#657 - Bobby Lee

Today's guest is a stand-up comedian a podcaster and One of the heroes of my heart is beautiful little leechy You know, he's my good friend and I'm so thankful to spend time with him today's guest is mr. Bobby Lee Oh No, leave that on this shit's tough dude. Yeah, how heavy it is. Okay, sorry. Yeah, heavy Dude, you look at Daniel Day Lewis a little bit Do you look like Edras Alba to me dude, you think so yeah, bring up Edras Alba Yeah, you know what Edras looks like dog just in the dick you mean, huh? No, your dick is medium fair Sav no, I got that limited cock Yeah, dude one and a half bars, bro. That's it on this one. I'm a minion dude. Yeah, you got that me Yeah, I got minion dick. Oh, I like that honey as fuck bro. Hey hard work Hard worker They do yeah, it's a they're very hard worker. They have overalls goggles Yeah, bro, if your wieners going in with goggles, it's got the whole thing. You're a champ. You're a chink chink Hey, I can't say that but here's a rule you could say it. I could say it. That's my rule here. Well, I can see what Good to see you man, let me get let me just get in my zone guy. Okay. Yeah, you want to pray first week I'm happy to pray if you want can I start? Yeah, you want to pray? Yeah, do we have to hold hands? No, but I think if you can put our hands however you want it will get warmer in here. I know it's cold Yeah, it's really cold. I feel like an Eskimo right now. No, they're charging us more for heat I think Israel's doing it. Israel's definitely doing a lot of They're like Right, you're not saying you're not saying you're not saying yeah, um, yeah, let's do a prayer man You want to lead a sin in me? Yeah, um, but you know when I do prayers dog Look at me first before we game and get into it. Yeah, for sure, man. I don't like getting interrupted Okay, so I like to finish what my prayer is gonna be you know, I mean and it may go long Okay. Yeah, no dude. I'm just happy to be here with you. They matter. I love you. You're gonna give you a hug first Oh That's the truth bro when the streets call me brah when the streets call you they call me Yeah, man, we have the same color Dear heavenly father hold on. What do you need? What are you doing? Oh Sorry Bear dick Do bear dick and give it to him really? Oh Love your type bear dick. What do you mean? He loves it? Yeah, yeah, he loves the chunk faster factor. You know what I mean? Cuz if I was gay guy You know, I mean, you know I've done some stuff like what do you tell like what do you mean, man? I've licked a couple. No, yeah, just like a Just what I want to know the flavor. Oh, yeah, yeah, what happened? What do you mean what happened? Or like, you know, what's the flavor or yeah, I don't want to know. Yeah, I'm salty. Oh, well, what do you mean? What part do you like the top or the bottom? Licking the bottom? That's good. I live looking the top those in gang. It's just taste. I mean, I don't know. It's omokasa You ever go to omokasa restaurant. You don't know what you're gonna get dude. That's what I'm doing doing Omokasa, right? And sometimes it dude, it's like I go to omokasa with my girl Mm-hmm, right and there's certain things she just I go you have to eat it You know means like what we went to you know, I've been in the jungle What have you been? I did not know that yeah, I've been the job. I mean, I know historically look at my face Yeah, yeah, what do you what do you mean historically? What do you mean historically I just mean like over yeah, I'm not nom. I know yeah, yeah, yeah I know yeah, there's no jungles in Korea dog. I Don't know when you say history you do now. I'm saying it's story You've been watching platoon you've been watching you know I mean all kinds of movies like hamburger hill letters. Evo Gima Yeah, well just her jungle It's a good it is a good movie. Let's give Clint Eastwood a round of applause. Did he make that I Think so dude. I think he made it. I didn't even know that he made it when he was 116 years old Amazing God what amazing world so anyway, I've been in the jungle and when I say jungle I mean Waikiki. Oh, you were out there. I Didn't go in it, but I saw it Bro, what were you doing out there dude? I was doing all kinds of shit. We do an I wasker something No, no, I go out there vacation and so you know, you know, there's a lot of cool Omicoste restaurants there, okay, and what is Omicoste for people that don't know it? Do you know it? I think so well then tell me about it. I I think Tell me cuz I don't think you fucking know dog Omicoste will almost sound it out Yeah, oh mom. Oh, which is all my in Korean is mom mom. Yeah, and Casa is yeah house Oh, it is house. Okay. Yeah. Yeah. No, I don't know what I don't know what Omicoste stands for but I know what it is Okay, Omicoste. Okay, so do you know what it is? I do not okay. So on Omicoste restaurant is It's a it's a set menu. Yeah, right and they feed you in order They'll tell you what you're gonna get from beginning to end and generally my rule if I'm with a date You know, I have a girlfriend now What yeah, dude, whoa What's happening dudes, you're not so what are you gonna do you're not gonna do what I did it You know what's what am I doing right now? Why are you doing if you have a girlfriend? No, I'm killing myself. Oh, yeah Yeah, that's Omicoste. Yeah, yeah, I can't I choke myself and I kill myself in the heart dog. Okay jerking off guy. Oh good Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah long as you jerking off You got to do it 21 times a month though. That's what I heard masturbate ejaculate. No. Yeah, because you'll get um Testicular cancer. No. Oh, yeah, there's guys that like some people their eyes go bad or whatever like mine. Huh? Hello No, anyway, um, oh my god. See is this you have a set you look like a bug that played for the red hot chili peppers right now You look good. Yeah, I looked real good. So Omicoste is like Set menu so we went to one place you look like a fireman like in San Francisco Kind of like a little bit. Yeah, I do but I was over I was in the fire Yeah, right or you just had something I got lost and I'm like in the fire like I don't know what to do that type Yeah, yeah, yeah, and you brought just a mouthful of water. Yeah, that's the gayest thing dude If you if you're at a fire and a guy kind of a gay firefighter Yeah, he's like he's just spitting water out of his mouth or whatever you look like an albino raccoon. Oh, yeah Anyway, um, let me finish with the Omicosa thing and get to my point dog. Sorry dude. I'm interrupting you. Yeah I do want to pray anyway. Oh, we'll do the prayer later Doug Mai is officially mayor of Chinatown Chinatown. Let's go. Can I finish my Omicosa or yeah, that's fair. Do this. What do we do? Oh, we're just bringing up But we're going into a thing and then you bring up some Chinese a firefighter. He brought that shit up Yeah, so the Bear Dick did that You're not Bear Dick. That's Bear Dick. Oh, yeah. Yeah, what are you? premium Nick Nick was a premature baby in the capari's gone. Oh, yeah, did everything get mature? I Think my skull size is a little small, but yeah, anyway, I know he's 32 years old, but he'll never hit nine months, you know So that's it. And we had this we forget bro. Let's we forget dude Oh, we're at so we're at this restaurant and and they gave us the bones of a fish And they flavored it like it was a potato chip But it had the brain like the eyes and the brain but just the bones of the fish No, and you had to eat it, right? And it's like I ate it and I looked at her I go You just got to eat it, right? So when a penis comes out, you kiss the tip. Oh, yeah, that's basically why I yeah What you know, that's why I would that's well That's what I told you before that when I said that I've kissed the tip of a penis. You know what I mean? What do you mean? Well, why do you keep doing that? It just makes it back in my neck. I know but it's a flavor thing Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, I was that's how we got to the Omicosa thing. It's a flavor thing Yeah, well you if you went to Omicosa, whatever they gave you you'd eat it right try it. Okay. Yeah, yeah It's a kind of penis. We kiss it. It's like a glory hole for food or whatever Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah a glory hole for food. Well, it's like whatever's in there That's what you get or that's what you get. Yeah, so no matter what they give you You just I just eat because it's supposed to be like, you know, I mean elegant or you know, I mean avant-garde Yeah, I'm guard. It's a Epstein class. Yeah You know what I mean? Yeah, baby Yeah, yeah, it's like off the Epstein tasting menu or whatever. It's just like young fish or whatever Please stop. Sorry. Let's move on. Let's move on. We'll take that out. Yeah Yeah, let me take that out But so basically I don't know how I got in the pee-pee thing, but let's do a prayer Okay, no, but you said you had tasted a little wiener or something or you had a little years ago I tasted the tip one was it on a What type of person was it on? color Yeah, yeah or style color Can we go style? Yes, I'll rave. Oh, I'd a rave. No a rave her a rave. Yeah. Yeah, so you just took a nip off a little rave Yeah, you know what you're saying which you what you do. Yeah cultural. Oh, yeah Glowsticks. Yeah, you'd have glowsticks, right? Oh, and then you would Right and yeah, and then you're Every once in a while they just come out right and you take a little taste of the salty tip. Yeah, dude That's it. Yeah, it's cultural. So basically you've been a couple major laser shows is what you're saying That's exactly exactly exactly what I'm saying. Just say that. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. You never kiss the tip. Oh, no, man Yeah, how about you have I have you had opportunities to I mean I've definitely I remember when I was a child You always try to get a real close gander at your own wiener You know, I don't know Southern language Do you know I'm just saying I'm it to me like I'm sure if you're a kid a lot of young we can't talk about children But yeah, yeah, a lot of people that haven't grown up fully We'll try to like I've never tried it we'll try to just get I never tried it I Have I never got I never I had been raised with yoga Right and I could bend that way. You know, I mean like I had like you know, I mean a master Yeah, as a kid, you know, I mean Bobbi son, you know, we have to strengthen your your spine Yeah, and you go why a master, right? So one day you can kiss your own tip. Oh, right? Like I never had that master. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Fuck karate. Yeah. Yeah, fuck Right, right. He's just kicking like invisible people. I know it doesn't work. Yeah, also in the UFC You never say he's a karate guy, right? Right. It's always jiu-jitsu, right? Yeah, or boxing or kickboxing, right? It's never like it's never Tai Chi. Yeah, no one's out there at UFC doing Tai Chi, right? Am I right? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So it's like, you know, um, yeah It's never one of his credits is like his mom wanted him to be able to defend himself, you know Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, rarely you see take one dough and you up UFC, right? It's usually boxers kickboxers Jiu-jitsu guys wrestlers. What is some of the stuff Nick knows actually? So let's go to Nick on that. Yeah Yeah, I mean he named all the big ones. There's a few select karate guys, Steven Wonder Boy Thompson MVP Yeah, but jiu-jitsu and Taekwondo I think are the big biggest from traditional martial arts from traditional but generally it's wrestling Kickboxing boxing, right? 100% I think. Like, Holloway is like one of the best strikers with his hands in the biz You know what I mean? So it's you didn't even know who he is. I do his max. Holloway He's actually he was right. He lives and trains where you were just were right now and why kicky and I smelled his essence around me Did you see him? No, I called him to see if you wanted, you know, I mean, but he was going through something. Yeah You know as fighters do Dear heavenly father, okay, you want to pray? Let's do it. Well, that's I just started. Okay. Sorry Dear, I'm father lord and savior father of all. Thank you so much Of the gratitude of the fish fish in the sea amen and the deep fish like the greenland shark who lives 500 years 500 years ago Does he really sorry going no, see that that's what I'm talking about. I forgot What do you mean? Look at me right now, dude No, just look at me right now. Do you know my turn the prayer? Yeah, because the prayer stopped because you interrupted. All right, what? Don't do that. All right Greenland shark, all right. Thank you for the trees nature Thank you so much for The war What war do you mean son the war within my heart? You know the war that I want to start with theo Because I did one line in his movie and he put me on the fucking phone poster At that's my prayer, dude. Sorry come on. Yeah. Yeah. I mean as if I was in the movie He put me straight up in the middle of a movie poster Dear lord when I had one Fucking life. Sorry for throwing lord, but I'm very angry. I have a war in my heart. It's yeah You know one line and no, I'm not done, right? I also had a patch over my face So most people even know who was fucking me You know lord, please give me the forgiveness You know what I mean and the solitude and the confinement and the love for theo Amen. Amen. Yeah Oh, thank you god bus boys go watch it in your local theater and video and stream and streaming and streaming You know what I mean, bro? You were first of all. No. No first of all what? First of all what? First of all, no first of all what because let me tell you something buddo I'm gonna take my glasses off, dude. Okay. Let me tell you something buddo. Take my hat off I'll take my fucking beanie off. You will. Yeah, right. All right. I'm gonna put another hat. Yeah, I want to put this hat on all right Why is this hat over there? I don't know This one's over here. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I didn't pick that one. Let me tell you something buddo. All right. Okay I'm not afraid of you We're friends. Yeah, we're friends. Yeah, we're deep. Yeah, I mean we were in the war Okay. Yes, we were. Yeah, we was right. This hat gives me like Gone gone with the wind vibes. These have to give me gong with the wind vibe Okay, or gone with the nians. Yeah Yeah, yeah, you spell that word in you n g u y n. No, what is it? Spell it out n g u y ns N g u y e n the most common Vietnamese last name is her name. Yeah, yeah, niggwin. Yeah. Oh, it's how they say niggwin Okay, well, but also a lot of people look that up a lot of black people if they're asking like like like If something's gonna happen, they'll say that What do you mean? What do you mean that niggwin? Yeah, like what's up niggwin? No Oh, you'll be like, dude, are we going on or not? And you'll be like, yeah niggwin Oh, I see. Don't you think or yeah, I I've never heard that You know what was that party line? You mean that was niggwin like a motherfucker. No, that's not it I don't know how to use it. That's racial. I'm saying No, that wasn't racial. This hat seems racial. I think yeah. Yeah. This hat fee seems very racial Dude, Bobby We'll put him back on in a minute. I'm gonna go back. Let's go back to our regular I'll put these on yeah, yeah, I'm gonna put my glasses on let's get ready regular. So, um, it was just a joke I'm grateful that you used me in the movie Yeah, for sure, dude, uh, I wish you weren't available for more days for one. That's insane. We were shooting something That's pure insanity. I have nothing going on. It's your schedule. This was 18 months ago. Yeah, it was 18 months ago. Yeah So anyway, um, I'm glad I wasn't um involved in that I agree. We probably should take you off of it. What I didn't make this poster But I did but I should have said something then I should have asked you no, it's fine I mean you use you here's what it is. If you had a line in my movie, I would put you on the poster Yeah, yeah, because it's like, um You're a big draw, but I should have asked you about it that probably It uh, can I be honest with you because I like to set boundaries now if someone likes a pro And I just got off Two ships passing in the night. I know why Like through the night of harmude the straight of harmude. Yeah, you know what I mean? We just slowly passing through the night. Yeah, like we don't have any oil. We have no yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah Yeah, we only have like plastic containers Right. Yeah, right. We're just collecting seeds. Yeah or seeds. Yeah, we're collecting seeds seeds and seeds We're just hell we're just wandering. We're lost. We're lost. Yeah. Yeah, but anyway, um I don't even know why we got oh, yeah, we're passing that I'm on lexapro. Yeah, so, um, you know I like to set boundaries right and I like to be real And my I want to say something real to you is is that um, I'm ready to hear it Sorry, I get it I'm ready to hear it man. No, I just said it. Okay. Yeah, I mean so I get the bus supposed to say it was just a joke the prayer right and um You know me but I have to admit when I first saw it. I was annoyed. Yep You know and I have to tell you that as a friend. Thank you. Yeah. Yeah Uh I'm grateful that I'm you know when people ask me to do things, you know what I mean, but um, you feel like we're using you Yeah A little bit. Yeah, I mean, but being on set with you guys and having fun. I already expressed myself to dave You know, I didn't know that he didn't even mention it to me No, he showed me it. I was in in my mind. I didn't say it then but later when I saw him I said it so and then he goes then he goes next movie. You'll get bigger role Yeah, yeah, this was the much wider use poster. I think oh here we go. What are you pakistan? Uh, uh, you're pakistan all of a sudden trying to be middle. This dude's poster. Yeah, no, dude, right? We're at war guys Yeah, right. Nothing. Nothing you can do All right, he has a 15 point plan. I got a 10 point plan. They ain't mixing Right, dude. I got a six point. I got a 40 play. Yeah, it ain't happening So my point is this okay, you know, I really like You know, I mean because I've heard your stance on rogan You know, I mean, um about your feelings toward, you know, what's going on Especially in that area of the region. I really in the middle east No, dude In austin aloha bra. Oh, yeah You know what's going on over there? Yeah, bro. The boba shops are shutting down. We're shooting pool with jayrod today No, you follow jayrod did he's the best? I don't know jayrod. No, but my point is this I really you know I think I agree with you with a lot of these things that you're saying, you know, I mean, I don't see it out loud because um, you know I'm a libtard I've always have and I always will be I've always happened. You think so. Oh, yeah I mean who we're all liberal about some stuff. I think we're all was just whatever. Oh, you are. Oh, yeah No, I'm full blown. Yeah I don't give a fuck about no immigration. I didn't know that man and it's okay. I don't know I mean, I I I don't you know, um, I don't talk about politics, but I just you never talk about it You never have never will you never do? Yeah. Yeah. This is the first time I've ever brought it up Yeah, really and I want to say to you that um, I like what you're saying about it. That's all I know Well, it's confusing. It's confusing and um, you know, all you have to do is you have to ask a question And you go, why is this happening? And you do some research Right, and then you figure it out. You have critical thinking and you go and then you look at the past And it's a little confusing, you know, and I have a lot of questions Why are you looking at me like that? No, I'm just trying to absorb what you're saying. Yeah, these are the things that you know, huh? No, I'm just saying right now you look like a like kind of like a uh wasp that listens to 311 kind of Why does it do why does it always have to be A put down you're right. Sorry. You're I mean, yeah, you're right. Yeah, I'm giving you a compliment You're looking like I look like a mosquito from some sort of southern land. Yeah, dude, you know put it back on then I'll give you better. Yeah, give me another one. All right. You look like the uh, oh you look like the eighth dwarf homie Yeah, you know what I'm saying? There's like sleepy, Yeah, what am I doing? Sleepy, sneezey, dopey, yeah, and ramen. No, no, it's gotta be E. Oh, yeah. Sleepy, sneezey, dopey Gookey. No, why? Gookey is not a word. I don't think. Gookey monster Oh, okay. Where's the Gookey? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Have you seen the Gookeys around here? Yeah. Oh chocolate chip Gookey And it's just like chinese guy with a fucking handful of chocolate. I remember the days of your back I was thinking about some of the stories you told back where you grew up and stuff Yeah, yeah, and it's so weird and I thought to myself. What if there was a korean theovon? That'd be so funny Oh back when I leave, you know in busang. We had a guy in our neighborhood We called him crazy our chore Left eye was chinese right eye was japanese. We don't know what were communists I mean that's like, you know, some of your stories, you know, I mean and the people that you grew up with Is so it's I it's so so believable and true Would it translate to y'all's culture you think my culture and y'all's culture? We have the same fucking culture What the fuck are you talking about? What you know? I'm seven. No, I don't know what you're saying. I'm an american Wubby, no, no, no I'm tired of this shit. I'm not saying. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, you are. Love you. I'm doing this thing again I'm not I've never done anything Oh, you're saying you're trying to separate us when we're the same You and I have the same empathy. All right. You're a very sensitive guy Are you not? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I think that you have um a tad bit of ADHD Okay, okay, and these are things that you that's why we're friends because I understand these things about you You know what I mean and you're a sensitive Empathetic gay dude really whoa, whoa Dude, I mean let's be real. Huh, and you've kissed the tip. I've never had yes. You have you've kissed the tip dude I never even went by anybody's winner in my whole life One dude like was trying to get us to like play navy in his bath or whatever And dude I fucking I didn't I didn't read my baby. Huh? I didn't read in list Oh, you didn't really all right. No, I wouldn't dude. I signed up for the draft for that game Yeah, yeah, I was not about dude, but yeah, if you if you if they who would you fight for if they had a draft? I mean, here's the thing good if they said because I'm 54 So they said there's a draft and we're extending the age to 55. I think I have a compelling reason to get out What is it? Well, one of them is is that I will kill more of us than them You I'll go And just do a full circle You're right Right and then like who you kill Jim frank, you know, I mean like a little like a yard like a yard water Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, I would kill more people than them, right? I also have like, you know, I mean I get hungry real quick Like some of the like some of these boats that are out there I mean us um vessels are out there. They're running out of food, right? So if I was in a jungle fighting in a war, I would just biting trees and shit Whatever, I mean, I got eat. I would eat anything if I would dude if you got shot I'm gonna take some But what you eat eat eat part of my body this song Well, what what part would you have first you think be honest? The tip dude Bro just have it all Just if you eat the tip off dude, it's gonna fucking look so weird I'm a P. O. W. I said no, I want this is what I want if I was a P. O. W. Yeah Don't eat just the half of my winner. You know what I would do I would talk I would cut all of it your testicles and your penis, right? And I would tuck everything on inside a hole and then at your funeral people are gonna go. Theo. What was the fucking? Trans man. Yeah, no, I do tricks dude. What if they what if I was trans man and they buried me in a trans am dude I I'll be there at the funeral, but no, um, but dude that'd be crazy like yeah, just don't what would you draft wise would you? Well, let me finish this up. Do you just threaten me eat my wiener in a fictional I was kidding good. Okay. Yeah We'll say that then Because uh there's a comedy podcast. Yeah, I understand that you understand that but when you show up with your energy And what do you mean by energy some of it seems today to be a lot And a little bit threatening is that fair to say A little bit a little bit. Yeah, you say I'm gonna have a I'm gonna stand again. Oh, yeah, you're just like I'm gonna yeah You know when you say you're I'm just gonna nip off the end or whatever Yeah, I would never do that. Do you know what I don't want the I don't want my wiener to be missing the end of it and people like What happened? I'm like it got nipped or whatever. I do dude the honest. Can we say nipped or not? Absolutely. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, I would I wouldn't nip Right. I wouldn't lick You mean I wouldn't gargle. Oh, you mean I wouldn't smell. What are you talking about? No, what I'm saying if you died on the Yeah, in in the war. Okay, and I would literally Take your tags. Yeah, right. I would bury you I'd make a little I'd make a little you know, I mean tombstone. Yeah, here lies comedian Theo Vaughn And I wouldn't do anything. You know what I mean? You wouldn't do anything to my body to desecrate it No, dude But everyone around me other soldiers. Yeah, you think so. Yeah, because I know you there's no way when you to get the tip Or eat any part of your body I would do that fucking have a little bit of your ass boy. Not your ass, but just hit like boy. Sorry buddy Yeah, yeah, yeah, let me put this hat on. Yeah. Yeah, I'm gonna put my hand on Bobby can you scoot your chair to the left a little what just scoot left a little when you get seated? Okay You know what time it is cut prize picks Prize picks who you with prize picks prize picks. It's america's number one sports picks app That's what it is The app is really simple to use to get started. You just pick more or less On two plus players stat projections. That's it. You pick more or less on two plus players Stat projections and lock in your picks Plus you can even follow me. You can tell me at the ovaughn directly in the app You know, I don't know what I'm doing I do it for fun See your friends picks directly in the social feed and you can tail them with just one tap. 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I remember the first time i'd ever seen a arm What's it called? an eagle, bro First time I'd gotten out of school For summer vacation, right? And you remember, you know that last day of school year you get out And I remember walking down the street because my bike somebody stole my bike and I saw that beautiful thing and I couldn't I didn't even know they had you could put that much Just dang just Quality beauty onto something. I didn't think you could get something that nice unless you Rented it from like an ashtray furniture or something. But anyway iconic summer moments deserve an iconic drink It's mountain dew an american original the refreshing citrus kick of mountain dew Is the perfect companion to your american summer adventures? When I get me a little mountain dew, man, I like to diet because I you know i'm saying because I get that Rattle in me. So no i like that mountain dew diet and my cut I get to hold my little god nephew sometimes And he's a baby and if you just dude I get me a little mountain dew diet in me and you put my god nephew in my arms and dang Amen brother Enjoy the refreshing citrus kick of mountain dew an american original tasting great since 48 1948 look for american dew limited time packaging or find it in stores near you at mountain dew dot com That's mountain dew dot com Um, but um, you look like tokyo drift af bro right now. Thank you man another one, huh? It's gonna keep going. I'm just saying look at tokyo drift as fuck. It's a fun game. I'm moving. I mean, huh? Hello. Yeah, I'm just saying okay. So in a war now. What would you do in a war? Yeah I would Chill out man. We're fighting again. Let me let me give you the circumstance. Okay. Give me the circumstance We're doing vietnam too. Oh There's got to be a sequel. Yeah, because we lost the last one. Did y'all Y'all I'm always on your team Maybe y'all I was born here guy. Okay. Yeah. Yeah. I know. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, you do. Yeah, but I'm saying Yeah, yeah, I'd still be dude if I was an american soldier. I still be wearing this hat You would oh yeah, that's good. Yeah, so I can sneak onto the other side Bro, we would do with the boobie in the best military ever you and I yeah, oh, yeah, yeah, dude We would fucking stay up all night. Yeah already in oh dude. I was relapsed eating twizzlers Oh, yeah, dude. We'd have we relapsed on opium dude that our own government would sell to its soldiers. Yeah We we yeah, we were shooting opium. Yeah listening to purple haze some folks born Yeah We'd be cut What is it good for absolutely nothing said again? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, and we're like shooting opium, right? And they're just like kissing tips. Yeah, dude Yeah, yeah, yeah, you be kissing the tip with music heroin Just the tip bro. I just want to be straight and help my country. I'm straight too, dude I have a girlfriend now dude. Here's what we'd be doing. We'd be staying up late and we'd get pissed off And I would cut one of my nipples off and just throw it and you'd catch it in your mouth. Oh, that'd be cool, dude That's how fucked up we'd be. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That's partying. That's partying, dude. Oh, yeah And then I would sew it back on your nip. Yeah. Yeah, dude. Good god. What is it good for? Absolutely nothing say it again born Say anyway, we're one of us to Vietnam too that what would you do you're drafted the above draft it Okay, born in the usa isn't a vietnam song That was written way after I know but I'm just saying don't sing that song then for that one part of both of us So I won't sing it. Let's go on. What did you ask me? What do you mean? What? Come in bro. Dude, I'm usa all the way dude. Are you? Oh, yeah, dude Well, guess what one of my favorite restaurants are Cracker bar. Oh, it is. Am I American or what cracker bar? Cracker bar. Yeah, really? I think it's the best breakfast, dude It's a good breakfast spot. It is sometimes it but when I walk in in the south There always is like the everyone stops working. Yeah when I walk in. Yeah Well, there's kind of like a moment of remembrance like when I think so. They're not saluting me. No, they're like, what the fuck is this? Well, it's because some of it's just like just like an old it like I remember this like my my stepdad And he was in the wars, right? And he what were? I don't know. He was in at least two two two out of three And he went to he would take my mom to the chinese buffet It was called the war. No, no in in town. He would take this mom They had like this place called yellow bellies or whatever as a chinese buffet or whatever I don't remember. What was it called? Let's even look it up But he would take my he would take my mom over there. I'm not even joking. Huh? Yeah, yeah Yeah, he would I'm not joking, Bobby. No, it's not called yellow bellies. It was no way. It's called yellow bellies, dude Bro, yeah, yeah, it was called yellow. Okay. Okay. They changed the name. They changed one of the letters on the sign. Yeah to um To like yellow bells or whatever. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Oh, that's better because the eye burnt out or whatever So it was just like yellow bells and it was just like, oh, it was a belly with an eye at them. Yeah. Oh, that's so funny Yeah, yeah, yeah Yeah, yeah, yeah, that's what I'm saying is a plan words. Oh, yeah, but it's um So anyway, what happened was he would after dinner he would always go sit my mom in the car and then he'd go back in and he would like Apologize to some of the workers that worked there for like things that had happened when he was in uh, Different conflicts. Yeah. Yeah. Wow But we've never been in a conflict with china Is a chinese restaurant? Yeah, so your uncle would go into a chinese restaurant And apologize. It wasn't my uncle. It was somebody that my mom was smashing. All right, whoever you're mom's smashing Yeah, yeah, yeah, so we've never been in a war really with china So he's apologizing to a group of people That they have no idea what the fuck he's talking about. They know no, they don't know A chinese people are like, oh, oh, thank you so much for you know apologizing because we were feeling so bad about it No, but dude, not everybody this happens a lot in small towns, bobby And this is the truth a lot of small towns if they open up a place that is ethical in the town and it's different Yeah, they will hire anybody that even looks like that culture to work there So I could get a job at yellow belly Yeah, dude, manage it, huh management. Maybe assistant manager. Okay. Okay, you know, maybe yeah They might let you manage on sundays Yeah, but what i'm saying is this so he would then he would go in and kind of apologize and you have to think This is something kind of crazy So a lot of people went and fought in some of these wars, right? Then they came back and they never saw anybody from any of these cultures until like 40 years later when A restaurant with some different Ethnical food showed up in their town and that's the that's like they never that's kind of crazy to think that you know Does it make sense to you? Let me get this right. Yeah, okay. So what you're saying is You're let's just call this guy jim. Okay. What do you want to call him? His name is charlie. Okay. All right. We gotta call him charlie. Huh? Yeah. Yeah, yeah, ironic that his name is charlie I mean look And he was a nom you were gonna call him that no matter what Yeah, but sure you can yeah, and he died and he wore a lot of rest in peace charlie He wore a lot of gloves. So what you're telling me is charlie came back From the vietnam war. Yeah, didn't see an asian person for 40 fucking years Yeah, right and all of a sudden yellow belly opens a chinese restaurant Semi chinese all chinese. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Yeah semi chinese All right, and he walked in there and because he hadn't seen in a vietnamese person in 40 years He went up to a chinese person and apologized for the vietnam war and what he did Yeah, okay his heart had been changed. Yeah That's the truth, bobby Bobby, that's the truth. I swear. I know but maybe go to my mom would tell you I understand that but maybe go to a vietnamese person But they don't have all they don't have a vietnamese restaurant in town We it doesn't at that point. It's like you just take what you can get bro They they'll they'll hire a fucking mexican guy who who's a fucking who's high. No, there's isok chinese Yeah, who's yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Hi mexican guy. Yeah, just like you smoked up 20% when you walk here Whose eyes, you know, he's got those low rider eyes, you know, like Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, so what you're saying to me is is that And did he feel did charlie feel better about doing that? He felt no I just think over the years his heart had been like he just kind of like, you know something You know, he just had probably some remorse. Yeah And I feel empathy for that but um, I'll tell you what the chinese people were thinking at yellow belly What what what that about? Yeah, yeah, yeah, that's what they thought they're thinking What what are you talking about? No, yeah, yeah, because they're not in the vietnam. Do you understand? Yeah, I feel like you know, no, no, no, no I think that there's I know I know exactly what I Know because we do this all the time. No, we don't yeah. Yeah. No, we do we do this all the time and you know, uh What do you mean? We do this You saying you and I have this conversation a lot Yeah, you and I always go into and I don't want to do it anymore. I think this is the last time I'll give you the other hat then Oh, you want that share crop ahead, huh? How you doing, man? Huh? How you doing, man? I'm good, sir. Yeah, Billy Lee. That's my name Billy Billy Lee billy Lee billy Lee. I love you. I love you. I'm happy to be here today working for you, sir What can I do for you? I just want to apologize For what I did to your people in the vietnam war I apologize. What's your name in my name? Yeah, man My name's clark Clark, I apologize But see how that feels you have hold on. Yeah, you have nothing to do With the fucking vietnam war. Yeah, you're a white dude named clark wearing that hat because you just happened to get a job It's a busser at yellow belly, right and some guy. Yeah, charlie. I've been working there for almost three months Yeah, yeah, so a clerk. I want to apologize because I know you were in that hat. You're probably you know, I mean Yeah, I slaughtered a village You know, man, and I feel bad about it, man So hey, I want to give me a hug man. We hug right? Yeah, get a little tip Five bucks. That's what he would do. He'd go down and hit him a little extra. Yeah And he uh, charlie seems like he would hide the tip So there'd be a like a nice like it's like a heated rivalry. You ever see that show? I haven't seen that. Yeah. Yeah You know that show the gay gay hockey show Uh-uh, is that a show? Yeah, you know, you never heard of heated rivals the hottest show in america. Is it really? I think I've heard josh morrisse's in it. Yeah. Yeah. Um, it's about these two Gay top gay hockey players, but they're in love. Oh, there's a lot of gay love. Is gianni palo in it. Yeah I think gianni and joss morrisse might be in it. Yeah. Yeah, but anyway, um He did no shade josh. There's a scene in here. He's a he did right rivalry Yeah, when one of the hockey players passes a water bottle bottle, right? So I'm gonna just show you what one of them does All right, so they're they're not out. You know, I mean, they're like these like manly hockey players Can you pick it up with that hand, please? Yeah Yeah, no pick it up with that hand. Okay. Yeah. Yeah, and he passes it like this, right? And then he does this How does that feel do what they say so that people can see it on the camera? So you know, okay, do with your other hand. So do it with this hand use your left hand. Yeah I don't have a lot of control in this hand. I'll try I don't give a shit. Okay. So you pick the pick the bottom Pick the top. Okay. So you grab it like this and he goes What yeah, and then you take the bottle. Oh, that's like one of the first episodes It's like kind kind of like a um Gay relay race. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It was a gay relay race But it's also a way to show like, you know, I mean, right there's foreshadowing. Yeah, there's some foreshadowing So if I did that to you You you and I doing a show together at the store Yeah, you know, bob you hand me a bottle of water, right? And I handed you a bottle of water and you stayed ahead and I and I kind of just briefly with my finger rubbed your finger Yeah, how would you feel about that? I would feel like you were rubbing my finger and I would feel like you were Trying to give me Trying to say something to me trying to say something to me with just your finger without even saying something to me That was gay and that and that and it would be something that was gay. Yeah, and I'll tell you this right now I don't do a fuck. What would you do that to me? What if I was unconscious? No, dude You have to feel the finger. Oh, you know that slogan feel the finger Yeah, yeah, my grandfather used to say it all the time Feel the finger, but do you see? Yeah, see? Yeah. Yeah. So your grandparents can do that kind of shit. Yeah, but my grandparents can't go into a um A uh Chinese restaurant. Yeah a buffet and um a Chinese buffet a Chinese buffet and trying Reconcile some differences. That's what I don't understand. I'm saying that you can work it You can reconcile differences with people that you said you have to reconcile differences with yeah, not some other nation Or people it makes no sense I don't know if I don't know if I agree with you Make your argument. Well make your argument. I'm trying to make it make your fucking argument. You keep attacking me I'm not attacking you because what you're saying is nonsensical Bro, I'm just no, no, no, no, no, you don't know anything about you think here's here. Here's what you think Bobby No, I'm sorry, Pakistan. Right. I've been here so many different times, right? And I'm gonna say what I'm gonna say, okay You think no you think you're giving angry share crop or energy right now. Yeah, and I am one. Okay. Okay. I have I have a farm I'm a farmer. Okay. I'll go do you seem to think That the whole country I mean a continent of Asia. Yeah, right is one block That we have the same traditions language um writings culture etc they're all I'm listening completely different Right. I I believe so it's it's like saying. Oh, yeah, and americans like somebody from the congo. That's not true Yeah, it's not what if you said like, okay, somebody from uh, Mississippi is like somebody that's from north carolina They're similar. Yeah. Yeah. They look similar But they're different one of them probably watches out our banks and one of them probably listens to the soundtrack at the gym Of uh, Mississippi burning or whatever, but the content of north america. How many countries are in there on the continent of north america? 51 no Three dudes you're fucking setting me up. There's no i'm not setting you up dude. Yeah, you are you're spy. Dude. You're massage I'm not massage dude. I'm the opposite you are. Yeah, I'm in rubble You what I'm in rubble you're in rubble. Yeah, okay good. You understand what I'm saying. Yeah, I got you Yeah, yeah, yeah, so what I'm saying to you is there's three Countries on our continent Which are what? North america south america mexico. No, no What is it that's why you know what I mean charlie shouldn't have said shit dog, but dude he doesn't understand You're like, I would like to know politically things. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. He doesn't understand. There's canada america And also mexico Yeah, yeah Now central america. No, that's a what is central america? Yeah, that's not a part of okay. This is when the wizard runs out of his magic, right? This guy got give me the how many countries I mean, how many countries are in north america? This is including central america. Yeah, but it's central america north america. I don't think so Just just put in north america. How many countries are in north america bro. No, just let me finish It's never gonna. How many? How many countries in north america 11 that's central america and stuff it's including but yeah in Oh, hey, hey in north america, there's three countries. Okay. Oh, grand. So it's it's like Okay, yeah, but here's my defense in Charlie is Defensive who? Charlie. Oh, okay He would bro. They don't what i'm saying is in in some in some smaller communities They will open up a place that has a cuisine from an area even a realm Right, so realm. What do you mean like? Like lord of the ring shit. Yeah, they'll open up with some fucking Mongolorian Oh, i'm a lorian restaurants. Those are my favorite. Or you know what i'm saying. They'll open up a month. Uh, mandarin Yeah, or a mongolian stir fry place chinese adjacent. They'll yeah chinese at adjacent. Yeah. Yeah, so they'll open that up, Bobby and then People the people that work there first of all, there's no way anybody. There's no way to win this argument. It's fucking crazy Let me take this hat up. There's no i'm gonna hear you out. What's the problem with the head? Yeah, I don't like it I want to speak my someone. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, so what there's no way to win this argument But i'm so interested to see how you're gonna do it go ahead. This is my final rebuttal. All right Go ahead and this is like the end of that movie. Have you seen um a time to kill? No, give me another movie. All right, uh Oh, Lincoln lawyer, but i think i don't yeah, give me another movie. All right, um Bridge over the river kawaii Yes, i have Okay, so this is different than that Okay, here's what i'm gonna tell you. Hold on. It's santino. It is. Yeah, hold on Yeah, what's up? I you're all you're i'm doing theos so Project Hail Mary is one of the best movies i've seen in years. I know it was an amazing movie, right? What's it called bus boys? I cried I cried like four times. I told you dude. That's one of the best movies i've seen in years What's it called and then right after I went and I watched bus boys, which is now in limited theaters all around the country Yeah, how do you feel about bus boys? Bus boys bus boys is up there with some of the greatest um fantasy sci-fi drama I agree. I loved it. I loved every second of it. Hi, Theo. Hey brother. What's up, man? We miss you We miss you love you guys very much. Sorry to interrupt. Oh, yeah, but we'll talk about the movie later But what was that movie called? What was that movie called? No, i'm gonna tell you after we hang out. Okay, great. Okay Okay, let me get project man. Hail Mary project man. Hello, Mary. It's great, huh? It's so good I want to go see it. Is it in theaters or it's on vod? I would recommend you watch in theaters, but you're not gonna watch it Yeah, well I'll go watch it. Would charlie watch it. Huh would charlie watch it if he was alive No, well then that's you're part of the same He'd like to be in the shed. He liked to curse a lot. Oh, oh, oh, here's like the unabomber I don't know about that But he took care of my mother. He had a small dog But here's what I want to tell you though. Oh, yeah, finish the argument. Okay a lot of times in small communities, Bobby people If anybody seems semi-asian if anybody seems what's a semi-asian a guy who's asian But also you don't know if he's asian man if somebody just has dark hair and it could be a white guy But he had funny eyes even just a trans chick who can't see that good, right? Like People will fucking it all works and that's sort of it doesn't work It's wrong. It doesn't work for us, bro But in that kind of place you just you just take what like you like you take what you can get right right? And so they'll have people sometimes you'll get a Mexican guy that's been in a fire even and they'll be like Oh, this guy's taiwanese or something. He's not right, but people don't know dude They just so i'm just saying like sometimes that kind of shit happens and people try to make bridges where they can Okay, if there was a guy that was slightly blue, would you think that they were from the movie avatar? I'm sure charlie would have went up to him You know and offered him a fucking Dude speaking. Yeah. Yeah, but let's move on. No, no, I don't want to move on. I think I see your point of view Right. I'm not seeing it's right or anything. I'm just yeah. Yeah, what I'm saying though is is that this is small town um, you know what I mean world view But also No, there's not new york's it break up that asian fellow we had on here that young boy or what I remember I saw some clips um Yeah, asian rey young boy asian Bobby kisky to your left. Yeah, and he listen to the listen to what he said one day that brought me into some crazy Okay, racism that was happening. Okay. I don't think we'll find it there. It might stop us, but maybe it won't maybe well I don't think it's on here The full one might be on youtube short something. Can you just find it? Um, dude. Oh, did you see those? Look listen, I'll mess up. This is dude. Did you see okay? There's moving slot machines that are going on tell me I would like to see they move watch this they move now Oh, yeah, they're gonna be coming after y'all. All right Look at this Bobby. Whoa So say you're I know Yeah, you're taking a ship No, no and it comes looking oh no, that's crazy. But say Your wife's like all right. You can't gamble anymore tonight. You have to go to bed or whatever right and that thing comes knocking on your door later With like oh, oh, yeah a bottle of wine or something. That'd be crazy. You know, yeah Or even just for like you put a hundred bucks in it though. No Yeah, but that thing could pin a fucking dude that thing could pin of an older taiwanese man against a wall And make him spend every buck he's got. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I see what you're saying. I'm just saying that's just messed up Yeah, I think that this is too far. Is that what you're saying? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah Moving anything like, you know like but atm machine too then if they do this they do atm Yeah, what else machines that can they do? Um, oh, you know the crane game Oh, yeah, that one. I would like that. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I've never gotten one. Have you really you have it? I could I can never grab it, dude. Huh? Yeah, sometimes I'll I'll have it hook onto like, you know, the like on a plush toy. There's like the little, um Whoever man you like made in china. There's like a little bit of a white I tried to get the crane, you know, I mean middle part through the part of the ticket that are a little late Label and I try to pull it up that way, but it somehow slips, dude. Oh dang. That's a good strategy though But um, yeah, I just what is it? What kind of age? What kind of what what kind of age is it this age? No age. Oh, uh, he's tai Oh, I like it He's tai. Yeah. Tell me about him. What do you say? He's one He's mexican or he's taiwan. Sorry. Yeah, he's taiwan at my center No, I'm just saying look at the kind of shit that these kids are coming over here and saying, okay? I don't want to hear it. I will let you call me a chin chung I'll give it a pass really? Yeah, just call you one time. It's okay. I know you want to do it I don't want to do it. It's okay. Like like I'm cool. Like if you mean I'm gonna give it a pass You can say chin chung. I would not say I would probably I would think it's like I want to hear Like I don't like chin chung that much Why I would maybe call you like uh Slot machine boy or something like that something that Asian people like to do look at this little Kind of slot machine. Look at this little slot machine. Yeah, what do you mean by that? Like we slot like Yes, that's it. No, that's the slot machine. That's not Yes, no, I think that's slot machine winner It's like it'd be like a slot machine is add like if when you hit the bonus on a slot machine Crazy, let me tell you something that's unfair You know that guy we know we all know each other I I can call oon right now dog kim jong-un. That's right dog. You know, he was supposed to play your role in the movie who kju Might have been joking you're gonna give him one line in a movie. We offered him its four lines You're gonna put him son of the it was the only I was wait. Wait. I was second choice dog No, I will wait. I was second choice for four lines in your movie I Hold on. That's crazy, dude. I don't know if it's I don't know if it's true or not. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah I believe you. Yeah, you were a producer And you wrote the thing dude. We barely got through We made it during the fires. Yeah. Yeah, I understand that listen about this asian guy. Okay number one I don't want to give him any more airtime. This guy's kind of fucking you brought it up All right You made me watch the whole video and then like watch it. I watch I can't say anything All right, then go on right He's not he's from ching chong go on bobby. All right. He's from the land of them He ain't no american I'm american Yeah, I know y'all. Yeah. Yeah, I mean so it's like ching chong hits different with me than that ching chong Yeah, you know what I mean? Oh, yeah, you know what I mean? So it's like, you know that little also Let me say something a little octopus knuckle. He ain't shit. He ain't shit. There's a little octopus knuckle, dude You know what I mean? And let me say something slots. I know why you said that man Because the slot is a slit. No. Yeah, that's why you said it A lot is a slit and a slit is a slot, dude Bro, I'm doing parables, dude Parables. Yeah, let me say something about all right. Tell me something. Let me say something. Okay right I give you permission Maybe not on camera But off camera to say whatever you want to call me because I'm not going to take a personal I don't do that. Yeah, you do You have And I've said I've called you certain things Oh, really? Yeah Just to you off camera To me Was that there? Yeah, is that what you're saying? I was there? Yes, oh off camera you have. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, not behind my back. No, not behind. No, I'll be on your You know what? Wow Well, I don't want to go to the fence rest. We're gonna break for lunch A great story like monsters ink stays with you forever And disney class is where you'll find your next great story From the return of the award-winning hit series rivals Welcome to the naughtiest show on television to the unmissable crime drama high potential Got a dead body gotta go a lifetime of great stories awaits this spring on disney plus 18 plus subscription required t's and c's apply You know in the past I was uh hesitant to invest my money and who wouldn't be because you know I mean I used to throw my money in a wishing well when I was a child and just and I wish for more money But I didn't realize I was working backwards So many of us only focus on where our money is today But acorns is the financial wellness app that cares about where your money is going Tomorrow, that's what they do acorns Is a smart way to give your money a chance to grow You can sign up in minutes and start automatically investing your spare money Even if all you've got is spare change. That's one thing I like about it That's why I got my niece and nephew signed up with it It puts their change away and lets them show what savings looks like sign up now and join over 14 million all-time customers who have already saved and invested over 27 billion dollars with acorns Plus acorns will boost your new account with a 20 bonus investment offer available at acorns.com slash Theo that's a corns Slash Theo to get your 20 bonus investment today terms and conditions apply see acorns.com Slash terms for details pay non-clinic endorsement compensation provides incentive to positively promote acorns tier two compensation provided potential subject to various factors such as Customers accounts age and investment settings design acorns fees results do not predict or represent the performance of any acorns portfolio Investment results will vary investing involves risk acorns advisors lc and sec registered investment advisor view important disclosures acorns.com slash Theo There's times in the past where I went to the doctor And I didn't feel like I got anything useful out of the visit. 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They'll ask you how you heard about them Tell them we sent you this episode is brought to you by better help Life's a journey hell and look we're barely living You know that people are poisoned by food. There's glyphosate and You know, you're watching television getting glyphosate thrown in your face through the You know 4k or whatever 5g wireless, you know, the animals aren't breathing, you know, what's going on What i'm saying is some days feel good and others feel overwhelming better help is reminding us that may is mental health awareness month And it's a good time to check in with yourself and understand where you're at. That's where better help comes in better help therapists Work according to a strict code of conduct and are fully licensed in the usk America and they do the initial matching work for you so you can focus on your therapy goals And I do want to say if you go see a therapist and you don't feel like if you if you don't feel like it's a good match Get another one. I sat in with therapists that I didn't think it was a good match I sat in for far too long because I was afraid to speak up for myself You don't have to be on your journey alone. That's the truth Find support and have someone with you in therapy Sign up and get 10 off at betterhelp.com slash Theo. That's better help.com Theo The judge is gonna return to these chambers. We'll be back after lunch. Yeah. Yeah. I love that show. Yeah. Yeah I yeah, I've said some stuff behind your back Ooh, Bobby get that hitter, huh? What's up the flavor? Is it that's fucking tobacco, dude? Yours is just tobacco flavoring Yeah, I quit smoking it over a month ago. So sometimes I'll take a hit That's insane, bro. Yeah, that's how I quit the same way. I'm fucking not quit What do you mean? That's not quitting Dude, if you if you're smoking a pack of cigarettes a day 20 cigarettes Yeah, honey cigarettes And I let me one. Have you heard that song? No, Morgan. Wallin. No, dude. I went to his I don't know the modern shit I went to his concert the other night. Dude. I saw I saw fucking Karen carpenter at the Coachella I didn't know one song really. Yeah She came out. She came out and I had not one song. No Sabrina Sabrina carpenter. Oh, yeah, Karen carpenter died her in my her in my dad. Uh, uh, yeah Dude, no, Morgan. Wallin, dude, you bro. You got to go see him. No, I know I'm not gonna see bro You got to do his walkout with him, bro Have you ever seen he does walkouts where people walk out with him? Nick Saban freaking walked out with him, Bobby Yeah, I don't even know who Nick Saban is. I only know people it's not Nick Saban, dude Like he's a guy who freaking makes coupons. He might be saving some it's Nick Saban. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Listen to me guy Bro, he loves you, dude. Oh, yeah, I love him back, dude But what I want to say to you is this last night we let the liquor talk bro Last night we left the liquor talk. That's good stuff. Listen to me, dude. I don't I hear listening. It's not It's a regional thing, dude. You're out there in Nashville You mean all your shit, right? We don't do shit like that, dude. You're right. You're right. You know what I mean? smooth That's your shit, dude. You know what I mean? We do different shit out here in LA dog. What? Yeah rap Punk bands, you know what I mean? You all are You're right. You know what I mean? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah you. Last night my bus fell down a river Yeah, like music. I don't even relate to last night my dog came said hello Those are like that's your music. You mean my corn's growing like Some brown rose like Nevada Nevada. I'm sorry. Yeah, that's funny countries don't work quick. What all right? What? I woke up and I couldn't see this morning And Then I realized it was not So I had to redownload my iPhone software I put my white hat through the door I like the ending is it's like a CBD. It's a CBD. Conte BD Why do you say see me decided it's like a yeah, it could be cc you said Exactly what dude. Oh, did you see that gay volleyball? No, no, hold on a second We keep well, bro. We're not we don't even know we're saying I know that's a thing. That's a thing When you and I are together Right, just say it man There's anxiety and we want to get to the next thing Right because we think that Silence is bad. That's a good point. Uh, I do feel like that if you always felt like that. No, but when I realize It doesn't matter with you and I It's gonna be good. Well, let's say you're it's it's gonna be good and there's no need for anxiety And there's no need to like what's clippable And you know because when you and I are together sometimes it gets clippable and it becomes Sometimes viral and when I think when I was coming here today There's a reason why I haven't done your shit in a long time is because I don't like the pressure Of doing it with you specifically because if we don't create magic Right, then it was just a waste. I brought that up to nick today before you came. Yeah. Yeah, and I prayed about it before this Yeah, but what I believe is is that um, then when I was driving I was like I don't care whatever it is it is. Yeah, and I'm okay with that you know, because um we're both doing well in life and um, I think I believe that you're a very good person. I'm a good person and um This is not rush through it man. I'm here as long as you need me. You know what I mean? But I think we have something I mean Where's bear dick at? He's over there. Yeah bear dick. Yeah. Do we get stuff already? Yeah, I think you gave the clippers some fuel. Yeah We got some stuff, right? You got more enough. We got more than enough. So what I'm saying is is that um, can you slide to your right a bit? You're in theater. I know I know honestly, dude What you're doing right now is I said to go to the left now gotta go to the right We haven't had this problem yet. You're you just you know, you're full of energy. Does you look on center? He's just creeping into your shot. So move your mic. Oh, god. I gotta get you I'm okay here. Move your mic and you're good. Bobby. Look at this right here. This is you in the movie This is your anxiety. Oh, there you go. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That's the guy you beat out for your that's a good first of all Bobby That's the guy you beat out. No, no, no, that's kim jung un as me in the movie dude No, he came in for a read. That's the guy you beat out for your role. You freak. Oh, so he came from north korea and and red Went on set and read for you and he didn't get it. Yeah. Yeah, and then you're like, let what other you mean Chong chongs do we know and then you called me How many people did you call before you called me? Did you call ken jung? Do you call jimi o yang? I did send a text to kim jung. He didn't text me back ken jung kim jung Yeah, yeah And I did also we did reach out to ken jung or ken jung un What is his name? Yeah, at least kim jung un kim jung un. Yeah. Yeah. No, that's ken jung. That's ken jung So he said no, he said no Yeah, but he did he what he did say though They wrote a letter back like his like affairs person, right? Yeah, and they said That they loved david spade and dickie roberts. I thought that was just all layers that they put that in there That's pretty cool. Who else did you offer before you offered it to me? We offered it. You were you were right? You were second Oh, so kim it went kim jung un the dictator from north korea. Yeah, and then I was second 100% 100% yeah, thank you so much. You bet. Yeah, I mean because I think you got it if you got dictator Like victor or bond and then we got dick taster So I think we did good dude. It's not fair what you just said. Oh, you didn't have a lot Yeah, I just yeah, I looked at it. I only had a little yeah I almost costed it Okay, dude That's all I did right and you know this about me dude. I do I might be 5% by They that and that's not a lot. That's not a lot dude. Oh these days these days, dude They go all the way of 100% You know me and it's like I didn't get that No, I would be okay if I had 100% but I'm only I'm only 5% Dude, if I was yeah, I would just I think I think you're I think you're 3% 3% Yeah, yeah, I think in the right circumstances you would kiss the tip I would Henry cavo Who's Henry cavo superman the one before no, I'm not having some guys working all the time out meeting people at night and shit like that Okay, here's what I will say this if I If I didn't get married to a woman at some point And there was like a cool dude who was not trying to like do any sex or touch my ass or anything But wanted to chill separate rooms Maybe He is a chef or something. Hmm. Maybe if I also don't have to talk to him every day. Okay So it's 1% Yeah, yeah, okay. You're 1% 1% or even dude. I dated a chick with hard tits and that freaking kind of that was a lot Dude, I did it a hot chick. Yeah with saracotta ass No, you know saracotta from terminator. No, yeah, like she was buff Right. So her ass felt sourced and agri-like. Oh, yeah, you know what I mean? Where I like it when it's like there's like some fat You know what I mean? Yeah, and she was beautiful But her ass was saracotta and I couldn't do it Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, like because I'm not the terminator. Yeah, you know what I mean? I don't have those robotics Some ass to a woman they go to the gym so much in their ass has a little bit of hair on it That's the craziest thing. Yeah, like how much hair not a lot, but just enough for you feel they shaved a couple times Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, and that's not crazy Yeah, but it is a surprise. It's a surprise sometimes when you go in the cave and you see some foliage. Yeah, you know what I mean? Dad, I don't like Oh, really? Yeah, I like my caves clean. Okay. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah And you have we have now the technology to do it I don't want foilage because I'm not like a cave dweller Dude, would you go back in the 1400s? You think an eat a little bit of ass or what? In the 1400s I would pass on that dog. All right. Yeah, man. You get the measles. Oh, you will. Yeah Yeah, you'll get some sort of like, you know, the thing that would kill somebody back then Yeah, I'd have like one of those asian. You know what I mean? Yeah, I get I mean You get that you get that holy, oh polio Would you eat 1400 ass? Oh, yeah, polio Um, no, dude am I doing that shit dude? I will tell you this bro. No, I wouldn't even answer that question You asked me. I know. Yeah, I wondered but here's the thing. Let's just before you move on because you're being anxiety I know you're doing right. I'm getting excited. Let me chill out. All right. Chill out for a second. Okay You know me because I'm a I'm a Podcaster as well. I know dude. You're a professional. You guys one of the top 10 podcasts in the world. So are you? So, um, that's crazy to think that though. I don't think about it Let's still crazy to think I don't it's crazy just that it had that it's people tell me I go. Oh, I guess What is your podcast big in um, like in other parts of the world? I don't know as it is. I don't know the stats I don't know stats and it's like, you know, it's it's like that old term. You know, I mean, I don't live in the results Uh, uh cooked pot doesn't boil or whatever. What is that term? What is it a watch pot doesn't watch pot doesn't boil A cook pot does boil though a cook pot does boil. Yeah Yeah Yeah, you know, how about this? Why don't you when you use terminology sometimes? Yeah, think about it first I think that's one of your problems. You mean what when it pops into your head I don't think there is that thing that goes let's think about it. Yeah, you just say What was that Karen cook pot cook pot, you know, I mean boils, you know, I mean and it's like It's not the right thing. So it's I think that's a part of your anxiety. Yeah, you're right, right It's hard for me to leave that space in a place I'll just like if something's like somebody if two people are sitting there and nobody's talking it gets really uncomfortable Yeah, you're that way too, Bobby. No, I've changed for me. Are you serious? Oh, yeah, I'm dude. I'm so silly What would you really do to change that because that's a big thing a lot of people deal with it Because I don't really care it really anymore I have empathy and I care about the world and that's not what I mean. I don't care like whatever direction my life takes I'm just gonna go with the flow And it's not my responsibility or I'm not a psychic I don't know what's gonna end up happening to me. What question you answer right now. What I'm asking you is uh What do you mean if like say you and I were talking and or say you're talking to anybody, right? And there becomes a moment of silence. This happens to be a lot of relationships If there's a moment of silence, it's hard for me to just sit there and let there be silence Yeah, but you said that you've changed with that. So I'm what I'm asking is how have you changed? What have you done that's changed because that's kind of I think therapy has helped. I think lexapro has helped You know, sometimes I'll tell riddle in for my ADHD. I didn't take any today how much pro you want. Yeah, pro what lexapro? Lexapro. Yeah, um 10 milligrams. I think okay. That's a little bit. Yeah. Yeah. It's a little it's a dose Yeah, yeah, yeah, you know, it's like when they say um when you're performing a lot of comics hate the silence But that's when they're listening, right? And I feel so comfortable with you because we've known each other for so long that um, We could take a break. We don't always have to like Chase a laugh or say something super interesting. That's the thing. It's like We perform for the algorithm And for what people are gonna want to watch I think with you with you sometimes that it does turn into that or this is the first time I've ever thought that So it's funny that you said that before you came over whenever you got over here because I did think that didn't we talk about it? Nick I said Um, what would we say what what are we gonna talk about and it was like let the moments happen Yeah, yeah, and and if the moments don't happen, I'm okay with that too. That's okay. That's okay. Yeah, because we'll podcast again Yeah, and again, and I don't want to lose out on a chance to have a good time with you We're already I'm already having a blast me too. You know what I mean? The things that you talked about charlie was insane It's not it's not that yeah, yeah, and and yeah, it's fucking insane What and that's already that's already something that people are gonna go. What the fuck is he talking about? What cuz he's a small town like he likes to go out to eat or no, no, no, no, I don't want to Don't do your fucking confused white face You guys do that a lot. You're confused white face. Who does who are you? You know you guys you guys do that a lot Oh, you think we're all We didn't start a war And your eyes cross You know what I mean? You started it You started it. We didn't yeah, you started it. Oh, it's been going on for 47 years That's fucking I mean they're about they were about to have a nuclear weapon. Come on, man I don't do confused white face. I get it. I know the town Yeah, I've been around a long time. I know confused whites. That's trump and his fucking. I know but that you're sometimes you're a confused white He thinks of that's trump and his fucking missile monkeys doing this But those missile monkeys are also confused whites They're munkin it around. I know you know what I mean? And what I'm saying is is that you mean don't confuse white me dog You right? Yeah, I mean because I'm a confused yellow. No, you're not sometimes. Yeah Really confused. Yeah, but The lexicals seem confident has it really helped you. What does it help you with? I'll say this you seem a little less shy Because sometimes you get shy you ever try to put your hand in an aquarium and try to get up get one of the fish out of there Yeah, yeah, yeah, like a koi fish or just at a party or whatever and they keep going They will not come into your hand. Yeah, because it's a defense mechanism But that's how you are. No, but they're like, uh, you mean a crazed white is you know, I mean trying to grab me Oh, no, I'm not confused white. I'll keep my hand open and just wait till something comes in it Will you will you clutch it? No, it's kind of softly open like this. Do they ever do it? Never never, you know why why? They're scared That's how I remind me of you. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That's a baby. I get out. Yeah. I'm not really that scared anymore Good. Yeah. Yeah. Are you scared? Yeah. No, I'm happy to hear that. No, are you scared? Are you scared? You know, I've I've gone through a period recently in the past few months. So I've I've definitely dealt with some fear, you know Yeah, I think scared of like, uh Yeah, I don't know dude like things get scary in the world and you think like, uh Yeah, if you say certain things that people are gonna do something bad to you or something bad could happen to somebody you know Do I get death threats and things like that? Yeah, that's scary You know what I mean? You get those? Sometimes I have From who? I'm not gonna I blocked them immediately. I don't know. Have you ever gotten a stalker before? Oh, yeah No way. Have you? No Never Can I tell you something that's you're confused about again? Yeah, right? And this has happened to me four or five times I'll have a I'll match what somebody with raya. Mm-hmm I'll take them on a date And they'll go, what's the you up to? And I go because I was hanging out with vancouver and then like I couldn't get in touch with them And it's like, you know, like tell me you're right and four matches were listen hear me out I'm listening four of my raya matches, right? We're because they were trying to get to you and that's when I deleted raya. You're off. I'm off of it I've never been on it. I know but my point is is that you know what I mean? Like, you know You know My point yeah That women probably do stalk you. I believe they do because I have yeah, I do have a lot of women You know, I mean on my instagram going, you know, I mean, tell the I think he's hot That's crazy. Yeah. Yeah, and it's like, you know, I'm pretty hot Yeah Dude, if I were a gay dude, I would fucking smash you dude Or I would date you or I'd ask you out. Sorry Don't smash right away, man. Where are you gonna take me? Huh? Where you gonna take me? You know where Yeah, yeah, yeah, I love ellie. Yeah Hi, bro, and we'll apologize for charlie. Hey free appetizers Yeah, no, dude. No, you would take me somewhere nice. I'll take you somewhere like if I said like, um, what town is this? LA I would take you to homo casay if they have that dude. It's just too gay dude Just disguise in their wiener as fish Yeah, like oh, no, I think you would take me somewhere nice like if I go a la take me to Mastro's steakhouse. I'll take you somewhere nice. Yeah, really nice. Yeah. Yeah, I from matt. Why she's taking me there all the time We make out like if you were gay and I was at your dad Would you make out with me that night or I don't think so. I don't like to make out on a full stomach So yeah me either. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It's crazy. Yeah. Yeah, and you know what I've been doing lately, dude Inner cleanings. What is it? Are you talking? I've been doing inner inner cleanings, dude. Are you and what do you guys and what do you mean by what do you mean? You guys what do you mean by it when you say inner clean? Inner talking about um when I say inner cleanings, what would what would that what would that? What do you talking about? I just had a colon colonoscopy. Oh, damn that butt fountain or whatever. Yeah. Yeah. I got a buff butt fountain They found no pulp. Did they yeah, and they found no cancer Let's go. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And now I do inner cleanings. So what I'll do is by my bathtub I have one of those japanese um toilets. Yeah, you know me Oh, yeah, right. Yeah, sit on it and warm up right away. I stepped in he would shoot those if he saw them You charlie would He wouldn't shoot but he would draw on it. Yeah, you're drawn. You were drawn. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Wait. It's a flashback and trauma Yeah, yeah, yeah, of course. Yeah. Yeah. That's what I'm saying, dude. Yeah. Anyway, um, and what I do is I have fancy body wash Next to my toilet, right? So I have a bidet. You have a bidet. No, I don't have that Do you know what one is? Yeah, I know it's something that washes in your ass and stuff like that and I respect it. I'm glad we have it as a culture But I don't want it. Why don't you want it? I'd rather wash my own ass like a fucking man I know but the thing is is that when you use dry toilet paper, right? You're not getting the innards But sometimes you'll put some wetter on that toilet paper, dude What's the wetter wet or keep your little stash of water by your toilet? We'll just get a fucking bidet. It just does it naturally when you press a button Yeah, you're gonna you're gonna have a fucking wetter. It's the same fucking thing Dude, I'm not fucking letting some wame. Oh fucking clean my ass. All right. I'm doing it myself But you can control the angles. I'm old-fashioned. All right, dude. So I control the levels So it hits the hole, but that's not a colonoscopy, but I already had one last week But I'm now I'm talking about cleaning my innards. Dude, I'll let you keep anything that comes out of it Like if they have like a they found a fingernail. No, yeah, yeah, they found a finger Yeah, I knew those are in there. So we said those are in there. Yeah. Yeah, those are in there No, but so I So your health is good. No, no, let me finish my innards story. That's what your problem is. You're right. All right And I take some body wash. I let the bidet hit directly Into the you know, I mean calamari. Yeah, what I like to call it. Okay. Okay. Okay. That's what it looks like Okay, right, right. I hit the calamari, right and then sometimes I'll open up my own cheeks Right. Oh, damn so that the water sprays right into the hole into the hormones, huh? The hormones spray the straight to our moves, right? It does close It does close, right? You know me but you know me we're charging We're charging two million for for vessel. That's you gotta charge my poo, dude Yeah, I charge my poo two million dollars. Don't they pay it? Bro? Yeah, that's what you got to tell your butthole It's like a blink twice if you're in trouble, you know Yeah, so anyway, I spray it inside and then I'll take a Tissue paper some body wash, right? I'll get it inside the hole and I'll do a double spray Ooh, right in the hole, right? Then I do a dry wipe. Okay, right and I leave so that like, you know I mean when you're having sexualities with my girlfriend, right? Um, you know, I mean, there's no problem, right? I mean, aren't you self-cleaning when you know, you're about to hook up Yeah, I wash my whole body. I've been taking a little break right now from dating and stuff like that But I'll wash my whole body I do that too, I do that too. Okay. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, I know I only wash that I don't know what you're doing You're Have you ever met yourself? Have you met yourself? It's crazy. You're crazy, dude. You're fucking crazy. Whatever dude. Use white, dude. Whatever you told me Yeah, you know what I told you what? Huh? You said you used to work on the Andrea Gale, dude That fishing boat that went down, dude. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I survived it. Yeah. Yeah. I survived it and you lied Yeah, I lied about it. So my bad, but let me say something right now. Okay. Of course. I wash my body Before I do that process. Okay. Got it. Yeah. Yeah. That's all that's all I'm saying. All right. Yeah. Yeah See, that's all you do is wash your body I wash my body. I wash my whole body, huh? I steam your body. I'll go to sauna in the morning But in Nashville? Yeah, natural or here Oh, you do. I've never been to sauna with you. You haven't no, I like to do it one day Yeah, I'd love to go over there, man If you know, there's supposed to be some good places that people go like as a group and stuff I haven't been any of those. I'll just do it at home But also I'll go to equal knocks over there and then I'll go over there You mean as a group like, you know people will get this is like a bath house or something. Yeah No, I'm not talking like an o-town Yeah, okay Um, like if we gathered a group of comics me you gillis and tino. Oh, it'd be so fun. That'd be fun You know, I mean, and would you be like one of those people because a lot of and I'm I know I'm bringing white up a lot. Right. All right. All right, but what I'm saying you were gonna do it for you came here Well, you bring up Asia a lot like you're confused about the whole fucking continent Well, you guys aren't sharing a ton of information For to iran, we are to iran. Yeah, we have satellites Well, we're not getting much. I you guys don't send me. I'm an american. Let's move on. Okay Okay, but what I want to what I want to say is if you see this volleyball player that you We were trying to find a movie role for you when I was on bad friends We're trying to find a movie role for you that would be really really great and we're like What would be a great movie role for roby and we found have you seen this guy? Yeah. Yeah, let's see it This is boy. Jordan Lucas over at seesaw dude. Okay Splash baby he gets it done, bro Oh, he's Oh, I see I understand Welcome to I understand valley ball, baby. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. He's in the valley, right? He's at seesaw. Yeah. Yeah, north rich Up in north rich bro. Yeah. Oh He put that flamenco on a baby. I understand a guy. Yeah. Yeah. He's flashing that flamenco Yeah, so that's I would play a black gay man in a movie. No, this guy's not black He's not what is he? No, jordan lucas. Yeah, he's a fucking boss. That's what he is Oh, he's a boss. Yeah, dude. Yeah. Yeah. He seems like a black boss. He's sassy. He's sassy. Yeah. Yeah Now would you be intimidated playing against him bro game set sassy brother? That dude's a fucking boss, bro Yes, I'd be intimidated playing playing against anybody that is doing that plays volleyball well. Yeah. Oh, that's true He's a boss. Yeah, shout out seesaw and what's your team name that uh And it says right there. I can't stop watching the vid of this north rich college volleyball beast diva lol That's where we're at, bro The beast divas have launched homie The big out. Yeah, bro. Yeah, that's what we you need You need that kind of like energy in the world. You need aggressive capable gay males Or semi gay, I don't know. Yeah, I don't know this guy definitely has he said that we don't know if you're saying that I saw an interview with him. He's gay. Okay. He could only but he could be straight and have gay moves Now that's I've done some gay moves, but I'm you know, I mean 95 straight. We know dude. No, no, no like I'll wait and I'll go Okay, you know what I mean, but that doesn't necessarily mean Right, you know what I mean? Oh, yeah, I'll like when I kiss the tip. I do it manly Okay, you know what I mean that's not like a dad like kissing his son goodbye. Yeah, yeah one kiss a year. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah Yeah, like that dude. Yeah, yeah, like aggressive, but like Heterol. Yeah. Yeah. Heterol. Yeah. Yeah for sure. Have you seen the tie on draft? So there's a draft in Thailand. No, yeah, bro. You're Spike Lee. That'd be your name, dude If there'd be your Asian name, bro If you play volleyball, that's so funny. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That'd be so fucking sick. Yeah, ladies gentlemen spike Lee Yeah, yeah, yeah, and I'll be spiking you. Yeah Dude, you should do it We should do like he didn't be heated rivalry where I'm spike Lee, right? And uh, and we're not putting you on the poster if we do your volleyball But we'll do a movie you and me are the leads and just I'm on the but it's like heated rivalry where I hand you a And you turn there's a finger there's a finger, right? What do you think? So you're saying what we do like it's a movie. So it's not it's not it's art It's art. You think we broke back Jake gilinol. Yeah, I know Jake you do. I love him. Oh, yeah I had dinner with him. He's a great guy. You did. Yeah. Oh my gosh. You never even said that Well, how would you know you never asked me you think you would tell me? Yeah. Yeah Well, I don't tell you everyone I've had dinner with I know that but at least you would say hey Jake gilinol Yeah, yeah, he's a great guy. He's so funny. Who's your dream guest to have on your podcast on bad friends? Oh, shit dog Uh, my dream guest or on your own podcast Tiger belly is my own podcast. Yeah, but I'm saying tiger belly or bad friends The dream guest would be um Brad Pitt Wow, yeah, I just want to see what it's all about To see it up close and personally, uh, damn, bro. I want to see if it's an illusion Or it's real if it's makeup. Have you seen him in real life before Brad Pitt? I saw him one time. Yeah, is it real? I mean, I was scared. I didn't know what to do and I just yeah, you trembled probably Oh, yeah, I was like opening a door for him and I got all scared and shit. Yeah. Yeah He went in the building up all them. Yeah I know but when you look at him, but he moved quick. Yeah, I know he looks like a very quick guy Yeah, like one time I was um, you know nothing about soccer No, I know the world cup's coming to the usa. Yeah. Yeah, that's good. But anyway, um, my favorite soccer team is arsenal fc when you do it, I do it and So the soccer team has like War good god What is it good for absolutely nothing say it again? Okay, so um, I was I'm an arsenal fan Can you hear me? Here's the thing about you. You don't listen You're already here's the thing about you. You're already thinking about what you're gonna say next I get different topic. So when I'm I know your eyes, right? So when I'm talking, right? You're already thinking about something else You're not really listening. Okay, my bad. Let me drop in I you want it. You want this to be over? No, I don't tell me about arsenal, dude All right, so their legendary player is a guy named tiri honry tiri honry t h i e r r y Yeah, how'd you know that because I've seen him before. Yeah. Yeah. He's one of the greats. He's one of the greats People say he looks like silly macula as well a little bit. Yeah, yeah a little bit. Yeah, yeah, yeah Yeah, so honry. I was at a hotel. You met him. No So I was in a hotel in new york, right? I was shooting the movie the the dictator Right and they put us that I forgot what hotel it was And I remember being in the elevator and honry walked did they put you on the poster or not the dictator? No And I had more lines than bus boys, but they didn't care about you Yeah, they didn't care about me. You cared about me. I can't believe I didn't ask you that anyway, honry walks in, right? and you know, obviously there's it's like hey, I'm a huge fan or Can I get a photo or whatever? You said that to him? No Nothing came out of my mouth. Oh, I was so in shock that he was the last person that ever thought I would dream Dreamt meeting or seeing in real life. Of course that when he got off his floor The words couldn't come out. No. Yeah. Yeah, that's how much of a fan I was And then when I missed my moment, I missed my moment. You know what I mean? So, um, the other day I was at pizzeria bianco Right and the dude that runs that created it. I'm a big fan of He was in the restaurant No way. Yeah, and I walked right out to him. I go can I get a photo and he goes, sure kid So I do it every time now because I'm not fans of like, you know, he was in the restaurant No, this guy that created chris pizzeria bianco. Oh, he was in the restaurant It's the one the best pizzerias in the world the creator. Who's it bring it up? That's him right there. Yeah Yeah Chris bianco. Yeah, Chris bianco. Oh, I've seen him before. Yeah. Yeah. There's one downtown in LA very good pizza I don't go down there too much, but I will yeah. Yeah, but anyway, um, so now when I see somebody Can you listen? Yeah? I'm back I'm here. Okay. Now when I see somebody like I'm not like fans of like, oh, there's you know, I mean Sabrina carburn or David Robinson Or so like uh, yeah, yeah, yeah Like what normal like Mitch McConnell like maternal eyes. Yeah, I call him, you know You know, I mean like, you know, so most people are like, I gotta get like selfie with Mitch You know when he's in it. He's a zone. Yeah, it's fro zone. You know me when he freezes up. That's my favorite part of him Oh, he's glitching. Yeah, he's glitching. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, but anyway, that's his come face Yeah, did you know that? Oh, yeah This is Anyway, like Mitch McConnell, that's crazy. Yeah, yeah, that's that's his come face to We're gonna go to hell for doing this. That's a real face. Yeah, that's a real face Yeah, see they're using some of these senior citizens. Yeah, they're just they're using them to just Imagine his Chinese wife underneath them and that's the face he uses. Oh, yeah Yeah, I mean you gotta use that. Yeah. Yeah, you gotta use that. Anyway, so Are you fans with somebody that's weird that if you ran into them that you'd be star struck I think probably Marilyn Manson probably He's dead, huh someone alive. Oh, yeah, I gotta go out there history like gang is con that'd be cool Yeah, yeah, but yeah, but Marilyn Manson's dead. Yeah Is there somebody that you would like you're in an elevator die Are you thinking Marilyn Manson's still alive? Charles? Oh, you met Charles Manson. Oh, Marilyn Manson. Yeah, Marilyn Manson, dude Oh, so I'm I think God Oh thank god They got he didn't die. Oh, oh, fuck. Yeah. No. Yeah, I know him. You do. Yeah. Yeah. Dang. Yeah. Yeah, I do know Yeah, I I met we kind of I was talking to like somebody that works with him for a little bit and then um But uh, yeah, I think probably him would be somebody that'd be really neat the pope maybe A pope leo or the previous one the new one the one is beefing with trump online. What about the one that jd vans killed? You remember that guy? I haven't even heard about that Remember jd vans visited him and the next day he died. Oh, yeah. Yeah, so it's like Yeah, so that's why I mean I will say look jd has a strong handshake I know but now this pope wherever jd's out. He's not there Oh, yeah, like he was in africa and the jd was like in dc And if jd went to africa the pope would go to antarctica, you know, man That pope ain't fucking fucking with no jd. Hope on a rope. Yeah. He was a pope on a rope. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah that last one definitely was Yeah, yeah, yeah, uh, so if you ran into the pope or or What about can I just name some names? Yeah, I'm trying to think because people I'd be star struck Yeah, and then you would like be like, oh fuck. I gotta get a photo. Oh, julia roberts. I'll be star. Oh, yeah You get a photo. I don't know if I'd have to throw a photo, but I would just be starstruck. Yeah Yeah, I don't know if I'd ask for like I think sometimes it's better to say No, I'm okay without a photo. This is what so here's the thing. Okay When I was at Coachella, yeah, right and I saw the Sabrina carpenter and I saw I went for the strokes Right. Mm-hmm. And I got front row so did Mitch McConnell. Yeah Sorry, it's magic. All right, let's go on. Yeah. Oh my god Dude My pope a face. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. He does look like a turtle, dude Does he I don't mean that part. I don't even see I just see what you see a senior man that's getting like getting used to funnel ideas and uh Danger through but it should be an aid you believe there's gotta be a limit They gotta put a cap. Yeah, what's the cap 60 65 65 cap. Yeah after 65 you're out. You're out. Yeah I think so too. And it's because I'm 54. I'll do crazy shit. Would you ever run? I'd run fast. We ever run for office. Yeah, would you? Yeah A congressperson or something we need somebody I think yeah, you know one of my ideas are cray cray I mean, I don't know ask me about something. I'll tell you what I would do But here's the thing we have the first vietnamese house representatives Person was from Louisiana Really? Yeah. Yeah, look him up. Yeah, so you can differentiate between vietnamese and chinese and I wouldn't say that But I would say that that's our boy right there. All right Joseph cow And he's from your your your your homeland. Yeah, that's him right there. Yeah. Yeah. He's a boss, dude He's a boss. Born in saigon Yeah, born in saigon. What's a baler? Yeah. Yeah. So you need to either we need more asians in congress Yeah And more philippines if it was all philippines, I don't think anything bad would ever happen to the world. Do you know? You're right. I think you're right. That's the truth. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, but they'd be a lot of you could run on the same ticket, dude with jake paul Jake paul as my yeah, but we're different parties. Would you ever do because uh, this is that's actually something I did here Jake would somebody say you got offered to do ww. Is that true? No, are you serious? Yeah, it's a pointy ammy dog. Yeah, I'm saying I'm I'm fucking serious, bro. All right. Are you serious? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, I'm serious, dude Yeah, I heard that. Yeah. Yeah, I I something but here's what happens, right? I don't get 80 of it I mean it goes through like a funnel to me Because my people know what I will and will not do for sure and wwe is something I wouldn't probably wouldn't want to do really that would lose That would lose what if we did a tag team match against the logan paul and his brother I would do that too. Yeah, let's challenge logan paul, right and his brother Jake yeah tag team us we have to wear costumes though and the winner has to pay the others taxes For how many years just one year for one year if you would win Fuck yeah They're not all that dude dude, of course. I would tag you real quick. Yeah, you would yeah I'm opening and I would tag you just keep you yeah We tag each other dude. That's what we stay in the corner and we keep tagging each other till they get dizzy We become a cyclone Of tagging right and then they get all confused right and then we both get onto the ropes, right and we do what? But uh, we jump off. Yes, we just and and we attack them and we attack them down. Yeah, we attack that way through the air Yeah, like we did I ran or we get a drone to take us up. All right, ukrainian or iranian. Uh, whatever one still has a little bit of gas money left Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, and we take that up. We'll take that up, right and we'll just climb right into them I think we could do it But would you get involved in personal like even in in uh in local politics like spencer prat is running for mayor of la now You know that no, I don't know that you don't know that no no no and you know and that'd be cool I don't know if I'd both of you know what I do do do what when I do do do do I donate to Canada sometimes To help them. Yeah, you ever do that. I love Canada Excuse me. I love Canada. Yeah, oh you you you you give Canadian politicians money. No, I don't donate to them, but I love Canada. I think it's a great place Yeah, I love Argentina. What the fuck you're talking about the best posture. You don't even know, Argentina Yeah, they have the best soccer players Argentina where uh messy. Yeah, I saw messy play one time with miami Nashville. Oh, right, but it was with the miami team. Yeah, they played there. Dude. It was great I I I like I would like to watch soccer more. I think I'm gonna try to go to a uh Game when it's here. Yeah, you like those things It's like can I tell you something about something that made me real sad? Yeah, so with the last UFC fight That you and I were at yeah, all right What kind of seats do you get? We got good seats. You did. Yes. What would you think my seats were like? I saw your seats. They were good Everybody better than your No, it depends on what you're looking for. I'm looking to get closest to the Okay.哎哎哎哎哎哎哎哎哎哎哎哎 Yeah, there is a like zone where they where there's a lot of like people that um influencers No, okay, what kind of people or people yeah influence about people that are like there's a lot of people that have like It's like wheelchair access. It's like yeah. Yeah. Yeah People are impaired like people are neck braces back braces People don't flu and they yeah, you were right there though along the road people where people come out They have other attachments to them. Yeah, you're like in the neck section water. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, you have a cane Yeah, I mean The Biff they have the Biff. Yeah, yeah, yeah Just an aqua fire basically yeah, yeah, people that were just exactly so I mean that's action, right and for split second I was kind of like why am I here? You know me public your first fight really so the next time I go to a fight because I love the sport Can I just go with you? Yeah, well, I still be in the oxygen Area I can ask Dana if a if you would allow me if he allows me to go. No, you're always around that Yeah, I'm a fan of the sport. I you're always around that but it's still at his grace, you know It's like his it's like he he picks who can go wait wait wait The people that you your friends are bigger than me That you had around you Are they wouldn't you mean like a like a popularity wise? No, Giannis with me all the time Is he more popular than me to the to in the urban circles is there you're at the oxygen area? You're having a good time. Yeah, yeah, yeah Yeah, I was having a spasm dude. Look how close I've never gotten a sit where you sat here. That's amazing, bro To cheer people when they come out. Yeah, but then you put your hand out. They don't never slap my hand, bro That guy's a beast dude, and then what's that guy Nick a taba go to a yeah, is he not gonna six fight winstreet? Yeah, I'll first round knock out. I like okay. Yeah, and dude you get to see Rose. I'm a Junis when she came out Okay, so you say less. I'm you know me you and us. No me Eunice. Yeah, dude though. I was broke just to see that. Yeah You're right. I've sat in a lot of different places. I haven't always got to sit up close But it has been fun when I got to yeah Yeah, next time you sit up close because I've never been there. I'm going to go with you Yes, please I'm going in July if I am able to sit up close then I would love for you to go and just ask Dana Like my friend, you know, I mean I'm gonna send him up JPEG of you Straight up I'll say you used to fight Just say the real thing you did used to fight no no I'll say it's my friend. Yeah, I'm up. You know, you're right. I'm not gonna lie to him Yeah, yeah, well then why would you lie just now? You're right? Right you are why do you lie? I'm not lying dude. I was thinking about lying. Okay Anyway, and I said I'm not so what do you think of today's podcast? I thought it was good That's let's do a regroup and you know, okay, let's go through some stuff for one. Yeah, I do feel For one I'm happy to get to see you. Oh I do want to say also Britney Schmidt's dog passed away. So no no, I think we can just say so sorry Brittany we love you and the dog name was biggie. Yeah, and that He's he's in a better place my dog Remy passed away a month and a half ago What the gift if someone come over and help put it down my friend just had to have that my friend Tim Remember bezel who you always fight with at the casino. Yeah. Yeah. Where is he? Huh? He's the one that's trying shit with me on fucking line, dude. He just texted me earlier today He just texted me today. This is what he said kind of tell you what your busy. Is this him? Yeah Hold on. What this piece of shit? Dude, I'm not even joking the text he said he goes tell that motherfucker to wash his ass That's what he's okay. This is what he said. What are the odds of that? He goes, bro, you trying to beef with me saying I invite this shit Don't come into the studio today trying to start beef or you're gonna get God Type shit. Where is that guy? Huh? I want to get God. I want to see what that means He's in you know because I'm gonna tell you this right now, dude. He's pacified. Yeah. Yeah, I'll destroy him Okay, he's strong right but I have ways I'll go numb dude. I think you could I'll build a tunnel and a pathway Oh, so it's okay for you to go numb and just completely yeah, we can do it be a culture. Yeah, we can be a culture vulture Yeah, I'll go numb my stepfather can't walk back in he's a white. He's a confused white. No Yeah, yeah, there's a difference between being Asian right and being confused white guy. Yeah, you're right. You're right I'm just trying to know I'm not a vocal guy. I know there is yeah It just breaks my heart. Yeah, what it breaks my heart that we can't like you know get closer and with that divide, dude I know we're gonna do it better next time. We'll do it better. Yeah, I think this is one of those Go ahead. I think this is one of those times where it's like yeah, we kind of hit a spot where it's like Okay, yes, sometimes I do feel pressure like if we're a bit if like yeah It's like you get you get clips that are viral and like you do see that you can't even not see it It's like and then like people every time, you know, you'll be somewhere like there's a video somewhere There's a funeral in the guys yelling Bobby at it. You know like it's like what can you do? But it's like yeah, you do feel some pressure and it's not and that those why I've been avoiding it But that what I'm saying right, but those moments aren't like it's not fair to all it's not fair For me to bring in the like I I thought about that before you came. I thought about yeah Great listening. I thought about that before you came and I said God like let's let me just have it This is so stupid. They were even thinking about this. Yeah, let me just have a nice conversation my friend And let and let me have a new experience. Yeah, I felt the same way driving here Like I've been avoiding doing it with you because this is so much pressure on it You know, I mean, but we had so much fun when I came into bed friends. Yeah, how great was that? That was great You know, I mean, but we might have not got anything today. Well, it took me 600 episodes even invited over there If you go on I really want to look at the calendar But I don't think guys are busy. No, no, no, no, look at me right now dude. That's tragic I'll tell you this We're not a guest-driven show We've had maybe ten guests in our whole whatever the run. Oh, I didn't know that. Yeah. Yeah We've had Jack Black shy. Yeah, I mean, yeah, we get the biggest people we can get To do the guests. What's that call orange men who plays basketball? Women young no, no, what's that tall orange man that plays like Griffin Blake Griffin. Oh, yeah, the tall orange You know, I mean, oh, yeah. Yeah. Yeah, vitamin C. They call them. Yeah, the vitamin C We got when we got vitamins we got it. You know, I mean and we were lucky to have you But it's like it's not a personal thing. No, I'm feeling it's a scheduling thing. Yeah. Yeah, and So let me ask the boys in the in the booth, what do you think of today's episode? There are great moments and I just think you guys talk so naturally funny to each other You don't realize what there's gonna be some viral moment from this that we don't know That's that the good point. So, you know what don't live in the results. We did it You know, I mean, I think there are some things in there. You know, we had a good time There is it fuck it. I just want to have a good time with my friend. Yeah, I had a good time at times And that is true. Yeah. Yeah, I think that sometimes you're confused, but what that's what I like about you Yeah, yeah, I mean, you don't know what you're talking about Well, but I'm trying to learn man, and so I'm your learner, dude Sometimes you help me sometimes, you know And I could say that's same about you and I cannot believe that David's paid put you on that movie poster I think you did that. He said that you did that. No, we did not. Yeah, you did. I would never do that You would I don't even know how to do you know what I excited one. Oh, I went to Photoshop No, it your people these guys know how and I went to spade. No, just listen listen I went to spade and I go dude. It's kind of fucking weird I have like two lines of this movie and you put me in the center of this poster and he goes really fuck the L Now he said That's what he said, you know, we should call him should we call him? Yeah, I don't think you'll answer He's probably busy eating dinner or something. He has so much money sushi probably it's always sushi with him Have you noticed that? Yeah. Yeah, it is With a lot of you guys Let me call him I Know what are you talking about? No, yeah, but you know what I love you picked up for me and not him Yeah, yeah, I love the fact that you picked up for me and you didn't pick up for Theo I love you but I'm a dinner Yeah, but why would you pick up for me? Cuz I knew you were in cahoots. I go we got a situation. Yeah. Yeah. Well just real quick We want to clear something up, right? Yeah, all right So when I said to you, you know, I mean why am I in the center of this poster only had three lines and you said oh fucking Theo So Theo did it. Yeah, Theo did it. I don't think I don't think you knew about it I think it was they just somebody made it and they were exploiting you guys. Oh Oh They put me on it to The star of the movie Who cares Bobby? Oh, you're right Dave. I'm sorry. Are you eating Asian food? Yeah, I knew it so I love you dude. It's no one's to blame. Thank you for putting me in the movie I love you. Okay. Yeah until the waiter. We're sorry for everything. Okay. I Love you. Bye It was you It couldn't have been me because I don't need a photoshop Okay, it was somebody that I guess that he was eating Asian food, but no, I do feel bad that I didn't ask I should have asked specifically here dude. Dude. It's well. I should have asked I really think I think you would feel like brah brah brah I I'm so grateful That you asked me to do something that you've been working on I Mean what a blessing that is, you know, I just did an episode of episode of a show of a friend I can't say it but And he asked and I did it. You know, I mean and you know, I knew it was Peyton Manning okay, and Was it he has a new show you have a new show Yeah, the bad and you even tell me about the bad show a game show and then also my hulu special comes out in November My first special finally finally. Yeah, and go check that out But what took so long to be honest when you really think about it Was there a real reason that it kind of that it did take you a while? Did you like not like doing specials? Did you think it was like not what it's about like really really well? It's so funny. Ask yourself why I wouldn't do it Why wouldn't he do it because you don't like to try he done oh no Yeah, because I've been doing the same act. You know, I mean I I slowly add jokes It was just no hurry. Yeah, you know me and they got to the point was like I was on stage and I was like I Couldn't hear it anymore Like I don't care if it gets a laugh like I just got a Evolve and so I pen to deal I go I'm gonna get all this out there It's gonna force me to write new shit you pen to deal are you fucking Thomas Jefferson? Yeah, I pinned a deal dude like the Constitution. Thanks my man. Yeah. Yeah, and I did it and it went pretty good and I'm gonna when it comes out. I'm already writing way new shit and let's go and I'm gonna The next hour will be better. I think I'm evolving. I really do I feel you do And so That's why it took me so long. It was never like here's the thing about me I don't know why but you know, I was a club guy What I mean by that I did comedy clubs and I always sold out Even before podcast I would do well so my mind that was like no hurry I never thought about theaters or Coliseums yeah like that, but I made a living You know playing you know, I mean the yuck yucks or whatever right? So yeah, there's so many great clubs Yeah, so whatever and now it's like it's getting bigger The audience and I want to grow with my brand and I want to expand so that's what I'm doing. Yeah That's cool, man. Hey, man. Yeah, dude. It's kind of crazy. It's like evolving. It's kind of scary It's all kind of spooky sometimes like like Like growing up, you know Does it make sense kind of gonna live on the edge of your comfort zone? Fuck yeah, that's how you grow That's how great men make it take risks and go through the fire and I've always been afraid of that and I think like we talked about earlier silence. You know, man, that's all okay That was almost great But you know what is great dude Yeah, is really good to be here time I get to spend time with you. I feel lucky Yeah, so your new show starts when when does it start so people can watch it? The bad game show will start in probably September October. It's gonna be funny YouTube. Let's go Yeah, and there's the deadline all things coming on the bad game show dude. You guys look great Yeah, yeah, holy fring. We have guests on and they two guests competing against each other in games We developed dude put me on the poster You said no to the game show did I really yeah, you did but you know what what put me on the poster anyway Yeah, and I'll share that Thanks, dude, I love you and thank you for being somebody that he just text me again spade he facetimed me Let's see what he says because you know he might be on some bullshit Dude he was in freaking Dicky Roberts Did you see this laser puts a little cock on your shirt, okay? Oh That's the tits No wait one more time. He's getting older Yeah, so you did you facetime me I? Tried to yeah here's the What's up, dude? I? Was trying to save Theo and like get him out of that interview There was no controversy Yeah, dude, I did Wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait so thank you so much for that information I'll see you soon. I love you. I'm gonna hang up the phone. Okay. All right. I love you bud No, no, I love you. I love you bud. All right, so You did did I to be continued Stone But when I reach that ground I'll share this piece of my life I can feel it