1459 - How Guys Can Have Multiple & Full Body Orgasms w/Leah Piper

Welcome to the Strictly Anonymous Podcast. Strictly Anonymous Podcast. Conversations with online strangers. We place ads online. The Craigslist is definitely like the gift that keeps on giving. Real people respond. You go to Singapore or Thailand. You can't not do it. The temptation is just too much. Real follows. Your friend know that you're banging her? No. No, he has no idea. And anything goes. The motto of the show, let your freak flag fly. The only good advice I'll ever give you is to Re-hide your wits and change. Here is your host, Kathy. Hey, welcome to the Strictly Anonymous Podcast with Kathy. If you want to follow the Strictly Anonymous Podcast on Instagram or acts, follow the show at Strict Anonymous. If you want to be on the show, it's called Strictly Anonymous because I change everyone's voices. People change their names. 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STC.com is like the world's largest online adult dating site, but it's so much more than a dating site. I mean, you can use it to hook up with people instead of threesomes and all the kind of stuff that people do on my show, but you could also use it to find out about meetups and events in your areas as well as learn stuff about the lifestyle. They have so much information on STC.com. And if you use my code 37712, you'll get a free trial. That's 37712. Or just go to the description and click on the link, and it'll take you right there and set you up with a free trial. So anyway, today I have on Leah Piper. She's so much fun. Leah Piper, she's going to teach you how to master your effing orgasms or your sexual pleasure. Okay, she has a lot to say when it comes to orgasms. She's certified in Tantra. She's a sex and intimacy coach. She really knows what she's talking about, and she's here to tell you that you can take your orgasms to the next level. You know, it takes some mastery. Okay, we're talking sexual mastery here. It takes some practice, right? Breathwork. She talks about breathwork and sound work and teas and denial and all the kind of stuff that you can learn to do to, you know, take your orgasms to a whole other level. And she talks all about how guys can be multi-orgasmic. She breaks it down how sometimes you could have orgasms without ejaculation and how you can go, like I said, from having just that one and done orgasm to having so much more pleasure. She's here with some specific tips that she teaches guys. She has courses you could take to learn more. You're going to get a lot of really, though, great information, like I said, tips and tricks to make your orgasms and your experience with your partner 10,000 times better. I feel like a lot of the stuff she talks about is women could use as well to increase their orgasms and their pleasure in the bedroom. It's super interesting. You're going to learn a lot. She's great. In the beginning, by the way, she was, what she called, she kept, like, sounding a little muffled. You'll hear, like, every now and then she was going in and out and eventually, like, at about 20 minutes and we switched the way we were talking and that goes away. Okay, so bear with it in the beginning. There's a little bit of that, but then that goes away for the rest of the conversation. She also is the host of the Sexed Reimagine podcast. She has a co-host there. She talks to experts, but her links to everything will be in the description. I'm going to get right to it and be right back on with Leah Piper. This is the Strictly Anonymous Podcast. Strictly Anonymous Podcast. Hi, Leah Piper. Welcome to the Strictly Anonymous Podcast. How are you today? I'm wonderful. Thanks for having me. Thanks for coming on, Leah. Listen, besides having your own podcast, you have a co-host on your podcast called the Sex Reimagined Podcast, right? We'll get into that at the end. We'll plug it and everything. You also are, like, I would say a sex and intimacy coach. Is that the proper way? I mean, I feel like you do so much more. I don't know. You explain to me, like, what, you know, what the correct title is. Yeah. So for the past 25 years, my main expertise has been in Tantra Yoga. So I'm an advanced certified Tantra Yoga educator. And then over the years, I've collected numerous other certifications and different somatic therapies, even Kink and BDSM. And I also hold certifications in positive psychology. So, you know, there's so many interesting corners of sex and intimacy, and I have a thirst for it all. Yeah, I love it. I mean, you know, you meet with clients, you help individuals and couples, right? And you obviously work with men. I have a big male audience, and they're loving the fact that I have experts now on my show. Typically, I'm talking to people about their lives, but they love my new addition to have experts on and teach them all kinds of great things. And we're going to talk about, like, sexual mastery, which I feel like, you know, is a very broad term, right? But it really sort of encompasses everything that you love to talk about and help men with, correct? Yeah. I've been working with individuals. I've had my private practice. I'm the founder of More Love Works. But for years, I taught seminars all across the country. A lot of them were directed towards couples, but some singles too. And then we did teacher trainings. So, it's been a really interesting process to watch men unfold and realize that they've gotten such a piss-poor education when it comes to their actual sexual potential. Where do you think they've got that? Where do you think they get that bad education from? Is it porn? Is it from other guys? Is it from not, you know, where are they getting that wrong education from? That's really interesting. I think it's so many corners, right? Yeah. First, we don't get a great education from our family or school. Right. So, like, culture really kind of misleads us a lot because of all the shame and guilt and stuff we feel about sex, you know? So, I think what they end up with is some clinical stuff they might have learned in school having to do with reproduction. Right. And then a lot of it is just trading stories with their pals and porn. Yeah. And our world is really focused on male sexuality, less so on understanding female sexuality. Even in the money that we pour into research, men get most of the funding, women really get left behind. So, the way women can capitalize on their pleasure looks a little differently than how men can capitalize on their pleasure. And so, for all of us to learn how we can all capitalize on pleasure should really be the path we're seeking. Yeah. Because, listen, I think a guy would think, you know, having watched porn all his life, he gets with a woman and he's going to walk in with his heart on and she's going to be instantly hard as well like he is, right? Because in porn, that's the way it is. They don't waste 20 minutes getting her erect and that's how long it takes, you know what I mean? So true. So many guys. And I think women then, it's like such a bad spiral, right? Because then women feel also the same way that what's wrong with me, like why am I not turned on right away too just like he is, right? And then there's like this huge disconnect when that's just not how it works for women. It's so true, you know, we both have the same parts, but we're all organized differently. Yeah. So, we have just as much erectile tissue as men. Men's is organized differently. It's not in one big shaft. So you have to learn like where are all these different pockets of erectile tissue so we can have our lady boner and be able to reach, you know, more profound climaxes. And that's why so many women aren't reaching orgasm through penetration. And when male sex is so penetration oriented, you can really see how we're missing the boat. However, there's a beautiful place for us to meet each other. We just have to learn how to infuse both genders erectile networks so we can all get more bang for our buck. Right. So where do you start with guys when it comes to sexual mastery? Like what are maybe we should like what are the myths that maybe they think? I don't know what you start there and like what's not true or I don't know how you typically would start this conversation. Yeah. Well, most people think that men just their ejaculation is the way that's the only way that they can orgasm. Right. And most men don't know that they can be multi-orgasmic. Most men don't know that they can have full body orgasms. And so for men to realize that there's actually ways for them to get, they're leaving so much pleasure on the table and nobody taught them that there are ways to breathe and move and pulsate these internal muscular contractions that allow them to have mastery over when they ejaculate so that they can make love as long as they want to. And they can have their orgasm when they're ready or when their partner is ready. So that's first and foremost is learn how to master your ejaculatory response so that you feel like you've got more control because I think a lot of men are have a lot of anxiety about what if I come too soon. Total. And especially if their partner has been disappointed that they came before they were ready, that can really build up a lot of self-esteem issues over time. So that's one of the first areas I begin with. And I have to say that it's probably the number one issue most men call me wanting to get some support around is the embarrassment. Pretty mature ejaculation. They're feeling like they're, yeah, exactly. And maybe it's not even a real issue, right? Maybe it's that disconnect or thinking that they, you know, or thinking that maybe they should have to hold out. I mean, I think it's really hard for a guy because like as much as women are in their heads, right? And we're very in our heads. We have to let go of that to get between our legs, right? Like I would assume it's really hard to be like, you have to like, they have to actually go in their head to not come, right? Like sometimes like you see them, like sometimes like in their face, I could I have seen partners like trying not to come and hold off. And like, I think, you know, sometimes they're thinking of crazy things because how do they not allow that? And is it, is this where like your whole Tantra background comes into play as far as like sort of controlling it? Yeah. Yeah. Absolutely. In fact, when we think about like, where do people learn about sex? That's actually one of the first tips they ever learned about is think about your grandma. Yeah. That's about this. Right. Yeah, totally. My God. There's actually much better ways to delay ejaculation than thinking about grandma. I promise you. I mean, do you want to give some ways? Well, absolutely. You know, there's about five to six different methods that I teach most men that I have them practice so that they can learn what's their favorite method because what works for one person may not work for another person. So for instance, I mean, the classic one that I think a lot of people figure out intuitively is stop all the motion, right? Stop all the friction. You know, it's that friction that's going to cause you to pop off. So you can stop the movement for a moment. You can regain some control, but the key is also that you need to in that moment of pause, relax, right? Don't stay tensed up. Really practice in that pause to relax your whole body. Then slow down your breathing because when you get close to ejaculating, you're usually panting or you're holding your breath. So you want to slow down your breathing. And really it's the perfect moment to create more intimacy with your lover. So you, there's some cool style moves you can do. It's like one of the things that guy can say is baby, baby, baby, hold on, hold on. You feel so fucking amazing right now. Let's just breathe together. Like I just want to feel you in stillness, you know, or sweetheart, open your eyes and just be still. Fuck you're hot. You know, like there's things you can stay in those moments without being like, oh, I'm going to come. You're like filled with anxiety. There's some style points in finding the pause. Right. So what you say matters and then opening your eyes and breathing together increases a lot of intimacy. But I'm pretending I'm a guy and I'm listening and I'm thinking, okay, but how do I like, how do I make sure that when I do that, I don't totally lose my erection? Yeah. So that's another fear one has to. Yeah. Counter. I'm really glad you mentioned it. Yeah. Because any of the techniques that I teach, you might lose 10 or 15% of your boner. Right. Here's the thing. Okay. That's okay. And here's the thing you want to know energetically. The Tantricus would call this the Yin Tide, which means if you do a technique and you are increasing intimacy, the energy that is speeding up towards your ejaculation, biologically, it's your body saying, go create the world. Let's create a generation. Right. But we obviously know people are not always creating a generation with the purpose of having sex. So what I love to teach men about the deeper value of controlling when you ejaculate also has to do with creating regeneration in you. If you're not going to make a generation by having sex that day, what if you could take that same life force energy so powerful it can create life and redirect it during your pause periods so that instead of going out of you, the energy recirculates going back into you and the energy goes back to your glands and to your organs. Really it's the fountain of youth for men. So every time you have a pause and you allow the energy to go back, circulate up the body, creating regeneration that you entide, you actually fortify your vitality. Okay, listen, spring is here. Thank God. I totally prefer the warmer weather, but with the warmer weather comes me needing to get together my whole spring wardrobe. And that means you need to get your whole spring wardrobe together too. And that's where quints comes in. 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You'll actually use head to quints.com slash strictly and non for free shipping on your order and 365 day returns now available in Canada too. That's Q I N C E.com slash strictly a non for free shipping and 365 day returns. Quints.com slash strictly a non or just go to the description and click on the link. But the point is, is you want to reverse the polarity of the sexual energy. So two things are happening. Okay. First, we have the practical reason why we want to delay ejaculation because we want to be a stud and last as long as we want to. Right. Right. But then there's another reason, which is more metaphysical and more physiological in nature, which is not being a victim of your biology because your biology is wired to want you to come so that you will create life on the planet. We know we're not going to have a baby with every time we have sex. So we can tell our biology to just hold on. We can connect to our human spirit and we can use that sexual energy to reverse its polarity. So it goes back to the body, making us younger by bringing more vitality because that sexual energy is life force energy. Right. If you can play with it with mastery, then you can actually play with your health with our mastery. So you reverse the polarity in that pause period by breathing with your partner, by opening your eyes and having more intimacy and allowing the yin to that sexual energy goes back to the glands and the organs, which means you may, may not lose 10 to 15 percent of your erection. But as soon as you start moving again, all that friction starts to generate more blood flow and you'll be able to keep going. We have to encounter letting go of the fear of what if I lose my erection? And let's say God forbid the worst thing happens and you lose your erection. And you can't get back. I have another technique. Yeah. You can. So the way to get it back is, okay, so don't stop making love. Remember to make love, especially to a woman takes all of you. It takes your heart. It takes your hands. It takes your mouth. It takes your tongue. It takes your eyes. It takes your words. And you can make love to her with a soft on. There is something so sublime, even with a cock that isn't hard and rigid. When you paint it all over her vulva, because guys need to know that the majority of our erectile tissue, our lady boner is on the outside. It's at our vulva. There's only two pockets that get filled with blood internally. So if you come back to the outside, you're going to be giving her even more pleasure because the vulva often gets ignored, especially in penetration, unless someone is diddling the clit while they're being penetrated. So when you rob, when you rub your soft on all over the vulva, circling the clitoris with your soft on, rolling it up and down, twirling it from side to side. There's so much pleasure in that. Not only that, but now your cock is in your favorite hand, the hand that you've been jerking off with the whole of your life. The longest relationship he's ever had is that relationship to his hand. There's familiarity in that. So oftentimes, so you come out for a little bit, rub or vulva, get that hand motion going just the way you like it. You'll bring more circulation to the penis. You'll get hard again. You go back in and you have a blast. And no need to stress. Yeah. And I think you like literally saying to the guy, like, yeah, you probably will lose it. I mean, I think that it kind of helps take the pressure off, right? Cause I would think that that was, that would be the first thing someone would be paranoid about it. It even come up in my head and on the, even a guy, you know, right? But to say that, yeah, that probably will happen. You'll lose this amount or maybe all of it, but this is how you get it back. And I feel like if you say all those hot things you were talking about before during the pause, while you're like rubbing your, you know, your little mushy ween all over her on the outside and everything. And you're still like talking to her the way you were saying before, like no girl is going to be turned off. You don't even mean like we don't need the hard cock the whole time. You know what I'm saying? No. And that oftentimes we, it's when it's a huge purple bursar, it's actually kind of uncomfortable. I prefer a 90% of cocked super. And sometimes those really, really hard cocks are a little uncomfortable. Yeah. And oftentimes because what I love what Sherry Winston would call mature penetration, a lot of women are being penetrated before they're really ready. Totally. So they're actually enduring more uncomfortable sex. So if, if we could just wait a little while, allow that pause to happen. It actually being juicier. Yeah. I mean, there's a lot of orgasms I can only have with the soft on. And that's another thing most men don't realize is that what's great about a soft on is they're non-threatening. Right. When you've had the penises come at you so much, the majority of your life that you weren't totally ready, but you keep on nudging yourself faster than you really are. So you're enduring more discomfort over large periods of life and time. It's kind of nice not to have to worry about that. So we have to just be again, more spacious. Yeah. The love making is a ride. It's a ride you go on. It's not like when we make the orgasm, the goal, we're all missing the boat. Orgasm is going to happen. It's going to follow the energy. So let things flow. Let it take some turns. Let it be a whole journey. And then we'd all be making love a lot longer and having more fun with it. Right. And doing this, like the pause and everything, that is, is that is the, what is the goal of that is it's, it's increasing at the end of the day, that orgasm that he eventually will have or has multiples. Is this practice that you're talking about leading to multiple full body orgasms and all that kind of great stuff that I've heard of before? Yeah. So it does a couple of things. One is it's kind of like you're building the energy up. So when you, and this pause is just one technique, right? The pause and go. So let's say you get really hot and you get close to that feeling of like, I could come soon. Let's say that happens four times in a love making session, right? You're reaching high levels of arousal and then you're cooling it down with a pause, not letting yourself go to another high level and not letting yourself come. When you build it up like that and you, and you go to peak and then you cool it down, peak, cool it down, peak, cool it down. You'll get more bang for your orgasm. Because you'll have built up the energy so that when you do ejaculate towards the end of love making, it's bigger and it's more intense and it feels more satisfying versus if you ended up popping off before you wanted to, oftentimes it feels a little anti-cligmatic. It's like a sneeze in the groin versus ecstasy. And so this will help you have a bigger payoff when you do ejaculate. Now, so that's one version. Yeah. Now, before we talk about multiple orgasms and orgasming without ejaculating, there's another tip I want to give you for those who need a pressure point in order to help them delay ejaculation. Yes. I've heard of this. And one of, there's a, there's a number of them, but one I'll explain right now is what I call the pole. And what you do is you come to the top of the scrotal sack. Now, men who are listening and probably women who are listening to will, uh, notice that when a man is going into the throes of climax, his testicles slurp up inside of the body and because they get drawn up in order to release that ejaculation. If you keep your testicles lowered so that they can't draw up into the body in order to squirt, you will delay ejaculation. So what you do is you bring your hand around the top of the scrotal sack and you pull the testes down. Please understand. I'm not telling you to wrap your hand around your testicles and pull them down. That might hurt. You go to the top of the scrotal sack where there's no, there's no testicle at the top of the scrotal sack. You're, you're pulling them right on the testicles. The point is, is keep those testing lowered and you will prevent the testicles from moving up towards the body, uh, to release that ejaculation. It's a great move for people who really are, you know, on a, on the arousal scale of one to 10, if one is, I'm horny and 10 is I've evacuated guys who pop off at like 1.5 or two. This is a great technique for them. They could, they could hold their testes down the whole making period and last 10 times longer than their usual time when they're making love or their partner can hold their testicles down when they're going down on them. It's a really great technique. It's very effective. Oh, I'm going to try that next time. You must, you, your lovers must love you. I don't know. Are you married? Do you have one guy in your life? I am married. I am married for about 10 years. Does your husband think you give like the best hat ever? Well, he doesn't complain. And he does last as long as he wants to. Did you teach him? Of course. Yeah. Oh my God. Cause he listened. We all heard, I don't know if you're old enough to know about sting, you know, that's like when we all heard like about sting and his wife doing Tantra and like fucking all day and having millions of orgasms. Right. Like that was the first time we all heard of it. But I think people think it's like some urban myth, right? Like it's not even possible, but you're here to say like all of this is true. And it's really about practice, right? I mean, because these are things that no guy would learn from watching porn or they don't learn it in school or their guy friends not going to tell them about it. Right. Yeah. And what people have to remember when people talk about making love for eight hours at a time, they're not that what they don't know is that doesn't mean that they're having penetrative sex the whole time. Right. Like they're making consists of so many things. Sometimes it's like taking a break and having a conversation while you're naked and pressed up against each other. And then you keep on rolling and moving and caressing and sucking and fucking. There it's a it's a journey again. It's a ride. It's not just one thing. Um, so that's important to remember. Right. And it comes to full body pleasure and full body orgasms. What we want to do is we want to use breath, sound and touch to move the energy that is swelling in our cock and get that sensation to, so we can experience that sensation in other parts of our body. So for an example, and there's lots of different ways to do this, but one way that I think is really fun is I'll stroke his cock with one hand and then I'll stroke his finger with my other hand the same way I'm stroking his cock and get him to concentrate on feeling his finger so that his finger has nearly as much erotic sensation as his cock because we're bringing it's like we're building a highway from the most erotic point on the body to another place on the body. Oh, interesting. You could do the same thing with the nipple. Yeah. Right. You could play with the nipple and have him breathe and start to feel and imagine that he can draw the sensation that he loves in his cock up to his nipple. I've done it with my armpit, by the way. I've always talked about going down on someone's armpit. I'm like, my armpits are connected to my pussy. Like there's just a straight line right there. But I feel like you could do that with any part of your body, right? Yes. Yeah. Yeah. A thousand percent. I love that you brought that up. Yeah. Um, because we, our whole body is in a Rajana zone. In fact, our biggest sex organ on the body is the skin followed by the brain. Yeah, interesting. So we want to engage those, we want to engage our brain and we want to engage our entire body to be a vehicle for ecstasy. Wherever there's a flexible joint in the body or a bend in the body, there are a bundle of nerve endings. I call them secondary Rajana zones. Yeah. Primary Rajana zones are like tits, dicks, clits, snips. Exactly. But, but the secondary Rajana zones are the inner wrist and the elbow and the armpit and the neck and the crease of the buttocks where it meets the thigh and the inner groin and the back of the knees and the toes and the ankles and the fingers and the webs of the fingers. So all of these areas can all be lit up. You can become orgasmic. Totally. In so many different parts of your body, we sort of expect that more from women. But guys, you can have it too. It takes some tickle sensation or any other type of touch sensation that you like. And then you need to imagine that you can build a highway from the sexiest, most alive part of your body for most men that's his cock. And then you want to take it somewhere else in your body. And it just takes being really present and using your breath to imagine it. And then if you can connect to sound, it'll amplify it and it becomes exquisite. And then you'll start to feel this rolling energy roll up your spine with each breath. And you'll notice that I don't just come out my cock. I can come from anywhere. And which leads me to now being multi-orgasmic. Wow. Do you guys know that May is International Mastercation Month? Now listen, no one ever taught anyone how to jerk off properly. So why not take this month to learn something new? And have more fun during your solo play. And you know where you're going to do that? It's on Begicated. Begicated is like the Netflix of sex education. They have over 150 courses to choose from all on sex, including so many courses you could take alone from hand job mastery to squirting courses, male multiple orgasm courses, guided master patient courses, and so much more. What I love personally about Begicated is the fact that most of their courses include video tutorials showing real people doing exactly what you need to do. So you could totally follow along. You're not just reading about it. You learn by seeing it. And that's what I love about Begicated. 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All you got to do is go to the description and click on the link and use my code strictly. What is it? What's like an example of sound that you could add to it? Okay, great. So you can start with any vowel, harder, soft. Okay, interesting. Right. Grunts, moans, and audible size. And so it doesn't also, louder doesn't necessarily make it better if you're uncomfortable with the volume. You doesn't have to be loud. Yeah. But until you get more comfortable, you want it to feel natural. But we're all a little embarrassed to make sound. But sounding is the intensity control. So just grunt for crying out loud. Do an audible sigh. Make the sounds that you love hearing when you're lovers. Sounding because it feels so good. And by the way, don't wait for something to be worthy of a sound to make the sound. Most countries know if I start sounding earlier, the pleasure will come to me. I don't have to go chasing the pleasure. Interesting. I like Tantrica is that word I never heard that before. Yeah. Oh my God, these are the masters. Wait a second. So and can you apply this to your partner too? I mean, can't like men and like, I mean, you're, we're talking men here, right? But like, can't you do the same thing to your partner as well? Yes. I mean, I would, I would coach a woman the same thing. Not only can she do the same thing with her body. Yeah. But she can coach her lover. So helps when your partner's doing this with you. Exactly. So two things you got to do. You got to practice on your own through self-pleasuring. So you kind of get the lay of the land and then B, you want to ask your partner to partner with you so that they are in sync with you. When guys try to do this without ever telling their partner, it's like, man, but you're missing something when you do that, let her be a partner. You know, she'll slow down. In fact, there's something super sexy for a woman. I know some of the biggest fear for men and we kind of touched on it earlier is, you know, what if she's close to orgasm and now I'm going to fuck them and come before she does and I'm so afraid of that. And it's like, you know, this is moment of stillness creates anticipation. I will actually have a bigger orgasm if I'm about to orgasm, but I have to slow down. Totally. And then, and then I'm like staying at that peak state. It's so fun actually to kind of be left hanging there for a minute and then you get back to jiggy jigging and it's, it all amps up again. Yeah. I don't think most women would ever complain about it taking a little bit longer or, you know, spreading it out. We love foreplay and all that stuff that you're talking about, you know, it only adds to it. I mean, Susan Bratton taught me how to like breathe through orgasms and make them last longer and, you know, what to do. And it's like all the same stuff that you're talking about and it made my orgasms 10,000 times better. And it's the same for men. Same for men. Absolutely. So guys, like be expressive. When you're expressive in your pleasure one, it makes your pleasure more intense, but two, it helps validate your partner. We feel like, oh, okay, we're doing a good job. Good to know. And what about this orgasming without ejaculation? Because I feel like it's always, we all think that this happens at the same time all the time. And that's the only way that it happens, but that's not correct. Yeah. So your ejaculation and your orgasm are two physiologically separate things. They appear to go together. And most of the time they do, but they can be separated. Crazy. And it's so crazy. And it's also really wonderful. So when a man has a non-ejaculatory orgasm, when you go looking for it as you get more practice, a lot of men get this wrong because they think their non-ejaculatory orgasm is going to feel like an ejaculation. Oh, okay. But it doesn't. It's a different orgasm. It has a different sensation. Just like when a woman has a vaginal orgasm, it feels different from her clitoral orgasm. When a man has an anal orgasm without ejaculating, it feels different than his ejaculation. And when they all come together, let's say an anal orgasm and an ejaculation, or a vaginal orgasm and a clitoral orgasm, we call that a blended orgasm. You're having two types of orgasm at the same time. And by the way, these are all different nerve pathways that take orgasm up to the brain. So it's just a really fun trip. And you can just tell right now, this is not the information we're getting in school. This is not the information our buddies know. This is not the information that porn teaches to understand that we have these different pathways that carry different types of orgasms to the brain. And what that also means is that there's different erogenous sounds that need to be activated. So these different sensations can be explored. When a man has a non-exercitory orgasm, I think the best way to describe what it's like is again to go over the arousal scale. So on a scale from one to 10, one is I feel horny. 10 is I've ejaculated. Most men, the average guy, will go from a five, a six, or a seven, and then jump to 10. Yeah, right. Men with little or no control go from like a one and a half or a two and jump to 10. And then you have men who have a hard time ejaculating at all, and they're usually stuck out of four. And what this means is that almost everyone is missing eight and nine. And eight and nine is where all the profundity and the transcendence and the depth and the miraculous wild nature of pleasure is. But here's something else. Yes, there's a scale of one through 10, but there's also a one through 10 at every number. So we have a 3.3 and a 4.1 and a 5.9 and a 7.3. You know, it goes on and on. And so what this does is it expands wildly our pleasure potential. So the goal again is now, let me just get to eight and nine. The goal is who am I at at the sensation of a 5.2? And then how does pleasure ripple through me when I'm at a 5.9? How's a 5.2 different than a 5.9? Where do I feel it? Where can I amplify it so that sensation of a 5.9 turns into a five, a 6.3 at my fingertips or at the top of my head or at the back of my throat or in my third eye. So you start to see how this thing gets really, really expansive. So when a man starts to encounter eight and nine, realm sees never been to it all. I would liken it to like, I lived in Santa Cruz for 13 years. And so you'd go and you watch these surfers and you know, the really good ones, they would catch the wave, but then they would cut out of the wave before they got wiped out. So learning how to surf the waves of your orgasm is you hop on a ride and before you get wiped out, which would be 10, right? Going over the waterfall, 10 is I've ejaculated. You can ride, you can surf in 8.8 and a 9.3 and a 9.5 and have all this ecstasy. You get all this rush. You feel so freaking alive. You can't believe how alive you feel and you're coasting and then you cut out so that you can keep making love and you let things cool down, let's say back to a 4 or 5. So then you can catch the next wave. And each one of those waves is an orgasm. Right. And that's intentional, right? Like that's something you have to slow down, pay attention to, intentionally get out of that wave and then come back in, correct? Correct. Right. And when you can get so energetically sensitive and your partner's having multiple orgasms, every time she has a climax, you can absorb her climax so that her climax becomes your climax. And those are free. Those don't cost you anything and they rarely push you over the waterfall. You can just sit in the bliss of it and be in presence with it and let it wash over you. So what you do is you really learn to know the signals of your body. For instance, in order to be good at this, you have to really know the feeling I could come soon. Right. And when you have the feeling I could come soon, you do a technique that pulls you away from the edge of the waterfall. So you cool things down. You know, that might be a little pause. You might lose 5% of your erection. Once it's cooled down enough that you're away from the edge, then you build up the chi again and you start thrusting and doing all your moves and you build up the fire and you build up the fire and now you're at the feeling, whoa, whoa, whoa, I could come again. So let me cool it down. And then just notice every time you have the feeling I could come soon, imagine what number is that? Right. And then you'll notice that your capacity continues to expand and that that number of I could come soon keeps evolving. It keeps changing. You're able to sustain higher levels of arousal without anxiety and going over the waterfall because you are gaining more control and more choice and you're able to surf the waves for longer and it feels so satisfying. 8 and 9. Yeah. That realm is so freaking satisfying and fulfilling that you prefer it over 10. 10 is always fun, but 10 is a wipeout. Yeah, it's over. You're tired, right? It's over and you feel so alive at 8 and 9. Man, you want to, you're happy to reach 8 and 9 or 5 times and then end there because you feel so full and you're full of your, with yourself. You're filled with your essence and then you use that as fuel for the rest of your life. The rest of the stuff you got going that day and then you're so present and romantic with your partner in between love making because you haven't lost all that energy in the way of an ejaculation. Are these guys maybe having orgasms without ejaculation at different numbers and then 10 is when they ejaculate or they could just get to 10 without ever even ejaculating? It's pretty rare for men to get to 10 and not ejaculate. There will be these marvelous encounters where they're like, oh my god, I swear to God, I ejaculate it and then they look down and there's absolutely no ejaculation. But that's happening before 10 is what you're saying? That, or can happen. That is typically, I always signify 10 as an ejaculation. Yeah, right. As the ejaculatory orgasm. Yeah. So there's lots of orgasms to be had before 10, but 10 is your ejaculatory pop-off. Right, right. But you're here to say that you could enjoy 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8 and 9 before you get to 10 and then that's this whole body experience where you're having way more fun and maybe orgasms than you had before. Because a lot of people think men are not multi-orgasmic. I've had guys on who claim they are and have taught techniques. And a lot of times, I don't think guys really believe it because most of the time, one and done, maybe they could regroup 20 minutes later and do it again, but they can't be having multiples. But you're here to say they can. Yes, and I think the big mistake is why they think they can't is because they think that it's going to feel like an ejaculation. Exactly. We're looking at a different animal. This is a different type of reaching climax. And so you have to go, you have to get really curious to go, what else can I feel and where can I feel it and what does it feel like? I've had a lot of men describe it as it feels like a bottle of champagne with a bottle of Alka-Seltzer tabs mixed in. It's like a series of effervescent bubbles that run through my spine up to my head. It's not an ejaculation. It's like an ejaculation. Interesting. Where it feels more internal and it feels like it ripples up the spine and my brain feels fluffy and sparkly and kind of sparks off. But it's like this buzz. It's not like a peak and a valley. I go up, I go down. It's like pops of ecstasy that ripple up the body instead of out of the body as one way to sort of orient to it. Plus, a lot of men start to have non-exaclatory orgasms that feel really big with G-spot stimulation and prostate stimulation. So when you bring a little anal play into the mix, you're working with a whole other nerve plexus that carries orgasm to the brain. That's called the hypogastric nerve. And the hypogastric nerve is not actually hooked up with your penis. Your penis has three nerves that carry orgasm to the brain and that is the pedendal, the pelvic, and the vagus. So that non-exaclatory orgasm that can happen from anal play is another really wildly, um, as a wild sensation, again, that's different than the ejaculation. And when they two go together, it's like, oh my God, I've heard. Megados. Yeah, I've heard. It's really wild. Yeah. So those are the four pathways because I know that you had said that they're four nerve pathways, right? And so three are the ones you said. And then the fourth one is the one, uh, if they're open to some anal action, which I'm always like really promoting hardcore on my show. I don't understand why guys don't go to that part of the body. It's like the one part of the body. I have it too. So I know how many nerve engines are there and how pleasurable it is, you know. And I'm always like, I don't get why guys are doing experiments. And you know, tons of guys who have been on my show who have had prostate orgasms talk about it being like full body, like so crazy. And also when they're partners, their female partners experience them having one, they love it because they see them in a way that they, they, it's very different from a regular orgasm. For a, for a thousand percent. It's really profound. It's, it's on a whole nother level and, and how beautiful that we have a whole nother pleasure pathway. And I get it. It's hard one, right? We've got lots of anxiety about that part of our body. We don't want to be embarrassed. We're not sure how we smell. Like there's all sorts of issues that come with it. But that's why the power of those orgasms are so hard one because they're more vulnerable. You are being penetrated. And I feel like men who are willing to explore that end up being better lovers to women because now they kind of know the vulnerability and the stakes when, because they know what it's like to be penetrated. So they start to understand women and our experience of being penetrated. So there's like this extra nuance of sensitivity that I feel like makes them an even more masterful lover when they're penetrating a partner, when they know what it takes and what it feels like to be penetrated themselves and the vulnerability that's at stakes there. Yeah, totally. And I've heard it the opposite way too when the girl has pegged the guy because he's open to that. Yes. Amazing. Yeah, absolutely. Yeah. Now one thing that is interesting about one of the nerve plexuses is the vagus nerve. And the vagus nerve is the nerve. It's the only orgasmic nerve pathway that runs up the front of the body instead of the spine, which is why when you make sound, you're activating the vagus nerve because the vagus nerve travels up the front of the body into the heart, then into the throat and from the throat, it goes into the brain. So when you make sound, it is you are activating that nerve pathway, which is why it's so important that people get on board with sounding because it will intensify all of it. There's a nerve that makes that possible, makes it true. So breath, sound and touch is connected to the nerve pathways. That's why you're throwing those in to activate them. Why did I think the vagus nerve was in the back? I don't know why in the spine, but it's not. Well, it's not. And that's why people who are paraplegics can still have orgasms because even though their spine got damaged, the nerve that's in the front of their body did not. The vagus nerve. The vagus nerve still enables them to have climaxes even though they can't feel their legs. How do you tell if, say you have a male client coming to you who's like, all my listeners that are listening right now, they're like, Oh my God, I want to do this and I want to get it. Like how do you teach them to or like what do you tell them to say or how to bring it up to their female partners? I have a lot of couples that listen to the show too. So they're right there listening at the same time. But for the guy that wants to go to his wife or his partner and say, Hey, because it really, you should sort of, I think, bring it up to your partner and say, let's do this together. Right. Because you can't be doing all these things without your partner knowing. I don't think. Well, I mean, I think it's, it's the best way to have the best experience is to say, babe, this I'm so interested in this. I'm so curious in this. I really want us to have an adventure with this. What do you think? What are you willing to explore? Would you, would you do this with me? I want to be even closer to you. And you know, let's, let's try some stuff. Yeah. And I do believe that all the things that you're talking about, because like, listen, I had this really weird boyfriend who was very commitment phobic and he would, we called him the halfway in guy because he'd put his dick in halfway and he'd be like, I can't, I won't move. Like I can't move if I do, if I move, like then we had sex and blah, blah, blah. Like it was like this whole weird thing, but the halfway in was like, halfway in game was like so fucking hot for me because like if he coughed or we moved even the slightest bit, like the movement was so fucking intense and people would be like, why do you play the halfway in game? I'm like, I started playing it with other guys after him because I'm like, yeah, it was like the hottest thing I would turn all the guys in because there's something about like, because a little typically when you're fucking someone, you're just like harder, faster, you need it more because you get so desensitized, right? To what's ever happening. So where if, if you just like put it in there with nothing and then you move even the slightest bit, it becomes the biggest feeling you've ever had imaginable. You know, and I was always into every kind of tease and denial and dragging shit out because it's just like there's so much fun in it. And you know, it sounds a lot like a lot of tease and denial that you're talking about. I always liked that. I loved dry humping. I loved denying myself. I loved, you know, making orgasms last longer because it was, it just feels better, you know? And I feel like this is what this is all about, but this could be learned and it's more fun. I mean, it's like, it's such a great practice to bring into a partnership. I feel like, because a lot of times people have been together for a really long time and this brings you back to those days in the beginning when you're like really like having sex for a long time, right? And trying new things because a lot of times that goes out the window after you've been with someone for a while. Here we get stuck in the routine and we just do the thing that we know it'll get the job done. Exactly. But then we're not really in ecstasy with each other. I love the like, okay, let's get close, close, close and then let's go away and let's get close, close, close. Yeah, I think so. I love that bit of denial. And then it gives the actual release a lot more punch. Yeah. It's so much juicier. Yeah. It's fun to play the game. Yeah. And now you do have courses and some of, I mean, people could, there's different ways for people to learn from you, right? Like they could even meet with you. They could meet with you and hire you, right? As, as their coach, you also have courses that they could take one. You give out all your information so people could find out even more from you. Sure. So one way to just learn for free is to check out the Sex for Imagine podcast that I host with my business wife, Dr. Willow Brown. And we interview all sorts of sex birds across the industry to provide you with a lot of great free education. And then I also have on-demand courses so that you can learn a lot about these techniques and practice them in the privacy of your own home. So if you and your partner are a little bit shy and a little bit nervous about being in a group environment like a workshop or working one-on-one with someone, it's a great place to start. And then when you start to realize, well, I really need to take this a bit deeper, I do coaching over Zoom, but I also meet with people in person in my VIP retreats, either individuals or couples. And then we deep dive on all of these things together. And I just meet you where you're at. And we just take the next steps to take you further along the journey. And then for those of you who love a group environment, I've got workshops and live events where you can come and get a lot of skill and do a big immersion and get a lot of techniques in a short amount of time. And we always keep our group safe and we meet people again where they're at. So it's not like I'm going to throw you into a classroom and then tell you to take all your clothes off and practice with someone right there. Oh my gosh. There's lots of options. Most of the practices, you learn about them in class and then for homework that night, you go practice them and then you come back the next day and we process it. And where do they find out that information on where you do these in person workshops and stuff like that as well? Yeah. So go to moreloveworks.com or you can also go to sexreimagined.com. And I also have a free gift for those of you who are interested. If they go to More Love Works, there is a free tutorial on how to never miss another clitoral orgasm again. Nice. So for those of you struggling with the elusive clitoral orgasm, it's a great way to learn the tricks. And then if you go to sexreimagined.com, we've got a free gift on how to become a tantric kisser. And you want to believe the really cool things about kissing that no one's taught you about. Now, is there a specific course like that that they like say a guy was listening and wants really to get even more information and get everything that we talked about here about having like, you know, sort of being tantric when it comes to your male orgasms? Is there a specific course online that you could give the name for that they could go on your website? There's two. One is called Last 10 Times Longer. And that's where I teach you all of the various control techniques, including the breathing techniques to delay ejaculation. And then I've got another course called The Power of the Prostate and G-Spot Massage for Men. And that is how to exquisitely open up that part of the erogenous body so that you can have tremendous pleasure and how to link that up with your cock and how to use it also for healing. Quick question. Like, so, you know, because you hear back, I'm sure, from people who take your courses and stuff. If some guy is like taking this and they're following it to the T, like, how long will it take him to kind of master it, do you say, or start seeing results even? I think he'll start seeing results within a month. But I think to really have full mastery, you better plan on six months to a year. That's okay. That's realistic. I like that kind of formation. I think it's fair. Yeah. I mean, you have to put yourself in enough high stakes experiences. So you keep on testing the depth of your control. And obviously having sex with a partner who you're really attracted to is going to be that ultimate test of being able to control your ejaculation. And so your self-pleasuring practice really has to be on point. And so you keep on increasing your skill level and it won't take, I mean, it's a really fun discipline. I was going to say, I mean, God, it's not running America. You know, it's not stopping sugar. It's playing into pleasure. Yeah. It's like six months to a year of having to like jerk off or be with your partner and have more sex. I mean, it's not really like you're asking them to do something they don't love to do anyway. You know, it's just sort of... It's not a hardship. Yeah. It's just sort of paying more attention. And if they start seeing like some results at least in the beginning, you know, like a month or two, I'm sure that helps then move on. And that makes it so much more exciting to push through for the next six months, a year to master, right? Because they'll start to probably see results, I would assume, over time. For sure. Totally. Yeah. The hardest part is that the 10, right, that ejaculatory orgasm, it's so tantalizing. Yeah. Right? Yeah. It's like a carrot in front of the donkey. So the hardest part is just, you know, resisting the urge that is your biology because we're hardwired to chase the pop, you know? And so to chase the carrot. So you kind of have to deprogram that part so that you are discovering something else as equally interesting. If not better, way better. If not better. Yeah, totally. A thousand. Yeah, I mean, never have I met a man. Yeah, come on. Who learned this stuff, who goes, I think I'll go back to the way it was. Exactly. No way. It transforms sex forever. Yeah, yeah, for sure. I love it. Listen, thank you so much for coming on the show. I will put some of the links that you want me to put in the description. I'm assuming like your website is good. Does it have a link to your podcast as well? So people could check that out because you have tons of experts on your show all the time. People love that kind of stuff. And then I'll put the link to your website so people could go take some courses. Great. Wonderful. Thank you so much for having me. Thanks, Leah. Thanks so much for calling in. Thanks, Kathy. Take care. The world moves fast. You work day, even faster. Pitching products, drafting reports, analyzing data. Microsoft 365 Co-Pilot is your AI assistant for work. Built into Word, Excel, PowerPoint, and other Microsoft 365 apps you use. Helping you quickly write, analyze, create, and summarize. So you can cut through clutter and clear a path to your best work. Learn more at microsoft.com slash m365 Co-Pilot. What a scream. We installed telephone wires across rural Britain over a century ago. And you're still paying to use them for your broadband today. If it ain't broke, what? Stop. Your days of selling phone age broadband are over. Blast off, spill the beans. Upgrade to 100% full fiber. Gigaclear, faster broadband for rural Britain from only 19 pounds a month. Price may rise during contract. T's and C's apply. Check availability at gigaclear.com. Okay, I just want to tell you before you go that my book, it's called Strictly Anonymous Confession, Secret Sex Lives of Total Strangers, is now available not only in paperback and ebook, but you can pre-order the audiobook. It's still not going to be out till August 25th, but you can pre-order it. The book is basically 17 different stories taken from my show. I kind of picked one story from each category that I talk about on my show. Like there's a hot wife story. There's a cuck queen story. There's a cuck story. There's a gang being girl story. Like I said, 17 stories. And they're all told in the third person. And they're all true. I took the interview and rewrote it in the third person. And I wouldn't really call it like a total erotica book. Think like penthouse letters. It's more direct. It's not so over the top like erotica. I don't really like that kind of vibe, right? But these are true stories. 17 of them, they're really short chapters. Easy read. You could read, you know, one or two and then skip around. You could read the whole book. It's available in eback format. Paperback format. And finally, the audiobook is available coming out August 25th. But you could pre-order it now. And if you buy my book in any format or pre-order it, I will throw in a complimentary link to my discord. My discord does not disappoint. Okay. There's no way you'd get into my discord any other way than getting the link from me. Okay. I give it to people who buy my book. There's tons of people in there. Everybody shares content with each other. And that's what you get to do there. You could post your own pictures and videos. There's tons of channels. We have lots of contests where you could win a lot of money. It's a super fun place to be. It's a total strictly anonymous community. And you will love it. I will be giving anyone who buys my book access to my discord. It's private. Like I said, all you got to do is email me a screenshot of your purchase, whether you did the audiobook, the ebook, or the paperback. Send it to me at strictlyanonymouspodcast at gmail.com. That's strictlyanonymouspodcastatgmail.com. And I will send you the link to discord. So anyway, thanks so much for tuning in. This is the Strictly Anonymous Podcast. Strictly Anonymous Podcast.