Sex Patrol w/Greg Stone & Anthony DeVito

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What's up everybody? Little gas face. Yeah, you love the gas face Bob. I do man, I love third base. No you love gas. I do, I get it. There was a little dig in there, I liked that. There was a little dig. I had terrible gas yesterday, but I was sneaking it out. You remember when you used to leave the studio and run out when you had to? Yeah, but I couldn't yesterday. Jay was in the middle of a story, I didn't want to be rude. Alright, that's fair. Jay was in the middle of a story and I snuck it out. It was like, and I piecemealed it. I could have done that whole thing all at once, which would have been terrible. And maybe made a noise, but I let a little bit out and a little bit out. You know, a little tiny bit and then a little tiny bit and I held it for like five minutes. That is pretty thoughtful. I do have respect for you guys. And Jacob wasn't here. We just saw him MC search, was it outside? No, outside, right? Yeah, search. Yeah, I used to love this band. This is my joint. Oh my God, he's so fat. He's fat now, yeah. Everybody's fat now. It's the saddest part about life. Everybody just gets bigger. Even if you're not fat, you just get big. Like your head gets bigger, your nose. Everything gets bigger as you get older and you can't help it unless you really just lose all body fat. You know, even Tom Cruise is getting big. Trying to think of still somebody who age didn't really affect and they still look very slim. Brad Pitt, I guess, but he's not. He's not as slim. He got bigger a little bit. This is that natural bloat. Yeah, just natural bloat in your face. It just happens. We just saw him outside MC search. I was going to run up to him. Christine knows. I have no fear of celebrity interactions. To the point where me and Jay have crossed the street to get away from the way you're interacting with them. You guys walk away from me. You guys literally, I heard you go, no, no, Bobby, no. You tried to stop me. Yeah. Well, you were yelling. Jimmy Fallon was walking ahead of us and you were yelling Jimmy on the street. I know Jimmy. I know him. I know. Know the way that your camaraderie when you caught up to him, I was like, I'll look at them getting along. Well, I'll tell you, I was a little nervous because when I ran up to him, I was like, Jimmy, he had to look at me and remember who I was. And then he looked at. Hey, he did the hay. He didn't say Bobby. I was. I had to say my name. Just to let you know, I was Bobby Kelly and he's like a Bobby. Let's go. And then he, it all tumbled down from across the street. It looks like you guys were the best of friends. Well, we became best of friends again, again. You know, this is one thing about celebrities. I met him doing the oh, my head's itchy. Oh, God, why is my head itchy? That was weird. That felt like just something attacked my head. That was weird. What if I have a stroke right now and just die? No, Greg Stone would be a perfect fit. You know, they can slip into this chair real quick. And then we'd have to talk about action figures for two hours. You guys would have to fight five different comics. I can do it. You know, I can. You know, a lot of different comedians are getting in touch with me because Sebastian took over is taking over raw comedy. I know one. Yeah, you do. Right? Yeah. Rich Voss. Yeah. And also Lenny. Who? Yeah. Lenny Marcus. I'm not saying, but I'm nodding. Okay. Well, that's weird. You made me say your piece of crap now. I have to tell everyone he's not the boss. You know, he doesn't come into the office and take your comedy off the radio. I don't consider that. I actually consider him on my boss now. All right. Yeah. There he is. Ladies and gentlemen, Greg Stone and Anthony DeVito. The great. I call them a couple. I say comedy duo. You know, because you have one hilarious. You have the other one hilarious. Put them together. It's an explosion of. Good comedy. You sound like you're pitching us Bobby. I am. I'm trying to pitch him trying to get your show at Sebastian station. You guys know Sebastian the new boss around here. Put your headphones on. So yeah, put you. You got a moment? Are they on? Hi, sweetie. How are you? Oh, look at this. What's going on? It's rushed, man. Buddy, you, you are going. You, you just letting it gray happen. Let it go, man. Man, you really. You just let it go down quick, brother. Wow. What do you mean? What should I do? Should I do a thing? Well, here's the thing you could do. Yes. And if I had hair, I would do it. I would, I would use the medicine. Oh, I would get that. I would die it out. Oh, all right. Yeah. I would die my hair. If I had hair, I would die it. I can't just die a beard. I'd look whacked. Yeah. It always looks crazy. It looks a little crazy. It's so unsettling. Yeah. It looked like a UFC announcer. UFC fighter announced it. And now coming to the ring. I, I, but you have beautiful Italian hair. Thank you, Bobby. So beautiful. Please. And you could just die that real quick. I could ruin this. You could wash that gray right out of there and nobody would know the difference. Look at your, because here's why your eyebrows haven't gone gray yet. That is true. You got dark Ben Shapiro eyebrows. And his views. Yeah. We share so much. What? Yeah. So you would go straight black with this thing. I would go, I wouldn't go black. Okay. I would go maybe a lighter black. Like, you know, I, I'd wash it out a little bit. All right. Yeah. Wash it out of you. Wash it in. Buddy, because you have a young face. Mm hmm. Greg. Hey, buddy. Keep doing what you're doing. Absolutely nothing. Why do you look like you just ran here? Because. Anthony looks like he strolled here and got here 20 minutes early. I ran here. Okay. And he got here 20 minutes early. No, actually he, this is a classic Anthony Greg situation. I am running late. Everything falls apart. I get here pounding and sweat. He's on the couch just like, we're good man. We're good. And then we walk in together at the exact same time. Way too different energy. Yeah. Your energy is manning. Oh, I'm going to die. It feels like you just killed a man. Yeah. Greg looks like Leslie Jones after an hour set. Did you see this? I then I came in running late freaking out. I grabbed the microphone. Somehow I broke the microphone. Well, you grabbed it. You grabbed it aggressively and the mic was on. So it was just going through the airwaves. So everybody was just hearing you go. That's what that noise was. That was, that was Greg. It seemed to run 20 years into the business of show. Just grabbing the head of a microphone. You all right, dude? Take a breath, dude. This is great. There's some water right there. You want to splash it down the back of your neck cool down? Oh man. I yeah, I'm good. Well, I know. There's nothing worse, dude. When you're, you know, and I'm like, look, I'm, we're, we're both a little heavy, right? We're heavy guys. We're, you know, Anthony is one of those gifted little Italians that has an Al Pacino body. Yeah. I mean, just always a little guy body, you know, and it's so funny because that chair is for little guy bodies. He's sitting in Jacob's chair. And, you know, we can, we can put on a little bit here and there. Easily. And there's nothing worse than a day like today when you don't realize how hot it's going to be. It feels nice. But if you have to run or do anything anywhere, that sweat just happens. You hear this? Also, this microphone is right into my nose. So I hear this. Greg is going to die on air. I feel good. Sounds like you're wearing a CPAP machine. My children. I'm not touching. I'm very afraid. I will lose trying to help you out. There you go. I brought, I didn't bring anything. You didn't bring anything. I had planned so many things. I had a gift for everyone in his room, ran out of my house of a bike, except Anthony. He didn't get one. I had a different action figure for every single person, including Jacob. And then I ran out of the house without it. Was Jacob smaller than everybody else's action figure? It was when I swapped in the box. It's a G.I. Joe with a Barbie inside. Because I think that's who he is. That is the greatest description of Jacob. I think I've ever heard he's a G.I. Joe with a Barbie inside. Has anyone ever been out at his trans on the bonfire? I just more like, I just more like more to blonde and big titty than trans. You know, a beautiful woman. Yeah, he's hot. More than he doesn't know who he is. He's a hot chicken side. He's a tall hot chicken side, but a short man inside who's miserable. That's the thing too. They say like, this is my thing about trans. It's gonna be horrible. No one's gonna like this. I'm gonna say it without even thinking about it. I'm glad we're getting into this minute one. Yeah. Hear me out, right? Everyone's like, well, I'm a man on the outside. I'm a woman on the inside. I want to, I don't know how about this? How about you just two things? I'm two things. I'm many things. Are you coming out right now? I think this idea of being a thing. I'm a many things. I'm a man. I'm a child. I'm a dog. I'm a woman. I'm all the things. What? I'm a many things. You're a dog? I'm a dog. DAWG dog. Oh, okay. I'm the big dog. What kind of action figure would you have? Transformer, of course. Triple changer. I'm a man. I'm a woman. I'm a train. Optimist grind. What, um, would you ask? Go ahead, Bobby, please. No, it's all right. No, please, Bobby. You go. Yeah, for God's sake, Bobby, you go. Would you just fucking go already? Oh my God. I'm trying not to fart in the studio right now. The crew has me scared of my butt. They really, they fart shamed me every day. I, uh, no, I'm just saying you, you came in, you like, we got gifts. I got gifts for everybody. Don't you know that when you have gifts for everybody and you forget the gifts, you're not supposed to tell them about the gifts. Maybe this is the first day you've met me. There's not a thing I can keep behind the wall that is my mouth. If it's there, it's coming out, baby. I can't cheat on my wife. She would know the minute I did. I'd call her like, I fucking somebody else. Can you believe it? She'd like, no. Who and how, how are they doing it? Cause I'd like to know. So my wife would say, bitch. I don't know if she's good. We have time. I like coming in with this energy. The dog and you came out. The dog, the train, the girl and the guy. I'm on the rails, brother. What were the action figures you were going to get? Are you explaining what you're going to give to Jacob? What were you going to give to everyone in the room? Yeah, please go around. So some aren't so good, but some are pretty good. Christine has a X-Men, a retro figure rogue because it was the only woman I had available. So I think that works. She was a woman and you're a woman. What did rogue do? She would take her gloves off and she'd touch you and she'd melt you, brother. Oh, the one that you can't touch. Yeah. And none of us can touch her. Jay would understand that. Jay wears gloves. There's something there. I get it. Yeah, yeah. You, this one is not really so much as you because I had. Do me last. Do you last? Do me last. That's what you say every time in the three lines. Yeah, that's why. I like it tired. I like it tired you. I don't like this energy when you're doing me. Bobby is always the headliner. Yeah. Black Lou, I like to just call regular Lou. I still will never be comfortable with that. I'm so sorry. You don't, can I say something? Yeah. You can just call him Lou. But they told me. Who's they? Nobody said that. It's a trans community has been telling me to only refer to him as Black Lou. Okay. And I'm not comfortable with it. Well, don't say it. Just call him Lou. He responds to both. You have a question, Anthony. Why is the trans community deciding that he needs to be Black Lou? You don't understand Anthony. That's fine. That's fine. That's fine. You don't get it. I'm always behind the curve in terms of these fucking these white guys don't get it. They always just want to jump in. You two woke bastards. I'm on the phone with the trans community every night. I do a check in and I do a close down. I call up my goats up today and they go this was said that was said and I go to and I do a close down. I go good night. Try to trans community and they could night Gregory and I go to sleep. I love you. You did the voice halfway through. Good night. Gregory. Not everyone can call me Gregory, but the trans community can of course they can. That's the only way they know to say it Gregory. So Lou's is a little crazy when I say crazy as he was a G.I. Joe. I had I think his name is heavy duty. He has a full fucking anti tank missile thing. He's holding and he has a backwards hat because in my head I went Lou always has a black word. Had on a black words a black words back. Wow. He's a black word. The trans community also makes sure that Greg says that as well. They always say to me they say look you could be transphobic as long as you're more racist this way nobody knows this. I'm going to call it black words had from now on. That makes so much sense. So he has a backward hat on it and I was like this is just like him because he always has a backward hat and then my produce. I've never seen him with a hat. They say this my producer Adam this guy prints Adam. He's great. He goes I've never seen him. He's amazing from England. Okay. He lives there and he won't come back after COVID. You know people just stayed where they were. All right. He's like I've never seen him in a hat. I go this guy wears a hat every time and I Google him not a fucking day. Have I seen you with a backwards hat but in my mind you're a backwards hat guy. Yeah. He's a bonfire days. That was a backwards. Were you. Yeah. War Cowboys had all the time. Yes. Yes. So technically correct. Absolutely. You would have saw that figure and you would have had nostalgia. You would have been like I'm this is great. This is who I was. Thank you. Yeah. So what about what about you have to say DJ. Because there's two loose. Yeah. You don't have to say black. You can say DJ. Yeah. Yeah. Yours is a little shitty but I think you would have loved it most. It was a a Ken Danico figure that was abused to shit because in my heart you're a devil's fan but I believe you're actually a rangers fan. I'm a baseball fan. Well that was wrong. The whole way was off. So you really would have said how did you use you just feel this because in my mind. I always see you in a New Jersey devil's Jersey and then I go wait he corrects me on that he says our rangers fan. I want to know how you two are friends. I mean it's two different personalities. I think you're kind of seeing it in action. You watch a wild dog loose and you're like that's hilarious. So fun. Yeah. And you just go back and pick up his dog shit when he's done. Exactly. There you go. That is really it. So why why did you think he was a hockey fan. In my mind he is a New Jersey devil's Jersey on every time I see him. OK. I'm from New Jersey and I'm passionate. So thank you. Yeah. OK. That's fair enough right. Look I'm trying. You're doing great. My brain is fried. All right. What did you what were you going to get me yours was a three piece. Oh three piece like yeah like the trans community. OK. So I have a mezko Batman. Oh from the old school Batman. Yeah. Because I swear to God you didn't have good toys growing up. Well what the fuck does that mean. He's the play. He's spreading everybody. So. What. So funny. First of all. You didn't have toys or a good child. I had toys. Greg you would sticks and lollipop old lollipop. There was a period where my mom gave me a spoon for a year. So yeah. But that spoon had a name in the face. There's a high end Batman figure from the old Batman like the old school Batman like the old school one. Yeah. But that was just because it's so fucking nice. Right. But really what I also have you is it was two kingpin figures. Well there is why. Wait for it. I know why. You don't know why. I do know why. Because I'm chubby and bald. No. Why. Because you used to be chubby and bald. Because the. Because it's because there was a big one. Okay. And then there's the Vincent the Navier which is significantly smaller. And I wanted you to look at them and look at yourself and say look how far I've come. All right. Well listen. Vincent Navier is not my goal ways. But his fingers basically it's just not really based on his body. But long story short you didn't do any of this. Left it all in a red bag. Yeah. Santa comes to the tree and goes fuck. I left my red bag but I'll still take a nibble of the cookie. So we're never going to see these. Yeah next time. I'm always here every six months or year every six years. Three three and a half years. These are the yeah let's look at the figures. So that's the. So that's the Hawkeye. One. That's not Hawkeye. That's not Hawkeye. I don't know what you're pointing on that. That's not it. The ones that are all the way to the left. That's him. That's my kingpin. Yeah. Significantly smaller. Hawkeye kingpin. Losing a lot of weight. It looks that looks like me. I don't like that. That's still fat. That's why I got you the Batman as a backup. Why could you look at that. It's worth so much money. Why could you get me like what's the guy with the bullseye. You're a bullseye. Yeah. He's bald. When's the last time you've ever thrown anything. I think he's also not bald. Dude. I've been married. How many things I throw at her bulls. I doesn't throw stuff at his wife. He throws his it is. He did and she died. And she did. Yeah. I don't know that's true but I like bullseye bullseye is awesome. He hits everything. Was was was Will Smith bullseye. No. No. Who was he? Will Smith. I mean I'm in and Hancock. No but in the I man I man he was I'm going so fast. I gotta slow down. You got it. I can't Greg. Listen to me. Who was who was Will Smith in the the last superhero movie he did where he hit everything. Hancock Anthony said no not not Hancock. He was like Superman. Oh yeah. Deadshot deadshot. That's right. Is the same thing as bullseye. Nope. But they do this. One is a black man. Okay. One race is everything. Okay. If you see past race you're not seeing who these people are and you're not acknowledging them. But in in the superhero world. Yeah. They they they they mimic each other right now now. No one's different. Well who's who's one's bullseye and one is dead eye. Dead shot dead shot. Yeah he could do everything like we could hit anything he wants. Bill's I could hit anything he wants to. Yeah but you eat I eat those are similar things we're not the same. I'm not a good co-host. We're talking a fantastic. Yes and nothing. A fantastic. But why don't you want to look one is a different one is one comic strip and the others a different comic the two different comic strips they're not in the same universe. I don't know World War two just happened and Bobby's got his paper Sunday papers. Dude. That was okay. Marvel Marvel and DC have very similar superheroes sometimes yeah right because they steal from each other. Yeah sure. Is it isn't that I hate when you just look at me and just listen. I refuse to listen. I refuse to listen to Bobby's trying and I can't I stop. I don't listen you do not listen to that little man. You just do what you do. Medium size guy. You're not making a two sport athlete in high school. Have you know in high school. Well you know only guy in shape of the table. What sport did you play basketball and soccer. Basketball you got damn right I did what position all of them. What do you the point card. You're the point card. Yeah really said all of them. Let's just not always we always stop the car a little bit just to you know let him know. Yeah I was I was a good basketball player. You were I was not good enough though right. Well what are we talking like you couldn't go to college. You didn't get it like a scholarship. Well no I went to the University of Miami that would have been. You would have been the bullseye. I would have been the duffel bag. You'd still be pulling the pussy off your shoulders brother. Still 20 years later get it off me. Miami Bay. Right my right or my right or my right. You're right you're right you're right. You're right you're always right. You didn't play sports right. Yes I did. You did not. Yes I was I was an aggressive inline skater. Yeah I went to Woodward camp. Was sponsored by a Cedar Grove. He's definitely the aggressive part. This is why I love people. This is why I love hanging out with you. Every time I'm with both of you I found out some weird new detail that you forget to mention even though you don't stop telling me stuff. What. I'm going so fast you're only catching about 10 percent of it. What did you say. What what what did you do in sports really in high school. I swear before the Christ my savior your savior everyone's savior. I was one of the best inline skaters you've ever seen in your life. What is it. What is inline skating great. It's like a roller blade but it's the same. Okay jump on rails and you skate down them and you do some half pipes. Yes. Can't he's not going to I'm not lying you. You were not an inline skater. You must be a video I'll pull a fucking video up and put it up your ass right now. They're proud. Yes they're probably is a video of you on YouTube skating right. I think there's one. Okay. We could probably get that guy. So you were like a professional skater. It was a Cedar Grove skate shop and they just gave me free wheels once but I was sponsored by them. You were sponsored by so you were really good. I was very good. And I did not know that about you. That's amazing. I gained all this weight because that's how I used to stay off the weight. By skating. By skating. So when you quit skating you gained all the weight. That's the cause. Mm-hmm. Okay. That was the problem. And when did you pick up figurines. Figurines. Figures. I only left figures for about three years. So as a kid who was a child who had toys. Right. Then I went to high school. Yeah. And I'd say about senior year I went I'm getting back in the old toys. What was I doing without them and I've been going strong pretty much ever since. And now you have your own channel that you sell and buy toys. I don't sell and buy. What you make. Not so much anymore because times are hard. Okay. But with time. Does it cost a lot of money to make it. What is it called. An action fig. Action fig. Yeah. No it just takes a lot of time. And I don't have the kind of time with all of my writing and crushing. But don't forget your chosen. You're trying. You're not crushing pussy. I mean my wife or back baby. Oh you're back. You're crushing your wife's pussy. Back baby. That's great. So she's getting it now. It's like crazy dude. Really crazy. Crazy and we stopped. What. For a long time. Because you had two kids. No because she doesn't like to have sex with me I think. So what. What. What changed. Well butchering. You do casually say the saddest things I've ever heard. It just comes out. It's like. Unbelievable. Someone would you know labor on that for a while after saying a sentence like that. But not you. You're just you're on to you're the middle of the next thing. All right. Now he stopped. Yeah. I was in here whatever issues those were there and whatever but where I came back. How to come back. One day she just said I'm back and I was like here but I went in here's what I did. I tell you this. Say this one. We were back and I'm not wasting this. I googled how to make my wife come. Let me tell you this when I was a kid you couldn't Google it. Why are you whispering into the mic because this is how you talk sexy Anthony. Oh yeah. I was going to say something. I was. I'm having a great time by the way. I'm just a listening man. Go ahead. Yeah. Yeah. So I Google that really because we couldn't Google it. How many Google things came up just to just go the first one 99% of its porn but you have to write it. You read in the word scientifically and then it tells you the real deal. Oh really. And turns out I've been doing a lot of things wrong for a long time. Like what I was licking the walls brother. I was nowhere near the doorbell. I'm going to throw up. Why was that too much. You were in what is licking the walls. Imagine you're looking for a doorbell. Oh OK. I thought you were opening her vagina up and licking the inside. No dirty dirty. Yeah of course you would think that. No this is a crazy metaphor. Yeah man licking the walls not the doorbell walk us through that. Well I'll tell you this. Are you honest with you or you want me to like we want you to be honest. Give us a little honesty. I just said anything. OK. OK. Now be funny. So the walls would be the labia vagina or the Mons pubis turns out Mons pubis. I thought that was who led the rebellion on curisone. No it's a part of the vagina. What's a mom's pubis. It's a Mons pubis. It's a you'll see start googling you're going to learn so much. I don't want to google that. I bet you your wife is just sitting here going thanks Bobby. She acts the same way when when Max makes like a dinner on his like play dough thing go here and he goes oh that's so good but really didn't do anything. That's what a lot of men are doing. They're not pleasuring women the way they could be if you so. Greg please tell us because you Google it. You can pass on the information. There's the whole chart. Oh that's right. OK. Walk the bar solemn you gland. It's one of my favorites. I hate the word gland. I'm gonna throw up. I always ask her I go baby I'm gonna go lick that gland. Which gland you want. She was I'm glad you gland. What. Where is the bull. Oh the bow the bow. What is it the bar falling gland the bar filling gland. Both of them gland is right by the butt. That's got no you don't got to be around there. If you're in the bar off a little gland you're in the wrong neighborhood brother. Now the both of the gland is at the bottom of the piece of bacon right. The bar filling gland is imagine you're in Pennsylvania and you start seeing people with a wagon trains and you're like this is not close to the gig. This is Amish country. Right. That's where you get almond butter. Yeah. You got to make your way up to the clitters. And that's above the door. So we have the off the boss both of the gland. This is what you learned women have a clitoris. Your big takeaway. Want me to tell you I learned. Sure. So check this out. A lot of it 90% of it. Rhythm based. They love a rhythm but no science behind that because they didn't do any studies on this until 2018 which means we had a black president before people started studying making women come which I think is unbelievable. I like this music. I'm going to talk like this with a whole show. You got to go to the bar. I'm sorry you guys just made me to find I apologize. I try mama pubis. Where's mama pubis. I don't see mama. She's outlawed in a lot of the current things you have to use one of my old maps. That's how you find the goals. It's like it's like an original pirate map. Yeah. Yeah. It's been edited out because it's too powerful. I get it. I get it now. So this is the upgraded woke map. You got to go back to like the old 1960s map when people were just guessing. Right. What is it called again the mob the mob is what is it? Mons. Mons. Pubis. Mons Pubis. Where would that be on the map? I believe it's all the way up. I think all the way up like almost near the chest cavity. Here it's just really light. Well, right. The pubic area. Oh, so the pubic area is just the pubes. Yeah, you're not doing up to anything up there. I'm just saying I didn't know it existed. Oh, you didn't know the pubes was called moms pubis. No, I didn't know. Did you know that? I just know it was pubes. The pubos. You don't go up there. Do you look up there? I look everywhere, brother. I pretend I'm trying to slide her into a tight pipe. I get her all wet. It doesn't even make sense. I'll loop up that body. I'll leave out that whole body with my tongue. It's one of the funniest things I've ever said and everyone's looking down as if I embarrassed myself. I love that Christine brought up a black vagina just to make it. Is it or is it just? I don't know. That could be racist and I won't continue. Thank you. All right. So where do you now you start down at the the Baugh-Tholens gland and then where do you go from there? I go to the bladder open. Do it. I just check it out. Do it in your voice. Tell us and then I make my way over the bladder opening. I go, are you are you are you working clear? I do a little checkup. I go, this isn't sexual, but I got to know if she's clogged up at all. And then I find my way over to the outer lips. I do a little work down there. I come to open the hood. I'm going to make sure the oil is working. You know what I mean? The outer lips is the part around the vagina. There's the labia, right? Which is the lip lips. The inner lips is that what they call it, right? I'm going to give you a move right now. It's going to blow your fucking mind. Okay. I like when you talk like this. When you're going downtown, Judy Brown, do a little blow on her butthole. How do you do it? Like like you blowing out birthday candles? One candle. It's a one year old. It's a one year old. Oh, this is getting weird. You're blowing out a one year old's candy. Okay. Why's it weird? I just picture it one year old. Well, it's not, you're blowing it out like you would blow out a one year old's cake, but you're not having the sex part remains over with. Could you have said I'm blowing out a cake with one candle? Could you have said it that way? I could have definitely said that way. Okay, great. That's all I'm asking. I'm just asking that. Should I replay and say it again? No, I'm just, I know where we are now. I'm on one side, you're on the other. You know, I'm blowing out a cake with one candle and you're blowing out a one year old's cake. I want everybody at home listening right now tonight. Go down on your leg, give a little blow on the buckle. How is it? And why are you changing it now? You're going, oh, you're going. Oh, so here's the thing. That's what I'm telling you guys to do. But what I do, because this is my own secret. I go, so your machine gun. Yep. Like a dastardly wind. How do you do it? Like, like, is there a tornado coming? Yeah, there is. And then what? What? You haven't thought past this. What? What do you do? You have to go, do you do once or do you do? At two, we give you more, more outfit choices with 20 kilograms of luggage allowance as standard, more hotels built around what you love like that swim up sweet, more race you to the bottom water parks on site. More. Oh, that looks good. Food options from poolside snacks to ala cart dining, book on app in store or online. You book it to resort it at all and after protected keys and C's apply selected hotels only see website for details. Well, I like to do it every now and again. I come back down. I blow on a little bit pretend it's like one of those funny candles that won't go out. So you blow it and then you go back up and then go, oh, that thing's still going and you blow it again. Okay. Okay. So you go down first. Now do you do it first or do you do? Do you go to the first is weird for okay. I don't just go get down, baby. Which is what was that? It was a spider. There was a spider. I had to blow him away. That's what you would do. Okay. You blow a spider away. So you go over to the the Bofflin gland for home you land. But is it both of them you go in as what I call it and then you go over to the bladder opening. You do a little taste test. I don't taste. I make sure it's running and make sure everything's in order. You actually taste some. No, I taste it. Well, what are you doing? What is it taste? You say I go are you are you doing there buddy? You clogged up. You said the word taste when I hear taste. I think the sense tongue. When you say you look at I think I will have to go back to the recording. I don't think I said taste. I think you said taste. I'm pretty sure I said taste. I don't believe any of you. We could take a vote. There's five people. Did you say taste? I think you said taste. This is a real baronstein bear situation here because the past is changing. Okay. Okay. Okay. So so you go over there. You take a little taste or a look. Look see a look see and then and then do you go down and give the you know doing now is I'm looking at the beauty. I'm looking at I'm I'm I'm licking upon the usually around the clitoris and a nice rhythmic air and rhythmic way. Is there any way you could like I'm blowing on the butthole and I have both hands on her boobies and I'm checking for lumps because that's what you get when I'm going down on you because you get a whole deal. You get the whole deal when you know when you bring your cars the brakes to get checked and they go hey man I checked the oil to I checked the oil I checked the fluids right but usually you do usually to try to pull a scam just to get you to do the oil. That's exactly what I'm doing. You're doing a scam. What if you find a lump what are you going to do to stop. I run I run you run the hell out of there. You run. I run out of there. I leave my family. Well that's just terrible. I can't deal with that. Why. Why can't you help her through it. It's so sad. They can cure breast cancer now. Not if they don't know about it. Yeah but do you know about it you found out. No I ran away. I know but don't run away is what I'm saying stay and say hey FYI after I got done and doing all that stuff and you had an orgasm. I found a lump on your breast. That's the thing and this is why I like you because you know me and my brain you're my brain you're brain my brain works the same. I don't know. Both of us don't bring it. I feel like that's an insult. But yeah I love your brain but I love it over there. Let me tell you what we both did in that scenario. Yeah both came before we told her we didn't immediately go. Hey I feel a lump. We went something there. I'll save that for after the sex is done and then you bring it up have one good session. You don't want to bring it up. If you just run out of the room that she's going to be like what the hell happened and then she might never check her breast. She might not go to check for you and then it gets crazy. I'll say this you might she might not I won't know I'll be in Mexico brother name change. I'm out of here. Why are you going to Mexico. There's so many places you go to a room. You go to a nice place. They know me in a room. Do they really. Yeah I killed so hard at a room. Arrays one. They still talk about. How many times you've been back one time. I know that once you never have you back. You said you did dangerous. Too dangerous. Good for the island. It's the grand opening grand closing can't have you back again. So you okay so when you run out as you find the lump you're in you're in Mexico you can't go back to Aruba but you come back eventually to tell her that is what you said at one point. Yeah tell her what that she has a lump. No no I'm. Well you never going to tell her. I can't like I can't like sadness you know. I tell my kids to tell her but it's not that's that is the fucking meanest thing ever heard. Tell your mother. She might have something. They're going to go what do you mean what's a lump on the breast. Yeah I don't know exactly they don't know how old are your kids. I don't know 30. How old are you kids. Two and four. Do they speak. Why are you lying about this. One year. That's right. You don't know how old your kids are. No he is right. I was wrong. Yes I'm right about my own children to be fair you've lied about everything else on the podcast and I'll continue to. It's not a podcast it's a radio show so stop lying. So so why so you run down to Mexico. Yes and then you're going to call your kids to the they know how to answer the phone do they have their own. They're going to know I call my wife call your wife and she goes where have you been I go shut up. Oh really. Why are you so mean to her she has cancer. She's going so she says I listened to me if I have to talk to her for hours before I get the kid in the phone. Okay so you say shut up. Okay you know I let her leave I had to leave I leave town put one of my sons. Oh you do this. She knows you leave town. She knows every time something bad happens I run like you spill milk and you just leave. I'll tell you this tax day is the 15th. Yeah I'm out of here brother. I forgot to fucking file. I don't know if I'm going home tonight. Are you going to Mexico tonight. I might be. She told me she said did you get all your W 9s and I went yeah. You have a file. Now we're fucked. We're fucked. I'm fucked. I'm a dead man brother. But you could just bring it to like one of those places. The Mexican are you going to say. No. Why are they playing that music. Because you're in Mexico. You go to Mexico. That's true racist. Trying to assimilate you into your new habitat that you're going to be living in tomorrow. Yes. All right listen you can just bring your taxes over to HR Hutton or some shit. HR Hutton. Whatever it is. I like to go to HR Hutton. HR Hutton. We do your taxes or some shit. Hang on. Yeah she's dead. Why can't you just bring your taxes and just bring all your stuff. I could. I know. It only costs like 150 bucks right. Did you do your thing. You did yours. Of course you did your nerd. Why how did you guys become friends. I don't understand it. You have your shit sewed together and you don't. It seems like we're the exact opposite and the exact same. Yeah. How does that explain that. Well he laughs at all the things I say are funny. Everything I think is funny. He thinks is funny. Right. What about him. Both sense. Oh he doesn't think is the funniest man who's ever lived. You think he's the funniest man. Hands down the funniest man I've ever met in my life. You as well. Okay you don't have to. I appreciate it. But you don't have to throw. I don't have any feelings. You're not going to hurt my feelings. You can say that he's the hands down funniest person you've ever met. Yeah. You ever tell me some classic funny shit this guy's done. I would love to hear that. I love. This is the problem with Greg comes in hot loses energy. His blood sugar goes down and he's going to look at us at one point ago. I got nothing. And it's on me and you. So I hope. I'm going to have to pull into the pit stop or I have to put you your tires on in a couple of minutes. Just get ready for a different speed. Wow. Listen so yeah I would love to hear a couple funny things that he did. Anthony was part of the sex patrol. What sex patrol. I don't know what the sex. There were people who had policed the park in Bloomfield New Jersey looking for people have sex to shine their high beams on them. What do you mean. Well a lot of people like to have sex in their car. Okay. And then Anthony and his crew of mangy rascals would drive around the park. And they'd go sex patrol and they'd hide the people having sex. Did you really you're a sex rat. It's a sex rat. We thought it was a very funny thing to do that we would be on the sex patrol beat. Okay. This isn't like you guys didn't have outfits like jackets. No we didn't have that kind of money. We wouldn't. It's not that much money to get a jacket. You're not wrong. I mean Lou has a shirt. You can have a coat. I say we get sex patrol shirts for you guys. I'll get it up and running again. I'll see if the boys still you know blow. Well I do it. Are you taking out the fruits. Because me and my two sons would like to be there. I'm not going to listen to children for the sex patrol. You can't do they can't do a ride along. With the sex patrol. That's a show. Cops with sex patrol and it's a ride along with children. Yeah. These dirty streets looking for anybody at 17 years old trying to bang someone at their parents. Hey kids you ever see two guys go at it in a Hyundai look over to the right. They're crying. Yeah. Sex patrol and I did. You did have a Statue of Liberty mask. That's right. I think you guys would wear this is a real thing you guys you know you this is just a goof. Yeah something you and your wife started in the community. I wish I'd love to get it. I'd love to get into something like that. But no we had a lot of masks at one point. Why why did you why did you wear a mask. I don't know Bobby. A lot of it's a bit of a fog. What kind of mask did you wear. We definitely had a Statue of Liberty mask. Dennis Rodman. Dennis Rodman. That's right. Oh that's frightening. It was horrifying. Well is it is a terrible thing that we did which we thought was a hilarious prank. One of our friends was. I think it's a crime actually. One of our friends was getting money out of an ATM and we thought it'd be so funny. I would we go pretend like we're robbing her from behind. This is a woman alone. It's her. Yeah. This is a woman alone. I'm going to tell you right now. Fucking hilarious. That is if it was a guy but not so funny that is a girl who's probably frightened anyways. Hilarious. You're a woman alone getting money out of an ATM. A couple guys behind her and a Dennis Rodman and Statue of Liberty mask going give us your money. She runs away horrifying and we thought was funny as we were both going to the same party. So then we showed up like 20 minutes. She's shaking on a couch. We're like what happened. Sorry. I did. Boy my sensibilities changed over time. Yeah. If you don't say just kidding it's me then it was exactly what you thought it was. Exactly. Yeah. It would have been real funny if you showed up at the party with a mask on. Now did you told her of course. Yeah we told her. Did you. We told her. No we did tell her we didn't tell her like immediately because we're like hold on to this. Yeah hold on to this fucking awesome. She's she's shivering. And we're like good news. It wasn't. It was your friends. Actually. Yeah. Yeah. Didn't you and I find someone's like VHS like video camera and then like record ourselves in a 50-yard dash and was like over their high school graduation. Yeah that was a that was a. Yeah that wasn't a great move. It was somebody was somebody's high school graduation. Yeah. Now we're making like a like some kind of movie or sketch and we were like they don't need this piece of shit. It was their graduation and then it's just a Greg and I stupid movie. We watched again. I don't think we did. I think we left the tape there. Yeah. I wonder if she ever looked at it like oh I'm going to hey I want to show my child my high school graduation and then it's just a 16 year old Anthony and Greg doing sex patrol retakes. Yeah that's why we probably should have drank in high school. Yeah. You guys need a show. You need to get all this creativity out because it's bottled up inside you especially you. You need to get it out. We need to get you a show. You think we should just get a show. Yeah I think about that. Yeah. I'm saying this. Yes. I said we just do one about it. What was the what was the mall. What was the prank at the mall. Oh one of my classic favorites of you. Well I was there both there. We both got dressed up. How long you guys been friends. About six months. Six months. Did you say. Anthony how long have you been friends since high school. Thank you. Jesus Christ. Blood sugar dropped. Ten minutes ago he went. Since high school. It was shot out of his face. And we tried to lick my pussy. You should have seen. You should have to go back to before Greg came in the building. There's a bunch of people at the lobby and Greg was so manic and he was just shaking the glass doors. The people inside must have been like oh we're going to die. That was the Wu Tang clan. Yeah. He put fear into the hearts of the Wu Tang clan. That's what Jay calls it when there's ever like six or more black guys in the lobby. Just calls it Wu Tang. Which is pretty much every day here it's here. This place is turning into an improv. All right so tell me what happened the best. Yeah we've been friends since high school. And I'm trying to there was a prank at them. What was it at the mall. That's what I was trying to get. So what we did was this is pre phones and people doing bits is pre. This is pre jackass pre all that you guys started it. We had a little camera and Anthony and I got dressed. We said let's go to Macy's and dress like we work there and we'll just help customers. And then we went to Macy's and I started reorganizing the comforters. Anthony jumps behind the register. He looks the lady. He goes hey you can go on break. And then he just like smacking the keys and like trying to take customers. I was telling people to take their break. Yeah and then I swear to God. You guys filming this. Yeah. Oh good. But the cameraman was like so nervous he would turn the camera away. This so the camera was our friend Darren and we were trying to hide the camera but we didn't we didn't think of anything through ahead of time. So one of us had a windbreaker. So he wrapped the camera around this windbreaker and he just he looked so odd because he just was like a normal looking guy. Then he had this green windbreaker that he was pointing around. He looked like an active shooter. I know. Yeah. He's an active shooter. Yeah. Yeah. And then we went to remember this. It's so funny. We all had the same bit and you were you going to get it out. I was going to say and then Greg shot an active shooter and they looked at all this. I got it. That's mine. That's a Greg one. It's yours. If you're putting the points up Lou that's a Greg one. Yeah. Can we count the points? Greg has 75. You win. Have some more coffee. You don't. Will you stop your order. You don't have it. Pro order. You don't have attention. I have it. I just found out that I have ADHD. Just found out. All right. I found out a couple of years ago. You found out when I found out when I was failing through high school. I could have told you they didn't have that in high school. I just I literally found out I have adult ADHD and I've been white knuckling my dumb life. I'm gonna start taking some 99% of convenience. Yeah. Take it. It's great. Do you take it? Oh yeah. What do you take? Well, I'm going to go back to this story. I was that what's happening right now. How many did you take today? Oh, I take them all. Did you take a bottle? I go I do the bottle for the month. You know, like I give you a month. I take it one day and I just let it and I just ride it out. Like you just you take it all in one day. Yeah. Like you put all the food down for your cat and he'll just have enough. I put that but my belly. So something like 600 milligrams of Adderall. I just I just go like today was an Adderall day. Today was the day you took seconds. Thursday ain't shit getting done, brother. I'll be in the bed crying. I call it wet blanket Greg. It's like I got a wet blanket and I can't move. Your wife comes in the room but what's gonna happen with my Bartholomew gland? Is no one gonna lick it? Oh yeah. You can get a vibrator at CVS now guys. You know that? That's been for a long time. Wild. Yeah, I know that. You know what I used to use before that? I've said this before. Electric toothbrush. If you bought one of those little electric toothbrushes and you put a little like a baggy over the end. A baggy. Yeah, you don't have to. And you because you you want to use the toothbrush you want to just throw it out. You put a little bit great on the clitoris. Let me tell you if you're ever in a jam. And I am. If you're in a jam on the road and you need the vibrator on your road. Yeah, if you need to make your woman come in prison. That's why he's the funniest motherfucker out here. Give one give one to Anthony. Put a big one up. Let me tell you this. Yeah, what you do is you take the toothbrush and then you put it on the bottom of your throat like one of those people who's like how are you knowing. And then you eat your go down on your lady and it makes your whole mouth vibrate. You electrify your own jaw. But why? Have you never done that? No, I've never. Of course I've never done that. Why would I do that? You call the trap jaw. You make it. They don't call it the trap. I do. Or you just did. You just made that up. That's not the thing. You say sure. You don't call. What's anything? Well, I mean certain things have names for reasons. They come up with it. Look up trap jaw. I mean, it's not. Can I ask you? It's going to be a disease. It'll show it. It's not going to show it. Please don't make Christine look up trap jaw. It's not going to come up. Also, feel free to disregard everything I say. No, don't do it. Actually go with everything he says. Listen, so you put the two you put electrocutioners on the bottom of your jaw. See, yeah, not the trap jaw from He-Man. Yeah, one of my favorites. I sort of just wanted to watch the new He-Man trailer. Take that off because he'll look at his 80s. Look this way. Kind of rain of men. Great. Look this way. That's my way. Don't show Greg any TV. That's my way. Stop looking at that. We just look at the TV. I'm very excited about the new He-Man movie. Yeah, we were talking about that the other day. We had to go back to what the thing Anthony did that we 8080'd write the hell out. You took us to trap jaw and then He-Man. It's not us. Well, I'm going back. Okay, we'll go back. We took our top of the rest stop. Let's get back on my highway. Where were we? We were at the mall. At the mall. Okay. When you did one of the funniest things. So we were doing that at Macy's. Then we went to the Dippin' Dots ice cream of the future stand and you walked up to the, there was one person there and you went, I'm from corporate here to help with sales. And the guy went, what? And then he just started scooping ice cream and look at people going, he's not rapping. He was like, it's ice cream of the future, y'all. It's ice cream. People were like, this guy's like, fuck it man. Do whatever you want. He doesn't let him do it. Yeah, they were just like, well, he's from corporate. I mean, not for nothing. You do have corporate energy. Put it to use. Yeah. Then we went to, you guys just have a lot of fun. Oh, we really did. Yeah. This sounds like a blast. Oh, remember we made a woman sign up for the three way? Oh, yeah. This was great. You are a TG. Our sexual period, which I never left. I said, I saw him stand for the rest of my life. So here's what we did for the three way. We went to a TGI Fridays and we just would approach women and we would say, listen, whatever you want, we would, if you would like to be a three way, we would offer it. Now I get it. We're not great to look at. We have a sign up sheet over there. Feel free to sign up sheet. Feel free to sign up. But here's what we offer. Continental breakfast. Natalie Merchant. Natalie Merchant, 10,000 Mays acts. We will play 10,000 Mays acts. Natalie Merchant. I'm in. Yeah. It's a great deal. I'm getting your Christians in too. Are you in? All the time you needed? Does this offer still stand? Yeah, it's always up. I think the sign up sheet's still there. We will make you laugh. We will make you cry. We will make you want a little more. Anyway, we did approach a few people and they were all laughing so hard. People signed up. People signed up. But did you ever do the three way? No, we checked in down very hard. That's what was great. There were people our age just having three ways. And we were like, wouldn't that be hilarious? So you guys, you came up with a business plan? Yeah, we did come up with a business plan. It was a good pitch. Yeah, the three way sign up sheet. Is any of this on video? No, it's on our head. Head to the head video. You didn't videotape. If you know if you videotaped any of this stuff, you guys would be huge stars right now. Let me tell you this. When you watch the Nades on Video, what happens next? I'll tell you, don't answer. It goes to your memory. I need a tissue. You're making boogers come out. You go so fast. My nose is running. You watch the thing on video. Then it goes to your memory. We cut out the middleman. We just tell you and then that goes right to your memory. No need to see the video. But if you have, my point is this, you're seeing it live from our mouth. I agree with you. But if you videotaped this and you had it on video with the way the world is now, these videos would be viral and people would be like, oh my God, these guys have to do more. And then you guys, as you look now, which I'm pretty sure is pretty similar to what you look back then. I'm sure you guys didn't have any growth spurts and you guys could go do more stuff. You'd be like famous now. Like Jack asked videotaped it. Yeah. Right. Jay Paul videotaped all these things. You, the guys from Impractical Jokers did all the videos. If you had this on video, we could have something here. Yeah. Okay. Good guys. We didn't have cases. We didn't have the camera. I had a camera. I'm just sad. I know. DVM video. What kind of sets? Those were the little guys. The little tiny guys. Yeah. Right. And then you will be, you will be for your time. That's it. Yeah. And then people didn't want to put us on TV because they're because of the woke, the woke media. That's not, that's not 2004. That's, I'm sorry. 2004 woke media would not have us on. I do not think woke started in 2004. I'm pretty sure. It was. No, I don't think so. We were the cutting edge of being canceled for wokeness. No, I'm pretty sure. I was on opening anything anytime Howard Stern was Howard Stern. I'm pretty sure it was not because back then woke was woke was the opposite of what you guys were doing. No, it was we were too nice. The woke was like these guys are two not racists and two kind. Right. Okay. And that was where bag of dick days. Remember everyone said to bag of dick. I beg a dick bag of AIDS. Everyone in 2001 to 2006 love to say the word bag of dick bag of AIDS. I never heard that. I didn't know that. I think people were just mean mean to you. Yeah, they were. They were just calling you a bag of dicks and a bag of AIDS. Yeah, that wasn't a good time for my life. It's all right. But I'm back. What if we start my wife again? What? Let's let's let's not go backwards. Let's not go backwards. I call it crazy things. Okay. What like what? Deborah Deborah. That's her name. I know. What's her name? Her name is some Asian shit. I like what? Ping-Pang. Oh my God. What are you doing here? What are you doing, Greg? What are you doing? You can't be this guy anymore. You see a color ping-Pang. I know. Her name's not ping-Pang. And it's not. That's not even close to Ty. My wife is Ty. Yeah. But I'm afraid to give her name on the radio because people are going to look her up and masturbate to her photos on Google. Is she hot, right? Oh, she's hot as hell. Yeah. Ty, that's so good. Yeah. Awesome. My wife, Titties, are so big. She, her Titties enter the door before her body does. It's like. Those don't seem like good titties. Dead long. She doesn't know how to walk. Okay. No, my wife's a great woman. Yeah, okay, we get that. Yeah, but she's got big titties. Not really. Okay. All right. I don't know what to take here. I mean. It's all for Anthony. All of this is to make Anthony laugh. Oh, well, you make a mission accomplish. And Christine too. I don't look because when she laughs, I feel like it's a big one. Yeah. But I don't look because I'm clocking them. You can hear when you're seeing those. I'm clocking the Christine ones. Right. Do you want Wayne now? I should have said that. Buddy, what the hell? What the fuck is happening, brother? You just screamed out a random question. Buddy, listen to me. Look at me. Greg. It's quite a look. Greg. Greg. You're good, man. It's good. What the fuck is happening? What were we talking about? Scams? No, we were talking about the size of your wife's boobs. Why was I talking about my wife? Because you brought up our tits. You said you had sex again. You have tits and your tits are huge. They go out of the door before she gets there. And then I said, are they big? And you said, no, they're not that big. And then you said, you live in Wayne. And then that was it. I can't tell people. Yeah, they went back. What? I can't give out people's addresses. I can't hear you. What? I can't give out people's addresses. It's not the address. It's actually just the town. People will look. They'll go and they'll go here. Where is she? I don't think they're going to go street by street. No, you just clock every Starbucks because eventually everyone gets Starbucks. Well, you're right. Christine, you want to find Christine. You go to the Starbucks at any point of the day. She might be there. But again, she mostly has it delivered. So you'd have to follow the guy to the house. I'll say this though. My wife's parents live in Wayne. I've been in Wayne like 80% of the time. You just said it. You just said it. That is just weird. I'm sorry. Why would you tell me that? What's going on? Can someone? They just told everyone where your wife's parents live. Yeah. I mean, what are you doing? They're fast as hell. Look at the way. Because they're tied. They're tied. You know, you know, it's wife's parents ping pong and boop, boop. Yeah. Very close to robots. Dope, dope, and forth. What? That got racist. I was trying to do a robot one that did a fucking crazy Asian one. My God, Pumpty, put a bullet in my head. You just were full racist. Never seen a comedian try to make a right wing pivot, but can't do it. So great. God damn it, Greg. I love him so much. It makes me so happy. Look at, he's fading though. Look at his stare at your hand. No, it's just, I'm just thinking about what would my wife say if she heard about any of this? She's not going to hear any of this. She never does. No, she's not. She follows my career. I could give it to her. Good, so ahead. Good. What's your opinion? She'll laugh. Yeah, my wife doesn't. She's got my son. He's so crazy. My wife doesn't watch anything I do. It's the best. It's the best. I love it. That is nice. I don't think my wife thinks I'm talented. Same. Yeah. I think you're talented. She doesn't even ask me how my sets are. Like, how was it that I, she just says hi. I just did four shows at the salon. Nothing. You don't want to know any? Nope. Just give me that money. Do you get this one? What? My wife has the kids, right? She has the kids. I get home off the road and she's like, take the kids. I go, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. And it's like, I was like, honey, I was just on the road all weekend. And she was like, yeah, I was with the kids as if what I'm doing, I was just a vacation. Buddy, let me just say something to you. Yeah. Unless you're Chappelle, you worked an hour. 40 minutes. No, I'm featuring. 25. All right, 25. Sometimes hosting. 15. So you're in the room, you go get breakfast. You go get breakfast and then you go back and nap and then you watch TV and then all day and then you'll get lunch and then you go back and take another nap after lunch. And then you go to the show, what, around seven and then you do 25 minutes and then you're done. No, I'm sitting there missing my wife the whole time and that's a lot of energy. I'm thinking about missing my children. I'm masturbating like a guy who's going to prison. Because they know they won't let you masturbate in prison. I'm heard. I've heard. You can masturbate in prison. That's the main thing you can do. That's actually the preferred choice. You don't want to do the other thing in prison. What's prison in your head? What's prison in my head? Well, it's my wife. It's my marriage. I thought you loved your marriage. I thought you loved your life. Yeah, but it's a prison. It's a nice prison. Okay. It's not a prison. You love being married. You love having kids. Oh, of course. Yeah. But that's not funny. You know what's funny? I'm almost racist bits about your wife because you know she'll never hear it. What's your name again? I don't know. Shing. Shing? Shing-Shing? My wife has the same name as this dance group that comes from China. I know he's going to... Wait. BTS? Shing-Shing? What is Korean? Shing-Shing? Not Shing-Shing. Shing-Shing? If I was married to Shing-Shing, I would love... He's the funniest guy in town. Does she have an accent? Does she have an accent in China? In Beijing? Yeah. Shing-Shing? My wife has an accent, but it's a gay accent, which she adopted through her gay friends. Your wife taught... What does it mean she taught gay? How does she sound, Greg? Go ahead. Athena? Yeah. Oh my God, Greg. What are you doing with that? Get out of here, you bad boy. Why do you sound like a gay man? This is who I am now. Your wife is a gay man? Yeah, she's a woman who identifies as a gay man. For fun. She's the opposite of Jacob. Yes. You're not married, right? Yes. Oh, you're married? And is your wife like Greg's wife? No, she's much more Asian. Did you marry? No. Yeah, yeah. What is your wife, Italian? She's Italian-Jewish. Not woof. Yeah, she's a lot. Trouble. No, she is. I mean, woof. I love her, but it's a lot. She can half cook? Yeah, that's actually a... Do they get along? Do your wives get along? Yes. Oh, they do? Yeah. Oh, shit. Of course they do. Yeah. Yeah, Julie, she can be a lot, but you know, once you get into her, you're like, okay. His wife can be a lot. No. Oh, your wife can be a lot. Greg's wife is so easy. Okay. Yeah, well, she has to be. You can't have two a lot in the house. Yeah, it's very much the opposite. The kids will die. Get on wrong. Get on wrong. Give me a point. Yeah, put him on the board. My wife is a lot. It's a very... Where's Greg? You know, Greg's sought someone out who is more like me. I sought someone out who's more like Greg. We both got people that are us that we want to have sex with. So basically you married Greg and she married you. Yes. Okay, I got it. That works. My wife is exactly like Anthony. She doesn't answer my calls. My wife is just like Greg. Really? She's... I don't think I've ever talked in our relationship. All right, listen. I'm so happy you guys came in. Thanks for coming in. Is it over? No, it's not. We got to take a break though. This is radio. This is podcast. This is actually radio. That was a fast hour. Holy God. He's awesome. Greg Stone. He's got a new podcast all about toys and all nerds need things called Yo Greg is available at youtube.com slash Greg Stone comedy. Literally one of my favorite people in this business and one of the funniest guys in the business too. And then of course, what is this? We have... Greg has a new special. Nobody... Oh no, read the one before that. That's more important. Every Monday. Greg has a show every Monday night at the Dojo of Comedy in New Jersey. Use promo code StoneZone for deep discounts. And you have a new special out called Nobody Presents Greg. Three years old. Yeah. Okay. Well, you know what? I love it. I watched it. It was very funny. Hilarious. Do you still do the music thing? What was that called? Oh yeah, Night Cream. We're creaming it up. Night Cream. I love Night Cream. 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I love it. So make sure you get your tickets. It's going to sell out, so don't miss out. SkankfestX, New Orleans. Skankfest.com.