No, I'm Shy: Wednesday, January 7th, 2026

Good morning, girlies. It's the toast. It's Jackson, Claudin, where you're lost. It's your favorite show, the fast five things you need to know. We'll start your day off swirly. It's the toast. I sound amazing. Welcome back to the toast and happy hump day, first hump day of the new year. I hope everybody's feeling especially humpy. Get your pillow humping saddles because it's Jackie O. Hey, Jacks, how you doing? Hey, Koji, I'm doing good. We are once again, Sympathico today. You guys, we are not planning this. We're both wearing blue. We're both wearing blue. I told you I keep it cash on Wednesday. I'm wearing this new cute sweater I got. Some people do casual Fridays. I'm casual Wednesday. That's when I need a break in my week from all the formality, all the collars. You are wearing a collar, but okay. It's a collar sweatshirt. It's like a quarter of that. And I feel cozy. You look cozy. You look gorgeous. Thank you so much. I love that we're on the same wavelength of blue. Yeah, Surulean. It's a blue sort of day. You were wearing a sweater handpicked by the people, handpicked for you by the people in this room. I love that for me. Yeah. I feel like this actually is what Meredith, whatever her name was talking about previously, like I'm wearing a blue shirt from Amazon. And at one point this blue was handpicked for me by the people in that room. No, and the fact that we think it's a coincidence that we're just wearing this blue when so many decisions and people went into the fact that we're both wearing this blue today. 1000%. That will go down in history as like one of the greatest reads of all time. That and Portia. I'm... Kenya Moore. No, why can't, why am I having a stroke? Phaedra. Phaedra to Kenya. Right. So you could have a child. So he could get a cook. Like literally, read of the century. There's a couple in the Hall of Fame. Oh, of course. Pretty much I would let Gemma know. That's probably number one. Yeah, definitely Hall of Fame. Hall of Fame. In these parts. Yeah. We could do a whole episode on that. Patreon. About that. Today's Wednesday. We've got great stories. Matthew Coma's putting his foot in the Celebrity Mom Saga officially making it not fun. What are the stories? Just like... Gwen, it's not a podcast. That's always good. Bits and bobs. My like headline news today of like my personal life is that Max is two months old today. Oh my God. Okay, let's take a trip down memory lane. It's funny how you really stop like counting weeks and months when you know after like second baby, third baby, just like count less and less. Are you doing pictures? Like... Oh no, I didn't even do those for Harry. I didn't do them either. I started doing them for Harry like the first month, second month and then I dropped off and it like made me feel really guilty that I didn't do it. And knowing that I would never have done that like for a second, baby, third baby, like why would I do like I'm so... I've forgiven myself. It's a new mom thing. Like if you're going to do it, you're only going to do it with your first, but I'm glad to know you didn't do it either. I didn't do it. I have a couple pictures like month one month two. They do nothing for me. Like they're not like I have better pictures that just like them at the beach. Like the miles. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like to get them to pose on the blanket. Like it's very difficult. It feels very stage mom too. Remember where you put all like the circles that you're going to put around the block to remember where the blanket is on the day. Not for me. Yeah. Okay, I'm glad. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So I was like between weeks. So just like kind of advanced. So today I get to like call it two months. Zach actually reminded me. Right, of course, of course. He's like happy two months. Listen, you're a business owner, you're a mother. Like you can't remember every date. But yeah, two months is major. Major, well, congrats on making it two months. Thank you. That's also like, I used to be like, okay, yeah, the baby's two months. I have breastfed for two months. That's the real milestone. Yes, it is a fabulous milestone. Congrats. And yeah, two months. Huge. It's not the biggest one. Like three months is a really big one. Well, actually two months, they do say technically, like the newborn phase is eight weeks. That's what people say. Oh, I've heard 12 weeks, three months. I thought it was 12 weeks, three months, obviously. But you're only considered a newborn at like the eight weeks. No, but eight weeks is a milestone like in life for baby. But no, newborn stage is three months. Everything is like zero to three. I'm just letting you know what I heard. Also, if it's the fourth trimester, the trimesters are roughly 12 weeks. Simply letting you know what I heard. Simply letting you know the misinformation that you won't want to. You guys, I'm not the only person who says this. I can't wait for the comments. You're like, no, I heard that too. Like I'm telling you, it's like what people say. On this huge platform, all the bump up didn't say it. Like you're no longer a newborn. Should we ask chat? Okay. Let's settle this with chat. Even though if we both put it into chat. How long has a baby considered a newborn for? It'll probably give us different answers. Wow. A baby's considered a newborn from birth until 28 days, four weeks. Okay, okay. Four weeks. So one to three months is often called an infant and then three to 12 is still an infant, but no longer a newborn. So three being the. Pediatricians use four weeks. Okay, that's wrong. Okay, so you didn't understand the question. Yeah, chat is getting so dumb. I'm actually thinking about making the switch. Two. I've heard good things about Grock. Is there a Grock app or do you have to tweet the question? No, that's the thing. I always thought Grock was like a part of Twitter. I'm like, okay, well, I'm not gonna like tweet out my thoughts. It'll be so embarrassing. Like what is one plus three? So then I heard Grock has an extra app, like something separate is what I heard. Okay. Yeah. Try it. What are you doing? I'm hearing like a little echo. Oh, I thought you were messing with my headphones. No, I would never do that to you. I know how important your headphones are to you. Well, yeah, they are. I'm hearing a little echo. I think maybe you're just like having like postpartum paranoia. I just am hearing a vibration on the table. Maybe you're just like, Am I screaming? You're shaking the roof off this place. Am I screaming? No, I mean, if I'm the only one, then ignore me. Maybe I should put my headphones on. Maybe she's experiencing postpartum psychosis. Even though I was, I've heard it starts in two months. Even though I was like feeling my hair doofus. No, you look super cute. Don't put the headphones on. Okay, she said don't put the headphones on. It's actually a crazy thing to like make a major change to your look in the middle of the podcast. Because we look at the monitors before we're comfortable. Even if we don't love it, like we know it. It's familiar to make a big shift, like putting your hair up or taking your hair down in the middle of the podcast. It's just not done. Okay, so I'm not gonna do it. I'm gonna ignore whatever I'm hearing the voices in my head. Listen, just a little schizophrenia, you know? Yeah, but it's there. It's, they're real. It's kind of like the Lord. It's always with you. Like you, Jesus. Yeah, so I have this thing where like, and most of the time I wear my hair down, middle part, like most of my hair in front. And when I try to like describe this Luke, it's not like a style and I call it the Jesus look because this is how Jesus Christ wore his hair. Straight middle part. I have a cow look. And like hair in front. Totally thing separating me from Jesus. He didn't want like behind the ear. Yeah, the only thing separating me from Jesus is I have a cow look and he doesn't. So I'm like, that's what's stopping me from having a perfect middle part. A perfect Jesus look. Right. Where's your cow look? Oh, you don't know about my cow look? In the back? Yeah. So like I would say the first two thirds of my part are dead center straight. And then the back. It goes sideways. Do not look at the back of my part. I don't look at the back of my part. It's none of my business. It goes sideways. The back of your head is none of your business. If God wanted you to see it, he would make a visible to you. The front. Right. He would give me eyes over there. He would give you eyes in the back of your head. What is that from? The back of your head is ridiculous. Like a sketch. Yeah, but like from what show? Like something. Not SNL. Can I have your number? Yeah, what's the matter? It's, It's like mad. Mad TV, mad TV. Yeah, okay, okay. Good job. That was everything to me growing up. Was it? Oh, man, that sketch. You were watching mad TV. No, I was watching that sketch on YouTube. That's so funny as a young child. Not me like quoting mad TV. I've never seen that show. And also like Key and Peel. I've never seen that either. But people are really like, Aaron. Jake Quellen. Yeah, you are that skit. Aaron. Like you read things phonetically. Like you read things phonetically so that, yeah, like toast. Welcome to the toast. Hey, Aaron. Yeah, there's a Key and Peel sketch. Ben was like very. But I'm Jake Quellen. You're Jake Quellen. I'm Claudia. Claudia. I can't really fuck that up. You could. No, I'm saying as a fucker upper. Yeah. Claudia is pretty straightforward. Aaron. I love that. Yeah. Whitney Leavitt. Whitney Leavitt, correct. Taylor different. Yeah. This is such a phonetic show. It is. It's hooked on phonics. Why are you looking at me like that? I don't know. You are looking at me weird, right? I'm not. I just like have a lot going on. I put on headphones. Yeah. Is everything okay? Hi. Are we still stable? It's giving the integrated interface today. Like you're being weird. I'm not. But it had my headphones left without like, I just, you know, I don't like to talk about the show so much. Like. I actually agree with that. It's not like my favorite thing. You look gorgeous. That's why I was just trying to like wing it. I feel blind. It was crazy for you to put the headphones on in the middle of the show. I feel like a blind person. Okay. Should we turn the monitor on and like. Just to take a look. Even though I don't really care about like my looks on the show right now, because if I did, I would be. We can't be in a place. I'd be very unhappy. Right. We can't be in a place where we're going. Don't have like a big hair sticking out of your head. Alphalpha is such a good reference. Agreed. What is that little rascals? Yeah. Okay. Adorable. Yeah. Anybody who's ever had like one hair out of place is an alphalpha. Alphalpha energy this year. Alphalpha eight with that. Cause one thing about alphalpha, he didn't give a fuck. And he was not a shallow person or else he would have slicked his fucking hair back. Yeah. You know? But I think like the sprout was the look. I also think the sprout was symbolic. Like a metaphorical sprout. Cause he was constantly blooming where he was planted. He was a leader. Yeah. A leader in his community. A role model for young men today. And those rascals needed leadership. That movie's really good. Little rascals. It is. I get a confused with little giants which Olivia's family is obsessed with. I don't think I've seen that one. You have the annexation of Puerto Rico. Oh, the annexation of Puerto Rico. Yeah. Yeah. Always a sleigh. Constantly. What do you think about the annexation of Puerto Rico? You mean in terms of your political, your geopolitical ideologies. I feel like whatever situation we have now like seems to be working for everyone. And when you say the annexation of Puerto Rico, what does that mean? Like they're on their own. They're no longer with us. No, no, no. We would annex them completely. They would be a state. Oh, no. I don't think that's necessary. And I don't think they want that either. Do they pay taxes? No. That's why the Paul brothers live there. So what do, what does the US gain from their partnership? I know what. US citizens can travel to that beautiful place without a passport. That's definitely huge. That's major. I think there's, you know, some trade, some trade. And then I actually recently had lunch, not recently, like 10 years ago, had lunch with a native Puerto Rican and she was explaining that like they don't want it either. They're happy with the way that it is. Like it's good. It seems like everybody's happy. Yeah. It's not like something that gets talked about a lot. Yeah. So let's like, let's sleeping dogs. Lie. Viva Puerto Rico, you know, as I'm always saying. So we will not annex Puerto Rico any further. Correct. Than has already been annexed. There is chat about annexing Hawaii. Hawaii is a state. Oh, sorry. Anti-annexing. What's the opposite? Deannex. Deannex. Like, when you just like sort of set them free. There's chatter about that on TikTok. And I think the people of Hawaii are actually down. Like they do not want to be a part anymore. I could understand that. And then when you look at a map, and I only recently learned how random the location of Hawaii is and how like not with us they are. And I, you know, I would be down for that. Like, and I have no stake. If that's what they want, like, I think they're probably good. I would be open to the idea because geographically, it doesn't make a ton of sense. Same, let's talk about Alaska. Yeah, but I just feel like the people in Alaska are very much the elk of Americans. And I feel like the people of Hawaii, like they never really wanted to be with us. And they're, they speak their own language, their own culture. I don't know the backstory, but something about it like does make sense. But Alaska, you know, is geographically closer to Russia. Yeah. But I don't know. The continental US. Somebody talks about the cultural impact of Sarah Palin on like the Alaskan people, because to me Alaska is so American. Like somebody from Alaska was almost vice president. You know what I mean? Oh, I thought you were gonna say, because she put us onto the fact that they're close to Russia when she said she could see Russia from her window. 1000%. That actually was crazy if she could see Russia from her window. But then it wound up being like kind of applicable a couple of years ago when like Russia was in the mix. It's like, wait, part of us. And let's go to Sarah's house to see what's happening. Part of us, the US is very close to Russia. And at risk of Russian retaliation. Right. And then I feel like I wasn't old enough to really understand at the time how crazy it was that Bristol Palin got pregnant during that time. Yeah. That was shocking. That was a cultural shift. It was. And I didn't really understand it. I still don't, but. What's to understand? Like how crazy it was. She got pregnant. But like at the time when her mom was running for vice president, is that right? I think. And I feel like it was an episode of Veep. Like when they all found out, like they were probably freaking. Yeah. So that's your geopolitical segment for the day. I can't wait to read all the comments, hate comments coming from Hawaii. Hawaii is like a very touchy subject. Okay. Yeah. At least it is on TikTok. I could understand. I could see why. And I don't know enough about it to touch on it in the touchiness. All I know is that I stand with the people of and don't call it Hawaii. Hawaii. Hawaii. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. Well, I support. I support. I also support you. I support us. I support the past five. And that's my segue for today. You want to get into the stories. Yeah. Okay. Let's get into. You know. No, I do. I just like know how much love there is for the pre-fast five banter. And as a people pleaser, I just like want to give the people what they want. Let's keep going. But when I reflect on what more I have to give to the pre-fast five banter, nothing like really comes to mind. I personally had shifted because I was running on empty. Like talking about Bristol Bayland. Okay. So if you do want to continue it, you are just going to have to like tell me what you want to talk about. I'm going to put it on my own. No, no, no. I'll be there for you. But you are going to have to like provide the topics. For sure. Now it's just like a lot of pressure that like, what I have to say is more interesting than the fast five. But you know what? I feel like as always, the fast five are a conduit to more banter. A gateway. And if there's anything that comes up, I will feel free to use my voice and my platform and make mention of it. And I know you're always feeling shy. So don't like just. You're shy. You guys. No, no. I recently discovered. That's it. That's all I'm going to say. That Claudia is shy. Okay, sure. Fine. You know what? I don't even the one who's worn my shyness on my sleeve. Like I'm shy. And I mean that. Like I am shy. I recently learned about my sister that she is shy. Okay. Yeah, I'm shy. Jackie wants to throw me into like the most craziest social situation. And then I was like, I kind of don't want to. And she was like, you're shy. Like, okay, sure. What happened? I'm shy. Sure. I don't want to get into it. Because I'm sure. You know what? I'm shy, everyone. Claudia is shy. You got me. I'm a big shy girl. I never would have thought. Just call me shy. That I am less shy than you. Yeah. Yeah, you guys. I'm shy. Like after all these years, how you don't know that about me is insane. You, so you agree? Yeah. You're really shy. I'm shy. Okay. I'm shy. Hi, I'm shy. What's your name? Less shy. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Less shy. I'm still shy, but less than I am. Yeah, I'm so shy. I mean. My whole life I've described you. I'm like, my sister Claudia, she's so out going. And moisture is like, life is a perfect thing. And all of this because Jackie like was encouraging me to like do something so insane. And by the way, I did it. We can't get into the details. We can't. But we can get into the fast five stories that you need to know. Today's episode of The Toast is brought to you by Nannit. What a perfect sponsor to celebrate my milestone today. Nannit is one of my favorite baby products of all time. It is the goaded baby camera. Their newest product drop was almost as insane as the LaBoubou craze. If you're building your baby registry right now, stop what you're doing and add the Nannit Smart Baby Monitor to your list. So Nannit is revolutionizing parenthood. 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It is just a great product for your pup and they deserve the world, they deserve the best and they deserve tasty meals. First story, a little update in the mom drama. Mom talk 2.0. This is like mom talk for people on reels. This is mom talk for celebrities. That's what I said yesterday. No, but like the content, it's like for people on reels. It's not on TikTok. I feel like I'm missing stuff on TikTok. Sammy Ryan like posted a TikTok. Who's that? She's the member of the mom group with tattoos. Oh, what did she say? And she was like lip syncing to Meg the stallion like, fuck you. Hiping herself up. You're the worst. I hate you. Love that. Just kidding. But it was like a Meg the stallion and the lyric that was like clapping back perhaps. I don't know. Now Matthew Koma is responding to actually Tisdale's toxic mom group essay with a clap back of his own. He posted. For those who don't know Matthew Koma is Hilary Duff's husband. Hilary Duff's husband, he's like a music wonder. Oh, I should like. He's always in the news for things that he says. He's very opinionated. Yeah, I feel like we're always talking about him not like as regards to his work, but just he's always like starting stuff. He loves to be snappy. He uses social media. I feel like a lot of the times where Hilary can't speak or won't speak, she speaks through him. Cause I have to imagine what he posted was sanctioned by Hill. Well, I don't think she could stop him, but like. I do. No, I don't think so. Like you can't stop Matthew Koma. He really pops off often. Yeah. And here he goes again. He posted a picture of himself and like Photoshopped a fake headline on top that like looked like the cut article and say, when you're the most self obsessed tone deaf person on earth, other moms tend to shift focus to their actual toddlers. So it seems as though he's calling Ashley Tisdale the most self obsessed tone deaf person on earth. And other moms. And that's why. Started leaving her out because they were focusing their shift to their actual toddlers. Now this kind of feels like what we said yesterday. Like they just weren't vibing with her and they decided to move on. And so up until this point, I was very much like team the other women, but something about like your husband stepping in, like this is very much like a women's issue. I kind of get the ick like I appreciate because we didn't need to know. We really did. I appreciate the clarity and Camp Tisdale seems to be backtracking and saying this is about another mom group that Ashley's in, not the celebrity mom group, even though she literally doesn't follow half of them on Instagram now. They were like best friends forever. They all went to Ohio. I learned more about the situation after the episode yesterday, looking at like who the people are. Uh huh. And the girls who like I would think would be like the mean ones in this situation. There was like one girl I'm like, oh, it's totally true. She doesn't follow them. So like obviously there's bad blood. Now her policies are trying to say, no, it's a different group. Wait, so she has bad blood with two groups. That's weird. Right. And Matthew Koma is bringing it back to say, no, no, no, this is the Hillary Duff group. And it's very much Duff V. Tisdale. The Tisdale response is so strange because it's clear like all she wanted was attention about this story. She wrote about it not once, but twice. Posted about it like multiple times. And she got the attention that she wanted. Now we're all looking into what she's saying. And the results aren't what I think she had hoped because I don't think most people are on her side. So now she's backtracking. It's a very weird pick me behavior. And I'm getting the vibe that like as we predicted, she definitely seems insufferable. That's what Matthew Koma is kind of saying to us. But it already like feel like so much like a fair fight because it's like all the girls against one. And now like her husband's getting involved. It feels like housewives. Like when the husband gets involved and like nobody else's husband involved, it gives me the ick. I don't know. I'm not like loving. Matthew Koma responded and like confirmed like yes, this is about this group and they left her because she sucks. But I don't know when a boy gets involved. It's like, what are you doing here? I agree. Like pick on someone your own size. Like men and women sports. I agree. This is a man and women sports. It's true. Like it's just not for you. And I feel like the second he got involved, at first I thought I was like, oh, juicy. And then the more I sat with it, I'm like, I'm no longer having fun. Yeah, I appreciated the initial juice. And you know what? I just, this came from Hillary. Like I don't agree with you that like anything he posts is not sanctioned by her. Like she's so famous. So she was okay with him. I don't think she like wrote it herself. I think Matthew. No, no, he was like babe, I'm gonna post this and she was like sure, whatever. I literally don't think she cares. And I just wish like if they were gonna respond, like one of the women respond. It would have gotten just. Well, Tammy Ryan seems to have. Yeah, but in a very thinly veiled way. Like a lot, you could say like, oh, I just like this song. Just like we were talking about Breanna Chicken Fry. Right. You can master my. This is a very clear, it's a cut. It's clearly about. And so I just wish someone else had posted it. That's like the only thing up until this point I was like writing for the other girls. But you feel like devil's advocate for math, coma's advocate here. Like if someone is trashing your wife, don't you feel like it could be a husband's responsibility to step in and like defend your wife? I do. Except if someone was like writing articles about you and how you were their feeling. Yeah. I would love to see Ben step up and call them the most insufferable person on earth. I would respect that. Okay, that's actually true. Yeah. And I actually think that's a great example because like Hillary's super famous and like Matthew's famous, but like less, very similar to Ben and I. So the dynamics do apply. No, sometimes you make a rep like analogies and they do, this is a perfect analogy. I am Hillary Duff. But the podcast is facing. Like a former friend of yours who's a, whoa. And now she's crying on a press short cry. What I did. About her feelings. Yeah. And like. No, Ben has to get in there and check that bag. Like you're too big and too famous. And like you're not going to respond to this. It's beneath me. Sad little person. But it's not beneath my less famous husband. Yeah. And like men should stick up for their wives. No, you know what? You're a hundred percent right. Something about like men getting involved in women fighting. The housewives fan in me. Well, the thing is you can't apply it to housewives. Actually, that's really great that you bring that up because the housewives are like have a set of rules that they abide by. And it's no husbands. Because if the husband's took up their wives every time someone called them, I mean name. It would be the househusbands. The househusband. No, they follow a strict code of conduct. In order to keep the show, the show, husbands can't get involved. Even though you want to support your life, you can't. You're right. So it's not about housewives. Okay. Real people's wives. Okay, so the ick factor is subsided. And I'm glad that we were right. Like what he said is what we said yesterday. Sometimes a friendship doesn't serve you because you find someone annoying. You find them stupid. You find them whatever. And it's clear that they found her self-centered. Very sharp pay of her. So sharp pay coded. So sharp pay coded. So that's the latest on the drums. Yeah. Check back in tomorrow. Yeah, it's kind of an ever-evolving story. Yeah, there's so many players. So many social media accounts to post from. Well, now there's also Haley Duff. So Haley Duff is obviously Hillary's less famous sister. She liked Ashley Tisdale's post promoting her article on the cut. We know and we've known for years that Hillary and Haley are not on speaking terms. People are led to believe that it has to do with them having different politics, which would be so crazy. That's never been confirmed, by the way. But this would be like the second allegation of Hillary falling out over politics. Right, so it's is Haley and Ashley Maga. But Ashley literally said, I'm a registered Democrat. This has nothing to do with politics. Yeah, and if it was politics, Matthew Koma called her most self-obsessed, tone deaf person on Earth. He would have said like bigoted, like, you know? Yeah, that doesn't read political. No, you're right. But Haley's involvement is curious. Yeah, she's obviously anti-Hillary. And I want to say something. Like, I could be beefing with my sister, like not on speaking terms for 10 years. You will never find me citing like publicly with someone who's beefing with my sister. Like, yeah, I hate you. I'll never talk to you again, but you're still my sister. Yeah. So this is like a major loser check in the column for Haley Duff. There were already a couple of checks in that column because like, you know, I don't like this. I don't like this stuff on Haley's part. I agree. I don't know what happened. Even like family who's not on speaking terms, there is a lie. Like, you're still family. I agree. So publicly taking Ashley to the still side, like, I don't like that. And she knew what she was doing when she liked it. Of course. Because people are, especially like internet sleuths, people are obsessed with the rift between Haley and Hillary Duff. Look who you not be. I didn't even know that there was a rift, but that's really surprising and saddening. It's very sad. Yeah. Are you ready for our next story? Gwyneth Paltrow says she was fired from a movie after her decision to consciously uncouple from her husband, Chris Martin. So Gwyneth Paltrow went on Good Hang with Amy Poehler. And I want to say I'm kind of like doing a 180 on Amy Poehler. I was just like a hater of her podcast, because like, you know, we're over here doing this for 10 years. She comes in and gets nominated for a Golden Globe in less than a year. But you know what? Like the cream rises in podcasting. And everything I see from her podcast is fucking funny. Like she's obviously, I know she's funny. She's Amy Poehler. But she's a really good podcaster. She gets great guests. And she does with the guests. Like what you want. A lot of people get amazing guests. And it's like, girl, move over. Let me do it. But Amy Poehler, like she's kind of a delight. And I'm revoking my hater card. And I don't ever hate her. I was just like not happy for her success. But you know what? Now I am. And then she had Gwyneth. And any opportunity to make Gwyneth Paltrow like be less misunderstood, I'm a big fan of because you know I started that committee like 10 years ago. Yes. So Gwyneth Paltrow says her decision to consciously uncouple from her husband, bled into her professional life. On the podcast, she said, I was supposed to do a movie at one point. And it was like right after the conscious uncoupling thing with Chris. There was a lot of harsh stuff in the press. I think the distributor was like, this might be too hot to touch. She then added, so that was great because I was getting a divorce. And then I got fired off. So it was so awesome. Did she say that she got fired because she was going through her divorce or because she was getting so much backlash like from the conscious uncoupling thing? Backlash from conscious uncoupling. That's really lame of the movie. And I wish she had said who it was. I would love to know what movie it was. She's really good about naming names. She often goes on podcasts and tells stories using names. So I wonder why she didn't. Yeah. Conscious uncoupling was another cultural moment that I do feel like sort of missed me. And now when I think about it in hindsight, of course, that's a crazy way to announce your divorce. But I understand the sentiment. And in recent years, she has gone back and explained fully. She doesn't backtrack. She's like, no, I said what? I said, you guys just didn't understand it. And when she explains it, it's like, oh, yeah. That's really nice. It's just two people getting divorced who don't hate each other, who are going to make a really conscious effort to remain a family unit. And they've done it successfully. They co-parent really well. She was ahead of her time. She said that on Shark Tank, actually. Her thing is that she's ahead of her time. She gets made fun of a lot. She was doing gluten-free, grain-free, actually. No, sorry, gluten-free like 10 years ago. And she was like, woo-woo, crazy, Gwyneth. Now you can't walk into a restaurant without them having like a gluten-free menu. Now she's onto grain-free. And it's still not super. And it will be the thing. And one of the Shark Tank companies was like a grain-free. So she's very on the cusp of a lot of wellness things, a lot of trends. And conscious uncoupling, she was just ahead of her time. Mature queen. You know what it reminds me of? Like the sort of fanfare that it had was like entanglement with the smell. Yes, that's a great comparison. Right? Yeah. And but I just haven't gotten to like the understanding phase of entanglement. Well, it's just like. Because like you had an affair, but I guess the way she sees it is like she just got entangled in something. She's got it caught up. Honestly, I feel that. Yeah. It almost like wasn't her fault. She was tangled. Right. What would you do if you just got tangled up? So anyways, per usual justice for Gwyneth. Per usual justice for Gwyneth. And Gwyneth is like very goes on choice podcasts. And I think it's like a great PR strategy for her because she's slowly becoming much less misunderstood. I think for a while it was like she's out of touch. She's adiata. But every time she sits down on a podcast, there's like ice chips sort of for people who don't get her, which is not us, get chipped away. And this was a good one. Like there were a lot of clips that went viral and a lot of funny moments. She should do more podcasts. I know she has one. Yeah. And she does. But it's not about her. It's like she interviews other people. Yeah. But she's definitely long form. Like you need to give her space. She can't be put in a box. Yeah. She's not like one sentence is going to sum it up. No. No, she's not. There's so much nuance. Yeah. Are you ready for our next story? Mm-hmm. XNFL Pro Matt Khalil sues his ex-wife Haley for saying his penis size ended their marriage. So Matt Khalil was formally married to influencer Haley Bailey. Yeah, do you know her? I do know her. She's TikTok. Yeah. But she's like a huge now. And she's one of the biggest TikTokers. And she's on reals. Yeah, of course. I've seen a bunch of stuff from her. All the big creators are. It's a place to be. 100%. And she made viral comments about his penis size. She claimed that his large penis size was the biggest factor in their 2022 divorce during the period. Yeah, she went on a Twitch stream. On Twitch in November. So a lot of people don't know. She has a weird backstory. I didn't realize. I knew she was talking about someone's penis size. Yeah. I actually just assumed it was negative. Right, OK. So her back. And I didn't know she was formally married to an NFL player. But please tell us. She started blowing up on TikTok, doing funny content. It's like, oh, she's funny and pretty. Like, it was crazy. She's a former model. I don't think she had a ton of success as a model. And that's why she turned to social media. She talked a lot about how it was just like the worst industry ever. She loves that she doesn't have to model anymore. And part of her backstory, like as a model, she was married to an NFL player. Her name is Haley Khalil. People don't realize that's not her born name. That was her husband's married name. And nobody really cared so much about why they got divorced. It's not something that people wonder about her. But she did a Twitch stream. And we're just always learning more about her backstory. It's so strange. And she said, part of the reason that they got divorced was because they literally could not be intimate. He had the biggest penis ever. She was like, we tried everything. She wasn't saying it in a salacious way, in a mean way. It was obviously like complimentary. But she was like, at a certain point, like we couldn't be married anymore because we could not have sex. Like, it was just really crazy. I know. It went so viral because like, it's literally a storyline in Sex and the City. Like, things like this don't happen, where Samantha couldn't be that guy because he was just too big. Honestly, you know, I don't know who could be mad. But he's suing her. So that's crazy. So he's suing her for invasion of privacy as well as unjust enrichment TMZ reports claiming she's benefited financially and received a surge in traffic as a result of the comments. He is suing for damages with the amount exceeding over $75,000. According to a statement to Page Six, Haley Bailey said, the lawsuit is a shock. She said, the truth is in the original live stream, which is still live on Marlin's YouTube account, I speak highly of him in multiple ways throughout that conversation. I'm genuinely shocked and incredibly heard upon receiving the news of this filing. Litigation is a harrowing and emotionally draining experience. And I'm heartbroken that he is choosing to subject us and our families to this ordeal. Yeah, I mean, I could see him being upset about it, being an invasion of privacy, even though net net it's a positive for him. This does feel like sort of just a money grab. I don't know how much money he's making in the NFL. I had never heard of him before this. So maybe it has something to do with that because she's definitely raking it in. She's one of the biggest TikTokers in the world. Yeah. And she actually posted a video. I had sent it to you. What was it? About how she just broke up with her boyfriend. And she was like, hear all the things my ex-boyfriend did to me. She was dating him for a year and a half. She won't say his name. It's so annoying. I won't say it, but obviously people know who it is. People do know. You said he was in her content. Yes. And it turns out he was just like, no. Turns out he was just a grifter using her for likes, comments, subscribers. He was seeing multiple women. Couch potato. Couch potato. Unimplicated. Worst boyfriend ever. And she made this video being like, hear all the things that like, you know. My boyfriend did that chip in red flags. Right. But you wouldn't believe. And when I tell you, you could not waterboard this information out of me. Like the fact that she's telling, she has maybe like $15 million, telling 15 million people that she stayed with a man for a year and a half who didn't know her middle name halfway through their relationship, who on multiple occasions she had found was like texting, seeing other women. Some of the stuff she was saying, it was so shocking. And it was like, I know it's supposed to reflect poorly on him. But I'm not going to lie. I'm like, and you stayed with him for another year. Like, I can't remember some of the stuff, but I remember sending it to you being like, the way I would never tell anyone this. Like I would take this information to my grave. Yeah. I could find it and play for you guys, but I'm not the mood. Yeah. No, the person at Mill Accountability was not in the room at that very moment. No, it was not. You know, the things you do for love, Koji. So true. I would do anything for you. Yeah, this is like, this is extreme. I guess he just like wants her to stop talking about him. OK, that's fair. And he could have just sent a text. Maybe he did. Especially if they like ended amicably as she was like saying and everything's good. But now she certainly will stop talking about him. Yeah, it had seemed up until this point, like they actually had a really nice, quick marriage and a nice, quick divorce. And when they got married, like they were both famous. She wasn't famous until TikTok. You know what this reminds me of? Like Brooks Nader and her ex-husband. Like, how were you guys married? Yeah, I was engaged to Naomi Olinda. I'm obsessed. And it's like, when did that happen? How come we didn't see any of that part? Which part? Just like Brooks didn't. Well, she wasn't famous. I know, but it's just crazy. Oh, and no, I'm sorry. She was famous. She was sports illustrated. She was famous during the, you know, a great part of her marriage. And Billy. Billy, we should have known they would end up divorced because you would never know she was married. I don't even know if she wore her ring. She never posted a picture of him. I found out she was married, like, through a friend of mine. They were like, you know, she has a husband. I'm like, wait, what? Like, not that she was embarrassed of him, but like she was not taking him to events. Maybe he didn't want to go on the carpet or he wanted to be private or she was ashamed of him. I don't know. The two people, the second she got a little bit famous, I don't think she wanted anyone to know she was married. Or it was like such a bad marriage. I don't know. I don't know. We don't know anything. I don't think it was so bad. I think it was just like, at the time that they got married, they were like mostly right for each other. And then just like completely in different directions. And maybe like the lifestyle that he has with Naomi now is like more his speed. And I really do ship. Me too. And I feel like Brooks would even ship. It seems like everything was amicable. Like her dad still likes him and talks to him. You know, Brooks went on Watch What Happens Live with? Eric Jane. And it was like the best episode of Watch What Happens Live in history. Like they haven't had a night. Like that was vintage. You know, they were both like cursing and it was just like amazing. They were like obsessed with one another. I don't think they had ever met before. And I think Andy asked about it. Like she doesn't know the Bravo lore, but Andy was like, would you ever go out with Craig? And she was like, who's that? Let me just say a ship. Like. Ship. Yeah, is that cute? Like they could swap. I love him. She was like, I have no idea who that is, but Brooks, like you need to. I love the idea of a wife swap. Yeah. I think it makes so much sense. Cause if A equals B. Yes. And C equals D, then A equals D. Shania Twain. Yeah. Just think about it. Today's episode of The Toast is brought to you by Haya. Haya are vitamins for kids that kids enjoy eating and they gamify them. They make them so fun for the kids to eat. They like can't wait till Haya o'clock when they can have their vitamins. And that is great for parents that you can make sure that your kids are getting their vitamins. No matter what like their diets are, that some kids don't want to eat their fruits and vegetables and you can supplement with Haya and make it really easy and fun for kids. 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So some of the best features in the app, you get to customize your spot, you can get zone deals. It's an easy way to find and buy concert tickets. I also like using it to find what's going on in my area for like discoverability and I love concerts and I love sports too. This is a sports podcast and I love going to sporting events and I don't love buying tickets all the time because it's not always the easiest but with the Game Time app, it's like, oh, should we go? Check out a live event this weekend? Let's go to Game Time. So the Game Time app is the best. It takes the guesswork out of buying concert tickets, download the Game Time app, create an account and use code TOAST for $20 off your first purchase. Terms apply. Again, create an account and redeem code TOAST, T-O-A-S-T for $20 off. Swipe, tap, ticket, go, download the Game Time app, guaranteed today. Are you ready for our fourth story? Am I ready for our fourth story? Yes, so where do Kyle Richards and Mauricio Umanski stand if they're a touchy appearance at a New Year's Eve party? So Mauricio and Kyle were spotted getting chummy, touchy and warm at a New Year's Eve celebration, sparking reconciliation rumors. That would be so crazy. When I heard that, I was like, honestly? I would be shocked because- So much has happened. So much has happened. And you know what? I wound up weirdly watching a season one episode of Real Housewives of Beverly Hills. And I know hindsight is 2020, but the writing was on the wall. Okay, so not, we have definitely romanticized Kyle and Mauricio. A lot of people forget those first couple of seasons. There were a lot of cheating allegations. She had someone, they were going to a party, it was a season one white party. She had her assistant or someone was doing her hair. And the way Mauricio was looking at the girl in the room, I was like, that would go viral now. Yes, yes. It didn't even register at the time. It kind of did though. People did not ship them. They're like a holy grail, Housewives Royalty couple now. But a lot of people have amnesia. Also a lot of people are new to the fandom. That they forget the magazines. Remember when Lisa Vanderpump made Brandi bring those magazines to Mexico? It was because they had reports of Mauricio cheating on Kyle. So it wasn't this like perfect, always forever marriage. Now we look at it like that, especially since they got divorced and sometimes when you make it so far, it's like, well, every marriage goes through. No, and also even if he like did cheat at those times, like they worked through it, they got through it and they're still together and like stronger than ever. So like, if she can forgive, I can forgive and like we can move forward. But I'm just saying like even like just small details on the show, now in hindsight, I'm like, oh. I mean, there was a reason my Alison Dubois said your husband will never emotionally fulfill you. And it was so. I'm sorry, I don't care what Mauricio does. I will never concede that that bitch was right. Okay. She might not have been a psychic. She could have just been like reading the room and heard stuff around town. Like, you know what I mean? True. Just context clues, not, you know, her third eye. True. And she had said it and that's why it was such a big deal because like there was sort of like weirdness. Were there, remember where there smoke? Where there smoke, there's fire. They said that in the show and it was like such a big deal. Like their marriage was a storyline for many seasons. I thought when she said that, she was literally, you might as well have been saying like to Adam and Eve. Like. Right. She just like was making things up too. Romeo and Juliet. So what does page six say that they stand now? So the source tells us weekly that they're not getting back together or rekindling their romance. The insider added that there's still so much love between them and that they're in a really good place right now after announcing their split. Well, that's good. Actually, I could see you like at being at the same party as your ex-husband who you finally like are in good terms with like, why would you be like warm and cuddly? Yeah, I would hope that I'm like a sure separation and divorce. They're even divorced. Whatever. Separated is hard. But then I think like eventually like you would come like after all the hurt and pain and like if you're both happier now, then you can look back, like look at this person and be like feel warm towards them. Yes, that happens a lot. And there are a lot of couples. And then get back together. If Alex Orles parents can be in the same room like anyone can. Yeah. So I'm glad that they're in that stage of warm and fuzzy. Yeah. But I don't think they're getting back together. I would seriously be shocked because they have a completely different lives now. They ended up on like Morgan Wade talk for like a week where I was just seeing lots of videos of her at her concerts and stuff. And you know, her and Kyle kind of walk the same. You know how like everyone talks about Kyle's walk? It's like stout and like cowboy like. Yeah. They kind of have the same walk. Well, she's a cow girl. So I think that's like where that. She's sort of like, it's just so crazy that her name was Morgan Wade and she's a country singer. I mean. Why? Like it's just like one of the odds. I guess. No, it's weird. Okay. It's weird. Are you ready for our fifth and final story? Some biz news. Oh, Emma, you know, I'm obsessed with the story. Warner Brothers Discovery rejects Paramount's latest takeover offer says it's still insufficient compared with the Netflix deal. So the song remains the same. Warner Bros. Discovery has turned down the latest acquisition offered by David Ellison's Paramount Skydance and WBBD's board is continuing to back the company's deal with Netflix. On Wednesday, Warner Brothers officially responded to Paramount's latest $30 per share all cash bid for Warner Brothers Discovery. It's eighth takeover offered to date. Paramount Skydance offer is not more favorable to WBD stockholders than the Netflix merger and continues to be inadequate, they said, because of its insufficient value taking into account price and numerous risks, costs and uncertainties. This is where just like math is so important, right? Because Warner Brothers is a publicly traded company, they legally have to take the best offer for their shareholders. And Paramount has said, and we know the price per share, like their offer is more money, like billions more, like a couple of bill more. So they kind of like have to accept it. And so they're saying that it's not better for our shareholders, well, like someone's lying. Who is it? Yeah, they maintain the Netflix deal is better. They say P.Sky is a company with $14 billion market capitalization attempting an acquisition requiring $94 billion of debt and equity financing nearly seven times its total market capitalization. To affect the transaction, it intends to incur an extraordinary amount of incremental debt, more than $50 billion, through arrangements with multiple financing partners. In contrast, Netflix is a company with a market capitalization of approximately $400 billion. So they're basically saying they can't afford us. They have more money, right. They can't afford us, but they're taking on partners. Like money's money, you know? Money's green. If it is green. Is it red? Oh no. You know I've seen red money. Okay, tell me about that. It's kind of like one of my most famous stories. I'm sure you've heard it. I witnessed a bank robbery on 72nd and third. And I wanna say... Is red money like a term? Well, I was saying like red, like when you're in the red, like in debt. But no, red money. So like when you rob a bank and they give you the money, it's actually like wrapped up in these like sort of how, when you buy a shirt and it has like a security tag, if you try to rip it off, they say ink will come out. I've never seen that, is that true? I've never tried to rip it off. Me neither, I'm not a thief. Yeah. And I'm not a thief. Right, but if you do rob a bank, they give you like a lot of cash. It still has a security thing on it. So if you rip it off, it actually explodes red ink and it like burns a hole in the money. So I'm on 72nd and third. All of a sudden all this money starts pouring onto the street. It's like, it was a windy day, blowing in the street. All the money is red and it has a big hole cut out in the middle. Sort of a security measure that even if you rob a bank, like sorry, but you can't have the money. And then of course like famously the police showed up and they said, did you see the guy? I said, I did. He was wearing a purple lacoste polo, blue jeans, running up Third Avenue. I actually said, because I was watching a lot of Lorna on Earth time, I said running north, because I know Third Avenue goes uptown. Now you probably see them a lot of like where you're at. I know, and it was good, right? Like I had been waiting my whole fucking life for this. I was like, I remembered everything. He was bald, he had a purple, I could like literally, I could pick up out of a lineup to this day. I knew in the moment like how special I was experiencing and I was like, remember everything. And it wanna be one of those classic eyewitnesses with poor memory. Running north up Third Avenue worked alone, which I thought was interesting. Do you think that like your desire to be involved in the case is bias in itself? Of course, but they didn't care. They were like, do you think you could identify him? And I was like, what do I look stupid? Of course I could, it was three seconds ago. You're actually such an unreliable witness because you wanted so bad. I know, they didn't know how desperate I was at the time. So they were like, get in the car, come, we're gonna drive and find him. And I was like, obviously Ben, like hold my purse. And Ben was like, you can't go. And I was like, I can't. He was like, no, are you crazy? I'm like, am I crazy? And they were like, the police were like, ma'am, we don't have time, get your fat ass in the car. And I was like, okay. Reliable witness, they call that. Am I being crazy? Like, am I being crazy? And- Is this a crazy thing to do? And I was like, oh, I guess like it is crazy. Ben's right, like Ben's always right, I thought at the time. I never thought that again. I was like, no, sorry, I can't. And they were like, we're done with you. And they just like got in the car and ran north on Third Avenue. And then like I was walking, continuing to walk, like a block down, two blocks. And we were like, that was so crazy. And I look at Ben, I'm like, you're fucking stupid. Like, why did I listen to you? It's one of my biggest regrets, of course, you guys know. Listening to Ben. And that was actually the last time I ever listened to him. That's not true. You listen to him a lot. Jacques, would you like to substantiate that with some sort of claim? Nothing that I can say here. Oh, okay, listen. So I'm back into a corner. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, by the way, I didn't have to say it. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. That was the last time I listened to Ben. That should be the last time you listened to him. Well, I'm glad for this story because it let you tell your favorite story. And you know what? And that's what we mean when we say that the Fast Five are a gateway drug. You're right though, you did see red money. I didn't know what you were about to say. And we've just learned a lot about how to not rob a bank. Yeah, so if you're gonna rob, a bank is actually not a good choice for a million reasons. Like you're most likely not gonna get away with it, but also the money that you steal. It's not like in the movies. It's not just like loose bills. And it's marked. It's marked, like it can be traced back to you. It's actually not usable. If you take one of those red burned $5 bills to like a bodega, they're gonna like get out of here. Of course, with a hole in it. Right, they're like, no, we only accept like full bills. Right. So just like fun fact of the day, rob a target or something, or get a job. Yeah, don't rob. Yeah, no, don't rob. That's not the lesson I wanna leave you guys with. Robbing is actually bad. I've witnessed so many robberies. Don't rob. I witnessed a robbery between Reed during COVID. It was funny because like it was in the city and like, they just like, they have a high bar for like what to be afraid of. Like nobody moved. No, no, the customers, I think everybody looked at it, like shamed him into leaving. They were like, you're not serious, right? And he had a knife too, like nobody moved. Okay. Yeah. And then also when I got, what was I doing at that CVS? I think maybe I was getting like a flu shot or something. It was like, what was I in a CVS? I don't know, getting your basic needs back. No, but like in the city, like you don't go to CVS. You go to the green read. You lose to. Oh, it just depends on your location. I feel like maybe I was getting like my COVID shot because like I was, I went to this random CVS like where you can get an appointment. It was like the hunger game back then. Yeah, I think I was getting it. Yeah, yeah. And it got robbed. He was like filling up his backpack with snacks and they just didn't care. Yeah, they have like, they just. No, and it's also like, I don't own this store. I'm not gonna put my life out on the line because you want some chips. Like, yeah, I understood them deeply. Yeah. And that's like. It's more of a cultural issue. Why are we robbing? And this, this poor clerk who's like just on his shift wasn't gonna solve it. Yeah. Have you ever stolen anything? I don't think so. And I wouldn't say it here. I feel like you stole my jacket that you wore in two years, like right from my closet. And I hadn't seen it in years. It's a family heirloom. A what? It's a family heirloom. That was given to me. And me. No, actually, just me. I don't ever like, I've been wearing that coat since afterdale. I've been wearing that coat. Like I had that coat in college. Okay. And then. And obviously when you were living in that apartment with Olivia at 777, whatever that building was called, you obviously wore it on like a night out. Cause like I used to, it was my night out jacket. And you just never gave it back. Yeah. No, I remember I wore it on afterdale because it was like very Cheryl Blossom. Okay. So I lent it to you for a costume. It does sound like you had it for a time. And then I had it for a time. Well, I'd like it back. I live in New York and you don't. What do you need a fur coat for? You could just fucking ask. I give you anything you want. It's true. I'd like to accuse me of being a thief. Like. Well, you accuse me of being shy. I have the stuff to back it up. So do I jacket. And I just want to say it is a family coat and my run with it is done. I would be happy. Your reign has ended. I'd be happy to give it to you. Great. I'd be happy to receive it. I'm picking it up. I'm actually coming over for dinner. Great. No need for jacuzzi. You have big plans tonight. What are you doing? I'm having dinner with you on Forge. Tell that. Oh, but who are you going to talk to? Because your dinner made us so shy. No, we are having dinner with you. Cockles. I'm really excited. I'm hungry. I'm having lunch together too if we can stop fighting. We are having lunch together if we can stop fighting. I thought you were going to be like, oh, we are fighting. By the way, tomorrow's big day. Tomorrow's Trader's Day. Like the day we've sort of been waiting for for months. We are watching Traders. And I think if I read correctly that they're releasing the first three episodes. Okay, good. So how are we going to watch it all in one night? I don't know. That's what I was thinking. Maybe we like watch it over the weekend because it comes out Thursday night. And it's like not like all of you have watched it the first night. So maybe like Monday will be Trader's. Okay, I think that's good. Yeah. Don't want to take on too much. I also weirdly watched for some reason the season finale, this Real Housewives of Salt Lake City last night because like Ben wasn't home and like the show that we watched together I couldn't watch. Well, please don't spoil it because. It was really bad, I just want to say. I've heard like so much. I've been off the Salt Lake City train for a while. And you watched this current. Yeah, in Greece, right? Yeah, I'm not there. Oh my God, it was like not good. Okay. Well, I'm. But I was intrigued. Okay, well I'm going to watch it. My new favorite show. That's our show you guys. Sorry if you didn't hear a lot from me today because I was feeling really shy. Thank you guys so much for listening to the Tosamland. I wanted to show you the fast-paced stories you need to remember. I need to be through our chance. I need to do this video. I'm so proud of you guys. I'm so proud of you guys. I'm so proud of you guys. I'm so proud of you guys. I'm so proud of you guys. I'm so proud of you guys. I'm so proud of you guys. Love ya, bye. Leave a message. That's right. I love it. So good.