Is TRT Cheating? Plus: Gym Time vs. Family, Stress Without Alcohol, and Choosing the Right Fitness Program | Ask Us Anything Vol. 7
68 min
•Jan 27, 20264 months agoSummary
An Ask Us Anything episode featuring hosts Jesse Kerrajat, Justin Mazars, and Dave LaPay discussing audience questions on TRT, balancing gym time with family, parenting without guilt, stress management without alcohol, and choosing the right fitness program. The panel emphasizes working with doctors, prioritizing health as a non-negotiable, and understanding that parenting young children is a temporary season requiring teamwork with spouses.
Insights
- TRT should only be pursued after medical evaluation and blood work, not based on comparing yourself to others at the gym; it's not a shortcut without proper diet, training, and sleep
- Parents don't need to enjoy every moment with their kids to be good parents; taking personal time to recharge actually makes you a better parent and spouse
- Stress management requires addressing root causes (fear of failure, need for control) rather than just replacing alcohol with other coping mechanisms
- Most fitness goals can be achieved with 6 hours per week of intentional training combining strength work, cardio, and mobility—no need for trendy programs
- Divorce rates have declined since 2011, suggesting couples are staying together more, which has positive implications for child development and family stability
Trends
TRT and testosterone replacement therapy gaining mainstream attention and social media visibility among fitness enthusiasts and middle-aged menShift toward holistic parenting approaches emphasizing emotional availability and involvement from fathers, moving away from traditional breadwinner-only modelsGrowing recognition of stress management as mental health issue requiring professional support, not just tactical fixes like supplements or exerciseHome gym investment becoming standard for time-constrained parents and professionals, reducing commute friction and enabling flexible training schedulesFitness industry fragmentation creating decision paralysis; consumers seeking simplified, science-backed approaches over trendy programs like CrossFit and high-intensity trainingDeclining divorce rates among younger cohorts suggesting improved relationship stability and commitment to family unitsIncreased awareness of VO2 max and cardiovascular health as primary indicators of longevity and health span, not just muscle sizeParental guilt and Instagram culture creating unrealistic expectations; authenticity about parenting struggles becoming more normalizedAlcohol as stress management tool being replaced by walking, meditation, journaling, and professional therapy among health-conscious adultsPodcast monetization through free resources and email newsletters rather than high-ticket coaching, democratizing fitness and wellness information
Topics
Testosterone Replacement Therapy (TRT) safety and medical necessityBalancing personal fitness goals with family responsibilitiesParental guilt and mental health in modern parentingStress management without alcohol dependencyFitness program selection for middle-aged adultsHome gym investment versus commercial gym membershipFather involvement in childcare and parentingDivorce rate trends and family stabilityVO2 max and cardiovascular health metricsSupplement alternatives to alcohol for stress reliefHypogonadism diagnosis and treatment protocolsWork-life balance for parents with demanding careersHealthy conflict resolution in marriagesSocial media's impact on parenting expectationsStrength training versus cardio versus mobility training
Companies
Purist Nutrition
Primary sponsor providing NSF-certified supplements with clean ingredients including Creapure creatine and whey isola...
Rep Fitness
Sponsor offering commercial-grade home gym equipment including racks, benches, bars, and plates manufactured in Colorado
People
Dr. Todd Kelman
Regenerative medicine specialist from Santa Monica recommended by Justin for comprehensive hormone therapy consultati...
Quotes
"Do I enjoy every single minute with my kids? Absolutely not. I mean, my son looked me in the eyes as he dumped a jar of jelly beans on the floor yesterday and I'm staring at him. Did I enjoy that minute? No."
Jesse Kerrajat•Opening segment
"Just because you say you need space from your kids doesn't make you a bad dad. That's how you recharge so that you can dive back in and be the best dad possible."
Jesse Kerrajat•Parenting discussion
"TRT changed my life. It's amazing. I would not say don't jump on it because everyone's talking about it. Talk to your doctor. Think. How do you feel?"
Justin Mazars•TRT question response
"Marketing has made fitness the most confusing thing and overcomplicated what should be foundationally simple."
Dave LaPay•Fitness program selection discussion
"What happened to you is not your fault. You are a good person and you will be okay."
Jesse Kerrajat•Closing advice to 25-year-old self
Full Transcript
Do I enjoy every single minute with my kids? Absolutely not. I mean, my son looked me in the eyes as he dumped a jar of jelly beans on the floor yesterday and I'm staring at him. Did I enjoy that minute? No. I was like, come on, dude. Like it's eight o'clock at night. It's bedtime. What are you doing? What's wrong with you? I have all these thoughts. And no, that's not enjoyable. But I think it's okay to say that everyone needs space. And just because you say you need space from your kids doesn't make you a bad dad. That's how you recharge so that you can dive back in and be the best dad possible. Well, hey, everybody. Welcome to Stronger Weekly brought to you by Purist Nutrition. I'm Jesse Kerrajat, your host. Thank you for checking in. This episode is scheduled to air the last week of January, 2026. For those wrapping up a dry January, good for you. For those that attempted it, maybe fell off the wagon, good for you anyway. It's a good goal to do. I hope everyone's New Year's resolutions, if you have them, are going great, right? Stick to it. Have a plan. Don't be too hard on yourself. We love goals and resolutions around here. So keep on keeping on. We've got a great episode for you here today. If you're new to the show, we do an Ask Us Anything every single month. I invite two of my best pals on the show, Justin Mazars and Dave LaPay, to come on and just tackle the questions that come in from the audience. We got some awesome questions. I think I got 30 plus really thoughtful questions from the audience, different topics, mental health, addiction, physical fitness, training, nutrition, parenting, work, productivity, all the things. And we whittled it down to five questions with a good variety of those different topics. And I just loved the conversation. We just actually wrapped not too long ago. And I think you're really going to enjoy it. So thank you so much for being here. If in the future you would like to ask a question that could be featured on the show, you can simply email us at contact at strongerweekly.com. Again, that's contact at strongerweekly.com. We monitor our email, love to hear from our audience. You could also ask a question on any social media accounts that we have. Instagram is the one that we're on the most. So if you ever want to ask a question or even just say hello, make fun of us, whatever you want to do, we just love to hear from you. So thank you for everyone that asked a question for this particular episode. We're going to dive right into it here. So welcome, Justin and Dave to the show. Let's get into it. All right, everybody. Welcome, welcome, welcome. What's up, Justin? How are you? Welcome back, buddy. So good. Happy 26, man. How are you guys? Good. Happy 26. Dave, how you doing, buddy? I'm doing good. I got a lot of wires going on over here. I feel really good about this. Thanks for having us again. so excited man this was like the highlight of my week and then i know we had it we we pumped it and now it's here and it's like christmas morning again i have to say i always no matter who the guest is or even if it's a solo episode i always have like a mild discomfort like healthy nervousness before i pressed record but because it was you two coming back all morning like when i'm brushing my teeth i'm just smiling like i'm like looking forward to getting in front of you two dave you are gearing up for the launch of your very own podcast off tangent how's that looking when can we expect it let's go i don't like the pressure you're putting on me there when can we expect it uh i like to let it marinate so it's you had you and i had talked about it where you kind of started from the ground up you're helping me out there's a little there's a lot to do i mean the cover art has taken a while but i think that's pretty much finalized now and i'm excited about that just piecing it together intro music guests I love the topics and I won't go through them on the podcast here but I laugh out loud at them and I hope others do I mean I'm just writing stuff and just you know part of this is I'm 40 now and I'm writing these topics how tall is too tall I'm wondering what what am I doing is this worth it but then as we get through the topic as I'm writing the outline. There's meaningfulness there. You can get deep into a topic. The goal and off tangent is to go in different directions and then try and funnel back and find a meaningful place to rest. So it's really fun to kind of start with something so objectively stupid, but then show the meaning and there's life in these topics. And that's going to be fun to try and get to that. I'm hoping I just don't get made fun of online. That's really what I'm looking for. that will happen. You can post like the sweetest reel about like becoming a dad and like realizing you need to be healthier. And someone comes on, they'd be like, you suck. Yeah. It's going to happen. It's going to happen. How tall is too tall. Can you just give us one more tease? One more. I need, I need something, Dave. You got to give the listener something. Yeah. Okay. Why is Rudolph in no other Christmas movie than Rudolph? These are the questions that need to be asked. The way I compare that one, if you ever played MVP baseball growing up or any baseball game, NBA Jam, it was like Michael Jordan was never in those games and Barry Bonds was never in the baseball games. And I'm equating Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer to Barry Bonds. And that's kind of how the... Similar to steroids. Yeah, I get it. He was huge, Rudolph. That was a new topic because, you know, watching the Christmas movies with the kids and stuff and Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer. and they're, you know, we're watching Elf. What was the other one we watched? Oh, Polar Express. It's all the reindeer. Santa's taken off with the reindeer, but there's no red-nosed reindeer in front. And if you care to watch this much and delve down too deep into these, I'm like, where's Rudolph? Why is he never in any other movie besides that Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer? So that's the stupid stuff we're talking about here. Someone's lying to us. Yeah, I'm curious now. Did you turn into like an investigative journalist and get to the bottom of this conspiracy? Why isn't he? What do you know? Let's stay here for a second. Who really is Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer? Yeah. Steroids is an interesting spin on that with Barry Bonds because you could say, did he do steroids to get the red nose in that initial movie when he's born and the father just hates him because of his red nose? Did the father do something? Did he take a supplement that caused his son to have this defect? You know, we can go just so far down this road. And that's the point of Off Tangent. Just go, see where it takes you. And hopefully we end up talking about Rudolph at the end of the 30-minute conversation. Just the teaser of what to expect. First episode date to be determined. Awesome co-host, which Dave didn't call out who the co-host is, but that's fine. Jesse is my co-host. But really for me, my own OCD, I'm just trying to be in a place where I feel comfortable putting out a good product and not worrying about small things like, is my mic or camera working as we just went through on this? We will get there. And speaking of getting there, let's get to the topics at hand. So our Ask Us Anything episode, first time with both Justin and Dave after the debate episode a couple weeks ago. I just thought there was just such chemistry and fun that I wanted to get these guys together again. So we have six questions plus a bonus question. I just want to thank the audience because I've got over 30 questions and the challenge here was picking the ones that were our favorites and we thought would be the most useful for everybody. So shout out to the audience. We're going to start here with this first question, which is in the category, I'll just call it fitness. And it is a great question because this topic is all the rage right now. There are early adopters who have dived in or dove into it. And then there are people like myself that don't know as much about it. But I think there's a lot of curiosity around this topic. And that topic is TRT. So here's the question. This is from Keith in Montclair, New Jersey, up in North Jersey. Shout out, New Jersey. Here's the question. I see guys at my gym who are clearly on TRT or gear, which is the street term for steroids, I believe. And honestly, they look great. I'm 45 years old and I feel like I've hit my physical ceiling. Should I try it? Is that cheating? Is it unsafe? And I love this next one. Will I have to do it forever? Great question, Justin. I'm going to punt this one to you. It's such a good question. And to your point, Jess, I feel like you've opened up one social media app today. And if you follow anything, fitness, nine out of 10 of the things you see are going to be somewhat about TRT or some kind of whatever it may be. But to answer the first question, you know, he says, I'm 45 and I feel like I've hit my physical ceiling. Should I try it? I would not jump on the bandwagon just out of seeing other people at the gym who are, you know, bigger and, you know, they look enhanced. Does not necessarily mean they may be on TRT. They could just definitely be blasting gear, which is another a totally different thing. You know, is it cheating or is it unsafe? Is it cheating? It's cheating. if you don't need it and you're taking it, then yes, that is technically cheating in my opinion, but I'm not a doctor. My doctor told me that I was diagnosed with hypogonadism due to many different factors, some of them being choices I made in the past, which do involve lasting unsafe amounts of gear. So unfortunately, I have experience on both sides here, but I would say get your blood levels checked and talk to your doctor. Talk to a hormone specialist. The best thing you can do is find out what's going on under the hood. You have a lot of questions, that's where you're going to find your answers. Do you need to be on TRT? I don't know. How do your levels look? How do you feel? My journey with TRT was a 12-month journey of doctor's appointments trying to figure out why I wasn't sleeping, why I was depressed, why I had no motivation or sex drive, which are all things that never previously used to be issues for me. I met with urologists. I started a low dose of injection called Zyostad, which my urologist, I will not say the name to bash them on air, but they were, it was a horrible, horrible experience. Ended up talking to a friend who was on TRT. He's like, yo, talk to my hormone doctor. It's very in depth. And then I met Dr. Todd Kelman from Santa Monica, a regenerative specialist. And he spent a 90 minute phone call with me the first time I talked to him, running me through how everything works, why TRT is a thing, what hormones to look for that aren't just testosterone and free testosterone, but why there's so many things that go into this outside of, hey, man, I want to get bigger or I want to wake up with my dick hard again, like you used to when I'm 18. Like you got to it's not just, oh, I see people in the gym who are bigger. They must be on gear. First off, get that lazy ass assumption out of your head. You think they're bigger than you. They probably are. Are they on gear? Maybe or maybe not. But rather than saying that's not fair, work harder. Like steroids and TRT aren't a magical pill that you just take and you're automatically huge. Diet, training, all those things that people forget about when you say the word steroids are just as important. In my opinion, a steroid cheating. I mean, yeah, you don't need them. But I mean, you talk to anybody who's a competitor these days or anybody who steps on stage, they will disagree entirely and say, shut up. You do need them if you want to compete at that level. And to a degree, they're not wrong at all. Like everybody is blasting unless you find, you know, the natural competitions, which I still have my doubts that some people aren't taking something. But, you know, is TRT great? Yeah, TRT changed my life. It's amazing. I would not say don't jump on it because everyone's talking about it. Talk to your doctor. Think. How do you feel? Are you sleeping great? How's your sex drive? How are you motivation wise? How's your depression, anxiety? That's something that you struggle with. Like, it's not all about how big my muscles are to determine whether or not one, somebody's on to your gear and to if I need to be. I would say, would it be cheating or unsafe? Only if you hop on without talking to a doctor and did it without seeing what your blood levels are and if you actually need it. Will I have to do it forever? That's a tricky question. Obviously, when you know you start taking TRT, your balls stop working essentially on their own. So you are now putting an outside source of testosterone into your body, which essentially shuts down your balls even more. So without that, you then have to take other things to get your natural levels up if you do decide to stop taking TRT for whatever reason. My opinion and my prayer and hope and wish is that something comes out soon or down the line in regards to testosterone replacement therapy that doesn't involve sticking a needle in my leg three days a week. Until then, I will take that pain and that annoyance. It's not even a pain. It's just annoying based off of how those benefits outweigh those cons. You know, so I think TRD is great. But to short answer the question, which I did a horrible job at, as always, if you're 45, if you feel like you've hit your physical ceiling, talk to your doctor first. Don't let Instagram and podcast people tell you whether or not you should be on TRT or not. Talk to your doctor and get your levels checked. That's the only way you're going to know anything. Get your blood work done and get it done consistently, not just before you do any of this, while you're doing it too, and even afterwards as well, depending on what it is that you're talking about here, whether it's TRT or whatnot. But doctors are going to be your best friends with that. Good ones, I would say. And if anyone needs recommendations, more than happy to chat offline about all of the hormone specialists that I would love to recommend to people. Yeah, man. Well said. Speaking from experience too, I jotted some notes down as you were talking. What's interesting about Keith's question is he doesn't speak to some of the other reported benefits of TRT, mood, sex drive, some of the more cognitive benefits. Keith is really just saying, this dude over here looks jacked. I'm not. I want to be that. Should I do this thing? He must be on gear. Yeah. And I'm assuming Keith wants all the benefits, but I would just say, if anything, I'm just sort of summarizing your feedback because I guess I agree, but obviously I haven't done TRT. But I think step one, if you've hit your physical ceiling, I think step one might be, well, assess your training and your nutrition and your sleep and your stress management. Maybe make some tweaks. Maybe the first step is talking to either someone you know who's really experienced with training, right? And then maybe monitor. And if you're still not breaking through that physical ceiling, maybe to your point, Justin, I feel like your main point, which is great advice, talk to a doctor. And if the doctor lifts up the hood, looks at the blood work, looks at those things and says, yeah, you know what here, Keith, you could benefit from TRT. Do it under the recommendation and guidance of a doctor. And I would agree with that. Because if you're just looking at some dude and you're like, I'm 45, I'm not jacked. I want to be. And you just jump all the way over to TRT and gear. I would say you are cheating. It's probably not safe. And then if you're not doing it under the guidance of somebody, how will you even know when you should taper it down, lean in and, and the do it forever question. That's what would scare me. It's like, when you go down that road, I even had a conversation with someone I know who is considering Botox. and I was like, okay, so you start doing Botox. My understanding is that it's a temporary solution. Are you opening Pandora's box now where it's like, I need to now do Botox to chase the way I wanna look for the rest of my life. And does Botox open up the door to some other cosmetic surgery? Now, all of a sudden, there's all these investments and you're just chasing this look for the next three decades. Or do you just wanna kind of settle into natural limitations and just be happy with what you got? I see parallel there. very very very well said just everything you said there and i think the last thing i would say and you kind of alluded to this as well as like trt and even gear in and of itself it's not that shouldn't be where all of your eggs get put into in terms of like looking for results to your point you're going to get a hell lot more out of diet and nutrition and training than you are out of trt alone so like it's not going to be something that like oh i just want to get bigger i'm not going to change anything but stick this little needle in my leg twice a week and hope i get huge like that's not how any of this stuff works. And to your point, I can go on for 90 minutes and I'm going to shut up right now about all the other benefits that come along with this outside of, you know, the physical stuff, because to me, that is the whole reason why the mental side, it's the whole reason why I will sing TRT from the mountains, but I will save that for later. Well, just to weigh in here, I do have a note. What is TRT? and then gear you helped me get there showing that that's a term for steroids just to kind of take a different approach it's easy to say but comparing yourself to others is never something you want to do especially in a gym I don't know how old these people are that he's looking at I think you have to try and like I'm I just turned 40 and I'm finding I'm clumsier I'm getting injured easier my back I'll pull something nothing's changed in my form but the body begins to break down at a certain time you shouldn't really push yourself if you feel you're hitting a plateau I'm not saying you shouldn't change it up try and push through that but if you looking to continue to bulk bulk bulk I think you have to find it if there another question in this ask us anything where we kind of talk about other types of lifts whether it CrossFit or Orange Theory. So you kind of, I just think you have to find what you're comfortable with. I don't think comparing yourself to these people, everyone's different. You guys have talked about it, like genetics and things that have an impact. Even if you do put something into your body to help this, you know, you brought up a good point with competitiveness. I didn't realize, you know, you I know you take things to compete. And I wrote, is it cheating if everyone's doing it? I mean, it's not if everyone's doing it, but if you ask that question, is it cheating? And you're just trying to work out just to be healthy, you should probably focus on the health benefits of it first, not how you look. I think the look of you will come with a concerted effort to just be healthy. Well said, Dave. All right, let's be honest. You're probably not a professional athlete with a personal chef and unlimited recovery time. 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That's puristnutrition.com because your nutrition should work as hard as you do. Great question and hopefully great answers. Next one, man, this next one is a tension that my wife and I have been living, I feel like, since we started having kids almost eight years ago. Great question here. Connor, New Haven, Connecticut. it. Connor asks, how do you protect your training time when you have young kids and a wife without feeling like a selfish asshole? My wife supports it in theory. That's a heavy statement. My wife supports it in theory, but I can tell she resents me disappearing to the gym. Great question. So I'll, I'll start with this one. Obviously there's tension around this topic. The first thing I'll say is he specifically calls out young kids and a wife. And I would say that having young kids is a temporary season. That season ends. And anyone that has have young kids or has had young kids understands this question if you're trying to prioritize training. But I'll say this. I believe that training and your health, I'll put it that way, your health should be a non-negotiable that both mom and dad, if it's a two-parent household, need to find time every single day to prioritize their training and their nutrition so that they live longer and they're healthier and you model it for your kids, period. And then the question is, well, how do you do that? And way, I'm going to word is, how do you do without putting additional pressure or stress on your spouse? Because if you are training while the spouse is managing the kids, you are asking something of them to do it. And I would say, I don't want to oversimplify this one such way to do it. And it's my advice to Connor is you should prioritize your training early in the morning so that it doesn't impact your kids and your wife. Now that's going to be harder if you have a newborn or a one-year-old who's waking up through the night. There's no magic kind of bullet or magic answer here. You are going to have issues trying to prioritize training when you have certain younger kids, but it is seasonal. So what I'll say is you almost have to have, and this is my opinion, an agreement with your spouse or partner that A, it is a priority and B, we're going to figure out how to do this together so we can both prioritize that time. So it's a give and take, right? perfect example and real life example on a Saturday, I might say, okay, Meg, I'm going to train from 6am to 7am. If any of the kids wake up early, that's you. You're going to train. I don't tell her, but she'll say, okay, and I'll train at 2pm when our two-year-old is napping and the other two kids are here. And Jesse, that's going to be your running point. That's an agreement so that we both have that time. Another way to do it is find a way to train together. Maybe you have a gym that has childcare and you bring the kids there together and you have an hour and it's like a date and you train. But my point without getting too much into how you do it, as I think it needs to be an agreement between the parents, I think you need to support each other and find ways to give each other that space. And I think that if you are getting frustrated, you just have to vocalize it. But that just gets into healthy relationships, because it sounds here, like he's not sure, you know, it says like, she's resenting me and things like that. Well, I think maybe then we need to figure out how to have healthy conflict starts with an agreement that's priority. And then you got to work it out together. And then lastly, I think you have to acknowledge that it's a short season. Like you're not always going to, your kids will grow up. They'll be independent in the house. You can do more things with them so that you can train. So you just got to get through it, but it takes teamwork with your partner. I think you nailed that one, Jess. I think like for me, it's like the perspective heading into these conversations, knowing that it is a season of life that's going to end. And you're probably going to wish it didn't when the time comes that it does. But I understand, cause I remember going through the same thing when the girls were super young with Alyssa of like, I have to get to the gym. Like, you know how important it is to me. And like, that's how I approached that conversation with her rather than saying like, look, I know you want to get to the gym. I want to get to the gym. The kids are being themselves, they're babies. Like, how do we, we got to make this work. So like, we got to rotate, like it's going to be, it needs to be flexible. And I think having the perspective of this as a season, like we need to enjoy this rather than view it as an inconvenience to our schedule, but viewing it as a blessing that is going to come with some challenges, but these two truths can still be the same thing at the same time, right? Like, yes, it's important, but also this is a phase let's let's we're going to make it work yes but we got to be willing to bend a little bit you know yeah yeah be flexible i think i wanted to know about his family dynamic is his wife a stay-at-home mom so she's with the kids the whole time and then he comes home from work or on the way home from work stops at the gym and then comes home just an added hour and a half or something to the work day and the mom is just pulling her hair out when he comes home and he's you know hey how are you and she was you know looking at the clock at five hoping he'd be home and then he's home at 6.37. So that's one thing. Thinking about compromising, like you said, Jesse, working with your wife or spouse just to figure out what works for you. You have to sacrifice a little bit. If you're used to an hour plus workout, like you said, the small season of young kids, you might have to sacrifice a little and make it a half hour workout, change it up so that you still get the stress relief and health benefits, but you aren't taking so much time in between sets. You're not watching the TV. You're not hitting the treadmill. You know, shorten your workout a little. Something that we did, we kind of saw it. And I hate it. As I was writing this note, I was like, I don't want to come off as that. Well, you should have thought like me before we had children. But something that was important to me was being able to work out and thinking about that drive time to the gym, the workout drive time back. That takes what two hours potentially, right? Depending on how close you are to the gym, we invested, you know, part of our right before our daughter was born, we invested in a home gym and we made it. So you just go in the garage and your motivation now falls on your shoulders to just wake up or whatever and do it when you can. Cutting out that drive time by having something in your house has really helped us. And now I haven't been to a gym since my kids really have been born because it's all here. That's something to think about if you find that even with our kids who are older now and more independent, you involve them in the workout if they're around or you if your wife or spouse needs a like an opportunity to do something for themselves and you still want to work out the kids can go out there with you or you just make them part of it have fun with it and you just have to think about what what are your priorities being with the kids being with the family is definitely a priority but if working out is one for you work with your spouse to figure out even if your spouse is not like well i don't want to train i just want to go upstairs and read and look at a wall or just get away from the kids. That's their time. You have to respect that. If your priority is working out, theirs is different than yours. You still give the same amount of attention and love to their priority as opposed to yours. Yeah, I love it, man. This next one. It's not really laughing because I know what it is. Oh, it's again relatable in the parenting vein, okay? I'm just going to read this one verbatim. Chris from Colorado Springs, we will not dox you. don't worry your kids and or wife will not find out that you asked this question but your name is chris and you're in colorado springs here's chris's question i love my kids but honestly i don't love hanging out with them all the time i feel like a monster saying that do you guys actually enjoy every minute with your kids or is that just instagram bullshit chris you're asking the real questions my guy chris man coming in coming in hot all right uh Dave, I'm going to punt this one to you to start this one out. We talked about a little in the text prior, but I feel attacked personally. I am a stay-at-home dad. So it's funny that I get the kid question. I chose this randomly. I flipped a coin. It was a one-sided coin. I don't know. It was weird. Dave, again, Dave shows up Dave every time. Well, you asked the right person. You are not a monster for saying that. I think back to when I was with a young, my son was young, young under a year, and he was not speaking yet. But he was making a lot of noise. We called him the pterodactyl shrieking noises that just were too much to too much for me to handle. Now I always put myself up against my wife as like patience levels. And you just have to accept that you're not going to be the same as your spouse. I'm not going to be the same as you two either. What can you handle? You still have to do a good job. You can't let your patients, your impatience get the better of you and you start yelling at the kids or taking it out on them. I remember, you know, if you're scrolling on your phone and your kids want your attention and you yell at them, it's not their fault they want to be around their parent. It's your fault because you're not engaging with them at that time. Now, the question is specific to, I don't want to be around them all the time. You shouldn't feel bad about saying that. You don't want to be around anyone 100% of the time. You need a little bit of a break from anything, not just specific to children. Yes, young children have the hardest effect on you because with this going bad and finish that story about my son, I would put earplugs in around my son while he's shrieking like a pterodactyl. And I used to get made fun of other people would come in and I'd have earplugs. But that's just how I dealt with it. I was still there. I could hear him, just not at the decibel level that everyone else was hearing. and it helped me do my job better. You find things that work for you. This is something specific that just happened to me. I was away. I'm around the kids a lot. That's why I feel attacked with this question. They're a little bit older. They're definitely independent, but they definitely come home and they defer to me. Daddy, can I do this? Daddy, can I do this in front of my wife? You know, it's kind of an interesting dynamic where they go above my wife and just ask me to do things. And half the time, I'm like, oh, just ask your mom. But they're just used to me. So I went to a coach's clinic for softball. I'm gone the whole day. I miss my son's basketball game. And I found, I'm like, good, I get time away, right? This is a day for me. But I found myself around game time, checking my texts, trying to see, all right, how's Harrison doing out there? How come no one's, I want to get, I want to be there. I miss it. And there was a point in the afternoon of this clinic where I'm looking through my phone and I stumble upon pictures of my kids. And I found myself for like two minutes, just scrolling through pictures of my kids. It's been six hours since I've seen them. and I'm still drawn to them. So I think it's not just a stay-at-home dad thing. I think you do need that little like, oh, I need to be away. Like you prioritize that for yourself. Get 10 minutes can do wonders for you to just go upstairs, stay off your phone, but like stare at a wall. It used to be just, I need to get away from the noise. I need to put headphones in with ambient music and just stare at the wall. But then you come down refreshed. These are things that are important for your mental health. No one is designed to just be constantly around them. your kids can be monsters, but you don't want that to be the reason that you become a monster. And then they remember you for that. You need to think about yourself. But when you're thinking about yourself, you're actually helping your children, one, to be more independent, but also not to just be constantly on top of you. Very well said, man. It's the way the question is worded is it's funny, but I mean, it is I agree. I can't disagree with anything you said. First of all, I think I should shut up and I'm not going to because you said it so amazingly and I'm probably going to ruin it. But the part, the point that you're making around like checking mom and dad first, like checking ourselves before we start saying like, I don't want to be around them. Right. They're too much right now. Like, okay, well, why, why are they too much right now? And I go into this a lot. I feel like on some of the episodes, we're like looking at like, why are you ever stimulated to the point where like your kid asking you a question is enough to make you want to scream. There's absolutely to Dave's point. Like you don't want to, you can't be around everybody, anybody a hundred percent of the time. Like you need that time to be you, to decompress, to have you time. And like, that doesn't necessarily mean like your kids are assholes because they want to be with you. But like, I get the notion of like, they're loud. I'm overstimulated. I'm tired. It's the end of the day. Like, I just, I need at least 10 minutes. And there's nothing wrong with that. You know, I think another perfect example, listen, and I finally got the opportunity to go away for two nights. Just turned out, we went up to the mountains and Catskills. We run in a really tiny cabin, nothing special. And it was life-giving and recharging and amazing. And like, it was just us two. And it was so hard to leave the kids. And like, as much as we were looking forward to, we were so ready to go. Like we were there and being there for like two hours. Like there was a hot tub on the deck. It was like snowing out. We're sitting in the hot tub. We're like, oh, this is great. Maybe like 20, 15, 20 seconds of silence. And we both look at each other. Like we missed the kids. I missed the kids. Like I missed the kids. So like it's keeping your ability to parent at the highest caliber by taking care of yourself and whatever degree that looks like. Obviously, we can't all go away to a cabin in the middle of nowhere for the weekend. It doesn't need to be that. But waking up earlier in the morning to get your workout in. So that way you're the best dad and husband and parent that you can be by the time everybody wakes up because you already took care of you. You had that you time, you know. So that's been one of the best helps for me has been the waking up early again and getting the workout in and starting my day off with endorphins rather than me waking up as the kids are waking up pissed off because my back hurts half asleep and groggy bitching about work you know what i mean so it's all about understanding that we all need alone time i think but also that you got to take care of yourself first so you can take care of your kids and everyone else better you know what i mean love that yeah in other words you can you can kind of take steps and structure your day so that you are enjoying as much time as possible but you you have a way to control. Common thread between the two of you is that I think you both agree. And I agree as well that like everyone needs space. And just because you say you need space from your kids doesn't make you a bad dad. This dude led the question with, I love my kids, but like he's acknowledging like I have a profound love for my kids, but I'm feeling this like need to be away from them. I don't think there's any shame. I think that's natural. And I think to your point, Justin, that's how you recharge so that you can dive back in and be the best dad possible. Do I enjoy every single minute with my kids? Absolutely not. I mean, my son looked me in the eyes as he dumped a jar of jelly beans on the floor yesterday and I'm staring at him. Like, did I enjoy that minute? Fuck no. I was like, come on, dude. Like it's eight o'clock at night. It's bedtime. What are you doing? What's wrong with you? I have all these thoughts. And no, that's not enjoyable, but I think it's okay to say that. Is it Instagram bullshit? And this is one thing I just wanted to add on this and then we'll move on. But I, I don't think all of like the idealistic parenting stuff on Instagram is bullshit. I think there's a lot of great motivation there. There's a lot of great inspiration there to have you try to like become a better parent. But if you're naive enough to think that those same parents who are posting that aren't having the same struggles that you are, that's when it becomes unhealthy because then you constantly feel like you're not meeting some expectation and you're starting to judge yourself. And I think that's where you get like the shame. So I think like anything else, even the Instagram parenting stuff, take that in moderation as well Because I think we all know every parent has their struggles and not every parent needs to be around or enjoys every single minute. And again, especially with young kids, because that's a unique puzzle that we're all trying to solve. Right. So to speak to that when you trying to use those Instagram parents as a model it important for you to understand that they projecting this out there And if you make a mistake in your home, yelling at your child or not listening completely or showing some anger towards them, if you're able to reflect on that, understand you made a mistake, speak to them about it. That's something we do in our house as best we can is making sure our kids know that we say sorry. It's okay to make a mistake. I'm sorry I reacted that way. I didn't understand the whole question. I didn't give you time to finish. They see that it's okay to make mistakes as they grow. My children are growing up. They're starting to be more independent as I touched on. And I don't want to hit that cliche. I wrote this down. I wanted to make sure I touched on it. You know, cherish this time with them because as they get older, they're not going to want to be around you. I'm starting to see that where they want to be with friends. They want to go outside. So you just have to like understand young kids still want to be around you. So the fact they want to be around you all the time is great. You want to push them to be individuals as well, get their time, but you are going to lose it. It's going to be fleeting. It's how you work with them now so that they understand that they can come back to you knowing that you built that foundation with them. Think about your parents, how many mistakes they made with you and how we were trying to model ourselves. You can't be perfect all the time. So your kids see that. So saying, sorry, or I apologize for something really goes a long way, especially as they get older with their relationships. Yeah. Do you guys think, we just had our small group last night. So I had four sets of parents, so four couples sitting around. We were talking about kind of the evolution of parenting as we go like generation to generation and the consensus in that group. And I want to get your guys' thoughts. But do you think like culturally, do you think that we're getting better at parenting? Like, do you think the three of us will be and are better dads than our dads and those dads by and large, right? Because you get, you know, you have people that are outliers. But like, do you think that we're getting better as parents? That's such a great question. And I think in certain areas, yes. I think, and again, I think that's subjective to obviously the degree of what kind of relationship you had with your father. I have been, I said this before, like I have been very blessed with an amazing dad. I'm, he's still my best friend. Was he a perfect dad? Sorry, dad, if you're listening. No, you were amazing. But I'm sure there's things that like, I'm not scarred from anything from you, dad. But like, I think the main point of what I'm trying to say is I feel like there's more of a concerted effort now amongst, and I'm going to speak just for dads, I think of dads to be more involved, to be not just the, Hey dad, see, I see when I get home from school, like, and just passing by, but like actively involved in your child's life from the time they wake up to the time they go to bed, like choosing to be there, getting down on their level and like having the conversations and questions with them that will avoid the trauma that a lot of us are working through still, you know what I mean? Like asking those questions that no longer are like big deals, but they're just part of your day to day with your kids, because that's the relationship that, you know, I feel like it's trying to be fostered. I think it's different in many ways. I think social media and everything else also was so much different than obviously it was back then, but it's a big factor in, you know, the highlight reels we see of moms and dads and everything of like what we're trying to think we're measuring up to, although I got to be like that couple because they do this. But like, I don't know, maybe it's wishful thinking to to a degree. But I want to say it's some of it's getting better depending on many factors. I don't know. So I'm doing a real shitty job answering this question. Well, you point to the difference between people's upbringing with their own fathers. I did not have a positive experience with my father as I got older. He had trouble as I guess he did better when we were younger, when I was younger. And then as I started to become independent, talk back as teenagers do, we definitely separated and I don't have a positive feeling about him. But I do believe from a dad standpoint, like all of my friends speaking to you two, too, you're really involved with their lives. I mean, you know, mom used to be my mom packed the lunches, drove us to school, picked us up from school, got us to the next sporting event, made dinner somehow worked a full time job. And like, what is my dad doing throughout all that? And now as I'm older, I'm kind of looking at that like, what the hell? Like what was going on? I would never imagine doing that to my spouse. I think we are exposed to more information now. So we're trying, as we ingested, it's up to us to make sure we're trying harder. I mean, there is a societal norm now. If you, you see a lot of dads involved, coaches, my dad coached my, there's things they did, but I think we've elevated that game to be more involved in the diaper changes. So speaking with my wife's father, you know, he, he always said he wasn't involved in changing diapers, small things like cooking dinner. He did other things, but I think we're now taking on a different role and we're, it's more 50 50 in the household. Um, speaking one point to, are we better parents overall with the helicopter parenting? I'm, you know, with you have, where's my kids at all times. You have kids with these smartwatches. They're eight years old and they're getting texts from their parents asking where they're at. Now, when we were growing up, my mom was a little more on top of me. We didn't have that, but she was afraid for me to like ride my bike 10 minutes away somewhere. We certainly want to know where our kids are now, but we have a check-in time. Like you're wearing a watch. You have to check in in 15 minutes as they build that trust. You start to push them. Okay. You don't have to check in for 30 minutes, 45 minutes. We don't need to be, you want to give them that independence. I think if you're constantly watching them on top of them, you're starting to push it. I'm not trying to go off tangent here, but overall, yes, I think we are better, but with the level of information we are exposed to and trying to watch out for our children, are there people out there that are watching that? You know, who's out in the neighborhood when your kid's out there? I have that feeling of nervousness. I don't have, I don't know where they are right now, but it's okay. Sometimes our parents didn't know where we were all the time. And I just don't know if it's worse now in that sense than when it was. Yeah. Well, as you guys are talking and I'm listening, I also thought of an adjacent topic that has something directly connected to parenting, which is divorce, divorce rate. And I was having this thought yesterday because I gotta tell you, if I just kind of like audit or think about everyone that I know, grew up with, college, et cetera, it just felt anecdotal, like there are not a lot of people getting divorced. And there's this age, people that I know, right? And there's this kind of age old statistic that stuck with us for what feels like 30 years, like 50% of marriages ended in divorce, right? So as you guys were chatting, I just actually pulled up the statistics and I had no idea, but starting in 2011, every single year up through 2023 is the latest data I have, every single year the divorce rate went down starting in 2011, which is amazing. And then it says here that, and it actually calls out here, it says the commonly cited 50% divorce rate figure is just no longer a fact. Lifetime estimates suggest roughly one third of US marriages end in divorce in 2025. So I think when you talk about parenting, I mean, what could be more catastrophic for a child than the family unit splitting? And I'm looking at the three of us on camera, two of the three of us had that happen in our very house. You know, whether it was a legal divorce or not, we had like a separation. So if you just look at us as a small sample and then just anyone listening or you two too, like think about your friends, your family and stuff. My sense is that for whatever reason, couples are staying together more. That could be social pressures around the access that social media gives other people's to our lives. Like when things happen, when relationships fall apart, it's just like public meltdown. Everyone knows, everyone talks, they see you update your profile picture, your Facebook status. I don't know how much of that has to do with it, but either way, we don't have to get to the bottom of it. But I think it's also encouraging to note and to know that parents aren't getting as divorced as much. And I think that's going to be obviously a net benefit to the next generations as they grow up. So, and you're right, Dave, this could be its own episode. And it pretty much has. We've talked about parenting quite a bit on this show. Let's be honest. 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And I might even say, and also the kids are melting down. Justin, why don't you take that, man? First off, Melissa, congratulations to you for being able to cut that down on the physical part and that not being the biggest issue, I would say, or challenge. Similarly to me, I was one of those as well. I was never daily drinking and like being physically addicted to alcohol was not ever my problem. Mine was was the binge drinking. So it was when I'm stressed, I need something that's going to shut it off. What's going to do it better than vodka? So that was that was my issue as well. So I think at first, my mentality of all of this stuff was like, OK, I'm replay I'm removing alcohol. What can I replace it with? And that's exactly where I continue to get myself in trouble because it was like, OK, What can I do to fill that void besides doing the hard shit that I know that I need to do and look under the hood? But that being said, like, I would be naive to sit here and say like, hey, eliminate all your stress and you'll be fine. We're all going to be stressed, especially if we're all parents are having full-time jobs or even part-time jobs. Like, life is going to be stressful. So I wish I could sit here and say, here's what I replaced alcohol with and it fixed everything. but I don't honestly, I don't have one thing that like I replaced alcohol with to, to make me feel better. Like I know I'm at a different point in my journey than maybe a lot of listeners are. And I know there's listeners who are well beyond what I have in terms of sober time too. So I think making a lot of changes throughout your day to try and, you know, limit that stress and that I'm going to keep going back to the starting your day off with a workout thing. Cause that's the vibe I'm in right now. And that's the life that I've been living the last two weeks. And I would like to say that it's been helping in many, many capacities, especially the stress one. So doing small things throughout the day to try and help limit the stress, whether that's 10 minute walks, whether that's, you know, breathing exercises throughout the day, whether that's meditation, journaling, like we don't have to always have this thing in our head that tells us that at the end of the day, I'm going to get rewarded with a glass of wine. And that's how I know that I am no longer stressed out. So I would say, try and shift your perspective to thinking that only alcohol is what going to help me, you know, alleviate stress. Jesse, I feel like there's about 19 episodes at least of recommended supplements or things to help alleviate stress as well. If you're looking for like, you know, I need something external to help me because I know me and I need mentally like, you know, the theanines, there's so many different like PM, if it sounds like you're looking for like at the end of the day type stuff to help you physically unwind. Like I get wanting to have something to do that. And, you know, the GABAs, the theanines, the, um, Jesse, help me out. Give me a couple other ones right now. Astragonda, radiola, rosea. There's all sorts. Yeah. And there's literally supplements that come in drink form to help those with brains like ours, uh, to let us know like, Hey, it's okay to still have a drink. It doesn't have to be alcohol. You can still relax. Jesse's talked about Kava a bunch. I know that's been great for him. There's just, there's so many literal different products that I can't sit here and say, do this and you'll be fine. Understanding that we're going to have to get a little bit uncomfortable here and understand that we need to identify why we're putting alcohol on such a high pedestal for the only thing that's going to help us relieve stress. Because that's when the real things are going to stick out and you will find the real answers you're looking for as to, you know, why I am needing alcohol to, you know, unwind at the end of the day after work and after the kids, because I get it. Like I, you're going to be stressed in life. That's life and that's what it comes with. But I think we got some decisions and opportunities to make prior to getting to that point in the day that can help us when it comes time to figuring out how am I going to manage all this stress? You know what I mean? Yeah. Yeah. My answer, and then Dave, I'll turn it over to you, but mine's going to be less tactical because I think Justin hit on all the different ways. And it's going to be perhaps maybe a little more philosophical and even spiritual. But when I read this decompress from stress, okay, Melissa, you're stressed. I think you have to ask yourself why. And usually stress comes from feeling out of control in some way, shape or form. She specifically calls out work and kids. Both of those have a tendency to make us feel out of control, right? Or behind or struggling or stressed. So I would suggest that a huge step that Melissa or anyone can take is really ask yourself, why am I stressed? Because if you're losing control, your kids are dysregulating you, you're afraid of getting fired or not performing or work, whatever, there's a fear underneath there that you're afraid of. And I think the best way or a really strong way is not just work on the tactical stuff. Like, all right, I'm not drinking alcohol. Is it an NA beverage? Is it supplements? Am I moving my workout in the afternoon? Am I sleeping more? Whatever. That's great. Do the tactical stuff. But I think what I've learned personally, which makes me feel so much less stressed these days, that I've been always terrified of the outcome of my life. I've always been worried that for some way, shape or form, I'm going to fail. I'm going to get fired. I've had imposter syndrome in my life. And when you live your life like that, everything feels intense and everything feels stressful. So for me and my journey to have a better or healthier relationship with alcohol, I've had to really address the root problem, which is why am I stressed in the first place? And the answer for me was because I'm trying to control every aspect of my life. And when you live your life like that, you will burn out and you will get stressed, right? So I think if you can truly let go of the outcome, like the ultimate outcome of your life. How much did you save? You know, how, what is my legacy? How long do I live to? If you can work hard every day and make good decisions every day that are healthy and have discipline and have integrity, but like just work hard, but then let it go, let the outcome go. You're not going to interpret everything that happens to you as, as stressful. And then you won't or shouldn't need to turn to alcohol to help you decompress. So it's more like, Hey, are you letting go? And Justin, you know, we'd say, are you letting go and let God, right? Are you letting God control the outcome? I think that that's what I struggled with until I was like 40 and I'm 41. Well said, Jess. Thanks, dude. Yeah. I would say, Jesse, what you, you just touched on being able to focus internally, what's causing my stress, something you just said, I'm type A in the sense where I want, I guess it's OCD structure in your day and then if you go off the rails on something that wasn't planned all of a sudden i'm stressed now i'm i'm nowhere near justin with the six plus years but part of my i wanted to lose weight so i have not drank in 2026 i know it's only 19 days dude that's awesome man but i'm i actually agree with this question it wasn't that hard i don't feel the need right now you know i know there's times like Eagles game or just football being on and you just associate drinking with football, which is a pattern, something they're trying to do to you. And you have to accept that you're only human and there are things working against you and you just have to try your best. Things that I've done now, I've found that walking is really important for me. I used to think I have to run. I a man I working out walking for my mom who used to do it with her friend you know But I found benefits to walking I mean it takes a while It takes a big chunk of your day but you have to if you work it out where you structure your day in a way where that release that walk, whether you're listening to an audio book, you're talking to your spouse, music, whatever it is. And then just taking it back to kids. Cause that's, that's what I do. You know, you made the decision to have kids. You have to probably think about it internally. internally that's your problem. You did this. It's not the kid's problem. And if you feel that they're stressing you out, you just have to accept that that was your decision. Now you have to change something in your life, share something with them, start a new hobby, draw with them, put music on where they're quiet and they're drawing with you. And you're drawing too. You're not scrolling your phone while they are looking at you. These are things to work with them, drawing, reading with them. These are moments that you can find and you have to find joy in it. it's hard. It's not easy. You built up this conditioning to alcohol. Now you have to figure out what can I do to change? If you really want to change, these are the things you have to do. Find joy in these small things. Saving the best for last, Pure Fitness question here. Pure Fitness from Curtis in Denver, Colorado. Here we go. Curtis asks and says, quote, I can't choose a fitness program. There's too many options. I grew up bodybuilding like most 40 somethings, but now there's high rocks, hybrid training, CrossFit. Dave, you said earlier, orange theory, whatever the hell that is. Calisthenics, Pilates, help me choose something. This is Curtis. I'll go first. I'll try to keep it short and hopefully sweet and helpful. I think for Curtis, it's like, you got to ask yourself, what do you want? What do you want from your fitness? I think most of us want three things. We want to look good. We want to feel good. And I think these days there's more of a focus on living longer, healthier health span would be the way to summarize that up. You don't just want to be 80. You want to be 80 and mobile, have some strength, not fall down carrying your groceries, et cetera. So assuming that Curtis wants to look good, feel good and live longer, healthier. Um, I would, I would say you don't have to jump into some new fad, exotic, like the trend that pops in. Like I think of high rocks and I'm not poo-poo in high rocks, but like high rocks, CrossFit, all these intense things. I think if you just want to look good, feel good, live longer, healthier, like 2026, we know what works. Like we know how to change our body composition. It's through strength training, resistance training, if you will, building muscle, right? Like we know that you should do that. We also know that cardio is important and you should not neglect it. Gone are the days of admiring people who are just big and bulky and they look strong, but their heart is literally like dying and they'll be dead by the time they're 60. That's not cool. I don't think anyone should want that. Right? So I think cardio is a big component of it. I think there's more and more of an appreciation for mobility, flexibility, injury prevention. So all of that to say, I think for Connor, for Curtis, excuse me, I'm going to be very specific and say what I think you should do. Curtis is you should focus on strength training. I think you should do it at least three times a week. I think four is the sweet spot for most five. If you're really into it and passionate about it, I think you should layer cardio over that. So you have a strong heart that's going to last. And so that your heart can perform, I think you should make sure that you're investing at least 20% of your cardio time in really hard stuff, like interval training, assault bike sprints and things like that. Cause you want a heart that is flexible for endurance, but also can respond if you need to do more intense action. And of course, I think most of us know, and we talked about it the last week on the show, and we talked about cardio, that a strong or a higher VO2 max is a strong indicator of overall health span. Meaning if you have a heart that can conform at near maximal effort, you're going to have a higher VO2 max and you're going to live longer. So I think for you, Curtis, and for anyone strength training, cardio, if the community piece of it, meaning you get really jazzed up and have a lot of fun working out with other people in like a class setting, or maybe like a competition, then I would recommend looking at something like a high rocks, but high rocks, CrossFit, all that stuff has a high, high level of burnout. And because people jump into it and go too fast injury, because they just want to get in. They think they're comfortable. They start doing it. Choose something that you like to something that you can do long-term to something that's backed by science and choose something that we know is going to help you look good, feel good and live longer. And I think it's strength training and intentional cardio and make sure you're mixing in your mobility and your flexibility stuff too. Boom. Done and done. I mean, I don't, there's really, it's tough to come back to anything else. I'll keep this short and sweet as somebody who's in a leadership position at a marketing agency has been doing it for 17 years. Marketing has made fitness the most confusing thing and overcomplicated what should be foundationally simple. So I'm not going to say anything else with that. Go with what Jesse said. Don't overcomplicate it. Pick something you're passionate about that you enjoy and build from there, my friend. I would say it is overwhelming how many choices are out there. You have to take the time to learn, okay, what do I fall in if I do CrossFit? What do I have to do? Orange Theory, strength conditioning, strength workout, strength training, sorry. But as you get older, your body responds differently. So like when you touched on flexibility and mobility, I wrote that down for myself. That's kind of what I'm focused on now. Just getting up and down off the ground with the kids or like small stuff that I had a back injury back 15 years ago. And I'm really conscious of that. So I'm doing small exercises to make sure I build up those small core muscles that can at least support me just getting off the couch. So you have to think about what's important to you. And then maybe you take pieces of each workout and tailor to yourself, depending on time constraints or whatever works for you. Talking back to that last question where drive time, if you have small kids, if your time to drive to the gym is really long, then you have to tailor your workout to not make it as long while you're there. I would say it is overwhelming at first, but just pick on things you like and then make it fun for yourself. It'd be fun. And I've been kicking around this idea of this six hour fitness investment idea. I'll call it whatever I want to call it. But in my opinion, most people can achieve all of their fitness goals if they're willing to invest six hours per week. Six days, an hour per day, if you're really smart about it, assuming you're not trying to step on a bodybuilding stage or compete in a CrossFit Games. I think six hours per week, one hour per day with the rest day, I think is probably sufficient for most people, but what it gets into is what do you fill that one hour container with? Yeah, that part. Yeah. How do you squeeze in appropriate warmup and mobility and strength training and maybe some cardio, right? And we don't have to dive into that. That's for future kind of episodes, but I think six hours a week for most people is, in my opinion, it's achievable and it can get you everything you need. All right. Well, that's it for the audience questions. We have one exit question. We're going to go around the horn. And Justin, because you're to my left, you're going to go first. I don't know why that's relevant, but you're going to go first on this one. Last question. And it is this, and this has not come from the audience. This came from me. If you could go back and give your 25 year old self, I showed that age somewhat arbitrarily. If you can give your 25 year old self one piece of advice, what would it be? And would you have listened? I would have beat the shit out of younger 25 year old me. That's what I would, no, I'm kidding. I would literally look myself in the eye as just dead serious, calm and concise as possible and tell myself don't blink and to really look at what's in front of you from the day that you have it, because it can all go away real quick. And I would probably start almost crying like I am right now when I talk to 25 year old me. And I hope that 25 year old me would know that you don't got to go through the shit that I put myself through and focus on the doing the things that you know you don't want to do, but you should have done a long time ago will pay off dividends now and in the future. So I think that's what I would say to my younger self. Would you have listened? Knowing my 25 year old self? Absolutely not. I wish I would have, but lessons learned the hard way is my motto. And unfortunately, I'm still living by it. Dave? Well, I had a serious one. I'm going to try and go a little lighter here. I just thought of one. So I would say to my 25-year-old self, don't take professional or collegiate athletics too seriously. I used to live and die with the Philadelphia Eagles or the Atlanta Braves. I used to build up your whole day around them, whether you're pre-gaming or whatever, going to the game, just watching it. And then if they lost, which 95% of the time your team will lose, it would put you in a bad mood. you'd be upset for a couple days and you're just freaking out. You see these videos of people on TV, you know, they're breaking their TVs. They're so upset. The Eagles just lost in the playoffs. I'm watching with my son who's eight and I'm the whole time I'm thinking, I'm like, I know they're not going to win this. And I'm telling myself internally, don't show any emotion. And Harrison, it was like, it was that last drive. And he's like, I really hope they score this touchdown. and then in my head I'm like you know me too but also you're like yeah me too I really hope they do and then they didn't and he just looks at me right he's waiting for your reaction and I was standing on that fourth down play but then oh incomplete all right it's over it's okay and Harrison's upset but hey it's okay they got look how far they got you'd be happy with the moment and then you just move on and pick something else up you don't make it the rest of your evening I don't know if I would have listened to this and I still take it serious I still feel it but I'm certainly not as angry as I used to be and that would be something I would tell my 25 year old for me you guys ever see Goodwill Hunting? you and Robin Williams sits him down on the bench and says it's not your fault it's not your fault and then finally he breaks I probably would say something similar to that because my from 25 to like 40, even 38 was a reaction to a very short period of my life that was filled with like regrets, shame, sadness, trauma. And it was like basically 14 to 20. But I think even at 25, if I could sit me down, I could be like, look, man, like what happened to you is not your fault. What you did is not your fault. You're a good person. You are a good person and you will be okay. And that's probably what I would try to drill into that, Jesse, because I felt like, again, I was just reacting and striving and, and so concerned about the outcome of my life, which I talked about earlier, but it would be to try to get a point, try to get across to that young man. Like you are a good person and you don't have to prove anything. You had some tough times before you, but you got all the potential in the world. Just take it easy, man. Don't worry about the outcomes. You'll be fine. That's what I try to get across. Would I listen? No. That's the part that's hard. The listening. Yeah, no way. No way. But it's hard to wake up. Anyone can take reservations. How do you look in the mirror every day? That reservation is important. Yeah, but it's hard to look in the mirror and say like, you're enough. You're good. You're good. And that's a hard thing to do. I think that should be the goal for all of us. I would struggle with that now. Yeah, that's what I'm saying, dude. It's still hard. Yeah. Well, this was absolutely awesome. Thank you guys so much for joining for this Ask Us Anything. For the listeners, we are doing this every month, guys. Every month, look for it. the last Tuesday of every single month, these boys are going to jump back on. We're going to tackle your questions one by one as they come. But Justin, Dave, thanks so much, guys. I appreciate you. Thank you. Anytime. Well, that's our show, folks. Hope you enjoyed it. Hope you learned something. I just love, I just love having those two on. I mean, and back to the audience, man, these questions, these questions were so good and we really appreciate it. I mean, it really, it really touches on everything. that we try to discuss on this show, right? There's some great physical fitness training questions in here, some parenting questions in here. We talked about alcohol, just great stuff. So we appreciate that. I think if I had to kind of call out some of my favorite kind of moments from the actual episode, I loved hearing from Justin on the topic of TRT because he's lived that life and he's getting treatment, but also from Dave on that. And I think the common denominator around this question from Keith and Montclair, like, should I do this? is talk to your doctor, right? Go to your doctor. Don't just dive right into something, especially if you're not familiar with it. Just assess that you actually need it. I thought that was great. And then the questions around how do you prioritize training when you have busy kids? And then other parents in question of, hey, I don't want to spend every single waking minute with my kids. Is that a problem? Which of course the answer is no, it's not. I mean, you do want to strive to be the best parent possible, but we all need our space. And we need our space so that we can be the best versions of ourselves for our children and for our spouse, right? So just love that particular topic. And then of course, around alcohol, how do I de-stress? Because that is a common thing. In your late teens and 20s when you're in college, alcohol isn't necessarily used for stress management. A lot of times it's just that euphoric buzz and it's that excitement and the chaos of partying and things like that. But as we get into our 30s and 40s, when we're managing work pressure and parenting pressure and financial pressures, alcohol does kind of creep in as a stress management tool and it's a valid question to ask once i allow it to help me with stress how do i back out of that and what are the healthier things we can do and of course the answers there from the panel was one well yeah there's tactical things you can do you can go for walks you can sub out alcohol for other things you know non-alcoholic beverages you could take supplements you can manage your stress differently but then also like get to the root problem of the stress. Why are you stressed? Do you have too much worry? Are you trying to control the outcome of your life too much? So just some deep stuff for people to think through. And what we didn't cover in the show, I think if you are someone who struggles with stress, and I'm talking chronic stress all the time, consider therapy. It's something that I've done. It's something that Justin's done here on the show. And you'd be amazed at how with the help and the guidance of a professional, how they can help you really get to the root of those negative emotions and start to address them while you look at the tactical stuff. So just love that question. And of course, always, always love people saying fitness wise, how should I train? What should I do? We went into a little bit, you know, strength training and cardio, but I would say if you're looking for more guidance around strength training, nutrition, cardio, all those things, you know, just go into your podcast app, whatever you're using could be Apple, Spotify, and just scroll through our archives. I've had unbelievable guests on the show to talk about strength training. We've done solo episodes, deep dives. I feel as though all of the guidance that you could need is contained in the portfolio of the show. So go back and check it out. Also looking forward, something I'm really excited about. We're actually going to be offering free fitness programs, free fitness advice, nutritional advice, PDFs, eBooks to all of our audience. One thing that I absolutely hate, and I mean that I loathe it, is this like high ticket coaching environment. These people that will catch you with like social media reels and say, oh, you want to look good. Here's a fitness program. You go through their onboarding process. Next thing you know, you're paying a thousand bucks a month, 500 bucks a month for the same information that you can get for free. We're not selling anything on this show. We just want you to check in with us, learn and grow stronger week by week. So what I'm going to start doing is compiling all the different strength programs that are out there, putting them into these free resources. and if you click on it, you give us your email, you get part of our newsletter, you'll have access to all that information so that you can have the nutrition and the training advice that can really help you move the needle to get healthier without having to pay 500 bucks a month for it. So stay tuned for that, that'll be coming out. I always like to ask if you're still here, we would just be so grateful if you could follow the show, maybe leave a rating, a review, a comment, that really helps with the algorithm to take the show and to show it to other people, which we'd be so grateful for. thank you for that and then also um if there's someone in your life that you think would benefit from this show whether it's the tuesday deep dives or it's the health and fitness news on friday forward it to them you know just put in a text message sending to someone be like hey check out this show because all we care about around here is helping every single person that listens grow stronger week by week as a parent as a person your health your fitness all the things so that you can be happier and live healthier longer so thank you so much for joining the show we will see you next week Outro Music