The Twelfth Day After Christmas with Trixie and Katya

Welcome to Ruck-Cuttle with us. A podcast. For all of you creative weirdos out there. I'm Kate and some of you may know me as Mr. Kate. And I'm Joey. Mr. Kate's grounded in reality other half. You may have met us on the internet over the past decade. We have the largest interior design channel on YouTube. Have decorated for thousands of people. Have millions of followers, billions of views, our own furniture line. But life is more than pretty rooms and 15 minute YouTube videos. That's right. We're sitting down for an hour with each other. And more importantly with you, peeling back all the layers of how all of life is really a creative project. Parenting, relationships, all the things that inspire you in your daily lives. We'll laugh. We will cry. We'll learn. And my sister and I will gross Joey out with our Romantic Book Obsession. Listen to Ruck-Cuttle with us every Tuesday on YouTube or wherever you get your podcast. We'll see you on the rug. Oh my God, you had a great episode with Daphne. I got to listen to it. Oh, I haven't. It's great. Kip Next Spine? Yeah. Maybe I grew up to that in Nashville and Louisville. The kids did not care, but they, I cared deeply. You know what I mean? The episode made me realize we should, when we have guests, tell people who they are. I didn't say her name. No, no, no. Normal pods. It's like our next guest is a woman, a blood ever, and she's a 10 time whatever. Mary, I had this idea. I got so nervous. It starts and we're just like, girl, your fear. It's your everything. I know. I don't even say who it is. I was going to do this whole stupid like, she's a fucking icon, you know, blah, blah, blah, blah, and then I got like nervous and I thought she'd be offended and she would not. She would have loved that. That's how I felt with Elvira. I just, I blacked out. Here's this, here's this spooky bitch. Saying it. So sort of like, with women like that, established entertainment women. It's like, what am I going to insult you by saying that? Women? It's like, what am I going to insult you by scratching the surface in 10 words or less before I say your name? So you were a black wig. That's like fierce girl. Girl, your fears. You're giving. Girl, are you giving? Thanksgiving. Sweetie, mother, sister, daughter. What honey? The way that I have so many information for you to Q'uan and ruminate and analyze. Thank God. Let's go. Well, happy Christmas. Happy, happy Christmas, Howard. I know we're not supposed to talk about Harry Potter, but when I was younger, hearing- We can talk about Harry Porter. Harry Porter. Yeah, Harry Porter. Hearing British people say happy Christmas. It was like, happy Christmas Ron. Mary Easter, it's freaky. Who would know? Who could have predicted that? Happy Christmas actually means trans people don't exist. I saw this reductress, wait, was it reductress? And it said, J.K. Rowling declares herself as the only woman. No, I'll be the only transsexual when I turn 50. Right, right, right. Actually, I saw that from misery, so. I have so much to tell you about. Can I go first? Yes, of course. So, I don't even know where to start, you go. So, I was- I have a new store, I have a new, I have a lot. So I'll do one section and you can do a section. Why don't we volleyball? Okay, Pimacón, Pingpong, Marty Supreme. I'll be Gwyneth, you be Marty. But Marty Supreme, of course. Who's that? The Pingpong guy, the movie. Yeah, I'm Gwyneth Smoking, you're Pingpongin. Timothee. Timothee Chalamet. Timothee Chalamet. We'll eventually get to that gay porn show with the tennis you watch or whatever it is. The tennis. What is it, golfing? The tennis golf- Hockey? Tennis, golf, volleyball. Yeah, it's hockey. I will keep that brief, but I have some really interesting wonderful things to say to the camera. Please let it be nuanced. Are you kidding me? Are you kidding me? I'm just horny watching. I did a full Taty Westburg apology about, oh my God, I've been thinking about that a lot. We cast the shit out of that. We cast that, remember on the episode? What are you talking about? We recast the 2016, the by-sister drama on this show. Do you remember this? Well, of course we did. You said Taty Sandy Bullock. And we said Timothee Chalamet. Oh my, and why did they make that Pingpong movie? They could have made the banger of the decade. And we said, Jefferies, Emma Stone. And it hurt. Another Oscar winning performance. She would three Oscars for Emma. So I was in Palm Springs doing a photo shoot for the motel. That's not true. I was in Palm Springs and I did a little happy hour at the motel for the guests. Hi, hi, hi. They must have lived. They loved it, yes. And everybody's so nice and it's beautiful and wonderful. And then I went to the Palm Springs. They reopened a theater. He drowned, does that make sense? Okay, I'm sorry. He's not your dad. But you love who you love. What a freak. He's like, he drowned. Actually, he's living in Des Moines. Well, he will drown. Right. Have you talked to him today? He took a bath this morning. I don't know. He's dead, go ahead. Right. I was at the Palm Springs, and they're reopening this big beautiful theater in Palm Springs and they're having this award show for to honor the Palm Springs past, to honor the Palm Springs past, present and future. So I got to be the future. Got my little award and I got to a little speech. And I just did something unprecedented which is lock in and do a good job. You just reveal your tits and start rubbing them? No, not at all. So you know how I love to say the right things to celebrities? Yes. So this is one of those stories. Famously. Right, so I'm backstage waiting and it's at this theater and it's Palm Springs. It's a Monday in Palm Springs. It's, I'm about 40 years younger than everyone there. Which is lovely, fine. Lovely, lovely. There's cheese and drinks and I'm in drag, just standing, Fina's there. Brandon's there, we're just standing. And I'm saying hi to some of the other people getting honored. Lucy Arnez was there. Hello, nice to meet you. Very cool. And then I noticed, you guys know I love Sabrina the Teenage Witch, the original series of the TV show. And I'm watching it recently while I'm getting in drag. So I've been watching it a lot. And I go, oh my God, that is the science teacher from Sabrina the Teenage Witch. I have to say hello. And it's not. So I walk up and I go, hi, I'm Trixie. Like nice to see you. I said, I have to tell you. I watched Sabrina the Teenage Witch when I get in drag recently. It's such a great show. I said, obviously with the magic, you guys aren't shooting in front of a live audience, but it feels like a real live sitcom. It's so funny. I said, the cast is so good. You guys are all so good. Was it Felicia Rashad? No, no. He goes, oh yeah. I said, I said, people must come up to you about that all the time. And he goes, no, not really. He goes, usually it's for bridesmaids. I go, oh, were you in it? He said, I directed it. I'm Paul Feig. Are you kidding me? The director of Spy? And so many Melissa, like I was so, at least I was genuine where I was like, I love Sabrina, you're so good. But he goes, yeah, I was fired after the first season, but it was fun doing it. Oh, so he had something to do with Sabrina. He was the science teacher in it, but he's also a director. Oh, okay, so that's not so bad. He directed The Office. He directed, I didn't realize who it was. Herbie fully loaded, changed my life. But I just love Sabrina. So I was just, I was gushing. I was like, I was like the animatronic. I love the cat. I said, Caroline Ray. I said, the whole cast, you guys are so good. He's like, yeah. He was like, yeah. They kind of wrote me out after one season. I said, people must come up to you all the time. No, not really. Usually it's about bridesmaids. I go, oh, were you in it or something? Love it. You haven't seen Spy? Killing it. You haven't seen Spy? I love Spy. Spy is fucking amazing. So then I go home and Google to him and I was like, oh, here's all. He directed The Office, a bunch of episodes of The Office. You need a, like a Vip-style person in your ear. Like that's, da-da-da-da-da-da. People must recognize you for Sabrina all the time. One season he was on the 90s. He goes, yeah, not really. I did one episode for, I had a walking part on it. And then I was like, fuck, this is Paul Feig. That I listen to office ladies. They talk about Paul Feig. Like I was like, oh, I'm gonna shout out to Paul Feig. And I was in Dragon, he was very nice. Fierce. I got another, oh my God. I got some names on the floor. Charlize Theron's Christmas party. Oh, well, I'm glad you brought it up because if I say it, it's a name drop. But if you do it, people are just happier in that space. Yeah, they're just, because I have the slippery hands. Slippery hands, luby hands. Well, I have a, can I tell you a pre-story to that? And then you can lead that story. Okay, so this night. I got a visual too, by the way. There was a Christmas party. Yep. That we were going to. Oh, yeah. Charlize's party. Yes. And I had another Christmas party that night. So I said, you know what? I'm gonna be slick. I'm gonna do both. This one's at 630. Zoe Deschanel and Jonathan Scott's party, their Christmas party. It's Jonathan Scott. The property brothers, they were producers on Trixi Motel. Are they together? Yeah, they're married and stuff. Like heterosexual love. No, Zoe. I'm just kidding. I'm just kidding. No, no, I'm gonna make this brother my property. No. It's a threple. It's a threple. It's a threple. It's a polycule. So I go, let's just do both. So my boyfriend and I take a car with presents in hand, you go to, you bring a gift. Even if it says don't bring gifts, you bring a gift. I don't wanna be rude, but you bring a gift. I think, right? I brought myself. Go ahead. Wait, listen, keep going, sorry. We go and I go, that's weird. I've been to this party. The gates are normally open in the driveway. We get out of the car, I go, that's weird. They normally have more Christmas lights on and there's like a person out here with a clipboard. That's weird. I'm, mind you, this is their driveway gate. I'm jumping over the gate to look in their house cause I could never believe that I'm there on the wrong day. I'm this close to climbing the fence. I'm like, hold my gift. Mary, that's my gig. That's my gig. So my boyfriend goes, why don't you check the invitation? And I open it, it's for the following. Girl, and it was where? In Brita Brentwood. Oh, no. To Brentwood. Which is like going to Mars. Yeah. Luckily, luckily I have a love who loves me so much that he was not mad, but I was like, one way, one way. An hour in the car to Brentwood, everybody in this troop has every right to be like, you're a fucking idiot. I am an idiot. Wow. I mean, I've gone to the airport on the wrong day. Boo. So then it went, But it's cunty. It's cunty. So I'm like, I don't have to go anywhere. Woo. So then I went home and you came over after. Yeah. No, I didn't come over. Oh, you met us there. Y'all picked me up. Oh, we picked her up. And let me tell you, when I felt so like, faggot queen, when I walked out of my house in my faggoty outfit, I have a picture of me and Fina. And the, it was just. You look like Robin. Disco in Therono. In Theronio. Disco Inferno, but Theron was in it. That was the theme. Yeah. It was a disco. It was like. Disco Inferno party. So I wore one of my drag outfits. I wore a, I wore, well, I have a picture. I wore a like sheer crystal, like shitty rhinestone long sleeve blouse with my nipples jutting out lulely. And then rhinestone slacks and then high heels. Yes. And Fina was wearing basically the same thing. And we did not consult. And the pictures actually came out so cunty. Do you know who else was at this party? Mary, Sophia Vergara. Harfeeg. I walked up to him and I go, I saw you last weekend. I was in drag. The science teacher from Sabrina. He was like, yeah, love it. He was at the Charlys's party. Yes. And I walked up and said science teacher from Sabrina. Look, get into that. Fierce. Yeah, you guys are good. Fierce. We hold on. It's great in this stage in your life to just go there. You know what I mean? I mean, what do I get to lose? Right. Literally nothing. But I mean, no Fina's gonna serve. So you gotta get something. She's serving. She's feeling herself. Fina looked great. In that party, I was so, I don't go, like I don't get invited to anything. You never invite me to anything. So I, once, twice I got invited to like a celebrities birthday party and I chickened out cause I get scared. And then, but I went and I was like, but me and Fina had just gone off a plane, literally minutes. I had like minutes to get ready. I put some shitty silver glitter on my eyes and then they picked me up, walking like a, I got it to the car, but it was so fun. Oh yeah. It was so fun. Except Sophia Vergara was blocking the pizza bar. She was blocking the food. I was like, Mary, I am starving. She wasn't even really going in on the food. Like I'm blocking the food. It's a defensive strategy. She was just standing by the food. And when people are that famous, you're not gonna be like, can I just scooch past you for my fourth pizza pizza? No, cause she's probably trying to be like, you're not getting fat. Gatekeeping. Gatekeeping. Gatekeeping. The food was good. Weight watching. I brought my own marijuana. I thought it was kind of bold to be smoking marijuana in her backyard. Nobody else was. Seth Rogen wasn't. It was just me. But can I just say, and for the record, this is a brag. She did Ms. Charlize Africa. She on the dance floor pressed her whole, tall, gorgeous body against mine for several seconds and screamed into my face, I love you, several times. I love that. You should have her on the pod. I'd love to. We don't have guests anymore. No. Ha ha ha. Everybody wants to come on. We're sick of the bull. I don't know. I don't know that she, I mean, she, she's, there was, she was so beautiful. Yeah. Like she's beautiful. She was super nice. But Mary, she was conti in real life. Yeah. She came out to me and she said, I don't like your friend. And I said, no one does. That old, that, why does he wear in that wiglet? I stopped drinking again and she was like, do you want a shot? And I felt so lame being like, we both were like, we don't drink. No. And she was like, just come stand in the group. So we both stood with people doing shots with nothing in our hand like this. Oh yeah. Yeah. I think I put a cigarette up. Yeah. But it was, okay. So let's just drop some names on the floor. Seth Rogen, Emma Watson, Emma Roberts. I didn't know who Emma Roberts was because she was about three feet tall. She came up and said hi to me because she's a fellow doll collector. Incredible. I said, oh my God, I love your new, she just got it. She gave me a side eye and called me a faggot. Right. And then she kicked me. Queen. No, I, she was so little. Sure, her hair was different than it usually is. I thought the Afro wig was a strong choice. I'm just kidding. I'm just kidding. The, the, the, the, the, the, she had a rubber Wolfman mask on. I was like, are you sure? The Tisca, Emma Roberts. And she took the mask off and there was another mask. One of those rubber Nixon masks. I was like, girl, are you from Point Break? Did you rob all those banks? I think, and I'm not sure. I don't know who the, I think as me and Fina were leaving the party, the, this fierce, fierce bitch. Like, I don't, I don't know what the verb is. She doesn't fall out of a car. She kind of just like, she kind of just like tumbles about on her feet with like no shoes. She puts her heels on and she is obviously someone who's very cunt, young, gorgeous. And I think she's from, I love LA, the new Rachel Senate show to Lula. I could be very wrong about this, but I'm pretty sure. I was like, I don't know who that is, but that is a star. I watched I Love LA and she is so fucking good in it. So hot. So sexy. Doesn't make you love LA? I thought it was gonna be too close to home. Like, you know, Rachel's Senate is very funny. All the people are very, very funny, but like, you know, we live in LA. We're kind of famous. We're very famous and like, but it's funny. It's funny. I think you're famous too. Um. Can you be more specific? Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. What else? Who else? Um, Natasha Leon. Natasha Leon looking very tiny, teeny tiny. But she's about 80% hair. Oh my God. It's so wild. I mean, I don't, I always forget. Tom Cruise is 410. So it's like, they all are so small in real life except Charlize Africa. You know what happened? I brought a gift and abandoned it. I brought a gift for her and I felt embarrassed. So I had to put it down and ran. That's why I didn't bring no gift. I was like, I'm going to bring a Christmas ornament. I asked Brandon to go out and get a Trixie kind of trickiest Christmas ornament. Cause our corporate gift this year was this little Barbie ornament. So cute. But we were out. So I said, just go to get like an ornament that I can take. Tell me why it was like a, tell me why it was like a, like a, like a pottery barn yarn doll. Like a little pink yarn doll made of yarn. And I was like, so. She's going to love that. The retirement home handicrafts. It's a no for me. So I just put it down and ran. Damn. I didn't check it was in the bag. I got there and was like, fuck. I didn't see anybody with gifts. I was like, I didn't see anybody with gifts. Yeah. I always think I'm going to be like, I don't know. They didn't, they didn't do a white elephant. I know, but it feels rude to show to someone's house. Nothing. I don't know. Not to a famous A list rich person. You take something. T. I'm not joking. No, you do that ball of champagne. Ain't nobody touched it. Oh yeah. I took a bunch of that candy. I took the free weed. I ate two pizzas. Yeah. I ate a lot of food. I ate, I like ate the house down at that price. I ate sliders. I had this pizza was so good. The mini burger was one of the best things I've ever had. Finally, when I was able to edge Sophia and I just fucking Elbert in the boob and she fell over and then I have cut. Right. I left pretty early because again, I just have a hard time not drinking at social events. And so then I was smoking weed and then I smoked so much that I got nervous and had to leave. That doesn't seem like a good social anxiety fixer. No. One of the only people I knew came up, Karen and Shipka, we were talking and the marijuana hit and I was like, I'm going to go because I'm scared now. So I think Shirley's is mad at me. I keep seeing her looking at me and going like. April is a dangerous time for me because the second the weather gets even a little flirtatious, I start behaving like a woman of a certain age who has simply had enough. Suddenly I need a spring trip, a trip where I need soft pants, dark sunglasses and a destination where I can walk around at golden hour pretending I have secrets. That is the power of April. It thaws the pavement, reawakens my allergies and fills me with the completely irrational confidence of someone who thinks a weekend away will fix everything. So this spring I'm planning a trip to Savannah where I found a home on Airbnb that is draped in both moss and charm. I want cobblestone little squares. I want to drift around in the spring sunshine like an Antu's on an Eat Pray love trip that includes grits and barbecue. I want to do some light strolling and maybe buy an impossibly impractical piece of jewelry in a local boutique. And at night I want to sit down to a dinner that is so good it makes me briefly forget pretty much everything. This is the kind of trip where you need to place that matches the fantasy. That's why I love booking stays on Airbnb because when I travel I do not want to be crammed into a hotel room with a view of a parking lot. I want a real place to stay. I want a living room where I can decompress after a long day of wandering around and judging Southern architecture. I want a kitchen for snacks, a table for my frosty beverages and enough space to dramatically collapse on the floor like Julia Robertson something to talk about. And if I'm traveling with friends, it's even better because then we can all stay together instead of scattered down different hallways in a hotel. And of course, once I start planning one trip my brain immediately escalates. Suddenly I'm looking at Carmel next, then Malta, then Hokkaido Island, a little ocean air, some seafood and maybe even a long walk where I pretend I'm processing something deep would really I'm just thinking about Russian pop music. Whether it's one quick spring reset or the beginning of a full warm weather spiral trips just feel more personal when you book through Airbnb. Inspired by jet engine silences. The Dyson Hushjet Purify powerfully purifies the entire room quietly. Capturing pollen, allergens and pet dander. Removing odors and harmful gases such as NO2. Day and night. Hushjet, powerful compact purification, that's quiet. I was, I had the best fucking conversation with this comedy writer. God, I have a word. Was it the science teacher from Sabrina? Yes, it was. Paul, something I can't remember. But we, she had a great idea because I was like, of course I'm going on and on about Injustice Crap. And I'm like, I really want to produce a live, whatever, animated series or something. She's like, we should do it at the Pasadena Playhouse. Like a table reading or like a live reading. But you read the Dynasty. Yes, Dynasty Typewriter. They do readings. I just did a... Will you do it? Will you be Samantha? Of course. I read a episode of a... There was an episode of the Brady's there. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I did that. And they do readings of TV shows and movies all the time. So guess who I just saw there? I went there two nights ago to the Dynasty. Who? Dina Martinez Christmas show. I hate your guts. I think I hate you. I want to kill you and murder you. Why didn't you call me? Well, my boyfriend got the tickets and we took his mom and grandpa who were visiting. They've never been to a drag show. Their first drag show was Dina Martinez. I mean, it's all downhill from there. I still have not seen her live. Oh, it eats. She had a joke that turned me out so good. What was it? She struggled to put... I don't want to like blow away the show, but it's almost Christmas over. She was struggling to put on this giant fur coat for like 90 seconds during this musical interlude. And once she gets in her shoulder, she throws it off. I love it. And also she had this other bit where she goes, when God opens a door, he opens a window. No, when God closes one door, he opens a window. And when he closes that window, he turns on the TV. I like lost my mind. Well, her wig stuck performance of the Rose is I think the best drag performance ever. Not a question. Yeah, she was. Not a question. It was really funny and the dynasty is so nice because you're right there. Oh yeah. And with Dina, closer's better. Yeah. I saw Meg Salter and Hannah Einbinder at the dynasty and that was wild. Meg Salter at the... Assaulting. Oh baby, hostage situation. Hostage. It was like, it was comedy terrorism. It was amazing. Hot topics. Okay. Heat rivalry. I know you didn't watch it. No. This is Connor's story. I want you on the pod very badly. Please come on the pod. Why haven't you made this happen already? That's like personally offensive. But like he... So yes, okay. This show is made for me. Beautiful lighting, incredible asses, Russian, yada, yada, yada. But he's American. His Russian accent is so impressive. And he speaks like, he has a whole monologue in Russian at like the fourth and fifth episode long, a lot of Russian. And it's so impressive. It's so impressive. And he does not speak Russian. Wow. How do you memorize that? I think Andrew was saying he had a fucking like drill sergeant, crazy, bulk dialect coach or whatever, you know? And that, and he obviously worked really hard. I think he said in interview, he was the most proud he's ever been of anything he's ever done. And he should be proud because it was so impressive. It was like, I mean, I've been studying Russian for 10 years. Dejorker, peniness? No, because I downloaded every clip available of them fucking, but then I deleted them because I cry. Oh wow. I cry, to me it's so... Listen, it's a show about two gay guys falling in love. There's no fucking AIDS. There's no fucking grape. There's no fucking death. There's no fucking like tragedy. The only tragedy is like not being able to come out. Then what are we watching for? We're watching for romance. Yes. No, I would love that. Love like... Amanda Hugging Kiss. Yes. And then but like fucking hot nasty sex fucking. And not like, there's no meth. There's no like poppers. There's no like, it's beautiful. Oh. Longing. Longing, pining, yearning. Justifying my love. Ha ha ha. Maybe I'll watch it. I've been watching, I'm just something really unprecedented, which is, I don't know what I gotta be in my, oh, I went to Vanderpump's dog gala. And then... Ha ha ha ha. No, no, no, no, sorry. And then I weirdly was like, I wanna watch Christmas Housewives episodes. What does that mean? Because I lived with David for so long. I think I did mentally develop part of my brain that likes sex. What does that mean? Like, oh, there's a housewives that happened in Christmas. Gotcha. And I put on old episodes of, housewives of New York, which is... And what is the best season? Very, very, very, very drunk, older women with young men fighting. Is it like, is it not a white refrigerator? No, that's Atlanta. Atlanta. And that's way, way long ago, right? This is like the 2012s. And it's like old rich white ladies in New York, screech, screaming at each other. Is this, is this Countess Luanne? Yes. Okay. And that was kind of fun to watch. We're gonna find a watch, some of that. And then there's a new Amish show coming. Full body chills. I'm telling you, I'm like, we're already wishing I could have my own pod about it because this show, they have normal people volunteering to go live among the Amish. And at the end of it, they decide whether or not they're gonna stay Amish. That's fierce. It's like the opposite of Rumspring. But I'm kind of confused because a lot of Amish people like wouldn't be caught dead on camera. So I'm like, these must be kind of liberal Amish people to even allow cameras to be around. Or it's like candid Amish camera. I don't think it's candid. But like, maybe the cameras are made out of wood. I think people are like, I'm so sick of the internet, social media over stimulation. I wanna, I think life is better, like less stimulation. Like they're going not, they're going, they're skipping the light dumb phones and they're going straight to Amish country. That's wild. And I like to learn about the Amish. I don't know if I need to, I don't know if I need to do that. My new thing is snake churches. Baby, let's talk about the Testament of Anne Lee. Who's that? Thank you. It's Amanda Seyfried as one of the founders of the shakers. And this movie was so fucking boring and so boo boo nasty. Is it Bunny's shaker? Bunny's parents for shaker, I think. Really? Her parents shaker, yeah. No, Quaker's very different. Quaker's, these people are doing a choreo. They literally do like, it's like girl, you can't have sex. She has a husband. It's like, it was so disappointing. Amanda Seyfried, I adore her. She's so beautiful. She's such a good actress. But they really just ought to, it should have just morphed into a modern dance company. Cause they're on this boat, it's almost capsizing, but they're praying, but they're praying is like, did you pray today? Did you pray today? Yeah. Testament of Anne Lee. I kept calling it the temperament of Anne Lee or the temperature of the testicles of, Sunyi, the testicles of Sunyi. Testament of Anne Lee, sorry, thumbs down. Amanda Seyfried, thumbs up. I did pretty much finish every Christmas movie that exists. Did you watch Scrooge? Yes, watch Scrooge. Who ever plays the fairy that flies? Carol fucking Kane. That shit's so funny. Toaster, yeah. Her flying is magical in that movie. She is, she's chews up that scene. I also love the scene where Bill Murray's in the elevator and opens the chest and it's all those screaming demons. What about that fierce flash forward with Claire? Claire, Claire, they're just children. Oh yeah. She look, Margot Kidder, yellow teeth, love. Like so fierce. That was when people had yellow teeth. I also went to a stage production of A Christmas Carol in Louisville, Louisville, Kentucky. I went to see a stage. Was it a community theater? No, it was a professional regional theater. I never seen a Christmas Carol. Obviously all these- Was it a cold, bleak Christmas Eve, like that kind of thing? Yes, and they're in period outfits. Did they have the solid gold dancers? No, no, no, no. They're in the Jiminy Cricket outfits with the little hat and the tailcoats. So you couldn't see the nipples. Merry Christmas to all, it's like that. You couldn't see the nipples. You couldn't see the nipples. I did like it. Can I tell you, wait, did we talk about, did we talk about, it's a wonderful life? Oh, I think so. Okay, so I've been really Christmased out of my mind this year. So I was in Milwaukee. They have something called the Stackner Cabaret, which is a tiny, maybe 120-seat room. And they do a lot of like Route 66, songs of the American Interstate. What? Like they do like- Life is a Highway? Where it's like four people who sing, doing songs that are like, the 1970s were huge for women. Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. I will follow him. Like they do medleys and do like historical shows. I don't know how to describe them. Is that the car wash? Yes, it'll be like that. So last time I went there, I went to see Beehive, music of girl groups of the 60s, which was amazing. Oh, that sounds awesome. All bangers, no skips. You can't skip a live show. You go to the bathroom. I kind of treat it like a gong show. If I don't like the song, I'm like, boom. Yeah. So I went to see, this was a stage production of, it's a wonderful life. That was a like 40s radio station, doing a radio play of It's a Wonderful Life. So the stage is set up like a small radio station. And as you walk in, you see the actors and their period outfits come in, drink water, warm up, gargle, and they are pretending to be radio play actors doing It's a Wonderful Life as a radio play. It was amazing. I love that. So when they're not in scenes as characters, they're doing bells, door slamming, snow crunching, they're making all the sound effects. We're doing that with then just like crap at the Pasadena play. It was so cool. Tell me why it started out. And I was like, this is kind of corny, okay, whatever. But they're doing singing commercials, like a radio play. Like jingles and stuff. Yeah, brought to you by laundry detergent, like doing the play, like it's a radio. When the summer is blazing. And then when somebody's not on microphone, the other people are in character as actors, like seated, drinking, watching, making the jingle bells or whatever, doing the sound effects. So many sound effects. Nobody was ever just sitting. All these people were up there doing every little sound effect. Like anything, wind blowing, there's wind, like everything. Now were they doing any acapella or they had tools and stuff? No, but one of them turned around, pulled up in the face. And sounded right there. Yeah. So tell me why I went from, yeah, it's a little corny, but okay. For my, I'm like my mom's like, the end when, I mean, I'd never seen the movie. It's a wonderful life. So maybe I just didn't know what really happens. I don't, is that the not, it's kind of, it's a Christmas Carol. Where he sees his life if he wasn't born. It's not the Nazi movie. No. And then at the end, Oh, that's life is beautiful. He has this new appreciation for all the good things in his life because, you know, the, the America, whatever, the streets, Merry Christmas, whatever. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm crying. Like I'm at a general hospital, St. Emma Roberts, general hospital standing with my mother. Pull, they pull the plug. I'm crying. It was so good. And to me, maybe the brain rot, something to look at at all times, the story and jingle bells and shit. No, that's fierce. So, and they all had period wigs and costumes on. It was great. I just loved it. No, I'm so happy. I want to see it. I'm so glad you told me about it. Fly to Milwaukee, go to the Stacker Cabaret. Oh, is it? Yeah, I was like that. I still want to see that paranormal fucking activity. That's gone. It's in London now. Well, you can eat all of our asses. It's in London now. Oh, it's so good. I know you just cried, but like it sounds riveting. It scared me to death. That's so cool. I've never been scared to death by anything live other than a haunted house or me in the mirror at like three a.m. At EDF, we don't just encourage you to use less electricity. We actually reward you for it. That's why when you use less during peak times on weekdays, we give you free electricity on Sundays. How you use it is up to you. EDF, change is in our power. Households are shipped weekday peak duty by 40% for an up to 16 hours of free electricity for each subject to fair usage care. For all teens and seas visit EDFenergy.com forward slash high high from tower. Football fans, listen up. This April, buy and go to the FIFA World Cup Final with Lenovo.com. Spend 499 pounds or more and you could win two tickets to the FIFA World Cup 2026 Final in New York plus return flights, hotel stay and dinners. But remember, you must register for your chance to win. Enter now at Lenovo.com forward slash contest. Hurry, competition closes April 30th. I'm Daisy Callagher. She's two from Belodec and certified lover girl. And I'm Mark McNamara, world traveling director, game show host, former charter guest, and according to the authorities, public minutes. And this is Yacht Mass. We're diving headfirst into the wildest, cringiest and most chaotic corners of travel and pop culture. From celebrity meltdowns and hot viral stories. To vacations that went from five star to, somebody called the Coast Guard. When two friends are talking, the guard comes down and the truth flows. Oh, we're gonna get in some trouble. This is going to be a new episodes every week until Daisy falls off the boat again. What did you do for holidays? Oh my God, let me tell you. So I went to a really gay fucking Christmas party. Oh, and I met the guy. No, no, no, no, no, no, no. They had, I, It's a catamine. No, no, no, I didn't say that. It was a white elephant. I didn't bring gifts, so I skipped out before that. But nobody told me. Nobody told me. So I'm in trouble for bringing a host gift and you wouldn't even bring gifts to, oh, no one told me. I did bring my own soda though. You better believe that because they had a cute thing. They had little wine glasses and you have name tag. So you can't, you know who to roofie. And so you write your name on the glass and so you don't lose it. So I kept refilling my Coke and then I went to water and I would like pretend there was like, oh God, it's so strong. And then I was talking to the guy who made your little heads. Jacob. Yeah, no, Sean. Oh, the Trixie heads. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, pretty cool. Thank God, because there was a lot of really like cool people there. It was like a very like chic crowd. Luckily that loser was there is what you're saying. Isn't that awful? Sean, if you're listening to this, I'm so sorry. No, you are a loser. A flop. No, that we had, we like sat down right next to the bathroom and for like probably like 35 minutes. Did you coke? No, it was funny because I thought I was like, we're right by the bathroom. It smelled like shit. And like, because it's a bathroom. Cocaine makes you shit. Well, right. But I was like, people went into the bathroom and was like, no, Tommy invited me into us, into the bathroom to see the color that he painted it. And I'm like, people are going to think we're doing cocaine. Also, no, color. There's only seven options. Like, yes. Green. It was like, it was like a coral orange. It was actually, it was actually a cuntie. I thought it was going to be another psychic moment. I had a really good one the other day. Well, I told you, did I tell you about my grinder one? No, Mary, it is kind of, it is, this has happened. I've done it three times. So I'm doing the grinder podcast, had Lushison, Mary, I said three words. Yeah. Jinx had on, I said two words. Right. I asked her a question. She gave me 12 pages of text. Jinx, how have you been? Well, I was born in 19, like, like that woman is verbose. And thank God, because some of the other guests were not, not so forthcoming with their words, but the, so I was talking about, we're talking about, I forgot what I was talking to. Anyways, I talked about how getting a sexy massage by two guys. Okay. And then I talked about later, I asked them if I could pay them to watch them have sex. Oh, okay. It was like a voyeuristic thing. Like, and they were like, of course, wonderful. And I had a great time, but then I was like, oh, I kind of felt like I want to get directorial. And then there was like, that's kind of weird. I go back after the interview, I go back to the back room and my phone, check my phone, I got a text from them and I hadn't received any communication from them since June. And I'm talking to the minute, at least to the 10 minute mark. The moment I stole that story, more or less, give or take 10 minutes. They texted me. That's crazy. I mean, it's not crazy, but it's like, that's a, I had a weird thing. Just yesterday I called Matteo, Matteo had a medical event. I don't want to over test those tea, but I called and said, are you okay? I just had a feeling to call you and he was like, how did you know? Mary. And then I was at my rheumatologist last week and I had a dream that she was getting married. I went through rheumatologists and she was like, yeah, I said, are you getting married? She said, yeah. How did you know that? I said, I, I, maybe she told me and my brain remembered. The giant sparkling engagement ring. Oh, she was in a wedding guy. She, sorry, it was after her wedding. You saw her drive the car with cans dragging. He were driving behind her the whole time. No, the way I have to spill some realty. Do people know that this room becomes Kelly Mantle's pod? Can I spill the tea, you guys? There's, I was watching Kelly's clip because a certain guest was, went viral on there and I had to watch. Yeah. I listened to Milano. It was me. Um, and you guys don't know purple curtains pull closed and they bring in Kelly's milk crate or whatever she does. She just, they bring in her trough and Miss Kelly gets, you know, they give her a quarter G they pump. No, that's like saw. They have a toilet with like a saw and a handcuff. They chain her to the desk and they chain her to the desk. Love Kelly. Love Kelly. Wait, wait, wait. Okay. Let me, let me, let's not done. Okay. This is a big, oh baby. Baby. Well, I'm not, I want to talk to you about some good. Have you heard the good news? Have you heard the good news? There was, sorry, this, I'm just going to silence this before I hear the good news. Okay. I have to silence me too. Cause a lot of people are calling me too. I get a lot of calls. I get a lot of calls. So mold, moisture, it famously rained so much in LA recently. It was so bad. The LA river became a river. Yeah. My guest house was leaking. Like, I'm out there changing towels on the floor, like a, like a maxi pad. Like mama, let me tell you what I was doing. Okay. Okay. First of all, don't ever get a moisture reader. If you are not a contractor, a carpenter, some kind of a professional person who does work or deal with wood, drywall, moisture building, whatever, because what I did is like, they have a setting for drywall, hardwood, softwood and masonry. So you, you, you press it against the thing and it would like give you a reading of like it's dry or wet. If I put it like on, you know, if we just put it on like a puddle in the Florida, it'll go, oh, wow. I did that. I didn't even know that existed. Oh yeah. Yeah. There's one with pins. You can stick them in and then there's a, a, a one that like it's more professional costs like 300 bucks. Girl asked me why I saw some bubbling, some definite water damage, like a small patch. So I went ape shit. That read a little like a dinged. Then I went down, it dinged again. Every fucking corner of every room dinged red. I was like, well, there's water in my whole condo on every floor in every room. Are you on the top level? Um, uh, well, there's three levels. It's the three, it's a townhouse. It's a townhouse. Okay. Sorry. So I'm like, well, it's over. Like we're back to, not even back to square one. We're worse than we were in the beginning. My contractor comes over. He's like, yeah, those corners are metal. That ding is dinging metal. That's not moisture. You fucking idiot. He didn't say that, but I was like, order relief. Do you have no, is that bad? Mary, that's good, right? It's the best thing that's ever happened to me better than drag race. I was like, I was like my eyes, but I almost wanted, I just, do you want a blow job? Do you want to finally, yeah, I was like, I couldn't. I did not believe the relief. Do you know, I felt so stupid, but the relief was like overshadowed the stupidity. I had a similar good thing, which is my condo, and I won't say the rest. Damn. My condo where we film YouTube, which is located, drop a pin. Nick knows it has, when it's rain sometimes leaked in the closets, the closet sleek, which means my drag gets wet. All my equipment for camera equipment gets wet. Love that. And I had the, I've had the ceiling, the top sealed probably five times. Yeah. And this time I went over there being like, here we go. I'm going to get the phone number ready because I know it's going to be a fucking swimming pool in there. Nothing leaked. I think they finally found the leaks and sealed it. So similar success because with the rain, I immediately was just like, well, we're going to be swimming. Yeah. Oh yeah. It's water rolled Kevin Costner. I, but they're, they, they're doing the deck. So we, there were a punt, Mary. Can I say you're from mass. I'm for whist. You, why not just, we know about weather. Why not just make it so that if it rains in LA, nothing leaks. Why not just do it? We know about weather. We drive in 12 feet of snow. Right. Why not just make sure the roof does this a little bit? Yeah. Why not just make sure? Why is everything LA flat so the water can just pool? Yeah. I hurricane Bob, she, she got us. Yeah. She got us, but that was a hurricane. Right. Hurricanes drop trees in your house. That sucks. Tornadoes in the Midwest, but Miss Rain, Miss Snow, unfazed. What about London where it rains every single fucking day? Every day. That's what I mean. I know it doesn't quite rain in LA, but it could. And it does. And so why is every roof, not just flat, but a divot Mary collect? What is going on? Andrew and I got a new studio. The, and when we drive in, they have me like, oh, she can't park there because it's flooding the restaurant downstairs. Cause I was, I parked in just like you said, a divot restaurants flooded with the restaurants leaking because there's a pool right above it on a concave driveway. I'm like, what is wrong with you people? Fix it. And like, where are the, where are the belts for this? Like where? But Mary, this, this is the only time I really wish I had a reality show. Because when, after I did the moisture thing, they had put a tarp. Like they had done a very nice job of putting a plastic tarp on the deck. But that day was pouring all fucking day. It was bad. And there was. And all night. Yes. And there was some, there was some actual visible water damage in the studio in four spots. I'm like, well, it's over. You know what I do? I go up there with two brooms. I start sweeping the water to the drain. No, no, no, no, no, no. Then I get a wet back. Then I get a wet back, borrow, borrow Patrick's wet back. Mary, it was so embarrassing because I was soaking wet. It was like trying to blow dry your hair in the shower. Did you know what I mean? It feels very the notebook, which is all wet. Like why didn't you write me? Like, I don't know. But I didn't have hard, hard nipples. I'm not, you know what I mean? It was like, I love the notebook. But I was like, in my mind, I was like, okay, it's going to be like, it's going to get that thick. It's going to just the whole fucking roof is going to fall down. Yeah. And it didn't. It didn't. Thank God. And I would love to believe that had something to do with me wet backing. I think you did it. That's, let's say that. Yeah. I am humiliating. All this time off for holidays. Well, you know, because I didn't go to Wisconsin this year. I have guests, which by the way, at this stage of my life, having house guests is so much better than being a house guest. Like I love hosting. I love cooking for people. Oh my God. I've been cooking meals every night. I love to shower and wake up and say good morning to everybody. Crutite? Hot cough in the morning? One that I made lasagna. One that I made pot pies. And then I just made pancakes for breakfast yesterday. Incredible. I liked it because it's more, most recipes are for more than two people. So it's kind of nice to be like, let's do it and all this food will be eaten. Imagine if you did like a whole spreading just ate yourself before everybody broke out. Of course. Hiding food for myself. Breakfast was amazing guys. Where are you all eating? Sometimes I find candy in the house that I put away for myself like a squirrel and I'm like, oh work. That's okay. It's okay. It's a little treats. Yes. I, and I, it's fun to have house guests. It's fun to, you know, my house is all Christmas doubt too. So I was like, let's do, let's do it. But you know, I get overstimulated. So I've been after a nice long group social day, I'll be like, I'll go to bed at 10 and read my book. You know, it's nice to decompress before you go to bed. No screens. No screens. But I've been reading this book called Mr. Magic. Oh yeah. Yeah. That is creeping me the fuck out girl. I got to read this shit. I just started. So I don't know what happened. So I can't spoil. I'm going to write it down. It's about this nineties. I don't know if it's nineties. Yeah. It's about a kid's show, a retro vintage kid's show that everybody has seen, but nobody online and nobody who's seen it has any real memory of like who's honored or what happens. And then all the kids who start in it are having a reunion and they're like 30s. And none of them can remember being on it. And it's creeping me out. I don't know what it is, but something about it is a great premise. Yeah. Because what is that? Let's like, what did you call the Mandela effect? No, the Mandela effect is where you like think a logo is something and it's not like that stage of your life. I have so many memories of TV shows, but don't know what it was. The Streisand effect is when you try to get people to not look at something and they do. Right. Let's let's call the Streisand because she famous. She has this giant fucking mansion. She's like, no, don't photograph my huge fucking mansion. Of course, everybody photographs the mansion. Try to see like Google Earth. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That's why it's called the Streisand effect. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, it says, you know, from the person who has a mall in their basement. You know, make sure you think of social media posts that piss me off so bad that it's like, don't look, don't zoom into the left corner and then you zoom in and it's like, don't read the description. Got you. Mary. Every time I throw my phone at my new wife. I lose an iPhone exactly. Straight in the pool. Straight in the water that's pulling on top of my house. Damien, we need to go to the computer store. Oh, wait, I can't. I'm saving it for the next episode. Are we doing two? I got a good one. Yeah, let's do it. Wait, hold on. Spilled a bottle of silicone lube. A bottle with the cap open. This is literally like a terminal diagnosis. You know, this way. You have to move. So you've got, you've got, you've got a death in the family. You've got your whole family died, brother. Sister, wow. Yeah. Dead. Gone. And then then you have, you know, like a world war and then you have silicone lube in the, in a whole bottle. Well, remember when you said your nephew was like, splish splash, taking a bath, skating in your house on it? Maybe that was the other house. And now the horror continues. It follows. Why are you using silicone lubricant? Because I have a weenie that is so dry. But water's hydrating. Water lubricant is better. It's so. But it washes off. I hate the feeling of silicone on your like taint. Oh, see, I love the feeling of silicone. If I could, if I had a sex dungeon, which I definitely don't, I would like have a, you know, if I was like Epstein Island or whatever, I would like have adults come over and who wanted to. And then we would like just roll around in like silicone lube, kiddie pools or water beds or whatever the fuck. Okay. I love it. I love the, it's so, and you can do it in the shower because I have that wonderful shower that I can have sex in. Right. But you can have sex in any shower. But mind you can have sex with like four people. Oh, do you like group sex? No. I don't either. But I love the option of like, or we can just shift because we have like the one thing and then the, you know, the, all the different. I like have no, I had a lot of group sex when I was younger. Really? I've had a lot of three ways and four ways, not orgy shit. Okay. Not showing up at a sex party, none of that. Yeah. Good for you. Yeah. Not me. I was with them. Oh, sorry. Sorry. I've been a third or have thirds many times and four ways and all that. And it's very much at this stage in my life, completely unappealing to me. Yeah. It's not for me. I'm also not like, you know, devastatingly hot. So like I worked with this model at the grinder thing and I was like, what are you doing? What are you doing tonight? He's like, I'm going to orgy and I was like, I fierce. I think you should have sex with fans. I think it always goes well. Yeah. I hope it's not. He won't care. I found the white whale. Is it the white whale? Something you've been looking for. Brennan Frazier. Oh my God. Oh my God. You were joking. Your pinning is like Brennan Frazier. I had a heart attack and then he floated heaven. The floating is not the white whale. The white whale. Oh, fuck him for the wheel. Not him. Jeren Aronofsky. So this is personal, but I won't mention the name. I hook up with this person on Grindr. That's anonymous enough. I'm sorry. Fuck off if you listen to us and you're like, yeah, I know that was me. You weren't named. Yeah. Yeah. Shut up. His name is Bob Nelson. No. What are we supposed to get on here and be like, I had some food from a restaurant. Yeah. Someone. And something happened. And it tasted relatively delicious. Yeah, I know. He just wanted to have his ass eaten. Okay. Okay. So that is too good to be true for me. Right. Because that is my favorite sexual activity to do, to perform. And usually what happens when a bottom says that is that they, when they say they like having their ass eaten, it's kind of like, yeah, eat my ass and then fuck me. Right. And it's, they like it, but I feel like they're kind of overselling their enthusiasm a little bit because they want to get railed sometime. You know what I mean? Also like love getting your ass ate, but it's not a 40 minute activity. Baby. Unless it is. Sweetie. Was. Darling. Do you get lock-drawn? I had my tongue is still sore four days ago. So let me, let me, let me just tell you, let me tell you. He, it was incredible. He was not a tweaker. Wow. Not, he just, just a little bit of poppers, little poppers. But you know who's, you know who champions? What? The extreme sex activities. What? The sober people. Well, yeah, because they have to people in the program. Oh, they're the one doing the groups. I was at the dinner. I was at the dinner with the guys who came from Burghain. Hello. Thank you diapers. How? No, but, no, but. So anyway, comes over. I mean, the pictures don't do them justice. The booty is like, I was like, I was like at the, you know, at the Louvre, like. You look. Just admiring. I ate his ass for two hours. Wow. But I didn't, I have, I didn't have poppers because I don't do poppers. I don't like, because I take Viagra and it's like, you can't. So, but I ran. What a fierce way to go though. Of course. Bloodshot. She died doing what she loved. Well, I didn't know. Like he mentioned poppers. I was like, I don't have any. He was so good. I ran out the house in my slides and my little short shorts and a tank top to the smoke shop. They were closed, ran up the street to another smoke shop to get him poppers. Not you stopping the sex to do Instacart. Mary, my own. I didn't drive. I didn't drive. I ran in my slides. He was. You lock Emil. She had the Emil. Emil, not try. Emil, not try. You lock Emil. Mary. And then it was worth it because it, he truly enjoyed it. And I'm not to be gross. His asshole was not just clean. It wasn't just like a fresh skin. It was scotch guarded. It was beautiful and it. Swiffered. It tasted good. Right. It's like he's sugar at the rim or something. Well, that's the teriyaki. That's the A1. That's the A1. The A1. The A1. It's the A1. Wait, is it, do you guys take a look? I don't know. Well, honestly, I hope this person's not embarrassed because this story makes them sound like A star. Mama, and guess what? Walked to my house, lives close enough to walk. Maybe you can do it again. Are you joking? I'm just waiting for the tongue. Frenulum to heal. I think that's a wrap. I think we're good. No, no, no, no, no. Wait, I'm not done. Okay. It was like imagine Monica Baluci or Angelina Jolie's lips. Blistex every day in Hawaii. So hydrated. So moist. So supple. His butthole looked like Angelina Jolie's lips. No, no, no. No, just the feeling. Imagine kissing that was beautiful woman. Detox. His butthole looked like detoxed lips. No, no. It was just, it was, it was. is I thought every few minutes I was like, this is too good to be true. He's gonna lose interest or whatever. Is he robbing me? You keep one eye on your wallet. Hello. Mary, he was in my bed. He didn't even move from the bed when I went on my little errand. Boop. You left him in your house? I sure did, because I knew he was trustworthy. He was like, what's he gonna take? Mary, my man. Oh, my taxidermy. What the fuck? Which, cliffhanger, next episode, you're gonna love that. Okay, love that. Let's stop it there, you guys. Thank you. I'm gonna say thank you. Ew, bye. Ew. Ew. Thank you for what? I'm Daisy Caller-Hurt. She's two from Below Deck, Uncertified Lover Girl. And I'm Mark McNamara, World Traveling Director, Game Show host, former charter guest, and according to the authorities, public menace. And this is yacht mass. We're diving headfirst into the wildest, cringiest, and most chaotic corners of travel and pop culture. From celebrity meltdowns and hot viral stories. To vacations that went from five star to, somebody called the Coast Guard. When two friends are talking, the guard comes down and the truth flows. Oh, we're gonna get in some trouble. This is going to be a Yacht Mass. New episodes every week until Daisy falls off the boat again. Are you chronically online? Well, then hey there, howdy. Come on over and check out the Wild, Wild Web pod with me, your host, Eric Sedanium. We talk all things internet, like memes, viral content, online things that we love to hate and hate to love. We ask your favorite internet people about their origin stories and what made them fall in love with the Wild, Wild Web in the first place. Whether it's hooking up on Club Penguin, the Jonas Brothers old YouTube sketches or just girly things on Tumblr. At the end of every episode, we dive into fan submitted stories where my guests and I react to some of the nastiest, wildest things I've ever heard. Y'all are crazy. It's a digital rodeo and we're taking you on a wild ride. See you every Thursday, wherever you get your podcasts. Dating disasters, internet idiots, and kids spending all of our coins. Gross! Welcome to Quit Planned with Jasmine and Amber, your new favorite podcast where nothing is off limits and every lemon can be turned into a laugh. We're comedians and moms, so we listen and we don't judge. Girl, yes we do. New episodes drop every Tuesday. Subscribe to Quit Planned with Jasmine and Amber wherever you listen to podcasts, Apple, Spotify, or YouTube. Watch us act the fool and look good doing it. And remember, Quit Planned with Jasmine and Amber. Welcome to Only Child with me, your host Bob the Drag Queen and multi-award winning comedian, drag icon, trader, New York Titans bestselling author, and incredibly humble person. This is my first solo podcast that I'm doing without my annoying little sister. Every week I sit down with friends, future friends, people like Justin Madd, comedians, drag queens, reality TV stars, Broadway actors, and many, many more people. Every episode ends with a very important Bob-coded question. What's the hell you're willing to die on today? We're gonna get real, but I promise we'll also make you laugh. So let's get into it.