Stavros Halkias Returns

Being an adult sucks. Adults, they have to work all day. When adults get mail, it always builds and builds suck. Sure, but we've got a driver's license. Enjoy 4.9% APR representative with up to 4 years free servicing on the Alpine A290 Plus range at your Alpine store. PCP mobile life financial services order between the 6th and 23rd of February, 2026. TSD's apply, visit alpine-carz.co.uk for more information. Wave. It used to be when a young, like when a young hot woman would date an older accomplished man, it was like a professor, a lawyer, like a captain of industry. Someone she could learn something from. And like I'm dating women, young, you know what I mean? I'm like, yeah, George Clooney was actually Batman. I don't know if you knew that. Like, that's what I'm teaching her about. Stop. Hell yeah. What's going on, brother? Not much, dude. Nice to be here. World headquarters. It's a we're move. We're leveling up. I love this. We have a lot left to do. Yeah, obviously you're shitting against a plain blue wall. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. That's not going to work, right? That's going to need to be fixed. What are we thinking? Well, I got a lot of ideas, but one thing I was thinking is kind of doing like a, what we want to do is kind of like a cluttered like collagey wall of like a little thing. You know how a tiny desk has people like leaf stuff behind. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I want to have something from Stavvy up there. Oh, okay. And every guest, I want to be the first one. Yeah, you'll be the first one. Am I the first one who's, no. Who's the recording here? Yeah, yeah. No, we've had a couple others talk. Well, and we've been recording here for a while, but we're finally getting our shit together about like trying to make it an actual studio. I love it. Has there ever been a bobblehead or a doll made of you? No. I think a chubby little Stavvy bobblehead. Yeah, I mean. I was a gunna be offended. That's immediately what you jumped to, but I am made for a bobblehead. You just look huge. You just look huge. You look huge. Yeah, a little apple cheeks. Little smile. I would be a great bobblehead. Come on. Yeah, you're right. You're right. You're right. But I will make it. I will sell it. You don't get to sell my bobblehead. Oh, no, I'll sell it. No, I'll be selling it. No. No. No. I'll have your name, image, and likeness. When you walk through those doors, it's a silent contract. Anybody who walks into the So Trudeo? Yeah. When you agree on a lunch order, it's like, that's understood. Once you accept us as she, when you accept some Sam and Sashimi, you are also accepting the order. Just a third and you're like, like, do an exercise this new thing where you have to sign? Yeah, put your thumb pretty. You have like an old iPad that takes the thumb print. Like put that there. That's legally binding. Yeah, hold on. I move an iPad around you and do a scan of your face. Try it with your eyes. Try it with your eyes. Look up. Dip your face in this clay mold. It's part of the lunch order. Just do it. Don't worry about it. Anything for such a good teriyaki boss. Oh, shit. You're gonna slick in this little slump, too, my friend. It is track suit season, of course. Of course. I had to get, you know, my philosophy for fact, I fashion. So once the equinox happens, once the clocks turn back, it's now officially track suit season. It's not Hawaiian shirt season. Yeah. It's sort of like fact, I fashion to me. It's like rainy season and tropical climates. It's either the rainy season or the dry season. It's either Hawaiian shirts or it's track suits. And we are firmly in track suit season right now. Yeah. I know we don't share that. That's not really a Midwestern fact, I think. Yeah, track suits are, I feel very East Coast, fact guy coated. Yeah. It would feel like stealing valor. Yeah. If I were being true to my roots, I guess it would be cover all season. Yeah. Like that with a thermal underneath cover all season. I don't feel any, I will steal Midwestern fat valor, no problem. Yeah. I'll get, I'll even steal, you know, a northern. I think that's the thing. We are lucky in the East Coast where the track suit, it is where, it is kind of like our thing, but I'll slip into it. I'll slip into a flannel, no problem. Dude, I would love to steal. I would love to steal. I would love to steal. Well, you look great in a quarter. Thank you. I'd love to steal Baltimore fat guy, Valor. I just, I'm not nearly scummy enough. Like I don't. There isn't inherent wholesomeness to you. You know, that would look fucked up. It would look like you, it would look like you're doing a sopranos costume. Yeah, it would look Halloween. Yeah. If I tried to do that. If I tried to do that. Yeah. I just can't, like I mentally can't even, I'm an actor, I'm a creative, but like, I mentally can't imagine that like my third DUI is giving my lawyer a problem. Yes. Yes. A child custody court. Like I don't have that like. No. And those are your limitations as an actor, I hate to say. Yes. If you were a better actor, you could pull it off. I'm not. That's the problem. I wish I had range. I don't. I don't have range. I just don't have it in me. That's all right. One day you'll get there. Yeah. There's just something in your eyes, you're two, there's, there's a kindness that you have that you're going to have that's going to have to be beaten out of you. Yeah. You really make the tracksuit work. Okay. You know, what do you think that's going to take? Like how do I? Heartbreak. An inevitable heartbreak. I think it's going to happen to you. I think you love too much. And I think someone's going to let you down in a major way. I think you're just too nice a guy. I got great news. Hey, buddy. Good news. I've got to take the close friends. Yeah, I'm missing something. Text me before you come on the show. I know I went through chains on the booking. You shoot me a text before you come on the show. Yeah. Just the world beating you down. I mean, we're all, you know, I feel great. I was thinking this, I'm like a husk of myself. Are you? Yeah, I mean, you know, your hopes and dreams have been, I mean, I've gone good, but I mean, you achieve things and you're like, oh, that's not going to make you happy. The things you missed out on in your mid 20s, you never get those back. You know, what did you, what's haunting you? I don't know. Be honest with me, what's haunting you? Is it hard to hear you say you're a husk of yourself when you're sort of like a handsome millionaire? Sure. I just, I never saw much. We were starting with so much. You know what I mean? I'm a beautiful, I saw you. I just saw you in the most recent thing I saw you in my phone was a clip of you sitting next to Emma Stone being like, I don't really know how I got here, guys. Maybe ask him a question. Yeah, yeah. That was funny. He did the moderator at a Bagoña Q&A started with me and I was like, can't you, this is bad. I was like, I don't want to tie it to your job, but start with Emma Stone. Yeah. I was like, I'm the last guy. I'm the fun little, I'm the fun guy for, you know, just a little color on the way out. They brought me along to spice up the in between takes. Of course. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's what I'm here for. No, I don't know. I think that's what life is. It's a every year, something happens to you that like a, someone's speakable tragedy happens every like three years to everyone. I mean, the world is bad. Somebody dies that doesn't deserve it. You know, heartbreak, whatever you like, you realize you're never really going to understand certain family members and that's okay. And certain things that would make you, like shit that would happen when I was 19. If like, realizations that if I had had when I was 19, I would weep for days. Now I'm like, this is going to make this, uh, still own movie a little more annoying to watch. Like, you know what I mean? Like, I'm just, once you've been through horrific shit, you're like, whatever. Life sucks dick, but it's will make the best of it. Well, you're, you have, uh, it's resilience. If you're developed, I have a positive side. Yes. And you don't expect much. That's the thing. You don't expect much than whatever you get is awesome. Yeah. That's kind of how I look at it. There's a really funny Marin bit in one of his specials that we loved in college where he, with Chant and I and our buddies, he came out with a notebook for his special. And he was like, yeah, I came out with a notebook because like, you know, if I didn't really prepare for this, you know, if I, he says something on the lines like, if I, if I don't prepare and it's awesome, then that's amazing. I am cheering for long production day, you know that there will be milkshakes at that city city city city city city city city city city city city city city city city city city city What do you think that's? What do you think that's doing for people right now? I think people don't understand that you're in for a long production day. Yeah. You know that there will be milkshakes after. Like right behind here there's two coffee kool-a-tas. There's an emergency. In a big 64 ounce. Emergency shakeshack back here. I start fucking convulsing. Like put a piece of candy bacon in his mouth fast. God. You were at the snacking bacon from Duncan. I have had some. Yeah. I was a Duncan guy. When I was a paralegal, there was a Duncan Donuts. What? Yeah, yeah, yeah. I did. I don't think I knew this. Yes. I wasn't. I wasn't. I lied to get the job. I hadn't actually graduated college. And I was just trying to save money for moving to New York. There was a Duncan Donuts. My two scummyest jobs. There was a Duncan Donuts as a paralegal across the street. I had, you know, four breakfast sandwiches every day with like, you know, I was like, it seemed like I was ordering for the office every time I was in there. Yeah. Just late. Yeah. Just fully. It's 915. And I'm at the back of the drive through line, you know, and, and, and then I was a telemarketer in high school. There was a Wendy's next door. And I fucked up. I mean, I was eating junior bacon cheeseburgers like they were pigs in the blanket. Dude, I'm taking down, I'm taking down 20,000 spicy chicken nuggets for Wendy's. Yes. With their like horrible cupped reins. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Every time I see one. Mm-hmm. I'm with you on that. A frosty no problem. I love it. It's the best. I really love it. It's the best, it's the best like after dinner. It's like a, a pair of teeth as far as I'm concerned. Oh, yeah. Well, you're a man of class and takes. I've always said that about you. Thank you so much. What, uh, I was thinking about 2026. 2025 winding down. It is. 2026. What do you think 2025 was about for you and what is 2026? What are we thinking about the year changing right now? 2025 was just, uh, again, me sort of, uh, uh, sort of giving up and losing to the world like, uh, completely letting my boundaries get purchased. What happened? What happened? It sounds fake because I'm, I'm complaining about just like incredible opportunities. But I had like this thing where I was like, dude, I don't know. Show business can suck my dick. I'm a person. I'm going to take time for myself. And then I was just like, yeah, I'll just do whatever you say, Mr. Show business. Oh, fucking. I'll go, I'll do everything. I won't be a healthy person. I'll, I thought this was, I mean, every year's the year I'm like, I'm going to put it together. I'm going to get mentally healthy, physically healthy. I'm going to reconnect with everyone and I've just been busy as far. I mean, it's just like, it's so boring because I'm like, I got to be in an awesome movie and I got to do press for it and I got to, uh, shoot, just shoot different stuff. Like I just have been, I just like, just so hard of being such a hot commodity. You know, something, you know, I'm sure soon you'll understand, Caleb, I'm sure, you know, you're getting there. I think eventually nothing. I'll try. I see a little movement, but not quite. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm trying to get you. Um, but yeah, just like, I really, I really pride myself on being the, like, I told you this, I was just of how you'll just disappear to Europe or whatever, right? You just like, find yourself what I eat, pray, love or whatever. And I wish I just would have just left for like two months or, and just like gone for a long time. And just like gone degrees. I said I was going to go to Greece for two months. I went for like three days between my London tour dates and my Dublin. I remember this. Yeah. Yeah. So whatever. I'm just, I'm literally like, my goals are to be less successful and be unemployed more basically. That's what I'm looking forward to for 2026. It's not looking good, unfortunately. Yeah. I'm busy until like July, but really we'll get there. Yeah. You need to start saying now. You really need to do. Just say no. I say no. And you, you would be, the things I say no to that I'm like, I purely just can't do something that week. It doesn't, like you have to start saying no, because I know exactly what you mean. You're kidding about like, oh, I'm so busy. I'm so successful. Yeah, yeah. But it's like no actual. No, you were kidding. No, I'm actually kind of crazy. Yeah. The stuff I turned down is kind of insane. But yeah, go ahead. Just say no. Yeah. Just say no. Take some time off, dude. I will. I will. I will. I probably will. What are you working for? What are you running from? What are you running from? That's a good question. What am I running from? I mean, yeah, I don't want to be alone with my thoughts for even one second. I don't want to think about that question for even a moment. Yeah. Get that away from me. Yeah. Michelle, shout out, Queen. Yes. What's up? Oh, Michelle with the coffee order. Come on. Huge. Huge, huge win. Because I fully thought this was a half hour later than it is. Yeah, you walked in and screamed at Michelle and said, where the fuck is that? Thank you. Thank you so much. Appreciate it. Yeah, this will be, this is huge for me, a little coffee duch. But yeah, I don't know, man. The general stuff. What are we all, what are we all running from, Caleb? You're energy this episode is one of my favorite ways I've ever seen you. Oh, yeah. Being like, being like, yeah, once you get the life beaten out of your eyes, have your fucking heart broken. What, what do you think we're all running from? 2025 was the year I got fucked and said, okay, thanks. Thank you, sir, man. Have another. Please, sir, another. Yeah. I don't know. Yeah, maybe you're catching me a very introspective point where I'm like, fuck. The end of the year. End of the year. It is an end of the year situation. Do you know what you need to do? What's that? This is my prescription for you. Please. Okay. First of all, say, notice some stuff. Go away, relax. Sure. Perhaps we go somewhere together. We're gonna love it. I love it. We talked about this. We talked about that. We talked about that. Getting a cat and a dog and a toad shit. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Right in a little double-bicycle. Yes, yes, yes. On a bike. That's where we get the corduroy going. Baguettes out of the basket and shit. Come on. That's one thing we need to do. We need to go away. And then I know you might not want to hear this. I think you need to be faithful to a beautiful woman. I think you need to be faithful to a beautiful woman by the family at home. I would actually like that. What am I running from? It's that. I'm like, you see the fucking, I look in the future and it's like, man, that bald comedian trying to get pussy from 25-year-olds. It's not a cool guy to be well into your 40s. No. I don't need that. And I'm like, and however, that doesn't sound that bad. At the same time, it doesn't sound that bad. So I'm fighting, I'm fighting the like urge to just have a completely, like, like, no, like, that's a life that's purely on my, what do you call it? Like a hedonistic, I could live a very hedonistic lifestyle. Some might argue I do right now. Yeah. And I don't want to keep that going forever. And I do want something, something with more depth, something that actually matters. My brother had a kid which has been fucking, like, just watching my mom with my nephew is like, this cutest shit of all time. I'm like, fuck, I'm really going to let this woman down by not giving her one of these. Yeah. You know, and now I'm like, maybe I'll just fucking knock somebody up. You know, now I'm thinking like, well, I'm doing pretty good. Maybe I could just have a kid. My mom could have a, you know what I mean? Like, grand kid that's not really brought in the world with that much love. It's more like a convenience thing. But I probably won't do that. I went on a date with a guy the other night and he was telling me he was like, oh, yeah, I have this, this lunch tomorrow with this woman. And I was like, you have a lunch tomorrow with this woman. What are we talking about? And he goes, well, I got hit up by this company. He's a doctor. Yeah. And yeah, yeah, of course. And he was like, I gotta be doctors now. They do. Yeah, that's like filler or whatever. No, he's. I get really mad. No, stop. We can do anything. That's where finally gets you after beating you for the first 20 minutes. That's what gets you. No, stop. Okay, guys, can. No, he's the guy hit up by this company that once this, there's, there's these women in New York that are single like business ladies that are fed up with waiting on a man to get his money. So they want to get their seeking gaming. And what they do is they have you sign a contract. It's like, you can only give me your sperm. You can't give it to any other women. And I'll pay you. You can't step on the package. No, no, no. I'm cut. And I think the price was like 15 or 20,000 for this firm. Nice. And then she's like, once a year, there's like a contract. Once a year, she'll send an update on the kid. Once a year, he'll send an update on his health. If anything has come up, like if you're, when you turn 40, if you get like, or something, they want to know, holy shit. And it's like a whole contract deal. Wow. That's, I mean, that's, you want to talk about dystopian. Crazy. We're talking like the girl bosses and gay guys just being like, yeah, fuck it. We don't need, we don't need, it's like, how about you just both have families? What are we doing here? We've got spreadsheets on whether you have cancer or not to your kid. You get a postcard of your fucking DNA once a year. That's not. It's beautiful. Yeah, that's, that's it. The advice you gave me, you should give to them. To them, settle down. By the way, how mad do you think, how mad would those women be if I show up to one of those lunches? Well, like I hit some tall gay guy fucking two picking out of your mouth. Hey, you know, we could save a lot of bucks. We do this the old fashioned way. I got 12 minutes right now, sister. What do you say? You ever seen Pugonia? I'll give you half off the cheese if we do it old fashioned. You know, sometimes you order food, it's cheaper to pick up instead of deliver. That's my deal. Hey, you got any girlfriends, I'll do you half off as well. I'll do for one deal as well. Like, with 555 deal, dominoes. I do that for my load. Winter photographer set up a studio session and people come in 20 minute rounds for cheaper headshots, slash tattooing bitches. Yeah, I think we can work that out. Yeah, that'd be beautiful. That is interesting though. Yeah, I know. But you're right. You're ultimately correct. And I think that's the one thing that's, because the thing is like, once you start, the odds of getting successful in like shit like this is just so low. But once you're here, it's like you get the shot and you can keep doing it. That's kind of easy, right? What's hard is to just be a human being and like connect with a person and want to build a life with him. And that's to answer your question, that is what I'm running from, I think. 100% but here's the problem. You meet someone and they're great and it's like, I could totally, we could totally put in the work here and build a life together. But every time something goes wrong, there's this nagging voice in your head that's like, there are a hundred people in my phone right now. Yeah, absolutely. Yeah, I think that's one of them. Yeah. Or who want to go on a date? Sure. It's this like the insidiousness of the app specifically is like, there's always another option. Yeah. I think true. Yeah. That's my problem in general, too. It's like, I love quitting. Yeah. Quitting is the best thing of all. The relief of quitting anything. It's the best. Let alone a relationship. Yeah. Relationship. The best thing that quit ever. Oh my god, I don't have to text any of these. Yeah, this is over. I don't have to care about another person. You know what I mean? Yeah. And you're sad about it, too. But it's like, and that is clearly like the most psychological should have all, you know, just like a loved one being a, like I couldn't until like a year ago, I couldn't even intellectually fathom someone you love not being a burden. Yeah. You know what I mean? Okay. People are like, hey, that's actually good. Like you want to love someone who also loves you. They can make your life better. My therapist said that I was like, whoa. Your family can make your life better. I know that. I would kill to be in your therapy sessions. Your therapist being like, love can be good. And you being like, hold on. Wait a second. What? What? That's so fucking funny. I know it's pathetic that that was like a, of like, whoa, moment for me. Yeah. You know, it was. That's not pathetic. It's beautiful. Thank you. I appreciate it. I'm not in therapy. I very clearly need to be. Wow. That's become a parent of me. Yeah. You know what I mean? Being like, no, I don't need therapy. Everything about you as a guy who goes to therapy. No. What do you mean by that? You know, you're like in touch with your emotions. You have a lot of friends. You keep up with that. You know what I mean? You're a caring guy. Yeah. No therapy is fascinating. I need to go back to therapy. I always kind of like that. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I really wanted someone cheering on me. Don't hold me accountable. Right. We cheering for that. Where cheering for that. Yeah, I thought you said that you were cheering for that. Shut the fuck off. Yeah, exactly. What are you cheering for that? I just told my therapist the live been workshopping for my friends. And he's like, that's not what happened. I remember and I was like, fuck, fuck. And I was like, oh yeah, I guess I slipped my mind. The live been workshopping for my friends. Yeah, the live convinced myself was true. You know what I mean? Like that actually is the best part of therapy. He's like, you do get a guy who's like, no. What you've been lying to yourself over the last month to make yourself feel better about your actions is completely untrue. Not what happens. Yeah, I was here. It was good. It was good to have the, I still haven't fixed my behavior. What was, are you going to tell us what the situation was? You're going to keep it fixed. We're going to, we're going to talk that one. Oh, sorry, bro. It is cowardly. It is cowardly. Give me a couple months, maybe I'll come back. No, the number of times I tell a full story on the show and then immediately after the episode after the guest leaves, I turn a chance and go cut that. Yeah. It's been growing lately. Yeah. This episode ends up being fucking 22 minutes long. Yeah, we got all the stuff we get off the meat out of there. Yeah, yeah. It's just you being like, 25 was hard, 2026 might rest. Yeah. Thanks guys. At Stovey, baby. Of course. Now, my new year's resolution every year has been double the bread, double the head. Yeah. And that's just kind of a guiding light where it's like, make more money, get sucked off more. Yeah. And maybe that's a problem. I mean, saying it out loud, maybe that has been the problem at the height that is how I've looked my life. Yeah. And I've mostly done it to the most part. Did you double the bread in the head this year? Would you say? Doubling has gotten tough. It's been, when you have a couple good years, yeah, doubling is a lot. Doubles a lot. Like, you know that thing where they're like, you want a billion dollars now or a penny times two every day or whatever the fuck. You know what I'm saying? I understood the spirit of the, yeah. It's a thing. It's a thought experiment to show people the power of compounding things of doubling things. Yeah. So that's why I'm saying doubling is maybe I've lost, I probably didn't double this year. Yeah. But more bread more. For more bread more. Yeah, maybe just more bread more head is what it needs to be. Yeah. To evolve. We're just bread and head in moderation. Would not be sweet. Yeah, let them get head, Marie Antoinette. So is there anything there you think? There is. I think for sure. I think for sure. I think for sure. I found a TikTok account on accident of a girl who her entire account is her walking around and restating classic moral dilemmas. And she's like, so a train is going down a track. If you do nothing, it'll hit five people. If you switch it, it'll hit one. What are you doing? Sound off in the comments. And people are in the comments debating this age old moral question. I'm like, this is fucking psychotic. Yeah. That's your content. Yeah. And the people are going for it. Honestly, good for her. I mean, she found a nice little niche. It's getting conversation started. We're starting philosophy again in that lady's TikTok comments. We are. The salon, the Parisian salon. It's not going well. Yeah. In the comments. It's not the kind of heightened debate that you imagine originally came out of that problem. Sure, sure, sure. You got to pull the lever, right? Let's talk. Let's talk. You want to do a try problem? Yeah, yeah, yeah. It really comes up on the show a lot. So what I do your show, we're talking about like what's the perfect size of Titi or whatever. Is it great? A great cup of nut boys are taking a call. Great question. Yeah. And then on my show, we're talking about why you struggle with intimacy and what we would do in the trolley problem. I would pull you pull the lever. Sorry to that guy, but you pull the lever. You actually pull the lever. There's no question that you pull the lever. Yeah. To me, anybody who says don't pull the lever is a psychopath. If you have a gun, maybe you shoot the guy in the head because it's probably easier to die by gunshot than like being run over by a train. Yeah, I guess. You pull the lever and you shoot the guy in the head. That's the humane thing to do because it's probably less painful to die that way. You're adding. You're adding a thing that doesn't need to be added. You know, if you had the choice, would you be run over by a fucking train and get shot in the head real fast? Which would you choose? I think probably run over by the train. Really? Don't you think it would be just as quick? No, maybe it's no. I think it would hurt a lot. You think it would hurt? Yeah, I think it would hurt. I think it would be quick. I don't think so. I think you're very naive here. You think it's time to shoot? You get, especially if you're not expecting getting shot in the head. Yeah. If I'm like, all right, man, sorry. I'm going to just fucking pull the thing and then real quick. As you're bracing yourself to get run over, you just get the sweet relief of a gun to the head. Yeah. I have a bullet to the back of your skull. Well, can I improve your idea? Sure. That you don't say, hey, man, sorry. I think you say to the guy alone on the track, you go, hey, I'm not going to pull the lever. I'm going to let it hit those other people. And he goes, then you shoot him in the head and then you pull it. And then what if you're like, what if in the excitement of shooting him in the head, you forget the pull lever? You shot the guy and those four people run over real quick and shoot all of them in the head. Sorry guys, no time to pull the lever. It's better. It's better this way. Interesting. Interesting. Interesting. Interesting. Interesting. Yeah, I'm glad we got to the bottom of that. You ever stole on anything? Yes, certainly. I did a little shoplifting. For years, I would help myself to the hot bar in my grocery store as I was shopping. Oh, yeah. I had a lot of fried catfish on the giant on 33rd in Baltimore. This would fill up a tin of fried catfish and just snack as I'm shopping, throw it away. Eventually, they got rid of the trash cans and I had to just hide the thing somewhere. Yeah. I would hide my trash. But that's classic. I would have lunch and dessert. I would take some kind of kind bar or something. And then I shoplifted a couple t-shirts by accident. Like you know when you walk out of a store, like I was just holding it and I accidentally walked out of a store and nothing buzzed and I was like, my going back. I'm not going to go ask the bad. Yeah, exactly. So a little bit of that. I only survived Chicago for a number of months by stealing from the whole food top bar. Yeah. I just, and it's not even like, oh, I'd nibble on a bag of grapes while I shopped. It's like walking. I'm a history chicken. Walking, taking a whole box of food filled as full as I could. And then go over to the, I would buy like a fucking protein bar or something that was like three bucks, put the thing on the thing as like a pre-mix salad or something. Like I would technically still pay four bucks, but it was like $25 worth of hot bar food. I love that. And that's just how I survived for a while. I love that man. Also, I would steal from, I stole a lot of lamps and like bigger furniture items for stores by putting it on the bottom of the cart and then just not checking it out. And only one time did they ever say anything. And he'd be like, I mean, oh, it was all bought. Yeah. I love that. I love that. But every other time I stole it, I got away with it. I love that. I used to love stealing. It's fun to steal. Oh my God, it's a blast. Yeah. I never stole from a small business. Smart. I never stole from a small business. I only stole from the big guys. What if it was a real piece of shit, small business? I would. I just never met one. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I never met a piece of shit, small business that I also could steal from. Right, right, right. Because I'm thinking of like Greek like carry out. Like the people that would have small restaurants. Yeah. Like us and I get we shouldn't, if you choose between big business, small business, steal from a big business, but some small business owners or pieces of shit too. Steal. They just, they would be Amazon. They're just too stupid, you know what I mean? They would love to fucking exploit their workers. They just don't know how to do it that much. You steal from small businesses? No, I don't actually. I would. I would. I would. I would. I would. I would. I would. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That's my good. I bet you too. There's the Vietnamese spot right by my house in Baltimore. Oh yeah. I'm there a lot. She was, I was not looked back and she like she posted you a lot. I'm there every time I get a bowl of eight, the cost is a picture, a picture that goes on the Instagram. Yeah. Which is fine. Yeah. Shout out to them. I love it. You know, I actually have to fight her to pay. Yeah. She won't let me pay. And now her and my mama friends. It's really cute. I'm not getting treated like that in Kansas City. We're very nice, but you know what the nicest thing someone has done for me in Kansas City. What's that? Recently, I was at a bar. I was reading a book at a bar that I like and the bartender very clearly was a fan. She didn't say a word. She brought me, she brought me the drink that I asked for. It was a CBD drink. The, or T.H. She drink that she like mixed into like some kind of cocktail, whatever. Yeah. Brought it over. It was delicious. And then she's not going to last by the way. What's that? CBD cocktail is not going to last. No. No. That that that bar is already shuttered. That won't work. Oh, they're closing soon. They, and they've already started doing theme nights. It's like the, the, our business is failing. It's like screaming out of the place. No, but I love the place. And three very drunk girls came in and were bothering me a lot. Like coming over and like touching me and like taking pictures without asking. So taking videos of me from across the bar. And they tried their next move was they tried sending a bunch of drinks to me. And the bartender, the bartender goes, Hey, how about we just let him have a nice night, huh? Yeah. And like turned them off of me. That's awesome. It was one of the coolest and nicest things anyone has ever done for me. Yeah, but I'm not getting free. No free. I'm not getting, when I go to the full place, they are straight up kind of mean to me. I went recently and ordered. I sat at a table. I was reading my book. I was alone and I ordered at the full place in my neighborhood that I love. I go, I sit, I order and I'm sitting at a table inside. Right? She brings it all over to go. She brings it all over to go. And I was not, there was a bunch of people in there. Yeah. They bring you water? No. I go, can I get a water and some bowls? I'm going to eat this here and she goes, and then like went and got it. Well, I will say, probably, you wrote, that's a lot of real estate for one guy. It was a two person table. Okay, all right. I tip it. I know, and they're wrong, right? They're wrong. But I do, I have also gotten fat, like, I've gotten that kind of fat discrimination when it's like a tight spot and they're like, that's a four top. Yeah. There's a different group comes in. That's four mouse feet. And they do the math. Yeah, they're like, it probably will be close, but I'll take my, you know, those it's getting people would not eat as much as I'm going to probably not, but they might get cocktails. They will, you know, real cocktails. And that's where, yeah, and that's where you make your money. Yeah. But you didn't, you didn't deserve that. And I think if anything, if the fat man can't be respected at all, eatery, where can we be? Where do we have left to go? Yeah. Yeah. Let my people go. DXL, of course. Oh my god, DXL. I mean, we've talked about DXL. DXL, it's a special place. I love it, man. I don't really, what's that? The gap. They're making good sweaters over there. Really? People are scared to talk about this. Yeah. And it's about time. The gap is making good sweaters. You know, I think I missed, I was so used to no one having fat sizes. Yeah. That I've just been cloistered at DXL for seven years now. Yeah. And I've emerged seeing that the one thing about capitalism is like, all right, they're realizing everyone's fat as shit in America. Yeah. So now the gap does have fat boy sweaters. The lands end, you know, you can get a 3X4 XL at these places. Yeah. I have to dip back out, see what else is out there. You know what I would like. What's that? If you gave me a couple hundred bucks and just let me shop for you. I would love that too. Let me get you in an outfit. You really are the like the, the diagram of gay and fact and stylish. Very, that's like, you might be the guy. It's not much of us. It's not many of us. Because I did hire, I did hire the gay guy to basically go shopping for me and then change my life. Really? Yeah, I got a stylist for like, you know, just they provided a stylist for the, I did Seth Meyers and hilariously the, the focus features which is like, yeah, we'll get your style. So I was like, that's so funny. Absolutely. Right. Yeah. It was just like a guy who had taste in you about clothing brands. I had never heard of. Yeah. Told me about, you know, I'm now wearing my jeans higher. Yes. You know, that's one thing. Yes. That's a big, that's been a big change getting my fucking pants up here. Put them up there. Make them a silhouette better. Put them up there. Wink them those legs, baby. Yeah. Does lengthen the legs. Wink them those legs. I'm feeling very powerful. I want to dress you. Like, I would love that for at least one event. Yeah, I would love that. I want to style by one event. I want to. That we should do, we should both, we should dress each other. Yes. You know what I mean? You're coming in the fucking tracks. I'm going to get you the right tracks. I'm going to get you the right tracks. I'm going to track suit. I would love that. That wouldn't be awesome. I had a blast during Seth Meyers by the way. I really like him. He's the man. He was so funny. And he was like, he sets you up. It doesn't feel like a, you know, like a weird show. Yeah. I was never done any of that. Like, I've talked for thousands of hours, but you just, we just have never, we skipped all that shit. Yeah. So it was nice to do that show. And he's very funny. He's very funny and nice and hospitable. I felt you went on, you and I went on right next to each other. Back to back. Yeah. We were on very close. It was the first time I had done a late night show too. And I watching some clips from your interview, I was like, felt the same way that I felt seeing myself there that I was like, it's kind of funny they have to do this totally. Absolutely. It's kind of funny they have to have us on. But he actually seems pumped to have comedians on. I think so. You know what I mean? I think there's, I don't know, I haven't done any other shows, but it's like, he, there was like a glee. I also know what it's like when I do a bunch of fucking podcasts and I'm like, oh, when I just have certain people that I know are just going to riff, I'm like, we're on autopilot. It must be not like, it must be so much easier to talk to us than like somebody on a fucking CW show. You watch these fucking interviews and you're like, all these late night interviews, the celebrity, the celebrities who aren't very good at being celebrities. There are some celebs that are just born for this shit. Absolutely. And they're like, they're like, yes, I'm very excited about the project. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And it's like, whoa, this is painful. And then they have like a couple of vetted things. Like my dog loves cookies. And that's like the punchline, you know what I mean? I was in the airport and someone thought I was Julia Roberts. Of course I'm not. It's like fucking Jesus Christ who wrote these stories for you. It's such a nightmare. Yeah. I'm ready to go. I got bitch, baby. You do. I'm coming, whenever you want. I'm back. You do have bits. Go in there with bits. He should have us on there together. That would be great. He should have us on there together. I would love that. My thing is, I don't ever want to go on an eight night show without a gag. I did a little gag for Seth. I brought him some leftover food as like a bit. Love that. I want to be, I'd like to go on in full costume sometimes. Yeah, sure. Every time you see me on an eight night show, I would like it to be like, make stolters great about that. Make stolters great of eight. Fucking funny at that. But that's the thing is, I think we all are, I think our goal, whether it's just by riffing or if it's like some silly gag or whatever, our goal as like our generation of comedians needs to be to make this shit fun again. Yeah, yeah. Cause it's lost the, the, yeah, absolutely. Well, it used to, there were, it used to be no podcast and that was a good, fuck, like the Johnny Carter show was good when it was like, Bert Reynolds just like, or, or just somebody saying inappropriate shit. Yeah. You know what I mean? Yeah. Just fucking talking, talking wild shit. Yeah. Clips will come up and it's like someone just doing bar jokes. Yeah. And it's just like they're just saying fucked up. It's just so funny that was on TV and it's being a good time. But it's like, yeah, for the next, for the next eight months, well, where late night shows exist, let's make them fun. The end of the era. Yeah. Let's make them a good time. Absolutely. What was I thinking when you were saying that, the going on and doing bar jokes? Oh, well, you know, the Quentin Tarantino thing that he's going after Paul Dano. Bizarre. Bizarre? But guess what? I know. I kind of love it. I'm like, let's bring back public beef. It was exciting with you. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And I'm on Paul Dano's side. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It was so good in that movie. It's good and everything. Yeah. And by the way, like, bothers, nobody, totally, just like, goes and acts as a nice guy. It seems to disappear. Yeah. It kind of just does this thing. So Prano's legend, we weird guy to pick a fight with totally, but it was awesome. Yeah, I agree with you. It was cool. It was cool to have a little beef. Everyone's like, Isdane, Oh, they Lewis going to say something and he did he had Paul Dano's back. That was awesome. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I look bald when, like, made a video. Hell, yeah. Did you see that? He felt like he was doing something massive. I'm like, this is good for the culture. Yeah, I agree with you. Let the men fight. Messiness is nice. It's fun. Shitting on people is nice. There's like a little too much media training that now, and I think it's because everyone is on camera, essentially 24-7, you can't stay media trained that way. The cracks are gonna show. It's just hard watching very talented actors that have worked for generations at this point, being like, I'm very excited to do the project with Kim Kardashian. Yeah. Come on, tell the truth. Yeah. You hate that you have to act with her. You hate it. We hate watching it. None of us can escape, but it's where we are. But come on. I know. Tell us you hate it. You hate it. Yeah, be like, it was a paycheck, it's fucking sucks. Yeah. She can't even speak to her. She has to go to chat GPT to respond to you whenever you, when you ask her, hey, Kim, how was your day? She asks her AI assistant before addressing you. I did my thing. I tried to act the role. She was kind of just there on set. It was really bizarre. Yeah. That's what I would like to hear. Yeah. She's not very good. Do you think Timothy Shalma, do you think he escapes the Kardashian curse? Because it's pretty rid, I don't like to, but it's like Lamar Odom, Kanye, it really is like an insane thing where does anyone come out of dating a Kardashian unscathed? Timmy's our strongest soldier. He might be the guy who gets through it. He might be the one who gets through it. Yeah. But it is very interesting. I don't know. My screen was awesome, by the way. I haven't seen it yet. It's so fucking good. I love Timothy Shalma, though. He's incredible. I'm not shitting on him. I'm literally saying, is he, is he the chosen one? Yeah, because like, the gets through this a lot. Because like Kanye now it's insane, but it's like Kanye was so, it was like, whoa, he felt at the time like, oh, maybe Kanye will get through it, because he was before going insane, just the greatest rapper of generation arguably. Yeah. Timmy is now like the fucking, he's the man. He's so good. It was so good, Amari Spreem. He's been so good at all the shit he's doing. But it's like, can he survive it? Is the swag, is the white boy swag strong enough? I don't know. I hope so. I hope so too. I hope so, because I love his work. Me too. I want him to talk a little less about how much he wants to win awards. I thought part turns me off. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But I like how Ernest C is about wanting to be great at what he does. Yes. I think that's fucking cool. I think so too. I'm liking that. I mean, I just wanted to see that movie so fucking bad that I was like, I'll see it. I need to see it as quickly as possible. Yeah. It just depends on the now avatar advanced screening. I will not go to. I will see that on the biggest screen possible. Yeah. I will see that on mushrooms. I don't want to be around colleagues. I want to be 70 millimeter IMAX fucking like this. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Pupils this fucking bitch. I want to be like the cartoon of what they say the future is going to be like. Yeah. Yeah. I want to be a wallie. Yeah. I want to be a wallie. Thanks for watching Avatar on the biggest screen man has ever invented. I want that. I don't want to be in a little screening room. But if it's if it's the if it's like if it's like a good-ass movie that I've just been dying to see, I'll see it immediately. Yeah. It was fucking yeah. It was so good. I realized something really dangerous the other day. Hit me with that. That my apartment, which is that I didn't do this on purpose. Okay. You have to believe it. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. But I was taking a shit and I realized that if I you can see your TV. Yeah. Yeah. Then I can see the toilet in the living room. If I leave the door open. And I was like, this is change it because I was doing this playing Xbox and I was like, I have to take a shit and I was like, fucking it playing Xbox. Yeah. I was on live. You can't lose your ranked. I was playing that. I'm assuming. Yeah. I never walked into a podcast with you more comfortable than I did today knowing that neither of us is going to be talking shit about football. True. It was so beautiful. Yeah. I was like, I'm escaping that today. I know you know how much it hurts me to like not have been able to celebrate the chiefs being eliminated from the playoff. Yeah. You can. Because I got even more fucking. You guys are nuts. Yeah. We suck so bad. So do we. I think we have the exact same record right now. It's humiliating. It kills me. But anyway, you're shitting playing Xbox. Let's get to what's important. I was playing mad. I can't. I already had taken my time out. You don't get a lot of time out playing from live. Right. Right. So I took the controller. I'm taking the shit. The TV's you know, it's kind of far away. Yeah. It's not a small place. Not a small place. You're doing well. But I'm playing on the toilet. Yeah. And yeah, I just realized like this is really good for me. Yeah. Well, this is you're taking me back to an era before phones before laptops. I had as a youth are my TV. The TV that I would hang out and was in the kitchen, the basement. And we had a mirror on our bathroom. And I could rig it up just right to get them. I would watch TV while shitting through the mirror. So I was just like, I had to get it just right. Nothing could be obstructing the view. It was pretty far away. But I you're taking your I'm you know, and then dude, the phones, you know, these kids, these whippersnappers. Yeah. They don't know about taking your hot ass huge laptop, burning your thighs. Because you're shitting and fucking playing bloons tower defense or whatever the fuck you're doing. You know what I mean? Yeah, we've seen it all. They don't know about jerking off on a desktop. No. Putting your foot on the door because there's no lock. Yes. And you're grabbing vacuuming in the next room. I mean, we're in the house. You have the volume on solo. You're putting your ear to the computer, fucking stroking while your foot's on the door. It was an escape room. It was crazy. Yeah. It was crazy. I really don't know. It is very fun. I was thinking about this. How pathetic it's gotten to like the back in my day stories. You know what I mean? Where it's like, this is the kind of stuff I'm like, your kids don't know. And then I was thinking about like how it used to be when a young, like when a young hot woman would date an older accomplished man, it was like a professor, a lawyer, like a captain of industry. Someone she could learn something from. And like, I'm dating women, young, you know what I mean? I'm like, yeah, George Clooney was actually Batman. I don't know if you knew that. Like that's what I'm teaching her about. I'm like, yeah, I was actually pretty good. Everyone says it sucks, but it's a pretty campy movie. You watch it for fun these days. Yeah. Like that's the knowledge that's the knowledge I have to give. Like, they're getting nothing. There's no leg up in anything. Yeah. Just you're not learning anything. They used to get taught like a Latin or something. Yeah. They're getting nothing to you. They're getting nothing to you. They're getting nothing to you. You're getting nothing to you. Yeah. He would like teacher how to like taste wine or something. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. You're not getting that here. You're watching Reno 9-1-1. I'm like, this is where the new Boots Goof and Meam came from. So you've seen this picture before. Yeah. It's a still from a larger piece. So yeah, that picture you love. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It moves in your phone. Yeah. It's from a TV show. From a TV edge good. We used to have TV shows. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. But you know, I'm okay with that. Now there's only one entertainment company and it's called the company. It's called, yeah, yeah. But we used to have many of them and they made different kinds of movies. Different kinds of things. It was awesome. Yeah. What do you think of the Netflix HBO deal? What do you like it? You like it. I mean, I guess it's better than our options are theaters go extinct or an evil Zionist family owns every media company. And it's like, I guess theaters go extinct. Yeah. I'm not happy about it. But like, and then I'm hoping like, you know, I'm hoping maybe through, you know, I'm a Netflix guy. Ted Cerandos is a Greek man. I hope I can maybe I'm trying to get into the, there's a Greek Hollywood illuminati. People don't know this. I know that. It's very small. Yeah. Right. Stamos is pretty much the king. Right. I'm trying through stamos to get it. Stamos, Neavarados. Neavarados. And there's, you know, people you're in the shadows that you don't know about. And I like, I am, I'm hoping get me in Greek illuminati. Let me talk to Ted. Let me say Ted. Let's get these theaters going. Yeah. I really actually do think Netflix could, they should, like if they had some kind of movie past thing where it's like, you go to a Netflix theater and you see fucking movies, you, you let's party your subscription. Yeah. Theaters are fucking awesome. And I also think, I also think like, we're all these classic movies are classic because people remember them from theaters. Yeah. Like, there's just, you will be a stronger media company if you keep shit in theaters because a movie that was the people remember watching there, they will cherish it so much longer than even a really good movie they see on streaming. So I'm hopeful. I hope they keep the brands kind of separate because I do think HBO, like a good HBO show is still the one, like a little fleeting part of monoculture we might get. Yeah. Because it's like every week people are fucking tuning, like when Game of Thrones was huge when it's like, you know, and like that was kind of, my hope was like, if I had any aspirations of wanting to do a show, I was like, it would be fucking cool to do like just a show that people watch and like get hooked on. So who knows, I hope, I hope we figure it out. I hope we keep movies in theaters, but it's kind of scary. It is, it's an awesome timeline that the choices are either we never go to a movie together with strangers again, or every movie is about the beautiful partnership between Israel and the United States. Yeah. Okay. Absolutely. I'm sure I was talking to you in the camera. I mean, like here are the approved words for this week. Fucking dumb bitch, dude. It's so crazy how they just gave that lady the fucking shit. They gave her a kiss. They gave her a thug news. Some fucking idiot. Yeah. It's crazy. Truly. It's, it's, it's fucking wild. But yeah, if those are my options, I'm fucking, you know, I'm a Netflix company man. We'll go watch tires. We got specials on there, all that stuff. And I'm just. Yeah, that's really funny, though, that during the strikes, Netflix was like, the, the biggest fighter of it, they're like, we have no money to give you guys, and then when it's time to buy HBO 30 billion above valuation, they're like, yeah, time to get to get, yeah, yeah, huh. I do love that. That's truly me. Yeah, that's me when it's time to pay my gym membership, or eight out, 17 times a week. Yeah, Netflix is your rich friend that asked you for a Venmo instantly. Instantly. They, they, they're not picking it. It's like, come on, man, you can't get the enchiladas, you're doing good. The wine was for the table and you were at the table. Yeah. Hit my Venmo. I know. And look, honestly, what would be great is if we fucking actually had competition and there was separate studios and who knows, maybe like this, everything kind of feels cyclical because this is how media used to, there was a Supreme Court case that broke up, you know, studios. And then what happened to the set, like I kind of think what we're in for, I'm hoping maybe hopefully we can be a part of it is like this happened. And then there was like real, like real indie cinema. And I think that's the answer. And be revival. I really think I truly must have the answer because I don't even want, like, I like to make comedies. I don't need, you know, some, some people it's different, right? If you want to make a big sweeping epic, whatever, you probably need financing that's hundreds of millions of dollars. I could make a fuck, you know, I made a move for $750,000. If you gave me $5 million, I would be happy to do that. And I think, you know, like one of my favorite movies that you were sorry, baby, right? That's like just great movie. Somebody who had a vision who it did, I don't know how much it cost, but it probably wasn't that much. It was like a one-locke, pretty much a couple locations. And it was really like a tour driven, right? David Victor, if you haven't seen it, go see it. So it did an incredible job. Incred, like truly like an ins, because like I'm trying to make movies and it's like it was also cool, because Ava was just, it was someone who was on the internet kind of popped off like front. It was cool to see somebody else get out of the internet trenches and make a really good movie. Like, look, my movie was fine. Go see it. It's on Hulu right now. But that was like a, they directed it. It's an art piece. Wrote it, starred in it. And it's like shit like that. And it's like, yeah, even like your movie that just, you know, trash mountain, like, let's start a cult was like just a trial of making a movie. I do think we're hopefully in for people just kind of making smaller movies to get their voices out there. And that like, yeah, our fans hopefully will support it and start like a little like sort of like that can be the like Tinder to just like make it blow up and more people to see it. Also our fans have got you have to if you're, if you're somebody who likes it, not even just you and I. Yeah. But like if you're somebody who wants to see an indie film revival, if you're somebody who wants to see projects that are actually good getting made, you have got to like, you have to go see it. You have to spend money on it. Yeah, yeah. You have to also talk about it. You have to make TikTok for sure. You have to fucking, you have to fucking do like a fucking viral dance trend for. Totally. Yeah, yeah. And you have to like, if you want us to be able to do this shit like when trash mountain comes out, I'm going to be more annoying than I've ever been. Yeah. About asking people, please fucking go see this in theaters. Yeah. Right away. Please post about this if it gets to go to theaters. Yeah. There has to be, we're going to do our part to try and make it happen. But if you want to see something other than just like 14 celebrities, each getting paid $20 million to do a movie that goes straight to Amazon Prime, you're going to have to like get in the trenches with us a little bit. It's true. But that is, I will say it's also a little exciting to me because it's like, who cares? Like the way I look at it is that every part of my life shouldn't have, like I, everything has been like, shouldn't have happened. Everything's, I've been lucky to get all this shit. Everything's been hard. So it's like, fuck it. Let's make getting movies hard. I don't give a fuck. We'll make it. We'll figure it out. We'll do something that's, even if I don't get to do anything but like small movies that I have to pay for myself, it's like, that's fine. I don't need anything. What I want to do is make stuff. And so I think, I kind of just think we're, we're almost like reverting back to films, like media is kind of reverting back to like the 20s or some shit or like the, or even like, or, or in other ways, the 70s where it was like the first wave of like, you know, kind of like weird indie film, whatever. But I'm happy to like, I also think there's a world where you can tour movies like, go and do it like from city to city and like, try and get the word out that way. And so I've been working on trying to figure this out. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I have, yeah, I love to talk about it because I do, I, we discovered some stuff on Let's Start A Call that I was like, oh, the next one I've really, I really know how this could work. But it's all, I mean, at the end of the day, it sucks that all the money is going to do these huge mega conglomerates. But it's like, that almost makes it exciting for artists to be like, we'll actually show you that we can beat you by just actually making good stuff. And so it kind of gives, it actually gives me a little purpose to not be the, I started talking about what a husk how I feel like I'm barely a man. But it's like this. I'm like, fuck yeah, let me make a, a movie of dick jokes so stupid that it defeats a trillion dollar corporation. That's cool to me. That's like a cool way to like look at making art. It's nice to have an adversary of, that's trying to suck, you know, an artistry out of what we do. So I'm cool either way. I think we'll be fine. I'm, I'm so indie film revival, indie TV revival. I'm so ready for it. And also the nice thing is like, I, I wish that more people who made money doing shit like this, the, one of the issues right now is that so many internet people who, who make a good living doing internet stuff, they don't have any aspirations outside of it. Sure. I'm trying to get more of those people interested in making art because I'm like, yeah, yeah. We're the people who can actually do it because our bills are paid. Like let's go like fucking make. Yeah. What's all pitch in money and go make a movie that we believe in. Absolutely. Instead of just doing another brand deal or whatever. Do those two. What's making stuff? But do those two make stuff? That's how I look at it. Like this is the like the way to pay for like cooler shit. Yeah. And I love doing it. Like I've gotten a place where I love doing the podcast. But it's yeah, we're somehow in America podcasting is the only industry that makes money. I don't know how that happens. It's the only one. It's insane. Yeah. It's like the most profitable thing. Like I really feel like my artistic career. I feel like my, I feel like my podcast, Neppo baby, where it's like I get to do like whatever I want because my podcast pays for everything. Yeah. You know what I mean? My podcast is my rich husband. You know what I mean? And I get to, and like making movie, making indie movies or even my stand up tour, even like people now people know me as a stand up. But it's like at first people knew me from a podcast and I had to trick them into like stand up. And so it's like, yeah, I look at it that way where it's like, yeah, be your own fucking Neppo baby. Like make some, even if it fucking sucks, art is for, it's about the, the act of creation. It's like at least do something interesting. So true is my, my benefactor. Yeah, absolutely. It's my like, it's my like, you know how old rich people used to pay painters to just like, being told they are. Yes, yes, yes. So true is paying me to go and like making indie film in the world. Yeah, yes, yes, yes. That's the, that's the relationship. I love that. Yeah, you're changing is so true. It's diapers. Yes, you know, you're feeding it applesauce. I'll kiss it on the forehead. I tell it it's so handsome. If you're so handsome, so true. Yeah. Oh, your personality is what brings me here. By the way, can I go shopping? I want to make a movie. Wouldn't that be sexy? Can I rent some red cameras, please, so true? I put on some little lingerie. Ask so true if I can go on to her. Speaking of, yes, stop it. What's so true to you today? Oh, I don't know why I didn't see this coming. You fucker. I've done this show. You fucker. So many. I was like, is this your terror? Is it time on the show, I think? Second. Yeah, so I'm like, don't, yeah. I was only done at once. I don't remember. This is my first time. What is so true to me? I guess despite life being a nightmare. And you having to face endless tragedies. Every time you get over one of those, you're stronger. And it makes the beautiful stuff in life that much more. Enduring all the dog shit makes all the beautiful things that much better. Like coming here to your pals, a new studio and talking about how empty life is, but that you do want to make indie movies. I can't, you know? It's a really good, so true. And I can't stress enough that I still don't know what's going on with you. Well, it's good because it's very bite-sized. It made sense. Yeah. Written out, it won't look like the ramblings of an insane man. That's for sure. I thought you guys are speaking of, because you're like, can I go on tour? I should plug my tour, actually, because I do have a ton of dates. I'm going to shoot a special at the end of April. Go to stavvy.biz. I don't know the dates. But I'm radio city. That's a big one in March. I'm on radio city. I'm going to be in Radio City. I'm going to be in Florida. I'm going to be in Ohio. I'm going to be in, oh, I should have prepared for this. You got anything, Shane? You got something for me, Shane? I love, by the way, that this, none of this is sounding like taking a break. I do say I was taking a break till July. I want you to take a break. Tampa, yeah, scroll down for me, baby boy. Red bank, Philly, Burlington, Vermont. I think, yeah, Buffalo after that. Yeah. Ohio, Lexington, Kentucky, Des Moines Springfield, Missouri. And Lewis Cincinnati, Columbus, Minnesota, Rockford, Illinois, Mississippi. I didn't know about that. Biloxie, Mississippi, radio city. Yeah, the old Biloxie, Mississippi, Mississippi, yeah, shout out to Stavvy's touring agent. Who is killing it? Orlando, Jacksonville, Atlanta, West Virginia, Fort Wayne. Yeah, I'm all over the place. Milwaukee, Rochester, and then we're gonna film the, we're working on where we're gonna film the special, but I'm very excited for that too. So, yeah, brother. Please come see me and listen to Stavvy's world, all that good stuff. All that good stuff. And before you go, you know, you got to play the game. Oh shit. You got to play true false. I haven't done it last time. Yeah, it's got to play true false. All right, I'm gonna read you 15 statements. You're gonna tell me as quickly as you can if what I just said is true or false. Stavvy, if you get 10 or more correct, we're gonna give you 50 US dollars. Fuck, yes, dude. You ready? Tabsoto was invented by the Mormon church. False. False. The dog from Airbud is still alive. False. False dead. Seth McFarland was a writer for Johnny Bravo. True. True. Deon Sanders were number 36 for the Ravens. 37 false. Yeah, false. The Michelin man's real name is Curtis. False. False, Bibondom. Bats are blind. False. False, they can see and use that co-location. Oh yeah. The official language of Brazil is Spanish. False. False, Portuguese. Keep notes is the ancient Greek god of sleep. True. True. Some of these are gimmies. I mean, this is awesome. These are great. Texas is the largest US state by land mass. False, Alaska. False, Alaska. John Candy was 5'11. False. False, he was 6'2". Argentine, if you do, if you're the first test, if you're the first test, then get me pieces of shit. You fucking knew what you're doing. No, you're doing. Argentino won the FIFA World Cup in 2022. There was no World Cup in 22. False. True. Fuck. I thought it was 24. Maybe the most legendary run we've had, though, on the show. Fuck. American Eagle was founded in 1997. I knew they won, two Argentino, I thought you were trying to trick with 22. Fuck you. When was it? What did you say? American Eagle was founded in 1997. False. False, 1977. Gerald Ford was a Republican. True. True. A group of bears is called a sleuth. False. True. Baltimore's Polytechnic Institute's fight song is Poly Fight Song. This is my fucking high school, we piece of shit. False. True. Fuck. 12? 12. With his hand in a row. Dude, I got real. I think if you were the first guest to get all 15, we have to end the show. Yeah. It just feels like... I could have gotten Argentina. I think there was no chance I would have got. And I might have, I was 50-50 on Poly. I was sure bears was not sleuth. Yeah. So I would have gotten that wrong. You murdered that. Thank you. That's my boy. Appreciate it. Is there anything else you want to puk stuff? Just come see me on tour. I think that's pretty much it. Let's start a call to say. I mean, watch Bagonia if you haven't. But yeah, that's it. I love it. Thanks for doing it. Thank you, dude. Always a pleasure. This is the best. Love you, bye.