Hello my friends and welcome back to another episode of the Dream Life Club podcast. My name is Sumi and I am so excited to be with you guys today talking about this concept called the last lap. When it comes to creatives and the projects that we're working on, it is one of the most important topics and it's really been a game changer for me to dive deep into this, which I'm going to go deep into this with you guys today. But first, I want to thank you guys from the bottom of the heart, from the bottom of my heart because I have some really exciting news. We just broke this podcast, you and me, right here, you and me, together. We just broke the top 100 on Apple podcasts and that just means the world to me. Every single one of you who has taken the time to write a comment, write a review, rate this podcast, has literally transformed my ability to keep going. And now, you know, I'm getting requests from a lot bigger speakers and guests to come join me on this podcast and I couldn't be more excited to keep going on this journey with you guys. Keep offering insights and inspiration so that we build our dreams together. We build our creative dreams together and it's not just me sitting here talking to the back of a camera, but it's us doing this together. And so if you haven't yet, please go and leave a rating, leave a review on this podcast so that we can continue to grow and I can continue to bring you some amazing guests, which by the way, we have lined up so many epic people, epic conversations coming up for you, not just me and my solo episodes, even though I do get the feedback that you guys love these solo episodes as well. And I'm happy to keep sharing the true real story behind the scenes of building my own music career in LA. Like the real talk, like what it really looks like as an indie artist. And if you have been around for a while, you know that I just share with you guys as it is, like I share with you from my heart from this is like not scripted. This is just a conversation, right? And I think that that's the only way to be these days, especially with AI, right? Like anything perfect, anything formal, anything scripted is kind of less interesting to us all. And it's the real authentic human connection that means the most these days. And that's what I hope to continue to always provide a real, a real grounded place for you guys to come and feel excited about life again, especially during these challenging times. I think we have to keep ourselves focused on what we can control and what we're building and what we're creating. So today, I want to share with you guys what I've been going through. And it's this concept that I like to call the last slap syndrome. And I think a lot of us creatives, right? Like whether we know it or not, whether it's diagnosed or undiagnosed, I think a lot of us relate to the symptoms of having ADHD, right? Are y'all with me? Like we have so many ideas, a million things at once. And when I like when I've never been diagnosed, but when I look back in my childhood, like and I see the patterns of things that used to happen to me. And I don't know how much it of it was like caused environmentally because I did have like a chaotic childhood. I went to six different elementary schools. And you know, just I know a lot of these symptoms can be triggered environmentally and like by our circumstances. But I definitely like couldn't concentrate, procrastinated, like crazy starting things was really really getting started on a task was really really hard. Yet I had a million and one ideas that I could like, you know, want to create stuff, but then finishing was a real problem. And what I've noticed is that even though I have like a lot of quote unquote success on paper as an entrepreneur in DC, I think that happened because I had we had enough bandwidth, we had enough resources to invest in team. And coming out to LA and building this music career on my own has been a whole different art project because I don't have a team, right? Like I have a piecemeal team. I do have help and I do invest in help always. But I don't have a team like I had in DC, right? And so what I'm realizing is that a lot of these patterns of behavior that I remember from like grade school from like high school and college or like resurfacing, because it's all on me right now. And one of those patterns is this habit of having like having it be really hard to like close the loop on something and like finalize something and put the bow on it and ship it. And that is, as I understand now, really common for people with ADHD, with which a lot of creatives relate to. And so I want to talk to you. I want to tell you guys a little story about like one of my first realizations of this being an issue for me. And then not like playing victim or complaining about it, but talking about what I'm doing now and like what I'm going through right now, like this week, I'll share something that happened and how I'm kind of dealing with it that I hope will help all of you listening to relate, know you're not alone, and then like hopefully leave with a better understanding or some ideas of like, okay, is this happening to you? Maybe some self-awareness around if it's a challenge or an issue for you. And then some ways that I'm using and maybe could help you to use to change this pattern, to fluff it up, to stop living in the same patterns over and over again, because to me, that is the most boring way to live. Like once I recognize a pattern that I have that I don't want to keep repeating, like it's time to change, right? And so that's what I want this episode to be for you guys. If you relate to this syndrome or whatever you want to call it of like having a hard time finishing things and leaving things at like 80% or 90%, but then like not putting the bow on it and shipping it, like that is something that's so ridiculous because we've done all the hard work. And we know like as like fucking brilliant creatives, like I really truly believe that like, you know, I believe like my weaknesses now are our strengths, right? Like I believe like my quote unquote ADHD or whatever you want to call it is actually like a superpower, because I know how I can see the vision on so many different projects, how I have like a million different ideas and how I put so much effort into making them epic. But then the problem is when I don't close, when I don't have the bow and when I don't actually send it out there into the world, people read that as being flaky. People read that as being incompetent. People read that as being unreliable and untrustworthy, which is crazy, right? Because like the amount of it's like, it's like the amount of work and intention and purpose and detail that went into creating that 90% is probably more than most people put in to the 100%. But because those of us who do this, who have a habit of doing this, don't actually do go the final lap, we're not received in the same way. And even if we like half asked something and shipped it, we would have a better reputation in the world than like keeping everything at 90% where no one knows it's at 90% and people just assume we haven't done shit yet. Like I'm guilty of this when it comes to emails and text messages and I'm feeling the wrath of this right now. Like I will want to respond thoughtfully. I don't want to just respond with small talk. I don't want to just thumbs up or love something when I get a text message from a dear friend or a loved one. But because I want to respond thoughtfully, that then leads to me waiting where I have bandwidth to respond thoughtfully. And then I get into another vortex of focus and concentration that sometimes I forget to respond altogether. And that's not good. Right. And so like if you relate to this, like we need systems in place in our lives that already know that these are our patterns and that can help mitigate them for us, right? Like we need systems more than other people. We need to have like what many would think are like super nerdy and dorky ways of managing our like time and attention in order to make sure like we don't fall flat in these ways. So I'm going to tell you a story that has to do with my artist project. My artist project, my whole life is an artist project. But what I mean is the new EP that I'm releasing. So as you guys know, if you've been following along, this new EP is called, it was first originally called American Dream. We're calling it American Tarot now. And it is kind of like a the imagery in the aesthetic is a throwback to like vintage Americana. Kind of a tongue in cheek expression of what's going on politically right now in terms of like, Oh, the good old days were like how America used to be. And, you know, a lot of the problems that are contained in that imagery, right? But my songs are a lot of them are just commentary, maybe, but also just like the lens, my lens on the world right now. And also my personal world. So like there are a couple songs about like my my own desires and longing and wishes and relationships. And then a couple songs about how I feel when I look around and look out at other people and meaning like what's happening in the world. And these I've I've I basically have like seven to 10 songs that were sitting there like at 60% for like three months. And it's not that I wasn't doing anything about them. I was working on them. But coming together with a cohesive vision for this project and allowing myself to press like to be complete with the vision and then like make final decisions on what I wanted things to sound like and look like has been so challenging. And it reminded me of when I was releasing my first project as an artist. If you don't know this, I, you know, I started writing songs like 15 years ago. I had like just graduated college and I was building this company in DC and I really didn't want to continue to do that. And I wanted to like find a way to do music. But I didn't know if or how I could really do that. Started taking guitar lessons, started writing songs, and then, you know, it was just doing that on the side. And I still remember my first guitar teacher, Spencer, in Arlington, Virginia, and like, you know, still connected with him on social media and everything. And that went on for, and I was taking voice lessons, like once a week voice lessons from like 2011, 2012 timeframe. All the way for like five years up until like 2017, when I decided, when I, when I basically got a management team in place for my company and thought that I would go and pursue a master's degree in public policy, before I went full time to my master's degree program, I decided to take a weekend trip to Nashville. Well, this is one of my favorite stories and memories because that quote unquote weekend trip I packed for two days. That weekend trip turned into two months. It was like the summer before my program started. I was fortunate enough to have the flexibility that I had worked my ass off for like during college and after college, many years, like building this company. And it kind of just like snowballs. And I was fortunate enough to have a management team in place at this point in time so that I could actually, when I was like going to come back to DC after my weekend in Nashville, and then I was like, I could actually stay here. And so I found an Airbnb, actually it was like a common friend of mine happened to be renting out her place. It was like her Airbnb. And everything just worked out so perfectly. It was like a five minute drive to my vocal studio. The vocal studio set me up with a producer. And we, I for the first time in my life produced a five song EP that summer before my master's program started. And it was, it was one of my favorite memories in life because it was my first time like delving deep into what I wanted to do my whole life since I was four years old. And I just was like so excited and so thrilled by the idea of like having music out there. And I, you know, and I was like, I can't believe I'm like working with a producer. I'm in a studio. We were in this castle in Franklin, Tennessee. And like it was just like epic beyond like blew my mind that this could be my real life. Now here is the point I'm trying to make. So those two months we made the song and I produced them, we recorded them. They were at 80 percent. Okay. Then August comes around and I have to fly, you know, to not to Boston basically and like move to Boston for my master's program from DC where I was living at the time. And so I go make that move. And I settled in in Boston and the program starts. And meanwhile, those two months I spent in Nashville are like, it's at those songs are 80 percent. Like all they need are like final revisions, final mixes, and then to be released. It took me an entire year. Wait, a year? No, it took me two more years to get those songs from 80 percent to 100 percent. So August started, I was in my year long accelerated master's program. And so I guess one could maybe give me some grace for that. Like I, okay, I was in this intense program. I didn't actually get back to closing the loop on those songs. But even still, it would have taken like two days of effort from me to like make final changes, tell my producer what I wanted different and then like, release them, right? There wasn't that much left to do. But it was decisions that needed to be made. I needed to listen to the mixes. I needed to tell him my changes. I needed to give him feedback. I need to trust my decisions. And that's what I procrastinated on for a full two years. Two years after I graduated from this program, I finally decided to move to Nashville. And that's when I finally, and put my political career on hold, like on the back burner and pursue music. And that's a month after I moved to Nashville, I finally released those songs into the world. And it was under a different artist name. If anybody wants to go look it up. It was under the artist name Sumi, S-U-M-I, not Sumi X. Now, of course, all the music is Sumi X. And it's like a different sound in a different style. And but yeah, it took me two years to release that five song EP. And I say that to say like, I had even done a photo shoot for it. I had pictures I could have used. I knew how to, I was gonna use like tune core at the time to release it. I knew how to do everything. I just was stuck in those final, in that final lap of like making the decisions and putting a bow on it. And it's just odd that that took two years. I'm sharing this because I don't want to ever repeat that mistake, first of all. And I don't want you to be stuck at 80% for any longer than you need to be, right? So, you know, right now, what happens is I notice the same thing pop up in me whenever I'm like about to about to finalize a song now. I get almost there. And then like, I don't want to make those final decisions because putting something out there into the world is basically saying like, this is me, everybody. Like, this is my best work. Take it or leave it. And we don't get a chance to say like, Oh, well, I was actually mean to do this. Well, it could have been better because of that, even though we might have those ideas in the back of our mind, we are putting ourselves out there ready to be judged, ready to be criticized. And no matter what it is, whether it's a creative project, whether it's a song, whether it's a painting, whether it's a photograph, whether it's a product that you've built, like it's the same thing. It's it's opening up yourself to criticism to judgment to feedback. And that we want to like we want to delay that. Right. So what I want to offer you today is this week, I have been sitting with three songs going on the last lap now for like three weeks. And granted, it's very different than my first project that I finally released in Nashville. And I know that because there have been real changes that I've been making to this to make sure it's super clicked in and aligned with my vision for American terror, the EP. And it's so exciting. And I can't wait for you guys to hear this stuff. But like, what I have to do is I have to give myself timeframes and I have to give myself a specific focus. Like this week, I told myself my main focus is to finish these three songs with a bow on them. And nothing else like like, yes, I've done other things that I'm doing other things. But I had to tell myself this was the focus for the this week. My tendencies to take on too many things. And then these things stay open ended. We would to finish to close needs specific intention from us, those of us with these tendencies, I'm going to call them ADHD tendencies, but whatever you want to call them, we need to give ourselves timelines, we need to get other people involved in those timelines. So one of the things that helped, one of the things that really helps is like, I have a couple like trusted friends who I'll be like, Hey, will you listen to these with me? Because I'll list like, I'll listen to final mixes or like final productions on on songs. And I'll have notes in my head. But getting those notes from my head onto paper, sending the text to the producer, communicating is all are all things that for some reason I feel I feel like are so hard to do. It's like literally like moving through tar. It's like, it's like so hard to do those last steps. And it sounds crazy for people without these tendencies. Like my dad, he would be like, he would be looking at me glaring, like rolling his eyes, like, you just need to do it. And like, he just doesn't understand what having this brain is like. And so I just I want to like relate to all of you who feel that like closing the loop on things, like sending a text, sending an email, making the final decisions like is so, so challenging. And it's unfair that we don't give ourselves enough credit for for for credit for how hard it is. And we just expect ourselves to be able to snap our fingers and do it. Instead, we need to put systems in place to support us. So like, like I said, getting other people involved, even though it's the most simple task, I'll ask a friend that I trust to come over, listen to these mixes with me. And get and it's not that I need their feedback. It's giving me the accountability, the body doubling to put my notes down and send it off to my producer. It's getting a timeline with my assistant on the calendar that says by this Friday, these three songs need to be uploaded to where they need to go. Right? It's putting like I have a trip coming up. I have a trip coming up next Sunday to DC. It's putting a trip on the calendar that I can't take unless I'm finished with these songs, right? So like, it's putting these systems in place. It's scheduling things that I need the songs for in order to actually attend, right? Like putting a listening party on the books. Like these are the things that those of us with ADHD symptoms like need to do to to ensure that our creativity doesn't go to waste. You guys know how passionate I am about the fact that like the world needs our art. The world needs your art so much right now. It's the most important thing that we could be doing other than like making our calls to Congress and like being on, you know, marching on the streets. Like we need our art out there in the world. We need to remind people what it feels like to be human. We need to connect to people's humanity. And so I don't want your art sitting there on your hard drive. I don't want your art piling up in your studio. We need it to be out there. We need to serve the world with it. And we need to share it loud and proud and it doesn't have to be perfect. Done is better than perfect. Done is better than perfect. We have our whole lives to keep creating. Let's stop putting so much pressure on ourselves. Let's close these loops. Let's put the ball on it. Let's ship it. Let's get it out there. And so this is as much a reminder for me today as it is for you. But I hope that you will employ these tactics that help if you find yourself having these symptoms and go out there and never deny the world of your art, our art. Okay. So with that, I will leave you today and I will be back here next week with a very special guest episode that you guys are going to love. And we've got a lot of like very, how can I say like celebrity guests coming up soon. So much love. Bye.
