Brittany Broski Returns

Wave. I found your grinder account. And let me just stop you. Let me stop you. You sneaky conniving. Oh me? You. Sure. What were you doing going through my iPad? Well... Pfft! Pfft! Pfft! Pfft! Pfft! Pfft! What were you doing going through my cat? What was your tablet? Pfft! Pfft! Pfft! Pfft! Pfft! Pfft! Pfft! Pfft! So, Brittany, I'm so delighted to tell you that this is our 100th episode of So True. Now you're probably looking at the... The big 6-0? The 60 balloons that we have here. What happened was my beautiful gorgeous perfect assistant, Michelle. She ordered the balloons to be delivered here. And they brought, instead of bringing the numbers 1-0-0, they sort of inexplicably brought the numbers 6-0. And then when she at the door with the man said, hey, this is supposed to be 100, he said, that's crazy. Right. Here's a 6-0. Right. Hello, well. So, that's what we've got going on for our 100th episode. Is the number 60 in the background because they just decided. You know what they say. Lucky number 60. Lucky number 60 and that's you. Yeah. Very me. That's you. They also say, 6-7. 6-7. You know what I'm saying? You wouldn't get it. I don't get it. Yeah. I'm not trying to get it. I don't think you need to. I'll say with that kind of stuff, I've moved on. I'm on a higher plane. I'm on a higher place. Oh, you start hanging out in Merrill Street. You think you're better than 6-7. Yes. Yes. You might be right. Yes. I'm not trying to understand that stuff. Yeah. Because I think there's kind of nothing sadder than getting into your 30s. Once I turned 30, I said, you know what? Just period. There's nothing sadder than getting into your 30s. No, I love being in my 30s. But once I turned 30, I said, there's nothing sadder than being the guy who doesn't understand young people stuff and is obsessively trying to prove that you kind of do. Yeah. I'm like, no, I don't get that out. It's not for me to know about that. Hello, fellow youths. Hello, fellow youths. Yeah, it's scary that. Yeah, it's scary that. One of the most impactful memes of all time. I agree. Hello, fellow young people. Yeah. Yeah. That's how I feel sometimes when I'll have people come up to me and they'll be like, I started watching you when I was in high school and I'm graduating college. What the fuck are you talking about? I beg your pardon. Why would you ever say that to me? I beg your pardon. You want to know something else? I did recess therapy on Monday in this beautiful city of New York. Yeah. Okay? I'm sitting there with a youth. Yeah. I'm speaking with the youth. You're with the youth and Julian. He goes. Cute, by the way. Very cute. Julian. Julian. Julian sexy. Julian has an energy. Julian has an energy. Julian, we're looking for a third. Now, Julian, we're looking for a third of your interest. I'm not going to say what you'll have to do, but it's, I call it cleanup crew. Yeah, it's cleanup crew and also knitting club. Yeah. I'm knitting during the episode. If you don't mind, I've just got some work to do last minute work. You've gotten too comfortable with me for sure. Yeah. I haven't even taken my pants off yet. You won't take me seriously. Yeah. Don't say that. We bring in the 60-bloons, you. The 60-bloons. Lucky number six. Number six, though. I was with the children. Yes. And this kid in the middle of me saying something, he had asked me a question halfway through decided he didn't care about my answer. He goes, how old are you? Well. Yeah. Well, right? Answer him. He goes, he goes, how old are you? He goes, eight. I said, well, I'm 20 plus eight. He goes, what? I thought you were like 36. Oh. Oh, I looked at his dad. I said, oh, that's not. Oh. I said, that's unbelievable. Unacceptable. Yeah. Bring back hitting kids. Bring back spanking. Bring back the bell. The bell. Bring back going and picking a switch. Yeah. Bring back hitting the switch for someone else's kid. Yeah. I should be able to beat your kid because he said that to me. Well, everyone, I'm going to be able to beat your kid. I'm going to be able to beat your kid. I'm going to be able to beat your kid. I'm going to be able to beat your kid because he said that to me. Well, everyone wants to be part of a village but no one wants to be a village. And apparently I'm an elder. Let me hit your kid. The village elder let me hit your kid. Yeah. You are a village elder. You are, girl. You will not scare me into being afraid of aging. I'm not afraid of aging. I'm loving it. Yeah. You're an elder currently. You're going to become more of an elder. I'm like, I'm the eldest. I turned 30 and I felt a release. I can't even explain to you. Yeah. It's like there was something about my 20s that I was like, I was always like, my 20s, my 20s, my 20s have to be so special. I turned 30 and I was like, maybe. Yeah. It's five o'clock somewhere. And it always is. It's always five o'clock somewhere. And it's always the 60th episode somewhere. Big 60! Big 60 row. Big 60 row. How do you feel? I feel like. You should definitely get a refund for the balloons you got. Yeah. We'll be pursuing that. Yeah. Okay, great. You have been with so true since the very start. Caleb, it is my honor and privilege you have been one of the first. You were one of the first and we actually recorded. I don't know, did we ever talk about on one of your episodes? The episode that you recorded and we didn't get to put out. One of the funniest pieces of lost media that's ever existed. We went really hard on that on the least episode. Can I say something? We're funny. You and me? Yeah. I would love to feel that someday because what I think. I wish I could agree. Yeah, I wish I could agree. I wish I could agree. I watch our stuff and I see people having fun with it. And I go, what are they seeing that I'm not? If you got it, you got it. If you don't, you clip it and post it on TikTok. You clip it and post it on TikTok. And that's what I'm doing. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I do feel like our friendship is a lot of just clip farming. If for sure. Yeah. I would say our friendship is 90% business, public facing relationship. Yes. When I asked you, I found out you were going to be in New York from like an Instagram story. And I immediately called you and said, don't you ever in your fucking life. Post on Instagram that you're going to be in New York City and not have texted me first. And I thought I really had you like, I thought you're going to be like, my bad. And then you go, how the fuck am I supposed to know where you're at? And I was like, whoa. Whoa. Whoa. Where in the world is Caleb Aaron? But you did accuse me when I asked you to come on the show of using our friendship for views. And I just want to say, all jokes aside, I 100% am. I don't like you much. Yeah, I hang out with you for the views. Under these lights, magic happens. Under the, this is, we come here for magic. We come here to this theater. This theater for magic. And once the camera's cut, this will be our interaction. All right. Thanks for doing it, Bernie. Yeah. When this is released here, this comes out January, January 8th. Great. Okay. Yeah. I'll have the like, indie eight drawn up by that. And we go back to our separate dressing rooms. Yeah. Oh god, I do wish we had a, what's funny? I think about our friendship to me is that I think when people see us online and Drew as well, which, you know, Drew is not here. And that's obviously a benefit. She's passed on. She's passed on. Yeah. She's in California. She's just in California. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But people see us online. And I think they think that when we're together, it's like, I don't know, like we're like both like the squirrel from Ice Age or something. Scrap. Like we're like fucking bangin'. Yeah, we're like bangin' shit into the ice and like running around crazy and giggling the whole time. And then we're hanging out. We're like, what are we holding a shot of chance? I mean, like you are worthy of so much more than you know. I can't live in high. We're just talking. Like before we come on here and we're like, butthole. Yeah, yeah. But the bubble pick of the day. Yeah. We do, um, who are you outside of yearning? And who are you? Who are you in having? On the podcast, we're like, man, I would binge you over right now. But these cameras weren't on. Five minutes ago off camera. We're truly over there being like outside of wanting. You have value. No matter what you have value. Oh, it's so stunning. I love it. I love, love, love, love, love it. I love being a girl. I love being a girl too. I think we should start planning more dates. You knew? Yeah, you and me. I tried to take you on a date tonight and you canceled on me. I did actually cancel on you. I have to go to the ballet. Yeah. I made a date for us tonight. Actually, it's kind of sad because actually you had told me we could go on a date tonight. So I made an assemblance of plans. I made a plan like two or three events. You know that I did. I had a concert I was going to take us to. Yeah. I had a, uh, members only event at the museum that I was going to take you on a date too. You text me back and you go, you go, sugar, I'm so sorry. You know, I had a thing with the ballet. Well, and that brings me to my so true. If we could just fucking get into it. Let's do one now. Do it so true. Because I have two more after this. We can just keep circling back. Brittany Renee broski. What is so true to you? You know what's so true right now to me in this moment. I came in hot today. Art. Specifically live theatrical art. Like the opera, ballet, live theater, Broadway, whatever. This is the city to do it. Stand up, stand up, stand up. Say stand up. Stand up. Stand up comedy. Thank you. Guys, go to see stand up. Specifically at please. We'll put it in there. Okay, yeah. Over my mouth. Yeah. Wherever I'm performing. Yes. We'll clip this every time I do a show. Go see stand up specifically at the laugh hub in Seattle. Yeah. Extra night added. Yeah. Sold out. See Caleb here in line. It's just you doing this. Yeah. But yes, art, right, art. There should not be a barrier to entry on live art. Okay. There is a class we're going on. Yes. You and me are we're up on the funeral pyre unfortunately. This keeps coming up. Yeah. Yeah. Specifically. Yeah. I like honestly trying to get these ballet tickets. It should not cost an arm in a leg. And it's also a big ass stupid ass dumb ass New York red flag when you go and it's all old people in the audience. Yeah. Because they are the only people that can afford those tickets. Yeah. It is so upsetting. And I think ballet is such it's an art form that needs to be preserved. Let's talk about old people. Okay. They bought houses for 17 cents. Yep. And then they hoarded them. Uh huh. And then they became property criminals. Now they rent them out to people for tens of thousands of dollars. I looked at a house in LA once that was for rent for $11,000 a month. A big. It was like four or five bedrooms with a pool in the backyard and stuff. Oh, okay. But the people bought it to doctors, bought it for like $175,000 in the 90s. And they've long since paid that mortgage off. And now they are just banking $11,000 a month. It's criminal. So go to jail. Go to jail actually. So go to jail. For free right now. Because you don't have to charge that much. No, jail no parole. You there is no livable reality where you should be charging $10,000 a month for rent for the shithole that is Los Angeles. Get a grip. Get a grip. Get a grip. It is not right with these old people have done. And now they're spending that money to go to the ballet and you're not there. And that's not right. And I'm not there. That's not right. No, that's not right at all. You deserve to be there. And some dumb fucking idiot is sitting in my seat at the ballet. Yeah. And they're not looking at the bulge the way that I would be appreciating the bulge. That's almost certainly true. And it's not about the bulge. Caleb stop making it sexual. It's not about the bulge. Right. You've brought up a card. Yeah, do not see how he gaslights me on camera. Yeah. It's about the art. It's about the synchronicity of the dancers. It's about the live orchestra. I think God every day that you were brought into my life. I don't know how I got to stop it. Stop it. You know, I feel the same. I want to say something to you. Say it. And can we we have a lesbian to think for introducing us actually. Give me space to talk to you really quick. Go ahead. Don't care. Brittany. Brittany. Stop. Not everything is silly. You're being bad. Every single day. I can't believe that I got lucky enough to be your friend. And that being said, you have got to stop voting Republican. It's really not funny because I do that bit on this show sometimes. But seriously behind closed doors. It's because of my sweater. Yes. I said she's showing up in American flag sweater talking about the call centers in another country. Hold on. Now tell me about your perfect day. Can I tell you about the worst day that I would wish on someone else? Oh, absolutely. I want a day full of little inconveniences. Yes. Everything goes wrong. Yes. Miss your bus. Maybe step in shit. Yeah. Maybe you're late. Maybe you have an eaten all day. Maybe you have a room. Maybe you have a room. Maybe you have a room. Maybe you have a room. Maybe you have a room. Maybe you have a room. Maybe you have a room. Maybe you have an eaten all day. Maybe you have a really bad coffee breath. Maybe you're self conscious about it all day. I want little things. Drop your keys. You're fucking sweater gets caught on the door. Like it rips. The person that you're like really beefing with the worst. It's a psychological game. Right. I really want you to suffer not in a major way. Yeah. But in like a push them to the brink. Yeah. Right. Thoughts on that. I've wished horrible things on people who cut me off in traffic. I mean, I just like. I don't mean it. And I don't dwell on it. But for just a second. You're going to tell me right now. Someone speeds past you in a reckless way. And you don't go like, if they got in a crash, it would be on them. Right. I don't want it. Right. But there's a part of my brain that goes like, that would be the consequences. Where's the Christian part of your brain? Like, what if he's rushing his wife to the hospital? I try to do that. I try to do that. That's a thing for that. You have such a dark spirit that it overpowers. There's a name for that where you assume that everyone has a circumstance. It's like some kind of cognitive something, something. Yeah. But I'm not in therapy like that. I don't care about mental health. I'm mentally healthy. I feel fine. I feel good. So I feel like everyone else, y'all are kind of making it up. No. Well, no. Some people, yeah. I mean, some people, some people, I feel they, you know, here's what I'll say. Okay, just say it. There is such a thing as spending too much time thinking about your mental health. Getting about yourself, girl, let's talk about this actually. Get off it. Get over yourself. Here's the thing. Take them off. They're coming off. The flats are off. And I'm going to reveal my moose knuckle to the camera now. Yeah. I'll hide it until the end. Yeah. Okay, stick to the end. Stick around for moose knuckle reveal until we get the right balloons and my moose knuckle. Yeah. Here's the thing about doing too much intensive therapy. Okay. Yes. Your navel gazing, your navel gazing, your head's going to go up your push eventually. Yeah. You bent down like this, thinking about yourself the whole fucking time. The serious cure, like a quick cure to if you're like, I can't stand this anymore. Like I'm so deep in my head, think about someone else's problems. Yes. And how you maybe could help them. Yeah. I swear, I just dealt with this with a long term friend of mine. She's really been struggling. We went on a girl's trip and hearing about everyone else's struggles and how deep. And what's that phrase? It's called not not wanderlust. It's the other one where you realize, oh, everyone is as complex and gray as I am. Oh, yeah. It's like one of those things that they have like a Swedish word for. Yes. Yeah. They're like, they're pumped and flutten. Yeah. It's like the realization that other people exist. Chippin' vans didn't. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It's very that where, oh, yeah. Other people feel as deeply as I do. Yeah. And like, it's not always about me all the time. And I think it's so easy, especially as Americans, to have that be your accepted reality. And it's so, and this sounds so like, yeah, fucking duh, to do something kind for someone else. And not only will that make you feel good, but it'll also take you out of your own head. It's the ostrich taking its head out of the sand. Yeah. But it's good. Do something for someone else. Exactly. Think about someone else. Get over yourself. You've got to get over yourself. Get over it. It's not to say don't think about yourself. Ever, of course, we all think about ourselves. But like, the constant turning over of, am I a good person? Am I doing good? Am I feeling good? Am I a good person? Am I a good person? Stop. Just exist. Chill out. Yeah. Because also what it forces you to do when you're constantly doing that is by constantly evaluating yourself, you start to evaluate everyone else. And so then everything you hear all the time, you're looking for like, you shouldn't have said that. You shouldn't have done that. You shouldn't be like that. You should do. It's like, yeah, or you could fucking relax and get over yourself. And your writing writing writing writing writing writing writing writing writing writing writing writing writing writing writing writing writing writing writing writing writing writing writing writing writing writing writing writing writing writing writing writing writing writing writing writing writing writing writing writing writing writing writing writing writing writing writing writing writing writing writing writing writing writing writing writing writing writing writing writing writing writing writing writing writing writing writing writing writing writing writing writing writing writing writing writing writing writing writing writing writing writing writing writing writing writing writing writing writing writing writing writing writing writing writing writing writing writing writing writing writing writing writing writing writing writing writing writing writing writing writing writing writing writing writing writing writing writing writing writing writing writing writing writing writing writing writing writing writing writing writing writing writing writing writing writing writing writing writing writing writing writing writing writing writing writing writing writing writing writing writing writing writing writing writing writing writing writing writing writing writing writing writing writing writing writing writing writing writing writing writing writing writing writing writing writing writing writing writing writing writing writing writing writing writing writing writing writing writing writing writing writing writing writing writing writing writing writing writing writing writing writing writing writing writing writing writing writing writing writing writing writing writing writing writing writing writing writing writing What happened? It's your show. You see how I did that I commanded the scene. Yeah. Okay, let's do a scene. Okay, let's do a scene. Let's do a scene. Okay, look Just hold me. I need to get into acting. Yeah, let's do a scene. Okay. Um, I Think that you would be a good actor. Thank you. I already am actor actress actor. I don't do gendered when I do actor. Everyone's an actor got it. Yep. So the see I'm and you know, I'm obviously a decorated performer already. Um, so This is the scene. I have been away. I am your husband. Okay. Uh, I have been away on work for three months. What do you do for work? I am an insurance salesman. Got it. Yes. And I've just come back and you are trying to tell me that You want a divorce. Okay. And Um, you're not even fully sure if you believe that. Oh, like there's still something here. There's doubt, but you think you think divorces the thing you have to say. That's something you're wrestling with. That's your conflict. Okay. And for me, I did cheat on you on the work trip. Well, that was gonna be about. Okay, start this. Yeah, but you don't know that by the way. Right. But I have a female intuition. I have a sense women always know kind of. Okay. Okay. Ah, it's good to be back from my work trip. Where nothing happened. Mm-hmm. Nice to see you. You have a glow about you. I just love work. Yeah. Do you have a good work trip? Yeah. Foucaix. Beautiful. This time of year. Ben cock. Okay. That's really quick. Sorry. Okay. Um, so You obviously there for a moment kind of started to laugh at what I was saying. Yeah. Sorry. I remember I was with my friend Caleb, but I wanted to make a penis joke. Yeah. Do you want to do it now while we're out of the scene? Yeah. Because I want to take this. Ben cock. Fuck it. Ben cock. Okay. Okay. Okay. Back. Don't laugh. Back to the scene. Okay. We're gonna go back in. Yeah. Okay. Mm-hmm. I'll just take it from the top. Okay. Do the little walk again. Oh, God. Sorry, babe. I'm exhausted from my work trip. Hey, how was the traveling? It was good. You know, the fight was a little bumpy, but nothing crazy. Guy next me was listening to something out loud with no headphones. Fucking jackass. Yeah. Hate when that happens. Got DM headphones. Yeah. It's it's it's rude. It's rude as hell. Yeah. And you don't expect this kind of stuff on Erlingus. I found your grinder account. Sit down. Let's talk. Okay. Okay. Sorry. Let's step out of the scene really quick. The physical here is really great. I'm very embodied. I'm very in my body in the scene. Yeah. Okay. Let's pick it up. We've just sat down. You found my grinder account. Okay. Mm-hmm. And action. I found your grinder account. And let me just stop you. Right? Let me stop you. You sneaky conniving bitch. Oh me. You sure? What were you doing going through my iPad? Well? You were going through my nose. What were you doing going through my PSP? Grind around my PSP. Okay. Okay. Grind around my PSP. Okay. You keep the notifications on. So not only that, but you also leave the sound on. You were gone for two months Caleb. Do you realize that two months? Go ahead. On, on, on. You left it on the charger. It's ping, ping, ping, ping. I get so sick of it. Two weeks in. I go and check. What is it? Mask for mask. No fats. No fams. Yeah. Go ahead. Are you done? I just think that no, because you've got it all figured out. Yeah. No, because you've got it all figured out. Right? You tell me. No, I don't know if I'm understanding. No, no, no, no Antoinette because you've got it all figured out. It's not an ant. Renée Antoinette. You've got it all figured out, right? Sure. I feel like I have the picture painted for me very clearly. Yeah. So, so okay. Four months ago when we were at dinner at Red Lobster and you had the endless shrimp and they asked you if you would please be done soon. Do you remember that? You said, let me get another plate of the shrimp and the server said, man, can you please be done soon? We're not doing so. You're bringing a my eating disorder in front of the fucking camera. No, no, let me ask you. Do you remember that night? I remember that night. And do you remember what you said to me at that dinner? I bet you don't. I bet you don't. It's actually funny. I bet you don't because the way that you're trying to corner me right now. Antoinette, you said to me, God, just say it. I will. You said to me, God, Caleb, I wish more than anything in this world that I had a gay best friend who's mask and thin. Did you not say that to me? Did you not say that to me? Context is important, but yes, I did say that at the Lobster. You said that to me. And so even though I find gay people fucking disgusting and I think they're all going to burn in hell. Yeah. Because of my upbringing. Uh-huh. I went on Grindr.com on my iPad. Oh, you did that for me. Yes. You did that for me. Messaging these fucking freaks. Yeah, asking them, are you mask? Are you thin? She doesn't want to film fat one. I've been saying my wife needs a gay best friend on there and stutter again. And then I go to and then I go to Fouquet for a work trip to pay for your fucking nails. Funny. He told me he was Bangkok. You said Bangkok. Sure. Sure. You know what I want to say to that? You know what I'm saying? Tell me. I can't wait to see what you find funny. You know what I find funny is on this app, Grindr. Your profile uses my photos. You meeting up with these gentlemen? That 100% tracks with my version of the story. But trying to find you a gay best friend. Right. Sure. Can I ask you a question? Ask me. Just because we're into it. Re-physical? Did I sleep with some of the guys? Of course I did. Are you fucking insane? What do you think I'm a fucking idiot? These tight young men come to me trying to be friends with my wife. Right. I'm going to fuck them and make sure that they're actually gay. Market research. So they don't shield my wife. I swear sometimes you're so fucking dense. Yes, I fuck these guys to make sure they were gay. So they don't steal my wife. Domaz. Okay, cut. Obviously. You want to do it. Okay. Sorry, cut. I just feel like did I take it too far when I- I just feel like you leaned into the verbal a bit. Like it felt very real. It felt very marriage story for a second. Yeah. But then we really brought it back. And I think I have a resolution to this. Okay. Okay, ready? Let's go back into the second. Of course I fuck these guys so I know that they're gay so they don't fuck my wife. I have something to tell you. Because I feel honestly like hearing you say that. It's making sense. Like, I mean, honestly, really, really. And it just feels like I have to mean it to you. What's together? I made- Both together. I also made a grander account. Okay. And I went to log in on my iPad. On my Galaxy Note 7. And we use the same fucking email. And I just know in that moment, like, I've been thinking about it before. I've been thinking about this guy's fucking gay. And like, I don't really, you know, I'm not like physically trusted him. And like, I don't know if we were ever in love. But when I saw you use the same fucking- I'm not gay. I'm not gay. I literally knew. I'm not gay. But like, that's my man. Because if you made the grander account with the same email. You know. If you love peppered. If you love me, you love me tonight. Scene. Okay. Okay. Was that electric for you? There's something here. Yes. I felt- And I'm not gay, because I know it feels like it was silly. But like- That wasn't silly to me. I actually felt very connected and dropped into the scene. And I loved being in that with you. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. We should write something. We should- We should make a movie. We should write a stage show. Caleb, should make a baby. I mean, that would religionically be magic. Very attractive child. I would- Yeah, I mean, that's a gorgeous little kid. And that's a brilliant little kid. I'm hoping that if we were to have a baby together. I hope that it might exhibit some of these qualities. All right, so what is this clipboard I am wondering? So we found your LinkedIn account. I'm so- And- What the fuck is going on? The bio, I just hope that if we were to have a kid that maybe the kid would have some of these qualities. Brittany, gigum. Intelligent, creative, ambitious, and exceptional leader. Are any of those things false? An optimistic team member who earns trust easily. This was also before Chat GBT. Came up with that all of my own- Builds positive relationships and is able to work well in a group setting. And what I like about that is it doesn't say she will. Yeah, she's able. If necessary. If necessary, can an emergency. Sure. A skilled communicator who delivers messages and ideas effectively as well as an expert listener has not been my experience. The first falsity and problem solver. What, tell me a little bit about this. You know, my passion for people started very young. Yeah. Yeah. Ever since I was just a little type. Yeah. And is Tyk a slur for a child? No. Should be. It's close to a slur for a different group of people, but it's a letter off. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I think we should bring back Tyks for kids. Tyks for kids. For kids. Okay. Anyway. Yeah, I'm in. You got me. I'm in. I appreciate your support. What's it? Yeah, I kind of came up with that all on, oh, no, me, I'm some. Because I needed to communicate. I'm the personality higher, right? Nothing about that says actually I'm ready to work and I'm excited to work. And I want to be here. No. In fact, I don't like the opposite is true. Fuck all of you guys and fuck any job that would require me to work in a team setting. Yeah. I'm not doing that. Fuck a job. Fuck a job. If you're listening to this right now and you have a job, quit. Quit unless you work for me. Quit your job. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Quit your job. Or if you work for anything that I enjoy or like, you know, any movies or TV shows that I enjoy, don't quit. Like keep your job. Most of my listeners quit your job. Adele. Let's restart your job. Adele. Rihanna, get back to the original job. Yes, listen to me very close to Rihanna. Rihanna. Studio. Now. Frank Ocean. Join her. Join Frank Ocean. Can I talk to you guys outside? Adele, quickly behind them. Adele, get back to that studio girl. Adele's being a mom. Yeah, she needs to mother the microphone in the studio. Let's raise the volume in the headphones so she can lay down that track. I've had it. Adele, get to the studio bitch. What is it? 34? Where are we? Yeah, where are we? Where are we? 3736. I don't know where you're at girl. Doesn't matter girl. Lock in. I feel like. And can I say another thing before you go? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Sam Smith. Sam Smith. Get back to the basics. We need the James Bond 8 soundtrack. Yesterday. I don't care what's happening in the body shop. Get on that piano and talk to me about unrequited love. Yeah, mommy don't know. Mommy don't know and mommy don't want to know. Yeah. Get in the studio and make some sad piano songs about being unlovable. Now. Now. Now. I, I yearn for the era where there were a lot of big fat singers. Yes. Singing about Ain't Nobody Want Me. Big body. Big bodied, and able bodied singers. Big and able singers. Singing about. Can I leave? Yes. You can. Can I go in? Your side. What? Next to you. We could do a live show. And we will. And Sam Smith, I want to say to you furthermore, Sam. Get in the studio and make me some sad songs on the piano. And it's January when the sepsote comes out. I want to see them in my inbox by February. Okay. That's enough time. Sam Smith, I have a different request. What are you doing? I want you to be happy. I want you to live in your truth. My fucking god. I want you to don't listen to the opinions of gay comedians. They are not on your side. I'm on your side. Okay. Sam Smith, we've been told, I don't know if you get this as well, we look alike. What do you do? I feel, just give me a second. I feel fiercely defensive of you. Because you see how he talks about you. Imagine how he talks about me behind closed doors. Okay. I feel like if you were to put up a side by side of me in Sam Smith, twins, are you craving anything right now? Right now. In life. Are you craving anything? Are you hungry for anything? You know, can I, I can just be honest? You can really. I think Popeyes is back in a big way. And I know you weren't talking about food. You weren't talking about food. I was or I wasn't, but you're right. And I know that it's back. Popeyes had a second where they fell off her minute. Popeyes is back. The spicy chicken sandwich is so delicious. And I was going to beg you to take me there later. That's separate from what am I craving in life? I'm not taking you to Popeyes in New York City, by the way. So why not? I'm not doing that. This reminds me of when you stayed at my house last and you ordered Cinebond to the house. That really upset me, Brittany. Kill it. Are you serious right now? I'm not taking you to Popeyes. Are you like actually fucking for real? I'm not doing it. If you lived here it would be one thing, but like you're visiting, I'm not taking you to Popeyes. You should understand more than most the appeal and charm of a chain restaurant. I do. And did I order that Cinebond to his house and was it cold and dry and bad and was it $35? Yes it was. Yes it was. And you will not let me forget it. Well, I do it again. Yeah. Yes. Cinebond is really fucking good. I've ordered a triple-dipper to my house before. See, you're getting it. I feel like a chain restaurant. Say it. You know what to expect every time you go in there. There's a comfort. It's like a warm hug from a friend you've seen in a long time. Yes. Shared with company that gets it. Yes. You know you get a chain restaurant. You're from the Midwest, right? Yes. I'm from suburban South. Yes. I love it and I will go to it every single time. I'm a bit iffy. I'm a bit iffy on these New York LA places. What the fuck is that? Yeah. Okay, and if you have less than a 4.5 on DoorDash, I'm not ordering. Thank you for saying that. I will tell you there was one of the roughest periods of my life was a couple years ago when I started getting invited to like nice restaurants. And I had to in front of people I respect. Yes. I had to in front of people I respect learn about different types of food. Like I remember, I very vividly remember sitting in a restaurant in LA with producers that I was trying to make something with. And they're like, do you want the crudo? And I was like, what's up? The um... The um... The crudo? Yeah. Which is raw fish. Which is raw fish. And I said, oh, um... I'm not having that eating crudo right now. And I'm not kidding you, they went, what? And I went, oh, I'm just not having crudo right now. I'm kind of off that stuff. I'm off crudo. Yeah. Not knowing what it was at all. No, I don't mess around with that shit. No, and I love crudo, by the way. No, totally. And I just didn't know. Yeah. Because I was a fool. I have a heroing memory from when I was a child. Tell me no. I went to a restaurant with my whole family it was like a nice restaurant. And... Papados? Chili's. Yeah. And we're sitting there and everyone's around, it's like, sirloins and all this. Which I don't know, jack shit, I'm 11. Right? I don't know what a tender cut of meat is compared to like a flaming on teabone. I don't fucking know. So I go, I'm going to order off this menu. I go, I'll have the Ola Carté. Please. By the way, the Ola Cart menu, a list of which I came to find out in my adulthood, individual items you can order. I said, I'll have all of it. Yeah, just the Ola Carté, thank you. My dad laughed so hard, I think he peed on himself. And I was like, that's obviously, I'm never forgetting this. Yeah. Right? Obviously that's impacted me in a huge way. Clearly this is foundational. It's very transformative for me. Do you know, I had a similar thing once, where I, all of my, like my aunt and my uncle were in college at the time and my dad worked at a college. And so they were all at Thanksgiving talking about fonts. Okay. They were like fonts for paper, like writing papers and stuff really interesting. They're like, I write mine in Calibri because it makes the pages go quicker. And so I was like, oh, I do times New Roman because it's like more accepted in like this field of work or whatever. They were talking about fonts and the only font I knew from computer class that I remembered was Comic Sans. And so I was kind of listening. I was waiting for my moment and then a moment of silence came up and I went, I like Comic Sans. I'm sure you do. Like I was like, I like Comic Sans. Like serious. Like I was like, that's my font of choice, you know? And they all laughed so hard. And I'm dead. I went, what's why are you laughing? What these like, I'm imagining them as these like stuffy British professor aunts and uncles like, you know, like scoamer chefs, no, they were just like, pointing and laughing. That's the only font you know. And I was like, I was like, why are you laughing in there? Like they're like, they felt bad immediately. They're like, no, that's a really good choice. We just haven't used it in a while. Yeah. And I was like, okay. Come on, say it's what's like Papyrus like. They laughed like that. Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha. God, I wish I had a laugh like that. I think. Like one that's like kind of buried. Ooh, yeah, get older and richer and you might develop an obnoxious laugh. I hope to do both. Yeah. Trust me, you do have an obnoxious laugh now. I'm just saying it could get worse. No, I know. People hate my laugh. I don't hate your laugh. People hate my laugh. I'm fucking useless. No. No, I hope you feel good that you got that joke off. Yeah, I guess I'm stupid and fat and worthless. Yeah, I guess I'm fat and fucking ugly and stupid and gay. Yeah, and bald. So, oh, that's awesome. I was hanging out with my friend and I learned I'm stupid fat ugly gay, worthless, broke. Not funny. Oh, and nobody will ever love me. Oh, okay. Siri, please say I'm Smith. That's awesome sauce. Yeah, that's great. Good play. Say it. Bye. Oh, sorry. Should, oh. Siri's doing it. Should we do a song? Yes. Show. Where we only cover old Sam Smith. Yeah, probably. Oh, where she's actually playing Sam Smith. I'm not the only one. Baby, don't play Sam Smith and I'm not the only one. Yeah, you say. Yeah, I would like to do a cover show with you just in general. I think we should. What's going on with music? We're going on with music. We're going on with music. Writing the album. Yeah. Some red tape is happening behind the scenes. That is preventing me from doing my damn thing. Yeah. And it's also this weird transition of going from this traditional, like how I was instructed. Music. How I was told music is made versus how I actually want to make it. You know, like being in a room with five different writers and two producers and it's mastered by someone else who's never heard the song before. And it's just like, whoa, we're taking a completely different approach now where I wrote it all. I wrote every single lyric that's on the album. I have one or two other writers on the song with me who only helps with the melody and then one producer for the whole thing. And it is so much better. And it's epic and it's dramatic and it's cinematic and it's whimsical and it's all of the things that I wish the first couple releases were. But you have to start somewhere with a creative endeavor, you know, so that you can continue to improve and build on it. I think it's raw, narcissistic confidence. If a creative release is something and they say, that's my best work. Never. And then you never try to improve upon it. So that's where the music is at. I love that for your next album. I'd like to get me you. Dance man. A couple of yes, Sam Smith and then a couple of indie rockers in a studio in North Carolina. Sure. And I'd like us to fuck around. I mean, Adele is a thing where it's like every two years we need. And of course, you know, you do think I go, I want artists to be happy. I want them to live their lives to an extent. Sure. To an extent. Put out the work as long as you're living in the studio. Yeah, live in the studio one month every two years. Yeah. Just put that record out. Top divas for you. Would you say Adele is one of the top divas for you? Adele is one of my top divas. Lauren Hill is one of my top divas. Naturally. Yeah. Lauren Hill is an all-time diva. Yes. From me because she put out one absolutely unpeachable, impeccable piece of work and then said, I'm kind of chill on all this. Yeah, that's she actually is the one exception. Yeah. Yeah. She's the one. I don't I will never ask her to get back in the studio. She did what she needed to do. She did what she needed to do and then she gave us the MTV Unplugged recording. And I'm of course quite grateful for that. And Lauren Hill is just in a rarefied air. Where I say, if you give us miseducation and then you decide you're done, I hear you. I'll accept that. Other artists at pretty much every other artist. I'm going to be asking for more. Mm-hmm-hmm. Yeah, I'm hungry. I feel a similar way about Beyoncé. She has given us a lifetime, multiple lifetimes worth of life-changing art. I have not heard her stuff. She can't... I'll put you under her. Could you imagine if I've never heard a Beyoncé song? Who is that? I thought you said Beyoncé. Who is that? Hmm. I'll look into it. Beyoncé. Beyoncé. Beyoncé, I am so sorry that an ugly-ass bitch would even say some shit like that. I know. Beyoncé, you look like Luthor Vandross. Beyoncé! Beyoncé? Bitch, you look like Luthor Vandross. One of the all-time reads of my lifetime. New York, you will always be famous. New York, you will always be famous. Is the video for Smoking the cigarette in bed? Just laughing and smiling. Yes. New York, you will always be famous. She invented... And it is funny. We're in a moment in culture now where people are fans of reality TV stars, which I find quite funny. Because ultimately the impetus of that every time is like, I love how you were such a bitch at dinner. It's like, okay. 100% That's crazy to be a fan of. You're a cut. Yeah. And New York originated it. 100%. She's so fucking funny. I was doing an interview the other day and they were like, let's one of your favorite pop culture, whatever of all time. Only thing in my head is... Oh, she passed away. Wendy Williams is another one. Wendy... They're gonna cry. She has given us a girl. I'm gonna cry. Right? Hold my hand. Wendy Williams. Let's say a prayer. Wendy Williams. We love you. We are so grateful for you. We wish you well. And... I got the bell sweet, the bell sweet. Amen. Amen. Wendy Williams has done it, girl. Wendy Williams has delivered so many pop culture moments. I also think of when she sneezed and farted and burped at the same time. Of course. I think of when she goes, what was that? James... James, and it comes back and it's an audience member in like a zombie mask. I'm laughing. Yeah. You know who's jealous of it, though? Beyonce. Beyonce. She's one of my like, wow, that was allowed on TV. Well, Wendy Williams is... We're missing a little bit in the culture right now. The same thing that Joan Rivers had. I was just about to say we need a bitchy commentator. Somebody who just fucking tries it. You just says like, we'll see. I'm gonna say this and we'll see. Yeah. I like that. I think the internet is too deeply misogynistic to ever let that happen again. I think the internet is just misogynistic enough for it to happen again. Mm-hmm. Ha-ha-ha-ha. Who's gonna carry the torch? Who's to say? I like what you had to say about airport lounges. Say it. You said, we need to like... We need to make the criteria for letting people into the airport lounges a bit higher. A bit more restrictive. Yeah. The line outside of the Delta Sky Club. Line. What's start there? Line. Line because they're at full capacity. What's start there? There's a line. There's a line outside to get into the club. So I am paying for through a literal money and also my loyalty and points. Yeah. I am paying for access to a space. And there's a line. Does that sound like a nice experience to you? Hey. Hi, Delta. It's me. Hi, bitch. I'm gonna try on a new personality. Hi, bitch. There's a line. Huh? That's my new guy. Yeah, you like that. Hi, bitch. Oh, oh. I think my show would grow 10-fold if I started acting like that. I think if you wanted to do a real roll. A sour in the chicken salad. Hi, bitch. Throw it out. Huh? Do you ever dream about having a desk job? I had one. Again. For a long time. No, fuck no. Yeah, sure. I'll tell you what I do miss. And this is going to come off unlikeable in tone deaf. Thank you for clarifying. This is going to make me seem unlikeable in tone deaf. I miss waiting tables. Now, do I miss it enough to go and do it? Right. No, but I miss it. I miss when my body was, I felt I liked when my body was tired at the end of a day of work. I miss meeting new people. I miss knowing that if I fucking nailed it with every table, I would get more money at the end of the day. I miss leaving my job with that money. Yeah. And I miss the camaraderie of like every... I probably misguidedly still feel this every time I walk into a place. I feel connected to service workers because I did it. And that is not likeable. I do feel that. And it's stupid of me because I'm so not anymore. But I miss when I did work in a restaurant, it was true. I totally get that though because you have the person. You know what? I said this on the puck. I said today, I am sexually attracted to whoever the fuck plays the Grinch at Universal Studios. You know, the like probably early 40s, witty guy, probably bald, who sits in the makeup chair, gets dressed as the Grinch. Yeah. And just is mean to people. Yeah. There's a video that I love and we can get back to whatever the fuck you were saying. There's a video that I love of there's a line of people in line to meet the Grinch at Universal Studios. A line and a line and he goes, Grinch over here and he just goes coughs on him. Well, that's funny to me. That is funny. Okay. He is so mean to these fucking people. I see shit like that and I'm like in another life. Another life that's the job I would want to have. So that's the job you do have right now. That's pretty much what you do. You go on your show and you like force like very notable people to come and like dress up and like medieval garb with you. You see like you are coughing on them in a way. Spiritual cough. Spiritual cough. Yeah. You actually do have a point. Mom, I'm living my dream. I loved being on your show by the way. Thank you. You just like mean to me. I do. I thought it was beautiful that I finally came to a point where you just kind of had to have me on even though it made no sense. You know, like it's funny that the roster of your show is all like dream guests that are very accomplished and then there's like some guy you know. Like that is ultimately very funny. No, but you know that's our most viewed episode ever. I do, but I just think it's funny that like it came to a point where it was like we kind of have to. It's like I guess we'll have on Coleman Domingo. One of the most decorated talented actors of our time. And then yeah, I guess my buddy Caleb. I think that's very funny. My cousin, Kazo. I'll have Kazo on. I'll have Kazo on. Hey, Kaz. Yeah. Yeah. No, you were one of clearly the most requested ever. And I was like I'll look into this guy really most familiar. Yeah, if he gets his numbers up, well, let's see some engagement. Let's get his followers up. Maybe he posts on Instagram more than once a month. Maybe he starts doing that. Yeah, I think I just do anything of note. Anything at all. I think that would be helpful. Anything impressive. I think that would be completely helpful. Yes. Do you know, you know, Brittany, I'm single again. As you know, look out world. You have been, you've been there with me every step of the way. I have. I was in a beautiful relationship that ended. And now I'm single again. What do you think I need to be focusing on right now? I think you need to be focusing on being validated by men. I think you need to put all of yourself worth into whether or not a man likes you. I can do that. I think you need to worry about how you look. I can do that. I think you need to worry about your intelligence. And if you're good at your job, I can do that. Okay. Those few things, if you just really put that like on your plate, everything else off. Okay. Movie. Yeah. The interview. Podcast. I don't want to see it. Worry about what a man thinks about you. That's what you should, I can take into the new year. My only value is what men think of me. My only concern is what men think of me. My every waking moment is consumed by what men think of me. You think you can do that? I worry about what men think of me. That's what you'd like to see. Yeah. I can do that. Hey, done. I can do that. I was 18 once. I can go there again mentally. And did and will. And did and will and wouldn't have and should. And you want to know what another one of my so true's was? Say it now. Stop thinking about men. Well, I won't. Well, and you think I will either know. But that's something where it's like if someone says that a group setting, it's like so true, queen. Yeah. Right. Like obviously I agree. But in practice, I'm thinking about men. I'm thinking about men. But not in a way. And I will all credit to the most high, Dr. Oof Walu. Yes. She really changed my whole mental perspective on my relationship to and with male validation. And I got to a point very genuinely after my last horrific situation. Yeah. Or I was like, I'll kill that guy by the way. No, and he deserves death. Yeah. He deserves. I will never forget you telling me some of the details of this and me sitting there. Mouth a Gabe. Yeah. Like this is a person I have to harm. Yeah. Am I Shrek? Yeah. What am I to you? What am I to you other than all that can come to the conclusion of an ogre? Do you want to fuck me or do you want to live in my swamp? Yeah. And turns out neither. Neither. Yeah. I don't know what's going on. And the thing is, even if you want to live in my swamp, be a donkey at least. Yes. Help out around the house. Yes. I asked him one time, I was cleaning the house. He was watching Love Island. Gabe. Gabe. You're gay. First of all, gay guy. Gag guy in my house. No thing. Sorry. I am a woman, by the way. Thank you. I as a woman of cleaning the house and you a straight man are watching Love Island on the couch. Open up the iPad and fire up Grindr. I'm telling you right now. You're gay. You're gay. You're gay. You're girly pop. You're gay. You're gay. And so by the way, this is summertime pride. Happy pride. Happy pride. This is a man. It's June and you're gay. Yeah. He's sitting on my couch watching Love Island and I go, hey babe, like, can you take out the trash? Like I'm actively vacuuming. I'm like lift up your fucking legs. Can you check out the trash? He goes, yeah, give me like 20 minutes. It's up. So it's almost over. Get your white ass up off of my leather couch and take the fucking trash out. You suck your fists. Stoner idiot. Homo stand up. Homo. Homo. Get up and take the trash out, Homo. Take the trash out, Homo. There's trash in the house, Homo and it needs to go to the bin. Get up gay. Now. Get up. Now. Before I throw a brick, not you. Get up gay. Get up gay guy. Take out trash gay. Yeah. What are you doing? Men. Ooh. That's the eternal question. What as a man, what are you doing? What are you doing, men? Myself excluded. You get around me. Not including you. Myself excluded. Yeah. There's something going on with men. Something, oh, you want to know what, Annabelle said the other day. Tell me the other day last night about 12 hours ago. She go. Actually, I'll read it. Because I wrote it down because I was high and it made me laugh. And I was like, can't forget that. Read it back to myself this morning. Not fun. Not that interesting, yeah. Yeah. What's in the air today? Dumb ass gas? Idiot gas? Well, and someone's breathing deep. Someone's got the respirator on. There's idiot gas in the air and some of y'all are breathing deep. Yeah. You've just got an halo or something. Okay. You just have like a fucking oxygen tank. Britney. Britney ground. Britney ground. Yo, dumb ass gas in the air. You bitches are sucking it. Britney touched something. Touch something. Touch three things. I need to do this. My brought my knitting. You brought the knitting. You only wielded it to like make a point. You've not knitting one. Well, yeah, because here's the thing. I thought there was going to be a podcast stand. I thought it was going to be a mic stand. No, we hold the budget. The budget was cut. We hold the budget's been cut. Yeah, because you won't come on that often. Well, here I am. If you come on more, we'd make more money. I'm supporting queer art. You are. And you always have. And when you came on my show, you were also supporting queer art. I was my own. Yeah. Yeah, I was promoting myself. You were with it. Promoting queer art. Yeah, promoting myself as a queer artist. Yes! What do you think? Here's what I'm going to ask you. Let me know. What do you think is going on with the culture right now? What is your view of 2026? How do you feel about 2025? What happened? What is going to need to happen for 2026? 2025 was full of lies. It was full of vitriol. It was full of horrible friendships being torn apart. Yes. Better endings. Yes. 2026 is about rebirth. Yeah. No, in all seriousness, 2025 was probably one of the best years of my life. Same. Yeah, it was truly unimaginable personal growth and reconnecting with friends and rediscovering myself. And I think I'm the best version of myself I've ever been. I finally, like I said, got to a point where I truly could give a fuck about a man's opinion of me. Because if I like it, then that means it's probably cool. Yeah. And that means that there's a whole community of cool people that agree with me. So once you remove like men in their nasty ass and correct tasteless opinions, you're able to live freely. Sorry, guys. You're in this room. Yeah. 2026, I'm seeing more of that. I'm also seeing probably like fashion trends of the 2014, 2015 era coming back. Yes. Infinity scarves probably galaxy print leggings. We're already seeing printed leggings. Yeah. We're seeing a lot of high-waisted jeans, low-rise jeans as well, and like oversized sweaters. It's very, we're back on Tumblr. Yes. I think for 2026, I see ordering for the table. I see board games, board games coming back in a major way. Board games are card games included in that. Card games, board games, manual physical games. I can't really agree. Screenless nights with friends. Screenless nights with friends. Screenless nights with friends. Screenless nights with friends. Card game with your friends. Screenless nights with friends. We gather and there's not a screen involved. No, no phones in sight. Cards, board games, walking, eating, talking. Homemade meals with your friends. Homemade meals. Screenless nights with friends. With friends. If you can hear me now, I would like you to have a screenless night with friends. That is coming out big in 2026. 100%. Long walks. How about this? Long walks. Crafts. Crafts. Yeah, I taught myself how to sew. Crafts. Sewing. Sewing. Things that have to do with the hands. Oh yeah. Screenless. Jerks off. Screenless. Handshops. Or back. Handswomen. 26. Jerks someone off today. Please Jerks someone off today. And you don't have to use your mouth. That's so it's past. Jerks someone off now and only suck it a little if you want to. Yeah, I also learned what a rusty trumpet is. Tell me now. So, rusty trumpet is actually when you're like eating the ass from and it's like brown. And then you're also jerking it off. For it's like a rusty trumpet. So, hand jobs are back. Screamless nights with friends. Long walks. Ordering for the table. Homemade meals. Enjoying your friends. Jerking it off from the back. Jerking it off from the back. With your friends. With your friends. Not on your phone. Enjoying life. Joy de vivre. Joy de vivre. Joy de vivre. Ernest enjoyment of the things you like with no apologies. Say that. No apologies. 2026. Be an nerd. Nerd time. Nerding. Two of the hottest coolest people I know just asked me to do D&D with them. I was shocked and I'm going to. Caleb, can I come? Come. You'd love these people. Who is it? Is it Heidi and Closet? No. I will tell you who it is off camera. Okay, love it. Because I don't want to out them in case they don't want people to know they're getting into D&D. I don't know what kind of community that is. Okay. I don't know much about D&D. Okay, yeah. I know they're serious. Yes. Yeah. And, uh, yes, that goes into Screamless nights with friends. What else is going on? The male hug. There has been a cultural caution around the male. Mind you, he's wearing male hugs. And I have another pair of the short booties. You're wearing the booties. I'm getting into male hugs short booties. If you are a man, you should not be wearing the tall hugs. Right. That's not for you. It's gay. No, it's ugly. I think the short booties are a little gay. Male hugs are coming back in 2026. Are Berkinstok's out? Berkinstok's are still in. Yes. Also, in for 2026, making playlists for your friends. 100%. Make a playlist for your friends now. Make a playlist for each friend now. I think also make a playlist for Screamless nights with friends. Screamless nights with friends make that playlist. Yes. Also. Boston Nova. Boston Nova. Go to random events. This was going to be one of my so true's actually, because I did prepare five. Go ahead. In fact, um, say yes. Say yes. 2026, yes. The cost of community is inconvenience. Yes. Say it. Say yes. Go to the village. Nobody wants to be a villager. In 2026. Be a villager. We're saying yes to villager. Yeah. We're saying no to isolation. I'm feeling it. I'm feeling it. In 2026, we're saying no to isolation. No to depression. No to. No to sadness. Say no to mental health. Say no to mental health. And say yes to getting over yourself. And saying yes. We're saying yes in 2026. We're having fun. We're going to random events. We're taking a trip. Yes, we are taking a trip with our friends. We're saving up. We're not overconsuming. We're not overconsuming. We're saving up that money to put towards an experience with your friends. We need experiences. We don't need stuff. Jeff. Or things. Things. We're having fun. If you have a job you hate, no matter the consequences, we're quitting it in 2026. Yes. Yes. Quit. Go with me. Go with me. Go with me. Guys, you who need health insurance? Quit your job. You quit the job now. You're working with your health insurance. Quit your job. You're working with your health insurance. Oh, okay. 2026, everyone who listens to this podcast, you will be blessed beyond measure. If you are seeing this video, if you're hearing this audio. Money coming your way. In 2026, there's money coming your way. Yes, there is. There are levels of love you could never have imagined. Yeah, that you haven't unlocked yet. There's wonder and whimsy and experiences. The best things are ahead. The best things are ahead for you. You are anointed in this moment. In 2026 and beyond, if you can see this video, if you can hear this audio, like and reshare. Like and reshare, because the best things are ahead for you. No one can harm you. You've never done anything wrong. Everything is going well. You're always right. You are right. Say yes. Say yes. And also a comment to claim. Comment to claim. And you must claim. You must claim it. You must claim. Or it won't come true. Because if you don't claim, you cannot have. If you must claim. You must. And if you are not in a position of having, then you should get there from the yearning. Yarn until you have. And once you, this, oh, Brittany. Okay. This is an important part. Yes. Yarn until you, yarn. Yarn. I beg you to, With your, your being, you should be yearning. Yarn. But once you have. Spiral. Spiral. Crash out and, and do not know how to enjoy it. Yeah, and lose it. Want until you have. And then freak the fuck out. I can do that. I want you to want. I can do that. Constantly. Yes. And once you have, I want you to sabotage. 2026, but come insatiable. Yes. Never, never have enough. Never, never have enough. Never enough. Never enough. These are jokes, the last part. Of course. A lot of it was serious. Everything else is serious. I want everyone to live well in 2026. I'm tired. I'm tired. Brittany. I'm tired of bad news. I agree. And bad vibes. Yeah. Let's lighten it up. Guys, get happy now. Get happy now. Everyone get happy now. You know that I've been auditioning as my potential word of the year for 2026. And by the time this episode comes out, I will have decided. But right now when we're recording in December, I have been auditioning the word lightheartedness for 2026. That's my word of the year. I have heard itness. As my word of the year. I like that. I've been auditioning it. Nothing's too serious. Nothing's too serious. Lightheartedness. Everything can be light. I've also been auditioning. Sometimes it's a word. Sometimes it's a phrase. I have been auditioning for 2026. The phrase, all the best things are ahead of me. Because I believe that they are. Wow. Brittany, I believe that they are. You know, I am, uh, excited to see you finally have some success in something. Yes. I would like to succeed. I'm really looking forward to you. But can I tell you something? Yeah. I don't care if I succeed. Because, um, I got everything I need. Oh, in this room. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I got my girls, right? Yeah. And I have, um, your mailbox. I have my mailbox. And my mugs. Mugs. And, um, Mama, this mug, hauntie boot down. It's giving trade. Addison Ray, mother, mother alerts are a larson out of the Kia. I love them. So, uh, I don't know why you're talking like that. But I'm getting really, really scared. I'm getting really mad. I'm getting really scared. Yeah. I'm trying to communicate with them. So you've upset me a lot. I'm sorry. Are we really doing this? I have a segment for you. You love a damn game. I have a game for you. This damn ass game. You love this game. I do. Let's do it. Brittany, I'm going to read you 15 statements. I'm sure you will. You're going to tell me as quickly as you can if you think what I just said was true or false. Okay. Honey, if you get 10 or more correct, sugar, we're going to give you 50 US dollars. Honey. Honey. I'm down. Boots. Boots. Wait. Cunt. Cunt. Wig. Did you just say Wig? Did you just say Wig? Wig. Oh. Bats are the only flying mammals. That is true. True. Russia has 11 time zones. Yeah, obviously that's true. True. The Amazon River is the longest river in the world. No. False. It's the Nile River. Yes, it is. The average human sneeze can be caulked at 100 miles per hour. False. True. Texas A&M school newspapers, the reveler. False. False, the battalion. Yeah, it is the battalion. Safron is the world's most expensive spice. True. True. CVS stands for Consumer Value Stores. True. True. HEB stands for Howard Edward Butt. False. True. Ants can lift up to 100 times their body weight. True. False, up to 5,000 times their body weight. See, I don't like ones like that where you get them. Sorry. When it is true, but the magnitude has been skewed. Well, you're pissing me off. Green. Keep fucking going. Greenland is the largest island in the world. Greenland? Yeah. Greenland is the largest island in the world. Wrong. True. Australia. That's true. Technically we're all islands. Greenland, true. It's a tall. Don't. Don't, please. Oh, it's... Oh, it's... Please. Hozier is 6'2". False, he's taller. False, he's 6'6". Yeah. Shrek has a longer runtime than Shrek too. True. False. Fuck. There are 100 US Senators. True. True. There's 50 states and there's two for me to state. How? Oh. Raising Keynes is older than Timothy Shogame. True. False. Sound waves travel faster and water than they do in an air. True. True. How'd you do? Nine. Out of 15. Out of 15. You needed to get 10. Can you do it again and I'll answer him right? That was... You're right. This is the thing. It's so funny you say that because we recorded Kumail this morning and he said the exact same thing. What? Because... I don't want it again. I'll get him right. Yeah, I'll do it again. I'll know the answer. Yeah. I think you know what's funny is I probably wouldn't. I'd forget. Yeah. Can I ask you a question? Please. You wake up five years from now. You love this question. What's your perfect day? My perfect day. And don't be just fucking silly with me for once. It wouldn't fucking kill you to give one or two to answer on my show. For you I will. Ready? I wake up. Blessings. Nothing to do. Nothing to do. I share a bed with my Irishman. We open the French doors. The French windows. The double doors. Yeah, just pick one. Yeah. There's curtains blowing in the breeze. The smell of an orange tree wafes in. We don't speak to each other. We are... He makes me coffee. I read in bed. Okay. I haven't gotten out of bed yet. We're reading in bed. We're maybe kissing. We're rolling around. How are you going to do that while you're reading? Because I'll have finished reading by that point. Okay. Okay, so I'm making sense. Yeah. So then we'll start to watch TV. Then we'll start to watch TV. Then we'll get up. We'll start doing whatever. We have a big dinner party that night. Oh my god. Okay, we have dinner party. We're hosting because that's my dream I love to host. On me. I start prepping some of the meals. I'm cooking. I do like to cook for my friends. You do. But then they also bring potluck style. Okay, the shit that I don't really care to make, like, deserts and whatever. I don't like to bake. I like to cook. They bring all that. We do a nice big... I have crafted me and my man. I have crafted little name cards out of air dry clay. Yeah. Okay, we've done little crafts that make it like the candles we've made our own from wax and scented stuff. Everything the table set beautifully. We have a beautiful night. Screenless night with friends. We pay cards. Screenless night with friends. We don't watch a movie. We don't have to do any of that. We're laughing. We're doing bits. Maybe the edibles are broken out. We're... I want people peeing in their pants. They're laughing so hard. Yeah. Maybe one or two people gets a little too drunk. Too high. They spend the night because I have guest rooms. That's me. That's my dream. I'm high and I'm sleeping over. Yeah, you're high and we're... Drag you out by your ankles. I'm so stoned. You can't put me in an uber. True. Yeah. That's the way I get it. Screenless night with friends. Yeah. You're so stoned. We can get you to a sippy cup with water. Yes. We say, just figure it out. You place me in bed. Yes. Yeah. Please don't get up and wander into our room because you like to do that. I do. You like to do that. I'm up at scary right through up. Yeah. Yeah. It is scary at night. It's dark. Yeah. That's my perfect night. We go to bed and I go to bed with my Irishman. He cleans the kitchen. Oh, he cleans the kitchen. Yeah. And then we go to bed and then we wake up. We all get breakfast. Whoa. OK. And then everyone goes home. Wow. Yeah. That's my perfect day. Which honestly, I know you do this thought experiment with a lot of people. And you called out that it's just peace. Freedom, peace and freedom. Peace and freedom. Peace and freedom. I ask people this question a lot, like dinner and stuff. And the number one thing I've noticed, I've been asking it for years of many different types of people. The number one thing people seem to want is freedom. Just the freedom to do what they would like to do. How? And people have different varying levels of structure, varying levels of engagement with others. Some people have work included in their perfect day. They like in it. And there are times when I answer it that I do, that I'm like, you know, I actually would like to, it seems like I'd like to work a little bit. But freedom is the number one thing that they go, if I don't want to do something I was supposed to do, I don't have to. They want freedom. Yeah, there's no rigid consequence to it as well. I think that's beautiful. You know, a question I started asking some of the guests on Royal Court is what type of old Mandy think you'll be? Who's the person? You know, for the longest time I could never picture myself old. Whoa. I could never, like when I was growing up and stuff, I never pictured myself old. Like in a way where I was like, I don't think I'm gonna live to be old. I don't know why. There was nothing wrong. Yeah, they're not supposed to mean. I have no fucking clue. It was obviously very weird and sad, but I know a lot of people relate to it. And a lot of queer people I've heard this from, so I'm sure there's something about that. Yeah, something deep there that I don't really, well, we won't get into it. I'm not interested in checking that out. Yeah. I would say in the last five years, I finally started to see myself as an old person. Yeah. And I like him. Ooh. I like him. Yeah. I think I'm gonna be a silly old person. Yeah, you're gonna be the guy in the shop that like makes everyone laugh. Yeah, I'm gonna do like little faces for the kids and shit. I'm gonna be like the house that goes crazy on Halloween and every all the kids wanna come for the candy. Totally. I'm gonna be hopefully, by the time I'm old, I hope I'm the parent of adult children. I hope I have like adult kids by then. Yeah. And I'm gonna be a really good grandparent and I'm gonna be wearing really cute fits. Yeah. I'm gonna be like a not like two stylish. I don't like when an old man is two stylish. Like I don't like seeing an old man in like couture. Sure. It's not fun for me. Yeah. It upsets me. Not because they can't. I'm just like, I don't, I'm not interested in it. I wanna be stylish in like more of a dying and keepin' way. Covered from neck to toe. Just fucking big, flowy shirts. Big, thick turtlenecks. Big turtlenecks, little hats. Gloves. Comfy pants, gloves. Yeah. I wanna be giving like, I wanna be giving like comfy older person who has a stylish little chic flare with it. Yeah, like that. Yeah. Gay but not noticeably. Thank you. But like if you thought about it, you would know. Yeah. Yeah, I love that for you. Yeah. I do love that. I wanna be something a bit similar, but I wanna be a bit more, I never want kids. So I think the freedom that that allows is, wow, my whole life, I just get to really do me. But you'll never know true of. Says who? Me. You need to grow up. Yeah. You need to get that out of your fucking head. Yeah. Yeah. I'm just kidding. I do think that's funny though when people say that. When people wear kids, they're like, yeah, you're free, but at what cost? That's like their POV for real. That's. It's really funny. Heralding, because I get a lot of TikToks of like, I love my daughter, but if I could do this all again, I would not have a kid. Imagine your mother getting on TikTok and saying that. But she probably has. You're getting served. Mine? Yeah, yours. Oh, pretty, that's horrible. That's a joke, Caleb. We're doing for him. Goodness. Bratnie, that's horrible. We're giggling at that. Wow. Okay. Brittany, I just love you so much. You know I love you. I don't want this to end. Is that crazy? Well, how about you and me? Go get some lunch. I know that you're hungry. I am hungry. We ordered one cheer before you came. And you received the order form, but you didn't order anything. When was that said? Yesterday, a full day in advance. Yeah. And you know it's funny. Virginia actually texted me and said, hey, Brittany doesn't respond to this email when I email her. You might want to texture the launch order. And I forgot to do it. So actually there was actually a system in place to make sure that you were taking care of. And I forgot to do the double step. So that's on me. It's fine because I think things happen for a reason and all roads lead to synabon. There is not a road leading to synabon today. I'm not taking it. There might be a door test driver leaving. I'm not taking you to Popeye's or synabon, Brittany. Are you actually fucking for real? Yes, I'm fucking for real. I'm going to take you somewhere good and local. Okay. You're going to patronize a local business today. We're going to raise the decibels in this local business. I'm taking you kicking and screaming into a small owned business. You know what? Just for today. Just for today. I love you so much. Is there anything we didn't talk about? God, we might not do this again for a long time. Is there anything you want to talk about that we didn't get into? We might not. We're busy. Your place is on places. Yeah, but I'll be back here in six months. We'll do this again. Yeah. We did. You and I did concept a while back. A show called porch sit in. Morton. Where we sit on a porch. And just. And just fucking gab. Yeah. And I don't think that either of us is in a place to do it anytime soon. No, that's when we're like 40s. Exactly. Yeah. There's a future where we do this. And it will be happening. And first guest. Drew. Drew. It would be Drew. I do love Drew. Trixie. Trixie. And no one else really. Chris. We'll do one episode with Drew. One episode with Trixie. One episode with Chris. We call it. It's a limited series. Yeah. Yeah. I do think that that is. Oh, here's something else I want to talk about. Not done yet. Have you thought about or have we talked about this before? If all this went away tomorrow, what would you do? Yeah, I've got several ideas. Yeah. Let me know. I don't have enough money put away yet to accomplish this. But I'm trying to put money away to the effect that I would get a farm somewhere. And learn how to farm. And no, it's not easy. I know it would be very hard. I just legitimately, I think that if I wasn't doing this, I think I'd like to do a total 180. You're pretending to land. You're pretending to land. Real hard work. I think that's one thing I would do. Or I would, when you say all of this went away, like, could I go write books or that's not a possible anymore, either? Like I get like full scale canceled or something. It would be like, you don't have the platform that you do. Yeah. I would probably, I have the house in Kansas City. I would probably just move back to Kansas City. And I actually did, I did think about this recently that I was like, I was having some anxiety about people who were mad at me online for something. I don't even remember what to be 100% honest. But it was something that people were being annoyed at me about in my tagged stories. And I thought, like, me and what if I just quit all this? And I don't want to because I love my life. But that thought comes up sometimes. Of course. And I thought, well, as long as you had enough money to pay off the house, I would probably just like go volunteer with KC tenants as much as I could. I just volunteer with the tenant union because I love all those people and I love that thing. So I'm like, if I had money to live enough, I'm assuming that I would have enough money coming in residually for at least a while to just like go away and do that. And then I would have to figure something else out eventually. But you would. I think all roads would lay back to you having a creative pursuit in some regard. I'll always be making. I need it to help it. I need it to live. Yeah. I literally am supposed to be taking a break right now and I did two shows last night. You literally cannot help it. I like it. There's new stuff I want to talk about. I like it. You know, I'm hoping for 2026 I can get to a place where I'm bored again. Yeah. And the best, like the most fun that I have making things or creating things or coming up with ideas for whatever is when I'm bored to tears. And I haven't been bored for a long time. And I've gotten to this place where it's like, I need to juice up and be just cracked out on an energy drink to be able to be like, you don't need to do all that. Yeah. You don't need to do it because it's in here. Yeah. Oh, I think also what's up? No, no, I'm listening. I was going to say that. My version is I'd go back to school. Yeah. Yeah, I crave academicism. Do you know what? That is another thing. If I could get in somewhere, I actually might do this anyway. I've kind of dreamed of taking a year or two off and going and getting a Master's in Divinity and studying religion. You're kidding. Yeah, I don't want to be a preacher or anything, but I would like to go and spend a year like at a really good, what are they called the theology? Yeah, but they're a really good, the... That's me, Ann. But a really good, um, imdiv program and going and learning about just like faith and religion and like talking with other people like that. Very tea because I feel like that's one of the only honest places you could actually have an academic discourse about true, genuine questions about it and also to have a curriculum to study the texts in and have a discussion-based classroom. I think that's really... Yeah. For most people that I know that have an imdiv, their class was very diverse. That it was like people that were there that were Muslim and people that were Jewish and people that were atheist and people that were Christian. Yeah, love. It seems like a space where you can very academically talk with a very diverse group of people on purpose in a continued way. You know, that would be really nice. Yeah, man. Imagine. Yeah. Imagine that. Oh, you don't want to do it in TikTok comment sections? No. Not anymore. Oh, that's random. Not anymore. I had fun with that for a while. I think recently that her thing is like walking around and just like saying moral delimits that have already been established. She's like, so there's a train on a track. And if you do nothing, it kills one person, but if you change it, it kills five or whatever. And people just talk in the comments. And then people are in the comments being like, I think I would pull the lever and it's like their little... A lot. And her whole thing is just repeating these. She's like, so a man in a white coat tells you to push a button. You hear a scream in the other room. Would you push it? And people were in the comments being like, I wouldn't push it. And I'm like, what the fuck is going on? What the fuck is going on? Never heard of World War II, sweetie. Stop it. Yeah, how about this? Um, that... And I forgot what I was going to say. Hold on. Or just say it again. If there was a man in a white coat and you pushed a button... Oh, here's what I was going to say. Thank you. One must imagine, Cicifist, creating TikTok philosophy videos. Yeah. Have to. One must imagine. I think it's so funny when you can clearly tell just from being on the internet for that long, this is recycled content. And it's like anyone can do a TikTok caption and do... Yeah. ...and point to it with like a trending audio and then it gets 7 million likes and it's like totally. But I don't feel... I have this strange relationship to that type of content now where I'm like, this will always happen. Yeah. And where are you going to be in a year? You know, like this... I want to comment like, young Patawan. Yeah. This is bottomless. Yeah. You could do this forever. You could do this forever. Yeah. It's why I'm kind of getting interested in... I've always been interested in live performance, but I'm kind of getting... I'm starting to spend my brain on theater a little bit and being like, is there a theater piece I'd like to do? Because I increasingly as everything becomes AI and as all these companies become one super company called like, watch it or whatever the fuck. Watch it now, plus. Whatever the fuck they're doing. Watch it. Watch it, plus, plus, plus. Deliverable. Like, they're all becoming like one company. I don't know. I'm scared. And everything's AI. You can't really trust anything anymore. I'm like, the thing that we can trust is being in rooms with strangers. Totally. That we can trust that that is real. And there's only really one really negative outcome of that. And we're obviously not doing anything about that. Yeah. You know, shootings. But... Oh, COVID. COVID. Yeah. Well, we did something about that. We started ignoring it. And, Brittany, I love you so much. I love you, girl. I want to turn these cameras off. I want to go get stoned with you. And I want to find lunch. You know what? I could be down. Do you want to tell people where they can find you? You can find me, Brittany Brosky. On the Brosky report, it's a podcast I talked to myself. You guys might like it. You can find me on Royal Court. It's my celebrity interview show. It's Medieval Themes. That's Caleb, so, it's a little evening pointed out. We've had him on. If you're a fan of him, you might be a fan of my show, okay? We've also had Drew, Trixi, all the classic characters in our gang. We've had a lot of the show. You can go check it out there. You can check me out on Red Carpet's I host stuff. I do college shows. If you want to book me, my emails and my bio, my DuBros Taste. And I love you guys. Send I love you. I love you so much, too. Oh, and I also post YouTube videos now. We're back in 2026 on the Brittany Brosky YouTube channel. All that three channels, three free channels. Content for free all the time. You want merch of gotbrowsky.shop. Guys, come on. I love you. I love you. Bye for now. Bye for now. I'll be back in six months. You won't.