This podcast is brought to you by Hotels.com. Make your next trip work for you. Hotels.com's new Savior Way feature lets you choose between instant savings now or banking rewards for later. It's a flexible reward program that puts you in control with no confusing math or black out dates. Book now at Hotels.com. If your way is available to loyalty members in the US and UK on Hotels with member prices, other terms apply. See site for details. Conan O'Brien needs a fan. Want to talk to Conan? Visit teamcoco.com slash call Conan. Okay, let's get started. Hello Matthew. Welcome to Conan O'Brien needs a fan. Hello Matthew. Thanks for having me. It's nice to be here. Hi Matthew. Conan here and very nice to meet you. Get a Conan. Good to meet you too. Okay, I'm guessing from your accent that you're from Cincinnati. Yeah, dead. Downtown Moscow. So exactly where are you right now in Australia? We're in Brisbane at the moment. I'm con. So lovely, lovely country. I love your people. I've always had a wonderful time there. And I'm excited that you're here. Tell us a little bit about yourself Matthew. What do I need to know about one Matthew D Goldie? Yep. Well, what do you need to know about me? I am a circus clown. I guess we'll start there. Wow. That would be the best place to start. Wow. Very cool. And are you a circus clown in Brisbane? Is that where your circus is? The circus is in Brisbane at the moment, but we travel all over the country. We're in Brisbane. Okay. And are you in it looks like you're in a little compartment right now, maybe even a little in a large steamer trunk? Oh, are you in one of those circus wagons right now? Yeah, basically that's right. So I used to have a big 30 foot caravan behind me and this was my truck that was basically out laundry and a little spare bedroom. But my family have left, they ran away from the circus six months ago. So now I just live in my little truck. It's about a 2.5 by 2.5 meter space. Okay. And I've got everything I need in here and yeah, this is my little home on wheels. Okay. I just want to make sure you said your family left you. Did they leave you, leave you or did they just they'll see, you'll see them again soon. I mean, there's nothing acrimonious here. Yes. Because it sounded dramatic for a second. And you said, I've got everything on my family. Well, your family's gone, dude. Yes. That's true. I've got everything I need except my family. Yeah. No, my daughter wanted to run away from the circus and go to school. She wanted to, she just, oh my god. I want to be a neurologist. I know. You crazy kid. You'll wear a retinose and like it. Yeah. Yeah. There's a million kids around the world. What are you talking about? Well, that's just a weird way. I have so many questions for you, Matthew. First of all, how does one become a circus clown in the first place? How did this happen? My sister was a dancer and she got a job with the circus when I was a kid. And then one day I came home from school and there was a job opening from my parents and I came home from school and my mom said we're selling the house away. We're running away to join the circus. Oh my god. That's what I wished happened when I was a kid and it didn't. Yeah. So then I had to be a freak on my own. Yeah, you worked it out just following. I did my self. I've been watching. What jobs did your parents do in the circus? My mom worked in the canteen. There's always jobs around the circus without performing and my dad would take tickets at the door and seek people and they would cook for the tent hands and the jobs around the place. My sister became a trapeze artist and I became a clown. So tell us a little bit about, first of all, did you know that clown was right for you? Did you think about, oh, I could be a strong man. I could be the bearded lady or did you? Did you know that what drew you to being a clown? I just found myself watching the clowns. I didn't even know I was doing that but that's what I was watching and taking in and watching and taking in and so when it got time to perform, that's what I started doing. And tell us a little bit about your clown character. You have to find who your clown is. What is your clown life? Yes. Which clowns name? Well, the clown's name is Goldie the Clown, which is a ridiculous name for a clown but because my last name is Matthew the Goldie my mum. I said, I want to be buttons or patches or Mr. Stinkypants but she said and but it's worked. You know, it's a good name for a goldfish. Good name for a golden retriever. Yeah. Stupid name for a clown. Yeah. I don't think so. I think it's much better than Mr. Stinkypants. I think that would have. Signing that on a check would have followed you forever. Would have hurt your love life really terribly. Try getting a table at a restaurant. Yeah. The name Stinkypants. Matthew Stinkypants. So that's your name. Tell us a little bit about your persona, your look. That's what we want to know about. It's a happy August clown character. The style is cold. It's on the classic clown. I haven't pushed away from which a lot of clowns have been doing in the last 30 years because of the scary clown movies and all that stuff that's happened. But I've got the hoopy pants, the big shoes, the big red nose, the red wig. I'm sticking with that. You're a clown classic. I'm stuck. I love it. I'm sticking with clown classic and I'm not going to change it. I also think that it's good to get the message out that not all clowns kill. Most do. But not all do. We don't need it. We only have five minutes in this interview. Yeah, and you do look like you're hiding right now from like couldn't prove anything. I have an L by every time. So this is good. You've got, do you do all the makeup and stuff? Yeah, face paint. So that's what I prefer to call. Thank you. Yeah, ladies wear makeup clans with face paint. That's how I just. Oh, all right. What about lady clowns? Yeah. And by the way, I wear makeup not now, but I wear it all the time and I love it. Sorry, I just mean to domestic let you. You just you just clown shamed me. So this is good. This is good. I like this. So you've been working as a clown for many years and then you you find your your wife. You have some kids and you get them into the act too. Is that right? Yeah, my son's a clown with me and and my wife was the ringmaster with the circus. And my daughter performed for a little while, but then she didn't want to do that. That's not her. She's like the Marilyn and our monsters. She wants to be just normal. And by the way, I love that reference. Yeah, I love that reference. You just alienated all of our younger listeners, but yes, yes, you're the normal one. Three generations of your family have worked at the circus. Is that right? No, no, we were the first generation. No, I mean, in the services, many your parents, you and your children, right? Well, that's true. That's right. You are. I hadn't even thought about it. That's right. So he's. He's gone about it. He just said, no, Matt just said exactly what you are. He's like, you're sort of like a clown in Brisbane, Australia and you went, no, no, no, no. Oh, and you put it that way. I don't think much. Yeah. Neppo babies. What is? Circus. No, you're just a clown because your dad was a clown. You're not talented. Yeah. So what is the life cycle of a clown in a year? Are you working? Is there a season to clowning? I mean, I clowned 24-7, 365. But I don't know what you're like the old school, hardcore, real thing. What's it like? Is there a downtime for clowns? Yes, after the show and before like, we do 360 or so shows a year. Oh, wow. I've been doing it now for 35, only 35 years. I was in the theme park for many years. I developed my character there, like street performing, improvising, joking around with people. And that's where you started to shine to me because I was out of the circus. I didn't have any clowns that I was watching. And I started watching this TV show at night and this. And there was another man there that had this five-day week comedy gig. And I had a five-day week comedy gig. And I started getting, because there's so many inspirations in comedy. There's so many different ways to do it. But this talk show host in America started to become my biggest inspiration for my clown. And I didn't understand why until you went on James Lipton. And you did that interview with him. And in that interview, you said, basically, I'm a clown. Yeah. And I went and knew it. I knew it. You know, it's funny because that was something I realized a long time ago. I always wanted my show or whatever I was doing to be funny, even if the sound was off. And so because of my background, people thought, well, it'll be, you know, he'll be like verbally dextrous and it'll be about, you know, his intellect. And I thought, what are you talking about? I love to make kids laugh. To me, that's the best test if someone's funny is, can you make a kid laugh? And I, if two or three-year-olds are around, I work really hard to get them laughing. And if they don't laugh, I'm shattered. Absolutely shattered. And you've seen that son, right? Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm like, I had Mikey, but I didn't get Charlie. What happened? And then I'm drinking and you're like, Conan, take it easy. And I'm taking pills. Oh, my God. I didn't know you were in the movie. Yeah, I'm dissent into that. I know the feeling. Yeah, yeah. He probably just had gas, too. It wasn't. It had nothing to do with you. I took it personally. We had 800 school kids in the show yesterday. They're on vacation care. So the tent was full of just pretty much 800 kids in them and their monitors. And the noise was outrageous. They were laughing and screaming and hooming. It was beautiful. Best drug in the world. Best drug in the world. Best drug in the world. Yeah, it really is. It's so funny what you're talking about because we're all doing basically the same thing. And there are different, you know, you can say, oh, no, I'm doing something very different. No, I think we're both essentially doing the same thing. Exactly. So much from you just from the, and as you say, the physical comedy. So whenever I'm getting a bit tired with my comedy, I think about what you do because you have this way of hitting the mark very strongly. Oh, thank you. I think, no, how would Conan do this? Well, I started hitting my marks a bit stronger physically. Well, that's very, very nice. That's very nice of you. I've been writing things. I've been studying. I've been in the school of Conan for the last day. That's why that's why right now you're trapped in a very small space crowded out by what looks like laundry. Totally. This is what happens. You're hiding from the law right now, surrounded by unwashed clothing. No, but that, that, thank you so much. I've washed my clan clothes. Oh, there you go. All right. It's beautiful. It's gorgeous. Thank you all that I do myself and my clan. It looks like the wardrobe from Golden Girls doesn't. Yeah, Mrs. Rover. So what is this? And this is what you're doing now for life. Do you ever have a day where you think, you know what? Feeling sore. I don't know if I got it anymore. We all have those moments. And do you ever think, maybe I'll hang up the old red nose and I'll do X, Y, or Z? Or does that never, never come into your mind? Yeah, it has. And in COVID, of course, all the work went away. And so I thought, oh, maybe, oh, and I did, I drove a truck for a little while and I did a few different things. But no, this is so. You know, if you get cold-hearted on making people laugh for a living, and making children happy and old ladies and singing to people and bethurning, if you get cold-hearted on that, then I think I'd be dead, wouldn't you? Like, it fills my soul every time. Yeah, I listen. Amen. I agree with you 100%. It's a great dodge. It's a great way to get through life is to try and do this. And there are just moments, you know, I'm sure you have them. I have them where we think, oh, my God. I don't know. I can't keep doing this. I need to go and do something kind of quiet and respectable. That always lasts about half a second. Like you said on that interview. Yeah. Yeah. On that interview, too, you said when something's your job, it's your job. And that's true. There's days when you're like, oh, I've got to do this. But then you start doing it and it's so joyous. And because my clown character is so strong now after 35 years, it kind of takes over. You're suddenly doing and saying things. I can't remember sometimes what my clown says or does. I don't know what I can't do the voice out of the... Now you're excusing crimes, you've committed. Yeah, wait a minute. I mean, it's my clown. I don't know what he did. Why is there this blood on my hands? A clown is not an alibi, just a little kid. I don't know where I was. I was trying to do an Australian accent. And his giant red footprints leading back to your... That sounded perfect. Very good Australian accent. You know what I'm saying? Very hard to do. I'm a fine actor. I can just go in and out of characters. But no, that's really nice. It's funny because for so long, that was every kid's dream, not every kid, but I want to run away to the circus. And I think it still exists. It's just not always literally the circus. You happen to literally do the circus, but I had the same feeling when I got into this stupidness was I'm just running away to do this, do something that sort of speaks to me, you know? But it called you. It didn't kind of call me. I got kind of thrust into it. I joined the circus and then I ended up... Life kind of... You were forwarded about from the... Yeah, your parents said we're going to the circus and we're going to join. And then you had to decide am I bending an iron bar? Am I putting on a dress and growing a beard? Yeah, I don't know. Is the bearded lady still a thing? Or is this modern era maybe? I don't know. They do, they still... I don't think they still do that because now... Yeah, because now... Alex and stuff. Well, we don't use the term free time. Oh, sorry. That's why it's so weird. Personally, why? Yeah. Yeah. And I want to... I don't want to misgender the bearded... You know what I mean? The bearded lady. I know you can't be the bearded lady because he's a man. Yeah, well, first of all, I cannot say what someone's gender is. Oh, right, right. They need to tell me. And I don't know what... First of all, you're saying freaks and now you're saying, you can't be a bearded lady. You're a man. What are you in 1850, sono? What's your problem? The real sonos are right. Yeah. No, it happened all the police. Yeah. Yeah. Hey, how'd you like storming the Capitol? Was that funny? Oh! Sono was there, but she was there for snacks. I had to be there. The election was rigged. And you heard there were snacks inside. And there was Armenian Christmas. Yeah, exactly. How else do you celebrate? Hey, when they certify, isn't there catering? I flew all this way. Yeah. Where's the congressional cafeteria? I want those certification waffles. Let's go, gang! Is there for the food? Yeah. Well, Matt, that's the thing. I'm going to have a meal. I'm going to have a meal. I'm going to have a meal. I'm going to have a meal. I'm going to have a meal. I'm going to have a meal. I'm going to have a meal. I'm going to have a meal. I'm going to have a meal. I'm going to have a meal. 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I'm going to have a meal. I'm going to have a meal. I'm going to have a meal. I'm going to have a meal. I'm going to have a meal. I'm going to have a meal. I'm going to have a meal. I'm going to have a meal. I'm going to have a meal. I'm going to have a meal. I'm going to have a meal. I'm going to have a meal. Supervising producer Aaron Blair, Associate Talent Producer Jennifer Samples, Associate Producer Sean Doherty and Lisa Berm. Engineering by Eduardo Perez, Get three free months of Sirius XM When you sign up at SiriusXM.com slash Conan. Please rate, review, and subscribe to Conan O'Brien Needs a Fan Wherever Fine Podcasts are down.
