Rich Eisen: Never Skip the Intro

Goodell says he uses that picture of me in that hat in the NFL PowerPoint. Yeah, because you're rocking the shield, sir. The shield. I play for the shield. Hey, everybody. It's me, Rich Eisen. the great sports mind is on the show today. We're talking today just before the Super Bowl and Bill Belichick, a lot of good football news. Bill Belichick did not make the Hall of Fame on the first ballot. There's nobody I'd rather talk to about this kind of stuff than Rich. So I'm putting on my cleats and my helmet and we're getting at it. I'm so glad I'm able to finally return the favor to you. I know. How many years have you and I been talking? A long time. A long time? Yeah. Yeah. Don't you think? I mean, for sure. Yeah. At least 15, I would think. If I had to peg it, 20. Fuck. I know. I've been out in L.A. 23 years now. That is insane. Yeah. Yeah. I've been out here 23 years. My last sports center was in 2003. I mean, how much has the world, the change, the sports world changed, sports center changed? Big time. Totally. I mean, if you had to pick the, the single two or three biggest headlines in sports that are different than 10, 20 years ago. Yeah. Let's go 15 years ago. Sure. What would they be? Okay, let's do this. Let's do this. Here's what we're going to do. Sure. We're going to do by sport. Okay. And we're going to compare notes. Okay. Let's start with, well, we're in the middle of football. We're not in the middle of football. Towards the end, yeah. So let's go with football. Oh, God. Anything gambling. Oh, yeah, of course. Anything gambling. Of course. You know, like when we first started NFL Network in 03, when we first started it, it was anything to do with gambling, anything to do with remotely close to gambling was verboten. Right. They'd jump all over you. Right. And now there's like two or three official gambling partners of the National Football League. You know, and then we on NFL game day morning on our Sunday morning show, we'll have a segment at the end of our first hour all the time. It's called, you know, hurry up offense where we come up with 10 to 12 quick hitters for each 60 seconds on the clock. And I ask of all my colleagues, It was Mariucci and Kurt Warner and Gerald McCoy. And prior to that was Irv, Michael Irvin. And they're all questions that are, you know, absolutely fig-leafed gambling questions. All of them. Every last one of them. Every last one. Yeah. You know. So that's different. What, um. Have we started, by the way? Yeah, this is it. Oh, this is how it works? This is how we do it. Okay, cool. This is how we do it. Okay, good. Okay. I love it. Right? It's so easy. Oh. So I don't want to talk about gambling. What do you mean? Yeah. Oh, wait. Am I going to get this thing on? I don't know. It is funny when you talk. I do think about. Like, do we like the gambling? Do we not like? Well, the players don't like it. They don't like. No, because there's people who are really pissed at them because it's it used to be back in the day. you know, I'm sure there's always been people who get angry at a result because they've lost money on it. Gambling's been going on forever, but now it's easier, easier access. People put a little bit here, a little bit there. They can put it, do it in the palm of their hand. So yeah, I, I had you down for 50 rushing yards and you only had 45. Why'd you run out of bounds? Yeah, why'd you run out of bounds? Yeah, another three right in front of you. Why would you stop running just because stopping running keeps the clock running and your team wins, but you made me lose? So it's a little bit, you know, I've heard from players who say it's become much more nasty, the relationship between fan and player. Really? Yeah, yeah. I mean, it makes perfect sense. You know. I wonder if it's an unintended consequence. I mean, there's always unintended consequences to anything. Right. I wonder. That may be for any sport in what you're saying. I mean, like gambling for any sport, you know, NBA is even, you know, crazier from what I've been told. You know, it's even crazier with players, you know, right. You know, where they can, you know, I apparently gamble whether it's going to be a make or a miss every time down the floor. You know, real time stuff. I can't. I mean, look, luckily, I think we've talked about this. I've got a lot of isms, Jesus Christ. One of the isms I don't have is the gambling ism. Right. which is good which is really good man i could i could walk through a casino every day of my life never ever ever be tempted to put anything down and the same the same on sports i don't need i don't need the gambling and i don't need it to watch with interest either me neither and you know fantasy football is i guess a more yeah passive version of it and i loved fantasy football until it here's what would turn me out fantasy football finally is as the end one of the things the NFL has changed is they're just the revolving door of running backs. Yeah. It's so hard to— You can't figure it out. You can't figure it out. So how do you draft them? Auto-draft. Just let it auto-draft. Just let the computer do it for you. Let the computer do it. Yeah, but you're right. It is an ism in the fact that, you know, I know you're an Ohio guy, and I'm sure you were a Pete Rose guy growing up. I was just thinking about it. Right? that if Pete, when everything went down, if Pete had gone on the same, if you will, tour as Mickey Mantle did towards the end of his days, where Mickey went on, wrote a book, went on the talk show circuit, did the Today shows and all that sort of stuff, talking about his alcoholism and how it made him a, you know, a worse dad and a worse everything. And if Pete had done that sort of tour about gambling, I think he would have been in the Hall of Fame. 100%. Before he died. Before he died, yeah. And I knew Pete fairly well. He was his own worst enemy. I mean, he was... I bet. He just was unrepentant about it because, you know, he said, I never bet on my team to lose. Right. The fix was not. I know that's what he said. I mean, I don't know. Gambling is, again, it is an ism. Yeah. So, but if he had basically said, don't be like me. I know there's millions of people whose family life and, you know, parent life and, you know, work life got upended because of gambling. Don't be like me. Mea culpa. Yeah, for sure. He'd be in Cooperstown. I really always thought that. Always. I'm curious to see what happens if it's, because he did, he was like, he was not interested in it posthumously, famously. Yeah. He was like, he's like, if I don't get it when I'm alive, I don't need it when I'm dead. And I wonder if the kids. Maybe they should. I mean, listen, I show my kids Pete Rose videos. Oh, that's unbelievable. Right. Listen, if you're a sports fan out there and you haven't looked at Pete Rose's numbers, it's bananas. Yeah. You can't believe it. It's fake. It is like fake. And the same thing, you know, in the recent conversation about Bill Belichick being passed over for first ballot enshrinement. Let's get down with that. And what is the Bill Polian thing? What's going on? I'm missing something here. So Bill Polian is a pro football Hall of Famer in his own right. Yes. And an NFL guy through and through. Big Peyton Manning, Colts. Yeah. And so you know that era of the Peyton Manning versus Tom Brady early parts of Peyton's career. Yeah. And early parts of Brady's career. Right. That the Patriots got the better of the Colts more often than not. Yes, exactly. And so the Patriots stood in Peyton Manning and the Colts way every year with the exception, I believe, of one. That's right. Right? Yeah. He finally got past them. Yep. And Polian was also in charge of the competition committee or was very influential in it, where there were some rules that got re-emphasized about how you can defend receivers and being able to put your hands on them because the Patriots were manhandling Marvin Harrison Sr. and then eventually Reggie Wayne and things of that nature. So there's always been a Patriots-Colts thing, especially even after Pollian. Deflategate was one of the gates. that keeps getting mentioned with part, with, with Belichick's lack of first ballot enshrinement. And even though the deflated football in question that sparked it all was intercepted by the Colts, one of the few good plays the Colts had in that AFC championship game. But so there's a lot of ax grinding accusations and certainly the article that beat everyone to the punch before the hall of fame announcement occurred is that Polian was one of the 50 selectors or is one of the 50 selectors for the Hall of Fame. And in the conversation about Belichick's candidacy, mentioned a few things here or there about the warts. The punishment would be fitting if he's not a first ballot Hall of Famer, even though there's been a lot of pushback since that report that he never did that. The problem with Polian also in this respect is his, when it first was broken by ESPN, that Belichick was not going to be a first ballot Hall of Famer. He told Polian, and this was mentioned in the article, that Polian was an architect of it, or at least somebody was trying to lead that cause. He told Sports Illustrated that was an uncategorical lie and that he did in fact vote for Belichick. the original reporters of the article from ESPN then contacted Polian who suddenly could not say for certain who he voted for or did not. Couldn't say for certain? And this was about an hour apart. And the vote was two weeks prior and he just couldn't recall. Which smacks of like, you've got to be kidding me. Yeah, I'd say. So you asked what the Polian thing is, that's it. But the reason why I bring it up because you mentioned Pete Rose's stats are just so absurd when you look at them. You know, just in the conversation about why it is absurd that Belichick wasn't elected in his first possible year, you mentioned his numbers and it's like you're in the middle of it. You're like, why would I even dignify this by citing his numbers? This is the thing about, and I always felt like at least the Hall of Fame, their numbers, their actual numbers. I mean, a lot of it is subjective, of course, but it's like you either did it or you didn't do it as opposed to acting awards, which is completely subjective. And, and so therefore way more inclined to be political. Yes. And all of that stuff and, and about agendas and things like that. But when you think the hall of fame is, I mean, it's, what more would you need to do to be a first ballot Hall of Fame? There aren't. There aren't. You know, again, the numbers are just absurd. In the same way, also, whenever you watch a game on Fox now that Brady is calling, okay? Mm-hmm. And they take a shot of the booth and Kevin Burkhart's on play-by-play and Tom's on, you know, as the analyst. And they're standing next to each other, which is automatically like the toughest two-shot in sports. You know? Yeah, yeah, unless there's an Apple box. You know what I mean? It's not just that. I've interviewed Brady before, and I try and bring the—when Brady was playing. I brought my best Xenia suit. I just brought the tie that would always pop. And then at the two-shot, it looked like I was wearing a burlap sack. You know what I mean? So Burkhart is standing next to Brady. And the graphic at the bottom of the screen is Kevin Burkhart, and it says NFL on Fox underneath his name. and then Tom Brady and underneath his name says seven times Super Bowl champion. I mean, and it's, it's just, it's absurd. They talk about gaudy numbers. It's like one of those things like if you didn't know any better, it's like, what should we put for Brady? Like how many Super Bowls is it? Seven? Just put seven. Like you're just throwing a number. It's absurd to the point where I feel like they should put for Kevin Burkhart the number of Emmy nominations that like give him something other than NFL on Fox. you know what I mean like just it's it's just so inequitable you know and Brady's really become really good he's no doubt so I'm not crazy like I you're not All of a sudden I was like, wait, he's really good now. Yeah. Yeah. Because again, like for Tom, there isn't a situation where he'd be like, yeah, I've never seen that before. Or yeah, I've never been there before. It's like, name it. Why did he get better? Comfort, I think. Repetitions. And I don't know if anybody gave him this note or it just naturally happened. and this is why your guy Peyton is so great of a watch on his Manning cast with his brother not just because you naturally see the same thing with the Kelseys with their podcast is that you see chemistry and you attracted to the enjoyment And that's what comes through with Brady, is his love and enthusiasm for the moment. And it's not manufactured. It's like, this is amazing. This is great. Like, you could hear he's like a kid. Yes. He's like a child playing. He let himself have fun. Correct. And that's infectious that you feel that. And then it's stuff like when you come back from a break and he's just like, yeah, this play is called and he knows the name of the play, you know, and we used to run it. I preferred to do it, you know, when there was really 90 seconds left in the half, they did it with about 60 seconds left. So, you know, those extra 30 seconds really means something about more down and distance opportunities. And then you're like, holy shit, like I didn't even think of that. Right. And, you know, he's been there and done that. And I guess to bring this all full circle, a lot of that is part and parcel of being coached by Bill Belichick and breaking things down to the nth degree about a matchup or a down in distance or about a time left on the clock or about a hash mark. It's better on this hash mark. It's better on this part of the field. It's better inside the 30s as opposed to in between the 30s. it's an attention to detail that he picked up because he was coached by the most detail-oriented, situationally brilliant head coach who unfortunately would also look at the rule book with that sort of granular, you know, aspect and put it all together. Baseball used to be that way. I mean, baseball, you would always, there's that great, you're not cheating. If you ain't cheating, you ain't trying. it's the old axiom I don't know who did that but if you ain't cheating you ain't trying it's the old axiom yeah and you know in that respect too with the again I'm reading everything because it's my gig you know the one of the co-writers of the piece that broke the fact that that Belichick's not getting it it's two writers one a guy named Don Van Natta who comes from the New York Times world of investigative reporting and Seth Wickersham, who is an author as well as a reporter for ESPN, an author of many books on the Patriots. So it makes sense the two of them collaborated for this scoop. And Wickersham in one of his books on the Patriots said Goodell when the Spygate stuff happened, which is, you know, recording somebody else's sidelines to get their signals and then being able to translate it by matching it to the game film so you could steal their signals in a future game. And they attempted to, apparently, to try and do it from the first half and use it in the second half, but weren't able to crack that code within a game. But at any rate, Roger Goodell, while investigating it on behalf of the NFL as the commissioner, reached out to a bunch of other coaches to say, what's the scope of this issue that I'm dealing with here? and called up Mike Shanahan, who interestingly enough is still waiting to get in the Hall of Fame despite having two Super Bowls. And he, Shanahan apparently told Goodell, like, I wish I had done this. Like, I had thought of it. I wish I had thought of it. Yeah. And it's just like, huh, really? Like, you're not sitting here saying, my signs are getting stolen, so to hell with him. A pox on his house. He's like, no. Like, there's no, there's nothing in the rule book that says what your punishment is, you might as well just cross the line. Like Belichick read the rule book. Is there any, like, what's the punishment for this thing? Well, there's nothing in the rule book talking about your punishment. All right, so then let's do it. And the other famous quote from Seth's book is that Robert Kraft asked Belichick, like, how much did this help us, this spying? Like how much, and Belichick quoted him a percentage of 1%. It helped us 1%. 1%? He said it helped us 1% and Kraft's like, well, then you're a schmuck. Yeah, then that's a fact. Like, that's not, that's not the squeeze should get more juice than 1% if we're risking reputation and draft choices and whatever. That's not a first ballot or because of it. But that's still stupid. Like, even when that was going on, no matter how outraged anybody was and how disappointing it was to learn about all this stuff, I never once thought like this is disqualifying. No, I mean. In any way, shape or form, you know? That stuff doesn't bother me. It's, I'm more worried about, you know, tanking and things like that. Right, I hear you on that. And just one last thing on the subject matter. So when the NFL turned 100, there was a show called the NFL 100 All-Time Team. And I was, what an honor to have been asked to host it. So I hosted it and they called me up. They're like, it's going to be at NFL Films. We're going to get Chris Collinsworth of NBC. And you'll never guess who the other analyst is going to be. I'm like, who? And they said, it's Bill Belichick. And I'm like, holy shit. Like, really? And they're like, yeah, Bill is carving three days out of his schedule in May. So we're going to fly out and you're going to host it at NFL Films. And I'd never really, I mean, I'd met Bill before a couple of times. before that the most extensive interaction I ever had with him was when I hosted the New England Patriots kickoff dinner one season where the whole team comes in and hangs out with some season ticket holders and some local business folk of the greater Massachusetts and New England area and Robert Kraft is there and it's a big to-do and Belichick basically told me, sat me down. He goes, listen, this is the only thing I would need from you is just keep this shit moving, okay? Because we got to get this now. We got practice in the morning. I just don't want to be here till nine. 10 o'clock. I mean, we just don't need it, all right? Just, you know, I know you're good at what you do, but just, you know, joke here or there. Just move it along, all right? It's basically what he said to me. Oh, my God, that's amazing. I wish I was there for that. That's what he said. And I'm like, you know, basically like, yes, sir. Oh, yeah. And, you know, I said to him, like, what time do you want me to hit? I mean, it's like 9 o'clock, you know, quarter to 8, quarter to 9 or whatever. And it was like 8.50 as I'm saying goodbye. And I looked right down at him. I'm like, do your job, right? Do your job. I did my job. So that was the extent of my relationship with him, essentially, other than just rarely getting an interview with him. But hanging out with that guy for two, three days was unbelievable. And of the many impressions I got is that if the all-time greats thought he was a fraud, right, with the cheating, or he was cheating the game by cheating, not us every one of them when they walked in because we had all sorts of in-studio guests ray lewis and jim brown and emmett smith and mean joe green and just to name four yeah um farve all of them that you'd think that they would kind of give him a cold shoulder or whatever they all went up to him and as if he was a peer which he was because he was on the one he was in the NFL 100 all-time team. I didn't get a whiff of a scent of a hint that they thought he was not one of them. And the other thing I thought when he would just break down games and he was a historian, so some of these 100 all-time team members were from the black and white era of film, like from the 40s and the 50s and the 30s. We would leave it up to him because he was such a historian. He knew exactly what they would do. He would break it down on a coach's clicker. It was amazing. He knew everything. And I just thought to myself, how the hell did anybody ever beat him as a coach? How the hell would that happen? I'll never forget it, man. That guy's something else. I always wanted to do a press conference like Bill. Literally do, you got a movie, you know, you're talking to the people who run the Golden Globes. Yeah. Whatever. You're promoting something. It's a junket. Yeah. And just be like, it's a good movie. It's comedy. People like them. That sounds great, Rob. Tell me a little bit more about working with Jodie Foster. You know, she's a good woman. She works really hard at her job. She's great in the movie. Yeah, we're moving on. How fucking amazing would that be? We're moving on a gold member. yeah yeah we'll move on to go well you weren't in that gold member right i was not you were in two right i was in um which one i had a a scene cut in austin one okay and then uh all over austin and all over yeah austin too and apparently there there's talk of uh get out of here yeah a new one come on yeah it was i was i talked to mike this week i was just talking to him okay and um you I don't know if it'll happen. This is no way an announcement, but it's just something he's been thinking about a long time. But it would be great. I mean, I think the world needs more Austin Powers. You just need more laughing. You need more feel-good, man. You need more nostalgia. I love it. You love movies. Big time. You're a huge movie fan. I'm a big pop culture guy. You notice when you come on my show, I'm always up for your current project, but I always want to dive into the other stuff. And I find on my show, when I have somebody like you on, you know, talking about some of your more favorite and famous projects, and you tell a backstory, you tell another story, you're like, this happened, that happened. Fans can't get enough of it. The engagement of it, the Instagram version of it, you know, the Reels version of it, can't get enough of it. People can't get enough of stuff like that. And it's a spoke on the pop culture wheel as thick and unbreakable as sports is. It is. What's your favorite story that an actor has told you, a behind-the-scenes story? Oh, man. Because you have favorite movies. I think you've had Kevin Pollak on a lot. He loves telling. Yeah, he tells great Tom Cruise stories and a few good men stuff. A few good men stories. Seinfeld told us the backstory of the famous George Costanza soliloquy about the sea was angry that day, my friends, where he pulled the title list out of the marine biologists is the name of the episode where he grabbed the title list out of the whale blowhole that Kramer had hit the golf ball into. And he told basically the story that Marine Biologist episode that George was dating a Marine Biologist and Kramer was hitting golf balls at the beach, but they never connected the two. And they came up with the idea the night before that the ball that Kramer was hitting on the beach was going to land in the whale's blowhole. and he and Larry David overnight wrote the speech that Costanza, that, you know, Jason Alexander was going to deliver the next day. And they said, here's a speech to learn it overnight. And he nailed it. And the, the, my favorite part of the way Seinfeld tells the story now is that he says that when they cut away to him and his eyes are like bug eyed and his mouth is open, he's not acting. He's legitimately stunned that Jason Alexander is letter word for word perfect in delivering something that he had just been given, you know, moments before and nails it. So stuff like that, like a, I mean, so many people quote that, that soliloquy and now they get a backstory from it from Jerry Seinfeld himself. I mean, that's the mother load, man. Yeah. I got to golf with Larry David recently. It was great. And you know what I love about Larry David? and other people like him who deliver on being Larry David. Like if I'm with Larry David, I don't want to be, you know, actually in person, he's kind of, you know, I don't want to be surprised. I want Arnold Schwarzenegger to be Arnold Schwarzenegger. I want Bill Belichick. Sure. If I meet Bill Belichick, I don't want to be, hey, Rob, gosh, I really loved Austin Powers. You can't listen. Could you go? I want to be. Hey, Rob, how you doing? It's good to see you. Like, I want people to be. Okay. Like them, like who I imagine them to be. Yes. And Larry David did not disappoint. We get out on the tee. I hit a terrible drive. Yes. He goes, take another. Are you sure? He goes, take another. I take another, rip it right down the middle. I go to that ball and goes wait a minute your ball's back there I said you told me to take another he goes yeah I said take another I didn't say you could play it and he's like it's like a Larry David it's a vintage Larry David moment yeah yeah yeah that's like a curve moment like wait a minute I thought you were giving me the grace and then it becomes a whole thing now it's your fault I love that That is so freaking great. Although I don't want to burst your bubble about Belichick. There's no doubt he would talk to you about what you've done for a living. Oh, it's obvious. And what he's liked and doesn't like. Because he is definitely a pop culture guy in a way that you wouldn't expect. That's amazing. More music, maybe. I've never really spoken movies with him. But just another quick story from that NFL 100 show. So Mean Joe Green is there. Best commercial ever. So we're coming in from a commercial break. We're not shooting it live. We're shooting it piecemeal. So we're coming out of, though, a break. We've just finished a segment. We're about to start another one. And Bill Belichick says to me you know about a minute before we probably going to start He says would you mind if I asked the first question And I like damn I never thought I would ever get that question posed to me by Bill Belichick I'm like, of course, you know, and I'm sitting there thinking to myself as we're coming back from getting ready. And I'm like, what's he going to ask? Like, is it the steel curtain defense or, you know, what did Chuck Knoll tell you, you know, before? Or where were you, you know, for the immaculate reception on the sideline? Like, it could go anywhere with Mean Joe Green. And we come back and I'm like, all right, we're back here on the NFL 100 all-time team show. Coach, the floor is yours or something like that. And he says to him, he goes, that soda commercial you shot, how many takes was it? How many sodas did you have to drink before you got the shot? And I'm like, that's where he went. Like the modern day Lombardi Has one shot at asking me Jonah Green a question And he wants to talk about having a coke and a smile You know It is though It really is Hey kid catch You know And he said that he drank like 30 bottles of that soda I remember he is Guzzling He's not doing that fake actor drinking No or fake actor thinking. Well, you would know what the art of trying to make it look something. Fake it, yeah, because you're going to, because that thing, he's not a pro. See, if Mean Joe were an actor, he wouldn't have had 30. He would have three. That's it? He would know. He'd be like, you know what, this is never going to use this angle. I'm just going to fake, sip it, but no, it's like, well, he's got to empty the bottle, so I guess he had no choice. There's no AI back in 1970, whatever. Oh, he'd never heard of editing. Mean Joe Green. Not his forte. No, the editing was not. That's the quarterback. That's all he did for a living. That's all he does. He'll never stop. I got one more story about me and Joe Green. I'll tell you that. I'm full with these stories, man. You've been so kind of telling me stories, so I'll tell you another one about the respect people had in the NFL for Mean Joe Green. Marshall Falk told me this story. So Marshall one day on the Rams playing the Arizona Cardinals, Mean Joe Green was an assistant coach on the, might've been even back in the Phoenix Cardinals days. And there was a running back on the Cardinals that was lighting the Rams up and was just yapping at the defense all day. And it pissed off Marshall because the guy wasn't all that good. And so, and he was disrespecting his teammates. So Marshall ripped off this massive run on the Cardinals. And on the way back to the huddle, just gave a whole bunch of shit down the line. Every human being in the Cardinals sideline was getting it from Marshall Falk. And he realizes he's going through. One of those people was Mean Joe Green standing there looking at Marshall Falk, getting MF'd by MF28. And Marshall said, he realized that he caught himself before he goes back to the huddle. Went right up to Mean Joe Green. He says, not you, Mr. Green. Not you. I didn't mean you. He's called Mean Joe Green. For a reason. Not nice, forgiving. Nice and forgiving Joe Green. That's an alternative universe. Nice and forgiving Joe Green. As a movie fan, we should play my favorite game together. Let's do it. Okay, so my favorite game are, so for people who don't understand how things are written, a lot of times there's a writer's room, right? And it's writers sitting around, eating bad pizza, watching YouTube, talking about their daily lives, and eventually, eventually getting down to the task at hand, which let's say it's writing a comedy or whatever, and they're pitching jokes. What if he says this? What if he says, just like you said, the Seinfeld story. Sure. I like to imagine a writer's room where they are thinking of what's going to become a famous movie moment, but they pitch an alternative version of the line that has become famous. Okay. For example, I know you're a big few good men. Sure. instead of like so i think when kathy really gets his goat on the stand yeah what what if he says i want you to answer that's right and he says you don't enunciate well enough yeah right okay it doesn't have the same like i was the You don't deserve my response. You don't deserve, yeah, doesn't quite. Doesn't have the same, but you can't handle the truth. Godfather. Well, we negotiated and I think my offer's pretty good. Doesn't really have the same. Gone with the wind. Right. Frankly, Scarlett. Whatever. I could take it or leave it. Doesn't quite. You just go down the line of great. Okay. So should I come up with what you're saying? Yeah, yeah. Okay. What's a good one? Hmm. Okay. Life's like a bag of potato chips or something like that, right? All right. Something similar to that. In Jaws, I think this boat is not the right size. so you're you're you're more practiced at this than i am um yeah what is another one here god bless it there's so many good okay well you just think of one of the most famous one-liners oh at the end of rocky instead of is adrian here where is she Where are you, Adrian? Raise your hand. What section is she in? What section is she in? Wait a minute. We didn't get a better seat? Wait, wait. And then, instead of Ain't Gonna Be Noreen, I don't want to fight again. I don't want to fight you again. Oh, my God. Come on, Rock. Come on. You're really good at this. You know? That's what's up. I always have to look it up. Is it crap, lightning, and eat thunder, or you eat lightning and crap? You know that line? I want you to crap thunder. Eat lightning and crap thunder. I think that's one. I think that's a favorite. He'll hate you. Time and ice. Burgess Meredith's finest. Yeah. This is good. It's a good one. I just need to listen. You're a big Butch Cassidy. It's got to be a famous line from Butch Cassidy. Well, the sting is my favorite. Oh, well, keep thinking, Butch. That's what you're good at. That's right. So you could be like... You could be like... Keep workshopping. You're going to workshop it? Butch... Yeah. Butch, you really have some good ideas all the time. Not. Stupid. Really stupid. The Sting is a great movie. That's my favorite. Is it your favorite movie? Number one. All the time. I've watched it over... Lanigan. My favorite drama is The Sting, and my favorite comedy is one of two. It's Midnight Run. Yeah. Or The In-Laws. They're very- The old school in-laws. The old school one. Serpentine. The Peter Falk, Alan Arkin in-laws where he senses that Peter Falk is full of shit at the dinner table talking about being a CIA guy openly, which would throw you that you're, that he's not on the up and up is he basically said that they had a problem and in a, in an African nation, cause there's a lot of red tape in the bush and amazing line. And Alan Arkin's response is there's a lot of red tape in the bush. Like that's what he, I just, that movie to me stands the test of time, but midnight run is the other one. Those are my favorite movies. The sting I was watching the other day. So good, man. It's so good. and we're talking about fake eating. Yes. Robert Shaw, where he invites Redford up to his room and Robert Shaw's eating room service. Do you want to know how every, how do you do it? Right, yeah. Your post, what is your post, post, mate? You're past posted, aren't you? You're past posted, aren't you? And he's, he is eating so much food and it's not fake eating, he is housing. Yeah. That eggs Benedict. Yes. Or whatever. And it makes the scene so good. Like Tony Soprano ate on hoagies or whatever the hell. He ate all the time on screen. It was so good. Brad Pitt, right? In Oceans, right? And he's eating in every scene, I think. He's in the Hall of Fame of movie eating Hall of Fame. I didn't know there was such a thing. What city is that in? What city has the movie eating Hall of Fame? Yeah. It might be Green Bay where they have like, somewhere where the food is like really yummy and not good for you. Correct. A lot of fried food. There's cheese curds. Might be the only thing he didn't eat in Ocean's Eleven. I had run into Brad right after that movie came out and I told him I loved it. And the movie was just out. So there was no people hadn't time to really break it down like you and I just did. And I said, I love how your character eats all the time and he goes oh shit did i do it too much is that what he said yeah no it's pretty good no well in that game that you just mentioned too is schwarzenegger tells the story all the time about i'll be back is i will be back yeah because he wanted to say the might come back here it's right it's just not it's just like i shall return that's not the same thing right yeah and he said i'll be back you know oh how about like um clint eastwood could say go ahead make me happier than I am right now so how do you are you feeling fortunate how fortunate are you feeling right now Luke I am related to you in a way that will be surprising it's so stupid I would love this game it's the stupidest game ever it is fun It's a stupid. Just got to choose the right. You got to choose the right one. Yeah. You got to choose the right one. This is a great one. You're like driving across country or like, yeah, you're, it's just a dumb, dumb, stupid game. Um, let me ask you this. Sure. You, how do we feel about the Giants head coach Harbaugh? Yes. He, if he'd have waited a week. He'd have gotten Josh Allen as opposed to Josh Allen. Yeah. I still go for Giants. Oh. For sure. Not even a question. Oh, I think so. Right? Yeah. Yeah. Okay. I thought so. I mean, listen, coaching Josh Allen would be spectacular. He's a beast. I don't know if the Bills would have gone in that direction. I have no idea. I mean, timing is absolutely everything with these things, too. So, yeah, he wasn't going to wait another week. He just wanted to move and act. and being the head coach of the Giants is pretty freaking sweet. I always thought Belichick would eventually end up back there. Me too. I thought so as well, but they were not, I mean, I don't think they were interested in, again, no matter how great he is, you do want to have somebody that's going to be around for if and. If it works. Right. 10 years. 10, 12, 15 years. Yeah. So I just didn't think that timing was right. You're going to the Super Bowl? I am, sir. Me too. Oh. I'll see you there. You're going to wear your hat? I'm going to wear it again because I'm giving it to you afterwards. Well, you're giving it on loan. Again, you're giving me your NFL cap on loan. I am giving Rich- It's the scene of the crime as well. It is the scene of the crime. It is. Rich, his set is amazing. It's got every piece of sports memorabilia you could ever, ever possibly want to see. Yes. And cultural, not just sports. Yes. I think cultural would be fair enough. Mm-hmm. And I am going to put on loan- Yes, sir. my NFL hat to you. And it will be... We already negotiated the placement, correct? Exactly. It is right above an old school 1980s brick cell phone autographed by both Michael Douglas and Charlie Sheen. It's not... The Wall Street brick phone. The Wall Street where, like, this is your wake-up call, pal. You know. Oh, that's a great one. That's another one, too. There you go. What would it be? Hey, buddy, are you awake? Or how about... Greed makes me happy. That's right. No. It's another good one. Yeah, yeah. Something like that. It's all those. Yeah, like this is your wake up call, buddy. It's Bud Fox. This is your wake up call. So yeah, that's where your hat will go. On loan, of course. On loan. Although we did just have, because I love shrinking and he's a great guest too. Ted McGinley just came on. He's great. And said that he would be willing to, on loan, give us his white suit from the love boat that he used to wear. Oh, boy. I said, bring it. Because he says it's moldy. He still has it. He doesn't know what he's going to do with it. I'm like, we'll take it. We'll dry clean it. We'll take it. Those were the years when... Oh, yeah, man. Theme songs. I wish theme songs were still a thing. We were talking about this the other day, too. I just love it. A guy who belongs to the golf club that I'm at, Mike Post. You know, and he... Wrote every great theme song. Rockford Files, Hill Street Blues, just to name, obviously, too. I mean, those are... Rockford Files is the one for me. You could make the case. It's the greatest theme song. It's so good. Like I have a visceral. Yes. Physical reaction when I hear that song Oh yeah I with you Right Yes He he wrote you know all the Botchko shows and he is the king of that There just I don know Now it You know why they don't do it? Because it takes too long. You got to stream. You don't want people to get out of it in five seconds. The writers want more time to tell the story. Got it. They don't even... Forget theme songs. They don't even have credits. That's true. Yeah. And the writer... People just want... Did Breaking Bad, was that the first one that was just where they just did that where it was just a quick five seconds and that's it it's probably one of them you know what i mean like i'm trying to figure out when they first started i get well i can tell you because the the west wing was the last the west wing and the sopranos were the the last big shows that i remember right other than streamer shows a game of thrones what goes on forever i love it though because literally forever i grew a beard like one of those waiting for that fucking show to start. My wife is the queen of skip intro. I hate it. I love the intro. I do too. We kind of like look at each other when the music starts for a show open, we kind of lock eyes because she knows I want to watch it and I know she wants to hit skip intro. I mean, all the Taylor Sheridan shows, I love the opens to them. I think they're, they look like a Bond movie opening. They're great and they make me feel like... Yes, it sets you up. Yeah, it sets you up. It's like, yeah, this is fucking happening, man. And we're doing this. And I don't care that I've binge watched eight of them already and I've seen this open. A thousand times. Literally, the Sopranos one, because Cheryl and I used to fight over the Sopranos one. Now, look, it's true. That might be the most boring. It's so boring that I love it. It's like he gets in the car, he drives. There's B-roll of a plane. Yeah. There's B-roll of a sign. It's Newark Airport. It's the New Jersey term. I'm from Staten Island. I know exactly his entire trip. His route. And then he gets, oh, here's the other thing that I love about old TV is they were, the opening sequences. It was like, it was almost like, you know, if people don't understand how the main character gets to work, I don't think the show works. Do you ever notice that? It's always the Newhart show. Yeah. All the shows were them coming out of their homes and getting to work. Yeah, that's true. As if we wouldn't understand the show. Yeah, Barney Miller was walking the streets of New York a little bit before walking into the precinct. The Odd Couple. The Odd Couple. Holy shit. They're always like— That is one of the great— All right, I might have to amend. I might have to amend. You know what else? Freeze frames. Can two divorced men— Freeze frames. Yeah. Well, that was also my favorite part of Police Squad. Oh, my God. The six episode run that led to Frank Drebin getting a film series where the end they would freeze. Yes. Play the theme music and you'd see like the arms sort of lower down. Yeah. You know. Oh, God, those freezes. Yeah. The freezes were all over Barney Miller. Because I am, dude, I've got a sickness when it comes to this sort of stuff. I know you do. I can't get enough of it. I can't get enough of show opens. You know, we played a game of true or false with Joe Burrow when he came on my show before he got drafted about things because he was going to definitely be a Cincinnati Bengal. And even though he's from Athens, Ohio, we quizzed him on what's true or false about Cincinnati. And I just said, you know, the greatest radio station in Cincinnati is WKRP. It went right over his head. And I felt so old. I felt so old. He's a baby Well, there's a guy named Venus Flytrap And let me tell you something, Joe You know, like, it's a sickness But by the way, great show open there, too So good Because some of them, you know, like So I'll ask you this Do you prefer an old school show open with lyrics? Or you don't? Oh Because Rockford Files doesn't have lyrics You know what I mean? Oh, listen, Greatest American Hero Believe it or not, I'm walking on air Amazing Right, WKRP Cheers or everybody knows your name. The Happy Days theme. Right, friends. Laverne and Shirley. Schlemiel, Schlemazel. Haas and Pfeffer Incorporated. Do you know what the difference between a Schlemiel and Schlemazel is? I don't. Should I? Yes. Okay. Here's what it is. A Schlemiel spills the drink. A Schlemazel has the drink spilled on them. Now, you would want to be one of the few people I know that I'd be able to legitimately ask this question to and believe the answer that I think it is. Did Gary Marshall himself tell you this difference? He did. He did. He did. I mean, he did. There's very few people on the planet that could. Gary Marshall, he was at my wedding. Gary Marshall, I believe I believe I would believe nothing else than that. You know, like that you got the actual. I got Gary Marshall to do a comedy punch-up of my character in Wayne's World. What do you mean? I was like, I'd gotten Wayne's World. Yeah. And, and I was like, wanted to get it punched up. Wanted to make it as good as I could get. I wanted to like, and, and I think my wife was working with Al Pacino at the time as she was his makeup artist. And Al had a, a group of like writers that he would just on standby for anything he ever did to just punch up. I was like, I'm going to try that. I know. Gary Marshall, comedy genius. He's a mutual friend. And he wrote me, I remember him, he writing me this very elaborate speech for my character, but it was in Gary Marshall cadence. It was like, and that was a, it was like, you had to do it like Gary Marshall, like a Brooklyn guy. And I remember doing it and Lorne Michaels going, hmm. I go, Gary Marshall wrote it. He goes, no, right. No, no, it's funny, but is it the right kind of funny? So it never made it into, you know, Gary Marshall, ghostwriter of Wayne's world. Oh my God. You have to wonder like five minute scenes where somebody's, it's their only scene of a movie and it, it becomes one of the most memorable parts of a movie. If not, if in certain cases, award winning Gary Marshall in lost in America, telling Albert Brooks that your money is gone. That it doesn't matter about your nest egg. Do I look like Santee Claus? Santee Claus. Amazing. You lost. You lost. Is that what he says? I lost. The nest egg is gone. He once said, the Desert Inn, he came up with the concept because he was the ad executive coming up with the campaign to center around the one time that the Desert Inn is giving the money back to the loser. It's amazing. And Gary Marshall, you know, sort of finding him funny and going along with it until he's insulted. He goes, you know, we're done now. We're done now. And that's the end of the scene. We're done here. Something like that. That is truly... Lost in America is a great one. Right. I would put Lost in... I think you need to reconsider. For comedy? And put Lost in America. I haven't seen it in a while. Because I feel like your two are too similar to me. Really? Midnight Run and The In-Laws. I know. I guess both are road buddy-buddies sort of you know guys learning each other and then something about themselves at the same time. I can see that a little bit. I'm also a big fan of Albert Brooks in what's the one where he's brokenhearted and he's Modern Romance. Modern romance. Sure. That's a great one. Yeah, that is a great one. That is a great one. But yeah, Gary Marshall, I wish his character was in more of that film. In the same way Dennis Farino was all throughout Midnight Run. Yeah. His scenes with Philip Baker Hall were just the best. The absolute best. The Deseret and Heshart. The Deseret and Heshart. The Deseret and Heshart. He does it like five times. Just melting. And the other thing is... Melting, yeah. Is Albert Brooks has one of... It's not his death scene, but he kills Cranston in the movie, I think it's Drive. Yeah. Oh, yeah. And that's an amazing scene where he cuts his wrist. He goes, it's okay, it's over. It's over now. It's over. He's awesome. Albert Brooks is the greatest. most gnarly. It's over. It's all right. It's over now. Oh, it's so good. And casting him in that role. Yeah. Yeah. I'm with you. So good. Yeah. I can't get enough of it. What's your favorite movie of the year? My issue with the movie of the year is because I do what I do for a living. I haven't seen many of the best picture. Of what you've seen. Sinners. Sinners. Sinners. Yeah. Sinners. It's pretty spectacular. Oh, my God. so I didn't see sinners in the theater I for some reason I don't know it's so rare for me I have a 17 and a 14 and a 12 year old I found myself alone in my house one night like the greatest you know for me when my kids are gone or they're out of the house whatever for days in a row first night is the fucking greatest you know what I mean like this is great this is the way I this is the way life used to be right And then after a while, I don't know what to do with myself. And then I just realized, where are the kids? But anyway, so this first night, I'm like, you know what I'm going to do? I'm going to watch Sinners. And I put the movie on and it starts getting wild. It starts getting really wild. And I'm like, you know what? This is weird, but I'm going to do this anyway. I'm going to put the alarm on because not like, not like I'm thinking there are vampires outside of my house, but I know it's not rational. What I did was not rational, but I'm, I'm going to put the alarm on. So I put the alarm on and then the scene, I don't want to give too much away, but I'm sure most people have seen it when, when the vampires really start hitting. Yeah. It was some wild, loud scene that I guess I had the volume on too high. It set off one of the glass breaks. No way. Here I was setting the alarm through some irrational fear that vampires were outside my house. And then the vampires show on screen and the alarm goes off. I lost my shit. and the only other time like that in my life was years and years obviously before my parents were out of the house and they had set the vcr timer to go off for their favorite show that they were recording and i was watching the shining for the first time and the vhs machine went off on its own and i lost my shit there too so it was sinners was that believable and also i sit there and i wonder how the hell does Ryan Coogler think of this? Like, here's what I'm going to do. I'm going to do something like sinners. I'm going to come up with a thoroughly out of whole cloth, outrageously original idea. And then I'm going to make it look beautiful. And then I'm going to cast Michael B. Jordan as two different people, but they're the same, you know, they're, they're twins how and then soundtrack and music and and how the where did that come from like how the hell does somebody sit down and then put it on paper and communicate it to other people about how to bring it to life to me that that that's what makes it the best ai will never do that no it'll never hell yeah you know what i mean that ever ever never and so it's so original and it's so beautifully shot and so incredibly acted and it scared the shit out of me and that is the best movie I've seen this year let's catch up up there for sure let's do it gotta get the hat the hat's coming baby I might just give you the address because I wanted game worn by the way not many famous hats like that alone because you said it was part of an NFL PowerPoint presentation yeah it is Goodell says he uses that picture of me in that hat in the NFL PowerPoint. Yeah, because you're rocking the shield, sir. Shield. I play for the shield. And so that in and of itself, just the famous aspect of the hat, for it to be game worn at an NFC championship game and a Super Bowl by Rob Lowe. That's a good point. So I need, I need, I think I need, I think a game worn twice, not just any game. It's not like some week 14 game between, you know, a three and six and a four and five team. No, the stakes are at its highest when you're rocking the shield lid. You need to up your insurance policy. Okay. In the studio. Understood. Understood. This is great, brother. Thank you. So, so fun. Thanks for doing it. Anytime. Thank you, Rich. Always a pleasure having you on. I will get you the NFL hat shortly, but you've got to insure it. And thank you all for listening, as always, right here on Literally. And we will be back with more next week. Thank you. You've been listening to Literally with Rob Lowe, produced by me, Sean Doherty, with help from associate producer Sean Calvano. Research by Jeff Fox. Engineering and mixing by Joanna Samuel. Our executive producers are Rob Lowe for Low Profile and Nick Liao, Adam Sachs, and Jeff Ross for Team Coco. Booking by Catherine Cook. Music by Devin Bryant. Special thanks to Hidden City Studios. Thanks for listening. We'll see you next time on Literally.