Women can't refrain from begging you. They can't help themselves. They have to eat the fruit. They see the apple. They need to eat the apple. If they were allowed to eat the apple, they wouldn't eat the apple. So you got to be the forbidden apple. No, I'm not really looking for anything right now. Do that drives them insane. I'm in fifth grade. I got a lot of stuff going on. It's a tale as old as time. You're 10 years old. It's called gaslighting. Now, what you want to do. All right. Can you get your hands on cigarettes? welcome back to a bonus episode of your favorite show your favorite podcast your favorite brothers new heights that is a wonder show and we are your host i am one brother i'm travis this is my other brother jason or i am the other brother to him because he's the first brother Subscribe on YouTube, 100+, or wherever you get your podcasts, and follow the social media tag at New Heights Show with one S on all social media. Jason, should I do that again, or should we get right into what we have coming up? I thought it sounded great, Trav. On today's bonus episode, we're going to be checking the Heights Hotline to answer your off-season questions, off-off-season questions. Let's get into it. All right, what do we want to go to first? Delete one modern convenience. Sure, let's go with that one. Yeah, that sounds fun. Okay, if you had to delete one modern convenience forever, GPS, streaming, or online ordering, what are you sacrificing? Oh, those three? GPS, streaming, or online ordering? Yeah. What are we constituting as streaming? Yeah. Is that anything on the internet that you're like, what, like is YouTube streaming? Because if we do cut that out, then I don't have a living. So streaming, online ordering. I don't want to cut that out. I mean, listen, I can do it. I can go back to calling in orders on the phone. I got no problem with that. Yeah, I don't. I think I'll go online ordering. Actually, I want to cut out online ordering. I want to go back to calling phones and these places picking up the goddamn phone. Now you call a phone number and the places don't even pick up. Yeah, dude, that's so annoying. I used to like calling and talking to the woman and be like, hey, how you doing? What's your favorite thing on the day? How do you know it's a woman? huh i'm just so i just made a scenario yeah this is hypothetical um no i'm with you man i'm with you i think i think there is a lost art in the food like world and there's like a it just doesn't feel like when you go places that there's i don't know as much hospitality maybe i don't know i may just be a grown-up and see things more clear now but um i'm with you i'm with you i I fucking love calling in order. I think doing the whole app thing, you know, if I don't want fucking onions in something, I don't, and it doesn't have it on the app. Now I got to call in and I'm like, can I get no onions? Don't get me wrong. I use the apps, but I kind of like the concept of picking up the phone and calling the pizza joint and, you know, but yeah. See what kind of deals you got. I don't know. I don't want to read what kind of deals you got. I want to be surprised when you tell me and hear how you deliver the coupon, you know? Of those three, I think it's a no-brainer. Online ordering. Online ordering. Definitely not giving up GPS. You wouldn't survive. That would not go well for me. Just follow the North Star, Jason. Just look up at the stars. Hey, so there's this girl I really like. Is that a child? Yeah, I know. It sounded like a kid. How should I ask her out Well yeah How you like a girl and you want to ask her out I think first you got to figure out what do you like about her Yeah Like what do you like about her You like the way she looks She likes the way she dresses? You like how funny she is? You like how kind she is? And then maybe compliment that. And that will get you in the door, or at least you gauge how she reacts to that. And then that gives you a better understanding of whether or not she would be willing to go out with you. But that's always a good conversation starter to let someone know that you like them. All right. I'm going to give you the old Ed Kelsey tip. You find her unattractive friend and you befriend her and you start making her feel like she's interesting. It's so bogus, kid. Do not listen to that advice. That is the 1950s way of dating. Oh, my gosh. Well, here's what you do. You ask her out. Yeah. There's no other way around it other than you just got to do it, man. You just got to own it. You got to. I would say like you can do. Got to have some cojones. Yeah. I mean, you can do the whole like. What's the word she's going to say? No. Well, that's the thing. And then tell everyone that you asked her out and she said no. And then they're going to laugh in your face at your locker. Okay. And then you're even. You're back even after that. Yeah, I would say just ask her out, man. Knowing what I know now. And listen, when I was younger, I didn't know how to talk to women. I still don't really know how to talk to women. I'm a fucking Neanderthal. My wife, Kylie, reminds me every single day. But I think you just ask her out. And then you go on a date and then you go from there. I wouldn't worry too much about it, bud. Just have something planned. Because you got to have something in the back pocket. So, like I said, maybe have a conversation starter and then have a nice segue into maybe hanging out at the movies or at the mall, wherever your destination is. Got to have a destination of where you want to take her. That's enticing. And then, yeah, go from there, bud. I wouldn't overthink it. I think you start trying to force the conversation. Oh, no, no, no. Yeah, don't do all that. They said to go here and say this and whatever. Just try and, like, talk to her. like a normal person. Be authentic. Take her on in a date. Be chivalrous. Open the door. Be courteous. Make some jokes at other people's expenses where it's just between you two. Hey, look at this idiot over here. Not to bring people together like that. No, seriously, think of something that you want to do. Ask her out to see if she wants to go with you and then just, you know, see what happens. I think that's the best advice I can give you. And then you just, you know, like Trav said, The worst that she can say is no, and then she says no, and then it's like, whatever. You move on to the next. You keep it moving. There's nothing to be embarrassing about. Tons of them. There are plenty of whales in the sea. It's fish. There's tons of plankton in the ocean. I don't know what the hell it's making. There's tons of whales. Yeah, whales probably wasn't the best one. yeah you listen you're if you're asking advice from us you better figure it out on your own there's no trick let me put it this way there's no trick there is just go and i mean you can read the cosmopolitan magazines and like all these things and it's all a bunch of nonsense just fucking if you like the girl you say hey i was thinking about going seeing this movie would you like to go see it with me and then see what happens she says i want to go hey i going to the mall Do you want to go to the mall with me Like don overthink it No you just go have fun Just go be yourself Here kid start a podcast with your brother Go on the podcast. There you go. Don't try and make her like you because then she's going to hate you. This was my crucial flaw with talking to females. I was like, okay, how do I impress them? Or how would I, like, I would think that I need to talk any differently. And then it's just like. Who you are is good enough. but you're going down a rabbit hole. That is just unattainable. No, you're doing too much. That's what Jason is. Don't overthink it. Don't do too much. Just be you, man. Yeah. Just be you. Who you are is good enough for the right person. All right. For the child who called in, please take that advice and call us back. I want to know how this goes. We're on the journey with you now, brother. This is Joe dirt. Call us back. Call us back. I want to know how it goes for you, young man. Do you know how many times I was told? No, so it's going to be fine. Not that she's going to say no, not that she's going to say no. Then you go right to her friend and you make her jealous. Yes. Now you have the upper hand. Don't listen to any of this shit. I don't, please don't listen to anything I'm saying. Talking to her friend. Make it seem like you're interested. Laughing jokes. Like your friend's pretty cute. She's way cuter than you. Make sure she sees you. You pit two women against each other. Then you're the hot commodity. Then you're the hot commodity. You have to be. It's supply and demand, my friend. Yes. It's economics. Please ignore all of this. You're the forbidden fruit. The tipping point is what Malcolm Gladwell calls this. Listen, have you ever seen the Garden of Eden? Women can't refrain from begging you. They can't help themselves. They have to eat the fruit. They see the apple. They need to eat the apple. But if they were allowed to eat the apple, they wouldn't eat the apple. So you got to be the forbidden apple. You got to go get that friend. No, I'm not really looking for anything right now. Do that drives them insane. Not looking to settle down. I'm in fifth grade. I got a lot of stuff going on. It's a tale as old as time, literally. Sorry, me and my friends are going to hang out over here. You're not invited. Boom, you're in. Boom. Trick them. You're 10 years old. It's called gaslighting. Now, what you want to do. Well, what are your strengths? We need to know more about you. Yeah, we don't know. We don't actually, we might be on her side. Maybe she shouldn't date you. Yeah. You're calling into a fucking podcast for advice. I don't know if I like the sound of this. No, we don't want to shame anyone calling into this podcast. No, no, no. Keep calling it. Keep calling it. Keep calling it. Keep calling it. You got to have something that she desires in a man. What are you good at? If you're not good at anything, you got to get good at something first. You got to get good at something. If you're coming with nothing, you're going to get bad. You're not forbidden. You're not forbidden fruit anymore. Are you a class clown? Are you an athlete? What are we doing? If you're athletic, show it off. If you're not athletic, be the smartest person in the class. If you're not smart, be a class clown. Smart doesn't play. Smart plays. You're crazy. Smart definitely plays. Smart doesn't. Smart plays. I've seen the smart guy. That's all right. I've seen the smart guy get the girl before. I've never been able to play that. She was going to say, it never really went down. I've never been one of my cards. No, I've seen it work, though. I've seen it work. Yeah, pretty good score on this algebra test. There's a fucking D on it, yeah. Women like men that are unpredictable, okay? You want to try jumping into a trash can with scuba gear. That's right. That's right. That's right. Pull a fire alarm. Go up to Mr. Johnson and kick him square in the ball. Tell him to fuck off. Women love a badass. We need you to be a bad boy. Can you be the bad boy of the class? You want to go up to the front of the class and say, I'm fucking teaching this class. This I'm teaching the class today. Show up with a leather jacket, turn that chair around and sit down and be like, no, this is my algebra class. Now here's what you're going to do. You're going to turn on Nickelodeon around 11 o'clock. You're going to see a show called happy days. And you see this guy called Fonzarelli. Just do everything. Just do everything Just do everything The Fonz does it works out great does your school have a jukebox you can hit you haven't caught on by now all of us are old does your dad have a leather jacket you can borrow all right can you get your hands on cigarettes okay it's called it's called chris stapleton's traveler whiskey you're going to get yourself a bottle listen just come in with a fucking ounce of weed if you come in with an ounce of weed to school you'll be the coolest kid in school coolest kid out of school somebody's gonna yell at me how much less we have to cut out but that's fine these are always the best ones i'm not gonna lie it started off kind of whack and this shit got so funny oh we're good now okay javis is fine with this one now all right we're good we can do one more. Hi, Jason. Hi, Travis. I was just wondering, do you think it's acceptable for men to sit down and pee, or does that automatically revoke their man card? Just asking for a friend. Thanks. Bye. Well, as long as they still have some balls, I think they still get the man card. I don't know if there's a disqualification for anything out there. Unless they want to be. I don't really know how that works, but either way. Whatever their preferences. Absolutely not. Why would have removed their man card? No. What? man can't sit down and pee. Sometimes you're tired. Sometimes you just want to sit on the toilet. Yeah. Sometimes it's a false alarm. You don't have to take a shit. Now you're just pissing. There you go. Sometimes it's the middle of the night and I don't want to have to turn on the lights. Yeah. In other words, when you get up in the middle of the night, you don't want to turn the lights on because you don't want to fully wake up and you just hear piss hitting the floor and you're like, God damn it. I've never experienced that. You've never experienced that? No. Man, I've definitely. the floor you missed the seat the all and everything i mean i'm saying it's not saying it's frequent but it's happened yeah no i get it i get it ain't nothing wrong with it it's a toilet it has a seat on it there's nothing unmanly about taking a taking a old sit i've got a bad back maybe i want to keep fucking i want to scroll and see if something hits so something hits me while i'm scrolling listen i got four kids you know how many sit down peas i take i'm enjoy this pee no no wonder dad took so many shits when we were kids man dad would read the entire tom clancy magazine i don't withhold from man cards from people that sit down not i'm not big on revoking man cards, period. But yeah, Mark. Same, especially if you're a man. All right, that wraps up another edition of Heights Hotline. We'll have some more bonus content for you all in March. So stay tuned to what it might be. That's right. Once again, New Heights, a wondery show. Followed on all social media. Follow the show on all social media. And thank you to our production and crew again for getting us some much needed bonus content and a very fun bonus episode. This was hilarious. To the young gentleman seeking advice to dating a woman, please call back it. We want to know how this goes. Make sure you put tons of Axe body spray on. Tons. It always works. Load it up. Every time. Load it up. Go under the shirt, too. Go under the shirt, too. Mentos Freshmaker. Just in case. To the 92%ers, thanks for tuning in. We'll see you guys next time. Bye.
