We're Moving Home And I'm Not Letting My UNEMPLOYED Husband Come With Us | Reading Reddit

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Then you can redeem those points at millions of places online with PayPal. No fees, no caps, or limits. Sign up for PayPal Plus for free in the app. Pay Smarter PayPal. Rewards are earned as points through PayPal Plus. You must be enrolled to earn rewards. Eligible purchases only. Teas and seas apply. Lord Sugar's ruthless interviews are back. Don't mess it up. Which means, hustle is going to get grilled. You haven't even got a recipe. You haven't even got a manufacturer. Are you joking? Gonna get crushed. That couldn't have gone any worse. I don't want to cry. I'm actually done with this. Gonna go home. I don't have any confidence in your business. You're fired. The Apprentice continues Thursday on BBC iPlayer. Hey, Waffle Gang, I do hope you are well. My name is Mark, and today we're checking out some more Reddit stories. And if you do love a Reddit story, why not consider hitting the like, subscribe, maybe that notification bell too. And let's crack on with today's first story. Much love, guys. Now, today's first story comes from the Relationship Advice subreddit. And it says, Is it fair of me, 27 female, to tell my husband, 34 male, that he can't move in with us if he isn't employed? So try and sum this up as simply as possible. You got fired from a great job in January. Since then, he has tried maybe two or three odd jobs. None of them very well paying or lasting more than a couple of weeks. He's contributed less than maybe 2000 to our family this year. We have two two-year-olds together. I've made about all the sacrifices I could to keep us afloat. We went into credit card debt, worked two jobs at times, I make about 53k a year and work extra odd shifts for the overtime. But yeah, I gave up having an apartment this past summer because of debt accumulating. Recently, my parents offered to watch the kids more full-time so I don't have to pay for daycare, which would allow me to afford to support the three of us somewhat decently and get an apartment. I told him that if he can't get a job, like anything, I'll even take 10 hours just to come help me. That he can't come with us. I can't support him too. He has no disabilities that would prevent him from working. I know it's a tough market. I know that, but we are coming up on a year and I just can't stomach him being in our apartment doing nothing. Well, our kids are taking care of so we can work in any way possible. So if he can't do this, is it fair for me to say he can't come with us? It's about why I was paying for daycare. To clarify, I had my kids in a two-day educational program. It was hard to afford, but I was doing it for their benefit. They are smart and deserved hands-on and the social aspect. My mum is offered to take this over for us until I'm more financially secure, so not daycare, more like school curriculum. I switched from working from home position earlier this year for more pay. Up until that point, I was the kids primary care and working and finishing a degree. It's been a crazy year of transition. I'm just tired and confused and I just want stability for myself and my children. I grappled a lot for what's best for my kids. I'm new to the whole school and daycare thing, trying to do the best by the kids. He's a good dad. He loves them. He's failing me as an equal partner though. I was curious to what the guy was actually doing in this because there was a line in it where OP said she doesn't want him at the apartment just doing nothing. Does that mean literally he was doing nothing like not even caring for the kids or he wouldn't be doing stuff around the house either. He wouldn't cook in this time where he's doing nothing else. Whilst OP seems to sacrifice everything, carrying the full financial weight of their family, gone into debt, worked multiple jobs, sacrificed their living situation. There's a lot more in the background of this than this particular story. It doesn't feel like there's a partnership there or anything. It kind of feels like it's only going to go one way, but I don't know. Lizzie Yote says, and quotes, I'll even take 10 hours and then says stop begging for the bare minimum. All it will do is teach him to do the bare minimum and even that will only be in short bursts. He's going to do just barely enough until you let out a sigh of relief. Once you're off his arse, he'll stop even that little bit of effort again. Live separately until he can prove to be a functioning adult again. Right now you're treating him like a teenager. That kinky lady says, if he doesn't have any medical issues, he needs to be full-time at least. The fact that OP has had to juggle multiple jobs, go into school, and be working from home, but handling childcare at the same time is insane. 10 hours. I'd be demanding a divorce by this point. He isn't a good dad if he isn't able to financially provide for his children at all. It'd be different if they agreed to him being a stay at home dad, but sure doesn't sound like it. I'd say separation. He gets something that has him working full-time hours and couples counseling minimum to prevent a divorce. This is crazy. So it was five days later that OP comes in with their update and starts off by saying, I wasn't honest in my first post. Just like I'm not honest and lie to most people in my life right now, I guess it is the unbelievable amount of shame I carry. It is true that my husband was fired in January. The real reason is because he had a workplace injury the previous summer. He completely tore up his knee, had major surgery, rehab. The company was extremely helpful in his recovery. Then his prescriptions ran out. Found out later he started buying pain pills off the streets, which yeah, isn't oxy whatever. It's basically just fentanyl these days. So a consequence of ramping up addiction, he could no longer hide. I'd kicked him out. Then he got fired. He went through periods of inpatient and outpatient and AA and therapy and suboxone, maybe. And drugs for depression and drugs for anxiety and everything else we could think of. And all the while we were living separate lives because he was a danger to children. Why am I still so attached? How the fuck was any of us supposed to foresee this happening? You fall deeply in love, you get the rings and the kids. Life is going pretty good. Always with his challenges, but that is just like life. It is fucking hard. I'm not even sure what the point of my post was. It didn't really make much sense because yeah, he is an able person. I can't just get a job. Come on dude, or be a stay at home dad. You're out of love to give him that privilege, if only. But people with substance issues can't really keep a job. Definitely can't be around kids. A lot of people read my post, took time out of their day. Most of it was just criticising us, but I mean, that is what everyone does to everybody most of the time in real life too. Still, I've been feeling some type of way about it all being based on a lie. I want a life with him. He does love his kids. This isn't how it was supposed to go. Then to top it all off, he has because of his addiction issues, of course, slick five charges in the last five months or so. If I'm wrecking cars first, then whatever family was stupid enough to allow him to drive. Legally isn't allowed to drive. After I posted this, he got arrested for driving without a license. I really wasn't sure how in the fucking world I could salvage our relationship. Love was the only thing keeping me from cutting him off completely. His family and I are going to push for him remaining in jail slash then prison, and hopefully get him placed in hopefully a more substance recovery based program. But you all know how fucked the US prison systems are. Most likely he will be general population. Yet even worse mentally, and God forbid it, but may eventually be saying final goodbyes. My priority at this point is past protecting him and moved on to protecting the general public from him. For now, at least he is safe, if you consider jail slash prison safe. Which I sure as shit don't, but at least he won't OD, right? Repeat to myself it is out of my hands, just like this whole experience has been. Fuck you all, I don't even know anymore. My family says they are proud of me for holding it together. I'm sure they are disappointed in a lot of things I've done. Not just keeping the door open this long. I've been so dumb throughout my 20s, I know I can do better in my decision making. Most of all, I want stability for my children. I've decided that I will be serving him with divorce papers once he gets sufficiently sentenced. It is just a damn shame. I love the person he was before all this chaos. So much. You all don't even know. Him holding our two little twins in the hospital. The dad who cried when I gave him a card saying, baby A loves you and we'll see you soon daddy. This was after something like after my 20th month scan. I can't specifically remember now. Then I handed him a second card that said baby B loves you too and can't wait to meet you as well. I cry every time I think about that. I'm crying right now. How do I accept that I can't have that life with him? I just don't know. I'm just so heartbroken. In short, yeah, we will be moving into the apartment without him. We will be moving on completely in life without him. Maybe one day he can join us again and we will have more special and meaningful days. Maybe not. It's out of my hands. I appreciate your. You all can tear me up for all this. That's perfectly fine. I deserve it too. I'm not a saint. I've said horrible things to him throughout this time. I've been so angry and resentful for how this past year and a half has played out. But I'm ready to finally move on. I'm just going to leave this here and probably not return to this account. Those of you out there that are dealing with anything like I have. I'm so fucking sorry. It destroys not just the addict's life as long as you care about them. And it isn't ever, ever easy to say goodbye to someone you love. Not in normal circumstances or the extreme. Just know that you are not alone. I tried our and on but wasn't able to establish a community. There are resources and genuinely caring people and support out there if you need that. Take care, y'all. Let's face it, OP wasn't lying to us. She was just lying to herself because the truth is just too hard to face. This is a fucking heartbreaking story. Her husband's an addict who sounds like he's just spiraled after a workplace injury. An OP talking about the memories of him when he received those cards and everything is just it's tearing me up honestly. And in some ways it just sounds like she's grieving the loss of her husband while he's still alive. I mean she's been keeping the door open hoping that this guy is just going to turn around and be the man he once was and have the life they were supposed to have. But in the end she is showing incredible strength by choosing a kid's safety in this situation. And I really do think she did the right thing in this. I mean what else could she do? But what do you guys make of this situation? Let us know your thoughts down in the comments below. Let's move on to another story. Well apart from where you left your keys which have actually been in your hand the whole time. In a few years you've been in the world of drugs and drugs and drugs and drugs and drugs. And you've been in the world of drugs and drugs and drugs and drugs and drugs and drugs and drugs. And you've been in the world of drugs and drugs and drugs and drugs and drugs and drugs and drugs. And you've been in the world of drugs and drugs and drugs and drugs and drugs and drugs and drugs. Have actually been in your hand the whole time. Innocent orange juice is a source of vitamin C which contributes to the normal function of the immune system. Enjoys part of a healthy lifestyle and balanced diet. Now our next story comes from Pastor Sister-in-law who says am I the asshole for losing my temper as Sister-in-law after she ruined the meal I made. My Sister-in-law Ashley is for the lack of a nice word obnoxious. She constantly does whatever she wants even when you ask her not to. She thinks she's right above everyone else. Even when she's dead wrong. And she's just got this very stereotypical baby sister attitude where she acts like she can do whatever she wants and nobody is allowed to be mad at her because she's the baby. Yes that's something she regularly says. My husband says she's the youngest of their family so her acting that way is normal. I pointed out I'm the youngest of my family and I've never acted that way. I don't like Sister-in-law but I've been polite and kept a peaceful relationship for my husband's sake. Until today, today was the first time since 2019 that my husband or I have been able to see our small friend group in person. We all got our shots two months ago and decided to meet up finally for dinner. I cooked while our friends either pitched in ingredients, made appetizers or brought wine. I made pasta ravioli by hand which was hard. I made enough for me, hubs and our friend. But after they arrived then we all caught up while I was finishing the food. Sister-in-law showed up. She let herself in and greeted everyone happily. They know her and said hi but I suddenly asked hubs what she was doing here. Turns out he mentioned the gathering to her and he guessed she assumed she was invited. I told him to tell her to leave because she can't just invite herself like this. He said that would be humiliating for her and asked if she could stay. I was annoyed but agreed. Things were fine at the start. I had a few sips of wine to relax and was about to plate everyone's food at the kitchen island and bring it to them but forgot Parmesan so went to get it. I heard Sister-in-law say she'd help bring the food to the table. I said no thanks and to stay seated. My back was to her and she said something I missed because of the loud clang of the pot hitting the floor. I heard everyone gasp and I closed my eyes. I knew what happened but didn't want to look. When I did I just started crying. Hours of work was splattered on the floor. Sister-in-law said it was okay. It was just some pasta I'll buy more. I lost it. I called her a stupid bitch that ruined the entire dinner because she refuses to listen. She started boo-hooing and I told her to shut up and leave. She ran out crying and I sat down to cry too. Our friends consoled me and Hubs tried to say I went too far. But our friends told him he was an asshole and Sister-in-law was in the wrong. They helped clean and we ordered pizza. But after they left Hubs and I were flooded with calls from his family saying it was a horrible spoiled brat who made their baby cry over some stupid food. Now I'm just crying and feeling like garbage. Did I go too far? I don't usually get angry or curse. Am I the asshole? Now of course absolutely not the asshole in this situation. In this one of those ones where it's you haven't got a sister-in-law problem. You've got a husband problem. You know husband at least mentioned this in a situation. Knowing that she'd probably invite herself. When she did turn up your husband refused to tell her to go home because it would humiliate her. And it just seems like husband and his family of course prioritises sisters feelings over you at every single turn. And it just sounds like you swore because it was the straw that broke the camels back in this situation. But some comments from OP says the first one says she's 31. Another one says he's closest in age to her and puts up with her stuff the least. Especially after we got together. I think sometimes his family just wears him down. I don't usually flip out like that. I'm very level headed. But seeing my hours of hard work dumped on the floor just broke me. God it took so much time. Hand making ravioli is ugh. OP also says I didn't have the word limit to include it. But this is not the first time she's broken, damaged, etc. Something because she refuses to listen to those around her. I don't know why she insists she has to touch everything. Some days I just want to scold her like my nieces and nephews. Look with your eyes, not your hands. OP also says I don't understand why she was trying to take the whole pot to the table in the first place. Had plates set out to fill and serve to everyone at the island. All she had to do was stay seated for once. It was my first time making a pescetarian pasta dish because our friend Jenny doesn't eat any land meat. I was so proud how they came out. The first 10 or so were kind of wonky but I eventually got the hang of it and was so excited to have everyone try them. I was already annoyed that I was going to have to take one ravioli from everyone so sister-in-law could eat too. Because while I made about three extra just in case, one or two fell apart or burned or whatever. It wasn't enough for a seventh person. But then she dropped the entire pot and I swear if I hadn't started crying I'd have killed her. And one more that says unless she tuned everyone out around her the minute she sat at the table then no. She knew the ravioli were homemade. It got brought up multiple times. So OP gives the first update which says Hubs says he understands I'm upset the food was wasted but he doesn't think my outburst was warranted and was actually kind of extreme. Tomorrow is his day off and I told him he's going to be making the dish like I did by hand and on his own. And then at the end we'll see if he thinks my outburst was unwarranted. Update 2. Well Hubs made pasta for the first time today and it went much like I'd anticipated. He was all confident and it'd be easy during the first 30 minutes. But towards the end of the first hour that disappeared as the burn in his arms really set in from making enough dough for almost 60 ravioli. I did not lift the finger to help him need since I didn't get any help when I did it. After the dough was done and wrapped up in the fridge he made the filling which took another 40 or so minutes. Then the dough was brought out and he had to start crafting the ravioli. Or by hand after rolling the dough out. Lord that went on for ages. Just rolling some dough out, cutting out squares, filling them and putting the top on. Rinse and repeat until the dough and filling was all gone. All in all the entire cooking process from start to finish for him on his own took a little over 4 hours. That's with us not actually cooking any of the ravioli. Also he didn't make any sauce or cook any shrimp for the ravioli to be served in slash with. Also he didn't prepare any salad to go with it. And when I told him this that there was still more to do he almost started crying. He started saying sorry at the one hour mark and hasn't stopped apologizing since. We had a long talk about his sister and the dinner she ruined. The other time she pulled similar incidents, there's a lot and how him and his family always let her get away with it. He says he knows how they treat her isn't normal and he doesn't like it but was just raised to go with the flow regarding Ashley. But he said he's going to call her and tell her we need to get some space from her for now. Update 3 Hubs just got a message from his cousin of Ashley laughing and bragging about intentionally spilling the pasta to teach me a lesson for being such a snobby bitch. A handful of you all thought she did it on purpose but I didn't actually think she did until hearing her admit to it. I've never seen my husband this pissed off before. I don't know what's going to happen now. So it was three and a half months later that I became in with another update and said Hi everyone so so much has happened since the past of fiasco that I'd honestly completely forgotten about this account until this morning. When I logged on I saw that I had a bunch of requests for an update so here I am. I was going to post this in an edit on my original post but it ended up being way too long. Someone said I should post it in the comments but they are locked so I decided just to make my own post and put a link to it in the original Am I the Arsall post since I'm not sure how to do an official update post on the Am I the Arsall sub. Sorry. So for the update, like I said, a lot has happened since then. I'll try to remember all of it but be warned I'm just going to put down everything as I remember it and try to make it in order. And it's been like four months so I might not do it perfectly. Here goes. So Sister-in-law bragged to her and Hubbs cousin, Brenda, that she ruined the dinner on purpose. Hubbs went to confront his family. Sister-in-law denied everything until Hubbs played the recording. Hubbs banned Sister-in-law from our house until she apologized to me sincerely and reimbursed us for all the wasted food. Sister-in-law went ballistic, sobbing and throwing a massive tantrum until Mother-in-law tried to calm her down and scolded Hubbs for choosing some flusy over your blood family. Hubbs apparently flipped and called out his family on their weird babying of Sister-in-law, saying they made her into a spoiled monster. This started a huge screaming match between all of them before Hubbs said he wasn't speaking to them for the foreseeable future before storming out. That's when he called me and told me to block all of his family. And before I could hang up, I started getting tons of calls and texts from all of them, just saying the most hateful stuff to me. All of my socials from my personal Insta to my work email were bombarded with hate until I managed to block all of them, but it took weeks for them to all stop. Only people in Hubbs' family who weren't harassing us were his paternal grandparents, his maternal grandmother, a few of his cousins on both sides and his paternal aunts and uncles. Actually, I think all of the hate was from his maternal side, though not all of them. After blocking them, all things were peaceful into a few weeks later, our friends, Kelly's car was vandalized really bad when she stayed at our house for the weekend. I'm talking the sides were keyed, all the tires were slashed, the windows were spray painted, and it even tore off the tag and shoved it down the driver's side door where the window slides down. We checked the doorbell cam and it was Sister-in-law and Brother-in-law. Seems they mistook Kelly's car for mine. I lent my car to my mum since hers needed new tires and I could use Hubbs if needed. Since both Kelly and my car are black. Needless to say, we called the cops and Kelly pressed charges on both of them. Thankfully with the video evidence, she said she was able to make a no-fault claim against Ashley, who had insurance and Kelly got a repairs paid for, though barely. Sister-in-law and Brother-in-law getting arrested caused a huge rift in Hubbs' family between those who don't think it was necessary that they be arrested. Most think they should have just paid for repairs out of pocket and those who think that they got what was coming to them. Also, the arrest cost Brother-in-law his job at a university. Hubbs' cousin Brenda, who is keeping us in the loop, told us that anyways, we didn't look into it. Brenda also informed us that during the whole family drama thing, it was revealed that Ashley is only their half-sister, according to the maternal grandmother anyways. Seems she verbally told Mother-in-law to pieces after Mother-in-law insinuated Sister-in-law hadn't done anything to deserve this treatment. Brenda said their grandmother said, you felt bad that your husband didn't love her because he knew she was just your shameful affair baby, so you loved her more than your other kids in some twisted effort to make up for it. And you pulled your other kids into doing it too, and all you did was succeed in spoiling her rotten. Brenda told us more, but that part was what really stuck in my mind. Honestly, hearing all of that was unbelievable for me. I had no idea this level of drama was buried in my husband's family. And again, neither did he, and all of this snowballed from a ruined ravioli dinner. Hubbs and I have decided to distance ourselves from that part of his family for now. After handing Kelly a copy of the video of Sister-in-law and Brother-in-law tearing up her car, we all more or less washed our hands of dealing with them all. And I've been way less stressed lately. Hubbs too, we both noticed, so not a terrible end. Not sure who will see this update, but I'll be logging out of this account after a while, since I think everything is mostly over. Thanks for reading, and extra thanks for everyone who sent me so many kind messages after my first post. It made me feel a lot better. Bloody hell. It's like that Rombergadine meme, isn't it? That really got out of hand. I was glad to just see husband in this as well, step up and take the necessary steps that had to happen. OP said at the end, you know, they think this is mostly over. And OP never did any further updates on this post either, but I always think with a family like that, trouble is never too far away, right? People like Sister-in-law, Brother-in-law will always sit there and stew, no matter what kind of trouble they get in. I knew people just like them, I think. But it seemed in the end of that one, all's well that ends well. But what do you guys make of this situation? Let us know your thoughts down in the comments below. Now, just a huge thank you for being here today, getting involved in the stories, your love, your support, your time. It always means the absolute world to me. So thank you so, so much for being involved truly. It's absolutely amazing. Thank you so much, and I'll see you in the next one. Take care and much love. you