Amerie

This is an I Heart podcast. Guaranteed human. R&B money! Money! We are. Tank. Jake Valentine. We are. The authorities. On all things R&B. Ladies and gentlemen, my name is Tank. I'm Jay Valentine. And this is the R&B Money podcast. Come on, come on, tell them who it is. The authority! Ha ha ha ha, yay. On all things R&B. What? It's this one thing. One thing. Ha ha, and it's R&B. A whole bunch of it. Legs, walking down the street. Huh. On stage. Mean. Dazzling. Yeah. Stepping. Rest. Legging. Please have rest. Dancing. Signing in. Hair going every way. Yeah, every way. Good. Great hair. Great body of hair. Awesome face. You guys, this is very special episode. This is the homie and she is absolutely an awesome human being. R&B Money podcast. People all over the world. Hey Marie! Yeah! Hey! I made it, I made it. This means I made it. You made it. This means I made it. I've been knowing you a long time. A long time. Not that long. Yes. Absolutely. We were on tour together in 2002. Why are you aging me? No, no, I'm the old guy here. It was 2002. You were a baby. You were a baby. We were looking after you. You were just a little baby. We were trying to make sure you had your milk in there. In my cookies. In your toys. How are you? How are you doing? I'm really great. You look great. Thank you. You look great. And we've seen you more over the years lately than we have, you know what I mean? And just in your presence. I'm out of set. That's how you got to pop out. Yeah, poppin' out. I see your sister more than you, but now I get to see you. Everybody sees the edge of the world. Your energy is just great. Thank you. What do you attribute that to? Is that just you? Is that just always been you? Just happy and just speeded? I am a happy person, I think. I gotta feel on the spot, because it's like, why are you looking so serious? I'm really not an answer. No, literally, I'm like, are you feeling? Are you a happy person? He's like... Either. That's the listening face. That's actually listening. You're taking this in? I'm paying attention. I'm present. Okay, present, yes. Okay, it's like what people would be talking about. You sound so healed. I don't like that term though. A negatriant. I am just generally a happy person. It doesn't mean I don't go through, I guess, what everybody goes through things, but I think my general mindset is that everything that happens is for your benefit, for your good. Whatever it is, however wonderful, however a person may deem it terrible on its face, I do think that it's whatever happens. It's like, thank you, God, thank you. This is a lesson, or this is supposed to teach me something. So if you look at life that way, then if you look at life like everything that happens is for your benefit somehow, then it's all good. So I... It's a very positive way of thinking. Yeah, absolutely. I mean, it's the part for the course thing. Stubb, you tell like, I wasn't supposed to wear any shoes. Yeah, or you stub your toe now because it's bringing you some attention to something. Or slowing you down. Even if you slow down on your day, like a millisecond, right? It gets you in the car that much sooner or later, I should say, right? And so everything is orchestrated. So everything that happens is kind of like, oh, well, you know. There's a purpose. There's a purpose, I believe. I agree. There's been a resurgence of you. There's been more of you, for sure, lately. You know, I'm me. So it's hard to tell. It's hard to look at myself from outside. Okay, so I guess I'm telling you. Okay. And just in terms of like who you are, what you bring to this, what's missing from this, you know what I mean? It's like you're a thing where people are like, as good as it felt then, it still feels that good now, if not better. Oh, thank you. How does that make you feel? You've done really well at preserving. Ah, come on, that's a... No, seriously. That's a... Like because certain things, people's voice, their looks, they are they in shape to do what they did. You know what I mean? All those things that it's like seeing you now feels like seeing you then. It doesn't feel like a, to me, it doesn't feel like a drop off. Okay. When I see it, I'm like, oh no, she's still cooking. Yeah. You know what I mean? When you popped out at the BET, you remember I hit you. I'm like, yo, you're going crazy. You were so nice. He was crazy. Because you were so sweet, because you recorded it. He was like a proud like bro. He was like, he was recording from the sides. And when he sent me the footage, it was from the phone, from the audience. And I was like, oh, you care for me here. We were in the back, we were stuck. You know, because once they start recording, you can't come in, but we were just watching. And it was like, it was me, my wife, and I don't want to mess up her name, the Olympian gymnast, not Simone Biles. Oh, the young girl. Yeah. I can't think of her name either. They wrongfully took her name. Yeah, I know exactly what you're talking about. I want to be able to say her name. I think she might be in Blasian too. Yes. Yeah, I can't think of her name though. Jordan Childs. Jordan Childs. So it's me, me, my wife, and Jordan Childs, and just a bunch of people. And we're all back there, and we're just taking it all in. Because it's all like nostalgic and all great. And then you come on, and we're dancing. We're having a time. My wife was like, she look good. She killing it. She's like, I know she is. She's like, Jordan is there, and she dancing. She's like, you don't even know nothing about this. But you can do whatever you want. And that was the effect that you had on me, almost 50-year-old, and Jordan Childs, who's. Probably 22. Yes, maybe. You know what I'm saying? That's the effect that you are having in 2025, 26. Well, I mean, it's really humbling. You know what I mean? It's really humbling. Because music is something like to be able to, to be able to be a part of anyone's life, like to provide any bit of the soundtrack to a person's life and their experiences. Like, that means a lot. Definitely to trying to figure out how to phrase this. Like, after any long period of time to still be able to have that effect, it's humbling. I feel like that's the only word. And you really, I think, realize as an artist like how big that is later. Because that's something I really realized earlier on, like in my career. It didn't, like, people would say, oh my goodness, this song helped me through this, it's helped me through that. But it's different when it's like someone can tell you how this helped me through this thing back then. Or like, it got me through this over time. And you realize how what you do, even though it's like art, and it doesn't seem sometimes really important, how it does make a difference. Because as an artist, it's really easy to look at things and say, oh, there's so much stuff going on in the world. I'm not curing cancer, I'm not doing this, I'm not doing that. Like, what am I really doing? But then you see the importance in that connection. Yeah, I think people have always, especially with artists, they've always looked at things from the numbers. Right? That's kind of how we quantify impact with numbers. And then you meet somebody. You're having a very serious moment right now. I have this inappropriate laughter thing, like syndrome thing. So just ignore it. I'm smiling at you. Well, I know your ass. Yes, I get it. You're so serious. And I'm like, gotta be serious. And that said it all. Sorry, sorry, I'm sorry. So no dramas for you. I'm sorry. No, but what I'm saying is, like, that's always been a way for people to say how impactful something is by how popular it may be. And then you meet somebody who's like, oh, I love song seven on this album that you think nobody's ever heard or cares about. And they're like, this is my favorite song. And this is what got me through something. Yeah. And then I feel like that's always something that brings artists back down to earth to be like, oh, shit, like it's it's more than just chasing a number or a radio spin. It brings them. It brings them back to purpose. Right. Because I think that, you know, earning a living in all of these things, it is part of it. You know, but I think I think a lot of most of us started doing this because we loved it. Like, we didn't know what we had. Yeah. We just we just felt good when we was doing it. We felt good when we were singing. We felt good when we was dancing. And and then we found out one day you get paid for this. Yeah. Oh my goodness. I used to forget to get my money in the beginning. So many times. Hold on, hold on, hold on. We got because I was like, you know, I was so used to doing everything for free and promo and plus I just love to do it. So I forget that there was money. So I'd be like, oh, we're just going to the thing and then like they get that get I was like, where'd they go? And I was like, oh, did you get the back? Back in the money? I was like, oh, I forgot. Like we're getting the money. We get money. I forgot about that. I would have loved to be a bad manager back in. I love to be a bad manager. You got your money already. I've got that. You enjoyed yourself, right? You good, right? Oh, yeah. That was your payment. I had a lot of fun. Oh my God. Oh my God, they got money back there. I was like, how long I'm going to pay? Is it even for me? No, the front end was the whole way in. You're you're good. Wow. So so I want to know your your discovery process. How were you discovered? It all began. No, come on. OK, do it. So I'm going to go a little bit further back than I usually go back to come on. Please come on. Let's go back. Let's go back. I'll be money exclusive. Yeah. Pew, pew, pew, pew. Yeah, they're funny. Y'all can't make me laugh too much. You're going to be laughing half the time. Yes, no, it's great. The smile is doing everything to that count. OK. Do it. So, you know, everybody knows kind of generally like how I met Rich and I went to college and, you know, DC and you're from that DMV area too. Did you finish? Yes, I did. And now I told my parents like I was thinking of, I was like, if the opportunity happens, I'm thinking I might. But what do you guys think about if I just leave in the middle of it? My dad was like, maybe it depends. My mom was dead set against it. But my mom also cried when I became a professional singer because she was kind of disappointed about that. I might be coming in for Asian, you know, so it's like singer. She's like. All she heard was karaoke. She's like, that's not going to pay the bills. Well, she's just like that's all. She wanted me to be a professor or a lawyer or a professor or something like that. But she also really what it was because she told me later she was just really scared. She just knew about like sex, drugs and rock and roll. You know, I'm crazy. So she was like, no, we can't do that. Anyway, I digressed. That's why she thought I'd be a professor or a lawyer. So she thought that it'd be like a little too crazy for me and she was just worried. But anyhow, that was a digression. Let's go back to the beginning. So before I went to college, I was still trying to like figure it out in high school. And so like I did different like talent shows. I think I signed to something like when I was in high school. I can't really remember. But it was like a record company was in Alaska and they were trying to do their thing. And I think they were pretty decent. In Alaska? In Alaska, yeah. And they were, cause I lived in Alaska too for like, cause military brass. I just lived there for like three years. And I tried to do something with that. And then I came to do like this talent show or this talent thing that was happening in New York. That didn't work out, but I ended up bumping into some people that ended up coming into the music industry later. And they were also at that same talent show. I realized that I'm telling this that it's not particularly interesting cause there's nothing that happened with that. So we're going to move on to college. When I went to college, that's the story that everybody pretty much knows. Like I was just like always trying to like figure it out. In the development or anything with the Alaskan kind of? Well, what I did, I did do some things like some modeling picture type things. I'm not a model though. So that wasn't going it. The biggest takeaway from that period is they plugged my eyebrows too thin. That's what I, that's honestly my takeaway. Cause when I came out, when I came out, I'm like, look at my early video, I'm like, why am I eyebrows like that? Cause it's, that's what I got from this, that's period of time. Was that the modeling and the, it's just like some crazy thin eyebrows. I did also sing on a dumpster. So that actually helped, that was important. So my biggest takeaway was too thin brows doesn't look good, got it. Sing, don't be afraid to sing. I was the person who was like scared to be in front of people. So like talking to people was one thing, but if they asked me to sing, I have to like go behind the sofa and like hide or go around the corner. I didn't want people to look at me. So the, one of the guys who was like part of the talent thing, he, he was like, I want you to sing on this trash can in the city, just do it. There's a lot of people walking around. I was like, oh my gosh, just so embarrassing. He was like, I know, but that's why you got to do it. And I did it, I did it. I didn't want to do it, but I did it. And so that, that was my artist development. So it kind of broke the fear. It did break the fear. That broke the fear and also my first tour. I was, my first tour was the NAS tour. Was that the one that we were on? No, we weren't on that one. Okay, that's the, that's the first one that I remember because it was like morning time, doing a high school performance, you know, those high schoolers, my, my, my record, my first single just came out. They didn't know the song really. They're tough. It was like a reward for some of them for getting some good grades. So that means already your audience is already kind of skewed to like, I don't care about this kind of, not saying that, you know, if you're a bookworm, it's not. But I'm just saying they were like kind of bored and I have to come out and sing and then they don't care. And I can tell they don't care. Plus I had my angsty years. My middle school year and my high school years were very angsty and it wasn't that far apart at the time. So I felt like you're pushing me in this environment that I'm not really wanting to get into is bringing back like some sugary things. And then I got to sing and then I don't know, it was really, really hard. Then we did radio and I did the show in the afternoon. And it was like thousands of people. Then at night, they were like, go to a club and perform like a, you remember when everyone just, just go and do it again. We're talking about for free. See, this is why all this is for free. That's why I kept forgetting I was getting paid. And so I was like, all right, I'll do this thing. And I'm in the club. And sometimes it'd be like a bunch of people. Now these people to me all felt like grownups. So see, I was half step out of the high school era. So when I'm going to the nightclub, it feels like maims and sirs. Like, and then I don't like, oh no, they can see through me. They can see that I'm nervous. So you having all these thoughts throughout the day? Throughout the day. And in between, I'm in the hotel like this. Covers over my head, curtains drawn, cause I was so anxious. I was like, how does anyone have fun with this? How, I don't know how to have fun with this cause I'm nervous and anxious all day. But doing that every day cause I was on the tour, your friend is so amusing. I'm so glad cause you did this is funny. But it, I guess it is funny if you look at it now. I'm living, I'm reliving a little bit of it now cause I remember what it felt like to be in that. But it is kind of ridiculous when I look back at it. Cause I was like, hey, Marie, it's not such a big deal. But it felt like a big deal at the time cause I was so out of my comfort zone. But after that tour, I was like, put me in a bikini all day. I'm like, I'm out here baby. You created a monster. Cause how long, how long were you on that run? Maybe like three months? About three months cause I think, I think I was pretty much on every single day. And for the tour during the thousands of people, I only performed rule with Nas. So I didn't even have my own. So he was nice enough to just let me like, kind of come out there and do my song. So I didn't have to do too much. But, um... That was a lot. It was a great lot. That was a great lot. It was, it was good. It was good. I needed it. Yeah. And you were doing your single at the time too? Or no? Yes. And then people were starting to know it. So I got to see as an artist like, oh, people are starting to like know it. There, you know, cause in the beginning, you know, I wanted to apologize. Hey, sorry to, I'm just kind of, cause he let me do the song we did together and why don't we fall in love. Right. I finally say it. I'll just make this real quick. Just, thank you. You need to slow the momentum down. Yes, sorry. That's a tough spot for a new artist though. I mean, no matter what, especially, like, yes, like, like Tanks said, it's a lob and on one hand, like it gives you a leg up to be in front of these people, but it's putting you in front of a lot of people who don't know who they are. I know. But I'm so thankful for that time though, because it was just so difficult, like mentally, that I was like, look, if you can get through this, you'll be fine because I literally would be backstage shaking. Like, okay, okay, like really shaking, shaking like a leaf right backstage. And when I was done, I didn't have stage fright anymore. And I never had it again, except for some televised things. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Take me through the first single. Why don't we fall in love? Mm-hmm. Nobody knowing it to everybody knowing it. Well, you know what? And how you changed in the sense of how you presented it. I'm gonna bitch. Yes. And how you presented it, because you can wear it differently, you wear it differently when people don't know it, because there's a certain performance that you're doing when people don't know it. But then there's a certain performance that you're doing when people do know it. Different confidence. Yeah. Different level of everything. You guys know how it is, you know. You know how it is when it's like people know something. It's different, like you said, it's there's, they say to say, they say there's no drug like fame or like, even if it's not even fame, just being on a stage, controlling the stage, owning the stage. Because when you're on that stage, there is a certain amount of like control you have over the audience, you know what I mean? And that's kind of a little bit of power. Yeah, yeah, not a little. Yeah, kind of a lot of it, you know. And that is like an intoxicating kind of thing. But going from when no one knows it, like that is, I just had so many like hang ups just personally, like myself, it was like, you know, I was already kind of tired. I remember the first time I was performing and, you know, I had to like learn to like loosen up, like to throw a hip out, you know, because you know, mommy might be like, what are you doing? You know, what are you doing? So it was like, I was kind of like not moving too much. And then, then my mom was just like, oh, you gotta move, wear something tight. I was like, mom, like, okay, okay. So I kind of like. My mom turns you up. She's like, what are you doing? You gonna do this? I'm like. We're out here now. Don't get that money. It's a plan, it's a plan with me. Don't forget about the money. So I had to like loosen up. Once like I was performing and people started to know, it came with two, two, two fold. Cause on one hand I was like, wow, this is like, it's like power. Like you really do all this. You put your hands up, they put their hands up. It's like, you're giving energy. They're giving you energy. I was like, this is really crazy. And I was like, I can see why, you know, I don't know if this is in the Bible or not, but you know, the, with a story when you go to church, they were like Lucifer was the head of the choir and all that stuff. I'm like, that's why though, because this is energy. This is, it's, it's literally vibration. It's like, it's communication. So I was like, there's a lot of power in that. But on the other hand, then I started to think like, well, what do you do with that? What are you doing with it? And that's actually what led to me kind of stepping away for a while too later, like I'm later in the story. I don't know if you want me to tell that now or... No, no, no, so let's hope that. Yeah. Cause then, cause then there's talking to me is after that, right? Talking to me was going to be first. Then it was after that. I think something was supposed to be before that though, but talking to me did come after that. That was the second thing on that album. That was the second thing. Yeah. Why don't we fall in love was incredible. No, it changed music. Why don't we fall in love was like, was like quietly my favorite song. Really? It was incredible. I appreciate that. The delivery, the vocal, the video, the musicianship, the core structure, everything. I was just like, oh my God. And then you get on stage and you were killing it. It was all great. Thank you. It's sometimes it's, sometimes it's song, or sometimes it's the artist. Right. You know what I mean? Or sometimes you can pick out the pieces that make it kinda make sense. You don't always have the marriage. You don't always have the marriage of everything. Where it's all good. And that's how you... And to have that from the beginning. You came out the gate. As you liked your first song, Out the Gate. You came out the gate that way. I think, you know what it is too, I appreciate that. One, I felt like that song represent, cause you know, that wasn't gonna be the first thing. That's all I was saying. Talking to me was gonna be the first one. But when we did everything, I was just thinking like, cause at the time I drove like a red eclipse. I'm talking about red eclipse. Red eclipse. Yeah. I could see you in a red eclipse. I can't tell you the same. It was a little fast, little fast car, you know? And I was thinking like, what do I want to be my introduction? Like, because I'd been dreaming about it for so long. I had notebooks of like, how do I want to handle myself in interviews? Like what kind of questions do I want to answer? What do I not want to answer? What do I think that the, how everything should be like I had, I was kind of everything planned. Everything. Well, you know, I guess you could say that way. I was prepared, right? You were good. Trying to be prepared. Because I was one of those people who would, you'd see me across campus. I didn't have my headphones in. That's also why I don't really remember much of college. Unfortunately, I learned to be more present in life. But I would walk between classes or like when I had the little student job. And I would pretend I was in the video. Like I was listening to the song, but I was pretending that this was my video. And I really, really felt like I was in, I was in my own world. So I had everything so prepared. One, one while we found love, we recorded it. I was like, I like talking to me. I like it a lot, but people don't know me. This introduction is so important. And what do I want to be the first thing? And I actually didn't want to put my picture out. Cause I was like, sometimes people get preconceptions, preconceptions or preconceived notions. Regarding like how you sound. And some people would be like, oh, like, you know, she's cute and it's gonna be like, which is cool. But I was like, I don't want, I just wanted to be about the music. I just want people to hear the music. And I don't want any images getting in the way of their experience. I just want that. And I think this is the song that best represents me right now. Everything you said and the melodies, the delivery. I was like, if someone could only hear one song for me, I was like, who is she? This song is who I am. And so that's why we went through it. But it was, the whole thing felt different to me. Like to me, in my mind, it was very black and red, of black and red, like those little colors in my head. So when I talked to Benny Boone and we were like talking about the video and he was like, summer day, I was like, summer. I'm thinking wet streets, night, dark. He was like, I was like, what? Wet the street with the water, with the water hose. Get the cars, pull up. I was like, yes. But now I understand because I was able to see, I was feeling the fire and what it was for me on an emotional level, like that song. And what everyone else was hearing is what the song was from the outside. Refreshing. It felt light flowing. It felt, yeah. It was a summer day. And I can get it now. In New York. Yeah, first day of summer. Central Park, right. On the outskirts, just walking, stopping at the truck. Give me a double vanilla, throw some more rios on that thing. Like it was walking past. It felt optimistic. It just felt. Things are gonna be good too. It's gonna be a great day today. I see, that matches me. So that's, I'm happy for that. And you were nothing, you didn't look like anything in the industry at that time, nor sound like. So that was. I know some people were like, they can hear the Mary influences to be fair. Which she's one of my biggest influence major buys. So that makes sense. But I don't think there were a whole lot of Blasions around at that time. I don't think, now we're like a thing now. I don't think there was one. I don't understand. We were like a thing. You know what? We weren't a thing. We weren't a thing. We were very rare, right? Which to me, a military kid was not there. Yeah, it was like, it was never rare. It was a social, your daddy know of me, right? So we had no digging my daddy from the hood. What happened is that people, I think people like got on, Blasian thing got on the radar somehow. And then people just started. Well, I'm a military. Get together. So it's always been a murder. It's always been, yeah. I've always known about, you know what I'm saying, the blend. I've always known about you people. I've known about, the way of water. I got a question. Well, recently Roy's. Very random. So, cause obviously I want to hear what you did because you obviously, you went to college, you got education, you come from two parent homes. It's a little bit of a different path than the average artists, right? Most of us is dropouts. Most of us, you know what I mean? Just for real, like, because it's, we got music. Yeah, that's it. So for someone like you, when you get your first check, what do you do with it? I don't really remember what I did with the money. You know what? I'm not a person that thinks a lot about money. I gotta say, which is a good thing, but it also kind of be a bad thing too. What did I do with that? You didn't have any big purchase, anything. Like when you first got like, okay, I got a little bit of money. I think I bought a Cartier ring. Okay. But I gave it to Angela. So your first big purchase went to your sister? Latte's, you know? You just bought a whole bunch of Latte's? You just started. Listen, when I was like, when I didn't really have money, because I was, you know, student and everything, I had a ritual. Okay. Well, maybe that's why I'm always mentioning Latte's and something like that. They're cozy. I could only get one a month when I would get my little student check. Cause my parents, like, I had, I always had everything I needed, but not like just extra stuff, you know? We got what we needed for school clothes. Kids would get like a whole bunch of stuff for school clothes. It's like, here's a couple outfits and one pair of shoes. Now we had, we never wanted for anything. We always had what we needed, but not always will be wanted. So when I had my little, whatever I had, I would buy the Latte. It was like $4, you know what I mean? And I would sit just like this when I would get that money and just be like, And savor that Latte. And savor that Latte. Sometimes I put on my $100 sweater that I only wore that day. And that was it. So like, you know, it was very basic. So when I did get money, there wasn't a lot of things that I wanted to buy. But it was Latte's for everybody. It was kind of like, now I can have a Latte whenever I freaking want. Latte's on me. Latte's on me. Yeah, Latte's on me. Don't worry about it. You can get extra cream, whatever. Whip cream, do it. Go crazy. Yeah, go bet you if you want to. Go bet you if you want. I said witchy. So it's like, my big purchase was like, maybe it was like kind of like that, that ring. Now, I did go through a period where I got a little crazy and I was like shopping and buying a lot of clothes. I do remember that. But then I was like, that felt kind of like a waste. I'm more into like experiences, I think. And so that's why the Latte thing kind of was a thing for me. It wasn't about the Latte. It was more about like being able to just sit back and enjoy something, you know what I mean? And then when I got money, it was like, now I can just have the experiences that I want whenever I want. And I have to hold those. Because whenever I would buy like more material things, I don't know, it just didn't do it for me the same way. But don't get me wrong, you know, if I was, if I did start buying jewelry, I was like, I'll just buy my jewelry. That's my thing. So that's probably why I bought the ring. Okay. But then, you know, I forgot about it. Pretty snigger shit. Yeah. But yeah, that was, that's what I did. But I was also, again, you gotta remember, I was forgetting to get the money. I was forgetting that I was getting paid for stuff. Did you ever get the actual money? I did, but I would forget every show. You think you know, I love it? Did you get the money? I think so, cause I was also not a person who was counting the money like that too. I was like, cool, got the money good. Thanks. This is great. Put it away. And I was like, oh, I probably should count it. You were just having fun. I was just having fun. I was like, wow, it's funny that I get paid to do this. And I still feel like that a lot of times, you know what I mean? Like I'm still thinking like, wow, you actually get money to do the thing that you would want to do anyway. You know what I mean? Whether it's music or writing a book, it's kind of like, wow, you get paid for that. So were you actually present in the beginning? I was too anxious. So you just really anxious throughout the whole thing? For like a number of years, I was too anxious to enjoy it. You know, like, and then it hit me later on when I was overseas. I was like, you know, I know you're really nervous about, cause I talked to myself out loud, you know, I told you that. I was like, I know you're really nervous about this. Like when you're by yourself, you're talking out loud. People will literally be like, oh, I thought you were on the phone. I was like, oh, no, that's just me. Or they'll just come into a room and I'm just standing in front of the wall. Do you know why it's out loud? Because I think, I mean, it could be like, maybe I'm just connecting with my higher self or because it's not usually like, what am I doing? And it's usually like, I'm so mad about this thing. But it's like, well, why are you mad? Cause I just feel like it's just really, I guess I really, really upset about X, Y and Z. Well, first, I mean, it's good to acknowledge that you're mad, but maybe, I mean, it sounds, I didn't realize how crazy it was till I saw this one thing about a serial killer. And I was like, ooh, I said like that? I can see how it's comfortable. It's like when you see movies, or you know, me shooting movies and stuff like that, there's always this conversation with yourself and it's out loud. And so I don't talk to myself out loud, but I'm wondering, you know, I was wondering if the movies was just, it's just depicting real life. Like some people do talk to themselves out loud. Out loud, yeah. You're moving, doesn't it? No, literally, out loud. So you're saying it like, I'm like, okay, there are people that really do that. No, I do. Cause sometimes you can get outside of your emotional stuff and what's going on, and you can connect to like a deeper part of yourself. And that's the part that we'll be speaking to you and talking it through like whatever is going on, right? And it helps to kind of see things from a different perspective in that way. So that's kind of like what I did. You know what? I think I do it. See? Are you remembering it now? But I don't talk, like I don't talk. I'll be like, I'll be doing that. Okay, okay. And see if I ever do it. See if like, we can't be fucked up. That's the talking to myself I do. And it's crazy, cause you're such a baby babe. It's like, when Jay says it, it makes me be like, are you going to, are you gonna blow it up? Are you gonna blow it up? Are you mad? Oh my God, bro. But yeah, I don't think for me, like that's the only time I've ever like talked out loud. I just be going through like show stuff. Oh yeah. And song stuff and I don't know, just maybe. Are you playing both parts? Cause she plays both parts. Yeah, what she doing is she's on both sides of the couch. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. They're levels to it. So she's on the expert level. Like I'm beginners. I'm just, I'm just still expressing one side of the conversation, which is my, I'm not out loud. But I do find myself like mumble whispering. Like what's on my mind. And everybody looking at this. Y'all heard that? It helps to say it out loud sometimes. But I don't know what that is. Cause I do that when I'm singing. I was just like, I don't know. Cause I do that when I'm singing. It don't sound like nothing. And are they, but there was a lyrics that you're singing or? Sometimes it's lyrics and sometimes it's just a vibe. Sometimes it's just. Oh, okay, okay. Sometimes it's just a vibe. Talk, talk, talk to me. Talk, talk to me. Talk, talk, talk to me. So I do, I get it. I highly recommend it for people to try if they ever have like, like in all seriousness, if you're ever like going through something and then you're trying to figure it out. Cause we all have that part of us. That's, that's who we are. Like on a soul level. Like that's not necessarily your personality. That's not what you're going through. That's not, it's beyond emotion. It's not the, it does not, it only witnesses. It's not, it does not feel the emotion. It witnesses and it watches. And that's why I say it's like your higher self or not. And you're, you're like, I don't know. I'm like really worried about this thing. Okay. You're really worried about, cause, well you're worried about that now because this is happening, but, but, but know that on the other side of this, that you know what there is that you have to do with this thing. I know, but it's just like, I'm trying to figure out how to get this and this, but it'll be figured out. It will be figured out. It's like, yeah, I know that. Okay. And you do all of that. I do all of that. But I might be like in front of like my, in front of my bookcase, like my son came in and you're like, mommy, he's like, Oh, you were talking to yourself. Because sometimes I'm saying, or I might be ruminating on things like about life. And I'll say it out loud. Kids are so, I love kids. Kids, because they're honest. Oh, 100%. Cause they just are honest. How are you doing it again? He gets it. They'll let you live. They'll be like, Oh, okay. I thought you were, I can't tell that you're on the phone sometimes cause you have your ear pods on and, but I don't know if you're talking to someone or just yourself. I'm like, Oh, thanks baby. Love for your patients. You know, cause I might do that. As you talk about like how anxious you were and, and just in the early stages of this, did you ever get a chance to feel like you were being successful? Did you ever get a chance to really like, like, like really see it and feel it? No, I'm going to do that this time. Because I don't actually have like, there's some things I'm going to do differently. And I was like, Amry, this is what we're going to do. Cause I, you know, normally I'd be like, Oh, I don't like photo shoots. I hate doing this and those kinds of things. And my dad was like, you know, if you're going to do this, Amry, you need to just do, you know, do it all the way. Do the things. I know you don't like some of the stuff, but do those parts. And I was like, yeah, you're right, daddy. I am going to do that. This is like a couple of years ago. So this time I remember like I was going to do a photo shoot. I was like, Oh, here we go. I'm going to do the photo shoot. I'm like, can we be done with it? Can we do it real quick? Cause I don't really like to take pictures. I never like to take, I said, no, Amry. And I actually wrote it on a piece of paper, like in February, I said, that those, those old things, I was like, we're going to, that's the old you. We're going to sacrifice that old you because the old you, that's the old you. That's not you anymore. The new you loves to do photo shoots. The new you loves to, I always love to go to events when I'm there, but the lead up of going to the event made me anxious and dread it. But then everyone was like, but you, you never be wanting to leave. You at the club cause I love, I actually like going to the club and I like going to like the ratchet club. I don't like going to a bougie club. I don't like going to a bougie club. I like a, I like a hood club. That's what I like cause those are fun when people dance and it's just like, it's just the vibe is different. So I was like, we're going to, we like going out and we like going to things. And that's what it's going to be. And cause inside you do like that. So we're going to put aside the old things that didn't serve any kind of real purpose. We're also going to enjoy the moment cause I started learning that at the very end, but I didn't really, we're going to get you your plaques. You don't have no plaques. Well, you've never ordered any. I was really cared about. I was really cared about. They should have sent them to you anyway. I was like, you should look at your thing. I was a part of it. Okay. We'll do that. We'll do that. We'll do that. They're like, thank you. Yep. I wasn't on there. No, they called money. Where's the money? Did they send you the money for that? So I was like, we're going to get you your plaques because I was always so like, it's like, do you want your plaques? And I was always like, no, I don't know. I don't, I don't really, uh, later, later, later when it, we'll wait till another point when I get them. And then I kind of forgot about them. So I don't have like, I think I have one from like France, this one record producer, the record producer that I did a song for. And then I think I might have, I don't know, but I don't have like a single plaque. If I don't have any of those things that I think I have some awards, but I usually give those to my parents and there were some different things. But I was like, you know, I know what's going on. You're not in, you're not in the moment. You're so like this. So focused on it. You're, you're missing the journey. And I was like, I don't, I don't want to miss the journey because when you, when you're so focused on just getting to your destination, you realize when you get there, there's nothing there. It's only you. When you get to the top of the mountain, it's only you. There's no one, no one ever talks about that because then no one won't want to make the trek. But the whole point is like how it was getting up the mountain. And I just didn't see that. So that's why I was like, you don't have no plaques, you know, I know some girls, they'd be having like cute like photos, you know, the photos, you've been going to the girls bathroom and she got like the picture of her like this. Like, you know, I was like, you don't have no photos yourself, like not even one. I was like, no, none of those things because you never were concerned about it. But you want to look back as kind of like little signposts like, Oh, I did this thing. I did that thing. Time steps. Yeah. I said, so we're going to do things a little differently this time. We gonna be as that. No, I always go back to that just cause. What are you going to be talking about? It's just, what does that really mean though? Really, honestly? I mean, that's really just having a good time. Everybody has a different definition for outside. Having a good time. That's the thing. It's like, yeah, I was like, I'm going to have a really good time because I was too anxious the first time around to like enjoy anything honestly because I was like so anxious about it and too nervous. Like when I would go into a city, I was too nervous to do anything because I was just like dreading the thing. And is everything going to be right with the sound and the, the lighting and the show itself and the run through and what do I need to do? I'm like, girl, you are in wherever Germany. You are in let's go to get something to eat. Let's run by that. Like a quick stop at that museum thing or that one thing you wanted to see. And you didn't do any of that. Have dinner with like the promoters or whatever because they would always want to do dinners and they would always say, oh, she's not going to do dinner, which I felt bad about but they didn't understand it wasn't because I didn't want to do dinner with them. I was just too nervous about the stuff. I said, we're going to go do dinner. So we're going to enjoy because this is an experience. So my whole outlook is, is different. So is it a memory the influencer now? Are you? No, I was going to like that term. You're about to be out here influencing. I mean, you ready with me? No, I don't like that term, but I, I definitely will. I want to experience everything and I'm not anxious about it because I also realized too that there's a lot going on in the world. And it's like, it's so, it's so easy to feel like the things that we do, like as artists, because there's a, there is a certain level of self absorption that we have, you know what I'm saying? But ain't nobody really paying attention to you that much all day, every day. They're going to see it and then they're going to move on to the next thing. So it's like for you, it feels like, huh, and it's not that dire. It's not that dire. Just have fun. I also think part of having fun is, is as an artist is the delegation part of it, which frees you up in so many ways. And so I, it took many years for me to take my hands off of things and just trust people to do what they're supposed to do in the way that they know I like it. So somehow I feel like, whether it be a sound man or, or a manager or, you know, any of these things, it's like the relationship and trust has to be so where you can go to sleep and wake up or just get into a city, not go to soundcheck. You know what I mean? You ain't even showing up to soundcheck. You living on the edge. No, no, I mean, my, my, my guys know how, how you want to sound, how I like my stuff. Right? You know what I mean? So hard. And we, we, now we do rehearse it and practice it so that we know, and maybe in the first city we do one, maybe in the second city, just to, just to touch it up and make sure. But once I, once, once, once I walk in the building, I'm just, I'm just vocalizing and doing push-ups. And put my clothes on. Are you literally doing push-ups? Absolutely. Okay. I was believing that. I was like, I was, I was, I was, I was like, I thought that was like a metaphor for like getting ready. But I was like, this tank, he's probably literally like one, two, three. They want to see these things. Oh, okay. So, so, you know, it was that delegation that freed up a lot of space. Like how long have you got time for all this approving this and doing the sound check? I got push-ups to do. I got some crunches. Come on. Come on. And I could, I could rest. I could really go to sleep before a show and really wake up like, Ready? All right. And let's go. That's hard to do though, because I am super pixelated. And when it comes to like artwork, for instance, I almost got to do it. I'm like, what about the colorization and what about, because I can tell when this is here, but it should be here because the balance between the space and here. And a lot of people don't see that. It's called OCD. And I suffer from it. I suffer from it. I suffer from it. Terrible. Actual OCD. But I had to take my hands off of things. Like I had to actually start, like Jay helped me start appreciating things that were so obscure and so not right. Okay. Okay. I'm not sure what to talk about this. Right. Especially music. Music. I'm like, Jay, it's not right. He said, but it's feel good. Oh, okay. I can see that. I can see that. It would be so wrong. But right. But once I, once I threw away my musical education and, and, and, and my, my posh gift. And once I threw all that to the side and just started being present and was just what's happening and stop listening with just being objective and, and, and giving it all a chance. I started enjoying things that I'd never enjoyed before. I can totally see that conversation happening between you guys. I can totally see it. It's hilarious. Because, because Jay is just like very straightforward too. And not overthinker. He's like, go listen. No, he's an, he's an absolute overthinker. I think he's very instinctive. He's also willing to just do away with his overthinking. I said, man, that's shit. Rocking down. Yeah. That's what I mean. Very instinctive. And just like, yeah. Yeah. I mean, and I think for me and for him, right, we come from two different sides of music. Right. I learned music in a sense from the streets. Ultimately. You know what I mean? And, and he learned music from theory and from church and, you know, all the right things. And for me, I learned it the bad boy way. And not, I mean, too. Not, I tease him because he's got a baby face. I was actually good. You were not. You were not. Well, I did my things. But from a, from a music standpoint, I, I didn't understand any theory. I still don't to this day. I don't understand it. I can't, I can't, I can't understand it. I can't, I can tell you what the middle C is on the keyboard. And it really goes as far as that. Like, they can start talking about chords and the progressions of this and I'm like, yeah, listen, all that is weird. How do we make it sound good? How does it feel? How does it feel? How do we make it feel good? And I think him and I coming together and working together, we found this happy medium of like, okay, it's very talented still, but it's digestible. That actually sounds like a perfect marriage, actually. Because it's like having that theory, but at the end of the day, it is feeling, it is emotional. And then he started pointing stuff out to me. You know, where it was like, no, Jay, it sounds like this because of that. And I'm like, ah, okay. This is a piano key. Yeah, you know what I mean? Yeah. So, and I think the other part was just us trusting, us trusting and having that respect of being like, okay, he know what he talking about on this side of it. So, I'm smiling just because I'm like, it's a pearl story. Yeah, now it is though. Full of love and talent. It really is, man. And it's helped us. Okay, back to Avery. She can't wait to sing another verse of pearl story. Excuse me. Do we get to this one thing? Is it time to go there? Yeah, cause let me think if there is there anything. Skip over anything. Cause cause like you do it with, why don't we fall in love? You do it with talking, talking, talking, you do it. And now it's time to do it again. Oh, second album. Is there pressure? There was pressure. And you know what? There was, um, there was a little bit of me learning what I really love to because between the two albums. I did a movie. And that's where I, you know, cause there's, there's writing and reading and writing and there's music. There's, there's acting. And that's when I learned that I liked acting third best. I was like, cause I was on set. I went into it like I'm really excited to do, and it was a great experience. I was really excited to do it. But I, I remember I was like, I really need to get into the studio. What is this movie done? This is great. But when, and I was like, wow, you really like this, but this is, this lets you know where you prioritize it. So the second album, one big thing I wanted differently was I wanted to move because that's what I actually said in the first album. Sorry, excuse me. The first album, it was kind of like moody and alive. Actually, a lot of people would come up to me and they'd be like, why aren't we falling in love? Yes. Right. But then they would also say, and maybe I just died. But then they would say, your personality feels so different. Like I was expecting a different kind of vibe from you when, before I met you. And I was like, what? And they were like, I don't know. It's just like more like chill because your album is so chill. And I was like, yeah, that's the opposite of me actually. But, but that's a side of me too. It's just different. But I knew that at the time I told Rich when we were creating it, I really want to be on stage and I want to dance. I want to dance. And I'm, I'm into like rocking out on stage. That's like what I want to do. We just hadn't figured out what how to get there. Yeah. What the music would be because we were just going with the flow of the music and it wasn't that. So I was like, we got to get it this second time around. So I remember when he was playing that and a couple other songs like for that project. And I wasn't really sure where we were going with it at first because it was also like kind of confused. It was a lot going on. I think I actually specifically said that it's a lot going on. I was like, and I, even just scratching here is probably how I felt inside. Like, I don't understand what is going on with what's happening like sonically. It's a lot. And, but it had that go go feel. I could, I could understand that. But then there was some other moments because, you know, Rich likes to flip a lot of things. So it was like some other stuff happening. And then, then the melody is doing something else. And I was like, I got to like, I had to ride with him a little bit for that because I was like, I know this is dope. It's something special. But I just don't understand. That was hard to know though. What that was. Because it wasn't a thing that we had heard before. I'm putting it together like that. Yes. The go go elements were in there, but that wasn't go go. And you know, DMV. So you know what I mean. It's like, yeah, the elements are there, but it's other stuff happening. So it's like, what is it? It went straight ahead. No way. It was otherworldly. No, there was nothing like that. So it could be hard to be like, Because you're taking a chance. Yeah. I'm just trying to, you know, it's not even like I'm thinking as far as taking a chance at that point. I'm trying to understand what I'm listening to. Got you. Like what's happening? You know what I mean? And then I, then I was like, all right, let's do it. We started recording. And I felt like there was something special, but I wasn't sure what everyone else was going to think. Cause I didn't know if everybody else would think kind of how I felt. But I was a person who notoriously, I don't, I notoriously didn't get first listens. I do now. I remember like growing up as a kid, TLC, creep, all the, all the dope records. I was like, I don't get it. I don't get it. I was just miss, I don't get it. The first listen. So that's when I started to change and come out of that. So I didn't know if I wasn't getting it cause that's just my usual, I don't get it. Or if this is just like, un-gettable, if that makes any sense. So I was like, I don't get it. I don't get it. I don't get it. I don't get it. I don't get it. It's un-gettable. If that makes any sense. Even after we recorded, I was like, I don't know what this is. It feels great. Like the feeling of it is great. I don't really know... other people are going to get it. Cause it also, you know, I don't have like an 808 in there and I love 808's cause I'm, you know, also grew up in Texas too. So to me, I would just listen to, you know, DJ Magic M.I.K. It was a M.I.K. or just DJ M.I.K. or just DJ M.I.K. Anyway, it was like just bass. I was like, when I grow up and I have a car, I'm gonna have a car with bass in it. And it's just gonna be like a low rider with a bunch of bass in it. That's what I want. Like that's it, 808s. So I would always ask Rich anyway, like, where are the drums? That's what I used to always ask Rich Harrison, who was like, where are the drums? He was like, what are you talking about? I was like, I don't hear the drums. You know what he's talking about? I was like, so where's that? He's like, oh, you're talking about eight? He was like, oh, you're talking about 808s. I was like, yeah, can we put some in this? He was like, no. No. I was like, just try it. No, I think actually a couple of times he did put them in there. And like, but I was like, oh, he's like, OK, I did your 808s. I was like, where is it? I was like, oh, it's not doing them. He was like, it doesn't go with this. She wanted a Caprice class. Rattling in the trunk. I did. I did. That had been a whole different artist. I did. I like that. Do you understand how sonically? Like. As I like, as I'm just listening to this, the these songs in my head replaying them, I don't know who else could have sang them because it needed a certain texture and a certain energy in order for it all to make sense. I don't think you were the calm in the storm, right? Because because your voice wasn't it wasn't the calm, but it was the constant. You know, it was like it was like the thing that we could reach to and hold on to. Thank you. Had a way of saying stuff and being making me feel like, I guess any artist like we'd be doing stuff because it's like, oh, no, no, no, no, no, no. The way you said makes it sound like it's so great. Well, think of it this way, right? If it wasn't everything that I'm saying it was, it wouldn't matter today. And it fucking matters. Thank you. And you feel it when you get on stage, you feel it when you walking down the street. You know what I'm saying? You feel it when you outside now. You feel it when they saw you at the Brandy and Monica tour and was on the rise. Oh shit, I'm gonna stay. You feel it because those moments in those songs and what you did, they matter. Thank you. It was classic. Did you know you were making classics? You know, at the time, no, although we did have a conversation, like Rich and I did have a conversation. He was like, you know, it's gonna be classic. People can say this is a classic album. That was the first album though. But then we were also like, because we do feel like it's a great album. And everyone's first album, the introduction is always like the classic. And I was like, I know. And then they're gonna be like, why don't you make another one like this? We were having that conversation while we were still creating. I didn't even have a record deal yet. And I was like, then they're gonna be like, why don't you do it like the first though? Why don't you make it? And you're talking about the album that's not even out yet? Yeah. We ain't got a record deal. You said, it's gonna be a classic, right? And I was like, I know. And then people are gonna be like, why don't you make more like this? And we're like, that's what happens. It's the thing. He was like, get ready. And I was like, yeah, I know. I was like, you get ready. Yeah, I did it. And we did it. And it's been a great journey. But also I do feel like when we did put some art into the world that didn't quite exist in the way that it was when we put it out. And that felt really good. Yeah. And it still feels good. You are an originator. The egoic part of me says, yes. But then there's another part. So on the R&B Money podcast. Okay. It's probably that he's talking about. It's probably your shit time. It's probably your shit time. Okay, because we're here to celebrate you. And today it is okay for you to celebrate yourself. And it's okay for you to say, yes, I did that. But even if I don't feel like it came, because I feel like it's good. I have to feel like that art comes through us. It's not wrong. It's not mine. It's not wrong. Okay, let's say you were the vessel. I was that vessel. Come on, what? Joe's me. Okay. She said it. We got it. Let's make that a sound bite. She said, no, I did better than her. She said, she's the greatest of all time. She said. Earlier you said that you had stepped away. Yes. And, you know, I don't know, you don't have to go heavy into, super heavy into that. But, you know, is there, is there a part of the thought process in the Y's and the house in that space that you would like to share? I started a cult. No, you did. I did. You said, no, you did. You started Y being a cult. Y being a cult. You started writing books. You started a book cult? I decided to write. That was the cult where I created my own religion. Thank you. No, I actually stopped to write books. But the reason why, one, something was calling to me, right? I felt like somehow I wasn't fulfilled. And I couldn't put my finger on why that was. And then I realized, so it was two things. That was one. And I realized that I just felt at the time I couldn't see the value of what I was doing. That's ultimately what it was. I didn't realize till later. But I did at the time feel like there has to be more than this. It has to be more than just making some songs. I'm on stage. I'm like, OK, I feel pretty cute. Look at me. And that power that we talk about, that when you feel when you're on stage. But I was like, well, there has to be more, though. Why? What's the why? I didn't have the why at the time. I had the what and the how. I didn't have the why. What is the purpose in this? And then at the same time, I was feeling like I missed something. Like I miss papers and the smell of paper and the smell of books. And there's so many things. Then that was before I realized I was missing story. Then I realized I missed stories. And it's like, yeah, that's why I've been trying to put these stories in these videos. But they don't fit because the kind of video I want to make is astronomically expensive. I want the snow. I need another planet. And you know what? Chris Robinson pulled it in for me because when we did the video for Touch, I told him I was like, he was like, we're just going to club, some dancing stuff, some sexy stuff. And I was like, yeah, sexy, but also I need two moons. This is another planet. We have landed on this other planet. We're another species. I don't really know, but it still looks like human. But we need to be somewhere else. And he was like, I got you. I can at least I was like, tell me what you can do. I couldn't get all the effects that I wanted. Because again, that was really expensive. And the story I wanted to tell was like a little longer. But he did give me two moons and he built a jungle in the parking lot. And so when I got there, I was like, OK, that's great. But people won't really get that when they see the video. They'll probably like see it kind of sorter and it's like in the club. And it's hot and sexy. But there was also a story there. And I was like, I can't tell the stories. I had another video. I was like, it's post-apocalyptic kind of Mad Max vibes. But I couldn't tell the story I wanted. I did have me hanging off of a truck, though. There's a lot of things that I want to happen. Like I want a lot of stuff. You were able to have pieces of these things. Pieces, but not the full thing. You were able to fully tell that story. Thank you. Was that your way of being like, girl, you're taking too long to tell the story? I know. It's hard for me to articulate that sometimes. Well, you know, I'm your partner. I'm your partner. That was thank you for leading me back on the pad. I couldn't tell the stories that I wanted to. And so I was like, you just I think you missed story. You want to write books. And you know what? This is a good time anyway, because you're feeling like somehow you don't know what the purpose is for this other thing, which is music. Just step away for a while. Just do that. And then I kept doing little things here and there. I'd put like a song out or something like that. But I wasn't like really doing it. But I always knew, though, like I knew again, the voice, you know, or it's not even the voice. It's just the others that the me, the deeper me was like, you know that this is going to come back around. Don't know when, but it is going to come back around. And it's going to be you're going to be in a place where you really get it. And it's going to be better on and so many levels because you're going to understand the why you're going to have your why eventually. But I didn't know when that was going to be. And it turned out to be like 15 years later or 15, depending on how you look at it, 15, 20 years later. So now I get it, though, I get it. And it took me a long time to understand essentially how art is important. And even though you're not curing cancer, even though you're not a doctor saving lives, even though you're not stopping wars from happening, you soundtrack the lives of people. People are we we're human beings. We need to connect. We need that energy. We need the music. That's why you can never create the thing that people want. That people are like, they want the music that they heard when they fell in love with you, whether it's your first album or they found you on your second or third album. That album for them was their introduction to you. And the reason why you were introduced to them was because they were going through something at that time where your music resonated with that. You can't recreate that. You know, I can't recreate that for someone because this is your experience. This music was just giving you what you needed to be you. So to ask me to recreate something is asking me to make you feel like where you were then, but that you can do that. I can't give you that. I can only give you a marker, like a signpost, right? But once I understood how the music can touch people in that way, in more than a theoretical way and more than a, oh, the music that gets, you know, people through, we knew that already when we got into the music industry because we knew what that did for us. But when I really understood what that was, I understood the gift that it is. And that is like a gift and it's also a service for people. And it's not about you as an artist, like to just like blow up your own head or whatever, it's like you're in this position to help someone and to spread good energy or whatever energy somebody needs for their thing. So I was like, I was like, see, that's why it's time. That's why that's why the alignment is happening now, because now you understand that on a deep level versus just feeling like it's about you just making records and I'm very competitive actually, right? Like I always would approach records as and the music business as a sport. You know what I mean? And with like a lot of like bravado inside, not outside. But then I realized too, it's not really that. And I was never like a rapper necessarily, like how rappers compete, like in hip hop. But it was like, so I knew art is you're always competing against yourself, really. But I just was missing that one why. And then I then I understood it more fully. And then I had so I found my purpose. Pop back out. And then I was like, it's time. I actually literally called Troy or called my manager at the time and was like, hey, you know, because we had met with Troy already, Troy Taylor. So we kicked it off with, right? And I was like, yeah, like I said, I had this epiphany in the kitchen. And I was like, that is now. I was like, OK, it's now I feel it. I called him was like, tell Troy, like ready to go in, see what's going on with the schedule. They're like, are you sure? You know, you always you do these three stuff, these things and you cancel it and you change your mind, you change your mind for years, right? And I was like, no, this is time. It's like for real time now. And I'm actually going to call my agent. I'm a letter. No, I'm going to put the book club on hiatus. I'll put them down. I still have my books, you know, but for right now we're going focus on the music, focus on the music. I'm a go on hiatus for at least one year. And I was like, because this is the time now I get it. I understand what I need to understand. Everything is timing, but it's not just random timing. It's divine. It's divine timing. And sometimes we can say like, this is this is divine orchestration, right? Like, like this is the thing. But really, everything is divine orchestration, even when you stub your foot. Right? You from you stubbing your foot or you can't find your keys and you're trying to go out. It's because like you see everything is like threaded through to perfection. And some of the things that we call like, oh, this was divinely orchestrated. It's just because it's a bigger signpost. Got you. You know what I mean? It's like you come through and it's like back there. Yes, I believe that we did it like in our between lives. Like I'm a go there and this is the thing I have to learn. So it's going to be a lot of paths between this and this. But I know this has to happen or have to meet that person or this particular hardship or whatever it is has to happen. And in between, it can be all these threads, but there are threads between them. But these are the things that are definitely going to happen. And those are the things that I think when we kind of feel like we all have that thing where we kind of knew we were going to get that job or move to this place. It's like, I just kind of knew it. It's because it was already said. Yeah. You know what I mean? 100 percent. And that's what you have for us now, right? I'm sorry, you lost me. No, you said you're ready. I missed that. Sorry, I missed. I fumbled it. That would have been great. Sorry. That's what I told you the other night. People have no idea how hilarious you are. You don't even try to be like you are. Okay. Stereocom. Thanks. What I'm saying is that you're why you know why. And you're in that space as we speak. I am totally in that space. Something for us. Yeah, because I was like, wait, I'll tell you. You didn't tell me I was supposed to sing today. No, no, no. I got nothing right now. No, no, no. Like the stage. Play it. Oh my. Turn it up. First love. No, no. But I'm just saying in terms of delivering, delivering us, you know what I mean? You. On a platter. Back in the music, back in this musical space that I know that we know you belong in. I love this book club is awesome. Books cause me booking. Books are booking. I love it. It's not the same as music. We want you back singing. We also want you on this music thing. And we're glad that you are back. Right. And that you showing up to the hood clubs. Yeah. So I'm just working on, you know, I'm in Atlanta. They got classes. Anyway, she in classes in Atlanta guys. They do. Hey, she's. I don't know if you don't see it. I don't know if you're looking. She's doing it. She's around. Yes, since we're on this music thing, since we're on this music thing, you know, and the resurgence of Emery back outside, you have this thing. That's we got to define that for the people. No, no, we don't. Because I. Apparently. I got some new divination. We you know, it's. Netflix and chill? I thought Netflix and chill was really watching something and chilling. Yeah. And it became something else. It became something else. It became something else. No, no, no, no. Chilling can become something else. Someone told me Netflix and chill was never a Netflix and chill. I was like, was it never really? It's always been Netflix and chill, but everybody chills differently. I just realized you gotta get them definitions together first before you start saying stuff. When you're outside, you grown ass woman. When you go outside, you can do whatever you wanna do when you're outside. Yeah. Don't have to define that for nobody. Ain't nobody to boss you. I know, I'm the boss of me. You got the other one. I literally told somebody that the other day. Shit. Told G had that. He said, that's literally my job. I said, why are you trying to be the boss of me? He was like, that's literally my job. You understand? I'm sorry. Ain't nobody, shit. I'm the boss of me. I'm sorry, Jay. What's the other thing you're saying? You're back. I'm outside. Outside. In my way. With a record out. Chatting. Put music out. Yeah. And I've seen it. We've talked about it. I've seen just how, just the type of energy that you got back from different artists, from the public, and just people that are appreciative of the fact that you want to do it again. Yeah. How does that feel for you? That feels, you know, it's, it is humbling. Cause I never like to assume that people like, you looking at your phone, you bored? I'm so sorry. I'm not entertaining enough. No. Okay. No, no. Don't you do this. Someone must be in the hospital. I'm so sorry. Yeah. That's the only thing that would have. Yeah. They're back to life though. No, but you know, you never know. Like it's, it's, it's, it's like, I feel like sometimes like there's a few things going on with me because on one hand, you never know, like if people like your stuff, and I just mean just generally, like if they like your music, not a particular song, but maybe they just don't like it. Or I feel like when I went, when I went through this whole experience of like becoming like a recording artist, it's not like I was a kid doing it first, right? I went to college, I went to high school. I worked in like KFC, like, hi, welcome to KFC. Would you like, you know, would you like a cool creamy dessert with that? You know, we had to ask that at the end. I had like these very like Americana type situation growing. I was a bagger at the grocery store. You know what I mean? Like, so for me to come into it was not like, I never confused it for who I am is what I do. Making music is who I am, being an artist, I am an artist, like period, right? You're just an artist. But I never felt like when I got in the music business, like this is who I am, it's like, no, this is what I do. And people love me, but what they really mean is that they love how I make them feel. So I never got it twisted, right? So to feel like getting the love that I get, it always feels like surprise to me. And it also feels unexpected, you know? Like, oh wow, really? Like it's just, I don't know what, well, I hope I don't lose that because then maybe I would be taking that for granted. So I think I'm still getting used to it probably. Sorry, I was just giggling because it's different from the ladies and the fellas sometimes. Why are you looking at it like that? Because you know what, my fan base is like 60% men actually. Most R&B is like women fan base. But my fan base is oddly like half and half with a little bit more male. So- What the fuck was you? You know what, I think it is, I think it actually is because it's a really great blend of hip hop and R&B as far as like when it came out, like the sound at that time. A lot of guys that didn't listen to it. Yeah. As a man, you don't feel weird listening to it. I got a lot of that. They were like, you know, I don't normally listen to, I don't normally do this, but I listen to it. Fuck what you, I think it's a, I think another great part of that is you've, and it's weird, I don't know, maybe you've kind of figured this out on purpose, but it's like being sexy, being beautiful, but not being sexualized. Oh thanks. I told you I'm outside, it's a new day, take you in and see these new things. You're not, you said you didn't wanna be outside. No, not actually. It's a thing where it's never been viewed as extra or too much. I like soft sexy. That's what I actually told my team when I first came out. I was like, listen, one, I don't, I was like, I'm in charge of me. I was like, I definitely am all for, I love short shorts, you all already see me in my short shorts, I wore short shorts in school, but if I do any bikini stuff, it's kind of because I wanna do it. I'm not gonna let anybody just go in and try to sell me or whatever, which actually was cool, because actually the label actually was kind of more, like Donnie Einer was the head of the label at the time. He actually thought that the cover of my back cover, the album was too much. It was like, it was really just like, kind of what would be equivalent to boy shorts or biker shorts, like to here with my legs out from the side. It was a great pick, but he was like, what is this? I heard about the meeting. What is this? She's all, oh, there in the thing, you know? He was like, he wasn't pleased, but I was me, and that's what I wanted. So for me, it was like really important to like own my own sexuality, you know what I mean? But then I also told him too, my personality, I was like, I'm not a hard sexy person. That's not my vibe. My vibe is more like soft, sexy, and more sensual. Like that's as far as like an aesthetic. So as long as we stay in that direction, I'm gonna be good. So you guys know who I am. You guys did a great job of that. Thank you. Great job of that. And I don't wanna lead with that though. I was like, let's remember it's about the music because I don't want it to just be. Which is why I think the music was able to do it, do what it did, because it wasn't anything overshadowing it. You know what I mean? It was like I said before, it was a good blend of all those things. Thank you. So we're happy because we don't like when, we don't like when our classic artists aren't around. We just don't. Yeah, I think I feel like so happy because I feel like people are really appreciating R&B and you have so many artists who are really doing it, but they're so, like I feel like almost like a resurgence of fans. Like the brand new fans with like the TikTok era. There's so many people who are getting exposed to the music and appreciating it. So it's like new all over again, which is amazing. And you know, let's be real. So many of us, so many artists pretty much look the same. I can name so many guys and so many girls that are men and women, female artists, male artists who do look the same. And so it's like that kind of helps I think connect with like the different generation or whatever. So everyone's just doing their thing. And I'm happy for that. I'm happy to be a part of it. We age different than they did back in the day. It's a different time. It's a different time. I think it was like different. Different makeup. I was just thinking that because it's different water. I don't know what it is. I think it's, you know what I think it could be. I think a lot of aging has to do with your mentality. And I think with music, music keeps you young, but also like our like culturally just generally across the population. We kind of, you know, back in the old days, like our parents and their parents, they would listen to different music from what the kids were listening to. Now everyone kind of listens to the same music. We're kind of wearing the same clothes. We kind of, you're allowed to kind of still in your mind be feeling like whatever you feel without feeling like you have to now you're this and now you have to look like that. You have to grow out of things. Yeah. It's just like more like growing into yourself. But, you know, aging and stuff, that's like, it's all like a matter of mine too. I mean, I say that slight digression, just very slight. I promise, you know, because I was talking to my dad about like aging, like just programming and they were like, you know, even when people sing happy birthday, those are all like little programs because it gets into a person's mind, oh, you're this and aging means that and another year older versus like time existing on a certain level on this plane, but not really. You know what I mean? It's like, it's not, not totally. A lot of it is programming. And my dad's like, well, you know, things get older. I was like, they do daddy, but think about it. Alligators, think about trees. I was like, there's this one little like squid or something like that. Because zolotil, I can't even pronounce the word, but that little squid goes from like a polyp in the ocean and starts to have little legs, swims about. And then once it hits a certain point, the legs start to retract and it reverse ages back into a little polyp, a little dot, and then it starts over again. So the scientists aren't really sure how long that lives. I say that to illustrate the concept that aging as we see it, aging as we think it is not just like this chronological single directional thing. It's a lot of it. There's so many different possibilities on a physical level. That's before you even enter like the mind, body connection to it, like the spiritual aspect to it, just on a physical level. And then you want to talk about like in the ancient times when people were living to be like 300, 400, 500, 600 years old for reasons we won't get into on this podcast because I make it too long and too much about that aggression. But. Yep. You got to show up on time next time. She would. She would. That was book club. I'm saying that to me. All my available right now. Available. He's about to act really talented and play us a selection. Hopefully soft and sexy. Something soft and sexy. Because that's my vibe. As I play these soft and sexy tunes. Oh, no. Now it's getting to the part that I was anxious about. We're not going to be anxious at all. We're going to be soft and just a couple of questions. Sexy things we might want to know. OK. Doing our soft and sexy mode and vibe. We there is information that we need. The people want to know. They want to know champ. Amory, what you heard? Top five. Your top five is soft and sexy. Top five. Your top five. Your top five. All these singers. All in these songs. Yeah. We've got to know before you go. Here on this show. Seven, nine and eight. Your top five. Yes. Top five. Your top five. Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo! Amory. Your top five R&B singers. OK. Top five R&B singers. Mary J. Blige. Come on, Mary. Michael Jackson. Yes. Marvin Gaye. These are my influences. Oh, they're all M's. David Ruffin. I was like, you're dead. You're dead. I was like, you're dead. Like, it's a big influence. It's also one of my dad's favorite singers as well. Number five is hard because Sam Cooke is another influence of mine. Like, Marvin Gaye really influenced me as far as like his wall of sound, his melodies, his approaches. Like, those background vocal, like, like, um, vocal arrangements. But Sam Cooke's simplicity and a lot of these are like my dad's influences too, or as far as like from his influence. Sam Cooke, what I really got from Sam, what I learned from him was that you don't have to do a lot of vocal acrobatics. It was like the simple, like, clean delivery. Yeah. But the reason why I'm like, oh, it's like an asterisk, because I could say Sam Cooke, but then I also want to put in, oh, it's R&B, OK, OK. Because what I was about to say, it was not R&B though, it was like musical. It was like a soundtrack, like, um... Nigga, you could throw in John Travote to me. That time, like, kind of like, or like, Hauling Oats, you know what I mean? Like, there's those, but the kind of R&B, kind of sometimes. You could go White Nigga in here. Who'd, who'd, I think it would be like, Hauling Oats. That's, there's a duo, right? It was number five? Oh, but no, I can't, Mr. Sam Cooke, I gotta have, I gotta have Sam. The full Sam in there? Like, man, I don't really do a lot of those vocal acrobatics. Like, when I was in high school, and should I try, but I was like, no, you shouldn't. And I would listen to him a lot, to be like, just capture, capture that. OK. You don't need that. All right, all right, OK, OK. Top five R&B songs. What is more? Oh, no. OK, moments of love. That's the instrumentation. I don't know if it's R&B, but kind of, right? We rollin' with it. We rollin'. OK, yeah. Emotional love. There's so many great ones. Man, Mary's whole, like, my life album. But if she did that, use the sample. The All Night Long? That whole album, though. That whole album. But I think for her, it was called, maybe it was All Night, did she call it All Night Long, too? I always did, because I just knew the sample. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So, no, we're gonna go with Real Love. Because that's when I was introduced. And I was like, what is this? What is this sound? What was this? Yeah, that would change. So, as a moment of love. Real Love. There's so many. I can't just say artist. No, this is the songs. OK. Cry for you, maybe. Why not? Why not? Don't gotta be a baby. Why not? Cry for you. Why not? OK. Because it's just so great. Yeah. What's the title? If This World Were Mine? Luther Von Drossin and I don't think it... He did a duet version, too. They added his... No, no. It's not duet. Is This World Were Mine, right? Oh, but also, I think Sametra Realm and Marvin did that, too. But I love the Luther version. Both of those were good. Did they do the two versions? You guys know everything. We don't know everything, but yes, there were two versions. Tammy Terrell and... And Marvin and Luther, right? Luther version was pretty serious. I always go with that song because both of the versions were good. Dang, is that five already? Because I was also going to say her through the grapevine, too. That's kind of old. Top six. I said top eight. OK, let's make a voltage on your super R&B artists. Right? OK. You gotta pick any artist in the history of artisism and get the vocal, performance style, styling, passion of the artist. Huh? Yeah, yeah, yeah. You asked me a lot. Wait, I wasn't prepared for this question. Here we go. Where are you going to get the vocal from to make your super R&B artist one vocal? You're making the best artist ever. One vocal. But there's so many different flips. It's not really one. I almost want to say maybe I have to go for maybe Michael Jackson. Come on. Michael Jackson? Sold? Yeah, OK. Sold, OK, all right, all right. You sure? I don't want you to be unsure about this. I'm going to be unsure. I'm already letting you know. I'm walking into this with uncertainty. OK, we're going to scratch you. Michael Jackson. Performance style. These are men and women, right? So we're beginning the essence. Just greatness. I would say Chris Brown. Michael Jackson, Chris Brown. I like it. Styling, the styling, the drip of the artist. Still going to get fly. Styling. I want to look to a woman for this. Wait, styling? Like, is it stage styling? Stage styling? Yeah. I would say Beyonce or Cher or something, right? Because that could be and this could be a male artist too, so I would say that taking the essence, if we're looking at, if someone's imagining a male artist, taking the essence of what they're bringing to the styling. And if we're a female artist and taking the blend of a Cher and a Beyonce, yeah. Beyonce Cher or Cher? Yeah. Actually, because Beyonce does a lot of the razzle-dazzle already and Cher does that too, so I would say Beyonce and Rihanna. Because it gets a little bit, bringing in two different elements. Yeah, a little blend. Different kind of blend. Different blend. Because you're outside. I know where you're going with this. Got it. I don't. Where am I going with this? The passion of the artist. Who means it. Who makes you believe it. Who works hard. Gives it everything they got. Leaves it all out there on the stage. James Brown? It's been a lot of James Brown. Has there? James. Lot of James. The original Brown. Lot of James. Can't have R&B done Brown. I was actually considering switching the two. Because it was like that, leaves it on the stage like that. But then I was like, no, because I know I was like, I've got to go old. Old school. Not old, but go old school. James left the hair on the stage. I think people would like going out there and fainting and then pulling the cape. Sweat. Full sweat. I like that Vodron. Was there another one? I completed the Vodron. That was pretty good if I do say so myself. Amen. Yes. I think I have to add myself in there somehow. You're going to manage them. No, I couldn't. You were getting money? Were you getting money for this? They were like, where's my money? I'm like, oh wait. What else you got for us, champ? Here we go. I ain't saying no names. I ain't saying no names. I ain't saying no names. We was moved. We was with what you did. Don't say shit. I ain't saying no names. That's it. That's it. That's it. That's it. That's it. That's it. That's it. That's it. That's it. That's it. That's it. That's it. Let me say the names. Come on, tell us all the names you've been blocking the DMs. Come on, you tell us. I have not, we've talked about that. I don't believe in blocking people. I just pretend I don't see them. That's a whole other type of plot. Okay. Don't wanna make anywhere feel bad. But if I haven't seen it up, these chances are that I actually haven't seen it though. Just putting that out there. Okay. So this is, A. Marie's, I ain't saying no names. I ain't saying no names. Well, one time, I had to be in camp, no kidding. Okay, so I was doing the show. And there was an old gentleman that was part of the show. And I walked down, they left their dressing room open and they were just chilling out there. Stories not going where people think. But I just like, you know, I just wanted to say hi. And so I was like, oh, I just wanted to say hi. Cause it was open, people were coming in and out. And I saw them fixing their hairline. With a Sharpie. And I said, oh, you know, Mr. Such and Such, there's like products for that. I've seen like the guys do their lineups. And he was like, this worked for me for years. I'm gonna keep on using it. And I was like, well, he was like, don't come up when you sweat. And I was like, well, is this good? It is staged this far. I was like, but they do have products but whatever works for you. And that was it. See, I told you it wasn't that like major. He was hating on the. I wasn't hating on it, but there was. It was really, I was really like shocked cause I was like, they do actually have product. But you know, his lineup was clean. He had perfected it. It was a black Sharpie. Like a black one. Not even dark brown, like black. It was like. It had to go with the rest of the dye. So it had to be jet black. But then I was like, it makes sense. So I started thinking, I looked at other pictures cause I had to go back and see. And I was like, this Sharpie. Sharpie. The fact that you called him Mr. Oh yeah. Made him probably feel like, hey, this is a bitch. I don't know what to call a gentleman. There are products for that. There are products for that. There are products. Find your barber to get you the magic, the right magic. If you need help, I know a few. Get you some fire. But Sharpie works in a bind. Use a little magic myself every now and then. Sharpie works in a bind. No, it doesn't. It does. If it's dark, if you going on a date. Don't do it. If you're going on a date. Don't trust her. You know what you don't even gotta do that. Cause this is gonna call you Mr. Such and Such. Oh yeah, like Mr. Such and Such. I don't know the agent, what she wanna say. Do older men not like it when you say Mr. Ever? You call me Mr. All Day Love. I come from the color purple, daddy. Go ahead, call me Mr. I was gonna say nothing Mr. But I was like, how about daddy? That's actually another, now we're just going somewhere. But y'all aren't, y'all are guys, I should ask. Cause we had this whole conversation with girls. Since we're talking about, I don't even know how we got to that. Oh, so you can call me Mr. All You Want. That made me think, oh, daddy. What do you think about when women call men daddy? I think that there's a time and place. But not just generally? No. Like daddy, can I have a, or? A significant yeah, but random absolutely. No, not random, I'm talking about if that's the person. A significant yeah. Oh, okay, so anyway. Some people think it's gross, some people, but I was also talking to a bunch of women. So this is my first time I'm asking men. No. What do you think about that? Cause people say Poppy? Yeah, it ain't true. See, I'm not Spanish, so don't call me Poppy. I'm not Poppy, but daddy. Yeah, I'm saying. I'm black, call me daddy. Court, what are your thoughts on that? I live in my provider space. You like it, see, I like it. Whatever you wanna, yeah. Whatever you wanna call me in that provider space, you can call me. I'll accept that. I never tried that. I did go to Coachella with my dad. They were like, why you taking dad to Coachella? I was like, this is my first time going to Coachella. And I was just like, I want daddy to like, you know, experience it. But when we were there, I would say, you know, okay, daddy, let's go daddy. And I was like, I couldn't. I was pricing people to thought that y'all have some shit going on. A couple people look a little, and I was like, daddy, I can't call you that. Maybe like, yeah, he bamboozled. Your dad, you hear you like dad. He person, cake, oh, I'm paying for that. He put the bag on the line, I'm gonna rub up. He got the A-murray. Oh, you got the A-murray. I'm like, come and put dad. That cost. Ladies and gentlemen, listen, first of all, thank you. Thank you so much. Thank you for having me. We appreciate you being here. Thank you guys. We appreciate the classics. We appreciate the newness. We really appreciate that. We are happy you are back. Thank you. It feels really good to be back in and here. And you coming back to perform for us at some point. I am, we talked to, we talked to, and obviously I'm ready. You see that stage right there. I see. We gonna set it up. I see. Get the lighting right, because I know how you feel about lighting. Yeah, and the lighting is really great actually. Yeah, we are. So, you know, guys. Yeah, we're gonna get you right. It's kind of like professional. I wish we could. I wish we could. If you look around, man, it's a good place, man. Shout out to the Sunroofs, man. Yeah, yeah. Taking care of us, man. But we thank you. And you already know. Anytime you need us, as you wear a call away. I am going to remember that. You know that. Because you know, I will be like, so I'm thinking about this. What do you think about that? Easy. I take the car. You know that. Easy work. There it is. Ladies and gentlemen, my name is Tank. I'm Jay Valentine. And this is the R&B Money Podcast, the authority on all things R&B. This has been Music in Books, brought to you by none other than Avery. Thank you, guys. This is an I Heart Podcast.