How to Use Double Entendres with Trixie and Katya

I'm trying to be less poorly dressed. I sat down the other day and I made a Pinterest board of what kind of outfits I looked the best in and what you would call that personal style and how I should spend the next few months really trying to pick a lane. Which lane is this exactly? I've gone full circle. I am country trash and I think with my bone structure and everything that looks best on me. I don't like this negative self talk. I don't think it's negative. Oh, I mean like what do you call it? Country trash. Rustic Americana. Yes. We're up like a canvas. Down home country living denim. That's what looks best on my face. My everything. So that's still Magnolia's stolen Magnolia's. We have to talk about what I said before we walked in. No, no, no, no. He didn't get out of the cockadooty car. Oh my God. Instead of a, instead of us, people have been begging us to do like a movie club and instead we've pivoted to book. Mary, that book. Do you want to say what it is? Misery, Misery got my pussy in a knot. It's amazing. She kicked it down the stairs. Spoiler, big time spoiler alert. People who have seen the movie. The movie is amazing. Movies great. Annie Wilkes, Kathy Bates, Oscar winning, Oscar winning performance by supporting actress. The book. Right. Mama, the hobbling in the book. The horny is coming from inside the house. She takes spoiler, spoiler, spoiler. So in the movie takes an, yeah. In the movie she breaks the ankle. She puts a block of wood between his ankles and then she wax it with a sledgehammer to break his ankles. Because she finds out he was out of his room. Yes. You know, her little penguin is always facing due south. So in the book, mama, she takes an axe to the fucking foot. She takes the beat. And it doesn't happen once. It goes wham. And then wham. And then she gets that last little piece of gristle. Wham. And then a blow, torch, Dakota, rise the wound. Baby. In the book she takes the foot off. He only takes one foot off. She takes one foot off. Oh, but he also, she also takes the thumb with an electric knife. She in the book. Baby. It's longer, obviously. So figuring out how crazy she is is much slower and much scarier. But you know she's crazy from, you know, she's cuckoo from the jump because it gets right into it. Also the ending. Oh, he kind of is like seeing her forever. And then in the end you're like, is it her? Is he just seeing her? But also when that, when, okay. So fast forward, fast forward, fast forward, you know, the fight scene in the end with that, you know, stuffing the chart manuscript into her mouth. In the book, oh, it's much longer and much concierge. Oh, they really go right to the death. It's so, I read in two days. It got up and honestly, similar to the shining, what you miss in the book, the feeling of isolation, the feeling of you are fucked. No one can hear you. No one will find you. And he's there longer. It feels like in the book, he's there longer. Kind of like in the Hunger Games. She's in the Hunger Games. There's like a whole two weeks they don't show where she almost starves. Hunger Games. Is that why it's called hunger? Well, they're kind of like me where they're eating always and still hungry. Because, you know, I like my two breakfasts, my two lunches, my three dinners, and then my sweet treat, which is a popsicle up my butt and in my mouth at the same fucking time. And then do you know what my big ass. But you got that stoma that just comes right out. I feed the best girl. I was like, hello. Okay. I have to tell the people what transpired upon my arrival here. So I'm sitting out there just minding my own business, feeling great, loving my life, feeling grateful. And then Miss Thing walks in and she says, oh, hi, ugly. Do you want some makeup? That's not what I said. No, no, no. What I meant was I'm using the makeup station. I meant, do you need the station? And you're like, no, you need the station. Can I tell you the truth? That's not what I meant at all. No, I know. I meant, do you want me to put makeup on for you? I know, I know, because I don't know how to do it. I was trying to help. You did. Yeah, I'm just trying to help. I don't know. I use my color on her. I don't know if my color exactly matches her, but she looks it on. But it's better than whatever the gray, white underneath was, the gray, white and red. But with the hair, if you're going to go lemon yellow with the skin, with the tanning, you get more red. And so this is toned. Did you use mustard? Toned with gray poop on. I think you look really good. You look like, what is it? Trey Parker. No, I look like the guy from Lawn Mower Man. Oh, oh, oh, it's almost too rich, almost too sweet. What about the Lawn Mower Man? You know, I saw that in the theater that the, I've only seen it once. It's not that great. It's not that great. Isn't it like kind of, he gets sucked into the computer or something? Something like that. Also, did you see the tweet about if Jesus, Joe Rogan, if Jesus comes back, maybe he's AI? It's fine. It's really fine. It was like, to wrap it up. But you know what though? He knows his audience. His audience is like, it's the A1. He's A1, 5G. Like what? I don't know. He'll just, who knows? Girl. Just serious. Ro Jogan. Okay. So what's up? Oh, so November 1st, I woke up. I said, it's time. Went down to the CVS and bought all the leftover Halloween candy. Thrifty 70% off. You love it. Sour punch straws. Mambas. Mambas. You know Mambas? Mambas. Tell me you didn't get non-parails. No, no, no. High chews. Ooh. Starburst. Starburst. And a bunch of Snickers. I got them all stacked away in the grocery, in the pantry for a rainy day. Why don't you freeze them? That candy will keep me going for three years. No, but honestly months. I'll be like, I'll have this candy too. Because the Halloween candy is good and it's all individual small pieces. A little sweet treat. A portion control. Sure. And that way I only have 16 small pieces. You know, you digest it better if you keep the wrapper on. It goes right through you. Of course. Of course. You get the satisfying chew, but none of the calories. Right. Can I talk about the medical mystery? Please. I had to go to a urologist. Oh, God. I had to go to a urologist and they had to do a... A trigger warning. They had to do... I'm going to be honest, this is pretty graphic and I wasn't sure if I would share, but I thought... They told me at the urologist's office that this is really common and people get it done all the time. So I don't feel that crazy. Maybe somebody knows. They had to do a... I forget what it's called, but they put a camera up your pee hole. The sound. Into your bladder. So first they put a numbing gel in my pee hole, then they clamped the end of it with like a chip clip. Right? And I'm just laying there. They clamped the pee hole. Yeah. I'm just laying there and they're kind of like, you know, the girl at the front desk says, you know, so you are. I'm like, great. Perfect. The girl wants to come in and look at your pee hole. Is that okay? Oh yeah. And so they went to the urologist and after they pulled out the brown glove, they said, huge fan, huge fan. Um, the brown glove. So, um, then when it's all numb, he comes in, he goes, you know, this is actually, the whole thing's like 90 seconds. He was like, it's not really painful. He said there's one part of it. Well, if you don't relax, it will hurt more. Mary, that's... So the camera gets to what you call the bladder sphincter, which is like another butthole. And what do I do? I tense, it's shocking. So I just go, it gets up there and I go, I go, I'm not kidding. I go, ah, ah, ah, and he goes, okay, okay, okay. When you get nervous about this, you're gonna close, but naturally it's not that tight, so if you just relax, the camera will just go in. And he was right. The second try just was like, I was like, play dead. No matter how much it hurts, play dead, and it just went, it was perfect. Okay, but that is a situation where you need to use a strategy. Like, don't worry, it's not gonna cut it. Relax is not gonna cut it. He was right though. Yeah, no, I know that he's right. Is this fake to response? You nervous, you tight. Totally, but saying don't be nervous, what am I gonna do? I'm gonna get nervous. And I laid there on the table and I thought, if I leave now, I'm not being good to myself health-wise if I just dip out on this, so I'm just gonna do it. So I'm laying there with no pants on and the tube is up the penis. I'm like not looking, I'm like staring at it. I'm like, I'm dissociated. And they bring the screen over and they go, look, and they show me my bladder, I'm looking at my bladder on twitch.com. They're live streaming it. You start to get hard. And I get with the thing in there. It could happen. No. People do it for pleasure. And I'm so ran through that, like them handling my penis, even in medical environment, I like that wasn't touching my penis in medical environment. I don't care. I'm not nervous about like a doctor sink, do whatever you need to do. You're a body doctor. Which you want with my body. Also, I'm not, when I was younger, I think I was like, oh, an STI test. Now I'm just like, swab it, do whatever you need to do. I respect your process. Break a Q-tip off in my ass. And I said, do you guys do this a lot? They said, are you kidding me? We had five before you got here and we'll have like 15 more today. This happens, we do this all the time. So I was like, great. Honey, you are not special. Or not special. A little scary, but like I said, the whole thing in and out was 90 seconds. But you know what though, 90 seconds could feel like 90 minutes. But can I say, this was the first time in my life I've had a foreign item wiggling around in my body that wasn't like that. You feel a little camera in your bladder. I don't doubt that. So he's showing me, he brings a TV vor, and I'm looking at the walls of my bladder, and I'm going, oh, I'm looking at my own bladder. Okay, okay, okay. And luckily it looked normal. It was just bladdery. If you Google a bladder, you know that weird kind of fleshy, peachy, yellowy color with like very small veins? That's what it looks like, it looks like a bladder. That's why I'm gonna see a picture. So it was normal, luckily, but it was like, oh God, oh God. I don't love it. I don't love that. Don't wish it on people. And it was bad, but you gotta take care of yourself. I guess. What the fuck is that? Oh yeah, we won an award. One of that fucking show up. It's literally today. I know, congratulations. I'll grab it. Congratulations. Excuse me, what? This is not true. Look at that. Oh, I'm on a podcast of the year. Is this real? Yeah, I'm gonna take this to my Eyes Wide Shut party tonight. People who like could use Grindr voted us the pod of the year. This is like, I'm sorry, Grindr's real, real gaze. These are real gaze. I worked for them. Ran through dolls. $40 a month. My Grindr pod. Does that get me every subscription? No. Should we say something? Say what? I mean, can we accept it? Grindr, can I- I can't do a speech. Yeah, please, please. Speech, speech, speech, speech. Wow. I never thought this would happen. After years and years of paying for Grindr extra, which I think is $785 a month now, I think that I bought this. This maquette means the world to me. I beat Meryl. Thank you so much, you guys. She's right, my $800 a month. It's huge. And it's heavy. You could beat someone to death with this thing. Low hangers. This award is a low hanger. This could be a ball stretcher. You know what I mean? You could also- It does have two holes. Hello. You guys- You guys stomp and then you- On the Patreon, which you don't know we have, we don't have one. On the Patreon. Can we fuck this award? Did you guys watch that? If we two-timed each took, we fucked this award. You know what I just had the strangest vision of? What? Doing the whack-a-mole through the weenie hole through there and put somebody else on the other end with a lighter. Honestly, my pubes are so long right now. In the event that they could get burned off, everybody would be a winner. That's tea. Do you understand? Like, do you understand that for them to put the, put the camera on my pee hole, they had to do like chip clips of their hair. Like the hair had to be swept back. Oh, baby. I'm so sorry. It's okay. You know, being an adult means having to go to the doctor and be uncomfortable, but you have to take care of yourself. If you think something's up, you gotta take care of yourself. This is true, but I mean, I don't wish cameras up the pee hole on anybody. I mean, I have friends who fully love to sound. Sounding, yeah. It's a little, it's a- Nitty, I love that. I don't want to yuck anybody's yum. I do. Be careful though. Be careful. That particular thing is horrifying to me because like you said, I think it's like also- But we're putting things up the butt. Is it really different than up the pee hole? Yes, it is. Can you fit two fifths up your pee hole? But they're not sounding with fists. No, they're sounding with knitting needles. They should take those metal straws. My pee hole is exit only. Right. Traditional. Yeah. But no, no, no. So like I, oh God, what I- The gaze they're so ran through, that's the gay version of straight women being like, I don't do anal. For the gaze, if you don't sound, it's like, oh vanilla. Alliana. Yeah. Yeah, I mean, I just, when people say relax, I tense up. Right. They would have to use some kind of reverse psychology. Yeah. Out of van. Yeah, probably. Why didn't they drug you? They don't drug people. The type of inflammatory disease I have with my stress and autoimmune disorders, things just happen when I get stressed out. I'm flupist too. No, and so I think what's going on is what I'm getting to, I think it's just the symptoms of my body getting tense and involuntary systems getting out of whack, which I think is, it's occurring, but no matter what, part of adulthood, you got to go to the doctor and you got to get it checked out. Yeah. And you got to let those medical students walk in the door and look. I did not do that. That's happened to me. When I went from my, you know, they're like, this is definitely that. We have some med students in the hallway. Can they come and look? And I was like, no, no, no. Not today. But they were streaming. Live streaming doctor's appointments. They were one on top of the other, like through the crack in the door. The day after the day, April is a dangerous time for me because the second the weather gets even a little flirtatious, I start behaving like a woman of a certain age who has simply had enough. Suddenly, I need a spring trip, a trip where I need soft pants, dark sunglasses, and a destination where I can walk around at golden hour pretending I have secrets. That is the power of April. It thaws the pavement, reawakens my allergies, and fills me with the completely irrational confidence of someone who thinks a weekend away will fix everything. So this spring, I'm planning a trip to Savannah where I found a home on Airbnb that is draped in both moss and charm. I want cobblestone little squares. I want to drift around in the spring sunshine like an ant who's on an eat, pray, love trip that includes grits and barbecue. I want to do some light strolling and maybe buy an impossibly impractical piece of jewelry in a local boutique. And at night, I want to sit down to a dinner that is so good, it makes me briefly forget pretty much everything. This is the kind of trip where you need to place that matches the fantasy. That's why I love booking stays on Airbnb because when I travel, I do not want to be crammed into a hotel room with a view of a parking lot. I want a real place to stay. I want a living room where I can decompress after a long day of wandering around and judging Southern architecture. I want a kitchen for snacks, a table for my frosty beverages and enough space to dramatically collapse on the floor like Julia Roberts and something to talk about. And if I'm traveling with friends, it's even better because then we can all stay together instead of scattered down different hallways in a hotel. And of course, once I start planning one trip, my brain immediately escalates. Suddenly, I'm looking at Carmel next, then Malta, then Hokkaido Island, a little ocean air, some seafood and maybe even a long walk where I pretend I'm processing something deep when really I'm just thinking about Russian pop music. Whether it's one quick spring reset or the beginning of a full warm weather spiral, trips just feel more personal when you book through Airbnb. Poppity brings you pop culture like you've never heard it before. Because let's be real. You don't just want the tea, you want it served with fries on the side. I'm Christy Cook from Spillsage. And I'm Sloan Hooks. Together we're diving deep into the drama, the nostalgia and the headlines everyone's talking about. Each week, we're breaking down celebrity drama, viral trends and Hollywood's most talked about moments. Plus, in our Gossip on the Go segment, we will sit down with your favorite influencers and reality stars over their go-to meals because the best stories, they always come with extra sauce. We're bringing you the debates, the drama and the nostalgia you really care about. It's more than a podcast, it's a pop culture community. This is Poppity. Oh! Heated rivalry. Do you know about it? No, I mean, the memes online I've seen. So there's this hockey show. I understand that, I think it's the lesbian's new jerk off show. Well, it's based on, I ordered all the books, it's based on books by a woman author. The cover art is a little suspicious. It's giving YA, it's giving YA a picture book, it's giving YA like nine to 12 age range. Like it's so bad. But Connor, story, so there's a Canadian actor and then there's an American actor, he plays a Russian guy. And his Russian accent is good, his Russian is not great. But that's how I knew he was a Russian. But his ass is huge and lovely. Okay. Jason Momoa, who cares anymore? Jason who? Right. That Jason being deleted from the phone as we speak. Literally he's being like, he's got his like walking papers and he's like off my phone. This motherfucker's ass is so big. Yeah. Well, congratulations. Well, I'd love to watch it. I actually- You'll be proud of me because I've been watching a lot of stuff and you know I don't watch a lot of TV and movies, but it was the holidays. And when you were family, you really have nothing to do but all sit and watch this. What did you watch? I watched this amazing documentary called The Joneses. It's about this trans woman who lives in Mississippi who has a family and she lives in a trailer and she's like a woman who transitioned later in life. And she's gorgeous, long legs, beautiful face. And it's, seeing- How later in life? Seeing older trans women with families and like- How later in life? Thriving and living like a normal, comfortable life. How later in life? Like 73. She looked amazing. There's hope. Her name was Jerry, J-H-E-R-I. I believe when she was male, her name was Jerry. So she switched it up. But she has four kids. She lives with three of her adult sons. Supportive, like nice family. They do her makeup and everything. Dysfunctional, but not more than normal family. And I don't know, seeing like an older trans woman living the life of just a woman that age with the same things in a way. She's just like planting her tomatoes. Love it. A lot of the movie was her putting on like workout clothing and like strutting around her trailer. Oh, that would be me. It was a hundred and I just like I loved it. I thought it was very beautiful film. That's fantastic. Great. Then I watched, it was great. It was great. Great. No, I meant it was great. Then I watched something about Disclosure, the Alien movie, the new documentary about aliens. Okay. So I was, yeah, this came up at the holiday table as well. And I watched it. Talk about it. Well, I was watching it with, I can say now, my boyfriend. Oh, wow. Oh my God. And he loves, where's the confetti? And we did talk about this on my channel, but I think I should mention it here. Yes. This is news to me. I mentioned it here. It's been going on for quite a while. Let's just say, let's just say I fucked him. Let's just say you're enjoying my sloppy seconds. So whatever. Could you imagine? Not like it hasn't happened. Do you remember that? Oh, Mary, don't even get me stuck to my... Do you guys know about this? We, no, no, we shall... I think we can... We will talk about it off camera. I don't want to get that person... I keep saying we have a paywall. We don't have one. We will talk about this behind our paywall, baby. When the ad-free version of this drops and it will, the deepest grossest sex story we share will be only what, $4? That's how low rent we are. You want to hear the worst sex thing that's ever happened to us? It's $3.50. Our one degree of separation sexually will cost four. It's gonna cost two gold shillings and a piece of gum. High dollar. Well, congratulations. Oh, thank you. By the way... As you all know, he's amazing. He's gorgeous. You don't deserve him. I know, but I just want everybody here. I said it on the channel too, I have really learned, as you all can imagine, the value of keeping this part of your life to yourself. Yeah, well, I mean, what about me with those medical students? You know, I keep my herpes to myself. Girl, there should be a class where they just cut your body open and show things. It'll be like, crunch the future. They'll just pull out organs and go... Five years from now. No, I think he should be alive. Oh. They show it and you go... And then they put it back in. They pull out the lung, it's black. Mary, you know, if I have general anesthesia for operation, I'm waking up and going... Go right back. Okay, so glad you're... So he loves aliens, so we're watching it and he's watching... We're watching the documentary and every time they say something, he's... Blanket covered around up to the head and every time they say something, family all around, we're watching this movie, every time they say something like, and that's when I had confirmed that it was an alien body, he would just go, hello. Hello. So like every eight minutes when somebody... Cause these are all X, like F, not FBI, whatever it is. Military. They worked in the military and these are people who've seen, what are they called? UAPs, unidentified alien piece. No, it's not alien, but I know what you're talking about. Yes, the U of the like, this is not the term. This sounds more legit. Yes, and these people, all from different areas of government, areas of government, they don't even all know each other, but they're all telling similar stories of seeing something and being encouraged to keep it secret. Is it unidentified air? Unidentified anomalous phenomenon? Okay, yes. It's just pretty broad. And every time they confirm something like this, I just hear, hello. Hello. And I do think they're dubious aliens and I think there are probably already here and they're just hiding out. Well, that's Mary. That brings me to my next point. Charlize. Bougonia. Oh, watched it. I watched it. You did not. Oh my God. Yes, I did. And that will also be on the Patreon. And that will be another $3. You did not watch Bougonia. Yes, I did. And you know why I watched it? Why? Because I knew you would watch it. Oh, baby. What did you think? Mary, I lived. You lived? Well, okay, here's the thing. The electrocution scene was really shocking. So I knew. Oh my God. Scary, the screaming. The electrocution scene was really shocking. It was shocking. I didn't know. I didn't think about that. It was. That is so funny. It was. I didn't even get it. The land, Honey, the land. Oh, shit. It was scary. But I knew. So I knew. Why did you know? Because I read the wiki. Oh, come on. Because somebody told me. I didn't read the wiki because I wanted to be able to for myself read the ride. Does it make sense? Of course. Courtney Chide, Courtney, literally for like the last four weeks, Courtney Act was like, have you watched Bougonia yet? I'm like, no, stop harassing me. I had a blocker. And then so I, I read the Wikipedia. I don't, I never do that. I never do that. But I was like, I'm going to, I was like, oh, whatever. When I watched the movie, I was still shocked. Here's what the wiki is good for. The wiki is good for, let's say you're cooking while watching a movie and you're like, I miss a plot point. Pause it. Go read up to that point to make sure you've got all the information with Andrew. He Wikipedia is every movie he watches while watching it. Yes. Love it. You know, just turn it off. I do like to watch. I mean, I love Jesse Plemons. Jesse Plemons eats in everything. Love such a phenomenally talented actor. Oh my God. Tracks. Love the tracks. The scene where they're at dinner. And it's sort of the political part of the movie where he's saying he's been through every side of political affiliation and she's kind of reveals that she knows who he is. She deduced that that was his mother. We're rooting the movie. I'm sorry. Yeah. Big time spoiler, big time spoiler. Alicia Silverstone. Always happy to see her. And you know, she's such hardcore vegan. She was like, you know, she's like, I'll play the woman that a corporation kills. You know, of course. And that scene, love Alicia Silverstone. She was in the air floating on this. Like amazing. Yeah. The performances and God, they just all eat. The only stick gentleman who plays the brother. Incredible. I looked him up. I think this is his first film. Incredible. He was so good. But Ms. Emma Stone, I know it like she's got 13 Oscars already, but give her another one because that hoe is. Forget everything you know about Lala Land. Mama Lala who? Exactly. Lala Ri. Lala Lala. Like she just, she nails everything. She really eats. She's like, like that whole, she, she nails that like shitty time base. The scene where she's in the corporate apology and then starts over. Yeah. Diverse. There's too much diversity. It was like, it's just so funny. She's so just pitch perfect. I, because of the level of movie, I was like, there's no way she's not going to be an alien at the end. Right. That was my tip. That's kind of what I figured. And that I was like, I was not shocked to have that be confirmed. And I was still as surprised because I knew like, I knew nothing about the set piece of like what happens in the end, which was riveting. Um, what about the cast or the, the, the castration, the chemical castration? Love. Love. I've done it. I love when he goes, well, we thought you'd might try to seduce us. So we both came to the cast and she goes, oh shit. That's when she realizes like this is for real. Electrication was crazy. Yeah, it was, but then shocking, but she, I was, I love that he was like, oh my God, your majesty. I'm so sorry. And they gave her a wig. He gave her a wig. She gives her, he gives her a wig once she realizes she's, so she doesn't have to be bald. Members, when she goes back to the office, she has a wig on. Oh, that's right. That's so crazy. You need to read the Wikipedia. I did. That was a vanity unit. That was a Wigs by Vanity unit. That was a Miss Australia. Miss Sweden. Miss Sweden. Stage lace. It was a great movie. I loved it. The, the end was, I was like, hello. That was you at the end. Hello. Hello. I'm just trying to bust out of an ambulance, get to my office to teleport to my homeland. Girl, I still be, I still be staying healthy. Remember when I told you when I started driving again, I'd say hi in the car a lot, cause I'm not used to being in the car alone. And I'm still, I'm turned out of the freeway going, hello. Hi. Other cars. Hey. Hey. Get outta here. You cock a duty. In the car alone is, it's creepy. It's creepy booze. No, it's not. It's not what it's like. You know what I do in the car? I'm doing Grammy's performances. Right. I'm doing Grammy's. I'm Sabrina Carpenter. I'm Karen Carpenter. Right. The grannies. The grannies. I'm giving vocal performances. I'm doing master classes like Christina Aguilera. Vocal performances. I'm giving octave ranges. Right. Hey, I'm Mike Berenholz. On my new show, Funny You Ask, trivia starts the conversation and then things immediately go off the rails. I ask a question. My guests think they know the answer. Sometimes they do. More often they do not. And then the conversation takes a turn. One trivia question turns into stories about career highs, painful bombs, and behind the scenes moments that probably should have remained private. You'll hear confidence, misplaced confidence, bold guesses, wrong answers, quick laughs, and the slow realization that maybe this was a bad idea to say out loud. If you like smart comedy, sharp conversations, and trivia that exists purely to melt people's brains, this is Funny You Ask with me, Ike Berenholz. Follow Funny You Ask with Ike Berenholz on Spotify, Apple Podcast, or wherever you listen to podcasts. Welcome to Monet Talks with me, your girl Monet Exchange, a weekly podcast where the only thing haunted them to tea is our top exorlin. Every single Thursday, we'll be bringing you candid interviews, fun segments, and games, featuring a dazzling array of guests, including fellow queens, other celebrities, pop culture icons, friends, and maybe even an ex-boyfriend, or four. Ha ha ha ha. To watch the podcast in studio, see exclusive content, and get a glimpse of what goes on behind the scenes, head over to youtube.com slash ad Monet Exchange official, and tell all your friends you can listen to Monet Talks completely free on Spotify, Apple Podcast, or anywhere else you get your podcasts, period. I also watched, there's a lot of movies I watched. Madam, did you watch this? Madam. This is a Tony Collette film. Heidi Fleiss? This is a Tony Collette film. Her and her husband play rich upper echelon socialites who are American who live in Paris. No. And they're hosting a dinner party, and they realize there's 13 chairs, and she's like, I can't do that. Right, Tony Collette's like this complete bitch. She's like, I can't have that. She goes to her maid and is like, go put on a nice dress, don't tell the people here that you're a maid, we need 14 guests. Just drink a little bit, don't talk much, shut up, but we need 14 chairs. And she accidentally charms the pants off of this super rich guy that's at the dinner. And they start dating. And he doesn't know who she is. And Tony Collette's like, I can't believe this. It's like, the reveal is at the end, he's like so in love with her, and she's worried that he's gonna like dump her. And Tony Collette tells him that she's the maid, and he does dump her. And then she quits the job and leaves. But it teaches her that I'm not that different than these people. Hello. And these people suck. And she's like, I'm wearing them. Basically the subtext being like, I had a maid's outfit on telling myself, I'm not as good as these people. I am as good as these people. I'm better than these people. And that guy sucks and I'm leaving it, she quits. Great. It was a great movie. And the actress who played her, this woman, she's a Spanish model and actress who has like a million awards, but I never seen her anything. And she is... Oh, I love Rossi Dupama. She has a very distinctive looking. Yes. Yeah, Big Nose. I was watching her. She's on the Dover, she's in like a movie. Okay, I love Big Noses on Women. Oh, she's incredible. And I'm watching her and in the movie, obviously, she's meant to be like not traditionally pretty. I believe Duckling. Yes. But I'm watching it and the family commentary is going around, I go, you guys, I bet she was a model. I Google it, she sure was. Oh yeah, Mugler. Yes. Also, she eats beautiful. She was up every scene she's in and all those I'm looking over her movies. And the red carpet. Yeah, she's so fucking funny. She's so funny. She's so funny. So fucking funny. Anyway, I'd never even heard of that movie. It's not just a Tony Colette film. The Gentleman who plays her husband it was his last movie before he died, he died, I believe. What was his name? Harvey Coutel. Oh. He's her husband. So, I was weaning the piano. And Tony Colette, I never get to see her be like a true cunt. She's really a cunt in that movie. Oh, wow. Is there anything she can't do? This is part where she reads the nurse, the maid down and tells her to go to bed and then all the party is like, you're embarrassing yourself, you don't belong here, whatever. Oh, that would have been a good one. And then before the girl walks away, she goes, you look really pretty in lipstick. Oh, wow. Cunt. Cunt. Hello. Hello. Hello. It was a great movie. You know, sometimes when you let, when it's not your house and you're at the mercy of what other movies people pick, you can be surprised. Things you never thought of or never knew about. And you go, oh, The Jones, I would have never picked this independent documentary about a trans woman in Mississippi, loved it. Loved it. Also, Harvey Keitel isn't there. Thank you, we need still talk today. You know what, you know what I love about Harvey Keitel, his large shlong, I love him in Dustil Dawn. Think about it, think about it, think about it. And that's what the community's kind of afraid to talk about. You know what I can't get out of my head? What? Selma Hayek in her pool, swimming with the bikini in those large breasts. You know what I'm talking about, on your Instagram? Oh yeah. You know what I'm talking about. And you did it at my birthday party. I just watched that. Girl, that's so weird. In all this, on all this cinema, I was like, should I rewatch that? No, it came out. All this Oscar cinema, Bagonia into that video? I mean, it's apples and orange. Hello. Bagonia could never. Bagonia could never. I'll see you at the Oscars Tati. I'm ready for some sort of cock at my birthday dinner. I'm ready for some kind of Itania movie about like 2016 Arab scene. Sandra Bullock Tati. Who's playing Tati, Sandra Bullock? Yeah. Right? Bring it on. Okay, who's playing James Charles? Maybe himself. No. It's gonna be Tim the Chalmé. Oh, of course. Tim the Chalmé. Tim the Chalmé. And he can do it too. He's got the range. He can do everything. He's motivated. Sandra, Sandy Bullock is Tati or Liz Hurley. And I think Emma Stone is Jeffrey. Right? 100%. Yeah. And there's gotta be that. Do you know, would you follow that account, Head Very Empty, where it's- The swing? The swing? Do I follow that account? Pull up in the Sri Lanka. Are you kidding me? They're in the red track suits. Head V Empty on Instagram. Everybody needs to follow Head V Empty. Every day. Every day. Every day. It's like my pill. And RuPaul running through the field? Yeah. I got it. I have a shirt, though. Got my red dress on tonight. Did you see the new Drag Race promo? I, okay, so let's talk about that. RuPaul says like, it says in shady times, like let there be light. Let there be light. RuPaul's in this glowing dress. Ready, set, glow. I was like, we do need this. We need Drag Race in these tying times. Yes, we do. Do you know what was going through my head the entire promo? How pretty I was. Three words. I could never. Baby. I don't care. Do some of those girls were hit? The idea that you had to self-evaluate if you could. Some of those girls were hitting tore down in the face, obviously. But every single one of them was wearing an outfit that I could never dream of acquiring. Yes, you could. Designing or even sourcing. You don't care. I do care. That's why it hurts me. Right. Can I say, I don't know when. I was just looking. This isn't the Drag Race case. I'm more Ru. She's wearing a little purple off the shoulder thing from Tellos. She might not even be in the picture. No, but I mean, she was there. Yes. Yeah. Like when we did the All Stars promo, I remember she was there like the day before. We never saw her. She shoots her own day. Oh no, she's not gonna be there with you guys. Yeah. No, no. I would need her. She's running through the parking lots with the shoes singing Annie. You're gonna get in drag ahead with Thorgy. Got your mind. Great. The craziest thing happened on that. I think I talked with this on my channel, but that photo shoot for All Stars 3 was gold. Yeah. Thorgy brought a yellow feather dress and was mad when they were like, this isn't gold. They didn't style you? No, we brought our own. She bought a yellow feather dress and they were like, this isn't gold. And she was like, what? It's yellow. Let it mellow. It was David, David LaChapelle shot that, right? We had, I think we shot our own on an iPhone. What's with that? Mary, what's with the All Stars 2 promo? No, no, no, no, no, there was no promo. We didn't have promo. What is it? It was queen, faggot queen. Faggot queen. It was like royal. It was boo boo. We didn't really have it. We didn't have a commercial. Amazing television though. You guys didn't need it. Best season, no promo. Maybe they watched it and thought we don't need it. It's just good. Yeah, horrible. I mean, do you know where my, who looked cunt? I actually think Roxy looked really beautiful. Is your dress literally from like ASOS? Yep. Not ASOS, it's something better. AliExpress. Detox, I think won that challenge. She looks incredible. I think y'all look fucking chopped. A1 had a bit of a vent in. I would have said let Gemini take a draft at y'all. Nasty girl. Nasty girl. Best season of television ever though. Nasty take your clothes off. Best season of drag race ever. I cannot wait till you and I can someday do a recap of All Stars 2. I've been wanting to watch it so bad. You are so good at that shit. I, you know what? I'm not the type of person who like peeked in high school, always reliving my glory days. You know, tipping cows. You certainly didn't peek in high school. You were drinking vampire. You were being, you were in red leather vampire pants. I would have been doing acid peeking. I would have peeked in high school. No. Peaked. Peaked at what? I peeked through the hole. Peaked at men in the shower? Yeah. Rubbing the skin off. Oh my God. No, but I don't like, I'm not the type of person to relive my glory days. Still waiting for them to happen. But like, I agree. Just amazing television. It was the best. It was the best. It was so good. You guys just were just amazing. I'm so glad. I'm so glad I didn't get eliminated at the third episode though. Best TV ever. Yeah. Riveting. The moment when the mirror, people are back there. I just, I fantasize about it. Yeah. I fantasize about it. Wait. I got two words for you. Typingclub.com. That's not a word. Type in club. So typing club. You know how my secret shame, hunt and peck. Uh-huh. Don't know how to type. Mary asked me what I did the other day. 70 words per minute, 100% accuracy. Eat my ass. Seven? 70. 70? That's very, very, that's very out of character. Are you an Adderall? No, I'm, no, I couldn't, that is like, that's like, A lot of characters a minute, no complete words. No words. No words. No words or sentences. But a lot of pushing. But full disclosure, no capitals. No capitals. That's given me a big, big. But that's on Twitter. You turn off the auto caps on stand. I'm doing periods though. And I'm doing semicolons periods comes. I just, the capitals are really killing me. Cause you gotta go. You gotta choose the shift of the shift. I know and I don't like it. That's okay. But Mary, I was, I just cruising and it's so satisfying. Like I haven't learned to do anything in so long. Do you want to write another book? Nope. But I could, I could dictate somebody else's book or write somebody else's book. You want to be a stenographer. That's what I want. You put 17 years into drag to go be a court stenographer. And we get a brown wig, breast implants, real. Marcia Cross. Little. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Is that her name? Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Wait a minute. Marcia Cross, Sarah Paulson, all's fair. You, Ryan, where Ryan Murphy and those ladies are doing to us is something hitherto undid on television. They are trolling us so hard. Why are you feeding into it? No, no, no, no, I'm not feeding into it. I saw a clip on Twitter. Don't stare into the abyss. No, no, no, this is not the abyss. This is the most dazzling car crash you've ever seen in your life and nobody dies. This is, Sarah Paulson has a monologue, talking to Glenn Close about her pussy, her cat. You sent it to me and as soon as she said pussy, I turned it off. Oh, it's, I'm sorry, but I'm gonna make everybody listen to it because- She's getting her star, I believe, Sarah Paulson. She just got it? It's so unhinged. It's a level of unhingedness that is just like, I was incredulous the whole fucking time. Did Sarah get her star? Yeah, she got it. She really is, you know what? Jokes aside, she's an incredible actress. I love her. Reminds me of my pussy. My kitty cat who died when I was five. Mrs. Pussy. She had feline aids. Excuse me, but you're not comparing the loss of your cat to her husband, 40. A child's grief can be just as profound. My pussy was my whole world. Okay, can I say- And when my pussy died, I kept her in my bed for days stroking her and talking to her. Of course, my mother, she got so angry. Stop playing with your pussy car. She yelled. But I refused to, even when my pussy started smelling really bad and got really crusty, I just stayed locked in my room grieving in private because I just couldn't let go of my pussy. You need to put this in a lip sync. Please stop saying the word pussy. And I promise you will get through this. You know, it wasn't easy for me either, but eventually I learned how to soothe myself without touching my pussy. Going into pussy. Pussy, my pussy, my pussy, my pussy. I went into the cab raiding, how she turned to me and say, let's do that whole mouth. Oh my God. That is so crazy. It is. That is so fucking crazy. It is, it really is crazy. I also have been listening to some new music, Orville Peck's new album is out. She is one of our friends, but I, She's a crooner. Amazing singer. And of course we've seen her on stage and I have both of his first albums. And then the other ones I kind of cherry picked. This one I was on a long drive and I just put it on. He's beautiful for you. He's just a great artist. Orville, congrats girl. Congratulations. And unrelated and inappropriate. I had a sexual dream about him the other day. Okay. What happened? I fucked him in his huge butt. Let's take a break. Finally you called a break. My pussy, crusty. So that is the Ryan Murphy and the girls are having fun, I think. Listen, I, the other day, I needed a Sarah Paulson fix and I watched a bunch of clips of apocalypse. Cause I love to watch Sarah Paulson in anything. Yeah. And what I loved about apocalypse of American Horror Story was, it was the season where all the seasons are kind of converging. It's murder house, it's COVID, it's this. And so they're all playing their characters from other seasons, but they all have facial blindness when they're like, who are you? And I'm like, well, that's the, that's the supreme in a different wig. Like I love that. I love it. So drag. It is so drag. There's this part where it's like the bitch is small Christmas. Medicine, medicine Montgomery turns and she's like at the murder house and she's like, and who the fuck are you or whatever? And she's like, I forget what the, the medium's name is. Who's from murder house, but it's Sarah Paulson. And she's a medium. And I'm like, but that's the supreme who you saw earlier. That's Sarah Paulson. And I love the fantasy. And then like Jessica Lang shows up as the Constance from season one. And she's like, there's a motherfucking house. You know, whatever she does. Blanche D'Evore of smoking commercial. And then when they're like, who are you? I'm like, well, that's the Scribbling with Cancer who died two years ago. You don't recognize the girl. She's on the call sheet. Girl. I'm like, y'all need to get your eyes checked. Ryan Murphy's diabolical. Love it though. Oh, I do too. At this point I'm like, go girl, do it. Do more. Fuck it up. Fuck it up. Eat it. Eat it. Shit on him. Oh, I watched several Christmas movies already. What do you watch? Well, I don't want to overshare too much. Have you seen Scrooge by the way? Yes. Oh, that's my favorite Christmas movie. I'm writing a Christmas movie right now. I've never gotten to write a movie, but you know, you and I have watched so many Christmas movies at Netflix that I've gotten weirdly empowered because the bar's in the basement. Girl, the bar's not even there. I'm in a writer. There's no writer. But I like Christmas movies. The world is so bad that I think I've reached a point where I want to watch a formulaic, predictable Christmas movie. Is it like a lifetime or Netflix or like a, like a Revran or like what? There's really good Christmas movies, right? Like, Scrooge, I would say Elf, The Grinch. Those are like good, amazing. Christmas story. Yes, but I'm more interested in, and then there's the top tier made for TV kind of herb-seasonal Christmas movies. Such a... I'm interested in what's a little bit below that. Okay. Anything starring Jonathan Bennett. Who the fuck is that? Aaron Samuels from Mean Girls. He's been in, I think I counted 12 Christmas movies. The King of Christmas. And I watched a movie that I thought I was gonna make fun of and hate. But you love it. And I sat down to be like, fucking gay movies. I love fucking gay movies. I love bad Christmas movies. I love bad gay movies. The two come together. The clit. The clit. Carved. Fucking chip clip on the clit. Krusty pussy. Love it. Krusty pussy. Dead pussy in bed. So this movie stars Kristen Stewart. Yeah, stars Kristen Stewart. And who plays her girlfriend? She's a beautiful actress. Mackenzie Davis. Incredibly beautiful. Oh, I know this one. So they're girlfriends. And I had no idea what this movie was about. And I've been working on my Christmas shit. And I was like, let's just go watch Christmas movies. Get me in the mood while I'm working on my Christmas shit. Working out with Jennifer from Netflix. And I just wanna say, the hard thing to believe in this movie was that you're bringing home Kristen Stewart. And you're trying to pass her off as your roommate. Kristen Stewart is in like this unit color with like two hair clips. With like overalls? No, she's giving like grungy, cool, Tegan and Sarah. Okay. Emile girl. Gorgeous. Lilith's there. Yes. And Drop Dead gorgeous, but really giving gay. I love the idea of bringing home that level lesbian and being like, this is my roommate. Well, Mary, that's what my grandmother called my uncles, you know what, for the entire life. Well, it's like a old school thing. Yeah. His roommate. It was such a good movie. Really? Yes. It was so good. I had no idea it was gonna be so good that I, are we plazas in it? This sounds great. Jinx and Daylar in it. Ugh. Yeah. The drag queens were I really was like, this is too much. The mom is Mary. Steve. Steve Bergen. Amazing. Love her. She never misses. She's fun to watch her be mean. Love her. I love, I love Mary. This movie was so good. And I'd never seen it. Happiest season. Happiest season. It was the best. It was not only a good Christmas movie. It was one of the best gay movies I've ever seen. Well, that, that. Well, I don't think there's any good gay movies. Hilarious. Dan Levy, there's this runner where he's babysitting her fish and they're dead. Kills him. And so the runner is that he's spending the whole movie trying to be like, Hey, if I have a friend who wanted to get your exact fish, maybe the exact same size, where would you get those? Cause he's trying to like replace her fish. That should make me laugh. There's one whole scene where they're having a heart to heart and they zoom out and he's in a fish store holding two bags. Cause they're replacing the fish. The shit is so funny. I cried like three times. Cause this girl is in this family where her parents want her to be so perfect and the dad's running for office and the damage. And then really the takeaway is like, Alice and Breeze in this. These kids all just want their family, their parents. They feel like their parents love is conditional. And the, obviously the gay daughter feels that, the other two heterosexual siblings also feel that the story is more of like a cautionary tale of like parents making their children feel like their love is conditional and gay stuff fits in that. But it wasn't like a gay themed movie. It was like eating out. No. The lady bunny wasn't in it. The piss ballet. You know, did you know Brandon is in that? Yes. Another gay sequel. Yeah. There's a piss ballet in that. It went out. A yellow, like a golden shower ballet. Like you're singing in the rain. Jesus Christ. Wait, in this movie? No. No. Yeah. It's Kristen Stewart. I love Kristen Stewart. Clear stream. I love Kristen Stewart. Are you kidding me? I love Kristen Stewart. She's so pretty. The acting in this, I was like, is this my favorite Kristen Stewart movie? Baby. But you know what else is fucked up about me? What? There's nothing I fucking like more. I don't know what it is. If you ever go to a hotel and turn on the TV and turn on the cable, basic cable, Twilight will be on on some channel. And I always turned it on. If I hear those opening chords, I lay in that bed. It feels like pizza boxes. My shittiest bedspread. And I put both, I put my legs up in the air and I watch it. I watch Twilight. Like I travel. It's a little like the ring. Like I can't look away. I got seven days to watch the series. Like after I watch one, I have to watch all of them. Mary, if the Volturi scene, if the Volturi fight scene comes on, do you know that I take my glasses off, I take my eyes to the screen. Are you talking about the head pops off? Yes. I'm talking about the bloodless head fight. The bloodless decapitation. The blood, oh, I also love Dakota Fanning throws the baby in the fire. But where was, where's Oscar Edward? And neither I'm Volturi. I want those dead. I want the baby in the fire. Right. I also don't like that that whole fight happens. And then it's a, it's a, it's a psychic vision. I hate that. That's why I turned it off before that. For me, that's a real thing. Popping, popping heads like, I don't know what. Like a pesadispenser. Like weird. And then also like, what's his name? Um, uh, Martin Sheen, not Martin Sheen. That British guy? Who play like the leader of the Volturi? Yeah. What's his name? He's got that, that smirk, that gay smirk that it's so hammy. It's so hammy. And Dakota Fanning is so hammy. They're just hamming it up. Michael Sheen, uh, married to Kate Beckinsale, divorced of course. Father to Lilly Sheen. I love that shit. Are you caught up on dairy? I am. I gotta go. Don't, don't ruin it. I gotta watch this week's, don't ruin it. No, I'm not gonna, I, I, I'm not, I'm not, I'm not living. I'm not living. I think they have some really great set pieces, but. Did you think that Maddie was going to be alive? I knew it was a trick. Of course. He came out of a yellow tent. I was like, this is a raincoat. Girl, he came out looking like who done it? When the back of his head opened up, that was scary. Yeah. But I was like, I was like, when is this kid going to turn into the whatever? And I, I did think he was going to shoot his son. An accident. I'm living. I gotta watch this week's though. I'm living. Unpopular opinion or whatever. I don't care for this penny wise. I've never cared for, I think Bill Skarsgard is so talented, incredibly talented. I hate the design. I hate the look. I don't think it's scary. I think it's boo boo. I think it's too ornate. The big head just sees funny. It's not scary. I think Tim Curry was eating, eating, eating. Maybe we should end here because I have something to tell you. I went, I saw the scariest media I've ever seen. What? What? And I will tell you next week. I'll talk. Oh, that's a cliffhanger. $3. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Inspired by jet engine silences. The Dyson Hush Jet Purify has a great engine. The Dyson Hush Jet Purify powerfully purifies the entire room. Quietly. Capturing pollen, allergens, and pet dander. Removing odors and harmful gases such as NO2. Day and night. Hush Jet. Powerful, compact purification. That's quiet. Football fans, listen up. This April, buy and go to the FIFA World Cup final with Lenovo.com. Spend £499 or more and you could win two tickets to the FIFA World Cup 2026 final in New York. Plus return flights, hotel stay, and dinners. But remember, you must register for your chance to win. Enter now at Lenovo.com forward slash contest. Hurry. Competition closes April 30th. $3.4 trillion. That was Capital.com's trading volume in 2025, driven by a platform that encourages a considered measured approach from its users. 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