Surviving a Stroke and a Near-Death Experience

Welcome to Obsessed, where Mika, Tia and I challenge the thoughts that limit you. Where we provide the tools for transformation, be prepared to be swept away into the raw power of obsession, unlocking secrets and stories behind the insatiable hunger for growth and change. This is more than just a podcast. This is your story. It is a manifesto for those who refuse to settle, who dare to dream, and who are relentless in the pursuit of living a great life. Get obsessed with your life. Zulini go the extra mile to take care of our skin. How would you like lavish organic skincare products at a fraction of the costs? Yes. The organic skin company, their motto is Happy Skin, Happy Planet. This is a first skin care product that is combined luxury, captivating aromas and well-being for us and our planet Earth that we share. My skin is glowing and it smells like sweet rosemary after every use. Feeling so grateful right now that this product, their line is not exclusive just to New Zealand. It is now available in the US. This is available at the click of a button. Their whole line is extensive. You can easily go from vitamin C that has nine active ingredients that hydrate and revitalize your skin to the tumour oil, which is for your face for any dark spots, fine lines and wrinkles, and hydrating face oil. The list goes on. It's available now. Get familiar and get obsessed with your organic skin company. I am channeling Nancy Spano, the author of Stroke of Love. This is an honor. This has been something that has been on my mind for so long. I am fascinated by not only Nancy Spano and her amazing book. Everything will be in the show notes. You're going to have to check out her book by her book, Read Her Book, devour her book because she is incredible. She is probably the biggest badass I know. You think you've had a bad day? You think you've had a bad situation, a life, or maybe you just want to grow in the town. Nancy is here to speak on all of this. What I find fascinating, and this is what I want to dive deep into today, obsessors. She has had a near death experience, and let's kind of pick her brain and walk through what she went through. Nancy Spano is changing people's lives. She is an advocate for change and advocate for voices, and we all have those stories, but wait to hear Nancy's story. She is a stroke survivor. She is a cancer survivor. She is a wife. She's a mother. She is a dog mom. She is changing the world with her voice. She's speaking on stages. Welcome Nancy Spano. I really want to know you were dead. You died. You literally flatlined. Can you tell us a little bit about that? First of all, I want to say to the audience, I did not pay Julie for that. Yes, she did. She paid me with love. So first I want to say thank you, and I am just so happy to be here. Where do I begin? I'm good to begin. You died. And why are you here? I'm literally crossed over to the other side, Nancy Spano. And I always call her Nancy Spano, which is weird too, right? So I'm going to begin at the end, like my book. And the end or so I thought the end for me was the day that God and I had coffee. We had a conversation. I don't know if I, if you want all the gory details, but the, we love gory details. It is a story that is so surprising and I am fascinated by the, is it a phenomena of near death experience? And we're all that what are we most afraid of, Nancy? We're afraid of speaking on stages and I don't know which one is more powerful. And I'm doing both. Yeah. Go figure. All right. So I'll go to the day of of my near death experience and or I should say the week before I lost peripheral vision in my right eye and also, wait, how old were you? What were you doing? What was it like? Give us a look background. 2019. So I believe I was 46. I'm not good at math. 2019. It was June 2nd, 2019. I believe it was the day or the week right after Memorial Day weekend. And a week prior, I had lost peripheral vision in my right eye and I just thought it was due to my thyroid disease because when my levels are off, things go wacky. So a week before this event, I couldn't parallel park because I couldn't, the peripheral vision in my right eye was gone. Wait, I can't parallel park even with 2020 vision. And I don't mean to dismiss this. This is something you could do all the time and you were sensing something was off. Yeah. So I had at the time I had my two young girls in the car. So this was, I don't know how 2019, I don't even know what six years ago, my oldest was a little one. She was six or seven. So I had them in the car and my motherly instinct kicked in and I was like, wait a minute. Something's wrong with my right eye. I can't parallel park. I can't pull it. I can't pull it into the curb. But I just fluffed it off because we were going off to this and that thought it was something to do with my glasses. Fist forward to the week after that event. My husband and I were arguing and not that anyone knows of our marriage, but we have a wonderful marriage and we very rarely argue. And I put it in my book as though I wanted to unzip myself from myself if I could. Like I wanted to get away from myself. That's how much I was irritated, aggravated, frustrated. My personality was changing. That's basically what was happening. And my husband took me aside and he's, oh, I'm sorry to interrupt and I'll delete a lot of my interruptions. But you noticed or he noticed your personality was changing. That's interesting. And this is something I would do want to discuss the signs of what happened to help people if they do recognize. Yes. Absolutely. So my personality was changing and I will fill you in on why that I found out that was happening at the time, but at the time when it was changing, I didn't know. So he took me aside and he said, listen, it's a beautiful Saturday beginning of June. I'm going to take the girls to target and dinner and whatever. Like you do you because you're being a bitch. Like there's no, like I love you to death. I love you to death, but you're being a bitch. And I don't know what's going on with you. Is it PMS? What is it? I don't know. Wait. I hate when guys say is a PMS, by the way. And I know your husband is amazing. He didn't mean it that way, but don't you hate that? Is it PMS? Is it is a PMS? Is it I was like, I don't know. You just need to like get in the car, go to target and you do you and I'll do me. So he left. I was happy. But then I was scared and feeling like lonely and like, wait a minute. Something's something really is wrong with me. And feel that way. I clean. Now, I'm sure I'm not the only one that cleans when they get angry. So I said, you know what? Screw it. I'm going to vacuum. I sit down. I have an upright shark vacuum at the time and the bristles are all filled with crap and whatever. And I'm like, I'm going to take the vacuum apart and take the plate off the bottom and clean it up because it's not working right. And I sat down and I tried to take the plate off the vacuum and I couldn't remember how to do it. As I'm sitting there, I have like tears in my eyes. One that I'm so angry, another that I'm so scared because I know what a vacuum is. I should be able to clean the bristles if I want to, right? And vacuum. And I couldn't figure it out. I get angry with the vacuum. I don't honestly don't remember if I even started or finished or whatever. And I said, you know what? Screw it. I'm going to the grocery store because I can go grocery shopping. I know how to do that. I drive to the grocery store and I'm standing there with my grocery cart and it hits me like a ton of bricks. I have my hands on the cart and I'm looking around and I'm like, why am I here? What am I doing here? What do I need here? Do I need anything here? Like the questions are just coming and coming. And I remember for some reason, it's almost like that instant, that flash. I remember looking to the right of me and seeing like a big, it was like a, it was like, it's called fair, fair acre farms. So it's like a upscale market. They have like fresh blueberries and stuff. And I remember seeing blueberries and I'm, all right, I'm going to put them in my cart because now I'm starting to feel like I have that big pimple on my nose that only I can see, but I feel like everybody else knows what's going on. So I put the blueberries in my cart and I start experiencing a huge pack attack. Now all I want to do is go in the middle of the store, curl up in a ball and start crying for my mother. Now I'm 40 something years old. And I'm like, okay, what the fuck, guys? I start sweating. I'm walking feverishly up and down the aisles and now each grocery store is different, but these aisles have what's marked on the categories is all labeled. And I remember reading the labels and reading like coffee, flour, sugar, whatever, but not being able to have the note all of if what I needed was actually down that aisle. Now a little voice inside me was like, you need to leave this store because something's really wrong and you need to get some help. A lot of this stuff is blurry. I guess I left with my blueberries and I went to another grocery store because I was determined that I was going to go to a grocery store and I was going to get something for the night for dinner because I was such an awful mom. My husband hated me. My personality was changing. I was a bitch to my kids. I was going to cook spaghetti and meatballs and damn it, I was going to go home with something. So I go to the next grocery store and say thing happens. So fast forward, my husband calls me and he's like, where are you? We've been home for hours. Where are you? Now I'm thinking that I was only gone for a couple hours when by the time I got home it was almost dark. My girls and my husband come outside. They help me. They put my groceries inside. I'm in my kitchen. Everybody puts the groceries. They alongside the cabinets and I'm in the kitchen by myself or so I thought. And I'm looking at the groceries and I have no idea what to do with the groceries. And now I'm like pissed at myself and I'm like, okay, there's sauce and there's pasta and there's cottage cheese and there's pudding. But what the hell do I do with them and where do they go? I opened my refrigerator door and I didn't know that my little one was standing behind me. And she's watching everything I'm doing. And I turned to her and I just looked at her and I said, where's daddy? And it was almost like that she was looking through me. And she was like, why? I don't know where daddy is. And I was like, you need to find daddy. And the next thing I know, I turned around, something made me turn around. I didn't even wait for her response. I get to the end of my steps. We lived in a town home at the time. I get to the end of my steps. And just between walking from the kitchen to the bottom of the steps, the right side of my body had gone paralyzed. My border collie comes from behind me and hits me. My hand, my right hand is paralyzed and it's hanging down towards like my knees. And my border collie comes up from behind me and sort of wakes me up. I guess I was in shock. I don't know. And when I look down, I see my fingertips hanging past my knees. And I'm like, what the actual F is going on? I get to the top of the steps banging on the bathroom door because somehow I find out my husband's in the upstairs bathroom. By the time he opens the door, I had no control on the right side of my body. My face had been drooped down, my right arm, my right leg. And he basically caught me, dragged my dead body weight onto my bed. He could hardly get my body onto the bed because the right portion of my body is literally dead weight. And when he put me on the bed, I started the right side of my body that was paralyzed is now coming up on me and I'm having a seizure. I just remember saying telling him to call 911 and of course he knows that. The fact that you knew to say call 911 as I'm thinking about this. And we're just talking about the stroke that you had before we get into your death experience. There are those symptoms. Did you have a severe headache? That's one thing I've heard. Like you have a severe headache, balance, slurring. Just the week, nope, just the week before the week prior was the peripheral vision and the right eye was gone. And you were so young. I mean, you are so young, but you were so young. It probably wasn't on your radar. Was there any genetic component to this, your mother or grandmother suffer from anything like that? No, come to find out. I was high risk for breast cancer way before that. I didn't have breast cancer. And I was on hormone replacement therapy for five years and they said, you need to come off of that because you're high risk for breast cancer. So actually what caused ended up causing this stroke was a medication called a fixer and it raised my blood pressure. Sounds like a lawsuit. Nance. Yeah, no comment. What come to find out is that when you're on this medication, your blood pressure is supposed to be monitored, which I was not told of. And I started on a very small milligram microgram and they tie traded me up to a higher dose. And as they did, it affected my blood pressure to the point where my blood pressure went so high that I had a stroke in a seizure. Wow. I mean, that's horrifying. That's horrifying. So take and I didn't mean to interrupt, but I know these symptoms are great for people just to hear about in terms of yeah. Maybe they see a loved one or they've had these and it's not too encycl panic, but it's just good knowledge to have in your arsenal. Take us back. So you're on the bed. You're telling Robbie your husband to call 911. The fact that you knew to say that is very interesting to me that you had your wits about you. Tell us what happened after that. After that, the next thing I know, he's gone. I don't know. I guess he took off because he had to go take care of my girls, call the cops and all that. The next thing I know, he called the cops, Nancy. He called the cops. No, he didn't. He called 911. Okay. Okay. He didn't call the, he didn't call the polko. The next thing I know, a strange paramedic man is standing in my room asking me all these questions. What's your name? Who's the president? What town do you live in? What state do you live in? And I had the whereabouts to know what was going on with me. And in my head, I'm like, okay. I'm not, I can't even say what I was thinking because I was like, okay, stupid idiot. I'm having a stroke and a seizure. I know that time is of the essence. And I don't know my name. I don't know the president. I don't know where I live. But we need to get on with this. Then he's asking me if I can smile, if I can squeeze his hand and all this stuff. And I'm like, okay, we're wasting time here. The next thing I hear is code stroke, code stroke, code stroke. And I'm like, oh my God, I've never been so excited to hear the words code stroke. I guess a couple other paramedics came up. And because I had a very narrow stairwell, they couldn't fit a regular sized stretcher. They put me in what I call a potato sack. They put me in this flexible, hammock looking potato sack. And my head is like bobbing up and down the steps. It was actually comical. And they get me to, I lived in a townhome complex. So of course, fire trucks and the popo and ambulance and everybody's there. Lights, sirens, you name it. And in my townhome complex is outside with their popcorn, trying to see what the next movie is on Netflix. And I'm in front of my children. And I remember because I was like in such a position that I knew that they were outside looking at me, but I couldn't make eye contact with them. And they put me on a stretcher. They push me into the ambulance head first. They close the doors and everything was like, eerily, if that's a word, eerily silent. I was alone in the ambulance for, it felt like forever, but I guess it was a split second. Remember looking at the doors once she closed them on me. And I remember saying to God, please God, you can't take me now. My baby still need me. The next thing I hear is my husband sitting in the front of the ambulance with the driver paramedics saying, I'm here. I got you. I'm here. I'm not leaving you. I'm here. And of course, I couldn't answer back. I guess I must have blacked out in between all these experiences, these time slots, because then the next thing I know, my eyes are open and I'm sitting next. I was alone in the ambulance for a split second. And then when I opened my eyes, there were a bunch of paramedics around me. They're doing IVs and they're checking this and they're checking that. And there was a time period before we even left my driveway where you would think that you would feel anxious and scared. And I didn't feel anxious or scared. I had this, it sounds so like cliche, but I had this peaceful, calming, soothing, bright, white light that I was walking into, that I was enveloped in. And I didn't see God, but I clearly heard his voice. And he said to me, I can take you right now. But I choose not to. And the reason I choose not to is because you have a mighty purpose. And your purpose is to go back down to that stretcher and to share your story and change lives. And that was verbatim. Thank God. With that, the white light was gone. God was gone. And my father was also deceased. And from behind me, and I could feel his embrace and he just grabbed my shoulders. He made me know that his presence was there. And he said to me, it's all going to be okay. And he took off. And I tell people, family friends, whoever wants to hear that it was within that moment of God's presence and my father's presence that the right side of my body was still paralyzed. I was still having a seizure from my home to the hospital. But I had had a conversation with God and I had a visitation from my father. And they both acknowledged that I had a mighty purpose and that everything was going to be okay. And that's what has brought me to today. That really is incredible. And NDE's near-death experiences are something that the scientific community proposes and says they're not real. It's your brain shutting down. Okay. So I'm just going to say that. Put that out there. Everybody is frightened of death. Everybody wants to know that everything's okay. What happens after we die? And it is funny how every single story seems to resonate with that warm white light and also having loved ones. And I guess if you do have this purpose in life, they are trying to get you to go back and finish your purpose. I'd find this comforting in a way that we are living this life, we're living a singular life on a two-dimensional plane. I think there are so many levels to our energy and spirituality. And it's so fascinating how there are thousands, thousands, thousands of these stories that are like yours, Nancy. Some are more in-depth. Some actually go to heaven, Dr. Ebb and Alexander, which I'd love his book, Proof of Heaven. What made you realize that this wasn't just a hallucination, but this was reality and where you were religious before or did you have a strong sense of God because we don't speak necessarily to Christians, but spirituality is a big thread through everybody's lives. So I'm over-reaching, over-speaking. You were religious in a way you had a strong faith. What made you feel like this was real and just not something that, like, a dream, you know? Sorry. If I don't make sense, Nancy, it's because I'm just trying to get out of that. No, I might. Yeah. Goodness. No. So I was brought up Catholic. I left the Catholic religion as a very young girl for lots of different reasons, my own feelings, beliefs. My husband and I came together and we now go to a Christian church, which a lot of Catholics and Christians have their own views on that and I get that, but I'm happy in the Christian church. And more so than being Christian, whether I go to church or practice any kind of religion, I have faith. And my faith is so strong that it cannot and will not ever be broken. I always had a very strong relationship with God. And after this experience, I mean, my faith has gotten, my husband and I, through incredible obstacles that I don't think I could ever overcome without the faith that I have. How did you know it was God? Like how did you know it wasn't just a dream? That it was just a psychosis of you and your brain and you're having a stroke. And I'm just asking because that's, I'm asking as the devil's advocate, if you will. No, absolutely, absolutely. And I don't mind answering at all. How did I know? So I don't know if you want to call it intuition. I don't know if you want to call it. There was no question in my mind. And I, after I experienced that experience, I didn't come out of it ever for a second. Questioning was that God. It's almost a mother just knows, I don't know, that her baby, the doctor tells you, oh, your baby has a high fever, but just go home and give him Tylenol and he's going to be okay. You don't know what it is that your baby is suffering with, but you know that it doesn't just require Tylenol. Something's really wrong with your child. And I think it was sort of the same, if that makes any sense. Like I just knew, I just knew that that was God. God and I had, you know, whether you want to say it, you know, a coffee chat or a moment, it was God and I've had, I've been interviewed before on, on near death experience podcasts. And one of the questions was, did I see God? Did I see his face? What did he look like? I didn't have to see his face. I, hearing God's voice, hearing the authoritative voice of God, there was no question in my mind that I had spoken with him. He had given me my purpose. And I was, I feel that we are all born with a purpose, whether we ever find it out or not. I feel grateful enough that I was able, chosen, whatever you want to call it to have found my purpose. My purpose was always there. It was just clouded by so much trauma, abuse, depression, all the negative and toxic things you could ever think of. My purpose had been clouded and fuzzy all my life. And for me, it took this experience of a stroke to uncover my purpose. And I love that. And quite honestly, whatever you believe, it is what we all believe, what we believe is our reality. And I think that there are, this has been going on for as long as it's time, right? Just the whole idea of near death experience. It gives us comfort here living on earth. It could be tied to religion. But what I know is that the common elements of a near-death experience are feeling that out of body experience, the heightened senses, what you mentioned, the tunnel or bright light that warm, enveloping light, the feeling of peace and euphoria and then having, you didn't mention you had a life review. I've heard that with some near-death experiences that there is this life review. And then you have a boundary. And I think your dad was a boundary that was letting you know there's not a point, there's not a point of return. Meaning Nancy, you need to go back. You do have a purpose. And then returning to your body. So you're checking all the boxes. And I'm just asking as a journalist, but who is obsessed with this idea because it does bring me comfort to know there is something past this life. Am I religious? I am spiritual. Yes, I believe in God. I was brought up with a strong Christian faith with my family. However, there are those points in your life where you just ignore that spirituality. And I think this probably pinpointed it in a stronger way for you. Nancy, just how has it, having this experience changed your life, changed your relationships with your husband, your children and your vision for what you're doing? Yeah, I just a side note on that a couple of weeks after this experience, I don't know what you want to call it, experience events. One of the paramedics happened to live in my area because obviously I, right, he was in the town. He came in the ambulance. And we literally bumped into each other in Dunkin Donuts. And I hugged up and I was like, you were there for me. You were like my lifeline. And I forgot the real, you know, details of the conversation, but he said to me, which I didn't know and going through medical records because I needed, you know, the records of the events for other doctors. So at the time of my stroke and my seizure, I learned that my blood pressure was at 200 over 110. And I speaking on a medical and I'm not a doctor. I don't play one on TV. But speaking on a medical aspect, 200 over 110, I'm very lucky to still be here. I'm not sure exactly what happened in the brain and how it all lit clots and all that. But they were basically saying that the stroke was the initial hit. And then the seizure was like my body trying to redo, if that makes any sense. Back to your question, Julie, and thank you. My life and I could go on and on. So I was, I've been married 20 years and I always say that there's so many versions of ourselves. And the version of myself that married my husband 20 years ago, I see pictures of her. But that's not who you're speaking with today. Because on the day of that near death experience, that version of me died. And this version of me that you're speaking with today is the new version of me, the one that has a new perspective, the one that is here to serve others, to help others. Now I didn't go into my history of abuse and what I've experienced as a young child. But why God kept me here and my purpose here is to help women and children overcome trauma and abuse and to change their perspective and their mindset on life. And that's my purpose. That's why I'm still here. Julie, when you ask how has this changed my life, like I said, the day of that stroke and seizure, the version of Nancy Lava-Tovic Spano that was born in 1972, passed away on that day. And now this is the new version of me and I am walking in my purpose until the next time were the last time that I take my last breath. That is incredible, Nancy. It's incredible because we often don't know what is coming next in our lives. And we often need that wake up call. I'm not saying you need a wake up call of having a stroke. And we'll put in all resources for anybody that suffers with symptoms or just so you are aware. I know awareness is the biggest thing, but a wake up call like you had, not everybody, it's a blessing and it's also something that if you don't use that power, the voice of your universe, of your God, whatever you believe in to direct how you're living in life, you are missing a big opportunity. You got the biggest wake up call of all times. There's so much more to your story, Nancy Spano, or I like to call Dan Spano. You need to read our book. You need to find out more. This woman is changing the world. Nancy Spano, stroke of love. We are obsessed with turning your pain into power, turning your test into a testament and listening to those whispers of the universe or from God can change your life. You just have to be open to it. Thank you, Nancy. I love you. Everyone check out our book. I'm putting it in the show notes. Right now, as we speak, I'm also going to put in the link to her website. Reach out to her. If you have a story like this, there is so much power in our storytelling. And Nancy Spano is leading the charge. Thank you, Nancy. Obsessed with you. Thank you so much, Julie. I am grateful for you and when people come to me initially and I tell them a little bit of my story. And I'm like, oh, don't even say that. It was a gift. A gift. It's a gift you will be obsessed with. Check Nancy Spano out until we meet again next week. Get obsessed with your life. We are listening to another episode of Obsessed. We're obsessed with you. Show your love by rating, reviewing, subscribing and sharing with your friends. Every time you share, you are changing someone else's life. Until we meet again, get obsessed with your life. If you liked the show, please take a moment to rate, review and subscribe. It really does help the show to grow. Thank you for listening.