Ezra Sosa: Trusting His Talent

The following podcast is a Dear Media production. Oh yeah, that's the best part. Yeah. Yeah. Wait, this is kind of fierce. Maybe it's like an Erwan pizza. Like a good ingredient. I'm like, okay, Privilege. It's a clean pizza. No, I didn't care at that point. Great. Like, full transparency. She's definitely like twerking on national television, like on Dancing with the Stars, which probably has never happened before. How's it going to be on tour without her? I'm going to miss her. I mean, I taught Convicted Felon how to dance, so that definitely came with its battles. So when they were coming for my choreography, I was like, okay, no, I can pull up. I can 100% do this. With Anna, I was eliminated first, so you didn't really get to see my choreographic ability. And then they would come up to me and they'd be like, I love your TikToks, I love your social media, which is awesome, but that's not my love. That's not my passion. It's a load of bullets, just always just stay true to who you are. I definitely feel like a lot of people in this industry tend to lose themselves over a job, lose their identity to fit a certain thing. For me, what really helped the most was just allowing space to discover myself. But once I did, really staying true to who that was. lemon drops the day has officially come Ezra Sosa is on the podcast yes cheers applause we've had him on before with Riley we did a fun Christmas episode with them a couple years back but I'm so excited that I finally got the opportunity to sit down one-on-one with Ezra and dive into all of the things. In this episode, Ezra reflects on this past season of Dancing with the Stars and how it finally gave him the opportunity to fully showcase his talent for both dance and choreography, including the story behind his freestyle dance and what that piece meant to him personally. He opens up about what it was like partnering with Olympian Jordan Childs, navigating the intense scrutiny, discord, and hate on social media, and the boundaries he's learned to set online to protect his peace. Ezra also shares how he keeps his love for dance alive despite the pressure, what mental health looks like for him while on tour, and the advice older pros gave him that stayed with him. He shares how he stayed grounded in who he is within an industry that often expects you to look, act, and dress a certain way. I cannot wait for you guys to hear this fun little app session that Ezra and I had. He is such a doll, as you all know, and this episode is super special. Hope you enjoy. Ezra, welcome back to the squeeze. I love being here. It's super fun. I love having you. Yeah, you just have the best energy. I miss you. You're just like so like warm and cozy and welcoming. Like I feel like I got the Stranger Things premiere when I saw you. Like you, there's so much going on. Like you're with Jordan. You got things going on and you're Just like taking the time to like come up and say hi. It's like, it's so sweet. And I know you do that for a lot of people. Well, you're sweet too. So I think it goes both ways. So it's easy. Yeah, it's super easy. You also look like insanely gorgeous. I can't remember what your dress was. But like, I remember seeing it was like, we're queen. Well, we start each episode off. I can't remember if we did this. Because last time you were here, we did like full on just like Christmas. It was like full festive with pajamas and like a whole party. Yeah, it was way too much fun. But we start each episode off with this jar. It's a game called Citrus Got Real. If you want to pull a little piece of paper out of there and read her to us. Okay, I'll pull this one because it's like less obvious. Do you like strategically place these? No. Strategically in the sense of I try to balance them so they don't fall, but it never really works. Oh, wait. This is hard. If you had to eat one meal every single day, what would it be? Tay Lautner, I don't know. That's so hard. like I feel like my gut would say pizza because I also feel like this is why I love pizza okay okay it's universal yeah if you go to different parts of like even our country pizza is going to be different that's why I love it when I tour with Jojo she would get pizza in every single city and that's when I was like wait this is kind of fierce like I'm eating the same thing but it's kind of different every single time yeah but I'm trying to eat healthy right now so I'm like I don't feel like that's like nutritional yeah like to eat every single day yeah but maybe it's like an air one pizza like a good good ingredient privilege it's a clean it's a clean pizza my good i was gonna say ramen that was like my yeah but don't wouldn't you feel like so bloated after i don't know i would eat ramen and be like i would feel like oh i hate it well okay let's live in a world where there's no consequences of feeling bloated, then it would be ramen. Pizza or ramen, okay. Yeah, I think I would still pick ramen. Well, I'm excited to like chat and hear about life in this past season, because it's been so fun to watch you, but also like, not that you needed to prove yourself, but I really feel like you showed a lot of people like your knowledge of dance and your ability to be an amazing pro as a partner and a choreographer. I can't tell you how many times Taylor and I have watched the freestyle. Literally, I watched it and I was like, I had chills. Actually, it was so good. Even the actual ballroom styles of dance. I feel like you just did such a good job. Not that I was thinking you weren't going to do one, But, you know, it was your first time really getting to like dive into that. I love that you said that, too, because like that was 100 percent my mindset going into this season. Yeah. Because I knew I overheard through like other producers or casting like you will be getting a good partner this season so we can really see what you can do. Yeah. Not like like with Anna, I was eliminated first. You didn't really get to see like my choreographic ability. You didn't really get to see her progression like as a dancer. so I definitely feel like going into this season especially when I was like on tour like I just you know we're about to go into tour just came back from yeah I'm doing another tour like so many tours I'm like oh my god but like when you're out on the road I would be like next to Dani yeah and everyone would compliment her dance ability her choreography whatever and then they would come up to me and they'd be like I love your TikToks I love your social media which is like awesome yeah but that's not my love like that's not my passion so like going into this past season that just happened with Jordan. That was like a hundred percent my mindset. Like I was trying to prove myself, not just to like my peers, but to everyone back at home because everyone just knew me for my personality, but not really for my ability to dance, which is kind of wild. Wow. Oh, I love hearing that. Yeah. I can imagine that could be like, not frustrating, but like you're, there's so much more to you than just like your ability to just TikToks and stuff. Yeah. And how cool you had Jordan, who's someone that is like such a competitor and is so just like. Oh, she locked in. Locked in. She? Since day one, she locked in. And I was like, oh, this is, I'm going to like be putting the work in with Jordan. Yeah. Was there a moment where you like realized that, did you just know that she was going to be serious about it because she is an Olympian? Or was there a moment where you were like, oh, like. Yeah. I feel like when I first met her, I wasn't expecting her to be so like, I didn't really know much about her prior to the season. I knew her story. I knew her at the Olympics, but I didn't really know much about like her as a person because I have never met her before. Yeah. But she was a lot more bubbly than I remember. But I, I like when I found out she was my partner, my head was like, oh, we're taking this so serious. But like, yeah, one thing about Jordan is, yeah, she'll lock in. And she puts in the work. But she emphasizes always having a good time and always having good energy and good vibes. And the weeks that we struggled the most were the weeks where we weren't enjoying the process. We were really hard on ourselves. So she really was the best at bringing out my best self and making sure that I felt 100%. Because then it went both ways. Yeah, that's so good. Is there like, can you pick, okay, maybe aside from your freestyle, out is there a favorite dance that you did before the finale the the ones that i did enjoy i love doing our jive okay like i don't think i ever got full body chills doing a dance before oh wow like when she jumped over my shoulders and then we do like that turning sequence after yeah just like full body chills was the first time i ever experienced that yeah like ever in a dance and it was just like hearing the audience like we did something super cool yeah and i'll never forget that but i also feel like a rumba was one that what week was that that was for wicked okay yeah yeah like we we closed the show but i loved that dance because the journey to get to that dance was probably like our hardest but the way that we kind of overcame going about that rumba and how it like fully developed on the ballroom floor was like truly magical yeah um when what did when did the idea for the freestyle come like i want to hear like what your process was it came when normani came to the show okay so normani came to the show um to watch lauren okay because she did um like her fifth harmony song yeah yeah slay like and normani was there and so she talked to us after and i didn't know that normani and jordan were friends but they were kicking and like i love normani like i love this diva i love her so much and so when she was talking to jordan she was like she was confident we're making the finale but like obviously like when you're in it you just don't know what's gonna happen yeah and she was like when you guys make the finale like I want to be in your freestyle and I was like oh so I we have to make the finale like we have to make it and so I that was like that was like the first piece to our freestyle that I knew like okay yeah Normani is gonna be in it okay so Normani like yes like Normani and Jordan are friends but like Normani wasn't a part of her journey on the show so I was like choreographically it was gonna be really hard for me to put her in it yeah in a way that made sense for it so like crazy but then it came down to like a couple weeks before the finale when they're like producers are sitting down with us and being like okay we need like ideas we need to like start going about it yeah and then from there just like I had to find songs that fit Jordan's yeah story yeah and I kind of sat with her and like we had a couple of options and I was just like playing it for her and then we ultimately picked Bow Down and Motivation. Yeah. Because like Normani was in it and Bow Down because Jordan loves it. She loves Beyonce. Yeah. She loves repping Houston. Like there are so many things about that song when we were listening to it. We're like, oh my gosh, like this is the perfect song. This is it. And then from there, it was just kind of like formatting it and then staging it. Yeah. Whatever. Yeah. Oh my gosh. It was so good. And it's been obviously so fun to like watch people like recreate it on TikTok. Oh yeah. That's the best part. That's so cool. Like I just taught at a dance convention this last weekend with Riley and people were coming up to me like just doing it. And like there's, that's like such a surreal experience. Like that's so weird. It's like, wow. Like I spent the past like couple of weeks just doing that. And now you're like, you're a random person and you're doing it in front of me. It's like really cool. Yeah. Were you nervous at all how the judges were going to like the freestyle? No, I didn't care at that point. Great. Like full transparency. Yeah. Yeah, I feel like going into the finale, at this point, it wasn't about getting a good score to me. I feel like there's certain weeks on the show where it's like, yeah, you want to get a good score, but certain weeks where it's like it doesn't really matter. Yeah. And for me, like doing that freestyle, I'm like, no, like there was a part of me that was like, okay, like she's definitely like twerking on national television. like on Dancing with the Stars, which probably has never happened before. Like I was like sitting myself with this, but I'm like, it's her. It's like, it's, it's exactly who she is. And like, we went out and I saw her like dancing when we went out and I was like, okay, this is our freestyle. I was like, can you remember this please? Cause like, I really like, like you need to do this. Like you have to do this. But like, ultimately, like when it comes to the freestyle, I don't think the judges opinions matter and people at home's opinions matter. It's just simply about taking who you have and just making them shine no matter what. Yeah. I was, I got like a little nervous when Carrie Ann was like starting to like talk. And I was like, what is she about to say right now? And then I was like, oh no. And then she said it was the best one. And I was like, oh my gosh, thank God. Like, you know how she does like her little thing before she starts talking. And I was like, oh no. And then she didn't. I was like, yeah, it's always like two, like she'll start with like a compliment. And then you're like, okay, it's either going to go. okay wait she loves it okay great yeah or the pasta like i really thought she was gonna like her pasta and then she was like complimenting us and then she said that like she was too strong and i was like ah i was like oh dang it that's so funny yeah lately my life has felt like a constant juggling act between work social plans travel trying to move my body and still show up for myself there are so many days where my own health ends up taking a back seat. I'll look up and realize I've been running around all day answering emails, hopping from one thing to the next, and haven't actually fueled myself in the way that feels good. And that's exactly where Premier Protein comes in for me. On those busy days when I need something quick, convenient, and actually satisfying, Premier Protein has become my go-to. It's the kind of thing that I can grab without slowing down, but still feel good after choosing. 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Tempomeals.com slash squeeze rules and restrictions may apply how how has it been this season because I feel like there's there was some stuff you kind of there was some discourse on the internet at times always during the season yeah that was like a reoccurring theme this season yeah how how was that for you was that the first time you'd really like personally dealt with that I mean I taught convicted felon how to dance so that definitely came with its battles like for sure but I definitely feel like it was the heaviest it was for me yeah because when I because I definitely feel like at some point every single pro yeah had a little something yeah and like it was very evident because it was something that we were all talking about behind the scenes okay and um I feel like the most heat that I got for it was after our week one like we did our salsa and people like that's not a salsa Ezra can't choreograph whatever yeah and yeah that was really hard for me to deal with but I definitely feel like the thing that got me over it and am I will I ever be 100% over that aspect no because it's like it's multi-layered it's really complex but the thing that really helps me be at ease with it was knowing that being in the position that like we're in we're in the public eye you are accepting those opinions you are allowing that to happen in your life yeah and so the moment I kind of had to be like not like this is gonna happen but no matter what I do it will happen so that gave me ease but also like they're coming for my choreography and I was like sis yeah I can change my choreography yeah like I that that's super easy that's not something like I'm um that's not something I'm insecure about like I'm really confident in my work and what I do so when they were coming for like my choreography I was like okay no like I can pull up like I can 100% do this yeah I know that was definitely something because obviously like during the season my entire like for you page is just all dancing with the stars right everything that's naturally that's just what my feed ends up being but I definitely do feel like there there was just a it was just I feel like this season really obviously it was each week it was the most amount of votes the most amounts amount of votes Like the views were going up, whatever. It started getting boring. They were like, this week, the most amount of votes were like, I'm like, should we be expecting it every week? I think there was one week they didn't say it and all of us were like, we got so excited about it. That's so funny. But I do feel like, I just felt like I was seeing a lot of it online and it bounced from like, it really just bounced from like one couple to another. of either it was like the pro was catching heat or the summer was catching the heat. It really sucked. That part really did suck. Yeah. I feel like experience, it sucks, but seeing other people go through it sucks even more. Yeah. Especially the celebrities. Yeah. It is such a vulnerable experience, like really. And so the moment I felt like, oh, dang, like this is going to be a thing was after week one, because usually on the show after week one, like everyone usually gets a confidence boost. Yeah. Like no one gets sent home. Everyone gets like, I always feel like their participation trophy. Yeah. And so like usually like when we come back after week one, vibes are great. Like everyone feels really confident. Yeah. This season was like after week one, it was, it just was sad. Like everyone didn't feel confident because now that the show has more opinions, more eyes, everyone wants to say their opinion. Yeah. So yeah, it was, it's, that part was really sad to see for sure. Yeah. Was it ever something that you and Jordan, did you guys have a conversation about stuff that was going on online? Or was she just, I mean, she's obviously been in the public eye for so long. Like, is she able to block it out or what did you guys kind of have to talk about it? She is headstrong when it comes to that kind of stuff. Yeah. But there was a week where I, like, picked her up during elimination after we made it. And then she was like, she just said, put me down. Which I'm like, queen, you know your boundaries. But I also thought it was, like, funny. Yeah. People saw as her being like a diva or a brat and then it started turning into something that like that I was like I was personally really mad at. Yeah. I didn't want to say anything because like I didn't know how she felt about it. Yeah. But I just remember that day going in the studio and that was the first time I ever saw her down. And then we talked about it and she talked about how it really affected her. And I was like, I was like, the fact that you are, you are being put down over something that you were completely innocent of. Like you had no ill intent with whatever happened during that moment. Yeah. Is like, it pissed me off so much. And that was probably the first time I was like vocal about any online hate. Yeah. Have you had to learn to kind of set boundaries with social media after this season? Oh, after last season. Okay. After I came back from tour was the first time I was like, this is getting a lot for me. Okay. But I'm really glad I did. Right before this season, I took a whole month off of like posting on social media. I had like brand deals that whole month. I like canceled all of them. I'm like, I'm sorry, my team. Like I was literally like, I just need to stop. Yeah. Just because it's like, that's when social media starts feeling like a job. Yeah. And like last season when I started with like Anna, like all of it was just like stupid. Like for me, I was like, oh my gosh, this is a gag, whatever. But then it gets to a point where it's like, and I found myself getting this way where it's like I was getting addicted to like the views and the likes and staying relevant and all that kind of stuff. And I feel like because of that, it took me away from what I actually love to do, which is like dance and choreography. And that was like my passion. That's my love. And so after tour, that's when I was like I felt the most disconnected from what I love to do, but the most connected to the thing that was like super addicting to me, not good for my mental health at all. And so that month where I was doing absolutely nothing and just training, dancing, went on a vacay was like that was such a healing month for me because it really brought me back to like why I do what I do. Yeah. Which was I think was really important that I did before the season started. Yeah, that's so good. A question I love asking pros when I have them on is how have you been able to keep your relationship like your love for dance still alive and thriving? because I imagine like it gets to a point where, not gets to a point, but it could be a little hard to still love the thing you do when you're like dancing 24-7. Like it is your job. And when your passion becomes your job, like I imagine that it could be a little hard to still like have that love. Yeah, I definitely feel like the thing about the show that I love the most is that every single week is different. Yeah. Nothing feels routine or repetitive, which to me when I'm on tour, my love for dance goes away because I'm doing the same thing every single day. Yeah. But I definitely feel like on tour the thing that keeps it alive is the people that come and watch and support us. Like that to me is like a sole reason to like to keep pushing and going on tour. Yeah. But like after tour I was like I do not want to dance. Yeah. Like in my head I'm like I do not want to dance like at all. Yeah. But when you're on the show the thing that really helps keep it alive is the creatives every single week. Yeah. Like getting to choose your music, your song choice. Then you're like having like – I remember the week where I really enjoyed with Anna. It was our second week. I mean that was the week we got eliminated. Yeah. But that's when I was like, okay, like I need to get her to perform. That's when I'm like in the studio like trying to choreograph something that can like bring out her personality. But that's the part that I love and that part fuels me so much. Yeah. And I don't think I realized that until I had the chance with Jordan to go even further. Yeah. And then I'm like every week I was like even struggling I would get in the studio. I create but then I feel like really yeah I feel full so yeah how you're I feel like your guys's tour every time they're like we added more dates I'm like oh no like obviously I'm excited for you guys but then I'm like it's already so long and you guys like looking at the thing like there are so many shows how do you like even try to remotely prioritize your like mental health or like having some sanity. I love that you're bringing this up because this last tour, I definitely feel like I personally didn't do a good job on my mental health on the road. The thing that's really hard, and I think this is what I'm bringing it back to, is we're touring in the winter, which is like there's no sun. Yeah. And so the first month of tour for me was really hard because that's when we were in like the East Coast in the winter in January. And like some cities like we're snowed out we had to cancel the show yeah but the moment we got to Florida I was outside for like ever and I felt so much better yeah but I definitely feel like what helps and what like and my brightest moments on tour were the moments where I had routine every single day but when I got depressed I would just like be in bed and then I would just get up perform and then go back to sleep and like that's when it feels like monotonous but then I'm like I have to like understand and like sit with myself being in these cities there is an opportunity to be in this these cities yeah like you can explore and go out you can go to a different gym you can go to this coffee shop but I'm just choosing to like be in bed all day until I perform yeah and I'm just like I like it's just I think it's just a mind like it's a mindset yeah but going into this next tour I'm like really prioritizing like my tour routine and then that I'm I'm actually like doing it now yeah so that when I get out on the road, nothing about my life changes and I can just like keep pushing if that makes sense. Yeah, that's, that's really good to know. And I feel like sometimes we we don want a routine Like I feel like sometimes it like Oh like this is like so monotonous like doing the same thing over and over again But our bodies are like really like are meant to and thrive off of the routine So especially when you when your little routine can be the same and your schedule is like what it is of like touring and just like such like high body exertion and all of this like energy, like having the little same thing that you can do every day is so important like what are some like things in your routine that you currently it's running wow yes which I never thought I would be a runner like at all like a running girl I hate I did not yeah no that's me too but I actually love running oh wow and I just love running with like people so like last week I went on a run with Joey okay I usually do a run club with like Sochi we'll just like go out and runs like every week um that to me is really important staying active like either if it's like I do my PT for the day. Yeah, I mean, that's really big. Also, like I have to get out of my apartment at least once in my day. Yeah. Especially this last week where it was like I had three days where I was just kind of like bedrock and I was like, I have to get out and like just like be active. Yeah. But I think besides dance, like I have to make sure I'm active in my day and I do something outside of my day where I'm like interacting with like other people. Yeah. I think it's really important. Yeah. That's something that's very common in performers. in this entertainment industry. And we see it a lot with musicians when they come off a tour, but we don't really ever talk about the dancers on the tour, but also Dancing with the Stars, it's the same thing. You were on this like schedule of a few months of just like go, go, go every single day, highs, highs, you're on, you're doing everything and everything all at once. How was that come down for you? Terrible, every single time, it sucks. And I feel like it just gets harder. I don't know. It's really interesting because you're really questioning your relationship to yourself as opposed to your relationship to your job. Yeah. And then that's when you're sitting with yourself being like, wow, I really put so much of my worth into my career, which is really hard to balance that to your actual self-worth. yeah but I definitely feel like why I struggle with it so hard is because I definitely feel like growing up at a dance studio and out of school like you have a routine every single day yeah so when you have that routine and it's something you're passionate about something it's cool and you're like thriving off of it yeah yes like you're gonna want to continue to do that but once it's done it's like yeah it's like your mind I just like I feel like your body goes into like fight or flight and like doesn't know what to do yeah i like even after gma i was like in bed and like really trying to sleep but i just couldn't because like my body just felt like it needed to do something yeah so it's really hard i don't feel like i've mastered it but once i have i'll hit you up yeah you'll let me know you'll be the first no well i feel like there's also just a component of that that really like we can't control ourselves because like i even feel this way even And like the smallest thing of like, we'll be at like a, I don't even know, like a football game. Like we, you know, Taylor loves sports. So we'll be at a football game. I love sports too. But, and like, it'll be like a really close, like high adrenaline, like game. We're big, like Detroit fans. So the team, we always go to games and like, I feel like sometimes getting into bed, like my adrenaline is still like through the roof. And like, I literally didn't do anything. I just watched a game. Like, so like the fact that you guys do, you know, you've done all of these weeks of a show and then you fly straight to GMA, you do a GMA and then you're expected to just like go to like, like, how do you sleep? Like, how do you turn your brain off? You don't. Like, I think after GMA, I was like doom scrolling. I think I watched every single Dancing with the Stars TikTok from the season. I was just like up watching everything. Yeah. Also, I feel like a part of me just didn't want to let it go. You know, so I was just like, I don't want this to end. So I was just like, yeah, my last for all. Like on my 4U page, just like seeing everything. But I kid you not, after that day, the next day my 4U page was like minimal dancing with the stars. Because I kid you not, I think in that night I went through like every single video. I'm not kidding you. Yeah. How long do you think it took for you to kind of like get out of that funk after? You're like, I don't know. I'm still in it. No. High key is still in it. But no, I definitely feel like what got me out of the funk was me changing my mindset about tour. And it gave me something to look forward to. Yeah. Because I was like, I really want to go on tour, but I want to thrive on tour, which is something that I'm not the best at tour. You can ask all my friends. I do not thrive on tour. But I'm like, this season, I want to thrive on tour. But once I realized that, I was like, okay, we can start working to the next thing. Yeah, I love that. 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Explore the new Peloton Cross-Draining Tread Plus at OnePeloton.com. During the season of the show, is there any way to keep any form of routine or prioritizing mental health? Yeah, I definitely feel like you just have to make time for it. But the thing that's really hard about, especially a pro on the show, your schedule fully revolves around your celebrity. So that's why it's like hard to plan anything in advance. Yeah. Because some days, I mean, like literally some weeks, I think it was our, do you ever see like your Tina Turner dance? Yes. We. I saw that. She learned that in two hours. Oh, good. And then she couldn't rehearse the rest of the week. and then we had like a couple more hours on our Sunday for camera block and then camera block. Oh, wow. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Was this when she was like gone? She was like out of town or something? Yes, I remember. I remember like left came back. Yeah, I think I remember then she didn't come back. I can't remember. I feel like I remember during the season. She was not in L.A. She was like in another state. I can't remember what it was. And I was like, I was like, wait, me. I'm like tweaking so yeah my mental health isn't good then because i'm like we need to rehearse but like um yeah really teach you um she really taught me patience yeah and like to really trust her in the process yeah because there are some days where it's like we don't like oh my gosh our freestyle bruh she so she learned that in increments every day because we had a we had like no time to practice for the finale week because she was like double booked she had to like shoot this other campaign like this girl is busy she's in college like yeah there's so many things about her life that keep her busy yeah so like I had to like strategically teach her like like 10 minutes every single day like a new section of the freestyle and then finally the day before like we had her big rehearsal like on stage with everyone yeah I just sent her a video of her whole track and I said I would love if you knew this all by tomorrow and then she did she she learned it all she literally learned the whole thing and then we just plugged her in you just send it to her and you're like yeah but i also know i also learned with jordan how visual she is yeah and so like once you know that be like i can send her a video and like that goes a long way was there any advice that other pros gave you or did you go to anyone for advice during this season so this is my like first full season yeah every single pro was like in the corner which was like it makes it that much more better yeah I'm also like I can get competitive yeah but I'm not the person that's like I need a win like I need a mirror ball like I I'm I recognize and understand that my job is to give my partner the best experience ever ever yeah whether or not we get a mirror ball or not yeah okay like that to me is like my agenda yeah but I definitely feel like with that I really allowed opinion from other pros where I just was like I just want to be my best for my partner yeah and so I definitely feel like people who did help a lot were like Whitney Carson like okay I definitely love her mindset going into a season yeah also Brit helps out so so much like I definitely feel like in my lowest she was there to like make me feel stronger but Riley was a huge one for me she was really huge like a good friend to talk to make me feel normal make me feel like I was like doing a good job and she always was reminding me that I was because like I feel like you know sometimes you just need to hear that yeah and she was always that friend for me oh that's so special I know I love her um wait also there was a lot of new faces in your freestyle like dancers people I hadn't seen before yeah how does that happen are they just they are did production just give you yeah I mean I wanted my sister in my freestyle style so i like i asked if i can bring out outside people if i can like request and they're like no so that was fully like okay i know i was wondering because it was only was it only brit and riley that were pros yeah like people and then everyone else was was like outside okay but i told i even told production like they're like what's the style of your freestyle because i can see like they're trying to see who can do it yeah and i was like realistically only like i I could think of a handful of pros that could actually pull that particular dance off. Like you're literally throwing it back like on the ballroom floor. Yeah. So I like sat with production. I was like, I don't feel like, I feel like majority of this has to be outside dancers just because of the style and because the style isn't really done on the show often. So it needs to be done like a certain way. Yeah. I know. I was pointing out to Taylor and he was like oh like he I told him I was like I wonder if that was something that was talked about because it not like a typical what everyone is trained in No absolutely And it's not like I didn't want you guys to be in it. I love you guys. I just, I personally feel like you guys wouldn't have wanted to do it anyway. So I just didn't want to. It is great. Well, Riley had like the quickest quick change, I feel like. Oh my gosh, yes. From Whitney's to mine. Yeah, yeah. I remember that. I was like, oh, and her freaking blonde hair, she's throwing it back. I just is like my literal favorite thing. No, she ate it up. She ate it up. I'm so happy she was in it because I was in her first freestyle. Yeah. So I was like, yeah, it was like stupid. That was so stupid. I was like, really? I was in your first freestyle and you're in mine. Like we both just had like a tender moment. Like we're like, oh, this is so cute. No, you have. I feel like you have to have those moments, though. like you have to like even if it's like a little a little something like you really have to those are big moments those are big moments even though even though it's just like you know you're in a dance you're in every day you know yeah but it's really sweet that you guys have each other and you're able to like do that how's it gonna be on tour without her i'm gonna miss her no i'm gonna miss her because when she left on tour last year that sucked for me because she was my she was my diva but i also like yeah i don't know yeah i love i love the whole cast yeah i love him so much but like riley's my best friend yeah like that's what so it's like yeah it's gonna be interesting but also it's gonna allow me to be closer to everyone else yeah um so i'm looking forward to that yeah and you have your little like routine in place that you're gonna carry on yeah throughout the tour just like thrive and it's It's going to be great. Yeah. Something that you mentioned to me before, and I don't know if you've talked about it, so I'm going to let you just like take it away and share. But you mentioned being a queer performer, that there are days where you feel more masculine. Oh, yeah. More feminine. I love this question. How has that been for you, trying to figure out like honoring both sides in a way? It's the easiest thing. Yeah. I feel like the moment I figured myself out and I figured out the, like, the styles that we have to dance to, particularly on Dancing with the Stars, it's just easy. But also, like, I'll only femme it up or – and I hate the fact that I say that – or, like, be, like, really masculine if it calls for it. Yeah. If it calls for the creative. So, like, I really – and I, like, I kind of, like, fell off with this idea. But, like, the first, like, couple weeks on the show, I was committed to, like, a character. Yeah. So when it came to like our anxiety routine, like our tango, the whole day I was like with Jordan, like this whole episode, I am going to be your anxiety until we dance. Up until we dance, then I'll be myself. Yeah. But like I really tried my best to like play a role this season as opposed to like be myself on the ballroom floor. Yeah. So I feel like it just if the creative called for it, then I'll do it. But I just wanted to be a vessel to what she wanted to do. Yeah. No, I feel like you did a really good job because I think you're right. there is certain dance roles where like the male lead is supposed to be like the strong like masculine and like you do a very good job at like being those types of characters and then like you know the fun dances you like add your little wave or your wink like you know i enjoy those a little bit more yeah the only the only time i like completely disregarded like this the style was our pasta doble and it was because i was selfish and that so selfishly that was my dance yeah breaking dishes was my dance because i just wanted to do i just wanted to do that song so bad and then i was just like with jordan's like i'm so sorry like this dance could flop but i just i just personally want to do this yeah that was probably like the most like that was the most like against like the creative or against what jordan wanted to do because i just really just wanted to have fun yeah in this entertainment industry especially as a dancer I feel like it's very you are taking on like a lot of roles as we talked about but it's also I feel like an industry where you're kind of told to like act a certain way be a certain way how do you like keep your identity in that oh wow um I definitely feel there's a fine balance of like being a good person to work for and also like having your personality yeah I definitely feel like um I guess like it's a load of bullets just like always just stay true to who you are but also I feel like morals are really big too like I definitely feel like a lot of people in this industry they tend to lose themselves over a job or like lose their identity to fit a certain thing. Yeah. But I definitely feel like for me, what really helped the most was just like allowing space to discover myself. Yeah. But once I did really staying true to who that was. Yeah. I love that. Is there like, I mean, you can say that you're in your dream job, but is there something like career wise one day you hope to do that you haven't done that you dream of doing that would be cool? Oh, gosh. You're like everything, everything and nothing. Everything and nothing and more. I don't know. I feel like doing the coolest thing about Dancing with the Stars is the opportunity that it brings. Yeah. I think that to me is the cherry on top. I love doing it. But like the fact like I don't I never expected to gain like a following because this massive following because the show or any of this kind of stuff. Yeah. So that to me is like a cherry on top. But I definitely feel like any opportunity that comes outside of the show like I will 100% go for. I'm like such an open person, but also like I love anything artistically, whether it be singing, acting, dancing, performing, like all those things I'm passionate about. I'm not a person that's like I have a specific dream because I am living my dream. I'm a person that's like if it works for me and it's like I'm passionate about it, I will 100% go for it. Yeah. I feel like what's fun about you and what I love about you, and I think everyone can kind of see it because you are so authentically yourself, is like you – I feel like there's a fine line, especially with dance or even just entertainment, getting a job, and then like you expect – you kind of like are expecting of things. I feel like you are the perfect combination of being confident in yourself and like knowing that you are a good dancer and that you are like you're good enough to be in these spaces but also you don't expect it expecting this that and the other like you're just like I'm here and I'm grateful to be here and I'm gonna do my job and yeah be nice I also feel like when you expect something it doesn't happen yeah and I definitely feel like growing up as a kid when I would expect things and I never I can't believe I'm like referring to like a kid that's crazy like when you're a child and you're like expecting things and they don't come your way like you get really let down yeah and I feel like just ever since I was a kid I like quickly changed that mindset to being like I deserve things no things come to me yeah because of the energy I put out and I definitely feel like I 100% live by that yeah I love that um I would love to know what you're most proud of yourself for oh wow I'm I'm really proud of myself like this season I'm so proud of myself I think the biggest thing I'm most proud of is my patience and my willingness to learn this past season I definitely feel like if it wasn't for those two things it wouldn't have been what it was yeah but I love the thing that I love most about myself is how open my heart is and how open I am to criticism to other personalities to crazy ideas like that's just the type of person I am like I will always see anything through and that's something that I'm really proud of okay lemon seven seven questions you can answer them rapid fire or if you like want to tell a story you just do whatever your heart desires um number one is what movie or song title best describes your mental health today i would say inception okay because of um because whenever i leave a huge project i go into like existential crisis of like was that real did I experience that and then I'll be dreaming of it. Yeah. That's that's my mental. Yeah. Number two is how open are you with people in life when struggling? Very open. Yeah. I love I definitely feel like it's a part of the human experience to hear other people's experiences. Yeah. Because I definitely feel like we're stronger as a community and we're strong. We're stronger when we're allowing others people's thoughts, opinions to like enter your own life, even if you don't agree with it yeah even if it's something that you because i've heard a lot of things from this past season that i definitely like shouldn't have heard yeah but a part of me i'm glad it is glad i heard it yeah yeah um number three is if you could only follow three social media accounts what would they be i'd follow riley okay because i just i feel like every single time i see her face i just feel better yeah she's like that person like yeah riley i just like even on the show we'll be like super tense and I'll see her like I love you um okay Riley um probably like Jay Shetty right yeah yeah because it's like motivational like I'll feel super confident and then probably like Jennifer Coolidge that's good like a hundred percent yeah like does she post not enough I don't know not enough um number four is what is your favorite form of self-care favorite form of self-care is self-expression. Yeah. How do you do that outside of dance? Outside of dance? Like outside of dancing. How can you? How can I express myself outside of dancing? I don't like through art. I like to me, what makes me feel better, and I kid you not, whenever I'm in a funk, I'll literally just play music and dance in my kitchen. Yeah. And that's how I've always been as a kid. Yeah. So like that to me is the best therapy that I have discovered for myself. I hear what you're saying. Um, number five is what is the most misunderstood thing about you? I think people don't, I actually don't know. I don't know. Most misunderstood thing about myself. Um, I feel like a lot of people misunderstood how actually, how smart I actually am. I am actually pretty smart. I may, I may not know how to read a book. I may not know how to read a book, but I definitely feel like, um, and a lot of people have like a lot of people I looked up to would tell me like how smart I was. And I literally was like, am I really that smart? Like, I don't feel like I'm smart, but it really took me a long time to understand like what I'm like, what I'm actually smart at. And it's like, I'm really good with other people's energies. I'm really good at getting personality out of other people. Yeah. Really good at choreography dance. Really good at like surprisingly really good at PR. I'm like, not many people can like go unscathed from dancing with a convicted felon. Like, yeah, I mean, I did definitely feel the burn a little bit, but whatever. Yeah. But I definitely feel like when it comes to those scenarios, like I don't feel like people underestimate my ability to like get through. Yeah. And like really make the most out of any situation. Yeah. I agree with that. I think you have a very good sense of like I think they put you with Anna because they knew that you could like you are smart enough to handle that. To like pivot. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Looking back, I was like, yo, you're a genius. I was like, wait, what? Because like what was that? Like that's crazy. Okay. Number six is who has had the most positive impact on your mental health? I would say my mom. Yeah, for many reasons. My relationship with my mom has varied throughout my whole life. But I think the thing that really makes me look up to her in so many ways is her ability to change as a person. Even when I first came out, she was super against it. But seeing her really see her love for me, her son, and really put aside her belief system and completely dropping it to fully accept me and to fully see me thrive. I think it's super powerful. And because of that really opened my eyes to really like how I want to live my life. And I just see the type of person she is now. She's super happy, super vibrant. And I just definitely think the only thing that changed was like her mindset. Yeah, that's sweet. Okay, number seven is if you could go back to one moment in your life, what moment would that be? And what would you say to yourself? If I could go back to a moment in my life, It would probably be when I got eliminated with Anna. Okay. And I would just tell myself that this is just the beginning. Yeah. Because I feel like in the moment, it felt like the end. And I felt like that was my journey on the show. I didn't think I was going to be asked back after that. Yeah. There were so many like variables that like I was on the fence about that I had no idea what was going to happen. Yeah. But if I were to tell myself in that moment is like, no, this is just the beginning. Just stay true to who you are. Yeah. You'll be okay. I love that. Well, I adore you. Thanks for coming and chatting. This is always good. I love getting to just like watch you live your life. And you're such a light. I know we talked a lot about Riley being a light, but you are definitely a light to people. Thank you. And you bring such good energy. So have fun on tour. Thanks. Go see the Dancing with the Stars tour. We'll link it. Yeah. And we'll bring her up on stage again. That was fun. Thank you.