Once We Were Allergic to Everything and Answered Your Burning Questions | Episode 14

We were going to do Serenity, and they were going to rebuild everything. And I went into the production offices just to take a look around and just to bask in it all. And they were talking about, yeah, we don't know. We don't know how to, we've got to rebuild this ship, and we don't even know what it looked like. Come to find out, I don't know how many years later, I'm cleaning out my garage, and there's this giant tube, cardboard tube. And I, what's in here? And I pull it out. Giant, full-sized blueprints for Serenity. I had the blueprints of the spaceship. So when they were saying, we can't find the blueprints, we don't know how to do this. They're talking exactly to the guy who had them. And I just shrugged and said, what are you going to do? Once we were spacemen. Spacemen. I tend to play weird people, usually aliens and robots and things that don't have romance. I once didn't get a job where they were looking for a Nathan Fillion type. Once we were spacemen. Once we were spacemen. Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to Once We Were Spacemen. spacemen because it was one time that we were spacemen. We would go to Fox Lot and we would go into Soundstage 4 and Soundstage 4 was space. It was our space. It was your space. We missed that space. And now we have this space to talk to you from. And it's us who were once the spacemen who will always be spacemen who are talking to you now who we believe you also to be spacemen alan tudyk hello sir nathan filion how you doing buddy i'm a little okay i'm a little under the weather oh no uh-huh so you're gonna hear there's some things you're gonna hear that kind of thing you're gonna hear a little bit of that sexy sexy little blow just to clear out the gunk from my sinus area and my frontal mask. You know what? I'm going to just, I'm weighing that against the quality time I spend with you. I say that's a fair price to pay. Good. I'm glad you're willing to suffer through. What you were just saying about the Fox lot and stage four, was that really the stage number? Was it stage four? Yeah. Yeah. Okay. It reminded me of two things. One was I visited the Fox lot after we finished Firefly. This first time I visited was not long after. It was right after we got canceled. And I just said, hey, I'm here. I'm just going to slip in and see if that set is still up. Yeah. And I opened the doors, the little doors, not the big elephant doors. Popped in the little fire door and watched as a forklift smashed down the whole medical bay lounge area. of the lower... That's the sound I made. It tore at me. It destroyed me. That was... And then... Yeah, it was awful. And then the second time was much later, and I was attending a party, and they were using a soundstage as the event space, and it was all decorated. It was all really beautiful, and I looked around, and I went, holy crap, this is where my spaceship was. I am right now standing Approximately where the cargo bay door was That's where the engine would have been And that's where the door had been And those are the catwalks up there I was standing right there It was a had a moment I've refused to go on the Fox lot since That's how Okay, I haven't been invited back I'll admit it It's been 20 That'll teach them Now I went back I actually went back and did a Joss Whedon show. I did, what was the thing with Eliza? Dollhouse. Dollhouse. With the lovely and talented Eliza Dushku. Yes, who was also in Con Man. God bless her. Yeah, I did Dollhouse. It was just a few years after we were done. It was like, Joss, Fox? Really? There were, again, there were disagreements between. But I guess there's always, I assume there's going to be some friction between the studio and the creators. At least there always was when it was a Joss Whedon show. Yeah. When art meets finance, I think there's always going to be a... Yeah. It's tough to come to the same understanding. Do you remember, because now we're talking about, I'm still stuck on the ship. Well, I'm sure, and there's got to be a deep scar where the thing was crushing the medical bay. That seems like an unnecessary wound. That's, I mean, my God. To go back in time and unsee that, that would certainly be something. But this is actually a happy memory now. We were going to do Serenity, and they were going to rebuild everything. And I went into the production offices just to take a look around and just to bask in it all. And they were talking about, yeah, we don't know. We don't know how to—we've got to rebuild this ship, and we don't even know what it looked like. And I said, oh, I took a ton of photos of a bunch of old plans and stuff when we did the pilot. So I emailed them all these photos of all these different plans and whatnot, this and that. Like blueprints? Well, like blueprints, but not blueprints. Okay. Come to find out, I don't know how many years later, I'm cleaning out my garage and there's this giant tube, cardboard tube. What's in here? And I pull it out. Giant full-sized blueprints for Serenity. Oh, for Serenity. I had the blueprints of the spaceship. Oh, from Firefly that Serenity wanted. Yes, yes. So when they were saying, we can't find the blueprints. We don't know how to do this. They're talking exactly to the guy who had them. And I just shrugged and said, what are you going to do? I have some photos you can maybe piece it together. Is that how they pieced it together, though, from your photos? Yeah, my photos played a part in there. The Serenity spaceship was far more, I think, detailed and more budget and went into it and whatnot. But when they were building the actual ship, I went into the bridge for the first time and I looked around. They said, what do you think? And I was, oh, my gosh, I was beside myself. And I looked all around. I sat in Wash's pilot chair and I looked up and I said, you're going to need three switches right up here. He said, what? I said, every time Alan does something in this chair, he starts with these three switches up here. He's going to need those. And they said, OK, yeah, yeah, we can do that. Right here? I said, yeah, right there. And then I was there the first time you got on the bridge. I got to watch you and see your impression of it. You went, whoa. You were just like me. You did exactly everything I did. You were like, oh, yeah, look at this. Oh, and you got this, this. You sat in your chair. You kind of bounced in it a second. Yeah, you grabbed the yolk. You went, oh, yeah. You looked up. You went, click, click, click. Yeah, that would be like the Alexa of, sorry if I just set off anybody's that word. Hey, my name is Denise. By saying that, does that still happen? I guess that could possibly happen. It does. It does. It does. So that would be like the click, click, click. All right, spaceship, serenity, get ready. Something's about to happen. It needed that shift in clicking before, and it could be, yeah, either way. A little tickle to get things started. A story that you've told many times at conventions that maybe somebody listening to this right now has not heard, though, is what did you take from the Firefly set? I think we've all taken something. Your story, I think, is the best. It's not a contest, Nathan. And look, yes, I win the contest, but it doesn't, it shouldn't. We're friends. We don't need to compete like that. I'm glad. Yeah. But yeah, totally won on what I took. Although I took, I don't have it anymore because what I took was the switch from Out of Gas. Out of Gas, which was many of the cast's favorite episode, written by Tim Minear, I believe. and it was a button that when the ship was, it had a problem with the, not primary buffer panel, but the- Catalyzer. Catalyzer. Oh God, you know, sometimes when things are broke, they're just broke and that thing broke. And so we took off in the two ships on the side and you were left on the ship until your miracle came and I put a button there and I said to Captain Mal, hey, whenever your miracle gets here, just hit this button and we'll all come running. And I tried to take my steering wheel, but that son of a bitch was on good. I needed tools that I didn't have. The dinosaurs had already been gone. Somebody had taken them. I couldn't figure out what to grab. And then I saw that button and I pulled it. And since it had been put on later and wasn't welded to the thing, it just came off in my hand. And now that was mine. And I was sitting on my desk at home. And I never felt like it was mine. I felt like it was Joss's. And so I went to go give it to Joss. And he had just, you know, he was trying to get serenity made. And it just all kind of fell in that I, he wasn't there when I got to the mutant enemy offices. But I went and set it on his desk and wrote on a note, when your miracle gets here, just hit this button and we'll all come running. It's so, I want to cry right now. That's such a poignant, beautiful, perfect peace and moment. He said it was, it came at a time when he felt like he really needed a boost. He felt like it was an impossible thing he was trying to do. He felt like nobody even cared, or I don't even remember why he felt down about it, but he said that it made a difference, so that's nice. Mm. Mm. Yeah. I didn't tell him how much it cost. I still have got to get that. I mean, that wasn't for free. I mean, like, I say gift. Do you know what I could have made on eBay with this? Good God. Cash, oh, baby. That's a piece of history right there. Have you ever looked on eBay and seen how many forged autographs? Oh, no. Your face tells me no. I've looked on eBay. I can look at my autograph and say, I signed that. Yeah. Or I clearly did not sign that. Yeah. I think literally anyone could with a side-by-side comparison. But there's like a ton of stuff over there on eBay. Wow. People are clearly forging our autographs. Yours, not so tough. Mine is flowing. And beautiful. Yeah, and it's very, yeah. Yeah. Yours is like a crayon in the left hand. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Grabbed with a fist of a three-year-old. Yeah, yeah, that's mine. So anybody out there who has a three-year-old who's not left-handed, you can sign like me. Make bank on eBay. You know, there's some people, some actors, who have different signatures. Like if you hassle them in an airport, they have an airport signature, which is not their signature. I do this. Yeah, you do this. Yeah. So they have the not signature signature. Well, I do this not because I'm annoyed, but if the situation warrants, like, there's just no time and a bunch of people are shoving things into your face, that's not my least favorite is the pushing things in my face. I'll keep it at an arm's length and I'll initial. Oh, okay. I just initial. Okay. That keeps, everybody gets a little something. I was in the airport with Summer Glau. Just to remind you, she played River in the show. You remember her? I keep talking, and if it rings a bell, I'll let you know. She was like, crazy all the time, cutting people up. And she was, I couldn't. There weren't enough space drugs to quiet that girl down anyway. No power in the verse can stop me. What was I saying? Oh, yeah. I was in an airport with Summer, and this woman comes up, and she's like, could you sign this for me? And she goes, I don't sign in airports. It's just, I can't. And she, she stood right with her and she said, my child is, she had some big story. And she's like, I'm sorry, I really can't. And she wouldn't leave her alone. It was crazy. I don't know what her deal was. Let's end this story. So you have the initials. That's great. I don't sign in airports. That's just the rule because it's creepy to me that you have to go in and like, who's on what flight and all that stuff, you shouldn't be able to find out that stuff. And if you are looking in that, it's a little creepy. Yeah, there was a group of fellows in Vancouver who, whenever I had a flight coming out of Vancouver, they were there with a stack of stuff. You know, at this point, they're not fans. They're just, they're selling this stuff on eBay and whatnot. But someone's given them my flight information. I had someone come up to me at an airport and they had a picture of, they say, here, could you sign this picture I took of you sleeping the other night? And I knew they were a fan. Alan, I apologized for that six times. Okay, but it's just you went the extra effort, so I knew you cared. On a certain side, I knew you cared. Another part of me knew law enforcement needed to get involved. I'm glad that's behind us. Yeah. Glad that's behind us. How you been? How I been? Yeah. I been. You know, Resident Alien ended. It did? Yeah, Resident Alien was my main job. So that ended a while ago now. So I would think I would not be working. I would have much more just time on my hands. I'd be chilling out. I'd be relaxing and enjoying a little time to recuperate. I believe that artists, after they put out a lot of energy and creation, it's good to go into sort of a fallow period, if you will, a time to reflect, to sort of let the soil get nutrients in it again so you can grow something new. I'm not fallowing much. I'm staying super busy, and I feel like I'm busier than I've ever been. Just going here, going there, going here, going there. I have a lot of recordings for a lot of animated projects. I'm just flying around a lot. We're moving. We're trying to—there's just so many. I never stop. I feel like I'm busier now. I've got projects that I'm writing and trying to get off the ground and stuff. It's just a different kind of busy. I'm pretty busy. Pretty busy. Some of it exciting as hell and I can discuss it And some of it exciting as hell And I can discuss that either They just exciting in different ways When you working and you have a steady gig your hands are tied I got to be here for this amount of time and when I got home I got two hours. I'm just gonna use that chill and recharge a little bit and then go back tomorrow and start again. Your hands are tied. When you don't have a steady schedule, now life is yours to deal with. You got to handle your business. You got to tie your own hands. And it's hard to get the other one tied. The first one's easy. It's the second one. You're like, I can't get it. If you hold them together and you kind of swing the rope around, you can kind of get a little. Oh, that's a man who's tied his own hands before. That's a man who knows. I enjoy animation. I love it. You're talking about doing some voice work. Yeah. I enjoy animation. I can't count in the amount of times I've been watching something and said, holy crap, that's Alan. Rick and Morty, one of my favorite shows I was watching an episode Stephen Colbert was one of the guests Yeah, yeah And you were the mayor of this town And you were hilarious And then later on in the episode You were another You were one of the police officers Oh yeah In a SWAT team And you had a very emotional scene And it was One of my favorite episodes One of my favorite episodes You're all over it And again, one of those episodes where I got to call you and go, you did Rick and Morty? You did Rick and Morty. Oh, yeah, I did. Yeah, I did Rick and Morty, but I called you right away and said, guess what, I did Rick and Morty. I had t-shirts made. I have a mug. You have a mug. I gave you the mug. Nathan's on Rick and Morty. Yeah, that was a cool, I love Rick and Morty. It was very cool to be in. I need to, I want to be in it again now. I mean, I met the new Rick and Morty guys. There's two young guys doing the voices Because it's no longer Justin I have no doubt they'll have you back And here's another thing about you Let me tell you a little something about you, Alan Tell me, buddy You've got something on your face What? What is this? Oh, that's a booger Again, let me Oh, I haven't followed through with my sick sounds Thank you And for those people who have a gag reflex Sorry That was for you I have no doubt they will have you back Because we did this at a panel one time Where I just started prattling off all the roles that I could remember you doing. And I had about eight off the top of my head. And you just did each voice, each voice, each voice. And they're all different. Of course, they'll have you back because you can do anything that they need. Whereas they've had me on and I'm a one-trick pony. I kind of sound like me all the time. That's a good thing. That's a good thing to be able to be you. Listen, it's great. It's a little limiting to have the one thing. If they need this, I'm perfect. If they need anything, you're perfect. Yeah, I don't know about that. Thank you very much. I used to consider myself for many years not a voiceover actor, even though I was doing big jobs that were voice jobs, because I know voiceover actors who are like Nolan North, like John DiMaggio, people who can not only, they have range and they can do anything, Like you're saying, they have the ability to just, gosh, do anything. They have instruments that are like Broadway stars where they can just batter the hell out of them, hit all the high notes, and then show up for a two-show day the next day. Like they have the ability just to come right back because they have – they got the pipes. I'm, you know, I'm an actor who began doing voiceover, but now I think I'm starting to get it. I'm starting to get it. About 15 years later, I'm starting to – I feel like I'm getting there, a voiceover. I wonder about your gauge sometimes. We talked once about success, and you said, What did you call me? I am married to a woman. That's a master punchline. That's a master punchline, sir. Oh, it is? Yeah. What did you call me? What did you call me? Yeah, that is a master punchline. I use that one. That's right. I use that one. I use that all the time, that one. Yeah. So it would be, what did you just call me? Nice. Nice. So, as I was saying, we were talking about success, and you said, I don't know if I'm a success. And all your work is, well, that's just work. Well, yes, you are successful in that you work a tremendous amount. And now you're saying, oh, I don't know that I'm a voice actor. Guess what, Alan? You are what you do. Yeah, if I'm just looking at your IMDB, yeah, you're a voice actor, and you do these things. I'm going to tell people something about you that they might not know. Oh, oh, oh, I had one about you too. Dang. Okay, go on. Maybe I'll remember it. When Alan sets his mind to something, and con man is a fantastic example. I want to do this. He does it, and not in a small way. He starts at the bottom, and he works out all the bits, and then he follows through until the very end and goes, there, I did it. One of the ones that they don't know about is Alan one time said, I'm going to learn how to play guitar. I said oh really because that's an endeavor it's not like you just pick it up you got a Alan went and he happened into an incredible guitar actually you found some guitar that was custom made for somebody who didn't want it anymore you wound up getting a very nice custom guitar piece that was really quite beautiful but you started taking lessons from two different teachers over in your neighborhood I want to say in Venice Yeah. And you said, oh, I like this guy because he teaches me about this kind of stuff. And I like this guy because he teaches more like this kind of stuff and this. And then weeks later, a couple of weeks later, I said, how are the lessons going? And you said, oh, I wrote a song. What? Yeah, I wrote a little song. And then you picked up a guitar and you started playing the song. And not only were you— And you said, that is Stairway to Heaven, Alan. I don't think you wrote that. but not only were you playing guitar, but you also came up with a song that was melodic and was poignant. It had poetry. It meant something. I was looking at you going, holy crap. You started this two weeks ago? And now I can't play guitar. Raisin hated it. She'd run away, and I couldn't handle the rejection. She said, Alan, you're a piano man. Yes. Sing us a song You're a piano man What do you think about a really quick segment Get to know you better And then go on to some fan questions This is something that you had talked about the other day Because when we do panels There's usually fans to ask questions So we went on our social medias Got a bunch of questions We're going to answer some of those today Great But before we do that Would you like to do a little Let's get to know you better Oh yeah Yes Let's do that Play that song I know you and you know me Let's get to know you better Alright, would you like to start, Helen? Okay, I'll start Oh no, I started last, you start Okay, last time Last time you had like a It was a harrowing Yeah, harrowing story I tried to dig a little deeper this time Just to get something a little With a little more juice A little more meat I tried to get away from stories of murder. So I'm a little less. All right. So with that episode and this episode, I think we'll achieve some balance. All right. Okay, good. Listen to episode 12, Once We Came of Age, to hear Alan's story. My mother and my brother, when my brother and I were children, conspired against me so that for Halloween, they tricked me into dressing like Raggedy Ann. They tricked me into dressing like Raggedy Ann for Halloween. Now, my mother, God rest her soul, not dead, she used to make our Halloween costumes, and she would go to the fabric store, and she would go into a magazine and buy a pattern. She had a sewing machine in the basement, and she would buy all the fabrics, and she would make elaborate, like incredible costumes from patterns and sew them all together and stiffeners. We were Donald Duck. We were Donald Ducks one year. We were Mickey Mouse's one year. But this was early in the Halloween career. My mother took my brother aside and said, Hey, I'm going to say, hey, what do you want to be for Halloween? You can be Raggedy Ann or you can be Raggedy Andy. And I want you to say, I want to be Raggedy Ann. My brother said, no way. She goes, no, no, no. Just say it and don't worry about it. So later on, while they were in front of me, you know, I'm just a little kid. My mother says, hey, what do you guys want? Jeff, do you want to be Raggedy Ann or do you want to be Raggedy Ann? He goes, I want to be Raggedy Ann. I said, I want to be Raggedy Ann because that's what brothers do. And my mother did this thing where she said, okay, Jeff, you know, we should really let him be Raggedy Ann because he's, you know, he's in it. And I thought I was, I was like, yeah, I had no idea what we were talking about. I don't know who that is. So she made some costumes and there's Raggedy Andy and I'm Raggedy Ann. Oh no. Yeah. She followed through with it. Oh yeah. She had a plan. Yeah. And I learned something that day, Alan, that Halloween day in early 70s, mid 70s. I learned never to trust my mother and brother. Those are type alcohol. Yeah, I think that is fair. Family will always screw you. Did they openly laugh at you? Or did they go along with it and it was something? I don't know that they were openly laughing. I mean, listen, if you go back and look at the photos from our family albums, it's super cute and it's an amazing story. But how dare you? I always wanted a daughter. I'm so screwed up, Bella. It screwed me up. To this day, I can't date women with yarn hair. Yeah, so I think the following year, she wanted to do Mickey Mouse and Minnie Mouse, and they tried the same trick, and I was not to be fooled. So there were two Mickey Mouses that year, and there were two Donald Ducks the next year. That was not working anymore, that little trick. Wow. Oh, yes. I did not know that about you. I did not know that about you. That is a fact. I think I have the photos to back that up. I know I do. All right. Here's my thing. Okay. I love laughter. I like comedy. I like laughter. But there are two laughs. And, like, there's a couple in another category, like three and four, that are a little concerning. But there are two laughs I do not accept as laughter. Okay. Now, yep, two types of laugh that I find offensive. One very offensive and one just, okay. One of them, I call it the XKS laugh, which is when people go, okay. That laugh is all about you. That's about the person making the sound saying, look at me, look at me, look at me. It's sort of a snide laugh. It's like, well, I guess I'm going to laugh. I see what you did there and everybody look at me, look at me, look at me. I'm commenting on what you just did that is supposed to make me laugh. And I'll give you this laugh. Now, I know that seems a little snooty. I get it. But dang it, it is not a laugh. It's not a genuine, joyful laugh. It's got an opinion, and I don't like it. It's been put on. It's been put on, and I don't like it, and it's very much like, look at me, look at me, look at me. The other one, and this one, man, it's a tss. That is a hiss. That is, you've heard boo hiss? That's a full-on hiss. That's a tss. It will, if done in a theater setting or in an audience, somebody does that tss, it will quiet other laughter. It's a natural thing that people stop laughing. Because I've heard it happen, and it is offensive. It is like you might as well just go ahead and say boo and like let everybody know where you're living. Don't hide behind your little. It's snide. It's rude. And I don't appreciate it. I think this is something that you clearly think about. Well, I've experienced it. I've experienced it. The S one is really hard. That one's hard. That one's hard because I've seen it. I've been in theater settings where it's killed laughs. And it's just like, you're ruining this. You're ruining it. I don't know that I've had any experience with that second laugh. I do know what you're talking about with that first laugh. I've never quantified it. But you're right. I don't think it's about, it's not about the joke. It's not about sharing in the laughter. You know what I find often is some of them will say, that's funny. It's like, hey, thanks. But how about just you, rather than tell me, you just maybe chuckle a bit. That is the other, that's the other category. Those are the other two. One of them is, that's funny. And you'll get it a lot from comics, because comics do it with one another because they're craftsmen and they think about the jokes as, I don't know, as work or something, where they can be like, no, that's funny, that's funny, from a place of authority or something. And, you know, I don't know. If you're in a room and you're writing jokes with somebody or something and you're exchanging this punchline for that punchline, no, that one's funny. That one's funnier. I get it, where it's taken out of context and it just becomes a thing and not the actual story. But for somebody to go, that's funny, it really comes off as snotty. Again, I'm talking about my mother and you know my mom. We've talked about this before. You and she get along very well. She's very funny. My running gag with my mom is when she's funny, I'll say, mom, that was really funny. Like I'm super surprised. And her answer is always, I'm very funny. I'm just able to say that. I'm perfect. The appropriate response. She makes me laugh a great deal. Yeah she is very funny All right And the other within that same because there one more I have a lot of gripes evidently about laughter I have a lot of opinions LOL of course For somebody to say, oh, LOL. That is, no, you're not LOLing. That is not laugh out loud. If you laugh out loud, you actually have a laugh out loud. That is some kind of spectator standing beside their life doing asides. It's like a restoration comedy where they turn to the audience and go, well, that is the kind of thing. Like, they're not actually involved in their life. They're just going, oh, well, that isn't a laugh. Alan, I think because comedy is your business. You're a professional. I guess. Yeah. Yeah. I have a lot of opinions about it. I love comedy. I think that's what it is. I love it, so I respect it. Yeah. And I do laugh a lot. You know, when somebody does something that's, oh, I feel it so deeply. When somebody's really funny, I love that. I love that feeling. I mean, I recognize the construction of humor. There's knowledge I've garnered over time where I say, hey, this is the punchline. This is the funny part. So you can't add more sentence onto the end of that. You're burying the punchline. So let's just flip this sentence around so you can start it like this and then you end with the punchline. Because that's where the funny is. You don't want to keep talking after that. But your understanding of comedy and how it works. Listen, I admire you for a lot of reasons, and your expertise and how your brain functions is one of them. And so this is just an example of that. Alan. Okay, yes. This is a fantastic idea that you had. I don't mean to say it's right. You know, I think it's, you know, it's a classic. Like if we had a call-in show. Right. That would be fun. Hey, guys. I'm John from Wisconsin. I've always wondered. Long-time listener, first-time caller. Yes. We have a list of questions here. We have a ton. We have so many. Some of them are so quick to answer, though. There was one in here. This is Lindsay. This is from my Instagram. Someone slapped up a question for you on my Instagram. The question is, Alan, you have so many allergies. If you could get rid of one, which one would you choose? Now, I'm going to add a little question to this. How do these people know about your allergies? cheese. Yeah, well, you do interviews and stuff comes out. Recently, I started doing a podcast with my friend Nathan Fillion, and I seem to say all sorts of crap I wouldn't say in any interview. But since it's he and I talking, I just let it all spill. I remember you saying that you have like a sensitivity to dairy because we were talking about the Parmesan cheese thing. Right. Thank you for the question, Lindsay. There was a thing in Resident Alien where my character loved pizza. And it came out that what's ironic about that is of pizza, the best things about it are the crust and the cheese and the sauce. And of those three things, I can only eat the sauce. So my character was eating this bizarre pizza that was made of cauliflower crust and nut cheese. And it's not, it's like nut, it's cheese made from like cashews, which I'm also allergic to. So it was cheese made from something other than cashews because I can't eat that stuff. If you could get rid of one allergy. Right. Wow. Peanut butter was really great. I loved that. A peanut's some allergic to that. Probably eggs. Eggs because they're in so many things and it's such a good breakfast. I would go with eggs, but I can't eat eggs. And it's right between eggs and gluten. That's so sad. I really love eggs. Rub it in, Nathan. Just rub it in. You know the secret to cooking eggs, Alan, is cook them real slow and then don't overcook them. Oh, my goodness. Okay. Okay, good. I'll never need that. A few years ago, you know, just suddenly was allergic to everything. It was wild, and maybe science one day will come up with a cure. What's left that you are not allergic to that you really love? Coffee. Having something else. This is my favorite food. Coffee, you know, I can eat meats. You know, I'm not really a big meat eater, but I have to be. Gluten-free bread, that's the thing. Like gluten-free bread, they've managed to figure that out on so many levels. There is a pastry shop in Paris that does, it's a gluten-free pastry shop. And you come in and there's a little concierge. And he's like, hello, hello, bonjour. And he has a little, like a platter with him. And they've got all of these pastries laid out all over this shop. And you come around and you look at the ones and it'll have it all listed out. like, they'll have it in French and they'll have it in English also. Like, we made this with oat flour or a walnut flour or this kind of thing. And they'd say all the ingredients to how they made the thing. And they make French pastries, which are, of course, very good. Before you remove the gluten, they figured out how to make them very good with the gluten. And Carissa, luckily, she's allergic. I mean, I'm sorry that she's allergic to gluten as well. But luckily, we both have the same affliction. And we went in there and we just bought up the whole shop. and then just gorged ourselves and just had a diabetic issue. But it was, you know, I don't fault them. It was great. This allergy story had a happy ending. I like that. It did. So thank you, Lindsay, for that question. If I could, that would be it. Nathan, let me ask you a question. Please. This is from Brady. Brady M. Brady M. would like to know, I would love to hear a bit from Nathan about his time as Captain Hammer and Dr. Horrible's sing-along. What can you share with us about that special time during a writer's strike, I believe it was? That's right. The writers were going to prove to the producers, we don't need you guys so much. So they came up with striketv.net, and everybody was producing something. James Gunn did PG porn, which we were both involved in. We did those. Yes. Yours was brilliant. It's one of my... Yeah, yours was the best. But yes, we're both fans of each other in that way. I will argue with this. Yours is brilliant. Your character breaks down at one point. I do cry. I cry in most of my roles, though. If you haven't noticed that, you might notice it now. There's a wonderful film where you have a, I don't want to say a cameo role because it seems integral, but... He keeps coming back. You think he's gone, he comes back. It's called Premature. And it's one of these kind of high school coming of age. It is like Groundhog's Day, but with premature ejaculation. Yes. Imagine that pitch. Kind of teeny bopper humor, but Groundhog's Day where the day keeps resetting. But you have a role in there as the college counselor. Yes. That piece that you did in that, I show that to people. I do. That is one of, you know I love Tucker and Dale versus Evil. You're working that. Yes. Incredible. and this is another piece that you've done that I'm just such a huge fan. Anyway. Nathan, you're very generous. You've just mentioned two of my movies and how much you love my roles in them. Yeah. This question is about you and your role. What was the question? Can I just say you're wonderful in this so I can just try to equalize this a little bit. Dr. Horrible, sing-along blog. Right. That was so much fun because when I first started out in the industry, I kind of had a hope and a dream as to what it would be like, and that was way off base. I wished it was like, hey, I got an idea. Let's make this. And there was a bunch of friends get together, and I got some costumes we can use, and we can use this old barn for a stage, and that would be a bunch of friends having good times and laughing and having fun. And not all jobs are like that, Alan. Not all jobs are like that. No. They're rarely like that. Exactly. But Dr. Horrible was exactly that. It was everybody pulling together to make this thing on a shoestring budget with little to no permits. And we lost the light at one point for this outdoor shot. And a couple of people just held up their iPhones for lighting Neil Patrick Harris' face. He's just griping down the street. And I mean, that's how we did it. It was guerrilla filmmaking, if you will. But with Joss Whedon and you and Neil Patrick Harris. Yeah. It's so cool to have. Yeah. Those are some good guerrillas to have. This will be great. And it was. It was great. And I remember we did a scene where I had a little bit of a stunt where I was standing on top of a van that's careening down the street. Now back, everyone, nothing here to see. Just in and a danger in the middle of it, me. Yes, Captain Hammer's here, hair blowing in the breeze. The day needs my saving expertise. And for this, they put you in a belt. and the belt is secured by some lines that go down into the van itself. So you are secured to the van. And if you stand up against it, you are solid. You're not going anywhere. Which also means you're not going anywhere. So while, you know, between scenes, between shots, you just have to stay up there on top of the van. And I remember taking a little nap up on top of the van on a beautiful day at the Universal lot on this kind of, they have a street there that they use for shooting. It looks like a little city and it's beautiful. He used the lot? So he like, he's, because this, I know Joss did this on his own dime. So he like paid for the lot. That's where we were. We were at the Universal lot on the New York street of sorts. Not cheap. I don't think it was even a week later, I was getting on a plane at the Burbank airport. And as we're taking off, I look out the left side of the plane towards the south, towards Universal Studios, to billowing black smoke. It was a fire. and I think the King Kong ride had an incident and it burned down and that's like the back end of the King Kong ride was the King Kong portion of the tram ride had burned down and that burned down New York Street so we were the last thing to film on that New York Street before they had a tremendous fire Love started that fire I hate Not the beast it was the whatever that last line is in that King Kong movie The line is, it wasn't the airplanes. It was beauty that killed the beast. That's my little tidbit of Dr. Horrible. I had a lovely time. I met some really wonderful, wonderful people on that that I'm friends with to this day. Felicia Day, also, I didn't mention her earlier, and the great gorillas, top gorillas of all time. It was so very cool, and Hollywood then woke up and went, oh, somebody finally figured out how to make money on the Internet, because that's how long ago it was. That somebody was Felicia Day. She had a whole thing. out there on the internet. And I remember Joss going to her saying, so what do we do next? What's your opinion about this? And she, because she's done it all. Really? Yeah, she's done it all. Wow. Alan? Yes. Poster Cheyenne wants to know, how do actors smoke in films? Are they using real cigarettes or are they using fake cigarettes? That's a great question, Poster Cheyenne. They're real. They're not real. It depends. I did a movie called Trumbo. where there were some actors who decided to smoke their own cigarettes. And heck, I've smoked my own cigarettes in a little movie called 28 Days with Sandra Bullock. And I learned in that movie, don't smoke cigarettes if you can avoid it. Because the continuity of cigarettes, like when you're filmmaking, you do a wide shot and a closer shot and a close shot and angle from over there and angle from over there. And you're in many shots. and so you can be spending four hours on one little one and a half minute scene you're gonna smoke that same cigarette for four hours so if you're taking a drag you're gonna be taking a drag for four hours and you make yourself sick and the way that cigarettes work nicotine it's a drug you just flood your system with nicotine you feel sick and then you want more cigarettes so i in 28 days i have almost quit and i was down to so few cigarettes and i did that scene and i was like back on, baby. I smoked in Resident Alien the last season. I played an evil, I played a different alien who smoked and they give you these herbal cigarettes that you smoke that don't have any nicotine in them. They have marshmallow or something. It stinks. It really stinks. It smells like, I don't know, like a garbage fire and you have to inhale them. And if I would jog after doing that, my lungs hurt. So you're still inhaling smoke. It's not good for you, but it doesn't make you addicted is the positive thing. So if you can avoid it, don't do it. If you're an actor out there who's thinking it'd be really cool if I smoked here, be careful. You might regret it. That's what I say. Those are Hollywood secrets. Hollywood secrets. Brad Pitt often eats in scenes. And if you're eating an apple, I don't know if you've ever had six apples, but it's rough on the system. It's gassy. Yeah, yeah. Nobody wants, even Brad Pitt, you know. It's the pits. Honey! It's the pits. It's fighting up the set. I have worked out a little trick for eating on camera where I'll, you know, get like a spoonful of food, a forkful of something, and go to eat it right before I say something. And then so that it looks like my action was interrupted by a line. I'll time it in such a way. And then somebody else says something. And when it cuts back to me, I'm chewing. I'm pretending to chew. So I never actually eat anything. And then the food on the plate in the prop department, it doesn't have to be reset. Because if you do eat, you've got to come back in and reset the food and make sure your bite has been replaced. Yeah. That kind of thing. That give them something to do. Yeah, I wish I had said when you said it was the pits, I would have said the poots. Even Brad Pitt, that's the pits. Actually, it's the poots, Nathan. I have another question here. I know it's your turn, but I'm going to go again. This is Amanda. Amanda? Do you ever argue between the two of us about who's funnier? The answer? No. Alan? No. You're funnier. I acquiesce. Nathan! Listen, I'm super funnier. I'll be the first to tell you. This is not true. This is not true. Alan says listen when he's buying time to figure out what he's going to say next. Look, listen. And Alan, I've stolen this. I know I stolen this because I listened to this podcast and I done it many times just from recording I know I do it I do it in real life when i realized that what you were doing i said that actually a great way to buy some time tell them to listen listen listen listen listen well that's that's very generous i say the same of you and joss whedon would back me up that it is you i got i got people on my side this is you being modest. It serves no one, Alan. No one's going to believe you. Case in point, stop patronizing me. So I get to now ask a question. Here we go. Nathan, Trisa? Trisa? I know you're thinking, you're thinking of Trisa 26? This is from Trisa 24. Oh, okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah. This is Trisa 24. I'm going to do a total Trisa. This is how she talks. Nathan, any fun stories? Isn't that a perfect Trista 24? It's like listening to a mirror that Trista's looking into. Looking in that you're listening to. Nathan, any fun stories to share from your time on Buffy? Oh my gosh. I'm so glad you asked. Is Trista like a little old lady who's gripping a walker? I want to get her a chair and say, please sit down while I regale you with this story. I'm scared you're going to fall. Sorry, Trista. That wasn't your voice. I apologize. You know, that was just me and some hijinks. Nathan? The highest. You want to answer about Buffy? The highest of jinx. I'll tell you this. When I think about my time on Buffy, there was this big old fight scene that we had to do. And we had filmed all the bits with Sarah Michelle Gellar. I mean, she worked very hard on that show. So I think the idea was to film all her bits and then wrap it up for her and let her go home. So she left, and it was me and her stunt double, who was a petite little lady, very small. Who would do, like, call her off-camera for her? Not her off-camera, her literal, her stunt double. This was her stunts. So she was very small, but very athletic, really like a solid little gymnast lady. And they said, all right, we need you to kind of grab her by the torso here and then slam her up against the roof with one hand. And I said, oh, I don't know that I can. And then I picked this lady up and I said, oh, yeah, I can do that. Yes, I can do that. I can. They had this low ceiling and she was little. And I spent the evening throwing this lady around the room. Throw her into that wall. Slam her up into the ceiling. Drop her over to the table. And she just would bounce off things and pop right up. And it was like, you know when you go to a family gathering and there's a swimming pool and all the kids like, throw me in the pool. Oh, yeah. And you throw the kid in the pool. It was that. But throwing her into, you know, make-believe big walls. Oh, that is, yeah. Some people are made of different stuff, man. They are truly just, they love it. They love it. Alan. Yes? Oz Whiz wants to know about the roles you've played, which comes closest to who you are in real life? Wash. Easy answer. Thanks, Oz Whiz. And that's why I like Wash so much. I did a rewatch of Firefly last year with my wife. First time her and I watched it together. And I love it more than I did back when we made it. I'll admit I had some issues when we were making it. I loved the show. I liked working on it. But I was like, what's this Chinese? I have Chinese. You've mentioned this. Yeah, you've mentioned. I have, yeah. And when I watched it, we absolutely had to have Chinese, and it was awesome. That's a lesson in humility, Alan. And that's also a marker of your growth, kind of looking back and saying, oh, how wrong I was. Speaking of growth, Doctor, could you take a look at this? That is not right. Please don't show me that. It's the one that I showed you before, but it's still changing. Now it's crusting over. Yeah, yeah. That's what I thought was that. Does it have teeth? I think it's a twin. I think it's a twin. Oh, I see. I think you've got to join. You've absorbed something. Well, it's slowly working its way out. Oh, God. Okay. Anyway, that's disgusting. All right. Well, do we have one final question? No, here we go. Nathan. Yeah. Livvy Starr would like to know if you and I would consider taking this podcast on the road for a live show one day. I have two thoughts about that. Okay. Because when we do this sort of thing with a panel at a convention, and I've mentioned this before, it's a stacked deck. It's a very forgiving audience that will laugh at. They're ready to laugh. They're ready to go. They're pre-warmed up. Everything, Alan, that you have ever done that someone is a fan of is essentially an ambassador for you. It goes there before you and has them all warmed up and ready to like you. And when you show up, it's easy peasy because of the ambassador that went before you. Yes. So on one side, I'm thinking, that'd be great. We would be doing this stuff, but we'd have people laughing about it and people would laugh. And then my other thing is, people might say, if this were a podcast, I'd probably fast forward this bit. Ten seconds, ten seconds, ten seconds. Yeah. I hadn't thought of that. I know that people do that. People take podcasts on the road, and I don't know what they do to, you know, that they would have, they have people to interview. I've seen some with like an audio video. You know, I want stuff like that. You know, like we could, I think we would have to work up a little bit of a show. If we do this, if we were to do this. Yeah. We would be then partially a visual medium at that point. We'd have to start. I would have you do the bit, I've never stopped thinking about this. The bit that you showed me about a play you were in where they were making a big, big movie, a big Cleopatra movie. and you were a young guy just trying to get your start. And they said, you, you're going to be one of the fanning, the slaves fanning Cleopatra. Fan the queen, fan the queen, yeah. You did a bit for me where that character, he's so happy that he's going to be the one fanning Cleopatra and he's up there and he's chest out and he's just fanning so wonderfully, so dramatically fanning this queen of Egypt. and then she demands that you go fetch the wine. Yes, you bow, you go down these long stairs and you get to the wine and you bring up the wine and ding, up pop snakes. And she goes, ah, asps, guards. And the guards come over and kick the crap out of you. Yes. To which they say, cut, cut. They got to do it again. And your guy kind of gets up struggling, gets back up the top. He doesn't know really what's going on. He's fanning, but he's clearly a little disheveled. Fetch me my wine You did this whole bit That I've tried to do for people To try to show them how brilliant You and I would have you do That bit For an audience so that I could Share this There may be people out there who have done This play, it was called Epic Proportions They do it in high schools now also. It was a good play for that. It was a 90-minute play with Kristen Chenoweth and Jeremy Davidson and Ruth Williamson and a bunch of cool people. Yeah, it was a big physical pit. I don't know. We'll have to figure something out, man. I would love to do maybe one. I mean, we can't. There's a great Monty Python sketch. I did that play, An Evening Without Monty Python, which sounds like a terrible idea because it's us doing Monty Python sketches, but without Python, and nobody in it from Monty Python. Eric Idle directed it. He wrote a couple of new things. But there was a sketch that they did not do on camera. You can find it from live shows. It's one we could do. You could play the Pope. That would be the Cleese's role, where he says, bring in Leonardo da Vinci. Is he here? Yes, yes. Bring him in. The Last Supper. I need to discuss it. The Last Supper. I love that sketch. And he's like, are you Leonardo da Vinci? Yeah. Hello. And he's like this cockney. What was it? You didn't like the? You didn't like the Jell-O? I'll take it out. Don't worry. Paint it out. He's describing a painting you can't see. What's the problem? Well, there's three of them. Yeah, well, the fat one balances out the two skinny ones. Yeah. See, now we can't use these because we've discussed them. So you know what, Livvy, Star, we're going to work out something. If we do it live, there's going to be a live physical element to it. We'll just have to work that out. Alan. So are you saying we're going to do this? Are you saying we should arrange... Well, if we do, there should be a little bit of a show. You know, if we do, there should be a little bit of a show. I'll say this out. If I did a podcast episode live with you on stage in front of an audience in a theater, and I would be so pleased to do Monty Python sketches with you, to watch a one-man show of you just doing your bits and me reading all the other parts from epic proportions. I would love the opportunity to work with you on stage. I would be up for that. I'm just saying right now. All right. One thing I know that I've always talked about doing, and I would absolutely do it with you, brother, absolutely. Something I always did, I kept pitching to John Lasseter at Disney, that King Candy, I would do King Candy Things vaudeville. All these great old vaudeville songs that are like comedy songs. like the book is so much better than the picture or I'm the kind of guy who sings something awful. I would love to finally maybe live sing one of those songs because... How about a medley? Oh, yeah. Oh, God, yes. We could get John Dinerstein, who did the musical for Con Man, and he could just get on a piano. Say this all part as King Candy. Arrange this as King Candy. We could... All right, I've got a plan. We could get John Dinerstein. He could do the piano because he tinkles the ivories. I'm not talking about piss. He makes beautiful music. I could sing the songs and go from one to another to another. It's called a medley. And I can do them all. Let's do it. Let's do it. Yes. Okay. I am betting right now everybody at Collision 33 who is presently listening to us record this is going, oh, great, now we're going to have to arrange this. It's a lot of work. And now I've got to hire a pianist, but not the act kind. Yeah, so thank you for asking that question. And thank you to everyone who asked questions and sent those in. They were great. Maybe. I think this is a little segment I think we could do more than once. I think we should hang on to some of these questions and maybe continue to peruse our social medias for more questions that people might ask. For all the fans who sign up for Patreon, you are the guys who get to ask questions because you're our favorites. Not to play favorites But I feel like there should be like Benefits with membership kind of thing That's a good benefit I agree, I agree So if you're on Patreon We care about you Just as much as everyone else But a little bit more You're our favorite, don't tell anybody Yeah Yes, so that Alan, I've listened to a couple of our podcasts Yeah, me too You are very entertaining As are you, sir. I think we do a good job together. I always enjoy the time we spent. I always enjoy this. This time that we get to spend and laugh and just talk about it. And it's like, hey, I got to go to work. My hands are tied. I have to do this. I really enjoy that we have to do this. Yeah, man. It's cool. Yeah. We have a play date set up. It's like we've got parents and they have set us up on a play date every week. We got to make that play date. Just send us into a little play pen of some kind. just to burn us out a little bit. Yeah, yeah. Work off some of that peanut butter. Oh, peanut butter. Peanut butter and jelly. Peanut butter and jelly sandwich, best sandwich ever. Oh, my God, on a white bread? Forget about it. I'll keep the crusts on. Thank you very much. Best peanut butter, Jif. Okay, now I'm done. What side of the sandwich do you eat first? The sharp corners or the rounded bits? Sharp corners and the rounded bits. The bottom of the bread or the top? The bottom corner is the bread. that sits in the... Oh, I see, I see, I see. In the tin. Oh, top. The top? You go for the rounded top? What tin? What tin? When they bake bread, they bake bread in a little pan, and it comes up, it billows up the top, but at the bottom, it's squared off. Butter top. That's a butter top. They split that butter right up. Sweet Jiminy. Right up the crack. They split it in the butter. That makes it salty tasty. God damn. One day, the science will catch up and we're going to cure all these food allergies. Till then, I'll just enjoy those sandwiches and describe them to you. Yes, thank you. Thank you very much. Oh my God, thank you for listening. You just bless your heart. You know what? If you haven't yet, why don't you head on over to our Patreon? You're going to get some bonus content. That's extra content. There are longer episodes. There's more there. You know what's better than less? More. You also get a chance to get your hands on some incredible crap. The kinds you don't need to wash off after you're done. And if you love the show, please leave us a review and tell your friends. Once We Were Spaceman is a Collision 33 production. The hell that is. The show's produced by Michelle Chapman. Mm-hmm. Siobhan Holman. Oh, yeah. And Josh Levy. I wear them jeans. He is of Collision 33. It's all starting to make sense. It's edited and mixed and produced by Resident Records, with special thanks to Courtney Blomquist and Adam Townsell. Our theme music's done by Carlos Sosa. The Groove Line Horns guy? Yeah! And Joshua Moore artwork is done by Louis Jensen. Until next time, I swear to God, I love you. No, you're not LOLing.