out whoring all right let's go and then they go out whoring together but that's that that's that builds camaraderie but if you think about it if you took just like they do on like the mouse kateers club you know i mean there's no doubt that justin timberlake and britney spears are going to get together they have to they're they're together they're five person team you know ironically they're they're just kind of touring the country together all the time yeah it's going to have to be canoodling is what your forecast or there has perhaps it's already been well there has to have been right if you're on a team forget the gay part if the basketball team was just co-ed and there's other 23 and 24 year old people who were like super fit and looked really good together we shared a bus we shared a flight then we went off and stayed at a hotel together how long would it take me to walk down the hallway to your room and if there's another version of me in that room that was just as horny as me we'd f*** in the hallway we don't even get through each other's rooms i'd bend you over an ice maker bitch you know what i'm saying you don't think it ain't right all right i'm getting excited but so i'm into it dude it's kind of it's kind of interesting if you and then now in a weird way you got to factor it in like if you have a couple of gay players or like one gay player and you're drafting a player out of college but he's gay and you're thinking and this guy on our team you know he gets around a little like he likes you know he's young he's like just the same as a dude would do if it was a woman you're drafting into this thing you have to factor in the gayness red blood of american that's right interesting well of course if that ever came to light that that happened then the that gm would be fired right well we decide you know that there were whispers well you couldn't not you could have the gay guy you couldn't say i'm not going to draft a guy because you never say that publicly right but if you had a gay guy on your team that was a starter and single and like the mingle you'd have to also do the uh there could be some going on here and then they get in a spat and i don't want to pass the ball to each other you've gotten your last balls from me yeah the um yeah you know i i do find it repugnant that the that for some reason our society has to indulge the christian fundamentalists who say well i'm i'm entitled to my opinion yes you are but this notion that hey i you know my book tells me i'm that this is unacceptable and so that's your your opinion is that this is acceptable my opinion is that it's not yeah the difference is is that what he's doing has nothing to do with you no one is telling you to stop doing your religion and to reading your book it's an outrage and those people you know what i say i the leagues are incented to tell their players and their coaches and everybody else keep your yaps shut i say let these people make isolate themselves because when they say stupid things now the onus is on them they're the ones who look like fools and dinosaurs and they will be the rejects ironically you know 20 years ago let alone i think i think i think there's a night as a twin i don't know if the twins identical jaron does have yeah he's you know i'm not positive they're identical but jaron is not gay and when he found out last summer was stunned apparently well they can't be identical anymore if he's not gay yeah right because really that's that's one the big three for me number one number two it's got to be weird for the twin jaron yeah yeah there's a lot of people in his locker room like jaron how's it going good anything on your mind no nothing huh so my brother on the news the other day yeah you're a twin i think that's great i think it's great that he feels that comfortable you're identical because sometimes they go nature and nurture but it's funny you got the same jaron's you're white what's your wife think about what you think about uh posse oh really yeah sure nothing nothing i mean i'm cool hey i got a lot of friends that hey marcus we still don't we still go into the strip club jaron you want to go yeah you should my jaron yeah this makes the most sense of all of us it's got to be weird for the for the fucking twin brother right i'm pretty sure he's done i'm pretty sure he's retired now but i i don't mean he never retired from being gay no indeed you do not hang up that cock ring that's not true uh what's her name's husband took the therapy and it got it scared out of her what's what's what's having been i don't know ran for uh ran for president for yeah i don't republican i can't think of her name from minnesota um so all right enough about that it's uh it's being hailed as a great day and uh and it is and it'll be interesting to see it's a good you know guys i've talked with brendan i am bandage on my podcast at the nfl and uh chris cluey this is their modern day pwee reese's they created a place that said come out we'll accept you and so in a way they deserve some reflected glory too for creating an environment where it wouldn't be so scary for uh for a guy to come out so good for them that's a nice story but there are also creeps running amok and with that being said let's get to the creep of the week creep creep creep of the week of the week he or she is the creep of the week all right real quick i didn't know john densmore was gonna be here but i would like to point out since that has come to my attention hipsters who don't like the doors you know you ever meet those guys there's there's a backlash against it because you know you could go you know when i was in college out posters everywhere the doors they had a resurgence that lasted for a quarter century after jim morrison's death at least and now it seems like a lot of hipsters say oh the doors weren't that good and jim morrison was pretentious and all that sort of thing hey la woman great record morrison hotel great record i like the door so i don't like those uh i don't like those hipsters who go against that but the creep of the week david amishak oh wow wow i was on a four and a half year run by my calculations of not having the hiccups i never had the hiccups for like four and a half years but at four oh nine p.m local time today i don't know what happened maybe i let my guard down i took my eye off the ball i got the hiccups wow it was a it's a disappointing end i mean i do pat myself on the back for the great run but like all streaks it's a reminder they they do come to an end you know so you got to reset that big counter you keep in your living room that the factories have a days since the accident back to zero back to zero i got the hiccups i thought maybe i i thought i honestly thought i and i'm not making this up i really did think maybe i cured myself forever of hiccups not unlike what's her name's husband was cured of his gayness just say crazy eyes whenever you're trying to think of a republican oh yeah rachel bachman right right right right right so yeah sports we're off sports you creep who you know one more of those and the the blaster the hands of the addition blaster points at you fella i'm sorry by the way yeah you better be sorry sports this is personal not interesting story wait a second that was a get in line i yeah well my career not no it's not a cute well i can make myself lose them but i was out of practice with it the way you lose your hiccups i i feel as everybody's got their their hokum but what you do is you hold your nose and you try your best to hiccup and that makes it go away it's weird do your best try to conjure because fill your lungs with air and try to hiccup you can't do it and then they just are gone but i never needed it until i was driving in my car at 409 p.m local time very sad but i do want to say i got something about weird in the air at 409 before before i use before i use the hands all addition blaster on myself very quickly to get out of jerk free card for this week goes to dave damasheck in new york city in a great restaurant that's right well that's how you can work that way i can i can give it to myself now the i i know how that sounds and i didn't mean it that way and alison rosen you get in line one two and three maybe mind your peas and cues the three of yous it's a firing squad now listen to me except i'm a firing squad of one against three now so i'm in new york and i was reminded of the fact in this great steakhouse called quality meats everybody's ordering this that and the other i ordered just right the waiter complimenting me on it he said oh the rib steak sir is the best in the house sure enough it was and i was reminded or in fact you know how you receive oral better than anyone i absolutely nobody nobody i have people brag about giving oral but no one receives better than me well it's great can i say this i've been making that claim for almost 14 years now no one has stepped up to take the strap yeah come on bitches step up same thing i'm the best order i'm the best order of i take it off before i get there is you know there's i'm not i'm not saying top 10 top five i'm the best order of food of anyone i know when i'm in a restaurant i defy anyone my batting average is save one or two bad choices over the last 20 years as an adult i have been hitting home runs in restaurants over and over again can i ask you guys if this is rude or not because i wanted to do it on friday night uh when you ask what the specials are and they if you're sitting with other adults if you're out with your friends and they go the specials well they go into this thing where they go well we have uh we have an oyster chutney something something and you can't in your mind you just want to go fast forward fast go the next one you don't have to get through all the demi glaze and there's that and the other because i'm already off with the oyster chutney you know we're moving on but there's four other adults at the table maybe one of them wants some oyster chutney but when you're out with your kids it was just me and my kids just me sonny natalia on friday night and she was giving the specials and i wanted to do the roll it don't eat them right roll it roll i want them but you started off with uh this is a a sea bass and it's like i just roll it to the next i'm not in the mood for fish and by the way the kids are getting spaghetti with you know butter and cheese so forget about them but i didn't want to be rude you know why i think you can't give her the cue is because i feel like that whole thing is a delicate lattice work of words and they i don't know that they can go to the next one without forgetting it's a monologue and if you if you disrupt the monologue she'll lose her right it's like what's the second mind a pledge of allegiance i got you that's interesting well was anybody else interested in the uh in the oyster chutney olga olga olga ah what i was listening to the waiter all right so uh so with that being said it's even steven for david ameshek so instead a late ad three in fact brian corolla alice and rosen one two and three taste the blaster creep creep creep that's it i'm done all right uh john densmore out there god knows how he would describe what just happened to his agent who's on the phone there's some guy from the 40s talking about his hiccups i don't know what it is you gotta blaster out i don't know what's going on all right before we bring uh john that fellow as well he was the bees knees the cats pajamas and so on uh good news mother's day coming up right around the corner pro flowers has you cover cover they have dozen one dozen rainbow roses just 1999 or you can double that you get two dozen you get the premium pink vahs that's right say vahs for just and you get some uh chocolates as well for just 29 98 that's 50 off stuff used to be expensive now boom shows up right to the door mama opaz it she's delighted puts a little seasoning packet in the water there goes on for at least a week hell i get two weeks out of my pro flowers roses and uh currently awarded highest customer satisfaction by jd power and associates i wonder if they ever rate themselves who's the number one writer whoa 26 years and running nice work fellas we should all send ourselves some pro flowers yep they got an amazing deal go to pro flowers dot com click on the microphone in the top right corner and type in ace that is pro flowers dot com click on the microphone promo code ace order now great sponsors offer expires soon so let's get on this bad boy all right the great dave damashek everyone dave damashek football program is the podcast it's out on itunes a website dave damashek dot nfl dot com and uh you can twitter him at dave ah sorry at damashek we'll bring in uh the legendary john densmore from the doors next the adam corolla show honors journalistic excellence with another great moment in local news brief from adness as a california college student in a bit of trouble tonight you're looking at a more than two and a half pound marijuana joint when you say a student at uc santa cruz made the giant joint as part of a 420 celebration over the weekend suspect was arrested for possessing more than an ounce of pot this video already has about 100 000 hits on youtube the spirit of murrow and cronkite live on now back to the adam corolla show john densmore from the doors of course is join us in studio the book is called the doors unhinged available on amazon and you know what to do if you're gonna go to amazon go to adamcroll dot com click through the banner on our website great see you john i'm a big doors fan well thank you adam i uh many questions one is i thought val kilmer should have been nominated or at least one the academy award for his portrayal of jim morrison because he was jim morrison to me eight seconds into that movie and i never looked back i never questioned a thing he was jim all the way through but as someone who knew jim morrison was it to you adam i have said that in interviews 20 or 30 times that he should have been nominated he gave me the creeps on the set i thought jim andia oh no i got it right i got you now well yeah i'm not really into guys but he's a looker yeah you'll never make in the nba uh it was so wait wait let me say yes you know i mean like i thought jim was back for a second there was just like outrageous it was close i think the tallest order i mean when you're portraying you know an artist who's uh only paints with their left foot or whatever it is that's fine but portraying somebody that everyone knows you heard the singing voice you've seen i mean when he's doing that photo session and stuff that's he just he became jim morrison he just was him yeah definitely bearded put the weight on he did the singing in the movie as well the weight the weight's a little padding under the shirt you know but still that's a talented actor stuff a bill under his shirt all right here's the val cammer story i'm hanging with him on the set and a few months later i'm surfing the tv and and tombstone is on and i'm watching it for about a half an hour before i realize it's him that means he's a good actor damn yeah you know so i and i loved you know my thing i love that movie i love the doors movie uh i read no one gets out of here alive i screw that up i get that right no yeah no one here gets out alive no one here gets out alive i always screwed up but um the movie i felt sort of high when i left that movie like i felt like i was on i took some peyote and went out to the desert and became the lizard king floyd red crow westerman was inside him that's right yeah yeah and uh that's what i love about oliver stone yeah and i'm sure he's a colossal blow hard but still that was a nice piece of filmmaking great well he says if you don't like your foot on my chest don't go to my movies right well there you go and and what is and when you saw most times when you take the people who were there firsthand and you show them this thing that someone else created saying well this is how it was they just shake their head and go they're not even close but that movie to you not only great movie but fairly accurate very accurate um in this book i write about how uh amy madigan ed harris's wife says to me at a party when they're shooting the oliver stone movie they're going to take a six-year career and cram it into two hours it's going to be an impressionistic painting don't get too crazy i was already kind of right i'd say a third of it is fiction but uh it's a beautiful sort of impressionistic painting and the story for you goes how how do you meet the fellas how does it all what's where do you grow up what's your background and how's it all come together let's just start from the i just love this i love the story um hmm well um robby krueger and i uh he's the guitar player are taking then legal psychedelics um but we're realizing it's kind of shattering on the nervous system so maybe this meditation thing would be cool so we go to this maharishi meditation class two years before the Beatles thank you and uh we're talking 66 67 like 65 wow and rey is there and uh he says oh i hear you're a drummer you know come down in jam and and and then i go down to his garage without robby and there's this guy lurking in the corner who's so shy it's ridiculous and rey says this is the new lead singer okay and he won't even look at us and but then he hands me a crumpled piece of paper that says day destroys the night night divides the day tried to run tried to hide break out through the other side oh man i'm gonna drum to that which i always thought of i love that song but i always sort of thought of that is almost the first punk rock song like it had a drive to it it was kind of angry and i don't mean angry like you can almost hear it but i remember having this thought many years ago this you know when i started listening to joe jackson and elvis castello and people like that you know late 70s early 80s it was like fast short angry to the point and kind of built her crescendo at the end but it had a hook to it and i thought this kind of is sort of punk in a in a way before punk was around i used to say that la woman our last album was the first punk album because we made it in a rehearsal studio cheap and just fucked the mistakes and the feeling and and the next album i think was my aim is true by elvis castello for about 10 grand i thought oh yeah that's right you know it was uh always eerie i remember i was installing closets at the time someone's house and uh when i was working installing closets and they were playing riders on the storm and they were explaining that jim had died before this song had been mastered or been whatever and the stuff was added on to it the rain and that kind of stuff but wrong jay was saying that he was gone before this song came out and i thought that would that was eerie to me okay i don't know if that's correct or not we we we put the rain and thunder on when we mixed it it was really fun it was like playing god we had one machine for constant rain and and and thunder and then occasional thunder claps right after something we wanted a song or whatever so jim had gone to paris and uh la won't know uh lover madeline was the hit single right and then the record company was saying wow it's doing great maybe riders could be the second single and that's when jim called me and asked me what was up and i said wow it's doing great riders yeah is uh next and he went cool and then i never saw him again was uh when you found out that he'd passed away were you surprised or did you almost you know they're people in in all of our lives where if you heard they passed away you'd go i'm sad but i'm not shocked it's a mixture of both i i didn't quite believe it i thought oh he's just going to be an irish drunk who lives to 80 right how did you find out um rey and i and robby were actually jamming at our rehearsal studio and uh it was two weeks after mccartney rumors he was dead all right so we told our manager well just get on a plane right now and go find see if it's true and he came back and said it's true and he's buried whoa wow yeah i you know it was back i mean obviously now you'd know just check twitter you'd know very quickly if this happened back then and yeah there's a mccartney thing yeah i've been to his grave site in paris by the way yeah well first i walked through the catacombs to see all the skulls i was seeing it was a feel-good uplifted field trip has anyone ever been to those catacombs it's crazy been the one of vatican but that's a similar little you you walk down a whole bunch of stairs next you know your three four stories under paris and there's just bones and skulls just piled up and then after that to feel better we went to go see jim Morrison's grave yeah but but uh sorry i i cut off your answering Adam's question of um did you expected it all or did you not see that coming at all well i knew he was different the minute i met him you know and i said to robbie uh whoa and robbie said charisma went okay but i you know what do you think it really was oh alcoholism you know he drank that much oh yeah yeah and what was the story i know is i think his father was a rear admiral yeah but why did he have a falling out with his parents he would do interviews and say his parents are dead or his dad's dead and that kind of stuff what was there loud of animosity with them did they hang out ever to talk to see him adam it's uh him saying his parents were deceased in the original bio is a metaphor for the period of the 60s when it was polarized into foreign against the vietnam war and the whole country was that way and and jim's dad was on an aircraft carrier fighting the war and we wrote the unknown soldier which is sort of right you know and so there was you know this tension that well but this lawsuit i got into the sweet thing about it was i met jim's dad for the first time he came to defend his son's legacy even after all of that what was the lawsuit about and i know that's what's chronicled in the book yeah um the doors were knocked off their hinges for a couple years with ray and robbie thinking that they could go on without jim let alone yours truly but right um the stones without mick and the police without staying in the game and founding members of the doors is cool former you know but they just want to be the doors yeah was was there so i mean obviously you have people like the doors are one of the biggest bands on the planet they're selling tons and tons of records there's there's a whole machine that's around them record guys and agents and pr people and everything and so everyone's goes into that well it's so sad that jim's past and boy this is tough and then a week later someone looks around and goes we're not going to stop this cash machine from rolling down the highway anymore like were there conversations about who we can get from other bands or who can step up or well well um we didn't want to replace him so we made a couple album with ray and robbie trying to sing but immediately at madison yeah avenue was on it because the rolling stone had jim on the cover saying he's hot he's sexy and he's dead right right yeah so did you get was there any weird people who called like i was just watching um behind the music and they were they were uh doing deep purple and they were showing all the lead singers that kind of went through that revolving door and here comes david coverdale and he's working at a shoe store or something and he just sends his tape in and did is there any names or anybody that that tried to come at your that tried to jump ship or that you remember and we were kicking around a few names joe cocker i can't think of any right now but you know it's hard to fill those leather pants yeah no i i the the thing that's crazy about jim Morrison is i mean he had the look he had the sound he had like the charisma he had the whatever it's the fact that he i think what 27 when he died the 27 club yeah there were uh jimmy henricks jenice japlin i'm trying to think i think was who's that perky bayonet thank her yeah oh really yeah insane um i wax on a little bit about that club in this book there's an african mythology that the elders are supposed to watch the kids from 14 to 27 and this myth and this mythology was going on thousands of years ago so that's a pivotal age yeah my dad would have made a horrible african elder because he's like hey you're 18 and a half let's go get out of the garage time to get a gig go get a fucking apartment for you guys i mean if you're in your early 20s you're immortal late 20s oh you might get married and have kids right so um now the lawsuit became about the name and who owned the name and what to do with the name correct and i know that when when jim Morrison passed away then all the stuff all the stuff ended up with his wife right right and then she killed herself or od or something shortly thereafter right i mean it wasn't that long yeah she died of substance abuse yep i mean a year or so after a couple couple and then all the money ended up in her family yeah but then jim's parents came around and her parents graciously graciously said all right we'll split it yeah because it's kind of weird that all of a sudden you have this i don't know 20 something year old daughter she od's and all sudden you're half millions and millions of dollars coming your way from the son-in-law you probably didn't even like i don't know how her family was but it would seem only right that the morrison name should get even though yeah he said he you were he was dead to him uh so now how does it how do all the royalties and all the things work out it's the same and uh because jim couldn't play an instrument or a chord on anything he said uh how do you do this how do you write songs let's split everything let's split the money let's let's give the writing credit to the doors instead of me as the lyricist which is a very cool gesture and let's have veto power in case anybody gets weird i've used that quite a bit right what did that mean anyone could veto anything at any point yeah it's gotta be unanimous and then the lawsuit was about that too and so the doors generate through publishing and through whatever still millions and millions of dollars yearly right we all have a nice house and not as many groovy cars as you but a couple and you're going off to the rock and roll hall fame tomorrow yeah and i'm just doing a reading and a book signing and then i'm going to new york and friday gonna do something with mr fowlin oh cool and how so are you i what you know i'm always curious about people who were in something that was so massive that sometime they have this period where they want to get away from it and then at some point it seems like they have this realization that this is who they are and and that they should embrace it so did you ever have a time like are you happy just to be the ambassador for the doors basically or was there a time i don't know in the early 80s or mid let's see when he died in 70 i don't think i went he died the 69 70 71 71 was there a time in 1976 when you're like i don't want to be known as the doors guy i want to with my own music i want to i'd like to leave this behind like like actors will do with it yeah yeah uh there's a little of that and in my first self-centered memoir writers on the storm i said i guess of the doors is permanently etched on my forehead and uh and i'm proud of it um you know when you're uh not the lead singer you're just on the side of that bright spotlight and you only get singed a little bit right dangerous right in the middle there i like the fact that the doors were doing things like crystal ship stuff like that just stuff like uh show me the way the next whiskey barns that kind of stuff that had nothing to do with anything i mean of its time like see sometimes when you hear some of that british invasion stuff like the Beatles came around and then everyone went come on everyone paul revere and the raiders come on everyone everyone jump on everyone jump on this bandwagon and let's see how much money we can make in 10 minutes they were just the doors were just doing whatever the doors were doing it didn't seem to be connected to anything and that's why i can listen to it today and not think about a specific year that it came out you know so it's like all that sort of summer of love 1969 shit and even the psychedelic stuff i mean hell ted newton was doing psychedelic stuff just because i'm sure someone from the label said do some psychedelic shit yeah i think because we were this melting pot i was a jazz freak and uh ray was classical and blues from chicago and robby flamenco and jim read every friggin book on the planet so it was just like american gumbo or something that came out kind of unique isn't also nuts that there is no bass player in the band i don't know how many bands don't have a bass player there's plenty that don't have a guy playing the organ but not playing the bass that's almost like you start with the drums then you go to the bass and then you just keep building from there's a salad with no lettuce we i mean funky lettuce but you know we auditioned several bass players one being a girl we were ahead of our time but it made us sound like another white blues band like the stones and then ray stumbled onto this keyboard bass and so we went with that and it kind of left a hole a more room for me to show off anyway and we were playing the philmore avalon and the guy ousley who made all the lsd way back he came back said you guys got a hole in your sound you need a bass you're something you know and he left and i said to ray hey if we're making the acid king nervous we're on to something which is your favorite album um i love la woman i loved strange days the second album because it was uh we got relaxed in the studio we weren't worried about all this technology uh favorite song oh man all of them adam and man uh la woman the song has a great groove and if i do say so yeah and in the middle jim had this thing mr mojo rising and i got mojo was a sexual term so i say hey let's slow it down and speed it up like an orgasm right only it was seven minutes and by the end i wanted to approximate the same tempo was on the front of the tune five minutes earlier and i i overshot it adam yeah prematurely it happens to the best of us yeah uh and it's also a time i don't think djs will play seven minute songs anymore everything's gotta be everything's gotta be well they don't have dj so there's none of that going on but yeah this is it's a good drum and song too yeah it's a good freeway song yeah yeah it's like i'm moving forward one of the nicest uh i've said it before but my friend who passed away recently uh you all know is philip the juggler he and i drove from um let's see we were in uh nevada but we're in a lake uh let's see where the hell are we uh we drove through yosemite we drove back to la and uh mammoth we're in you know tahoe i think we're in tahoe we drove i don't know we drove through mammoth anyway we started off in tahoe we said we're driving we're driving through yosemite and we're driving back to la and all we had was best of the doors and we just put it on there and we just played it and we just drove and we just looked at the scenery okay well in this book i got a quote from this great novelist local guy uh what's his name john um it's gone um and he says the doors music is like you know you're driving down sunset and you hit a curve and the car goes off into the sky and you're definitely listening to riders on the storm or something so yeah well that's who we were just driving through this incredible that that highway between i don't know tahoe and mammoth or tar mammoth and uh an la or or or yosemite i i don't know i can't remember which stretch it's a it's a great stretch of highway and if the eagles are playing you'll be annoyed that's that's what i'm saying ruin the fucking drive you gotta be late you'll be late and if i heard i've heard i heard dirty laundry two times in less than 30 hours and i want to fucking kill myself so the point is is we listen to the doors and uh it was just it was magical and now that my friend is is not with us anymore it really i harken back to that to that ride is a magical moment john densbar i know you've got a flight to catch so we're going to let you go the doors unhinged is the name of the book it's available on amazon thank you so much for coming in and come back anytime you like cool all right we will uh i think we'll just keep it going here we'll do some uh do some news with uh alison rosen i will uh queue up a uh one of my uh fine fine sponsors thank you john adios legal zoom baby oh apropos legal zoom mm-hmm we put it to the test Dawson he set up an LLC with these guys yeah boss i was inspired by you uh thank you getting my own thing going not really a pirate ship more of like a raiding party so i i i tried to incorporate a truck in our tube yeah a guy sitting on it with a half open beer absolutely six back in the middle uh huh turn the lights absolutely uh trying to incorporate on my own was a a ridiculous nightmare there's too many forms too many fees and um you search for online help and every single online forum seems to contradict each other so i went to legal zoom dot com 30 minutes later my work was done i saved time i saved money because i entered adam in the referral box to check out and it's a huge relief knowing it's all done but more importantly done right well if you want to start in it s corp but non-profit legal zoom takes here l lc like dawson takes care of you start to finish start your business right at legal zoom dot com legal zoom is not a law firm but they can connect you to an attorney and provide self-help services of your specific direction for even more savings enter adam in the referral box to check out start your business protect your family and safeguard your assets at legal zoom dot com all right should we do a little news yes the news with allison rozen she'll read some news from her iPad sometimes it's good sometimes it's bad it's allison allison and when it's time to wrap it up she'll sign it off with zippin cut it's allison allison i didn't get the doors unhinged thing until halfway through i mean i did but like i said i used to hang doors right so you think about doors and hinges yeah yeah i do yeah unfair advantage i was a huge doors fan so that was super cool yeah that was fun they have uh by the way yeah i don't want to get into hinge specific but you know as you know i don't call them john's back by the way signed i hope signed a book for me thanks john uh i don't call them french doors i call them freedom doors that's me it's beautiful all right so the uh mother of the boston bombers is in the news still uh because it turns out that russian authorities had had been listening in on her phone calls and that's not the russia i know but keep going and in one she was they say vaguely discussing jihad with her elder son like a dusting of jihad yeah because like there's they they haven't there was nothing no specific plans or anything but just that it had come up i don't happen with me and my mom when we're talking muffins you know i'd be like uh be sad if something happened to that muffin shop wouldn't mind what do you mean what do you mean sad like what yeah like a blew up or something yeah that would be sad yeah be a lot of poppy seed in the air yeah pretty bad for everyone involves all the uh if it i mean locals yeah um she just seems like a colossal piece of shit and she so she's been wearing the hijab and talking about 9 11 being applauded against muslims and she herself has become more um i mean they're not using the word radicalized but more religious let's say she was not always the case we're looking at a photo of her right now looking kind of like austin powers um then there's another there's another photo of her where she has this like crazy ratted up 80s hair yeah at some point she became much more um i don't know religious look to me your kids are sort of like a dog and when your dog bites somebody you get sued and i know at a certain point the kid becomes an adult and there's not much you can do because the dog doesn't live in your yard anymore but wouldn't you guys and and don't give me the slippery slope bullshit wouldn't you guys like a society where when something happens meaning your kid shoots up a movie theater or he heats up a crock pot tries to take out some marathon runners wouldn't you like a system where we went let's check with moms and pops i want to see what's going on and if i find out that there's a lot of jihad talk around the dinner table or and or a lot of putting out the cigarettes on the ass when you're being aenoly violated by dad who was drunk uh then some of this is going to fall in his lap pardon the pun you know because there's one thing it's one thing when the dog goes rogue but it's another thing when the dog was severely beaten and kept in the basement and malnourished and then the dog gets out and the dog starts running a muck yeah and when mama is talking jihad then obviously i mean let's just put it this way and conspiracy theories if if dr drew and his wife raised these two kids do you think they would have killed people in boston i suspect not probably not right so parenting has an effect does it or does it not like i i you know we could we all agree we do this thing all the time where we go hey parenting you got to read to your kids you have to talk to your kids uh swimmer we need another ps a talk to your kids not about jihad but talk to your kids you're 80 yards i love this super fucking no shit Sherlock ps a's hey talk to your kids like oh i was gonna have no communication with each other i was using a dry race board but what are you saying swimmer put down the dry race board it's gonna lightheaded from the fumes didn't we do this 10 years ago no we're incurring to them not talk about jihad this time more specific so more jihad talk no no no that's none actually so the smattering of jihad dog we're looking for none just read the dry i don't do zero jihad talk in my ps a's and even the ones involving water skiing safety have some jihad sprinkled in yeah okay the point is this um we've all figured out that read to your kids uh get to them early and often and tell them about drugs talk to them about alcohol talk to them about safe sex talk to them but but but but but but but but so the parents can have a positive effect and a and a child in a young person's life right we all we get it what about the negative side can't a parent turn a kid into a little bit of a beast that society has to deal with the question that the question of because you know you're you're talking about two different or two things which can create a beast which is mistreatment and neglect or it what if the parents share these ideologies yeah but if you take a look at any kid i'm not any but 90 whatever percent of the you know Aryan nation you know uh any one of these kids dad filled them with a bunch of poison at some point 90 something percent of the time once a while some guy goes rogue and he goes against his parents but for the most part daddy's fill his head now you've now created a young racist who could possibly act out is then then when the guy goes and shoots up some people goes down to the synagogue to burn it was that kind of on you is that kind of on the parents so i always want everything to be on the parents now again we could look into it and turn out these guys were fine and the kid just went rogue but if they didn't i went to fucking parents discipline and i went a message to all parents if you your kid meaning your dog gets out of your gate and goes and bites society in the ass we're coming for you uh the fertilizer plant that blew up in west texas we're revisiting stories big stories that have updates turns out it had uh 1350 times the amount of explosives it should have it was only supposed to have 400 they refer to it as fertilizer by the way just on the plant you know they don't call it a really they just call it fertilizer possibly product one guy called it explosives that i think it was dismissed yeah yeah um you don't call that little pack of flour food explosives try not to okay yeah it was supposed to have less than 400 pounds of ammonium nitrate but instead it had 270 tons the substance and 400 pounds is the threshold where the plant would have had to inform the department of homeland security yeah so here's what's going on ever since timmy mcvay got the rider truck and packed it full of fertilizer people started realizing just like if you're buying suede a fret suede a fed hey you're buying a case of that stuff maybe you're cooking meth we'll put a limit on this which is kind of sad because i like to make a fertilizer run like once a year sure big time so nuts a couple metric tons of fertilizer in the back of the outing but now plants of shit yeah now yeah especially during bulb season seriously i know okay what's your favorite bulb to plant you know i don't want to jinx it okay sorry right yeah bulb so let's do a question really you know i don't like that okay too anyway came up in the gardening club here's the deal um so in terms of like cia cia fbi homeland security and all that kind of stuff okay before 9 11 somebody said uh hey uh we think that they might try to fly airplanes into buildings uh then you had these guys at a flight school in florida just wanting wanting to know about taking off uh you know uh 757s but not so interested in the landing part and a bunch of guys on watch list and no fucking red flags went up anywhere and then it's like all right well 9 11 lesson learned well evidently not because the soviet union put these guys on their list and they misspelled something on the flight manifest and they got lost but you watch all those tv shows where we got 25 24 hours we're going to break this case wide open and blah blah blah and you sort of realize i'm starting to wonder if we got the best and the brightest it seems like you're starting i feel like we certainly don't a lot of loopholes are huge a lot of stuff gets fucking swept under the carpet and they miss a lot of stuff and yeah that's like clerical error these guys are on a list and another country and it's it's sort of like when russia tells you someone is fucked up that's like when guns and roses says you're too high you have to leave the band you're too fucked up for this band poor steven adler that's what i'm saying like you're too fucking yes we're into copious amounts of drugs but even we have limits yeah it's like getting kicked out of juvenile detention yeah for being too too big a badass right all right so it's just let's get on our game here people shall we okay yeah all right do you do you know anyone who works in any capacity where they should be the best and the brightest all i know is i was on a flight a few years ago with a guy look like he'd never worn a sport jacket in his life like the guy wears a sport jacket except for you know the guys who put him on for weddings and free enrolls and they stand weird you stand weird and i was on a flight with a guy and he's a tsa guy and he was you know sky cop and i just said to him uh what's up he's like at first off he didn't look like he was should be in first class people in first class don't wear sport coats they were sweat jackets but the rich you know and i said to him uh what's going on and he's like nothing and i said uh what business he in and he's like uh the uh uh uh sky marshal i don't say anything like i do like to i had to a question and a half to crack him you rung it out of him you come up with something like you know i make plumbing couplers here's how we do it you ask me i'll be the sky marshall here's how you do it sky marshals okay hey how's it going it's good thanks how are you what business you definitely not sky marshalling that's right that's the answer through you off the cent you're totally hundred degrees other way that's right that's right so uh yeah you kind of wonder and then you hear about the guys in the boat and he doesn't have a gun first off after the shootout don't they have a bird in the air like one of my friends said to me they have this big shootout in the middle of boston a guy just gets away like where's the guy go like how's he just get away we don't have a couple helicopters in the air with the spotlight going he's running down the whatever you just stand you're gonna stand in the middle of boston he's gonna shoot it out and then you're just gonna all be gone for a while now be gone for the weekend and how easy is it to lose someone i evidently there's should have been a ton of them there i've seen the town much easier town right much easier than you think and then he's in the boat he doesn't have a gun they're opening fire on there like we're getting news reports that he shot himself but but he didn't then they don't find a gun in the thing it's all it's all kind of fucked up the la pd is shooting up the two mexican ladies are sleeping in the tundra it's not as good as it should be yeah the fda is going to be investigating foods that have added caffeine because right now uh trail mix potato chips and gum have extra caffeine because who doesn't need more energy in their trail mix potato chips and gum and they're saying that it hasn't really adequately been studied what potato chips the certain brands of varieties right not all but like oh no not all of them no but like jolt potato chips yeah i mean they're calling it something yes they're well okay i'm gonna be a word energy gum oh i said i said alert the exact same time you said the word alert that's right freak out i'm trying to find the name alert energy gums you want to be alert by the way you uh you try out one of our new sponsors on it dot com that's on and it dot com professional athletes and top medical professionals got together they create food supplements jump ropes i was using their jump rope tonight look at me my legs have never looked sexier hey fellas i'm ready for summer i like the people that are ready for summer yeah they have a product alpha brain you just put it on just gives laser beam focus and uh good friend joe rogan uses this stuff he's in with these guys he takes the alpha brain before he does the ufc broadcast before he does a stand-up plus supplements for your mood performance they got hemp protein called hemp force stuff's awesome try this stuff just a whole bunch of really good stuff all just high-end supplements equipment whatever you need to go to on it dot com slash adam that is on and it dot com slash adam 10 off your order 100 satisfaction guaranteed or your money back that makes sense because if you weren't satisfied but then went well what are you gonna do when we guarantee you'd be satisfied but you chose not to but you were not parting with our money then that would make sense at all on it dot com two ends slash adam all right sorry where was you well i was gonna say how much energy do we need and do we really need to get our caffeine from all these different sources except i'm yawning and if there were chips that had caffeine in them right now i might try them mm-hmm well you know it's a drug and i mean not in a bad way but i mean we're it's this is weird thing where we're we're living in a time where we're all trying to do eight things simultaneously do you have that feeling yeah i'm trying to not listen to you and i'm trying to do a show yeah i'm the same way i'm trying to tune myself out i can't stop my mouth from moving oh i'm trying to oh i got super overwhelmed always yes i've i got a book proposal i want to do a documentary on paul newman's driving i've got a rom-com i'm working on uh i got uh i got to uh talk to my kids swimmer told me to talk to the kids i got to talk to them just combine all these into one i got a business to run over here there's so much junk going on and i feel like there's not enough hours in the day but do you feel like these uh extra bursts of of caffeine or what have you does that help no i was uh having a heart to heart with my makeup lady at oriily today because that's what you get a lot of makeup lady i never thought it's a weird thing because there's no there's no makeup lady that i've ever had where she says i love vintage car racing and the rams and uh masturbation and podcasts like we never never makeup ladies are their own breed i feel like i know where you're going with this and i agree yeah i've had makeup ladies that wanted to talk about their birds and how their birds thought they were people and how their birds knew what they were thinking and things like that when you're in the chair you end up saying oh really your bird said that you are you're passive you're passive yeah you're so yeah so there's a lot of that conversation a lot of conversation all makeup ladies they're either nuts or super nuts there's not there's not a sort of in between and they won't meet you halfway either you have to go all the way to the nuts side of the street and talk about it and so the first thing i end up doing is having conversations like well i have combination skin with an oily t-zone like stuff i never thought i'd discuss with anybody then they're you know they're they're applying the makeup and it's going to take 15 minutes and you don't realize it's not two of you sitting at a sports bar watching a tv set it's just the two of you in a room while one applies makeup to the other one so you find yourself sort of sitting there and and a lot of bosoms in your face yes yes once a while you elbow the bosom and then it's unclear like should you say sorry or pretend like it didn't happen or they're used to it what's bosom etiquette here so a lot i had one woman when i did love line who held her dog held her dog and applied makeup with the other hand the free hand because not a two-handed gig you know so there's that there's always a little there's always a little stuff with the lip gloss the the Vaseline thing to get the smear it sometimes they put on a little knife and they'll put it on your finger other times they don't like it when you don't want to put your finger on their Vaseline thing i didn't know that they put Vaseline on men's lips they'll do it because it'll get dry and they'll just they'll do it and then they tell you wipe it off it'll look too shiny you'll be too kissable if that's possible Karola are there makeup guys and are they equally kooky rarely makeup guys there's all there's hair guys that are kooky there's makeup women that are kooky and like i said they range from a little bit kooky to super off the charts kooky but like i said there is no such thing as one where we can just talk about engines or turbo chargers or transmissions or anything like that occasionally they'd be like so what are you going to talk about on the show but that is never a fulfilling conversation no so it's a lot of you sitting there and the conversation i had today was about napping now this something sink my teeth into right it's a meaty topic we need to nap and we somewhere around three three thirty in the afternoon need to go down for twenty minutes and we'll have a good night or we'll finish the rest of our work day and be productive we've powered through that with a sort of you know energy drink or whatever we're doing everyone should just spread it out about three o'clock it's twenty minutes it doesn't take an hour and you always hear those studies about like you know more productive or CEOs or vp's you know better take naps right they're better than but then it always ends up like yeah but you do feel kind of lazy or you do that personally i do feel like italy and mexico is kind of fucking the nap up for us thanks yes to us yeah because they've taken it a little like uh we're shutting down the shop from twelve thirty to about four in the afternoon like i didn't say fucking go to bed for a second time i said take a twenty minute nap see i always think i'm gonna take i think i should take a nap i could go lay down in my bed or i could just go relax and and take a little snooze or uni on the couch and then i then i start checking twitter and then i'm back at my computer like it never i think for it to work you have to be in your bed i i i'm the same way and i'm secretly envious and violent when i think about this person you ever meet this person where they go i lay down about five o'clock and it's gonna take a twenty minute nap and i woke up at three forty five in the morning i feel like how fucking out of it can you be like i don't know man i just slept there it's like were you darted no man i just i guess i was really tired like i really tired but you just fucking went all the way through like i didn't know if it was three forty five in the morning or three forty five the next afternoon i fucking hate that i wake up every half hour i have to fucking loot lee all right let's bring it home baby girl that's the news i'm allison rosen to bitcons that was the news with allison rosen a national academy of sports medicine this is what you should be doing if you're not doing anything else like i said you know when i was nineteen when i was twenty i was rudderless i just i didn't even uh forget about the rudder i was taking on water just walking through town going i wouldn't be an ambulance driver or butcher or fireman no direction whatsoever so i wasted my life i went to junior college i sat around and rotted there and then i just started picking up garbage on a construction site just living like a raccoon so you're saying don't do that oh no no oh no you don't hear me it worked for him i should let's say anything i should i'm sorry i'm saying don't do that stop wasting time forget those horrible dead end jobs national academy of sports medicine that guarantee you'll get a job within 90 days of earning your personal trainer certification or your money back and this is a gig that i did like except for i only got 20 bucks i did privates and i charged people 20 bucks an hour i should have charged more you did private him all gotta break yeah fitness industry industry is booming and uh there's huge demand for certified personal trainers and you're gonna earn a ton of money and again staying shape have fun i liked my gig like i said i never it's too stupid to get certified making any money but it was a fun gig and they have a free 14 day sneak peek you can go to usatrainor.com usatrainor.com fun easy online that's usatrainor.com all right i want to thank the great john denz more for coming out the doors unhinged because i got hinges on them doors you see also david amishek as well and the doors book available on amazon you know what to do us with jeff ross at a malphy coming up on uh wednesday and uh me and drew henna nap i think that's about sold out but uh i'm gonna be where they make man greea at california shiners really cool and nap that's may 18th and then i'm doing the race the following day we're doing the show that night so last time i went out there shitload of people showed up we all got drunk and had a good time so uh come on out say hi california shiners may 18th 6 p.m in nap and until next time adam krull for john denz more david amishek alison rosen and bald brine san mahalo i don't understand with so many beautiful women in the world why you'd want to go for dudes all right as adam kruller showed 1067 that does it this weekend scroll classics until tomorrow mal and give it on uh is always free hazah slido tv stream now pay 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