Episode 346: Five Things Kids Need Now Culturally with David and Sissy

Hey, call my wife. Calling UK wildlife. No, call my wife. Here's a cheese knife, Leicester. Voice assistance, not working for you. With BlackRock Investment Trust's hands-on investing, long-term approach to growth and regular dividends, you have a lot working for you. I live in Kent. Get to know BlackRock Investment Trust at blackrock.com. You have a lot working for you. Capital at risk, marketing material, BlackRock Investment Management UK Ltd. Authorized and regulated by the Financial Conduct Authority. Hey, parents. It's Sissy Goff. And David Thomas. And we are so excited to bring the capable tour your way this spring. We know parenting feels heavy right now and kids are carrying big emotions, big pressure, and a lot of stress. This night is about helping you move from panic to peace, giving you practical tools to help your kids manage big feelings and build real resilience. You'll leave encouraged, equipped, and reminded that your child and you are truly capable. Tickets are on sale now and going fast. So grab yours today at tprlive.co and we'll see you this spring. Hey friends, welcome to the Raising Boys and Girls podcast. I'm Sissy Goff. I'm David Thomas and we're so glad you've joined us for this conversation. Let's dive in. Okay, David, we are in two different locations. Tell them where you are and what's happening in your world as we're talking about what any of us need culturally. I am in Nashville, Tennessee and we are in the throes of what was originally supposed to be a snowstorm that turned into an ice storm that has translated to half our city is without power right now. We have trees down everywhere. We are thankfully in the midst of it getting to see evidence of one of my favorite things about Nashville, which is one of the reasons we're called the Volunteer State is I love seeing the evidence of how Nashville loves to take care of their neighbors. And so we've gotten to see beautiful evidence of that of people welcoming people who do have power welcoming people into their home and neighbors caring for neighbors in so many ways. People walking out in streets who own a chainsaw to help cut down trees to clear driveways and scraping off each other's cars, all the different ways that we get to see the evidence of what it looks like to be a good neighbor. I was going to say, which is something we need culturally that sense of community. I speaking of community, I am living in more than I usually do. I am in Kentucky. You know, years ago, we bought the lake house next to Hope Town for longevity of working at a little summer retreat and not sharing a bathroom with 18 girls every night. And so Kathleen and Aaron and Henry and Witt and I, when we have always wanted to be up here for snow and we heard that Kentucky was going to get more than Nashville, not realizing Nashville was getting ice. And so we piled in the car when I got back in town from speaking. We both got back in town and drove up here. And so I am missing everything happening in Nashville and just have been so heartbroken watching it all unfold. But I'm really grateful at the same time to be up here with my two favorite little guys and spending an hour plus sledding every day and cooking together and doing all the things. So it's been really fun. I've loved seeing the photos of that. The one glitch was that, you know, we talk a lot about our bad dogs around here and my bad dog decided to go ice skating literally went out on the lake, the frozen lake fell in and I was could not get down there was running down the hill screaming. And my brother-in-law was, I think, ready to jump in to get her and also their dog. And thankfully she got herself out. But, you know, all the things, all the things that we just, yeah, she tends to get into these days. So as we're talking about things that kids and grownups need, I had to borrow a lot of calm in front of my nephews, not to yell at her, because have we talked about her last incident New Year's Eve on the podcast? Have we talked about this? I think we have. Why don't you share that with us? Well, this dog that I am bananas about over Christmas, eight, two squares of dark chocolate, which evidently is the most toxic to dogs. And several nights later on New Year's Eve, as the ball was dropping and we were up here at the lake, I looked over and she had the little cup measuring cup that kids used to take liquid medicine and she had Henry's Tylenol cup in her mouth. And so Christmas was a trip to the emergency vet. There is not one here. So I was on the phone with poison control, pet poison control. I didn't even know it existed. And evidently, I said out loud to the pet poison control person who was so helpful. If this doesn't kill my dog, I might. And so Henry went to bed that night and prayed, please God, please don't let Daddy kill patches. Was really afraid. Bless his heart. So anyway, I had to borrow some of the calm. We're going to be talking about doing my own breathing as I was running down the hill to get her after she fell in the lake, because I didn't want Henry to think I was going to kill her again. But, you know, we're just we're just, I don't know, making it around here. She is still here, thankfully, for a lot of reasons, the ice and me. So, OK, let's jump into the real conversation to say we have at this point, I'm so grateful for all the conversations that we're having in the season and the series, David, because we've had some amazing people on that are going to be coming your way soon, talking about some really important things. And we've gotten to talk so far about what kids need emotionally. We've talked about what they need socially. And today we're going to zoom out and talk about what kids need culturally in the world they're growing up in right now. And even as we're having this conversation, not only has the ice storm been happening, but so many things that we're seeing play out in the news that are just heartbreaking and we need to know more than ever how to equip kids. Yeah, because here's the thing. I mean, culture shapes kids whether we want it or not. And if if we're not being really intentional, then culture will happily step in and take over. So we're going to walk through five things kids desperately need right now in this cultural climate we're living in and every one of them is something parents can offer. All right. First one is conversation. And I want you to think about this as you as parents becoming the primary source. Kids need parents to be their first and safest place for conversation, not the internet, not peers, not influencers. Yes. And we just finished a call, which you're going to get to here soon with our dear friends, Megan and Mary Flow from Birds and the Bees. So hang on because it's going to be such good information. And one of the things they talked about that I loved was relationship is protection for kids. And so we would circle back to that truth over and over and over. And and in all these years of David counseling, primarily boys and me girls, I have heard you so often, David, talk about the influences in media that impact boys and how boys look to these different athletes, celebrities in my world and in the Slake House that I'm living in with my two favorite nephews, my two favorite boys right now, we're talking a lot about Sean White and Mark Rober, which probably a lot of y'all are talking about them too. You are. Yes. And I would say out of all the years you've been talking about those things with boys, I haven't been talking about it as much with girls. Taylor Swift changed the game some, but I remember probably actually, I think it was during the pandemic that I heard the first girl, teenage girls say, I want to be an influencer when I grow up. And it's happening more than ever. I'm hearing so many girls talk about that. And you all, that's what we've got to remember. You know, I think we feel like we're watching influencers, but kids are too. They are watching, they're listening. And y'all, here's the deal. The influencers are really good at their jobs. They are influencing the kids that we love. Yeah. I hear so many boys say they want to be a professional YouTuber. Henry Weber said it last night. I know. My first thought always is let's aim higher. Yes. Yeah. You know, and on top of that, like we are currently living in this incredibly reactive culture, outrage, snap judgments, instant opinions and way too much anger. Yes. Kids are watching how we handle disagreement, emotions and uncertainty. And you all, I would guess some of you remember this story. And I want to say it again, because I feel like it is so important to talk about the culture that we're living in. And that is there is this couple that I have had the privilege of knowing for several years and they are brilliant and intentional and thoughtful and didn't really have a roadmap for who they wanted to be as parents. And so we get to talk every so often. And they came in one week and this dad, who was the CEO of his company, said that he had been to a seminar recently for CEOs. And he said the speaker said that a manager's job is to be the calmest person in the room. And he said, Sissy, it immediately made me think about home. And it made me think that a parent's job is to be the calmest person in the room. And you all, that's true. And it's to be the calmest person in the room when we're having conversations with them and when we're not, when they're listening, it's to be the calmest person in the room. And I might poke some here, but online too. I, we had even this week as I was posting about Nashville storms, which have been so impacting our world, the people that we love. Somebody got mad at me, David. I hadn't even told you this. Somebody called me tone deaf because I wasn't posting about something else. And, you know, we are all doing the best that we can to know how to help. And it is so important that the kids that we love see us cheering each other on more than criticizing each other. And we are living in a world of criticism, more than encouragement. And we need to keep calm so that we can be who we want the kids that we love to see. Yeah. I love that you told that story again. I don't think we can honestly get that reminder enough, Sissy, because calm parents create kids who feel safe. And we talk so often about how anxiety is contagious, but so is calm. Calm is contagious. And so calm, curious parents raise kids who are thoughtful, which we're going to come back to that later. When we ask kids questions and genuinely value their perspective, kids ask us questions and value ours. And then we get to create this relationship where conversation continues across development. Yes. The bottom line is if parents panic, kids shut down. If parents stay curious, kids open up and they continue to open up as they grow up. I love that. And conversation isn't interrogation. It's invitation. OK, let's just be honest for a moment. At our age, we can't remember what we had for breakfast. Or where we parked the car. Or our login information for literally anything. If a website asked me to create a new password, I immediately need a snack and a nap. That's why I love that little purple shop pay button. You know the one where you're checking out online and suddenly there it is like a beacon of hope, no digging for your wallet, no resetting your password for the fifth time, one tap and you're done. It's the best feature in the chaotic world of online shopping. And it's powered by Shopify, the commerce platform behind millions of businesses worldwide and 10 percent of all e-commerce in the US. From global brands to businesses just getting started, Shopify helps entrepreneurs build beautiful online stores with ready to use templates, AI tools that write product descriptions and built in marketing tools to help customers find you. Everything from inventory to payments to analytics is in one place, making life easier for business owners and shoppers like us who can't remember our passwords. See less carts go abandoned and more sales go with Shopify and their shop pay button. Sign up for your one dollar per month trial today at Shopify.com. Slash RBG. Go to Shopify.com. Slash RBG. That's Shopify.com. Slash RBG. OK, I've been doing a little spring reset with my closet lately. Fewer pieces, better materials, quality over quantity, which is how I accidentally discovered something life changing. I feel a little nervous. Quince makes a short sleeve Mongolian cashmere polo. Of course they do. Which means I am now in Quince cashmere year around. Winter cashmere sweater, spring, short sleeve cashmere polo. I'm basically waiting to see if they release beach cashmere. But truly, that's why I keep coming back to Quince. The fabric feels elevated, the fits are thoughtful and the pricing actually makes sense. Their spring pieces are lightweight, breathable, effortless, the kind of things you throw on and instantly look put together. And the materials, a hundred percent European linen, organic cotton, super soft denim. I had to double check the price. On that cashmere polo because it did not cost what I thought quality cashmere would. Quince works directly with ethical factories and cuts out the middlemen. So you're paying for quality, not brand markup. There is literally not a season Quince cannot accommodate. Refresh your spring wardrobe with Quince. Go to quince.com slash RBG for free shipping and 365 day returns. Now available in Canada too. Go to Q I N C E dot com. Slash RBG for free shipping and three hundred and sixty five day returns. Quince.com slash RBG. OK, so let's talk about what this looks like practically, because we always want to give you practical things you can do immediately with the kids that you love. So where we would start along these lines in terms of you being the source is to number one, ask open ended questions to the kids that you love. So what did you think about that? How did that make you feel as our friend, Kelly Corrigan, who we have had the honor of having on the podcast several times, she has a book called Tell Me More. That is a great statement to say over and over to the kids that you love. Tell me more, even if it's something that raises your hackles a little bit. It's a great statement to say with friends you love, with extended family you love. Tell me more works in so many different places. And you know, what is also happening? Another takeaway is that it allows kids to have opinions, even opinions that you don't share and, you know, we are let's acknowledge living in a politically charged time in our world. And I don't know that the subject of politics has ever crept into conversation in as many ways and as many places as it does in this particular time and moment. And, you know, there is all kinds of opportunity for us to get emotionally charged around these political conversations. And I think back to a conversation, actually, an experience I had several years ago during one of the presidential election seasons. And I went down to our lobby at Daystar to get a teenage boy I had been meeting with and as I walked into the waiting room, I could tell that a word being spoken, that he and his mom had just had an emotionally charged conversation. And I went to shake hands with this boy and with his mom and his mom looked up at me and said, we were hoping maybe we could meet together with you today. And I said, I'm great with that. If you guys are both good with that and they shook their heads and we got upstairs and he grabbed his backpack, they walked into my office, he put his backpack down. And I noted as he put his backpack down that it was covered in bumper stickers. Bumper stickers, promoting one particular presidential candidate that I knew with a lot of certainty from the time I'd spent with his family, his parents would likely not be supporting. And as the mom stepped into the conversation, she said, we're having a lot of disagreements about his cell phone right now. And we love to table those and if you would be willing to weigh in. And as they were tabling some of these concerns, this 15 year old boy pivoted and said, it was kind of like whiplash, how quickly it happened. He said, you know, we just disagree on this topic the exact same way we disagree about the election. And then he just launched into this monologue. And as he was talking, I looked over at his mom and I could see her jaw tightening. I could see her clenching her fist. I could tell she was experiencing a lot as he was engaged in this monologue. And my first thought was how in the world did we get from cell phone usage to the presidential election this quickly? But I realized as I watched all this unfold that he was simply baiting her. This didn't have much of anything to do with the presidential election. And as he continued to talk, she got as far as she could obviously go and said, enough, stop talking. And I went, OK, time out, gave the classic time out signal. We hit pause in the conversation. I said a couple of things. And then I said to this young man, you know what? I have not had a great chance to check in with just your mom for a while. So we're going to hit pause in this conversation. I'd like to spend a little time with her and then I want to spend a little time with you and he gladly exited the room and she apologized. She said, David, I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to yell in your office. She goes, I just get so worked up when he camps out on this topic. And I said, I can tell. And she said, went on to talk about all the concerns she carried about him embodying these opinions at this point in time. And I remember letting her talk for a while. And then I asked her this question. I said, what do you think he's wanting right now? And this wise, thoughtful mom, when she'd had a chance to regulate for a minute, just said, you know, he's just wanting to state his opinion. And I said, absolutely. And that is a strong desire for every adolescent. Like they're forming their identity. They are figuring a lot of life out. They are working their way through a lot of thoughts, a lot of emotions, a lot of growing and in all that growing and all of that sorting through and all that figuring things out, you know, with adolescent boys, I've talked repeatedly about how I think that's more clumsy than clean. It's a messy, complicated process. And, you know, I'd invite any parent listening right now to think back to things that you remember feeling so strongly about when you were 14, 15, 16 years of age. And my great ambition would be you don't feel exactly the same way about some of those things right now. And this mom found her way, I think, just to a lot of remembering what was really in play in this moment. And, you know, we laughed together at the end of the conversation. I said, you know, at the end of the day, it's probably also just great to remind yourself that it really doesn't matter what candidate he is supporting. He's 15. He can't vote right now. We just laughed together about that reality. Like, let's just not give so much energy and attention. But remembering all of what is in play developmentally, that things foundational to letting kids have opinions. Yes, yes. And it's interesting you brought up the election and there was a silly you all, David's not on social media, which is amazing for him. And David, I don't know if you know there was this trend going on recently about 2026 is the new 2016. And so people are posting photos of 2016. And, you know, it's interesting the things that we could talk about that have changed in a decade. One of those is our, as you said, our heatedness, our anger, our dissension and disrespect of each other that I think has so much to do with social media. And the fact that people feel like they have a microphone without a camera. You know, that there's a sense of my voice can be amplified and it doesn't matter as much how I treat people. And and when I think back to 2016, I don't feel like we were doing that then. I think it's changed so much. And it breaks my heart that that's what the kids we love are being exposed to. And and I also would say in all these years, I have never had and I would be curious if you would say this to David, but I've never had as many friends that I really love and respect and feel very differently about different issues and I'm surprised sometimes. And it has been the most stretching experience to learn to hear them and try to really see things from their experience. And I think the kids in our lives need to see us do that. They need to hear us say, tell me more. They need to hear us say, I'm really glad to hear your perspective. Or I feel differently about that than you do, but I really respect you. So I'm glad to know what you think. Statements like that are so important. And and just even thinking about modeling how to disagree with respect, it made me think about a passage in Romans from the message that I absolutely love that we're going to read as the closing and benediction of this conversation. Because I think it is so important for us to look at the the log in our own eye. And we have lost the ability to do that and to talk through the logs in each other's, the specs in each other's with respect and love and care. And kids need to see us learn to do that because I can't even imagine how divisive things are going to be in 2036 if we keep going this direction. Yeah, I like that we're going to end the episode with that great reminder, Sissy. And you know, I was thinking as you were talking, it's living into the wisdom of those words of you can disagree without being disagreeable. And we forget that's an option. That's a possibility. So thanks for that reminder. And one more practical takeaway is to do your homework. Study the topics that kids are talking about. Watch the shows they're watching. Listen to the music they're listening to. Now, notice we said watch and listen. We didn't say fall in love with you to love their shows, to love their music. But to be curious and know what's important to them and who they're listening to so that you can have curious, informed conversations with them. And be the source yourself from a young age. And if we circle back to Megan and Mary Flows, wise words, relationship and connection are protection. And research shows over and over again that strong relationships with good communication, with parents, protect kids from a wide range of risks, including online harm and emotional distress. So aim for connection over correction. You want kids to come to you when it really matters. You've got to be safe in the small moments. OK, so this next idea, David, I think again, as we're talking about how things have changed, I feel like you and I both have changed our tune on this in the last few years. The last two years even. And that is protection in the real world. And you all in this day and time as we sit here and have this conversation, y'all, we're hearing more and more stories of sexual exploration, sexual abuse and assault more than we ever have before in our offices. Most often. And you all, this is so important to know. Most often at the hands of other older kids or grown ups that these kids know. Kids need protection and preparation. You all for real world risks, especially around sexual abuse and personal safety. And there's some key stats that I think are important to go back to. So let's let's look at those real quick about one in five girls and one in 20 boys who experienced sexual abuse before the age of 18. A child is sexually assaulted in the US approximately every nine minutes. And most abuse is committed by someone the child knows and trust. And y'all, we're not trying to scare you. We don't want you to scare your kids. Stranger danger statistically doesn't help. But what does help is building skills and awareness. And we're going to talk about both. But but we're hearing more stories involving sleepovers, unstructured time and lack of supervision, that those are three of the primary places this is happening. And as we think about the predators, what they thrive on are silence and shame. So instead of swimming in fear, we're going to talk through what are just some practical, thoughtful prevention strategies that we can embody. So first one would be let's teach kids correct names for body parts and body boundaries. Yes. And we would highly encourage you to read age appropriate books with your kids like God made all of me. We love that book by our friends, Justin, Lindsey Holcomb and y'all. It helps with private parts, protecting private parts. It also talks about keeping secrets, so many things like that in a really age appropriate way. We can't recommend that enough. Also, the episode that's coming out soon with our friends, Megan and Mary Flow from the birds and the bees that we mentioned earlier, they have a curriculum about how to they talk about drip, drip, drip of conversation and protection, both that we need to be talking about both. And we want to normalize conversations about private parts, uncomfortable situations, telling a trusted adult, even when it feels awkward. Yes, one of my favorite things they said in the episode, David, that I literally we recorded it this morning and then I went upstairs because as we're in the midst of this ice storm, I'm getting to live with Kathleen and Erin and the boys and I went upstairs and said in front of Henry on purpose, my favorite takeaway was when you see something that feels scary or makes you uncomfortable, you stop, run and tell, stop, run and tell is so good. And then next, y'all, practically, I recommend all the time for girls. I want every girl, not only before they graduated from high school, I really wish every girl by the time they reached 14 or 15 had taken a self-defense course and not because we're wanting to make them afraid that something is going to happen, but because we want them to have a sense of confidence. And and I have heard way too many stories. I heard one last week from a girl who felt paralyzed when a boy she was with started to assault her and she just froze and didn't know what to do. And y'all, again, the hope is they would never have to use that, but we want them to feel like they can. So find a self-defense course in your community. There are companies that put those on. Often your local police force does it. So check into where you might can find a self-defense class to do with your daughters. And David, would you add your sons as well? Oh, absolutely. I think it's a great practice for boys. And y'all, another recommendation that I'm talking a lot with parents about, it's just only doing sleepovers with family, friends, you know, very well. We're extended family and providing a lot of oversight and checking in all throughout the experience. And as we're thinking about your kids getting together with other kids, that we have kids keep doors open at play dates and at gatherings, that you're just walking through every so often, making sure the doors are open, saying doors stay open when we're playing together, that they just know that's a rule around your house. And y'all, we're not trying to make kids afraid. We're trying to make them prepared and empowered. Yes. Because the bottom line in this is that protection starts with education, conversation and trust, not fear. You know, we are firm believers that we all need a little more laughter and a whole lot more grace. And if you are raising a child with ADHD, dyslexia, autism, or another learning and thinking difference, you know how intense some days can feel. The advocacy, the school meetings, the meltdowns, the moments when you wonder if you're getting any of it right. If that hits home, we recently found a podcast we think you'll really appreciate. It's called Everyone Gets a Juice Box for parents of neurodivergent kids. Check out a few episodes, including one about parenting regrets after an ADHD and autism diagnosis and another about how, quote, fine isn't always fine when it comes to dyslexia. You'll appreciate the tone. It's honest. It's warm. It's funny in the way that only parents who truly get it can be. You can hear the relief in their voices when they realize they're not alone. It feels like sitting down with other parents who understand the mysteries, the multiple diagnosis and the beauty in the middle of it all. If you could use that kind of community and encouragement, we really think you'll like it. To listen, search for Everyone Gets a Juice Box in your podcast app. That's Everyone Gets a Juice Box. Are you looking for a new way to engage with God's word every day? The NIV Illustrating Bible helps you interact with scripture and deepen your faith by giving you room to journal your thoughts, reflections and insights right alongside the Bible verses that inspired them. The large size and spiral bound format allow the Bible to lay completely flat, giving you the ideal surface for writing and drawing. Find the NIV Illustrating Bible on Amazon or at FaithGateway.com. All right, let's talk through third idea of protection against online predators and digital harm. The digital world is not neutral, so kids need protection, guidance and ongoing conversation. And as we're thinking about statistically, here are a few things that are important to know. Roughly one in 12 children globally experience online sexual exploitation or abuse. That's a lot of kids, you guys. Over 300 million children worldwide are affected each year. And reports of online enticement and exploitation have skyrocketed in recent years. Yeah. And the platform kids are on the most were not necessarily designed with children as the priority. So roadblocks, for example, experienced a 33 percent rise in 2025 for child grooming incidents. And we playfully thought it would be really fun since I'm in the same house as Henry and went to have them pop on and talk about the things they felt like kids needed right now. Henry's in first grade. And the two statements he made, which will have his voice sing exactly what they are. But I would echo he talked about roadblocks in YouTube and he said, if your kids have roadblocks, delete it because he's hearing stories that feel scary about roadblocks. And he said, and they need limits on YouTube, which I would certainly agree. And I mean, there are some pretty benign things that he watches on YouTube. And I'm shocked at I mean, at the most innocent of shows and how people talk to each other, interact with each other. I mean, there are just so many things that are out there, you all. And not only are there really the big, scary things that we're talking about right now, but I just saw Jonathan Hyde on an interview this week saying that he has moved from his primary concern being mental health and kids to the attention span of kids. And I read that our attention spans as humans has recently dropped below that of goldfish, not wild. Now, I would say I know I would still say I'm as concerned about the mental health in terms of what's happening online. But you all, the truth is this is impacting their attention spans, their anxiety and their hearts. A couple of other reminders that I feel important to give online predators often start with flattery and with friendship. In gaming platforms, video platforms and social media all present some degree of risk. Also, cyber bullying is increasing and kids often suffer silently when that's the case. Yes. So we want to make sure, y'all, even if you feel like your kids are so young that you have a handle on it, we still want to use parental control and monitoring tools. Some of our favorites are BARC, Aura Parental Controls, QStudio, NetNanny, Apple Screentime and Google Family Link. There are a lot out there now. Just do your own research and find what would be helpful for your family. But we all need to have things installed. So important. Another important safeguard, devices stay in common areas, not in bedrooms. I was just having that conversation with a mom again this week and she said to me, which parents often say to me, he's going to be furious if I don't let him have it in this room and I can't ever figure out, Sissy, in those moments, are they wanting me to just say, OK, don't do that then. I can't ever quite figure out where to go in that moment when parents say that. But yes, the reminder I do give so often in that space is the one we talk about so often on this podcast of we're prioritizing health over happiness, health over happiness. Yes. And we want to be having regular check ins in terms of conversation that are conversational, not punitive, asking questions like here are a few examples. What apps are you liking lately? Has anything online made you uncomfortable? We want to watch for gifts given on various games because that's sometimes how predators start to interact with kids. We want to watch for kids downloading other platforms without permission because sometimes predators will say, hey, download X so I can talk to you there. Also, pay attention to kids' emotional responses after gaming sessions. So a lot of kids who've come in contact with someone attempting to groom them are more anxious, irritable or sad after a gaming session. If you have kids where it's age appropriate, have them read the amazing generation, have them watch the social delimit. If you haven't seen that, you certainly need to yourself. And you all, reminder here, as we talk on all these safeguards, it's not about spying, it's about protecting and shepherding and teaching them to be responsible digital users. And keeping them safe because the bottom line is online safety is not a one time talk. It's an ongoing relationship with the kids that we love. Yes. All right. So fourth idea, critical thinking, teaching kids how to think well. So kids need critical thinking skills so they don't just absorb culture. They evaluate it. Why don't you talk about, says he a great conversation that you had with Henry recently about advertising. Yes, it was a great check for you and me, actually, because he had fallen for some advertisement on the show he was watching and and his dad said, Henry, advertising is not always true. They're paid to say this is the thing that you need the most. And he said, did he and Uncle David advertise? And I said, that's right, Henry, and we're really careful to only advertise things that we believe in. But it's so important to think about that and to teach them to start evaluating at a really young age, because we don't want kids to simply repeat what they're hearing, which is what's going to happen. Like you said in the beginning of this important conversation, if we're not shaping the kids, we love culture will. And so they will repeat what they're hearing from friends, what they're hearing from social media. And you all kids will even repeat what they hear from us. And we want them to learn critical thinking. They need to hear our voices, but they need to learn to find their own. Because culture rewards conformity and speed, not depth and discernment. Yes. And kids need help learning how to do things like ask questions, weigh evidence, recognize emotional manipulation. You all, we were only being emotionally manipulated by the Sears catalog. It was not happening like it is for kids today. They need to learn how to tolerate disagreement. And you all, we can talk about advertising all day long, but we are just on the cusp of all that AI is going to do. And it's going to make this that much harder. So we need to be talking about and modeling what that looks like. I know we've mentioned it several times, but this conversation we had with Megan and Mary Flow is so important because they talked about AI and you all and even modeling for them. This is not real. And I sometimes the boys will sit with me and I have a lot of my algorithm is mostly things from the 80s and animal videos. And all of a sudden it has become AI generated animal videos. I don't even know how it started. And the boys think it's hilarious. And so we watched the cat that must have weighed three tons going through Walmart and knocking down all the shelves. And then we watched all of that silly little dance, all the animals we're doing, which now means all my algorithm is AI. And so even having that conversation about what you watch is what's fed to you. And this isn't real, you guys. And it's important we realize what's real. I mean, it's just coming at us from every angle. So, David, will you talk about some practical things that can help? I would love to. So let's throw out some questions that I think would be good to ask kids. Questions like, where did that idea come from? What makes that convincing? What might be missing from that perspective? That's a great question to ask. Is that real? What do you think before we would offer our opinion of what we think? Yes, and that we would encourage kids to think before reacting. Which the majority of the world is not doing on most given days. And another thought we throw out is to really let kids wrestle. Don't rush to rescue them from every uncertainty. And to David's point about the political election, that we ask kids what they think, how they feel about any manner of things they're being exposed to. The sermon when you're driving home from church on a Sunday about certain current events, about topics that come up on TV shows, ask and then wait to listen before we give our opinions, just like David said. Because confidence grows when kids know how to think for themselves. Yes. And the bottom line is that curiosity is more powerful than certainty. As we're building connection, as we're creating conversation, when we're curious in front of and with kids, we're teaching them that wisdom comes from learning, that we're always learning and we're always growing. And that thoughtful kids are more resilient kids. So true. All right. Fifth idea we want to talk around is kids needing a spiritual foundation, a moral compass that protects in the midst of all the things that culture is bringing into their worlds and even our homes today. A strong spiritual foundation gives kids identity, grounding and guidance in a confusing culture. Yes. And faith, we know, provides things like belonging, meaning, moral clarity, hope when culture feels overwhelming and a sense that they're and we're not alone. And spiritual grounding doesn't just help kids say no, but it helps kids know the why. And as we know and want to teach them from their earliest ages, faith isn't about rules, it's about relationship. And let's talk about some practical ways to build it. So first would be family rhythms, prayer, reading scripture together, service. We'd encourage you to go back and listen to our dear friend, Justin Whitmill, our earliest episodes on the podcast. His incredible book, Habits for the Household, would be a great read for you as parents, books we absolutely love and encourage for those of you who have littles would be Having a Copy of the Jesus Story book Bible by Sally Lloyd-Jones and Eugene Peterson's My First Message. Honestly, I think those two books aren't just great if you have littles, but those are books I go back to often as an adult. Yes. And that we would just to the everything we're talking about, have honest conversations about doubt and questions that we don't panic, that we listen and we ask questions and that we're thinking about, that we're modeling our own faith foundation, lived out, not just talked about. You all have heard us talk about. We can't say enough about John 16 33 in this world we're living in that says, in this world, you will have trouble, Jesus said, but take heart. I've overcome the world. And David and I have certainly experienced that it feels like there's this chasm between kids feeling and their faith, and they often don't know that their faith is relevant to their feelings. And some of that is because we're not talking about the trouble that we're living in or we're not talking about our faith as it pertains to that. And we want kids to have a faith that informs their feeling and provides the foundation that catches them when they fall. And we have a family who has started saying, well, it was a John 16 33 kind of day. Like, of course, we're going to have trouble. We want them to know that's coming, but that's not the end. That's so good. And as our dear friend, Melissa Travath, and our founder here at Daystar reminds us often, we can't be Jesus to the kids we love, but we can need Jesus in front of them. Yes, we all need him. Yes. And the bottom line in that is a spiritual foundation doesn't isolate kids from culture or us. It equips them to engage it wisely. Here's the thing, you all culture is going to shape kids. The question is whether parents are shaping them more. Conversation, protection online and in the real world, critical thinking and faith. These are gifts parents can give no matter how loud the world gets. So a few last reminders. First, start right where you are. Pick one area this week, just one, pick one area to lean into. And small, consistent moments make the biggest difference. And here's where we really want to end, you all. The verse that we mentioned from Romans 12, it's Romans 12, nine through twenty one says, love from the center of who you are. Don't fake it. Run for dear life from evil. Hold on for dear life to good. Be good friends who love deeply. Practice playing second fiddle. Don't burn out. Keep yourselves fueled and aflame. Be alert servants of the master. Cheerfully expectant. Don't quit in hard times. Pray all the harder. Help needy Christians be inventive and hospitality. Bless your enemies. No cursing under your breath. Laugh with your happy friends when they're happy. Share tears when they're down. Get along with each other. Don't be stuck up. Make friends with nobodies. Don't be the great somebody. Don't hit back. Discover beauty in everyone. If you've got it in you, get along with everybody. Don't insist on getting even. That's not for you to do. I'll do the judging, says God. I'll take care of it. Our scriptures tell us that if you see your enemy hungry, go buy that person lunch. Or if he's thirsty, get him a drink. Your generosity will surprise him with goodness. Don't let evil get the best of you. Get the best of evil by doing good. As we're talking about what kids need right now, these guys had some thoughts. Mom. Tell us. If you have roblox deleted, it has limits for YouTube. I'm so glad you told me that. Play with nice or dangerous things. You can't play with nice or dangerous things. You can't. Oh, you can't play with nice things or dangerous things yet because you don't want to get hurt or break something, right? That's right. That's exactly right. Those are such good ideas. What do y'all each feel like you need the most from mom and dad right now? To have a little more limit to YouTube. Yeah. Because Henry, how would you say YouTube affects you? Well, it doesn't affect me anymore. It doesn't affect you anymore. You kind of grew out of that. Yeah. And I watched something scary by accident. You did? Yeah. We don't want to do that. You could probably guess what. Tell me what it was. A day of five nights at Freddy's. It's easy for scary things to pop up on there, isn't it? I know you didn't even want to see it and it just kind of showed up. Yeah. And then it's hard to get it out of your head, isn't it? Yeah. You feel like limits. I know. You limits on YouTube for sure. What is your favorite thing with your mom and dad that they do? Hugs and kisses. Hugs and kisses. That's a great thing from your mom. David, what a team we have that we get to call friends who help make this podcast possible. Chris, Jared, our engineer, our management team at KCH. And we are thrilled to be a part of the That Sounds Fun Network. Our music was created by the insanely talented Dave Haywood of Lady and Lady and the Lady of the City. And if this podcast felt helpful to you, please consider subscribing, liking, sharing, all the things. We are grateful for you and cheering you on always. Save on the next trip you book you can cash in on groceries. Just join shop your favorite brands and save boots, Sephora, Assas, Selfridges, M&S, Sainsbury's. The list is long. Save online at over 550 stores and when it's time to redeem those rewards, get your money exactly how you want it. Choose bank transfer or PayPal. So go ahead, take a trip, fill a cart, get a new outfit. Rakuten is a world of rewards. Join today for free. Go to rakuten.co.uk or get the app. That's R-A-K-U-T-E-N.