Three Hot Takes | Reading Reddit Stories

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Indiana University of Pennsylvania opens doors. Learn more at IUP.edu. Hello and welcome to Smosh Read's Reddit Stories. I'm Shane, and today's theme is messy. And I am joined by two very organized individuals. Courtney and, from Two Hot Takes, Morgan Apsher. Woo! Back again. Back again. Are you organized? I'm not organized. I am the definition of messy. I mean, you run a big podcast. Pretty much all on your own. I feel like you have to be somewhat organized. It's a one-girl circus, and circus is the main thing. It is chaotic. It is not tidy. Not tidy. So I might fit right in with the stories today. OK. I love it. Let's see. And it's messy in the literal sense and figurative sense. Yeah. Some messy people. There's messy people out there. Yeah. I feel like I'm organized on the outside, but not organized on the inside. All right. Let's just hop in. Let's do it. OK. Here we go. First story comes from Relationship Advice. My coworker, an 18-year-old man, put me, 22-year-old woman, on a Hear Me Out Cake and posted it online. Do I take action in some way? Ooh. Ooh. What picture did they use? Yeah. Yeah. What? I feel like before we hop into this, Angela did have a pitch for a sketch, like for TikTok. This was months ago of us going in the line doing the Hear Me Out Cake, but then just suddenly someone puts just someone else in the line. So I was like, that's pretty funny. So then this story, that's a sketch. It's hitting home. If this actually happened in real life, it's really bad. Yeah. No, it would make you feel really uncomfortable. I think putting a coworker on a Hear Me Out Cake is grounds to be fired. Yeah. I feel like that's. You're supposed to put Shrek on there. Yeah. And Spirit, the horse. Like, this is not supposed to be real people. It's a double whammy of bad, because not only is that sexual harassment, then you're also insulting them on top of that. Oh, that's so true. It's not a compliment. Yeah, it's supposed to be like an unpopular opinion. Exactly. Yeah. This is bad on multiple levels. Bad all around. Several layers of cake. All right, let's OK. OK, I'm going to joke now before this gets actually messy. OK. Here we go. I work at a diner as a waitress with this kid. Let's call him John. John has always seemed pretty chill and busts my tables. Sometimes we chat if we are closing together, usually about school as he started college not too long ago, and I am almost graduated with my BA. Ultimately, we are friendly, but not friends. Last week, he said that he was part of a group chat with a handful of other coworkers on Instagram and asked if I wanted to join. I said, sure, because I haven't connected with people at the diner that well and figured it was worth a shot. We swapped instas. The group chat is very normal, friendly banter between coworkers. Yesterday, I saw that John posted a reel of him and a couple of his buddies doing their take on a hear me out cake, which is usually a very lighthearted and funny way of saying you would get with what are typically fictional and mostly animated characters. The entire cake adhered to that concept, except towards the end, when my face, a picture that he must have screen shot from one of my posts, is stuck on the cake. I was the only real person on that cake, and John actually made a comment about how attractive I was, and that he wished that he could hit that, but doubts he has a chance. No. I feel insanely grossed out and kind of violated. I want the video taken down, but I'm not sure if I have the right authority to do that. I ranted about this to my sister, and she told me to just take it as a compliment and be glad that someone thinks I'm pretty. It feels wrong doing that. Is this grounds for taking this issue to higher ups? I don't know if I'm comfortable working with him at the moment. Do I just take care of this myself and tell him that it makes me uncomfortable and I want him to take it down? It is a public video. I'm just uncertain how to move forward. Oh, yeah, that's bad. That's really bad. The only real person on the cake out of animated things and characters. Oh, and I'd hit that. Ooh, no, no. Doubling down even further to say that. I mean, the fact that it's a public video, too, this feels like a kind of sexual harassment, I'd say. It does. And I'm, I just, I don't know how to proceed, except you kind of should go to HR first. Let them see if they'll make it right and handle it, because you shouldn't have to have this conversation with him, that's so awkward. No. And I feel like we're kind of at this tough place right now where laws and things haven't caught up with technology and social media and AI and creating these images and things like that, so it's a really tough spot for OP to be in. It really is, it's really unfair to her. I do think she should take it to HR. What do I think is gonna happen with HR? What do we think this restaurant has in terms of top of the line HR conduct? I'm skeptical, I feel like with these types of situations, I'm waiting for that update of like, and they said there's nothing they can do, but she should do it anyways and try. Yeah, and a lot of times that does happen because they're, they pull the, well, it's outside of company time, he didn't make the cake here. Yeah, but social media, dude, it's like 24 seven, like. Yeah, you see it constantly, so at that point, you'd have to go to him and just, hey, inappropriate. Can you take it down? Also, I appreciate it. What was he thinking? I don't know what he was thinking. He's trying to shoot a shot. You think he wanted to, he like, he tends to say like, you should see my video. Yeah, yeah, 100%. A horrible way to shoot your shot. Ask her out kindly, you goofball. Yeah, what the hell. Like, that's not gonna do it. Yeah. Ugh. Comments on this, go up to him at work and say, hey, can you delete that video you made about me, the one where you printed a picture of my face and put it on a cake? It's really fucking weird. 14,000 upvotes. Yeah, it is weird. It is very weird. I think she has every right to say that. Do I think it's fair she should have to say it to his face? One is one thing. Someone said, this would make me uncomfortable too. I feel like he posted this knowing you'd see it and hoping you'd respond positively to it. Either way, it's awkward and I'm sorry you're in this position, I'm cringing for you. I think the fastest way to get it taken down would be to talk to him about not being comfortable with your photo on a public video. If he apologizes and takes it down, I'd say you may not need to escalate. If you have a decent relationship with your manager, it may not hurt to ask to shift your schedule around to avoid him too. Good luck, OP. Oh, sorry, thanks. OP responded saying, I was wondering if it was a tactic of some kind, like making a move without making a move? Yep. I don't know, he is too young for me anyway. I think I will see if I can get my manager to help with my schedule, but because of my classes, I don't think I could change much unless I want to work fewer hours. Thanks for the support though. I think I will try to word a message to John now, asking him to take it down. Can I just say one thing? For him to hope, like, check me out on Instagram, you'll stumble across this video where I happen to say you're hot or whatever. This man, cut your little face out with scissors, put it on a stick, got a cake. That's a lot of work to make sure someone sees that you think they're hot. Like that's a lot of weird premeditated stuff. Yeah. And I also feel so, like the whole taking it as a compliment thing, like, I would honestly say, like seriously, ew, you don't take sexual harassment as a compliment or anything that just, you don't feel comfortable with, you don't feel comfortable, that's valid. What I would do is just be like, I would DM him be like, hey, like, I don't know if you meant this as a compliment, but it actually like makes me uncomfortable and I'm actually like a little upset that this is public, that you put my face on a cake. Like, would you delete it or cut it out? Like saying something like that would maybe. It sucks that in so many guys' heads, they think this would work. Like this guy truly thought she was gonna come up to him and be like, hey, I saw that you're hear me out, it's where Nutella, Mojo, Jojo and me. Thanks. That's so cool that you'd think that. Someone else said, yeah, fuck this, don't take this lightly. Coming from a 31 year old man who has managed a lot of people, this is not okay by any means. Get a copy of the video, bring it directly to management. This is 100% harassment and you should never feel uncomfortable in the workplace by another employee. He needs to be reprimanded and discipline needs to take place or he won't learn from his fucked up actions. He's young, but he's an adult, he needs to learn this now. Lastly, someone said, nah, the worst part about this is that typically these cakes are for ugly slash weird characters or animals who you'd have to defend. So now I'd be paranoid that everyone thinks I'm annoying and ugly and weird. I'd be so hurt and freaked out. OP responded, thanks for that, LMAO. Oh. I wonder if it's still part of that logic that I could see an 18 year old guy thinking like, well, it's sort of an insult too, so she'll be into that. I don't know. There's not much logic going on here. That's what it is. Have you guys heard of negging? Yeah. That is what this is giving. I thought we moved past that. I thought that ended in like 2015. No, it's all coming back. No, I have like a bunch of girlfriends that are still single and the dates they will go on and the things people will say to them. It's like, they're like trying to almost be like, find that girl that's like, I'm not like other girls. And it's like, but that's not where we're at anymore. Like just go in, be cool, be kind, and you're going to get your person. But this, not it. No. I do think it is a common misconception that people think they hear me out. Kate, because just like your crush is that you're shy to share. I think people will go for it. What it originally was, which is defending a crush. And I think it's gotten so big that people think it's just you're a secret shy. Yeah. She's saying though that she was the only real person, which means his other hear me outs he had on the cake. Unless they ever, all of them are just putting one, but usually people put a couple. A couple. So that would mean his other ones were also fictional cartoon characters. They were objects or something else. He was definitely trying to shoot a shot. Absolutely. And appropriate gross way to do it. Yeah. And that was a TikTok trend. You're posting it on Reels? What the? Yeah, dude, cringe. Ew. Ew. So clearly he wanted her to see it. That's what the manager says. I'm just like, this wasn't posted on TikTok? Gross. All right. Next story. No update. No update. Pretty messy though. The messy move. Yeah. It's just immature. Anyway. Immature. All right. Indeed presents. Highers you can't afford to get wrong, like payroll manager. Hi, I was just checking my pay slip and it's all in Japanese yen. Yes, you're welcome. Sorry? Given the exchange rate between the pound and the yen, you're technically a millionaire now. Don't spend it all in one place. I can't really spend it anywhere. This is a job for sponsored jobs. This is what happens when you don't sponsor your job on Indeed. So the next time you need someone to get the job done right, get matched with quality candidates with an Indeed sponsored job. Visit Indeed.com slash NextHire and sponsor your job today. At IUP, grad school works with my life and my career goals. With 60 programs online, on campus, full or part time, Indiana University of Pennsylvania will open doors for your career. Visit IUP.edu. Indeed presents. Highers you can't afford to get wrong, like payroll manager. Hi, I was just checking my pay slip and it's all in Japanese yen. Yes, you're welcome. Sorry? Given the exchange rate between the pound and the yen, you're technically a millionaire now. Don't spend it all in one place. I can't really spend it anywhere. This is a job for sponsored jobs. This is what happens when you don't sponsor your job on Indeed. So the next time you need someone to get the job done right, get matched with quality candidates with an Indeed sponsored job. Visit Indeed.com slash NextHire and sponsor your job today. And IUP grad school fits into my life. So I can keep working while I build my career. And you can too. They have everything from MBAs to doctoral degrees to specialized certificates, all taught by nationally recognized professors. With 60 grad programs, I found one that fits my schedule. So find yours, either online, on campus, or a blend of both. Indiana University of Pennsylvania opens doors. Learn more at IUP.edu. Our next post comes from Am I the Asshole. Am I the Asshole for not wanting to remove my sister from the wedding party over a broken nose? That's awesome. All right. I love these ones. I, a 44-year-old man, am getting married to Amber, 35-year-old woman, fake name, next weekend. On Friday, I got a call from my youngest sister, Luna, 34-year-old woman, fake name, asking if I could pick her up from the hospital as her husband was away with work. Her job can be really physical and she's extremely outdoorsy and active, so her calling to be picked up from the hospital isn't unusual. When I arrived to pick up Luna, she was a bit of a mess covered in blood and when she smiled, she was missing a tooth at the front. Turns out she'd come off her bike and smashed her face on the pavement. She's knocked out a tooth, got a fracture to her wrist, grazes and cuts all over, including her face, and had broken her nose with some awful-looking bruising around her eyes, which has now come up. Luna's fine, just annoyed she can't ride her bike and needs to rest. She did ask me not to tell Amber, which I thought was weird. When I told Amber that Luna was hurt, she asked if any of Luna's injuries would affect the wedding. I said Luna had a fracture to her wrist, so might have to carry her flowers differently and might find having makeup applied uncomfortable as she had broken her nose. Amber told me that I needed to tell Luna she couldn't be a bridesmaid anymore. I disagreed as I don't want Luna to be the only sibling excluded, especially over a broken nose. Amber said that she didn't want wedding pictures like Luna's. She wanted pictures she could be proud of. In Luna's wedding pictures, she's got a busted lip because she got punched at work a couple days before her wedding, and her husband had a cut on his forehead from headbutting a table during his bachelor party the weekend before the wedding. What are these people doing? What's going on? What's happening? I was like, she got a busted lip from work? She's a, oh, she's a superhero. Yeah, God. In those pictures, you don't see the injuries straight away. You see how happy they are. Amber then told me that she told Luna that if she had any injuries to her face in the run-up to the wedding, then Amber was going to make Luna just a guest. I told her that I wasn't going to tell Luna that she couldn't be in the wedding party over a broken nose. Amber's gone to stay at her sisters as she's mad at me choosing Luna over her and our wedding. Her sister has messaged me saying that Amber's considering canceling the wedding because I'm not on board with her vision for our wedding and said that I'm being an asshole for not prioritizing Amber and her feelings. She also said that Luna knew what the consequences of getting hurt so close to the wedding would be. Am I the asshole for not wanting to remove my sister from the wedding party over a broken nose? Edit for clarity, this has gotten so many more responses than I ever thought it would. I've been reading the comments and it's been mentioned a few times about Luna's injuries and been speculated about how she gets them. My brother-in-law is not hurting her nor is she doing it for attention. She works in private security. She got punched before her wedding day, breaking up a fight. I was there when my brother-in-law cut his forehead. I saw him headbutt the table and went with him to the hospital. When she had her cycling accident, she was wearing her gear, had her helmet on, but she hit a steep curb after swerving because someone opened their car door into the road without looking. Before this, her last hospital trip and accident was just before Christmas when she broke her foot after dropping a kettlebell on it. Last year, that accident should have made me realize about Amber as she was upset that all the pictures that had Luna in them from our family Christmas, Luna had a boot on her foot. According to Amber, it was distracting in her pictures and there were a few comments on it on Amber's Instagram when she posted the pictures. Okay. Come on. What? Luna's hilarious. She definitely has that thing in her brain where she doesn't feel pain because otherwise, what? Zero fear. Everyone, this is my sister, Wiley Coyote. She gets a little messed up sometimes. It's Tom and Jerry. No, the- It's Tom and Jerry. Tom, Tom, Tom, Tom, Tom, Tom, Tom, Tom, Tom, Tom, Tom, Squish. It's kind of, it's unfortunately pretty funny. It's an accident. It wasn't like what she's supposed to do. Her job is private security. Like she's gonna get messed up. And it wasn't even from that. It was a freak accident. Yeah, someone opening their door. I think my job was open and like dropped the entire time you were reading. I have a lot of thoughts. Cause I'm like one Amber, Bridezilla. Like Bridezilla. I'm a bad one. If she's gonna call off the wedding because you don't want to exclude your sister, letter. Letter, not your person. Like, should be more of a conversation there and her like going off and kind of stonewalling Opie. It's like, this is my sister. Makeup these days can work wonders. And how often are you gonna look back at the pictures of the full wedding party? It's not really gonna be about that. But like, oh God, like I'm just like, I'm a little torn. I think it's a little frustrating that this bride is like, you don't respect my vision. It's like your vision is treating these people like objects that are props in this scene that is your wedding. And like, it's about being happy. And like, I'm so sorry that a boot killed the vibe in a Christmas picture. Christmas. I'm so sorry your family relative was injured and hurt and still wanted to be there because they care about you and their family. Like they all want to be there because they're family and they love each other regardless of what's happening. You can't, sometimes you can't prevent an injury. As careful as you can be. This person goes full send into life clearly in the best way, the person who has the injury. And I love that. I love that for them. Even if they were the most careful, something can happen. And because of that, they can't experience a very special day, you know? It's interesting because it's the opposite of so many wedding stories we read about where they're upset about someone upstaging them. And like, oh, you showed up in a white dress or you showed up like, we had a story where it was like, hey, this person's too good looking. They can't come to the wedding. Or else they'll look too good. This is the opposite where it's like, hey, you look too messed up. So you're going to distract because you're, you've got no teeth and your lip is messed up. Like such an interesting laundry. Big old, that's my biggest fear is walking up steps, tripping and cracking my teeth on a step. I think about it every time I walk up the stairs. The way you look so different with half a tooth. Did you lose a tooth? My sister did and we look very alike. So I saw that and I was like, not me. You saw a glimpse. I saw a glimpse. It changes you. If you ever break a tooth, you take a selfie of that. So you remember it for the rest of your life. It's an interesting thing of us working on a comedy YouTube channel is that if I break a tooth, you'll use it. I know that I'm like, hey, this is going to help me. I'm going to be like, like this is going to amplify what I do. You know, like if I work, if we film something here and someone has a chipped tooth, I'm like, hey man, you're going to get all the attention because you look funnier than us. Maybe you should step out. You immediately step out. You're going to make us look bad. I need to break my teeth. Oh my God. I think there's some red flags here. The Amber, the wife, or the Amber, the fiance is talking a lot about how this wedding is like hers. She doesn't really seem to be thinking about how the wedding is like a joining of two people and viewing her husband as a team member. Also, if you're literally like leaving your partner's place and like staying somewhere else in the days leading up to a wedding, it's like, maybe you should delay this. Not a good sign. This is not the grounds for a solid wedding. It seems like she cares more about the optics, more about the wedding versus the marriage. Like she just wants to get married to have the wedding. And this beautiful vision. And it's like, that's not what it's really about. Right, it's such a privilege to be able to have people you love stand there next to you and support you. And like the fact that his family's all in good terms, like this is the ideal day. And you're gonna kick her out cause she's maybe a little rough around the edges right now. People are not your aesthetic to like. That drives me nuts. I literally just had a story where someone asked her bridesmaids only because she thought they were all ugly. None of her best friends were included. See, and this bride's doing the opposite. Like bride wants everyone to look like supermodels apparently. Insane, insane. People need to stop losing their minds over weddings. As someone that's planning a wedding, it's not that serious. And we really objectify the idea of like everyone's position sometimes. Like that where it's like, I'm gonna select people that are not as pretty as me intentionally regardless of how much I care about them. Like, whoa. I'm just shocked. Yeah, no, it's baffling. It's also shocking just with the wedding of how much people are thinking about other people. I'm like, what are you, like, you're not focused on the person you're marrying. I also think there's the added layer. This would be just as bad if it was Amber's sister. But it's Amber's sister-in-law. And she's making this decision for her husband of your sister's not invited now. And it's like, did you consider how important that is to him to have his sister there? Exactly. But she's like, no, you don't need to make that decision. She's gonna not stay with him because she's mad at him. There's like a compromise here if you did want to compromise with someone like this. But I'd be like, okay, cool. She's not gonna be your bridesmaid. She'll be on my side. Fuck yeah. She'll be on my side. Like that's how you could work around that. But I think the flags are there. The sirens are glaring. You might have to lose some deposits and run from this one. All right, some comments here. I'm scared. I'm scared. So this was posted literally yesterday as of reading this. So there's no verdict yet, but most were leaning towards not the asshole, but some saying everybody sucks here. Interesting. This is interesting. I'm curious the take. Comments, notice she asked if her injuries would affect the wedding before asking about her future sister-in-law's well-being. Red flag. Oh, yeah, yeah. Concerned about the optic. 3.4,000 upvotes. Someone said this. She needs to realize that her wedding day is just the very, very beginning of a relationship, not just with you, but with your family. Treating your family ill from the start is not wise on her part. She needs to show more compassion and humility. Someone said a decent photographer could turn Luna into a giraffe. Bruises are nothing. Amber is way too an image obsessed, and if this isn't unusual behavior for her, I'd certainly be rethinking if OP wants to be in their life from now on. Maybe telling Amber not to come back or to the venue until she corrects her attitude might be the wake-up call she needs. Someone said, not the asshole, excluding someone over a broken nose is beyond ridiculous. I get it, she wants it to be a perfect image, but news flash, life isn't always perfect. Weddings aren't meant for the aesthetic. They're supposed to be showcasing your love for your partner with your family and friends. Okay, so lastly, someone said everyone sucks here. Your sister is prone to have little accidents. She's carefree, and while she doesn't care how she looked at her wedding, your fiance obviously cares. Your fiance even called it and informed your sister about the consequences if she's going to be injured. Your sister didn't care, wasn't careful enough, and knew the consequences. She's the asshole for this. Your fiance is the asshole for the way she phrased it, as if the pictures are more important than a good time. She's also an asshole for demanding that you tell your sister. Your fiance should inform her she's fired as a bridesmaid, not you. I know it's a hard situation for you, but you should inform your sister that she was warned, and now the consequences are not being a bridesmaid. This situation is not, I had an accident and I'm so sorry. It's, well, you told me I shouldn't do it, but I still wanted to, and now I'm injured, but I don't care, you should just accept it. I don't know how I feel about that. I don't love it. Because for one, this accident wasn't her fault. It's not like she's going out, jumping into pavement face first. She's in private security. She's like helping people. But someone just opened their car door. Like how do you plan for someone opening their car door, as you're peacefully riding your bike? She had the helmet, she had the gear. Yeah, I'm thinking about, okay, so any scenario where she was injured would have been bad. So if someone at her job assaulted her, would that count in the same category? It sounds like it. It sounds like she's just saying, you're not allowed to be injured for this. I don't understand. Accidents happen. Yeah. And Photoshop also happens. And Photoshop also exists. Photoshop, that is such a great point. Like get over yourself. I guess I understand, the comment isn't necessarily, the comment is still seems to say that the fiance is the bigger asshole here, but I don't know, I just don't think that logic works for me. No, because like it's as if she was trying to set a boundary like that people need to walk on eggshells and be careful not to get injured for my, like how do you, I don't think there is a right way around this person. Like this person expects everyone to kind of cater to how they want their life to be, regardless of how realistic it is. Like, hey, don't get injured. It's like, okay, I'll try. Like why are you gonna hurt me? Like what am I, how can one prevent life? Not everyone can be Adam Sandler in a bubble. Like that just doesn't, it's not reasonable. And we talk about like boundaries and like you can only create a boundary involving yourself. You can't dictate what other people are doing. So it's like, it's kind of an unfair ask. And I think that comment you read Shane, where they were like, they didn't even ask if she was okay, just if she looked messed up, like that speaks volumes too. Was that a bubble boy reference? Yeah. Might have been. I regret to inform you that was Jake Gyllenhaal. Oh, but what the heck? That's okay, I, Jake Gyllenhaal is so cute. And I got the reference. I was like, honestly, could be. It's a good reference though. I was like, I bet there's some movie where Adam Sandler's in a bubble, you know? Probably. Adam, I'm putting you in a bubble. Next time, grownups four, where are we at? Where are we at with that? All right, our next story. No update. No update. It's too recent. They're all, they're too, they're literally hot off the press, I know, I know. It was fresh. I'm not okay. Sorry. It's torture being on the other side of this. Sorry. All right, our next story comes from relationship advice. Say 26 year old woman, my husband, 29 year old man thinks it's a crime that his best friend, 29 year old man, bought me boots for my birthday. Need advice. My husband's best friend has sort of been adopted into our household after breaking up with his partner four months ago. We've always been extremely respectful of emotional and physical boundaries. The only thing that might have been a bit cozy was that I already cook for everyone. It just felt natural to extend that to him. Friday was my birthday. His mate got me new boots. I didn't realize it at the time, but it would have cracked the $600 mark. Whoa. Which is a lot. But considering the context, months of going out of my way to make sure this man who is important to my husband didn't drown, I already had an eight year old pair of these same exact boots. He would comment on them being worn out. God forbid he wanted a meaningful way to say thank you. I didn't even realize I wasn't supposed to be happy and grateful until the tension. When I went to bed and left both of them down there, it was probably the most insane blow up I've ever overheard on my birthday. Now I'm stuck between trying to defend this guy for my husband and not looking like I'm siding with his mate while he has such a warped idea of the situation. I've known them both for six years and this feels like somehow the breaking point. It's so stupid I could cry. Whoa. Okay. There's a lot to unpack here. I do think this type of scenario could be the basis for some drama. Boots is a weird $600. It's not about the boots. $600 a lot. There's a lot of gifts that if a friend got a partner, you'd be like, whoa, why'd you get that for them? Yeah. I guess I almost feel like I need to see these boots. Well, it's also, that's gotta be a struggle of if his buddy got his wife a father, like a far more expensive gift than he got his own wife. You can see how he's feeling insecure. Yeah, or thoughtful. Like granted a lot of money, but she's had these boots for eight years. Clearly attached to them, clearly loves them, maybe hard to find. So the buddy going out, spending this much money, buying these boots, it's kind of like a ICU OP. ICU. It's, depending on the boots and the love behind the boots, it could be a really intimate gift. And the husband's like, you see that? And I didn't get her something that nice. Ooh, do you have a crush on my wife? You got a crush on her? There's something like, cause you don't have a blow up over boots like that. Boots are like, yeah, I guess that's an interesting spot to be in, cause it's not like a dress, but it's not like a gift card to chilies, you know? It's kind of in a, it's kind of closer to the dress, you know what I'm saying? The price point is interesting, but it's like, I kind of want to see the, that's what I mean where I'm like, what do these boots look like? Okay, so we got some information. The husband got a heated blanket and her favorite perfume. Which could have been expensive. Could have been expensive. Oh my God, some perfumes. Some of those are insane. Like 450. Yeah. And perfumes, perfumes are very intimate gift, I feel like. Yeah, yeah they are. Like if someone gets that for someone, it's like, okay. Blankets even more intimate. Yeah. What happens under blankets? I'm curious though. I don't know. See, here's where I need more context. Was this like a perfume from like, I don't know, box store, it was 30 bucks, it's a spritzer and the heated blanket was like, you know, clearance rack, you know, winter's over. Like what are we working with? Cause then it's like, the boots are so thoughtful. Yes. Yeah, and this is his friend. Yeah. This isn't like her like childhood friend, or longtime friend, it's his friend, but he's been kind of taken under their wing for the past four months. Bad breakup. After a bad breakup. Yeah. He's just been living with them. He's financially okay though. Like it's not like he was not a boot. I'm not entirely. Right. That's what I'm saying. Like. It's a little confusing. There's not a ton of information in this story. Okay. But these comments might shed some more light. So some comments, someone said, too little information about the arrangements you two have with this guy about his living situation. Is he a guest or does he pay some bills and his necessities? Does he have a job in the first place? Opie said, he works with my husband. He stays at his parents on weekends and us midweek. He pays the utility bills. Someone else said, it's a bit pricey for the relationship and seems to outshine your husband, which is concerning. It's a discussion your husband needs to have with his friend. Nothing for you to do and nothing you did wrong. Someone said $50. Okay. Nice gift. Thanks. That's awesome. $100 gift. That's some red flag stuff, but maybe I can understand. $600 massive red flag. Why is my best friend spending that much on my wife? And she's okay with it. Lastly, someone said as an old married guy, my advice is to get this guy the fuck out of your house and your marriage. Wow. See, I get that. It would definitely give the husband maybe some reason to feel insecure and like, is something actually going on? Cause it is an intimate gift. It's expensive. Like $600. Am I missing something? Wild. I know. It definitely, it definitely draws some thoughts. So there was some other posts where I guess they clarify, it wasn't a financial thing. Like they took them under their wing, kind of more just like, going through a bad breakup, we don't want to buy himself in a party. Right. Yeah. That's a good friend. Which is fair, but also it kind of brings it back to the tone of like, I can see why the, is it husband? Husband would be upset. Like you came here cause you're from a breakup, you're heartbroken, you're putting this toward the woman in your life right now who's there. It's interesting to hear that he's like part time at two different places. Maybe to give them some privacy on the weekends. Like us there. Yeah. On the weekends. It's just, it's only been four months that they've like, that this arrangement. Which off, four months. And then four months. And then, but four months and then a $600 gift. Which, you think about it, like how much money he's saving on rent, basically getting a private chef with her cooking meals for him. Right. But it is still kind of like, hey, like you're kind of shitting in my Cheerios guy. Like this is, this is my wife. At the very least, at the very least, maybe he could have run it by and been like, hey, I really want to thank you guys. I feel like this would be a cool gift that I could do to just, but just letting him know. But this was a surprise to the husband as well. Also, if I'm getting that level of gift for someone who's not, not you, I would be like, I would need to run it by and make sure nobody else is getting them that gift. It's like, I'm spending $600 on a pair of boots that this person has a worn out pair of, is the husband thinking about getting these boots? You would want to think about that, but he didn't. I don't know. It's definitely, there's a lot going on here. Yeah. And so, so this guy, he's the husband's friend, right? That's the original. So like, though OP, she's been there and known them both around the same amount of time. She said she's known them both for six years. She's known them both for six years, but it sounds like it's his. She's his partner. So it's like, he invited his buddy into his home and she's, she's also her home, but it's like the connection is them two. Why is he doing that? And if it's a thank you to both of them, it should have been a, it's boots for Mary. Yeah. So I don't know. This is, this is textbook messy. I like it. What if he does, what if he is out there being like, I think she just serves better than the husband. Is this some love actually happening? We don't know. What? No update. What the? It was posted yesterday. Oh! Why is he doing this to us? I can't believe you did this to us. Go look at the account right now. That completely caught me off guard. That was really funny. I've never done that to him before. Ever. I just wanted to do it. I hope our audio only listeners. That sounded awful. It was a big fun. You just took him out. For people who are just listening to this and not without video, Courtney through the poof. I threw a poof at my husband. She threw a poof at me and it made me poof. Am I the asshole for throwing a poof at my husband? No, that was really funny. Yeah. No, not the asshole. It was very funny. I'm trying to put myself in this situation. Right? Courtney, I'm trying to picture this. The problem is, the problem is like, there's so many friends. I don't think this is out of the realm of possibility of like a friend giving you these gifts. It's just different contexts. Cause I'm just like, I don't know. I'm picturing everybody else at Smosh. And I'm like, I don't think I would think much of it. But we have such a different situation. Yeah, it's tough. Cause it's like, I'm trying to picture. And also like all of your friends are girls. So it's like, like. Yeah, it's like, okay. Like, green blacks for me. Yeah. Thank you. Good taste in boots, please. Don't get in between Courtney getting her boots. But I don't know. But I also could see it being like a, if it was a surprise gift and someone got you a $600 thing and they hadn't, and I didn't know about it. And I'd be like, oh shit, maybe my gift sucks now. Like I could see that being a thing. Yeah. That's, it's tricky. I think this situation specifically though is so tricky. It doesn't need to be though. And this is where people on Reddit just need to learn how to communicate a little bit. Ask him, hey, why did that, you know, make you feel a certain way? Like, did it make you feel insecure? Like, can you open up and like tell me, like, is there something I don't know going on? Like maybe it is a little love actually. Maybe the friend, six years ago when they met, they sat at a bar and friend said, dibs, husband's the one that actually got her. Like, we don't know the full context here. And maybe she's blissfully unaware, but like maybe there is some other tea there where it is messy and he does have a crush. And so the husband was like too far, back off, blew up. Yeah, I'm trying to picture being in OP situation of like receiving a gift that's so expensive. And it's like apparel, especially like from like, someone like in that dynamic, it feels, I would feel like I think I would be a little bit taken aback. And yeah, oh, and then like, if they were expensive, I'd be like, how did you get these? Cause I want to know like, oh, did you find them at Nordstrom Rack versus paying the full price at wherever? Right, because that matters to me to like, cause I care about being grateful to equate, you know. If you had a guy friend who bought you something, like how do you think it would go? I feel like when I fianceed Justin, I'd be like, hey, Morgan loves her clothes. I know. She doesn't have to buy them. A win is a win. I feel like that's kind of hard. We're just like, we're chill like that. I think it's like the trust that you have between each other, like to not jump to making those things. I'm also someone who like, in every step of the way, I'm always like, oh, how does this come across? Oh, I want to make sure that my partner feels comfortable, that they're not going to think about anything. Cause I could, I've been in situations in the past where I was thinking all those things, you know, where you're insecure. And so, I'm not saying she needs to think about that every step of the way, but she could, I feel like these dots are easily connected. Exactly. And she could go, oh, I could see how he'd be a little insecure. I need to just go talk to him and tell him like, there's nothing to worry about. I will say too, again, depends on the boots, but like there was a story a while ago where someone's guy friend got her like a first edition book. And it turns out this book was like three grand or like 2,500, like some crazy thing. Boyfriend had a problem, they fight about it. And it did turn out that that guy had feelings. Oh, yeah. I mean, three grand. It was a bougie book. A bougie book. And a book is like, that's like a collector's item. I can even see that being like a step away, intimacy wise, in terms of like, maybe everyone in this situation is all doing financially well. Yeah. You know, we don't know necessarily like. We don't, we don't have a lot of context on this one. Yeah, like what if $600 is like nothing to them? We don't know. It's like buying a coffee. I know, right? Yeah. Maybe not. I think it's definitely a story where in some context, this is nothing. Yeah. We just don't know. And I do think a lot of context, this is something. What if he gave her the shoes and she's like, oh my God, he's like, yeah, why don't you take those shoes off? Let those dogs out. Oh. Put the new boots on. Put the new boots on really slowly. I don't know why I tried to make it up one thing. I'm sorry. It's like we get an update. It's like, yeah, he's a foot guy. Yeah. So. He actually bought me the new boots so he could smell. Oh my God. He wants the old boots. He wants the old boots. That's the whole reason he did it. Oh. No, it's not. We have no update. I'm so sad. I know, I'm sorry. I'm gonna like literally go sign up for like post alerts from the account after this. I think that one is the messiest as far as a situation goes. That's messy. That is. Okay, our next one comes from dating advice. Indeed presents. Hires you can't afford to get wrong. Like a warehouse operations manager. Uh, where are the forklifts? I sold them. They were too expensive. I got a great deal on these scooters though. You expect us to move a two ton pallet on a scooter. It'll be fun. Just think of the core strength you'll build. This is a job for sponsored jobs. This is what happens when you don't sponsor your job when indeed. So the next time you need someone to get the job done right, get matched with quality candidates with an indeed sponsored job. Visit Indeed.com slash Next hire and sponsor your job today. Hi, I'm Rory Barnett and I'm thrilled to be narrating the audio book of Cameron Sullivan's The Red Winter. 1785, France on the brink of revolution and a centuries old monster slayer receives the news he fears most. The terrible beast of Gévoldin has returned and the French countryside runs red in its wake. Historical fantasy, snarky characters and edge of your seat suspense. You'll find The Red Winter read by Rory Barnett and Imogen Church wherever you get your audio books. Went on a date with girl, hit it off with her friend. I love actually. Okay, Ted Mosby. Like what? Yeah. I met up with a girl at a bar with her friends. Our first time meeting. The girl I met up with and I had fun, kissed a little, was fine. But her friend and I really seemed to connect. She was with a guy but said they'd only hung out twice. Now the girl I met up with wants another date, but she said she's going out with a lot of people right now and doesn't really know what she wants. I don't know if I wanna waste my time with that. Is it fucked if I follow her friend on Instagram in hopes of a follow back so I can DM to grab a drink sometime? Of course, the worst she can say is no. And her friend that I went out with would stop talking to me. But I need you people to help me ignore my moral compass here to make the move. Thanks. Hmm. Ignore my moral compass. I need help. I need bad advice. Let me be bad. Here's my thing. And I gotta say like, when it came to dating, I always sucked at it. I rarely dated. I hardly had any experience. I never had a situation where I like, was remotely close to this, right? So from my outside lens, I'm also of the opinion of just like, hey, it was one date, like you're showing up like, these are all strangers. You don't technically owe anyone anything. That's true. Look, if I was on a date with a girl and she came and hung out with a group of people and then she ended up liking someone else, look, would I maybe be pissed? Sure, but I'm also just like, I don't know you. I don't have to talk to you ever again. Yeah. So it's kind of one of those like low stakes like things in my eyes. I know people have a lot of strong opinions when it comes to dating, but I guess I always had the view of just like, well, we just don't know each other. We're strangers. Yeah, I feel like if you're all so new to meeting each other, like to have some kind of emotional claim already feels strange. So like, yeah, if I was in that situation, I don't even think I would be mad. I think I'd honestly be relieved just because of my anxiety. Like, don't have to worry about that person. Sure. Okay. But there's people pleasing of it all. I feel like OP's dealing with like people pleasing. Like I think the best way to honestly go about this, if I was in their situation is don't continue to pursue the original person because that's, then you're intentionally leading on two people. I would be honest. And you don't even have to go, listen, I actually really liked you at that one gathering. So I'd like to pursue you now. It's just, no, if you wanted to reach out and be like, hey, like, how are you doing? Build a friendship first. Like, and if that friend only saw that guy a couple times, that seems like she didn't have to volunteer that information. Sounds like she's seeing people, she's dating. She might be open to it. So that's how I would go about it. And if you wanted to be honest with the original person you dated, being like, hey, like, I thought it was great, but like, I'm not feeling it like that. No, who do you like? Yeah. Like go after who you like. It is early. It's the first date. The first date. How old again? Doesn't say. Doesn't say. So it's giving younger, like 20s. It's giving young, sorry, 20s. And so it's like, did you have to make out with the one? If you already knew you liked the other, maybe not. But hey, early on, you can't be sad if the first one doesn't want to see you again though, if you ask out the friend. And just go after who you like. He does say the girl he met up with wants another date, but she said she's going out with a lot of people right now. There you go. And doesn't really know what she wants. I can't imagine she's gonna be like, how dare you? She's telling him. You doing what I'm doing? She's telling him I'm seeing other people. Yeah. I feel like she might be the type that's like, oh yeah, cool. Like that might even have been her saying, yeah, that was fun, but I saw you were kind of into her too. So I'm seeing other people too. Like kind of leaving that open in that sense. It's casual. Oh, what a lovely healthy dating life of people. It's just a bunch of people in a salad. It's giving kosher. It is. It's giving, it's gonna be, it's good, it's kosher. And like, I'm usually like, hey, don't, you know, don't shit where you eat, but like, this is not serious. This was one brief date. Sounds like a double date, very casual group hang setup. Not, you're not going after your ex-girlfriend of two years friend. Like that's not, this is one casual date. There's no emotional stakes. You don't mean much to these people. No. They don't know. I would hope not. Yeah, I'd be a little concerned if they started freaking bringing down the hammer. Like what? Yeah. Some comments. It's not fucked up of you to try, but it will be up to them how they handle it. Depends how strongly the girl you went out with feels about it and whether she'd be cool with her friend giving it a shot with you. Risky, but if she's seeing other people, she might not care. Give it some time though. Someone said, y'all are giving horrible advice. They're both going to drop you when they realize that what you're trying to do. If they have any ounce of loyalty to each other. Someone said, this happened to me. I went on a second date with a guy and he later met my friend. He was attractive, but I wasn't attracted to his personality. He hit it off with my friend and kindly texted me and asked if it was okay if he pursued my friend. He even offered to set me up with one of his friends. I declined his offer. He was nice about it, so I texted my friend and she was interested, so I gave him her number. They went on a couple dates and didn't work out in the long run, but it didn't bother me. Yeah, I feel like this is one where in his position, he's allowed to do what he wants. I agree that it's like, hey, depends on their friendship, their dynamic, what's going on there. That's in their core. You can only control yourself, shoot your shot. I do like that little bit of rules of engagement. Appreciate the date. I know you said you wanted to grab a second, but I actually kind of hit it off with your friend. Would you be cool if I asked her out? It's like you're saying how it's kosher. This will only bother people as much as they want it to. As much as you want your ego to be involved of like, oh, they want them instead of me, like you can either let that bother you or not. Yeah. Right. Update. What? Wow. Whoa. Wow. Finally got one. Shane, I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. I really, really, really, really, really, really, really, wow. I'm shocked. She's gonna throw the poof at me. I feel like you're gonna say just kidding though. I feel like this isn't real until I hear it. Yes, I know I'm just kidding. Can you imagine? I pull out a gun. Okay. I'm sorry. A poof gun. Square gun, square gun. Square gun, square gun. Yeah. Update is three days later. Okay. I took your guys' advice and decided to do it the nice way. I asked the girl I'd gone on a couple dates with, if I could grab her friend's number, since it seemed like me and the girl I originally went out with were looking for different things. She was talking about all the dates with other guys she had lined up. And I liked talking to her friend a lot. She said yes and gave me her friend's number and told me she would be happy to help. Said if I wanted any advice to let her know whenever I needed it. Yeah. These are girls doing it at people's girls. Everybody's happy. Everybody's dating. Everyone will find their person. I love it. I then texted her friend, mentioned how I had enjoyed talking to her and would love to grab a drink sometime. She responded that she felt the exact same and would love to. From there, the texting was kind of dry, which had me confused. So I texted the girl I originally went out with, saying I appreciate her help, but it doesn't seem like her friend was interested. It was then that she revealed that it was her guy friend this whole time whose number she'd given me. They both then said some rather mean things and they seemed to get great joy out of fucking with me. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. Catfish him? Wait, take a bag. Take a bag. So she asked for the friend's number. She said, yeah, I'd be happy to. And if you need help, and then she gave his number to one of her guy friends. Oh, that's so mean. Okay. Diabolical. I responded, fair play, ha ha, that's that. I shot my shot, nothing else I can do, not even mad, just surprised people like this exist, especially in the late 20s. Oh, oh. Edit, I don't want this to be an opportunity for people to virtue signal to themselves that this will happen to them or that people are inherently evil. Always shoot your shot. I would and I will do it again. You can do it and so can I. I wanted to make sure that the vibe on this post isn't too negative, love you guys. This guy's chill. This guy's chill. This guy's chill. Get in the DMs. Him responding, fair play, ha ha, probably pissed them off so bad. They were like, oh. Wait, so they both, the girls didn't wanna. The other girls, they said no. We don't even know. See, oh, I want him to like, he's gotta get in the DMs. Maybe find her Instagram. Yeah, get in the DMs. Can I say, I don't actually think it's good if you're on a date with someone and you're going, hey, I'm seeing other people. But she, like to just give it as a preface, fine. But he was like, yeah, she was talking about all these other dates she has lined up. But then she. On a first date, that's weird. Then she responds with all of this. I'm like, you're insecure. You're insecure as hell. So she's crying. That you can tell. That you can sit there and talk to your date about other people you're seeing, but then you're really upset when they might wanna see someone else and they ask respectfully. Like, if they try to ghost you or they do some slimy stuff and you wanna do all this, sure. But he was respectful. He was just like, hey, like, is it cool? He said, he said, hey, it seems like we're looking for other things. Do you mind if I ask for your friend's number? And then she does this. Just piece of shit. Just weird. I mean, maybe she's been like hurt a bunch of times in all of these dating stories. And so she tries to keep you a little humble when she's dating you and going, yeah, well, I'm dating other people too. So you're not that important to me. So if you hurt me, it's not gonna hurt me that much. But also, what kind of act is that to make this person feel bad by giving a guy friend's number? Like, what are you trying to say? What do you do? They're bullying him in a sense. It just feels like some weird catfish, mean, psychological torture. It's a lot of effort. Just always blown away by people who put so much effort into things like this. They're a hobby. I'm just like, damn, did you have the time? I wish I had that time. Even alone. I'm like, this is a first date. This is a one date. If you really don't like the guy and you feel weird about it, just tell him, oh, she's not interested. Just say that, move on. This is so weird. I definitely think that's what it was. I don't think she's going on a bunch of other dates. I think she's trying to create this like, false sense of demand and she's so hot and blah, blah, blah. Like, no one that actually has a bunch of dates lined up and has other options acts like this. This is mean. Yeah, it's not coinciding. Some comments, for anyone reading this, remember other people putting you down as a reflection of themselves, not you. I pity people who need to put others down to make themselves feel better. It really shows how little they think of themselves, which is quite ironic. Lastly, someone said, was anyone in the previous post ever a woman with friends? I don't understand how they think telling him to go after her friend was a good idea. It's so tacky to go on a double date and then ask the other friend out. What is everyone thinking? And they're still telling him to add slash message her on Instagram. Literal proof, redditors need to go outside. Do I need to go outside? I don't know. That one felt a little, we need to be a little more open-minded to how life happens and how this was a very friendly, like your mind's, there's I think hinge used to do, or bumble, bumble has done those singles events or they encourage that when you're using dating apps, don't just try and go on the one-on-one dates. Make it a group date, make it a group thing safer, it can be more fun, people can mix and mingle. And I think people should be a little bit more open-minded to those things because you should be following your heart and what you want. How things are supposed to be done. Like obviously like don't break the law or whatever, but it's like, you're just, like we're all trying to find love. This is all love, you know? Speed dating exists for a reason. Bumble did the meetups for a reason. Like you can like, literally speed dating, you're in the room and you just go chair to chair to chair and meet how many people? Like, come on, it was one first date and I'm blown away. Yeah. I'm blown away. And there's nothing wrong with saying like these types of situations can hurt. Like it can be like, oh man, that sucks. Yeah, it might be an ego punch. But it's not always a reflection of, oh, you're not good enough. It's like, no, their connection just was different. They're different people. Right, because regardless, this guy now figured out that that one was not for him. Oh, yeah. In more ways than one. And late twenties too. Like, which love doesn't have an expiration date. Like there's no timeline of how you should do things, but like you would think by that point she's a little more level headed and mature. Childish behavior, like how she took that was childish. Yeah. That's so goofy. Yeah, it's just a whole lot. I hope you find love. He's gonna be fine. Green flex. He sounds fine. Yeah, and honestly, I did wanna have him go in the DMs, but like if that girl is friends with this one, maybe you don't even wanna, I never know. Don't wanna bother. Yeah, he doesn't need to. I'd be curious to see what the friend would say about her friend's behavior though. Yeah. Like, hey, I tried to ask you out and just so you know, like she kinda catfished me with one of your guy friends. Like, I'd love to take you out for a drink. I almost wonder, yeah, if it's like, hey, she might, this friendship might be a red flag. Jealousy. Some people, their best friends are their biggest haters. Yup. Ooh. They all were almost so cool to me. You know what I mean? We were pumped. I'm sitting over here, round of applause. We were so pumped. And then the rug swept up from us. It's messy. It is messy. It's messy. Okay, our next story comes from Emma the asshole. Emma the asshole. Emma the asshole. Emma the asshole. Ha ha ha ha. Ha ha ha ha. He's gonna have like some PTSD from that film. No, I'm ready. I almost threw it again. I almost threw it again. I'm ready. I'm gonna catch it next time. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I will catch it. Think fast. I'm sorry. The next time you throw it, I'm gonna catch it with one hand. Ooh. And I'm gonna throw it over this partition. Bet, bet. Just you watch. Okay. Am I the asshole for making my sister's gender reveal cake gray because she wouldn't tell me the gender? Huh? Okay. I need to know more. Cool. Gray. I, a 23 year old man, bake as a hobby. And I'm actually pretty good at it. Like I get paid under the table for weddings and baby showers kind of good. My sister is pregnant and wanted me to make the cake for her gender reveal. Cool, no problem. I asked her to send me the info so I could prep the inside classic pink or blue filling. She says, oh no, I want to be surprised too. Just make it neutral for the reveal and we'll all find out together. Huh? I was like, huh? Huh? So you want a gender reveal cake with no gender revealed. She says she'll have someone email the info to me later. That someone never did. Deadline comes and I still have no gender. So I make the cake, it's gray inside, gray outside, just full on cement vibes. I even added little fondant clouds for effect. It still tasted great, but visually grim as hell. The reveal day comes, they cut into it and my sister looks pissed. Her husband is confused. People start murmuring. Then she pulls me aside like, why would you make it gray? That's so passive aggressive. I calmly reminded her that no one told me the gender. I literally had no data to work with. I told her I wasn't about to guess or go full improv on someone's baby cake. Now my mom says I embarrassed her in front of the family and that I should have tried harder. Tried harder to do what? Summon the gender through vibes? So am I the asshole for making the most neutral reveal cake in history? There's no way. Okay. I'm torn. Okay, here's my thought though. Is they never, nobody contacted him? He could have probably reached out and said, hey nobody's contacted me. That's why I'm torn. Like being like, before the party, been like nobody's letting me know. But she said to make it neutral. That phrasing is, I also think he could have followed up on that and been like, what you're saying makes no sense. What's neutral though? Is it like white? Is it just a tan cake? Like neutral, neutral means neutral. People think denim blue is a neutral. Mav, Mav, all of people call all of neutral these days. What's neutral? Switzerland? Instructions unclear. Yeah. If I was in OP's spot, I'd be like, okay, so my cake has nothing to do with the reveal. You just want a cake that's there. And the reveal is happening in this email that you're mentioning that I want. I think it was more so like, she didn't even want to know. She did not want to be tempted about having that email or that envelope. So it was like, someone will email you. Someone will send you if you need to make the inside blue or pink. They never did. But I fully agree. Like why not just follow up? Like that's so low effort. True. Just follow up. This is your sister's big announcement. It's been a minute since we've had weaponized incompetence. Yeah. She's a little bit of it. I guess like the gray, like I would be just so upset if I was expecting my brother to make me this beautiful cake and he gave me a concrete block. I don't care if it tastes good. I want a cute little cake and you're expecting to cut and then get this thing. Especially if they're like good at making cakes for a living. Yeah, she asked him. That was supposed to be so special. But it is kind of on her. Like, I guess like they both could have followed up like, hey, did someone send you the email? Oh, you never got it? Oh my God, let me follow up with that. But he's baking a whole cake. So he baked a whole cake, but didn't, he put in all the work of baking a whole cake, but didn't put in just the slight effort of just emailing being like, hey, I have a bird. Yeah. He doesn't even say, he didn't even say who was going to contact him. I know. I will also say, like, cause I'm not, I don't, this is very like interesting and messy. But like sometimes cakes, they aren't gonna be made really quick day of, you know? Like they take time. What's the deadline? Like lining up. I agree. There's a lot of ways that the cake maker could have done this better. Like they know what a pretty cake looks like that does not do pink or blue. I know that they potentially have a job that they, they said that they make cakes at a job and then they do their own under the table, right? This is a hobby. He bakes as a hobby. Somebody bakes stuff under the table and gets paid sometimes. So it's not his full-time job. I've seen great British big off though. Those hobby bakers. Yes. Sometimes they're so good. They're so good. They're better than the real thing. I know. It's a lot of lack of communication on his part that I'm a little surprised by like, I'm honestly surprised he made the cake because he was told someone is going to contact you. She said someone is going to contact you and tell you the gender. Nobody contacted him. Why bother making the cake? It would have been better for him to not make it and been like, nobody let me know. That's true. But instead he makes it and then he has this whole surprise that he knows is not gonna make her happy because he knows that they didn't contact him. He almost wanted to embarrass them. Yeah, seems like it. I think I have a lot of, this is one of those where reading about it in this way, it's tough for me to like think about it because for one, we email a lot at our job and like there is a whole language to emails. You know what I mean? Yeah. Like emails are horrible or nice depending on so many things, right? And I'm like, I kind of want to see these emails. I want to see this communication back and forth or the lack thereof. Yeah. But also I'm like, what's your guys history? Like what's your relationship? What's your opinion? So like when it comes to gender reveal parties, I think they can be silly, especially if people don't care about the gender. I know some people do, people do it for different reasons. Some people go over the top with them. It's possible. I think OP maybe is inserting their personal opinions into this cake too. Possible. People calling him passive, people calling them passive aggressive for making the cake gray. Cause gray is deliberate. He said he. Gray is not a normal color. In his own words, no. And he in his own words said it looked like concrete. Yeah, okay. Who wants a concrete cake? He put a lot of work into a concrete, like I'm fascinated to see gray cake. I want to see it too. I want to see this cloudy concrete. I kind of want it. I want a gray cake. Look, the only thing that's going to save this guy at this stage to me, is if the baby later on is they them. It's like, all right. They blocked it. They blocked it. You know, like the child later on is like, hey, I'm non binary. And this OP is going to be like, gas. Yeah. Clocked it. But then they're like, my least favorite color is gray. And he's like, fuck. So close. I will say though, out of all the ways, if you want to do a gender reveal, I like the cake versus starting forest fires. Yes. Yes. Fireworks and stuff. So it's like. Truly. You know, it's like cake destroy Napa Valley. Yeah. Hard to know. It's a pilot crash. I love a cake. Our baby's gender apocalypse. Yeah. Or what if they find out that it's twins and now they're going to have both. Oh. And blue and pink, gray. What are they? Yeah. Depending on the icing, if you have a pink and blue icing, it kind of turns the brownie gray. Yeah. Yeah. The verdict was asshole. Yeah. He was determined to be the asshole. Honestly, does surprise me though. You think so? A little bit. I could have seen like everyone sucks here. I could have seen everyone sucks here a little bit. Look, bad communication just frustrates me. Just in general. Cause like, but he, I think the ball was in his court is why I agree with this. Okay. I'm with it. Comments, you're the one making the cake. If you can't do it because you don't have the relevant information, that's on you. Be pushy or cancel the job. Come on now. At least you could have made the cake white instead of gray. That was passive aggressive. You're the asshole. Someone said, why couldn't you have made it yellow and baby themed or something? It seemed pretty vindictive to make the cake a grim cement vibes for an important event where you'd be serving many more people besides your airheaded sister. I understand you were frustrated, but damn. She's pregnant. That's all anyone is going to remember from that event now, which was kind of you're the asshole. Someone said, yeah, just make a cake with the theme baby. Vanilla, chocolate, yellow, red velvet, green, purple, elephants, giraffes, balloons, toys, building blocks, a baby's face. Literally the possibilities are endless. There was literally no reason to take a passive aggressive jab at your sister on her big day. So what? There was some confusion about whether they wanted the cake to be pink or blue. This is such a massive overreaction to a perceived slight grow up. Lastly, someone said, you're the asshole. I understand the frustration, but you could have told her nobody sent the info over and just made a cute baby shower style cake. It was in fact unnecessarily passive aggressive, especially crappy to do an emotionally fragile pregnant person on their special day. Communication sucked on both sides. Yeah, I'm like, if I followed up. Hiring isn't just about finding someone willing to take the job. 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Sign up for your $1 a month trial at Shopify.com slash setup. And you never got the info and you followed up and you're really frustrated. Not at all. I would still, I'd be like, hey man, just make it like pink, blue, swirl. So that it's like both. And then they cut in, they go, what's the deal? And you go, I didn't get told, but I still made it in theme. Like a cement cake for this event that's important to her is like, it's such a choice. I don't even know how he did it. I mean, if the answer is communication that could have fixed this, like, come on. It's that simple. Also thinking about it, it's probably the most embarrassing for him. You're this cake guy, you make this cake and that's what you make. Yeah, none of those people are gonna hire you. No one's gonna give your hobby business any money. Cake boss was at this gender review. You never know who's casting. Yeah, also the fact that like, it's not like this is something he quick, like appeared out of nowhere. He spent time, hours, hours. And care on this gray cake. Like there was a lot of time for a lot of decisions, you know. I've never baked a cake in my life. Really? I just realized that. I don't think I have either. Oh, are you, oh my God. You two have a little thing to do this. We made pies. We made pies. I made a lot of cookies. Pies are harder. Okay. Just a cake, I don't know. I think it's cause, I don't know, in LA there's so many places where you get great cakes. Oh yeah. I mean, why am I gonna make one? There's like milk bar and stuff, you know. It's like. Susie cakes, coconut flavor. Exactly. No, whenever a cake comes into this office. Yeah. It's over. A cake hates to see us coming. Oh same, me. Ooh, ooh, watch out. Okay, our final story. I fell in love with my married neighbor and then I babysat his kids. Now I'm questioning my feelings. Uh oh. Oh. No. That one made me a little nauseous. No. And I bought the kids boots that were $5 million. Okay, so first of all, I'm new to Reddit. So sorry if there are any mistakes or something. There's no mistakes on Reddit. There's lots of mistakes on Reddit. Yeah. I obviously can't talk about this with any of my friends or my mom, but then I saw a Reddit post on TikTok and I thought this would be a good place to talk about this. I'm also gonna post this in a couple of different places based on what came up when I Googled best reddits to post on for advice. So also sorry if this shows up multiple times. Finally, I know you all are gonna judge me, but at least try to understand my side, thanks. So I'm a 34 year old woman and seven months ago, I had a messy breakup with my long-term boyfriend. So I moved in with my best friend and her husband in a house we are all renting together. It was then that I met my neighbor, who I will call Kay. He helped us move our stuff into the house and I was instantly smitten. We live in the suburbs of a major city, so we both ended up taking the train into work at the same time each day. I knew Kay had a wife and kids very early on. He talked about them often and pictures of them on his lock screen, social media, et cetera. However, it initially started out as a very innocent, silly crush. He is handsome, funny, and sweet. The first time we rode the train, he asked me about my job and seemed genuinely interested in what I was saying, which is something my ex never did and is something we fought over a lot. He is always doing things for his kids, like bringing home treats and stuff for them and staying on the phone with his older daughter, the entire ride to work, because she needed a pep talk before a school presentation. It was just so easy to imagine how lovely and attentive Kay would be with me because he is like that with everyone else. No. Kay has never said or done anything to imply that he has feelings for me yet, but we are genuinely- Yet? Please, no. She didn't emphasize yet, but she wrote it. But we are genuinely friends by now because we talk on the train, which is about a 20 minute ride, almost every weekday. I've never had the trouble of getting attention of men. And with this basis, we have already, I know that we could easily become something more. I also learned shortly after I developed feelings for him that his wife is someone I went to school with. And I was surprised because they are polar opposites. He is funny, she is dry, he is exciting, she is cautious. He is a little dumb, she is very smart intellectually. Looks wise, this feels mean, but yikes. I just don't think that their personalities fit very well together at all. And I can easily see Kay getting stuck in a relationship because he's just so nice. Oh no, no, no. The issue is that yesterday evening, Kay knocked on my door and asked if I could watch his kids for a bit. This was of course no trouble and I said yes right away. He told me that his wife had gotten to a car accident while away on a business trip. And because she is pregnant, he was super worried and had booked the next flight out to go see her. They don't have any family in the state currently. So he asked me to keep an eye on them for a few hours while a family friend drove several hours to watch them at night. Now this is where the issue came in. These kids were an absolute nightmare. There were three girls and the oldest was your typical bratty preteen times a thousand. She was rude and didn't respect my authority at all, arguing with me about everything from dinner to who had to clean up, to what movies she was allowed to watch. I even heard her call me a bitch under her breath a couple of times. The middle was rowdy and constantly wanted to play loud, messy games even when I told her no. The youngest was mostly sweet and quiet on her own, but she joined in whatever drama the middle wanted to create. It culminated in me agreeing to play hide and seek with the younger two and ended up getting locked out of the house. When I went back and tried to convince the oldest to let me in through the back screen door, she pretended she couldn't hear me and put her headphones in. Thankfully, the family friend arrived a few minutes later and let me in and then I went home. This makes me sad because before now I would often dream about being a stepmom to Kay's kids one day because of how highly he would talk about them. Now I want nothing to do with them, but at the same time, this is further proof that Kay and his wife are not happy because children from a happy home do not behave like this. She's never met preteens in her life. Oh my God. I just want to have a relationship with Kay, but I do not know if it is possible because his kids and I would not get along. And this is even before a potential divorce where their mother could easily get them to hate me. I really love Kay and I know that we could have a beautiful relationship if I pursued this, but this has really shaken me. I just wish I had someone to talk to about this, but everyone in my life would judge me. Hey guys, it's me. For good reason. It's me, the Joker. And I'm really in love with Kay. Oh my God. She needs to pull her head out of the overthinking sand. I don't think there's any hope of that. My question is because kids are smart. Did these kids just clock it? You never know. Do you think the kids knew? Do you think this was like a parent trap situation? Like they put on a mattress and pushed it out into the lake. Like that probably not. It's giving just what they're doing. It's giving maybe, okay. God, I have so much to say. Okay, yeah, no shit. This handsome, charming, emotionally available guy is married with kids because that's who he is. This is his life. Has nothing to do with you. He's not for you. He's not going on that train because he chooses you to get on that train. He's there because he has to go to work. He has to go to work? Like she's reading into everything. And oh my God, I can't believe the delusion. That. I wish I could have David Attenborough's voice to just be like, this is a niche level of delusion. He's come across, out in the wild. Like this is an insane level of delusion. You thought this, you typed it and you still hit post. And yeah, that is a glimpse of what being a stepmom would be if you're going to be a home wrecker. Yeah, I mean. Good. I wouldn't doubt that like maybe people have tried to come for K before. Like maybe women be sniffing around and the daughters are sick of it. Maybe that's why they clocked her. But like that's me overthinking as much as she got. This is a special kind of delusion. Like we see delusion a lot on Reddit. This is scary. I think this is scary. It's possessive. This is scary, scary delusion. I think if this was flipped and this was a guy, we'd be like, call cops. Yeah. And I think it's borderline that level. I think she's going to get a baby. When you get this far where you're like, yeah, so when we get married and we have kids, I'm like, this is like stalker talk. It is the way she's like speaking for the wife and all these things like, oh yeah, I knew her. It's really shocking because I know him and they're not the same at all. Like you don't know him. He's just being nice to you. He has his wife and kid on his lock screen according to OP. I'm like, this guy is comfortable. There's a baby on the way. They're really so very intimate. I don't know, I have so many, I have theories on the kids because I'm. I mean. He just goes with the kids. No, so it's okay. At least it's my problem. Sorry. Tell me about the kids, Shane. Well. I'm just thinking, how did it get so bad so quickly? Cause I'm like, if I had to go emergency watch some kids, I'm not going to be trying to like police them or parent them. I'm going to be like, hey, I'm just here to make sure like someone's here. I think she went over there and immediately was trying to become the step mom. And I think that's why this intense reaction. Because it's just like, hey, this stranger's coming over to chill with you. I don't think most kids would freak out this hard. No, that's true. I think she was like, oh, let's play games. Let's do stuff. I want you guys to like me. Trying to call me mom. The worst thing you can do with kids of almost any age, but preteens is to want them to like you. Yeah. And if I was in that situation and I didn't have feelings for Kay, I'd be like, and the kids are being nightmare, but I would pull the card and be like, your mother is in the hospital. She is hurt. Do you want to be acting like a nightmare while your mother is in the hospital? Like, I think that would make them calm down real quick. But she, of course, I'm like, she probably wouldn't want to bring up the mom because she's already deleted the mom from her own memory. Yeah. Like, oof. This is terrifying. It is really scary. And I've seen a little too much true crime stuff lately, but like people have committed murder to get the life they want. And that's what this is starting to get. And I think you're on the money. She must have gone in and done something and like really laid down the hammer because for the one teenager to call her a bitch. Yeah, whoa. Within a couple hours. No, I think you're dead on. She tried to go in and be dead on. That's I think what I mean. It's more theories on her. I'm just like, this is a shocking situation. Yeah. I mean, who knows? Who knows? I mean, it's also very possible that he's all, I mean, I guess he could already be a little wary of her, but he's in a situation. It's a situation where he had no choice but to like, can you watch them? Yeah, if he's choosing to stay on the phone with his daughter, the entire train ride home, which valid if that was legitimate, but also like, it sounds like she's not very aware of how she's being perceived by other people. So he's like, okay, I think her neighbor's a little legendary. While another friend drives hours to come stay with them. So he did not want her to stay with them. He's like, you're here only for a little bit until this family friend comes. It's, yeah. This is like, this is a standout as far as stories we've read here. Yeah. It's scary. No, this is a not at all. There's been a couple that have been really bad and this one's up there. Comments, honestly, it doesn't sound like you love him. You romanticize him and have this fantasy life in your head. Yeah. In your head, you act like he would drop his wife and run away with you. You justify this belief by saying his children are wild, so it must be an unhappy home. Meanwhile, you completely ignore the fact that his wife is pregnant and he dropped everything to go to her. You say the kids do not respect your authority. It sounds like they barely know you and suddenly you're in charge. You're not their mother and will never be their mother. You think you will have a beautiful relationship with Kay if you pursued him? No, you wouldn't. He has a family that he clearly loves. Just because he is nice to you doesn't mean he wants you. I encourage you to discuss things with a professional because this isn't healthy. OP responds. God, oh, God. How do you know whether or not I love him? Are you inside my head? You can love someone before being in a relationship with them. And just like I don't know for sure that he loves me, you don't know that he doesn't. You never know until you cross that bridge. I know he wouldn't just drop everything and run away with me. There would be months and even years of divorce court, custody arrangements, et cetera. If he decided to leave his wife and before the comments come in, yes, I know there's no guarantee that he will do that. But Kay is a good, honest man. If anything were to happen between us, he would absolutely leave his wife because it wouldn't be fair to either of us. And he told me he believes very strongly in fairness. That's why I'm asking. I know this could be a messy situation if anything happened. I just want to know if his kids being difficult will make things worse if it does happen. I want to know if the potential pros outweigh the potential cons. My! This super sweet, honest, fair guy who will definitely leave his wife he promised to be with her. That's not happening. What in the world she's like, if and when is like really what I'm hearing? She's like so gone. If and when we cross that bridge. Ma'am, there is no bridge. No bridge. They're looking across the Grand Canyon. Yeah. There's no bridge. No, it's really like, I hope, I hope a lot of people see these kinds of stories where it's like, where genders can be irrelevant to the dynamics of what's going on of like, hey, you are, this is just because someone happens to be around you a lot, is friendly to you. Is nice. Has that, that is not for you. Like I am a flirtatious person. Am I flirting with you? No, that's not for you. Even if it's, I'm just being nice. It can be taken as, you know what I'm saying? Yeah, he's married and has kids. It's like regardless. Have some awareness of the facts that are laid out. Clearly a bad breakup. I know that was mentioned and like moved in with her friend and friend's husband. And so like the first nice guy she sees, she's like imprinting upon like a little gozzling goose baby. Like there's someone else out there for you and it's not him and you need to talk to somebody. I'm shocked she even posted on Reddit. Cause I'm like, she's not going to listen to anyone. No. I'm fascinated so many times when people ask for advice that I'm like, you don't want advice. She just wanted one person to say go for it. And she's probably going to take that one. Just one. Yeah. No, it's, it's, she's clearly having a lot of conversations with herself about this. You know what I'm saying? Update. Oh God. Oh, okay. There we go. One day later and it is a screenshot of a text exchange. No, no. He saw the Reddit post. I hope. K text turn. Blank and the girls are okay. Thank you for watching the girls. OP responds, of course. Anytime, smiley face. Let me know if there's anything else I can do. K responds, thumbs up emoji. K then shares link to Reddit. Oh. How do you, how do you say a laugh? K says, is this you? Because if it is, we need to talk. I promise you that I have absolutely no interest in leaving my family for you. I'm sorry if I ever gave you the wrong idea, but I don't see you as anything more than a neighbor. I don't think we should be friends anymore. OP responds, wait, can I call you? Oh my God. Wait, no. Let me shoot my shot though. Can I sing for you? Okay. Wait, I think I hit it off with your friend. Can we talk? Wait, okay, so K found the Reddit post and sent it. This Reddit post had to have blown up and she also posted it everywhere. I'm stressed. She sent it on two hot takes. Oh, she posted it on my subreddit. Oh. If there's more updates, you'll have to cover it. Oh yeah. Oh man. I know, I can't go through this twice. So we found this from true off my chest, but she posted this everywhere, including two hot takes. Oh God, thank God I missed it. Wow. Didn't need that stress. Oh my God. Wow, bro. So she said nothing, she just posted the screenshot. Just posted the screenshot. Honestly? Oh my God. Surprise, she posted it. Kind of embarrassing. I'm surprised she posted it too. But again, speaks to the disconnect. Yeah. Yeah, maybe she posted it to be like, look what you did, you guys ruined my chances. It's really tough, like, it's always shocking, you know, these types of stories I often go, oh, this isn't real. But it's a stark reminder sometimes of like people like this exist. This happens. And there are people that are so delusional that they will post about it in such a public manner and not think twice about it. Right, no, I think it happens a lot. And this was a really important thing my therapist told me. It's like, there are feelings and there are facts. And OP was treating her feelings having more weight than the facts, which is this person is married, more kids on the way, a loving home, everything is good. This does not have you in the equation. Well, what's also, and this is I think a reflection of like, we all do this and it's really bad nowadays, you can prove yourself right endlessly. You can convince yourself of anything and prove it to be true by looking at everything that supports that belief without having any doubt in your mind. If all she had to do was take a look and go, what if I'm wrong? But she refused to because she's going, well, here's all these things that prove that I'm right. And yeah, you can do that with anything. I mean, that's how we have people drinking raw milk right now. So, what? What is up with that? And look, it was flat earth a couple of years ago and now they're drinking raw milk. Now they're gonna move on to something else soon. It's just really scary. It is. You honestly though, there are people out there where like, you guys, we could have gone and update that instead was like, case all the post and now we're having an affair. Yeah. I was really, I was honestly really worried. I'm like, I hope he really is a great guy who has loyal to his wife and he is. Did the right thing. But, whew. Oh my goodness, he's messy. That was messy, but mess avoided. Happy ending in my book. Yeah. No other updates? No other updates, I'm sorry. Girl, if you're out there. Yeah, let us know. Let us know, where you at? Maybe she's, maybe that delusion's gone down. Maybe things really ended up better. Hey, and you know, I wanna give her the benefit of the doubt, bad breakup, first nice guy. You really just, we're going through it. Go to therapy, it will be good. You'll find your person. Yes. Fair, she hadn't taken any horrible actions yet. Just bad delusion, posting on Reddit anyways. Morgan, thank you for being here. Thank you for having me. Make sure to check out Tuhatake's incredible show. Thank you. Great stuff. You both have been on. Yes, we have. We have. Separately. It's a great time. We'll have to do a little double sometime. This was great. This was great. Yeah, make sure there's poofs there. So Courtney can throw it on me. No, it's okay, I understand. Yeah, you might be a little liability. Okay, yeah. Ended up the insurance of God there. Yeah, up the rider. Thank you both for being here. These were definitely messy. And thank you all for watching. And I hope none of this mess ever finds you. As always, let us know what other themes and subreddits you want us to cover on this show. And we will see you next Saturday. Goodbye. Bye. Goodbye. It's hard to concentrate when you're worried about your health. It can feel like there's a wall between you and the rest of the world. Like you can't be fully present. Hello, AXA Health. How can I help? At AXA Health Insurance, we build our teams with people who care. So when you need us, we're here to support you. For cover that cares, search AXA Health Insurance. Pre-existing conditions are not covered. We looked at city cars and quietly disagreed with the formula. Quietly, we added more space. Quietly, we upgraded the tech, but kept the price honest. The all-new MG4 EV Urban. From just £239 a month with 0% APR. MG Motor Financial Services, £2,300 deposit over 49 months. £7,223 optional final payment. Offer ends March 20, 2006. Conditions apply. Visit mg.co.uk.