It's the radio segment that's been getting some bad press on his new Bogo surprise kissing booth for charity where not only do you walk away with a kiss, but Thelma behind the box is also giving out free cold sores with it. Who could pass up that deal? It's laser stories, a segment where we read weird news stories around the globe just like everyone else does except we've got a laser. Those other mouthmasters just don't. This first laser story is out of Utah. Yay! I'm trying to give everyone else a love like we get Florida. I know, it just doesn't hit the same. Utah! A 20 year old man named Connor Hooch was pulled over recently after being clocked at 112 miles per hour in a 70 mile per hour zone while racing another guy on a motorcycle. Wow! Dang! Dude, so the motorcycle doesn't get pulled over but he does? Ah! Dang it! Motorcycle was too fast and got away. He did not and once officers approached the vehicle they realized Connor wasn't alone. He also had his elderly grandmother in the car along with his 62 year old mom. What? Oh my gosh, look at these road rangers. These ladies got a need for speed. Yes, the thrill of street racing with your mom and your grandma. Connor told police quote, I drive like this all the time and arresting me teaches me nothing. Oh, I'm just going to tear up this ticket sir. Yeah, we're just going to say the words out loud. His mother chimed in too and told the cop that her son wasn't racing, he was just speeding and trying to show off. So they should let him go with just a warning because he's a good boy. He should have switched spots with grandma and blamed her. One of those moms that you've never seen before for anything. Spoiler alert, they did not let him go. Connor was charged with reckless driving, exhibition driving and reckless endangerment. As for mom and grandma, they were working on getting bail money because Connor was their ride home. Oh, dang it. I feel like this is the mom and daughter from that mountain burning. That's where I live. Yeah, you remember. Let's go to your next laser story out of Glasgow, Kentucky. 42 year old truck driver James Milby was working in the yard with his wife Tammy when he decided to go to the store to buy a Red Bull. But James didn't tell Tammy his real motivation before he left. He was also planning to buy a scratch off lottery ticket. Don't tell the wife, she'll get so mad. With $30 in his pocket, James bought a $20 ticket and wouldn't you know it, ended up winning over half a million dollars. He better be telling his wife now. Well, the issue with that is he had to go back to Tammy and tell her what happened and normally he doesn't say a word because he always loses. But not this time, so he went home to tell Tammy the good news and her response, she didn't believe him. I mean, I wouldn't eat it. Yeah, I mean like oh yeah, likely story. Yeah, sure, half a million. In fact, Tammy made James drive her back to the store to prove it. Dude, you know what? I would love this because you'd be gloating the whole drive. Like I cannot wait till we get there. There is a fight fight happening in that car on the way to the store. Yeah, I feel like he's thought he's won before me. Yeah. So they drove back and when the store clerk scanned the ticket again, he told Tammy the good news and she thought it was a joke. Oh, she still will not believe it. She did not believe him either. No. Tammy. Take me to another store. It's okay to admit you're wrong in this situation, especially when you're $500,000 richer. In fact, she made James drive to her parents' house and load up Mon-Pon the car and all four of them went back to the store. And again, the clerk told everybody the good news. At this point, there was no need to be skeptical. It was confirmed James really won and the entire family splurged on Hostess products to celebrate. I thought you were going to tell us and then she got a divorce because she still refused to believe he was telling the truth. Nope, just ding-dongs for everybody. Ding-dongs and snowballs all around. Okay. Let's go to your next laser story out of food news. Here's something you probably didn't expect to hear today. Chocolate and cheese could help you live longer. Perfect. Do we have to eat them together? Well, who's hitting 140 this lady? Yeah. This study of more than 3 million Americans found that people who ate more chocolate, cheese, and fermented dairy like yogurt had lower death rates, especially from heart disease. The block of cheese right now. Usually people think that cheese leads to high cholesterol and things. Well, the idea is that these foods help your gut health because yogurt has good bacteria in it and chocolate has compounds that support your heart health. But not all fermented foods made the list. Sourdough bread and miso, for example, were shown to not be as healthy. Oh, you suck. Eating them anyway. And not surprisingly, experts came away with this thought. The most important thing to avoid is sugar. A lot of sweets are loaded with it and aren't great for your long-term health. Which is a little confusing because chocolate tends to come with lots of sugar. Well, the higher the cocoa, the less sugar it'll have. Ah, the worst tasting the chocolate. Yeah. Breakfast chocolate, if it's over 75%, you're good to go, man. Dang. Eat what you want. Get the dark stuff. Punish your children before they leave. Let's go to your final laser story out of the bot world. There's been a lot of talk about AI putting people out of work. But what if that's not unemployment just more days off? Yeah, baby. I don't believe it, Jeff, but I want to. Well, one expert, the CEO of JPMorgan Chase, said in an interview recently, he thinks artificial intelligence could actually reduce the average work week from five days a week down to three and a half. Oh, yeah! That's what they said about like laptops and remote work. And suddenly what it means is you're working 24 hours a day instead of the time that you're actually in the office. And now you have three jobs. Yes, exactly. I trust the CEO of JPMorgan, personally. He seems like a good dude. Yeah, and he knows what it's like to have a 40-50-hour week job. Yeah, honest guy. So maybe you work Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday you go in for half a day on Thursday and then head off for a three and a half day weekend. Let's just send this to our boss and see what he thinks. Yeah, don't send it. Let's just stop showing up. Oh, that's even fun. Yeah. We have to pump the brakes a little. He said it could be 30 years down the road from now. 30? Yeah. Is an AI taking over in like seven years? Yeah. Like fully? The implication would be that you'd still get a similar salary, but you know, obviously that sounds pretty optimistic. See, they're just trying to get everybody on board for AI taking over all this work. They're like, we promise in 30 years it'll be fine, you guys. Yeah. Play AI, take your job right now. It's all cool. If those predictions turn out to be true, that's three and a half days on the clock and three and a half off. Dude, in 30 years I better have no days on the clock. Yeah. Still, that's some work-life balance that I could get behind. Just like this guy. Actually, currently he's behind a construction boot that someone left at the cracker barrel. And he's doing three and a half minutes on and three and a half minutes off. Oh, perfect balance. And that's how Mean Slayser Stories has come to an end for the day. We'll do it again same time on Monday.
