#3369 RHORI S1E08: It’s Hip To Be Square Footage
66 min
•May 18, 202612 days agoSummary
Watch What Crappens recaps Real Housewives of Rhode Island Season 1 Episode 8, featuring a major confrontation between Rosie and Kelsey over house square footage and renovation projects, plus emotional family conversations about parenting and past trauma. The episode explores themes of friendship reconciliation, financial independence, and personal growth among the cast members.
Insights
- Humor and tone misalignment can escalate conflicts rapidly—Kelsey's attempt at lighthearted joking with the siren prank was perceived as aggressive mockery by Rosie, who was already defensive about her home project
- Financial dependency masks independence claims—multiple cast members (Kelsey, Alicia) claim autonomy while relying on others (exes, husbands) for housing, insurance, and living expenses
- Unresolved childhood trauma directly impacts parenting and relationship patterns—Joellen's confrontation with her mother Nancy reveals how generational dysfunction perpetuates without explicit acknowledgment of specific wrongdoings
- Real estate and home ownership serve as status symbols and conflict triggers in the Real Housewives franchise, with square footage becoming a proxy for worth and credibility
- Cannabis product innovation targeting specific demographics (menopause gummies) represents emerging wellness market segmentation in regulated states
Trends
Menopause as workplace protection class—Rhode Island pioneering legal frameworks for menopausal women's workplace rightsCannabis-infused wellness products targeting life stage demographics rather than general consumptionAnxiety and mental health disclosure becoming normalized in reality TV, with characters openly discussing panic attacks and therapyInfluencer monetization through multi-category product endorsement (Botox, weight loss drugs, supplements sold through single practitioners)Generational trauma acknowledgment in reality TV without resolution—performative apologies replacing substantive behavioral changeFinancial infidelity and spousal control of assets emerging as relationship conflict catalyst in affluent demographicsReal estate renovation projects as relationship stress tests and status competition among cast members
Topics
Real Housewives franchise dynamics and conflict escalationHome renovation projects and construction timelinesCannabis product development and menopause wellnessAnxiety disorders and driving phobiasInfidelity and relationship trustParental trauma and generational dysfunctionFinancial independence vs. financial dependencyInfluencer marketing and product endorsementWorkplace mental health accommodationsPodiatry business diversificationPet care and animal behaviorBotox and cosmetic proceduresOzempic and weight loss medicationPageant competition and judgingBlended family dynamics
Companies
QVC
Sponsor of MyGardenEscape virtual garden centre with exclusive Studio 70 retro collection and live stream services
Eat Natural
Sponsor providing fruit and nut bars with protein and fiber options, featured across multiple podcast ad reads
BetterHelp
Online therapy platform offering counseling services and therapist matching for anxiety and emotional management
KISS Breakfast
Radio show sponsoring the podcast with would-you-rather segment featuring Chloe Burrows and Tyler West
People
Ben Mandelker
Co-host providing commentary and analysis of Real Housewives of Rhode Island episode
Roddy Caram
Co-host providing commentary and analysis of Real Housewives of Rhode Island episode
Rosie
Central figure in major conflict with Kelsey over house square footage and renovation projects
Kelsey
Involved in confrontation with Rosie; navigating financial independence and new apartment living
Alicia
Dealing with driving anxiety, bridge phobias, and concerns about husband's financial control and infidelity
Billy
Alicia's husband; podiatrist offering Botox and cosmetic services; appears to be having affair
Joellen
Confronts mother Nancy about childhood trauma, being sent to behavioral facilities, and generational dysfunction
Nancy
Joellen's mother; defends sending children to behavioral camps; acknowledges but minimizes parenting failures
Liz
Operates cannabis dispensary lab developing menopause-targeted gummies; walks cat on leash
Rula
Hosts dinner party; husband Brian appears to be having affair; discusses menopause experiences
Ashley
Influencer creating content for house fragrance company; son Dawson has breathing apparatus
Gabby Logan
Sponsor read spokesperson for MyGardenEscape at QVC
Clarence Sarah
Sponsor read spokesperson for Eat Natural Fruit Nut Bars
Fern Cotton
Sponsor read spokesperson for Eat Natural bars and BetterHelp therapy platform
Quotes
"I don't like that. I don't like it. You already attacked my house and my character and like literally everything about me."
Rosie•Main event conflict
"You don't have a career. Second Dick is not a fucking career, bitch."
Rosie•Staircase confrontation
"I'm entitled to support from somebody who I spent 10 years of my life with."
Kelsey•Apartment unpacking scene
"I feel like I'm suffocating and like I get dizzy and I feel like I'm going to throw up and like I almost feel like I can't feel my hands."
Alicia•Driving anxiety discussion
"I feel like I'm broken. No matter how much therapy I've had, I feel like I'm broken."
Joellen•Mother confrontation
Full Transcript
Hello, it's Gabby Logan from the Midpoint Podcast, which is currently sponsored by MyGardenEscape at QVC. MyGardenEscape at QVC is your own virtual garden centre. They've got everything from plants, garden decor and outdoor essentials, plus at the moment, they've got retro-inspired pieces in their exclusive Studio 70 collection. And get this, MyGardenEscape at QVC can help with trusted recommendations, expert advice and even interactive live streams. Search MyGardenEscape at QVCUK.com to discover more. Use the code QTREAT for £10 off your first order at QVCUK.com. Minimum spend applies for full terms visit the QVC website. Hiya, it's Clarence Sarah from the Podcast, the Teen Commandments and we're currently being sponsored by Eat Natural Fruit Nut Bars. Yes, oh, these are great. Using some of nature's most delicious ingredients, they are chewy. Ting, nutty, ding and seriously yummy. Ding, ding, ding. Eat Natural offers bars that anyone and everyone can enjoy. And with a range of amazing flavours and options for adding a bit of extra protein and fibre into your day, they are perfect for an on-the-go bite or a quick mid-morning snack. And when nature tastes so good, why overcomplicate it? Grab a pack of Eat Natural Bars today, find them in the biscuit aisle. What happens when there's so much that crappens? Hello and welcome to Watch What Crappens, a podcast about all that crap on Bravo that we just love to talk about. I'm Ben Mandelker and joining me today is a man who I know would never shame me for square footage. It's Roddy Caram. How are you? Don't be so sure. You never know. We are here today to talk about Real Housewives of Rhode Island, a big exciting episode. Before we do that, in about two weeks, we're doing our cabaret, which is sold out, but you can stream it. Just go to our website, watchworkrappens.com, and there are links to the various streaming times that you can buy tickets for. And as we have learned, you can buy tickets all the way up to Curtin. And then once Curtin happens, no more tickets. So you can still watch it afterwards. But if you decide you want to watch the cabaret, you know, like a few days later, like, I should watch that too late. The tickets go off sale the moment Curtin happens. So those ticket links again at our website, also on our social media and join us on Patreon, patreon.com. Watch What Crappens or they go off sale, but you can still watch it for a week. Still watch it. You just can't see. Yeah, if you can't, if you can't watch it that night, just make sure to get the tickets beforehand so you can still watch it for a week after. Yeah. Patreon is where we have a newsletter and we have bonus episodes and all that good stuff. It's patreon.com slash watchworkrappens and also programming nuked next week is a long weekend here in the States. So we will not have recaps of Rhode Island or Atlanta in the following week. We will give updates on what happened, etc. But but yeah, we are we are having that Monday off, which will be very exciting. So if you're wondering where the recap go, that's where the recap went disappeared into the ether. So without all being said, let's dive into this wild episode. This game, but this is a big episode because it was two major things that we had been teased in the trailer. One was the scene with the mom that we've been waiting for. And of course, the scene with Rosie and Kelsey fighting in a little staircase by a small door. And I have to say, since the trailer for the show first dropped, they've been showing this fight and I've been amused that there's this there's this big screaming match that happens in like a mid level, like a like a ranch home. Very non real housewives like normally these if there's a fight is going to happen by a front door. There'll be like angel wings on the door and like a giant grand staircase. But this is Rosie's home, which is just like, OK, like a little staircase and blish some boots over there on the side and like a like a standard door. A ranch home is a flat home. It's like a one story. Yeah, I know what you mean. Like these like these level home and Rosie is also dressed crazily. She's wearing something that's like it's hurting my eyes because she's wearing like yoga, yoga outfit or something. But it's got those multicolored bars like a TV at the end of the night, you know, when it goes dead or whatever. Yeah. It was that was so funny. That's stupid fight. And then watching the press all week of Rosie versus Kelsey has been really funny too, because they're all doing a million interviews and just watching them rehash the fight and who's right and who's wrong. They're both such ding dongs that honestly, I just enjoy it without getting upset on anybody's side, if that makes sense. Because sometimes on these shows you watch it and you take a side and you know, I definitely do. And I get really upset sometimes. And this I'm just like you're both so stupid that I guess I shouldn't say stupid. Ridiculous that I love it. Yeah, I'm a little bit more on Rosie's side about this. But like, you know, Rosie's no angel. She she had her architectural plans laid out to basically shade Kelsey the moment Kelsey got there and Kelsey got there first and shaded her first, but just in a louder, more obnoxious way. So I still think that like Rosie is a bit more in the right to be annoyed by it. But like Rosie was also going to try to humiliate Kelsey. So let's not overlook that either. But I was humiliating to say these are the house plans and they're not there. It's not a lie. Well, just like, like when I say humiliate, basically, okay, you're coming over under the pretense that we're moving forward and we're going to do something nice and we're going to build our friendship. But first, let me take one more dig at you here are the plans and now you can see that I am going to build a big addition. But then Kelsey gets there first like, okay, well, guess what? I'm going to take a dig at you first. But either way, it was a really funny fight and I enjoy Rosie more than Kelsey sort of globally. And so I would say that I was more on Rosie's side with this. Yeah. So it's Rhode Island season one episode eight splitting hairs. So we're at Rula's house and she's with her kids and making them lunch. They went chicken tenders. You're going to turn into chicken and fries. He eats those every day. Well, your husband eats that mistress every day. He hasn't turned into mistress. So just feed me what I fucking want. And then in Joellen's house, Joellen's kid is on the sofa. She's like, okay, don't get it on the couch. Please. Please don't get it on the couch. You know, I'm going to send you off to behavioral camps. Okay. Oh God, I'm turning into my mother already. Oh God, it's happening. She's like, do not wipe your hands on the white carpet. Okay. I mean, what in the world? Girl, why do you have these children on a white carpet? Why are you feeding them food while your child sitting on the floor in your nice living room at the coffee table? Feed them the snacks at the kitchen or the dining room. Yeah. If I was raising kids, they would have a fork and they would be at a table, have a fork in one hand and a vacuum in the other one that was constantly going as they ate, you know, earn your food. That's right. So then we see Liz putting her harness on her cat. Ganjji, you want to go for a walk with mom? You want to do that? And Jerry's like, how long is this going to take? Liz? I'm like, Jerry, you didn't do not, you never get to ask that question. Mr. Gan, three weeks of every month for 20 years, you never get to ask how long is this going to take, even if it is about walking a stupid cat, which is adorable. And by the way, to answer your question, you want to go for a walk with mom? No, Ganjji does not want to go for a walk with you. You ask him every week and Ganjji is laying down. Okay. Ganjji does not want to go on a walk with you. Cass, do not want to be on a leash going for a walk. They do not. They really don't. So, um, then... I feel like there was just an earthquake here. Was there just an earthquake? Was there an earthquake? I don't know. I'm not there. I'm asking to psychically answer this question for me, please. I don't know. I'm not there. I wish I was there because I live when I'm there and we both get to go. Oh my God. Was there an earthquake? Well, I went onto the earth. I don't know if that's the best. Remember that time when there was like a real earthquake and I got under the desk while this camera was rolling for the show? It was so embarrassing. Why is it so embarrassing to hide under a desk when cameras are rolling? You know, every time there's an earthquake, they always show the newscasters who hide under the desk and say, Ha! Stupid people who were doing something for their safety. Have we seen newscasters jump under their desk for an earthquake? Oh my God. It's like one of the things that they love to show. Whenever there's an earthquake, they love to show earth newscasters. They're like, Oh, it seems like there's an earthquake and the mergers can get right under our desk and they all try to be calm about it, but they're freaking out. It's classic, classic earthquake footage. Good. Now we go over to Alicia's and she's with Billy. They're leaving their house. And did you read the stuff with Alicia? I guess we'll talk about it tonight on Crappiara. But did you read the stuff Alicia put out this week about her husband? Oh, no. Not good. She's like, we'll talk about that tonight. Yeah, we'll talk about it, but she was just in case anybody doesn't hear it. She's like, Yeah, you know, like, would you be mad if like all your money was taken by your husband and put into account that you don't have a, you don't have access to like, Oh, like basically sounding like she's about to leave Billy, you know, not good. But this is a cute scene with them where he's trying to get her to drive and she's too terrified. And he's like, I'm going to take your car because you got to start driving it. You know, you got like 2000 miles on is like a year old. It's like, look, Billy, there's a four leaf clover. Could you get that? He's like, it's a weed. Come on. It's not a four leaf clutch. It is, it is. It's a four leaf clover. It's a weed. It's probably poison ivy. Don't touch it. She's like, why would we have poison ivy? Why? Why we have that? It's a literally like a blatantly a weed. It's like blatantly not a clover. Like you could see it on camera from afar. Like that's a weed. She's like, no, that's four leaves. It's four leaves. The New York Times, by the way, is being poison ivy. We're not going to get through this recap, but these are all very important. Besides the New York Times just today has a feature up that says, is this poison ivy or poison oak or poison sumac test your knowledge? And they have this whole thing. They keep showing images and their scenarios. It's like you're hiking on the Appalachian trail and you drop your water bottle and it rolls under this shrubbery. Do you touch your water bottle? You know, and you know, they, and they're sure. You dive thirst and a fucking hike where there's no across the to me. The answer to everything was do not touch. They're like, this is, this is safe. It's wild strawberries. I'm like, do not touch. Like this is called Boston ivy. Do not touch. I'm not touching anything. I don't care. It says leaves of three. Let it be. I'm like, leaves of three, four, five, six, 12. Let it be also. I'm not touching anything. And I'm like, I'm like Billy. I'm like, I'm not touching that weed in the grass ever. You wouldn't be hiking in the first place. You're too terrified of everything on the, on the trail. There's leaves there. I'm afraid of rabies. I'm afraid of a rabid raccoon running out of the bushes and biting me. And Jesse. So he finally gets her into the car and she's like, Oh my God, Billy, you know what? I got to do a quick cracker before I get started. All right. I'm so nervous. And she has them in the backseat. She's like, taking the backseat cracker. It's like, there's nothing to be nervous about. What are you talking about? You're too serious. That's what, that's what I'm doing. I ran over someone, Billy. Okay. Somewhat jumped in front of my car. Okay. Yeah. There's reason to be nervous. Where's my emotional support cracker? I need it. I need another one. I need another cracker for the first cracker. Like it was just too much, too much for me. He's like, okay, okay. No, you're always doing this. You're always doing, you got to go over here. You got to do that. Okay. It's too much for me. He's like, okay, I'll tell you whatever, whatever it takes for you to drop off, drop off and pick up Selena to for dance. That's all I want you to do. So Alicia tells us Selena dances five days a week. Then Billy's always out doing something and like he's an entrepreneur. So like I have to start driving my daughter to dance score because like I got it. Like I got like some issues with like driving bad. Like I can't breathe. I feel like I'm suffocating and like I get dizzy and I feel like I'm going to throw up and like I almost feel like I can't feel my hands. It's like, it's like really scary driving. I can't help that. I have the fear, Billy. Okay. The bridge is like crazy. He's like, I understand, but you got to tap, like tap to take on your fears or I take on your fears. She's like, cracker, cracker, cracker, cracker, cracker. I need to have all of my crackers in case I feel like I'm going to faint. I got rosewater spray to wake myself up because it's cold. I got peppermint oil to help me focus and gum and yeah, gum. Yeah. Those are my things I usually have when I drive like at a good playlist, of course. I play earth, wind, fire. No, I play. Okay. Okay. Just pretend the road is near the tree. The band is close enough to crack us. Actually, you know what band I really like crack a good band from the nineties. By the way, my first concert that I went to actually, you know what's so funny? My first concert, a real band cracker. Yeah. My first concert that I went to was earth, wind and fire. So it's really weird that you say that. And the second one I went to was cracker. It was a triple header of cracker, gin blossoms and spin doctors. So literally, I mean, if the next thing you say is, you know what I need is Dave Matthews band. Whoa, what is happening here? It's like, okay. All right, come on. You can do this. But you just got to listen. You know, you already given me orders. Like I'm not giving you orders. Just follow the signs. But the signs everywhere. Signs, signs, signs, signs. Fucking up the scenery. Like what do I do? It's like, do not enter green light, red light. She was funny. She's like, what signs? The signs everywhere. It's a road. It's a road, Billy. My dad is like that when we drive with him. He gets like overwhelmed. We're like, dad, follow the signs. He goes, what signs? Like the sign that says go straight. Which direction straight left or right straight go straight. And every time there's an intersection, if we don't say anything, my dad will, which way do I go? Like we just keep going straight. If we, if you need to go in a different direction, we'll let you know. I need to know what to do. Keep going straight. Keep going straight. Dad, keep going straight. He like loses his mind. It's hilarious. But emotional support crackers. Maybe we should have looked into that many years ago. Yeah. So he's like, she's like, okay, you know what? Okay, God, we got over the bridge. Thank God. Okay, I want to hear about your trip. Okay, tell me about your trip. My face type. He's like, yeah, I saw that creepy doll in bed with you. What was that about? Yeah. Wait, what? I was going to say, we have to have this bridge that she was so scared of. It was like, I was expecting it to be like a suspension bridge. It was just like a bridge over a creek. It was like not like a bridge bridge. And she was sweating like her clavicle was all shiny. Like she was really going through it. Well, it's scary. You know, you could, you could fall off that bridge just as easily as any other bridge. You could, you could. So anyway, yeah. So she type out how she FaceTime from Newport. And he's like, yeah, I saw that creepy doll in the bed with you. She's like, oh, so, yeah. Selena, she was like, mom, why would you have a tea party with the dolls without me? He's like, yeah, that is kind of weird that you did that. Yeah. Well, that was just part of the trip. And then, you know, Liz, she like attacked me like crazy. We see a flashback to Liz. You were not homeless, Alicia. You are homeless in your life. She's like, yeah, my blood was like running because it was like, it was a cold for it. You know, it's like, it was upsetting, you know, Billy? It was like upsetting. I'm not over it. I think maybe it's because you know her. She was, yeah, this was tricky about it. Yeah. Like, you know, since you were born. Yeah. I was like a kid and her sister, like, it's hard for me because like a respect her, you know, like, do I put her on a pedestal? Sure. So it's like it comes at me strong, you know, because it's coming at me from a pedestal. That's scary. Is the pedestal made of wheat things? Yeah. It's still a pedestal, though. You stack them up real high. They really balance well. But you know what? Oh, God. Oh my God. Why do they do two in a row? Two in a row, two in a row. But it's like, OK, all you can do. OK, relax, relax. It's OK. He's like, by the way, you just went right through a stop sign. Oh my God. A stop sign. Why do they have so many stop signs? Because we do see her drive right through one. And I was like, you just went through a stop sign. And I was like, afraid that they weren't going to mention it. So he's like, he's like, you can't control other people. All you can control is the finances. No, you cannot have money for for snacks later. Thank you, Billy. Thank you. Great advice. Very deep, Billy. OK. You know what? I didn't want to tell you about Rola Bryant. So at the end of the trip, Joe Ellen shows me a video of Bryant. He's with MISRAS. He's cheating on her. You know, he's like, how can it for five minutes? I mean, this was last week. Like, what's a five minute hug? I mean, I can't, you know, and like, it said the date on it. You know, you can see, you can see an entire video. You see the whole thing, you know, he goes, well, you can make up a date on something. Oh, come on. Why is he taking this guy's side blindly? Why is everybody going so hard to frame this cheater for still cheating? You know, it's like he's an admitted cheater and with this woman. And they're like, oh, people are going out of their way, just putting fake dates on things to make it look like you still cheating. It's a big conspiracy against Bryant. Oh, wait, well, that, you know, that's what I said to, I said, like, I said, you can make up something. But like, no, he was like Billy, it was new. It was like, it's new. It's really new, Billy. Oh my God. Oh my God. I hate these bumps over here. Oh God, the bumps, the bumps. The speed bumps. She drives over speed. Oh God, it's my tires. What about my tires? And then Joe Ellen, she was like, you know, the gematics, Alina, Alicia, I want you to deal with this. Like what are you going to do with the video? And I don't know. I don't know what I don't know what I want to do with the information because like, I got to be honest with you. She's obviously stressed out. I don't want to kick someone when they're down. That kills me. Like that's like saying to someone when they're down, like, hey, you go drive off a bridge right now. Like that's hot. Why would you? Why would I ever do that to someone? You know, you should do what you feel, what feels right. Okay. Well, you know what? Like, I just feel like a little bit like I want the temperature in them to like see if they're like, you know, you know what I mean? Like, I don't want to get involved. Like it's so messy. They have children. They have children. Okay, Billy. If there was a video of Billy, like what about Brian? I would definitely want one of my friends to tell me, but Rula would not be okay if she sees this video. She's not going to be okay. Like, you know, it's a father of the kids. It's a father of the kids, you know? Oh my God. Okay. That was it. That was my trip. That was everything from the new point. He's like, well, it sounds emotionally draining. Did you guys get to relax at all? Not really. Oh God. Oh God. I'm getting sweaty already. He's like, but there's no bridge, but it's coming. There's going to be a bridge coming. I got to take off my sunglasses. I got to have, I got to see everything. Yeah. This is what Selena does with me, by the way. She cries. She goes, she's, she's, she's like, I, I, I, I, she's like, I don't want this. I don't want this. She's like, she cries. Yeah. Well, no, she doesn't cry. She's like, mommy, it's okay. Breathe. You're almost over. And it's like, it's torturous. It's hard, Billy. It's hard. I'm going to pee by pants. It's like, but you did it. She's, yeah, they changed it. They changed the bridge. They changed the bridge. He's like, you did it. So you're going to drop off some pickups. Okay. Here's what sounds great for the person driving my daughter to dance. Doesn't stop for stop signs. Has panic attacks on bridges. Sounds great. I think you're ready. I think you're ready. Why do they do so many stop signs in a row? After this one, there shouldn't be another one for at least three miles. Two in a row. It's crazy. It's time for a commercial. It's time for a Crap-N's commercial. Hello, it's me, Fern Cotton, from my podcast, Happy Place, which is currently sponsored by Eat Natural Fruit and Nut bars. Whether you're out for a little stroll right now, or maybe planning one later, there's nothing like a spring walk to help you slow down and reconnect with nature. And listen, for me, that moment is made even more perfect by the signature crunch meat chew texture of an Eat Natural bar. My personal fave is the protein, peanut and dark chocolate bar. Oh my God, chewy, nutty, delicious, and a great way of adding some extra protein and fiber to your day too. When nature tastes this good, why overcomplicate it? Pick up and Eat Natural bar after this episode and see for yourself. This is an ad by Betel. Did I talk too much? I should have handled that better. Why can't I just let it go? Why did I do that? I wish I would have stopped you so much. Take a breath. You're not alone. Counseling helps you sort through the noise with qualified professionals. Get matched with a therapist online based on your unique needs and get help with everyday struggles like anxiety or managing tough emotions. Visit betterhelp.com forward slash random podcast for 10% off your first month of online therapy and let life feel better. Now we go to Rosie's house and there she's taking a walk with the dog and Richie and she's putting on her wacky bouncy shoe things. And he's got a shovel in the ground and you know, working on that house, always working on the house. So she's like, you know, we start digging, but then we find a bunch of boulders and then that took three weeks instead of one and then we pour the foundation. There's an issue with that. Now we're framing and then we're, you know, tracing and then we start decorating. The fun part doesn't even begin anytime soon. Yeah. So Rosie is like, I don't know like what we're going to do with all this big hole is like, no, we're going to backfill it. Hey, you should have your friends come over and help backfill it, you know, she's like, okay, well, I might have to record you saying all this and bring it to the next group event. He's like, okay. And she's like, yeah, cause they're always trying to discredit me. And the newest thing is that this isn't a real project and we don't have any money. So I was like, um, okay. He's like, yeah, well, maybe they can help us. He's like, okay, well, everybody get a shovel. Okay. Can we look at this later, Billy? Cause I told Clemmie we'd go on a walk. I love when she said that. Like Clemmie is sitting there like you made a promise to me and I'm waiting for us to go on a walk right now. Yeah. So she puts on these moon boot things. And, uh, meanwhile, Clemmie's just pooping in the front yard. They're like, oh my God, Clemmie, how could you say, oh my God, in your princess dress, Clemmie, you couldn't hold it until after. So they start doing a little walk and, um, she's just got away and it's like, I love Clemmie. I have to say, I love Clemmie. I don't know. This dog really does it for me. Just want to say. Oh yeah. Is it the style of pooping it was doing in the yard? What was it? No, Clemmie looks like a gentle dog. Like, Clemmie is not hyperactive. You know, like Clemmie doesn't have any of that dreaded poodle in her. So she's just like a chill dog. And I just like her. I like her vibe. Oh, that's good. So there's a, there's a Clemmie fan. Clemmie's got a fan. The Clem Club. You can be in the Clem President. So she starts gossiping with Gary and she's like, oh my God. So Kelsey is moving into an apartment and the old guy that she cheated on the new guy with who she saw once a month, even though they were together is paying for it. But I'm the problem. I'm the problem. I mean, how do you make your money? Give me a fucking break, but not for nothing. Like, why does Kelsey care so much about my house when she doesn't even have a fucking house? Yeah. Well, it's projection. Sort of like what I have to do when I sing Frank, you know, and how did things with Kelsey turn good, by the way? Cause last time we talked, it was not great. Can like, but can you stop bouncing? She's like, oh, well, so she was trying to say that. Like I've always like, you know, say that like I've just never tried with her and I explained all the ways that I have done that. And then like, oh my God, wait, Clemmie is just rolling around in dog poop. Oh, Clemmie, Clemmie. Oh my God, Clemmie. That's not what a princess does. Do you want to keep your job at those, at the TV station or not? Stop that. Yeah. So he's like, well, you know, if you're going to make up, maybe you guys should do something together. She's like, well, I'll ask her to cut my hair again. And this time I guess I'll post it. So she says she's like, okay, I'll post her all over my Instagram. I mean, she can give me a new haircut, help with her business, but you know, like be a friend of me back, you know, like be nice to me back. I'm doing everything I need to do to keep everyone happy. And then it's like, he's like, okay, well, if it's unjustified, give him hell then speak your truth and go at him, babe. Okay, go at him. And she's like, we're getting to the point where like I'm about to freak the fuck out. It's going to be coming up with not too much provocation. Yeah. Well, he says, because by the way, don't forget, if they, if they have a, if they disrespect you, if they're walking all over you, you know what, just, just give them hell. So she's like, yeah. So now we go to Kelsey's new apartment and she's unpacking all her stuff there and her mom and her sister, her mom is Julie and her sister Taylor are there. And Kelsey is like, what do you think mom and Julie's like, well, still haven't gotten much personality, but you know, you're still my daughter. No, not about me. I'm talking about this apartment. Oh, yeah. You know, MC tiny, but at least you're clean mom's the apartment. Well, doesn't really have much of a skill set the apartment, ma. Thick as granite. Ma, the apartment. Actually I was talking about the countertops. So they're looking around and they're both like, yeah, this is small, but I guess, I guess it'll do. It's like, this isn't even big as your closet back at the other place. So Kelsey's, I know, right? They're like, need to find another rich guy. So she's talking about this place and she's like, yeah, I used to have someone who was like doing my laundry and making the bed. We had a living chef and a driver. Like there's always someone doing something for me all the time. There's a pool boy. So, you know, it's a big adjustment for me. I was like, well, you're still doing nothing. You're still doing the amount of same amount that you were doing back then for it. Yeah, pretty much. Someone else is still paying for it. So I'm sure you'll be okay. So, you know, Julie and Taylor are just happy. You can see they're happy. They're happy that Kelsey's finally moving on out of this relationship where she was never, she was never going to get what she wanted out of it. And they're just, you know, helping her unpack and everything. And they're, they move a table and everything. And then they, for the rest of the scene, Kelsey is tinkering with some weird white metal. She's just shelf fit. She's just completely incapable of putting this thing together. And it's like, we see it in various states of it, like going up and coming down on the table and it was driving me nuts the entire time. I was like, just put the bar into the fitting. So Taylor's like, um, like, oh my God, this is great. Like, God, you should have paid someone to put this together. And she was like, yeah, usually you have that do this stuff and how much is rent by the way. And Kelsey's like, I'm not paying for it. Like what? You're not paying for it. Who's paying for it? Well, I mean, who do you think is paying for it? My ex and you see Julie's face, the mom, just be like, I'm just like, oh, geez. I'm just like, your ex is paying for it. How come you didn't tell me? She's like, cause you're so nosy mom. She was, well, who's he paying anything else? My health insurance, my car insurance. Girl, do you know that list is longer? The phone is on there for sure. For sure. Everything. Yeah. And Julie's, Julie's like, wait, can I sit? I'm just going to watch you. This is very, it's hot enough watching you try to put that thing together. So she's like, yeah, it's the first time I've lived on my own. I haven't had bells in 10 years. So like my ex is offering to pay my apartment. What am I going to say? No. That's correct. That is correct. You have won the challenge. The answer is you say no. You say no and you get a job. Get the free shit all you want to, but don't walk around with like, I'm an independent woman. Exactly. You're still kept. It's just, you know, a different kind. And honestly, there's nothing wrong with being kept. But like, if you are like saying how you want to be more independent, yada, yada, yada. I think this is really good for her to start getting her own place and everything. Now let's make some more strides towards independence. So her mom is clearly visually upset and Kelsey says, I mean, this is not something I expect to keep paying forever. I just, just because I wasn't married doesn't mean that I'm not entitled to support from somebody who I spent 10 years of my life with. And I could have moved into Bill's house and I didn't want to. I wanted to feel what it's like to live on my own. I needed to do it on my own and by on my own, I mean, have my ex pay for it. Yeah, it makes me crazy when she says entitled. She says it a lot. Like I'm entitled to this. No, you are not. That's crazy spending. That's crazy to me. But you know, on the other hand, good for her. I think she just kind of gets on my nerves in general. So I'm like, oh God. My problem is that she's just not funny enough. You know, you often say this, Ronnie, be funny. You know, and I just feel like she's just kind of like a wet blanket every time she comes on the screen. And then like she wants us to feel bad about this ridiculous situation that she's in. I'm like, if you were like funny or campy, I'd be like, yes, live your life queen, but she's just this sad sack person who doesn't know how to live in the real world. I'm just like, I don't even know how she's. I mean, I know why she's on the show. It's because she has this crazy romantic situation. But like beyond that, there's like not. It feels like there's not a lot of there there with Kelsey. Yeah, for sure. So yeah, it's amazing the stuff you you kind of celebrate and people you like and then disdain people that you do not like. Yeah, that's what we're seeing here because I'm like, oh God, shut up. You're not entitled to crap. Get a job. If she was funny and fabulous, I'd be like, she deserves everything. Yeah, like, wait, you're at everything you can out of that man. Well, I'd be like, I'll be like, you get you get three estates, ma'am, because of what you put up with. But it's her. I'm like, oh, please get a job at. At Costco. No, like, I don't want to hear it. Yeah. So she's like, well, you know, I do kind of want to still get married, but I'm just going to wait for the right person. You know, I wasn't just going to leave for anybody. And so they're like, well, do you see it with Billy? You'll see a few tool with Billy. She's like, yeah. And here he comes. Here's Billy, everybody. He brought over tools. He's like, I don't want to take over. Please take over because watching the shelf be put together is painful. Take it over. Okay, do it. Yeah. And the the the caption said, Bill, Billy, Kelsey's only boyfriend and only was in parentheses. So shady. So he's like, hey, what's going on? I'm going to put together this random, random shelf thing. And Kelsey's like, oh my God, like I'm Bob the builder. My parents never approved of my relationship with my ex. They definitely accepted to a certain degree and they knew he wasn't going to give me a baby. And that's when my mother is the holy grail. Like also because like you seem unhappy, like it's all over your face. You seem like someone who is very sad and they probably don't like seeing their daughter sad. So Billy starts building the shelf and he's like, oh my God, this is driving me nuts. I got to fix this. And they're like, oh my God, thank you, Billy, for coming to save it. So Kelsey says, the last thing I want at this very moment is to blow up like a tick and be pregnant. I mean, I don't think I want to blow up ever, to be honest. I want to be on my own. I want to feel like what it feels like to be independent for at least a year. So you know what? Mom needs to slow her roll. Yeah. So she's, she's like 30, right? Kelsey. I'm seeing her 30. So that's really young. She was dating like a 37 year old when she was like 20 or something. So yeah, I think, I think that's probably why your mom never liked, you know, it's like, wow, my daughter's dating an old man, Coke dealer. Sounds great. Wish you the best. Which by the way, he got a rest of this week for Coke, for a dealing Coke. In case anyone's wondering what I'm talking about. Yeah. She's got charges brought against him for doing, for dealing Coke this week. So she's like, Oh, belly you're going to pay. He's like, yeah, she wants a Bentley. So then we go over to Ashley's and Ashley's son is alive. You guys. So it worked out Dawson's okay. Dawson is okay everybody. But he does have a little breathing apparatus on his face. He's so cute. So he apparently has like some breathing thing going on and had to go to the hospital, because she left the boat last time and she's like, mom, can you take Dawson downstairs? Because I've got to do an ad. Okay. So like, thank you for bringing him down, mom Dawson. Love you. Love you Dawson. She's like, I'm an influencer. Okay. I'm going to influence. So then she's talking to her sister, Lizzie, and she's like, Oh my God, I didn't even tell you my new portrait with the ladies. The trip was like overall pretty fun. Like we had a gigantic slide. So that was pretty cool. And Lizzie's like, Oh wow, cool slide story. Do you feel like you're like more assimilated now was the slide that that helped with assimilation? She's like, yeah, I'm getting there for sure. I just need to like get some spray tans and saying some dumb or shit and I should probably fit in pretty well. It's like, oh good. She says, she's like, yeah, I had a pretty good time on this trip making friends here in Rhode Island. I feel like I'm like inching my way closer. Like, can we hang out sometimes? You know, like, why are you crying? Why are you crying again? Well, I'd love you to help me shoot a reel because like Jared's gone and I have a reel to do and it's like for a house fragrance company. So let's do it. Okay. You know, like we're, I just want him to do more organic content. Like I'd really like him to try and find his niche on Instagram, you know, because like he's hot and he should use that, you know, so like, I need him back from Audrey's the coffee shop. So Lizzie is helping her. So she holds up a ring light and a phone and she's like, okay guys, I'm going to influence you on smells. This one is cinnamon cider. Then this one is pumpkin spice poop. And this one is honey crisp on whatever. It's fall harvest sense because oh my God, I didn't record. It's like, oh my God, I have to do that again. This is like so hard. Actually, you literally just picked shit up and read off the labels. You'll survive this. Please. And like, please, I like, you're not going to see me ever have those scents in my house. I'll say that right now. Oh my God, like cinnamon cider again. It's so emotional. Every single scent might have just been might as well have just been called like basic white lady. Basic. Just start calling them. Just start naming them after like the secret lives of Mormon wives. Like this one is the McKayla. This one is the Demi. So now we go over its hair parted down the middle. Are those candles doing dances? So now we go over to Joellen and she's with her. She's with her mom and sister and they're walking around her grandfather's house. And she's having flashbacks. I had a flashback because I saw the stove I used to have that yellow, that weird, like. Kind of puke yellow stove that like electric stove with the push buttons. I was like, I literally had that one of my first departments out here. And so she's getting. Yeah. Yeah. It was crazy. Um, so she's like, oh my God, like we had so many Christmases and family events here. This is crazy. Oh, and here comes my bitch mom. And so Nancy comes and she's like, hello, how's everyone doing? Wow, looks great. Oh God, what a fucking bitch. You know, my, my grandfather was always a father figure to me. So it's hard to be, it's going to be hard going in there without him anymore. And it's like, yeah, memories. They walk around remembering things and they're feeling sad. And Joellen's like, yeah, I'd live for my mom to be the way my grandpa was, but like my mom was a maternal and nor was my grandmother. So now they sit on the front stoop and they're looking at photos and, um, they see one of a long time ago and, um, she's dressed like a nun. Joellen is dressed like a nun. She's an angel, Ma. And Jen's like, yeah, look at you with Bill Clinton, Ma. And Joellen was like, did he try to hook up with you, Ma? She's like, no, no, come on guys. So they're looking at these pictures and stuff. And, um, Nancy's like, oh God, you think I'm mean? And she's in Joellen's like, you weren't nice. I'll say that she was, well, Jen likes me at least. And she goes, yeah, but you weren't nice growing up, Ma. She goes, oh, and you were nice. I'm not a parent, Ma. You know, you should have shown me how to be respectful and kind. Cause now I'm not, and I hate that about me. I'm a bitch and it's your fault. You get that from me? I mean, if the shoe fits, well, wouldn't fit your slutty foot. See, that's what I'm saying, Ma. Oh God. Well, she's saying I was mean, right? Jen, back me up. You're the good one. I like you're the one who likes me. Back me up. She's like, okay, Ma, you make believe like you didn't hurt me my whole life. She's like, well, you're blaming me for the behaviors you exhibited in your childhood. I mean, what child blames their parents for being fucked up? I've never seen anything like this before. And Joellen's like, that's not what I said, Ma. You sent me away in seventh grade and then eighth grade and then ninth grade. I mean, what's the worst thing that I did? And she goes, Joellen, your behavior was out of control. She goes, no, you would like, she's better off than somebody else's hands. She goes, the lies. What about the lies? She was about what, Ma? About being with people you weren't supposed to be with. She goes with boys, right, Ma? Well, that's what teenagers do. And you would always say you're bipolar, you're this. I'm not bipolar. Okay. I was depressed as a child. It was something you send your kid to like a place with like drug addicts when I had never done drugs. I don't know. Last time you said you were going to hang out with Richie Zambino and then like look down and there's a picture of you with Bill Clinton. How am I supposed to deal with that? Okay. I'm turning you away. I don't like that. The lies. I'm telling you so many lies. But you know what? I apologize now if I hurt you. I didn't do it intentionally. I just did it so I could watch Wheel of Fortune and Peace for once in my life. Okay. I try to get, you know, a lot of times I had too much on my plate at one time and it was just, it was overwhelming. But why didn't you love me? I loved you. And if I didn't show it's because that's how I was raised. Okay. I could do it too. You want to do it? I'll do it too. Let me give you an example of me growing up. This is how my mom drew me. Okay. One night they surprised us. They came home early and I ran up the stairs and I hit my head, my eye on the headboard and I was bleeding all over the place. And you know my mother said to me, she said, my flaws, my flaws. I just had them clean my flaws, not my eyes. And I'm bleeding. I had to get six stitches. You didn't say anything about my eyes. You know, she was like, you're going to try to guilt me. But guess what? I've been through the same shit too. Yeah. And she's like, and so the sister goes, so you didn't feel loved. Do you think you kind of became your mom? She's like, well, I do think I was like my mom, you know, that's how I was brought up. That's how I was bringing you up. And I did try to change as I got older at least. She was like, well, you did the best you could, Ma. We know, but we had a tough, tough childhood and there's, you know, the point is, there was no way out. And so I was like, yeah, I felt the same way. Like I don't think you realize the person you shaped who we became. No matter how much therapy I've had, I feel like I'm broken. Now all of this, I really needed more for the mom. Like for me, this was the mom's audition because I kind of stood up for the mom because to me it was like, well, you say you didn't, you know, in, in every kid's mind, it's like I was innocent and my parent was mad at me. But like, what did you do to get sent to this thing? You know, and people kind of get mad at me for saying that. But to me it's just like cause and effect. Like I did this, so then this happened. So what did you do for this thing to happen? Right. And no, I mean, I need you to come in here, Nancy. And I need you to be like, all right, listen, you killed the cat, you know, or you, you were murdering bunnies or like you, um, you lied about a gluten intolerance for your whole life and I had to learn how to make gluten free things. And I found out you were lying. I mean, something dramatic and horrible that would necessitate you sending your kid to a hospital. You have nothing. You have no dramatic story, Nancy. So I officially have to apologize because I was like, surely the mom can't be this fucked up and crazy. And the mom is, the mom is like, I had a lot on my plate. So I sent you away. Are you kidding? Get her a job. I mean, what other parents? Child labor. That's how most of us deal with this. Okay. Well, maybe Nancy was just a hot off guard because she's like, I thought we were just going to gather my dead dad's belongings, but that's okay. I'm happy to sit here and, uh, learn that I fucked up my children. I will great on TV. I was sure. So maybe she wasn't able to pull up some great examples, but I am, I am with you on this one. Like where was the, I was waiting. I was waiting for the, well, Joellen, you, you lit our family cat on fire. I was like, I was ready. I need something. I mean, to send your kid away three times and one time for a year to a rehab place when she wasn't even on drugs. I mean, that's already crazy on the face of it, but to have nothing except you lied about being with boys is that's nuts, Nancy. Damn. It is funny that like that's, that's Joellen's biggest offense is that she was like too promiscuous and then she has a photo with Bill Clinton is. But wasn't it the mom? No, I thought it was Joellen with Bill Clinton. Oh, I thought it was the slum. It was hilarious. I mean, it's hilarious. Um, so Nancy's like, well, it doesn't make me feel good to know that I've done the damage that I've done and it breaks my heart. And I promise to give it all to try and be a better parent and be there for you and your children beyond what I already do, which is babysitting every other weekend. But anyway, apparently that's not good enough. So I'll keep on working hard. And Joellen's like, I need you to realize that you have two daughters and three grandchildren who need you as not about babysitting. It's about spending time. Isn't that babysitting? No. And let like, let's learn how to cook. Let's do things together. I don't know. When you got 30 fingers, wipe it on the carpet. So it's you after all, you know, for my mom to say to me, I want to do better, be a better mother and like better grandmother to me, to my kids. I have been waiting my whole entire life for that. I'm like so happy, but I do deserve the right to complain about my mother for the rest of the season. And in perpetuity. Here comes one right now. Hey, it's Chintz here in Sophia from the Girls Bathroom podcast and we're currently being sponsored by KISS. Chloe and Tyler from Kiss Breakfast has said as a special, would you rather. So Chintz, would you rather your group chat, see all your search history or your mom get a full transcript of every conversation you've ever had with a boy? The group chat, see my search history. Because I've got nothing to hide. Yeah, I've got nothing to hide. And I'm sure a lot of good conversations could come from that. Well, thank you, Chloe and Tyler for that. Tune in to Kiss Breakfast with Tyler West and Chloe Burrows weekdays from 6am. So much carnage and so much great music. Hello, it's me Fern Cotten from my podcast, Happy Place, which is currently sponsored by Eat Natural Fruit and Nut bars. Whether you're out for a little stroll right now or maybe planning one later, there's nothing like a spring walk to help you slow down and reconnect with nature. And listen, for me, that moment is made even more perfect by the signature crunch meat chew texture of an Eat Natural bar. My personal fave is the protein, peanut and dark chocolate bar. Oh my God, chewy, nutty, delicious and a great way of adding some extra protein and fiber to your day too. When nature tastes this good, why overcomplicate it? Pick up and Eat Natural bar after this episode and see for yourself. So now Liz arrives at the marijuana lab. Hey Sean, you director of lab operations working on a gummy eye. So they're all in their scientist gear. We're scientists making gummies. And Liz like, yeah, we're on a cannabis dispensary and we developed so many products. Not only THC, but other compounds out of the plant. And I'm just like, I'm so excited to have my friend, Delores, to see the lab because she never been back here before. So Delores shows up like, hello, this is Delores. I'm here to look at marijuana plant making. And so they're like, what is this? I can't even get in. It's like so difficult. Barely made it. This is like Frankie's door when he has a female guest over. But can't get in. Guess the only thing that's missing is a sack. So she is checking out these, this candy or this gummy or whatever that they're making for menopause. Now they don't tell us what they're doing to this to make it menopause gummy. I think they're just like, here's some weed that'll help you with your menopause. Cause I don't know that there's like a special formulation, but I guess weed just helps with everything really. Just take it for anything. Just label anything on there and just put like psoriasis gummy. Boom, it helps your psoriasis feel better. So that it's like this blue, this blue gummy that turns all everyone's tongues blue. Like that's, that's exactly what you, the irony, the irony of like entering this new stage of your life, this like new stage of maturity while you're having these gummies that make you look like you're 11 year old. And then they just go to sleep away camp just having like a popsicle. Um, but, uh, but then they take it and Liz tells us actually that Rhode Island is the first state in the U S to make menopausal women a protected class in the workplace, which I think is really cool. So, and we see some headlines too, because why not? Um, so they, they love the flavor of this gummy. It was like, this is really good. Yeah. Don't touch this. Don't even change a single, not a single flavor. Keep the flavor exact the same. You know what I want to do with this flavor? Nothing. I don't even want to look at this. I don't even want to touch it anymore because it's so perfect. Don't get it on my site. Don't do anything to it. So they start talking about how menopause hit them and Liz is like, man, pause. I didn't even recognize myself. You know, I mean, did I get a new face? Sure. But you know, that took a minute, but you know, I was doing things that were crazy. I was walking a cat on a leash. I was drinking out of goblets for medieval times. I mean, who the hell was that? You're still doing all that stuff. Well, it's still going. Give me a, give me a gummy. Give me a gummy. Yeah. Well, you know what? It's so funny because me and Paul literally almost broke up over, over menopause. We were fist fighting over the thermostat. Oh my God, the change, the change. You know, I've even heard of menopause. Oh my God, the change. Let's be honest. I haven't felt this good in a long time because I'm, guess what? I'm getting high. I'm high right now because they are, then now they are. Hi on the gummies. That's the high. Those must be really good. It usually takes a while, but they're like, oh, I'm high now. Menopause. Who remembers menopause? So now we go to rulers and they are preparing the dining room for some guests. It's going to be a double date night. So, by the way, I didn't like this cause, cause rulers or says something like, oh my God, the dining room, we're using the big dining room. We only use this like three times a year. I'm like, lady, the last time you shot us, the group scene in your house was in the dining room. Okay. I'm paying attention. I'm paying attention. You're not. This dining room chandelier is so tacky. I could not with the chandelier in the dining room. It looks like, um, like kind of a big diamond, a toilet paper roll. I don't know what the hell it's supposed to be, but it was making me crazy. So, um, she's like, does this look even babe? This is where some of my OCD sets in. I'm ready for a cocktail. It's me from ruler. He's like, well, let's wait for them cause they'd be ignorant if we, if we, if we start drinking, it's like drinking before they walk in. I'm like, I think you meant to say ignorant, not ignorant, but that's okay. So they go into the kitchen and ruler tells us, you know, we're having Billy and Alicia over for dinner. I'm excited to have some company and let loose. Look at me letting loose. I'm already feeling pretty loose. I mean, I was very sick in bed in between my hospital visits. It's been more than a minute since I had a drink. There was a joke in there. Why no one's left. You didn't get the joke is more than a minute. Oh, I forgot to set it up. Okay. Anyway, fun ruler, fun ruler here. I love Newport. It's one of my favorite places to spend time. So I feel like I really missed out a little bit, but there's so much negative energy surrounding Joe Wellin and some of the friends in the group. Would I have been excited to be trapped in a castle with a couple of nights with the group? Probably not. I'd rather be in my own castle. There was a joke. See, that was, that was the joke actually. You guys want to laugh? So then Alicia will arrive. I'm still waiting for fabulous ruler to show up because they still make it. They're like, we're not here. Oh my God. It's the same with rule. I'm like, I love Newport, but I'd rather be in my own castle. Just like a sad robot. She is a walking menopause gummy. You know, she's like, I don't know if she's taken too many of those gummies. I don't know what she is. So Billy and Alicia arrived and Alicia's like, I love hanging out with ruler, but I don't want to give it the bad news about the video. I feel like being in a house, I want to die. I feel like carrying a poster. I don't know. I know. I'm just like, I know what you did last week. Okay. I saw the time and the date. I just can't hide it. Like my face shows everything. So they get in and Brian's like, oh my God, come on in. Hey, we're using the company room. We've only used it three times the past five years, only three times. I'm like, I know you used it when those ladies came over. So Alicia's like, I just feel uneasy because I really want to enjoy Brian and ruler and I want them to work on the marriage. But I just feel like I'll die. So I go, oh God, I'm going to get yelled at for eating too much. This food looks so good. It's like tonight we have the manja manja manja. By the way, has pizza mama. And Brian's like, I can tell it's not get a, I can tell it's not from a can because I don't get hot bird eating a piece even at midnight when I come home. You know, podiatrist always, it always a work till midnight. All those late night surgeries for those bunions. Yup. He's told ruler. Yeah, sorry. I always have to work late. It's just the life of being on emergency podiatry calls. So it was like, yeah, he wouldn't lie. Trust me. He wouldn't lie about this. It's like, mm-hmm. So Alicia's like, yeah, I need to get Botox because it was like, I don't know when to fit into my schedule because I just, you know, I got to drive over some bridges apparently. And I was like, oh, yeah, you, oh, yeah, dude, hey, do you do that? You got a place, right? We'll do, you know, podiatry is like, yeah, we do everything. Not only do we get rid of your coins, but we also do Botox, fillers, uh, use costs. We sell those as well. Uh, we also, we got some lean cuisines in the back that we sell to people, whatever you need. We got it. Botox and bunions come to me. Alicia's like, oh, wow, I didn't know that. Why you guys? Wow, that's incredible. Wow, what a business. Wow. Plus, we'll charge you less. And Alicia goes to you go to go to him and you realize like, of course I do. Have you seen my face move once ever? It's like, it's so lucky. Like, you know what? I'm getting fat off the pizza restaurants. Like at least when I get Botox, like, you know, that, that, that does, it doesn't have calories, right? Does Botox have calories? Yeah. You know what? She laughs at me like a genetically modified organism. She's like, I feel like I'm getting fat. So I sell ozempics. So I'll take a little ozempic. I feel like a light liquor loss, a little muscle. So I take steroids. I feel like I need a little Botox every day. I'm doing a little something. So she goes, did you do something? And I'm like, yeah, I see it. I sell this shit. Might as well do it. You know, I've been on ozempic for two years. I'm macrodosal. You know, that's all I do. I'm like, please. Like there just could not be any more writing on the wall that this man is having an affair. When he says, yeah, she laughs at me like I'm some genetically modified organism. You look like a genetically modified organism. You look like something was put into the debt and Petri dish that just isn't right. You just see the cell just like morphing, you know, it looks like a Botox. Copy bearer. So Alicia is like, wow, this is incredible information. And I was like, I think the two shots of tequila he took before you guys have got to him. Yeah, I'm dropping science on you. I'm dropping science on you ozempic. That's some real science right there. Yeah. You know what? Like I'm having science class right now. Like I'm so jealous. Okay. By the way, can I ask you a question? Is your husband shit? Why are you jealous? You don't need ozempic. I was in it. I was got it out there. Damn it. And then the thing is a brand gets a text message. He goes, uh, hey, can I go to the bathroom to answer this text message? Very important. That has to be received in the bathroom, even though there's many other how rooms in this house. So, and by the way, when he gets the text message, he looks down and he looks right at the camera. Like, they like looks away. Did you notice that? Did you clock? Right? The camera? He's always so fucking guilty. Like, oh, gotta go. Gotta go to the bathroom. Oh, gotta go. Okay. Okay. Sorry guys. Sorry guys. I had a work call to take. You had a work call to take, but it's all good. We can have some fun now. And at least like, wait, I thought he went to the bathroom though, but like maybe someone's having a problem with the foot. You know, I don't know. I give this too much. This guy too much credit. God. Everyone dig in. So the food doesn't get called. Manja, Manja, Manja. Oh, hey, that's not vodka. Is it Brian? And he's like, well, of course it is. I'm, I'm home. I don't know. I don't have much for the drive. I'm, I'm totally, everything's fine. Everything's fine. Everything's totally chill. I'm not sweating. You're sweating. And Alicia's like, so how long did you guys date before you got married? It's like three years, three exciting years. Brian, tell him the story. Yeah, we got married. I never stopped dating. Tell me other story, Brian. Okay. Okay. Okay. It's interesting. It's interesting. All right. So we met in 2013 and what happened was I met her at Jackie's and I said, Hey, what do you want to drink? I water my drink. And when I water hers, I make sure hers is a double. I tell the guy make it a double. Okay. So every time we get around, I'm having one drink. She's having two drinks. So before you know it, she's shit face and look at work that pretty well. God date rape. What a romantic story. I was like, I don't think this is as romantic as you think it is. Yeah. So, uh, damn, Alicia's like, I don't want to have Wula about this video, especially after hearing such a lovely story. And I don't want her to tell, I don't want to tell her next week either. I can't do it. I can't, I can't, I can't do it. I can't. I'm a bad friend, but like for not telling her anyway, but like, I don't have it in me. I can't look at them. They're like, they're like destined to be like she drank twice as much as him and wasted, passed out and then he made a fault love a lot. How could they disrupt a love story like that? So Brian tells us another great story. He's like, yeah, you know, I used to like my stick medium rap, but then I started operating and the smell of blood messed it up for me because a flamin yo that's like a, it's a Kelly's tendon. Realize like Ryan, they're never going to come over again. Oh, so now we go to the main event, which already we've had kind of two main events. I would have to say with the mom conversation and that dinner, but now we have a rainy day and Kelsey is driving her car and, uh, she calls up Billy and she's saying how, uh, she's going to go to Rosie's house and she's going to do, she didn't cut Rosie's hair. She's like, Oh my God, we're in such a better place. And like we're friendly now. And, and so he's like, yeah, this is good. It's be nice. Icebreaker, you cutting her hair. And she's like, yeah, it's going to be in the comfort of her own home. And you know what? I don't hold grudges and not only do I like glamming myself, I do like glamming other people and making them feel beautiful. So I think it's just a good way to build a connection with her and you don't get to know her. Yeah. Um, so then we go to Rosie's and she has a big pink neon sign that says, my happy place. So Rosie's talking to Clemmie. It's like, you're going to be nice to the friend when my friend comes over and she calls rich and, um, he's like, I just got the to Cabo and she's like, well, Kelsey's going to come over. So, okay, I put the plan on the counter. So I'm going to show her. I'm going to be like, Oh my God, you're here. Well, here's our house plans. What do you think about that bitch? Okay. So he's like, okay. Well, you know, hopefully climbing likes it cause climbing likes everybody. So she's like, what's up with this bitch? I don't know. You know what I mean? Clemmie's like, I just want to nap. So, um, so anyway, meanwhile, Kelsey's coming and she's explained to Billy that like now that she's in a good place with Rosie, you know, she's just kind of like, you know, make a joke about like the square footage and everything, you know, like a joke about how I was calling her out and everything. So now we can joke about it cause we're past it, right? So now here it comes. Kelsey and she drives up in her Land Rover and she has like a, like a, like a sound system on it and she starts hitting the buttons and make a go. It's like making siren noises, but it's really, really loud. And she has like the megaphone or this, the loud speaker attach and she's like, it's this, it's the house police, the square footage police or whatever. And Rosie's like, what the fuck is that? And like Clemmie's like, she's like 8,000 square feet, more like 8,000 square inches. And the dog is freaking out cause these are loud noises. And Rosie's like, what? And Kelsey is like, oh my God. And like, you know, it's like definitely like a shitty joke. But like, I also think that like Kelsey was like laughing. She's like, she's like, isn't this so funny? Cause we can laugh about this now. And Rosie's like, no, we're not, we're not at that place yet. No, no. And it just keeps going and going because Rosie doesn't really get it. She's like, what is that noise? So she comes out to look and Kelsey just keeps going. She's like, your house is tiny. I'm here. I'm the tiny house police. You're lying about the square footage. This goes on for like five minutes. Kelsey definitely thought she was having some sort of moment, like a, like when they pranked Karen Huger, you know, with the pizza or I don't know, it feels like something Heather gay might do to Lisa Barlow or who knows what. Like, or when you rose might do like, this is definitely Heather gay thing to do. Yeah. She thought she was having a funny house. Why? I'll still have some moment, but Rosie was like, no, we're, we're not quite at laughing moments yet, although I am about to shade you with these plans. But either way, we're not there yet. And she is so mad. She gets so pissed. And she's like, I live in a very nice community with a no cyber in ordinance. You can't just be like blasting sirens. So, um, uh, Kelsey's like, Hey, I just had to bust balls. And she's like, Oh God, you know, so let's, let's show her all the plan then. Okay. She goes, Oh wow. Thanks for putting that on display. She goes, yeah, well, I had to cause you drove in and you said 8,000 square feet, which was the number in February. And this is the number now. Go measure it. Do you want to measure it? Okay. You're the one who wants to measure it so bad. Why don't you just measure it? Why don't you do that? She gives her the measuring tool, you know, like this big measure and Kelsey's like, thanks. And Rose goes, I don't know what I'm, I don't know what I'm doing. And Kelsey's like, well, should we do it after the haircut? She's, I mean, if you want, we can do it now in my reign. So maybe we should do it now. And Kelsey's like, I'm good with the, I'm good. Okay. And I trust these plans. Yeah. Okay. I trust it. At this point, Kelsey said, sorry. I was, I thought I was just trying to make a joke about this, but it's not landing. Well, I didn't really mean to like this deep. And Rosie's like, so what's the issue with the square footage, by the way, because I said it was going to be 8,000 in February and now it's 5,000. Like, what's the deal? And Kelsey's like, Rosie, relax. I'm fine. She goes, I mean, what a weird thing to do. Like, honestly, I don't like that. I don't like it. And Kelsey's like, well, I thought I could joke with her. But I thought we were at a level where we could just like chill. She needs to take a pill. So Rosie's like, you already attacked my house and my character and like literally everything about me. Like Rosie, Rosie is not ready to get her haircut. She was like, you're going to fight. These are my houseplants and you were wrong. Beyond. You played the siren sound effect in my neighborhood and that's crossing the line. Rosie's like, this is such a nice neighborhood and you're like 8,000 square feet, 8,000 square feet. Kelsey's like, Rosie, it was a joke. I was showing you my police radar. I thought it was funny. I was making a joke. I was being lighthearted. Well, I don't think it's that funny actually. You know, the funny joke proves that you were not trying to move this funny joke proves that you're not trying to move forward with me. You just want to make fun of me. And now you're coming to my house and you're going to do it again. Seriously, it's fucked up. So Rosie's really on one. I'm surprised she got this piss, but she was ready to go. My God. Yeah. Kelsey's like, I thought it was funny. She's like, yeah, well, I'll show her these plans you can see for yourself. You know, ask me questions and you guys talk about my fucking back all the time. She's and she's like, instead of driving here in your ass, saying 8000 square feet, like, where the fuck is your house? Kelsey, where the fuck is yours? You know, at least I'm on the deed of this fucking house. Like, where are you? She was like, OK, you're being very aggressive. I'm being aggressive. You came in with a fucking siren. Yeah, I did it because it's funny. It's not funny. Laugh. Yes, it is. After everything you fucking done, you think this is funny. What did I do to you? What have I done to you? Bitch, I literally have done nothing to you. Are you fucking kidding me right now? I'm sorry. I called you a fucking polygamous out of picnic. OK, when you have a boyfriend fucking another girlfriend, that's polyamory. That's polygamy. Get the fuck out of my house. I'm so over you, but that's the funniest thing, which is OK. Well, I'm sorry. I called you a polygamous. I'm sorry. Called you a fucking polygamous in a picnic. What have I ever done to you, except called you a polygamous instead of polyamory? I'm sorry. This is so fucked. And that wasn't nice. And I'm so tired of it. And you said so fucking much this whole summer. Get the fuck out of my house. And she goes, OK, I will then I will. So I can stop fucking talking. Get your shit and get out of my house. Who do you think you're talking to? I think I'm talking to you and you are no one. You are literally fucking no one. You are no one. So then Kelsey like sort of sort of moves her arm to be like like move away. And then Rose, don't touch me again. Don't ever fucking touch me again. You're literally no one. Talk to me when you have a house. Talk to me when you have a husband. Talk to me when you have a fucking career. You don't have any of that. You don't have a career. Second Dick is not a fucking career, bitch. Shut the fuck up. I mean, it can be. First of all, it can be. Yeah, don't shame us. Don't shame of us. Some of those. Some of us have a career that entails that. OK, ma'am. And Clemi's just like, it's like the only thing you've ever done. Your fucking life is what a pageant. You didn't even win your fucking sugar daddy had to pay the fucking judges. So shut the fuck up and get out of my house. I want it. And Rosie goes, yeah, you want it, you want it, you want it. Get out of my house here. I'll help you. I'm so fucking done with you. So she picks up her bag of like, you know, hair tools and everything. And Rosie is like, that was so fucking real. What you just did, you come to my house and you do that. That was so fucking real. Then they're going down the stairs. Rosie's going down the staircase and Gels is like, no. And so they're both holding this like backpack, bringing it down the stairs together. I can do it myself. Like a little rolly suitcase thing. She's like, get the fuck out of my house. You're not welcoming me, are you, bitch? I'm fucking tired of you and you're fucking click. I'm tired of you. You're not welcome. So she throws her stuff outside and then she shoves past Kelsey back inside and she's like, get out of my house. And so she slams the door on Kelsey while she's trying to come in and the producers have to intervene because it's going so crazy. It's like, I'm over it. I'm just over it. And Kelsey's like, oh, you know what? I'm going back in. So she goes back in. And the producer, by the way, who just tried to stop it, is holding the door open for her like, OK. Yeah, she's like, come back in right again. Rosie, by the way, I won the pageant fair in square. I don't suck dick for a living. Actually, Kelsey, everybody in Rhode Island knows you fuck married men. Every single fucking person, you're a fucking slam pig. Don't ever fucking come for me again. You're a slam pig. Get the fuck out of my house. Do you want me to call the police? It's like, oh, you think you're all tough? You think you're all tough? And I think you're a fucking bitch is what you are. You're a bitch and nobody cares. Get out of my house, slam pig. You liar. Get out of my house. I will fuck off. You're such a fucking loser. What a bitch. Wow, Rosie came in too hot, don't you think? It's like, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. She came in really, really hot, for sure. I do think that Kelsey was trying to be funny and like Rosie was clearly prepared. They both were trying to be shady towards each other, but Rosie just was like in no mood for it. And Rosie just gathered her and was like, I mean, Rosie went to she came in too hot, but it was really funny. It was really funny. What a fun episode. It was great. It was a great fight, great little fight there between the two of them. Yeah, good times. Oh, and now I've learned what slam pig means. I never even heard of slam pig, but apparently somebody's only use for sex. Yeah, looked at it myself. Yeah, there it is. 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