Bridal Confessions: Wedding Rules and Do's & Don'ts for the Big Day

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If you've never done a smokey eye in your life, your wedding is not the time to do a smokey eye. You should definitely have a packed, stacked register. With a multitude of price ranges. Yes, agree. Sometimes I open someone's register and I'm like, Oh, okay. This is all cretin' barrel. I don't really know you that well. You've cut it in. Ha ha ha. Ha ha ha. Ha ha ha. Ha ha ha. Ha ha ha. Ha ha ha. Ha ha ha. Ha ha ha. Ha ha ha. Welcome back to Always Here. We're your host, Abby Howard. And Abby Howard. We are back. We never usually record on Fridays. No, it feels a little weird. It does feel weird. I'm like, guys, it's the end of the work week today. Yeah. What are we doing? I don't know. What are we doing? It's my fault. You were at Disney. Yeah, we were at Disney. Yeah, I want to hear about it. Was it fun? It was fun. We love Disney, so we're always gonna have a good time. It was chaotic, because we switched hotels every night, which really set us for a spiral. Yeah, how was that? Was that crazy? Kids couldn't nap, so they were really tired. I started to feel really bad for them. I was like, this is supposed to be fun. And they were like, exorcism. You're like, all right, buck up. They're not the kind of kids that nap on a stroller. They're not the kind of kids that show signs of getting tired other than getting really wound up and then falling off the cliff. So I felt sad. There were some teary moments. Oh, like you just felt guilty. Well, I wasn't crying. Oh, that's what it made me seem like. No, the kids were crying. And they're pretty resilient guys. I was like, we really pushed them too hard. But they had a really fun time. They hated leaving and it was good. It was the first time in public where strangers were like, when are you due? Wow. So I was like, wow, I'm having a big bump because I feel like at 24 weeks, it's kind of early for strangers to feel that confident. But it was usually men. They're always confident. They've always got the audacity. If there's one thing men got is the audacity. I love that quote. I like it though. I like it so much, especially after having a lawsuit. I'm like, I love that I am showing and that you feel very confident that I'm pregnant. And so that was really sweet. And yeah, I was waiting for coffee in this older man. He's like, when are you due? I was like, you're so sweet. I honestly love that. I love that. I was like, ask me. That's a problem now because it's like everyone's super cautious because low and behold, you could say it and someone's not. That did happen to me the other day. It's okay, I wasn't offended. Oh, it happened to you? Yes. A lady goes, when are you due? And I go, well, I just had a baby seven months ago. Abigail, what? No, I didn't even, she was old. It's okay. Where did this happen? The part? Yeah, I know. No, I know. It just happens, but I wasn't upset about it. I was like, she's old. She's senile. I'm actually so confused. She's blind. She actually probably can't see me. We were like, that's just part of each other. You look so skinny. I don't even actually get that. I thought you were talking about you as somebody else. No, no, no, no. Have you done that though? Probably, honestly. I kind of like that. No, I'm like, we've gotten too careful now in a way where it's like, I even feel myself, but I'm like, no, people want to talk about it. Yeah. But anyway, it was sweet that men were asking. I felt like... They're validated. Yeah, I was like, it is a lot of work. I kept pulling that carbon map because he was like, I'm so tired. And I'm 24 years old. I'm just going to keep one up and yeah. Yeah, I know. I was like, I did it twice and I was like, okay. I said it as a joke. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And he didn't laugh. So I was like, hmm. I was like, I want to speak sarcastic. I'm like, not complaining. I'm so happy. Do I need to run it back? Run it back. I'm pregnant. You had a business event. We did, which was really fun. You guys were supposed to go. You played hooky. It's fine. I didn't tell anybody. I'm just like, I'm just like, I didn't tell anybody. It was good. We went to the Forbes 30 under 30 summit, which was cool to be invited to it and go. I saw people traveled in for it. So a lot of people traveled in. I was talking to Caleb. It's the first time. Well, Caleb was with me. So which was also fun because we just had the whole day together. Wait, did Dave go? I invited him, but he didn't. I don't think he went. Dave told me he was going to go. Yeah. I didn't see him there. I didn't check in though. Dave is Valsal's friend. Yeah, Valsal. Are we going to shout out? Shout out. I'm not talking about Val nearly enough recently. I know. We need to bring her up for her. Guys, she was at the event. If you were there, you might have seen her. It's true. I'm actually going to her house tonight. Obviously, she had a later valley. I never called for that. Valley. Valley. I'm going to call her that. It was really fun being in a business setting like that again. I just haven't done that since I had the clothing store. And maybe since we even lived in Kansas City, it was just, it feels inspiring and motivating and it's fun to learn and hear from cool people. I didn't get the most out of it, to be honest. It was really geared towards founders startup vibes, but it's still interesting just to listen to these people, their stories and their interview questions. They had some cool speakers like Dwayne Wade, Michael Phelps, Ashley Graham. Yeah, and then amazing, like some awesome people in the tech space too. So it's cool. Oh, the guy, he's a tech talker. His name's Jack. He's a chef. He did like, he talked to creators. His talk was really cool. He probably seen his stuff. But yeah, they had, I mean, it was like a lot of good speakers and stuff. It was fun. It was a full packed day. That's all I really have to say about it. That's awesome. Did you think it was more so geared towards creators or what did you think? No, it was more towards, I think, tech startup. But did you think it was for creators? No, I didn't really know it. I just thought it was like business, people in business. And it was interesting. I, what I was gonna say, and then I lost my train of thought was that, I was telling Caleb, I feels like I'm back in college at a sorority business school event because I hadn't been around that many people my age in like business casual dress in such a long time. I literally felt like I was back in college. You're like, here we go. I'm like, okay, career fair. I never went into a career fair. I was gonna say I didn't even know that I. Really? Yeah, I know. That was Addy's bride and bride. I didn't even, I didn't even. Oh, I went there and then I also was a recruiter. So I worked on them all the time. I know, I never went. I was like, I'm gonna be my own boss. I don't, I don't. I'm like, I'm gonna be a mom. And I'm the other way. I'm like, I'll work for someone. I went to like science fairs. I was a major. Teacher. Like, like. You would go to like STEM night for a family. Yeah. Oh yeah. Elementary school. Oh, fun. Like kids. That's cute. So that was great. It was really fun to be there. Thank you Forbes for the invite. I was honored. Yeah, that's really cool. A husband, a man stopped me and introduced and said, my wife loves your podcast. And he recognized me from being on their TV at their house. I was like, that is so cool. I know. So we got a picture. So shout out. If that was your husband, he was lovely and wish I got to meet you too. But it was really cool. That's really cool. That makes me think I'm like, would Blake, if I would say my like favorite influencers, they're not even influencers, his tricks in the office. I'm like, if he saw them, would he stop and say hi for me? That's so. Probably not. In my head, I'm like, that is like, that's just exactly my love language though. Like when someone knows like the details. I know. Of your life. Like I've heard before, like couples like giving like their spouse like a syllabus of themselves. Like these are the podcasts I like. These are the books I like. These are the shows I like. So then you guys like can know each other so well. I was like, I need to do that for Matt. But I do feel really known by Matt recently. Actually, this was my while that's crazy. I'm a dummy. I'd be able to go back to Hope and Hard. You guys, this was so good. Last night I am out of the shower. I'm just at 9.51 PM in all caps. I have a while that's crazy. It was from Matt Howard. It was from Matt Howard. It's not something as niche. Okay, first of all, let me paint the picture but don't think about it too graphically. I had just gotten out of the shower. So let me paint the picture but. Don't paint it too well. But don't paint it. I was getting out of the shower. I'm in a vulnerable state and I'm like getting into the suitcase and Matt goes, Abby, you're never gonna believe it. He's so enthusiastic. He was running up the stairs. He goes, they found out what happened to the lost colony of Roanoke. What? We just talked about this. I said, wait a minute. Are you kidding? I am literally, I'm just beside myself. I'm like, what? Just a colony. I said this just happened. He's like, this just releases YouTube video explaining about it and researchers are commenting like that it was pretty accurate to where findings. Anyway, I can tell you what happened. Well, from what I understand, I still need to watch the whole video because gosh, it was 10 PM. I got a lot of things. How long was it? I don't know. Long enough. Okay, keep going. Lengthy. That's what I understand. This isn't science, but apparently they must have assimilated with an indigenous tribe around them because they studied some of the people's mitochondrias in their area and they found that they married in and started, they just assimilated. What? Which I was like, what a beautiful ending to that. Beautiful wrap. Literally, my brain was just a puzzle. For context, you guys, we were talking about Roman empires a couple episodes ago. I was talking about how my Roman empire since second grade has been the lost colony of Roanoke, which I would just think about it. And now I just feel like there's puzzle pieces. Oh yeah, they're just beautiful. But I was still skeptical because I was like, I need a lot more evidence than that, but I'm gonna watch the whole video. Okay. If it's enough for researchers, it should be enough for me. Sure. So. You put that piece in that puzzle, you modge Poget and hang it on your wall, Abby. I told Matt, I said, you know, I just talked about this on the podcast a couple episodes ago. He goes, no. I said, you just knew that. He goes, Abby, you've talked about this all the time. In fact, I think you brought it up on one of our very first dates. You were like, yeah, whatever happened to those guys? I'm just trying to play it off on one of our first dates. Like it's not something that really consumes my mind. Like, oh, you know, lost colony of Roanoke. I'm like, you heard it. Never heard. What happened to those guys? Whenever there's a long conversation with strangers, you're like, so you heard it, lost colony of Roanoke. He's like, Abby, you talk about, he said, I remember you bringing this up on one of our very first dates. I was like, wow, this is big. This really has plagued you for a long time. It's not been light for me. It's not been casual. Don't let me convince you that it's been casual. Wow. Beautiful. It's beautiful. They assimilated. What a great, could they have all done that a little bit better? Like. At least they didn't all die. Is that what they were thinking? Yeah, that was one of the theories. There was a lot of illness that spread through those colonies. They didn't really know how germs worked. Yeah, I know. We still struggle with that. I'm actually reading a book that takes place like in that time period right now. And the woman is a midwife. And I'm like, oh, I was not midtown babies. Wow. No, I think about it all the time. Definitely not. You for sure would have not. You wouldn't have picked us. Definitely not you. Not you. Why? They would have gotten thick and stuck. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, you'd be walking around with a bent hip. Bent hip. I think the books, we have book club today. It's going to be at the end of the episode. So don't click off if you're waiting for that because it's the end of the month. End of the month. Do you have a new book for May? I have a lot of books I've been wanting to read. I could just throw out there. Yeah, throw them out there. Someone left a comment and was like, can we rotate who picks books? I'm just going to tell you, I'm never going to pick the book. I also always listen to our recommendations of what I should read. Well, Fred, no, you guys pick. I always don't. No, I don't even know what books are. No, they're like, I always pick, sir. I don't even know. I'm really going to read the correspondent. What was that about? Perfect. It's all letters, like letters between two people. Oh, I would like that. That's fun. And it's a very popular book right now. I'm like, most people have probably already read it too. So if someone has like already read it, they could hop into and hear the discussion. I don't know, I was just throwing that out there. That's so cool. There was also something I was going to bring out. We're so easy. We're like, yeah, sounds good. I feel like it would be rather fast paced with it just being letters. Yeah. I don't know. Should we also, did you say you wanted to say one more thing about the Lost Column in Brona? No, no, no. This was about Disney. I was really reminded about how deep in the boy world I am because we spent our whole time at the Avengers campus and Star Wars and Cars Land. And our friends that brought a girl, were like doing the princess thing the whole time. And I was like, we are deep in this. We are committed to the boy. We're committed to the boy bit. Yeah. And I was like, nothing really makes you realize the difference in like raising little boys and little girls with like typical little boy and little girl interests, other than being in Disney. Really? I was like, we never saw them. Like they were doing completely other things. Oh. I was like, you go, she's wearing a princess dress. We're literally trying to keep our kids from killing strangers with their lightsabers. Right. I'm like. They're going to Bibbidi-Babidi boutique. You are going to Gucci's kitchen. Their daughter stays with them. Our kids walk away. And she was so sweet. It was my friend Ashley. She was like, well, because they know that you're always going to be there. Thanks for everything. That's kind of like they really think they don't need us. They just walk. They see something fun. And they're like, yeah. They're like, this is actually a tech. And they'll talk to anyone. They'll be like, hey, can I get on this? Am I tall enough? Like they will like talk to random people all the time. I'm like, perfect. What am I here for? Could have pulled that bear's name first. They're very independent. But I was like, wow, I'm so reminded of the boy room. That goes, he goes, wow, this is like, he's like, we are so deep in this. He's like, do you ever like think about like how it would be so different? I was like, I can't even fathom Bippity-Bobbity Boutique. I can't fathom it. I don't think she'd go, honestly. She'd be outnumbered. No, if we have a girl, then everything's going to stop for them. Oh, you're like, boy, you've had your time. You've had your time. If we did a family trip, we'd have to split up. Yeah, we would. Like, what would we do? What would we do? Gosh, they've got to find some common ground. No, they could go to Bippity-Bobbity Boutique and become princes. Oh, that's true. I know that they'd be wanting some glitter. I'll give you like, shimmer, please. He'd be blubbering. He'd say both, but I feel like they would both be something to it. They'd be into it. I don't really have anything else to share for Hope and Hard. Oh, I actually have a good Hope. Okay, well, let's do our announcement and then we'll go to Hope and Hard. What's our announcement? Patreon. Oh, yeah. Sorry. We're doing a Patreon. Yay. That's how all of our big announcements are going to come in song. Yeah, we're launching a Patreon this coming month. Yeah, we've been trying to figure out where we want to move this platform and have a really like interactive place where we can chat with you guys a little bit more so personally, because it's kind of hard in the comment section. And like, I don't know, sometimes the book club segment feels a little long on here. I don't know, just we're trying to figure it out and we want to deepen our community with you guys. So we've had a lot of fun things planned for this Patreon. We're really, really excited about it. There's going to be a free monthly newsletter that I'm currently writing. It's not AI. It's me. So just know that there will be a lot of a lot of grammar mistakes there. But I'm excited about it. I'm really excited. I feel like this we've been talking a lot about like what's next, like where do we move from here? And this feels so aligned with like all of our goals from the very beginning as like and sense of like going deeper with our audience, not necessarily wider. We would love to welcome more people to our audience. Yes, of course. But our focus has always been to grow deeper. And so I feel like this is like a really cool way to do that. We're going to say everything that's offered. Yes. So we're going to have the free newsletter that's open to everybody and anybody. And then we're going to have our exclusive page that is going to be it's five dollars a month. And we're going to have the book club over there. We're going to have book club chats. So it's going to be way more interactive. Like we said, we're going to have extended bonus content on every episode, which is really fun. We're going to have different chats for always hungry recipes, video footage. I mean, we're just going to really deck it out. Make it worth your time. We are going to make it. I also feel like a lot of the things that we might end up trimming from these episodes for any reason under the sun, we'll probably find it under there too. And that'll be fun. Yeah. People that get it will get it. Yep. We're going to do bonus. Like we're going to make the podcast or the book club segment a whole extra episode on Patreon, which would be fun. So I don't know. I just, I'm just really excited for it. To be excited about no pressure, obviously, but for those of you that have one and more, this feels like a really accessible way to like make it. Yeah. It's a little more and those are like, this is plenty right here. Yeah. I'm going to stay right here, but definitely check out the newsletter. Yes. I'm excited. I'm excited. Um, yeah, I know our main episodes are our main thing, baby. We're keeping these amazing, but we're also going to have extra amazing stuff over there. So yeah, that's exciting. And we'll have more information on that in the description box. So the next book club will be there. Yes. And it's the book, the commuter. What is it? The correspondence. The correspondence. The correspondence. The cover has like two birds on it. Beautiful. I feel weird because I feel like now I'm nervous because I have different tastes in books than you guys. Listen, I'm going to read what I'm told to read. Have to read it. It's homework assignment. I could keep it. Yeah. We've been pretty good so far. Okay. Good, good, good. Let's go. I haven't read it. So I can't be held. Yeah. Listen. Any of the books that I haven't read it, I have not read. I also don't like knowing much about a book before reading it. It's okay if the books don't align with our values. It's okay. It's okay. Something could happen. There's everything. We're going to be there. There's going to be things. Something could happen. We're just going to read it. It's fine. We're just going to read it. It's for entertainment. Okay. Okay. We have hope in a heart. My hope was that I had a doctor's appointment this morning and I'm officially graduated from the maternal fetal medicine doctor. Oh my gosh. You didn't say that. Thank goodness. Woo hoo. Yeah. For the biggest reason that I'm excited to be graduated from that is obviously because the baby looks. There's no more reason for. Concern. Concern. They did like a really long. They did an echocardiogram today. And like there was really no. They even asked me like why are they having to do this? I was like really? It's all just because we have some unknowns with a late term loss. And they were like, okay, because everything like looks fine. So I was like, that's great. The other thing that's good about that is that that appointment cost. $902. Every time I go, it's about that much. Yeah, they love to charge. It's so insane. And that just honestly makes me so sad because. Like I'm like. Medical care shouldn't cost that much. Like that is insane. I know. I'm so glad that they have like, like I was also thinking about this. They were looking at this tiny baby. That's not even two pounds. The veins going into his lungs. They're looking at the veins that are like. Paper. Super cool. And I'm like, it is amazing that they can do this at Doctrine Ideas and they have this technology, but gosh, it feels like it should be. A little bit more accessible than that. And I'm so grateful that that's not like a huge concern, but it does make me really sad for other parents are like this simply would not be an option. Like because it's just that's what I had to pay just to walk in the office. I know. $902. I know I had I had that with cause CJ was high risk and he had some things when I was growing him in my belly that they had concerned about. And so then with Vivian, they automatically wanted me to go to the MFM and I went in and they're like, that's going to be $600 out of pocket. Every time. Every time. And I was like, Hey, you know what? I actually can't afford that right now. And I kind of had to go back and forth with my main doctor because they're like, well, we don't want to see you because of these concerns. We want you to go there. So I was like, Hey, I'm not doing it. Like I just can't. And if you tell me there's a problem, I'm going to go. But just for like preventative, it was like, yeah, I was just scary to think that because we weren't prepared. We hadn't budgeted that. We were a little nervous for that. So yeah, it is. It's hard if it's not accessible at the time, you know? Yeah. Yeah. Well, what an exciting hope. And also this baby, this has never happened before is measuring to the day. Wow. So he is exactly 50%. Which smaller, this is a great possibility now for a potential V back because also the placenta has now like almost four centimeters away. So it's not even a concern anymore that they're falling up on. So I'm like, I never thought that I'd actually be a candidate, but now I am a candidate potentially. So it would be cool. Oh my gosh. But I didn't even know you were thinking about that. I like asked the doctor, I was like, what's the odds of the baby like just jumping up? And they're like, we wouldn't expect anything normal would be maximum 15% like percentile jump, which are like 65 even feel so small. Yeah, totally. You're like, we were talking 99. Yeah. Like I was like, no, they were both like 90. And so I was like, or Augie was. And so I was like, well, this is great. And they're like the only reason it would jump is if like there's something wrong. Yeah. So I was like, well, we've done a lot of tests. So we're just going to buckle down and hope for the best. But yeah, so I was like, surprising. But I was like, very glad. I was like, I've never experienced 50% how. Yeah. Wow. Feels so great. What a different world. So tiny. It's a smudge. The boy. Yeah. Well, it's so exciting, Abby. Wow. A lot of big things. Yeah. Those are great hopes. Well, my hope is May. I'm excited for May. I love the month of May. Yes. And we're is this in May when this is posted? Yeah, it's May 1st. May 1st. This is the great month. This is my hope and my heart, actually, is that May is a overwhelmingly packed month. And I know you feel the same way. Like it's going to be a lot. So that's a little bit hard, but there's so many fun things happening in May. I'm not going to list them off right now because you'll hear them throughout the next couple of weeks, but I'm very excited to be in this month. My heart is I'm emotionally drained because I did another podcast this morning and I cried my eyes out. So I'm like, really? Yeah, I was a grief podcast. So. Oh, you were a guest on it. Yeah, I was a guest on it. And I'm just like, well, good. How does she do that as her whole podcast every day? Whenever we've had guests that have hard stories to I'm drained for them too. So how is this what you do every week? I want to just become numb to it. You know, she was crying with me. Oh, that's sweet. So that's why I look like I've been crying is because I have. Oh, I didn't think you'd look like it. Oh, I did touch up my makeup, but it was bad. Matt walked in and he goes, oh, because he knew that I was he's like, this is bad. He knew it was going to be hard. But yeah. So nothing to be concerned about. Nothing's actually currently wrong. I just am drained. Well, it'll be a blessing to us. I also don't hide how I'm feeling emotionally very well. Like I always concern like it concerns our in-laws a lot. If I don't feel like talking, I don't talk. It's just a common thing that I have. It does freak people out. It does freak people out. That's a weird thing about me. I'm not trying to be rude. Like does it come across as rude? I don't know. I'm used to it. No, I'm so used to it. I'm like, OK, I'm not going to bother her right now. I can tell. I'm just so used to it. Yeah. Such a mess. No, no, I don't really put it on very well. Like if I'm like tired or like I'm just not feeling social, I just don't participate. Yeah. And then I'm like, I hope I didn't make other people uncomfortable. I just didn't want to talk. Yeah, I know. So I didn't talk. No, I think it's fine. OK. Yeah. Sometimes I announce, I'm like, sorry, I'm tired. I'm just not going to talk. Just so everyone knows. Everything's fine. I just actually just don't feel like opening my mouth. Shocker, because it's usually open. I know. That's why it's always so jarring. It's like, what's wrong? What's the silence? And then all of a sudden. Like they always think I have a headache or something. And I'm like, I physically feel fine. Emotionally, I'm actually fine, too. I just chose not to talk. Yeah, it's good. That's good. No, no, you're not rude. No, but I am going to talk on this because this is a podcast. The minute we stop, she goes, shut up. I just shut up. I walk away. Just kidding. I'm excited to talk with you guys. Yeah, we are excited. Let's jump into our top. Oh, wait, no, well, it's crazy. She did hers. We don't have to do. I want you want to. You want to. Well, what? Addie had a fun idea. We've been talking for a while. We're moving some of this over to Patreon, so it's OK. We're going to tie it. This is your last one. We have a set. Yeah. Thank you to Cash App for sponsoring this portion of today's episode. Abigail, what is one money lesson you wish you would have learned earlier? I wish I would have learned how to budget my money because Caleb and I had a hard conversation when we got married and yeah, it was a little bit of a rude awakening. I'm glad that you were able to figure it out. I feel like us in budgets, too, have always had contention for all the parents out there with teenagers. We know you're already trying to have a lot of those money conversations and how to keep a million different things under control. Cash App is here and they help make sure your teens money and their spending isn't adding to all of that craziness. 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Hulu just had their Get Relevant and they announced a lot of reality TV shows, which you guys know this is my favorite. This is Addy's. Addy loves reality TV. She does. It's good, we need this. I love it. So, you keep us relevant. Well, we have to talk about the first one. Secret lives of more than wives, Orange County. I don't know if I'm going to watch. I will be watching. I know. I'll watch the first episode with you, Addy. What's the consensus in the reality TV environment? I only knew about this because you guys texted me. Yeah. I know, as soon as I sent it, I said, ah, should have saved this for a while. That's crazy. To announce it to you. I feel like the consensus right now is they're not Mormon. Right. And they weren't a friend group before the show, like Secret Lives and Mormon Lives. This should just have been its own spinoff of like Secret Lives of young lives. Tiktok lives. Tiktok lives, their influence are wives. Something in that world and changing it. A rebrand would have been better. Yeah, I think so. So, they probably hoped for that as well. Probably. They're like, I'm not Mormon. Yeah, they're like, well, this is confusing. And some of them, a lot of them, not wives. That's true too. A lot of them are divorced. A spinovart is not a wife. Bobby Altoff is not a wife. And I think the rest of them may be wives. But those two for sure are not wives. Interesting. Yeah. So, a title change. A title change would have been good. I think a lot of people are going to, it seems like an interesting mix of cast mates. Yeah, it will be. And did you know Macy from Secret Lives and Mormon Lives, her sister is on the Orange County? No, which one's her sister? The one who looks just like her. Okay. Look at the cast pictures and you'll be like, oh, that's me. Well, that's cool. Yeah. So, her sister is on that one. She is Mormon. So. Yes. So, I think there are a couple more. I know Madison did you guys know about dancing with the stars? The next pro spinoff. What is that? My mom told me about that. So, it's a new show hosted by Robert Irwin. Oh my gosh. These people all get your bag. Yes. It's so exciting. And they're picking who is going to be a competition series to see who's the next pro on Dancing with the Stars and the next season of Dancing with the Stars. That's such a good idea. That's a good concept. Because everyone's dancing with the stars now. Yes. And so, there's already enough. But I feel like I would be more apt to honestly watch a competition show of like to get like I like that concept a lot. And obviously, everyone loves Robert. Yes. I think it's going to be great. I think a lot of people like if you're in the dance world, you kind of know that. So, you think you can dance does have like a walkway into Dancing with the Stars. A lot of the people on there have been on so you think you can dance. So, I think this is an interesting like step in between to like vet people out. So, as you're picking the stars or the dancers? The dancers. Like the pros. The pros. A lot of them have been on so you think you can dance before they became pros on the show. Like Jenna and Whitney. Okay. Those girls. But Mark Ballas' mom is going to be one of the judges on there and she's like very well known. She in the dance industry. She does say you think you can dance in another country. Oh, cool. Or strictly dancing. But isn't it like they're staying in a house? It's also like a real. I didn't. Oh, that's what my mom said. She said it was like big brother style. Oh, that'd be cool. Like staying in a house. I didn't watch the video. My mom is not necessarily of one to. I feel like she knows. Yeah, but I feel like she probably knows. The dancing probably. I love that aspect of it too. Because it feels separate from dancing with the stars. Like it's not just a dance competition show. Like you're kind of seeing them. They're like how they interact. Well, I also like that because I feel like a lot of people love the pros and you like their personalities and stuff. So you get to know their personalities before. That's a great concept. Yeah. And people like, you know, as they've introduced new pros, people have had their opinions of like Riley being able to just become a pro or Ezra just becoming a pro versus these you're watching them win a competition and then they get to be a pro. I think it's a good format for them. So that's cool. So will that come on air in between seasons of dancing with the stars? It's before the four dances. Oh, and then you'll get to watch them on the dancing. Did they announce the dancing with the stars cast? There are two that they announce. It is in a house, by the way. I'm reading it. They are going to dance with the stars. They've announced two. Maura Higgins. Do you know who that is? I don't think so. She was on Love Island. She's like a very well known Love Island UK girl. And then she's hosted Love Island and she was just on the last season of Traders. She was the second. She lost to Rob, who was the winner. And she got a Birkin out of it. So a Birkin bag for she was like, if you're lying to me, you have to buy me a Birkin. We did. Oh, well, we love a man of the word. Yeah. So with the money that he won. So more to get. He's like, I will lie and give you a birthday. How much are these bags? They are expensive. How much are they? You can't just buy a Birkin. You also cannot just buy a Birkin. Why do I do that? You have to buy something smaller for you have to work your way up to be able to buy a Birkin. You have to work up your reputation with Hermes to get you invited to buy a Birkin. That's so dumb. The funny thing about that is I love watching these these girlies on TikTok. I learned all of that from this situation. Really? Because he got helped by Lisa Renna to be able to go. Lisa Renna is a housewife. She helped him by the Birkin. Yeah, because he obviously didn't have a reputation. Yeah, I that's that's a side of TikTok. I'm on I'm on like Hermes shopping hall trying to get my Birkin. No, I will never be that gal, but I love watching other people be like, you can't buy. Is it a Rolex or there's like a certain watch that you can't buy. Like you can't buy that brand. You have to like work your way up to be able to buy it. I don't think it's Rolex, but I know a different one of the different types of brands and then Sierra Miller, you probably don't know who that is. She's from Summer House. Long story short. She was dating a guy. They broke up, but she still really likes him in the show. Her best friend, her name is Amanda. She was married. They just got a divorce and Amanda is Sierra's best friend. And Sierra tells Amanda all about what's happening with her and the guy she was dating, which is West, Amanda is now dating West. Big deal in the reality TV world. I got lost. I know I got lost, but I'm sure other people know what you're talking about. Yeah, people, if you're in the reality TV, her friends are dating her ex husband. No other way around. So her ex husband started dating her friend. This is how rumors started. Her friend started dating her ex boyfriend. Basically, as soon as she got divorced, she started dating her friend's boyfriend, which her friends ex, which she is like still has feelings for. And she knows that very well. Yeah. As soon as you just pull out that there's plenty of fish in the sea. So my guess is that I haven't made it on Dancing with the Stars if this hadn't happened to her. So she's on Dancing with the Stars. Yes, the girl got her heart broken. Yes. We love a come back. So I don't think she would have been on Dancing with the Stars if this hadn't happened. Oh, hey, no press. I can just say at least she gets to be on Dancing with the Stars. And then the only other one that I feel like you guys might care about a little bit is Project Broadway. It's back. I love. Oh, come on. Give it to me. What's the next season? I'm in 22. Highly clueless returns to host ill featured 22 designers. The most in shows history of premieres on July 9th on Disney Plus in free form with two episodes. Season premiere. 22 designers feels like a lot. Sometimes more is not better. I don't know. That seems a little like a lot of contestants. It does. What's typical for the show? Like 15, maybe? Oh, I don't know. That's a good question. I used to sit on my parents. I have vivid memories just brain rotting, watching full seasons of Project One of my all day long on like a weekend and just being glued to the TV. 16, 16. Yeah, for them to start with. So that's going to be a lot. But Dancing with the Stars next pro that airs on July 13th. Oh my gosh, fun. So I would watch the next pro. And there's a Dancing with the Stars con like a conference. No, the dance world is very intense, you guys. Like from a young age, when you hit these like many famous dancers, like the dance competition world, dance competition world is extreme. Yeah, it's like its own little. And this is the dance with the stars. Well, I feel like ballroom is totally separate. It is a whole separate world. Like dance. Contemporary like solo. Yeah, like in like group competitions versus that. But the dance with the stars con is like for fans to come in like all the pros. But they're really different panels, different things like they're really. Dancing with the stars is getting. They're really thriving. Can I just throw something like a hot something kind of a hot hot topic? Throw something a hot out. You know, everyone like obviously Frankie, Taylor, Frankie, Paul got in trouble. You know, OK, OK. Why is Dakota on Alex Cooper's Unwell Game Show? Why is she canceled and he not also canceled? Can I add another take on top of that? There's a lot of games. So I think this out this Alex Earl thing, she's trying to take the heat off of that. And be like, oh, like she's because she's never addressed having Dakota. That's really crazy. They both have criminal backgrounds. Yes. On this on their show. You know, Dakota. I'm sorry. OK, Alex Cooper is having an Unwell Game Show. What is it like? What's on well? Winter Game, her network. No, her podcast is called Her Daddy. No, she has the Unwell Network. Oh, yes, yes, yes, yes. Basically creating a media company. Yes, brilliant. OK, she's having an Unwell Game Show called Unwell Winter Games. And she has all these contestants. She's had many of the Secretized and Mormon Wives Girls on her show. Taylor, Frankie, Paul included, Jesse. And obviously with all this stuff going on with Taylor, Frankie, Paul and Dakota and their fight and her getting arrested and them having like domestic violence between them, she put Dakota on her winter games. Can I just publicly say that's so wrong? Like that's wrong. I think that's wrong. If Taylor, Frankie, Paul's season of the Bachelor is getting canceled. He should have been put on a pedestal and being put on this Unwell Games. I think that's wrong. I agree. And I think I have a person general public also agrees with people are talking about people are very much talking about it. So OK, why you might not be on that side. I got you. People are take them good. OK, good. Good. Well, here's the other thing. Taylor, Frankie, Paul was also supposed to be on Dance with the Stars. Like there was a whole there was a whole episode in the Bachelorette about like leading up to that announcement. Wow. So now she's not. All right, we should move on. That is my pop culture segment. I can't even get through love on the spectrum season four. So you have to finish it. It was beautiful. No, I'm trying. I'm really trying. I'm working my way. Brought me and Caleb. Caleb almost had tears in his eyes. It's beautiful. It's the sweetest show that exists. It does. It does. I love it so much. That is reality TV, baby. That's reality TV. We can stand behind. That's what I'm going to care about. I honestly don't know what to do. But I would love to hear what you guys think about. Thank you to Merit Beauty for sponsoring this portion of today's episode. If your makeup routine takes longer than roughly five minutes, it's simply. It's not happening. No, it's not going to happen. We don't have the time. And that's exactly why Merit Beauty believes great makeup should be effortless. They're clean, thoughtfully curated essentials help you get a fresh, polished look in just minutes with products you can swipe on, blend with your fingers and move on with your day. I am probably the biggest Merit Beauty fan of all time. Their flush bombs are absolutely gorgeous. And I love their signature lips, too. 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Right now, Merit Beauty is offering our listeners their signature makeup bag with your first order at MeritBeauty.com. That's M-E-R-I-T beauty.com. Get your free signature makeup bag with your first order. Visit MeritBeauty.com. Yeah, I mean, I think it's fun to talk about reality TV, even though I don't watch a lot of it. I still like to know what's going on. You watch Mormon Wives, you watch, you know, the Kardashians. Yes, I do. You know some. That's true. Yeah, I'm not fully out of the list. I'm just, I feel like I'm pretty out. But I do love love on the spectrum and I love that there. I just I'm so I'll talk about it forever. I love that their family, their siblings are so sweet to them and their parents seem like awesome people and I'm just so happy for them. Caleb's getting served a lot of love on the spectrum reels and TikToks and it keeps saying them to me and I'm like the fact that you're getting served all this like love on the spectrum content is amazing. Love this green flag. It's such a green flag. He's like, this is so sweet. Did you see this? Look at this? Look at this? Well, we're talking today about weddings, do's and don'ts. It's May, it's the spring. It is wedding. Wedding season is in full effect, which is such a fun season. I have a little sadness around weddings. Not sadness. I love weddings. I'm so excited. I shouldn't say sadness. I feel a little fomo sometimes because I got married really young. Then I moved to an island. The island of Hawaii. No, literally an island. Hawaii. Literally moved to Hawaii. And then all my friends started to get married and I became friends with only married people. So there's a whole season where I didn't. I missed all the weddings. That is a bummer. There was one year kill and I went to I think maybe 14 weddings. It was so fun. And then when some of my other friends started getting married, my own brother got married. I was popping out babies, couldn't go to them. Yeah. And we had so I was like, gosh, dang it. Well, here's the circle of life. It'll come back around with our sons. There we go. Got to wait for the next batch, I guess. I feel the same way. The year that we moved here, all of our friends got married and we're like, I can't go to all of them. So we went for one week. We caught a wedding at the beginning on that weekend before and a wedding at the end. And then we're like, we're gonna miss somewhere. I feel so sad about missing all those. I'm sorry. Such a bummer. I mean, I was supposed to be in the couple of them. Yeah, that's valid. That's valid. Well, even though bad friend, even though you missed a lot of weddings, we've obviously had our own wedding and we have been to a lot of weddings. And so we're going to do bride and groom wedding do's and don'ts and guests do's and don'ts. Yes. I'm a little please take mine with a grain of salt. Everyone they're not just for fun. Why would you even value my opinion on weddings? Please don't. If you did some of these that I said, don't. Hey, no big deal. No, literally not the big deal, but it's just fun. It's been so fun. We also got married seven years ago. Early. I know it's completely changed. We are aged. We did ask you guys, should we do ours first and then the audience? I was thinking the audience. Yeah, do the audience first. OK, we asked you what your guys' wedding regrets are, because we thought those would be really entertaining and you guys came through with some good responses. OK, so should we just tear through these? Oh, my God. Oh, my God. The first one is off to a bad start. She said wedding regret inviting my father-in-law. I'm sorry. Off the list. There's no context to that, but I can assume it was no good. Maybe it was a bad idea. Maybe it was a bad idea. I'm taking your word for it. The next one, she said, one thousand out of ten loved our wedding, but not having a day of coordinator was a bad move for the Taipei girl. I completely agree. Completely rehab, a wedding planner. Yeah, Taipei and Taipei. Taipei, get your coordinator so that you don't have to worry and Taipei get it so that your day actually happens. Did you have one? Oh, of course. This is so bad. I don't even know if I had one. I think I did. You I feel like you. I was not there. I feel like you someone. It was your aunt. Oh, did she do it? I think so. She did do it. It was my aunt. Your aunt helped me with a bunch of stuff because I had a day of corner, but I didn't have a planner beforehand. So I did all the planning and then I had the day of coordinator that just like did it, which was my friend. So your your aunt helped me write all the stuff out that I needed to have. My aunt is a wedding planner. Yeah. And I just remember I never felt more stupid in my life because I showed up to her house to like talk about my expectations for the wedding and she's like asking me all these questions. I was like, oh, whatever you think is best. These are good thoughts. I didn't think about that, honestly. And then I didn't have an answer for like any of them. I didn't even know what those categories were. Sure. She's like, so people really took care of me. So was. Yes. Anne Marie says also getting a dress I had to diet slash workout to fit in. I love the dress, but was uncomfortable all day. Yeah, that is hard. That'd be hard. Got to be comfortable. That's a good shot. Girl, that's good advice. I regret not taking leftover cake home. I didn't even eat it because I was so nervous. We also didn't have time to eat cake at our wedding and we did cupcakes. And this is really sweet. Our mom or our day of coordinator put a bunch of them in a box and we brought them to the we're supposed to save them for the year. We ate six cupcakes that night on our bed after. Well, you're a weirdo. That. I didn't mean to go there. It's just inevitable after, you know, so not necessary. Um, anyway. Say that. I mean, it's just kind of a story going and going. Well, we ate our cupcakes. You. I don't want to know the context. Um, no, we ate them normal. I just after, you know, and then we stayed up and ate up. We saved the top of our cake and froze it and ate it for our first wedding. Big bags, never going to be good. Oh, that's so good. They saved it at the wedding venue for us and they had a dinner for us. One year wedding anniversary. I did not eat cake at the wedding either. I don't think I really ate much of anything else. Just partying. Sorry, not weird, but we're not gross, but yeah, it was unnecessary. Laura said wearing heels. I was so scared I was going to fall walking down the aisle. Kind of got to wear heels. So I feel like. Well, I my dress was really long. I had to wear heels or I was going to trip. Mm hmm. Did you wear heels? Yep. Yeah, little tiny ones like one inch. You know, mine were big and I did my feet did hurt, but I said pain is game. So mine were from Amazon. They were literally like $19. Beautiful. Saw them. Yeah, they don't. Laurel says drink a little too much. Nothing bad, but wish I was more present. That's a good show. That's good show. Trinity said I regret not doing a courthouse wedding and a longer honey moon. Oh, a long honeymoon is the play. Kilvyn I suppose two weeks. It was the best time of my life. Kelly says not hiring a professional videographer had a phone on tripod. Not the same. Oh, we talked about this. Yeah, I should ask who recorded your brother in law. Your guys brother. Josh recorded it for you guys. I don't have that video. He said he's your wedding. Yeah, that's me. He probably still has it. That's that our in-laws are so good about. They're so good about taking videos and photos in the moment. And knowing how to access them later on. Yes, because they filmed our ceremony too, because we didn't have a videographer or anything. And I'm so glad that we have the ceremony recorded. Yeah, because I was like, we have no video footage of the day. And I just thought we had that, at least the main part. That's you know, pictures capture the rest. But the ceremony is beautiful and important. Isaiah said not alloping like I wanted to. We compromised on a micro wedding. It's kind of cool. I've never heard of a micro wedding. I'm sure it was beautiful. Someone said a strapless dress. I dropped 10 pounds after my last fitting and my dress wouldn't stay up. Whoa. You know what? I always said I was never going to get a strapless dress and I had a strapless dress. How did that work? Did it stay up pretty good? It stayed up. Good. I was very comfortable. They tighten that thing. It was honestly just the neckline was the most flattering for me at that time. But I didn't think I would ever want one. Also, my wedding dress was it was in the basement of this bridal shop. So I wasn't like I was like necessarily picking from like my dress. It was just that one. That one was on clearance. Yeah. And I got it and it was two hundred dollars. Oh my gosh. But they did it. It was like I think it was like three or four sizes too big. So then they just took it all down and then they made it the right height and everything. Yeah. That's amazing. A little belt to it. It was so but yeah, I never thought I'd get a strapless dress. But I was like, well, this one's the one. Yeah, like this one. Really, I am this is something I have noticed a pattern. I try the first thing I try on. I really like my ring, my dress and my husband. Yeah, they're the first good decision making. That's they're the first I ever had. And I was like, great, I love it. It's amazing. You know what you like, you know what you like. Very decisive. Oh, we got another one. Grace said I regret marrying my husband. Oh, no, Grace. Grace, I'm sorry, girl. I don't know what to come. I need more condoms. Oh, I'm sorry. I don't regret it. Not still very good. You just learn from it and move on. Right. Unless you're still married. OK, yeah, that's what you need more content. I'm like, I need a little more content. Kayley says we left early and didn't party. We also waited for marriage, though. So so you partied just different. That's what I'm saying. I like that I got them on. Definitely party. You're going to get to do the rest of the stuff. Your whole marriage. Oh, that's what I enjoy your wedding. Oh, your wedding. Oh, what were you saying? Leave at nine. That's plenty late. I'm at nine. Yeah, I actually think I left my wedding at nine. I think mine ended at nine. You guys stayed the whole time because you had fireworks. We stayed till the end, but the end was at nine, whereas like some weddings I've been to, I feel like they were like ten usually. Or way later, you know, my wedding started at like 430. So mine was like early. So we ended at like nine or nine 30. Mine started kind of late because it was a Friday. I didn't get photos with the grandparents individually. And I did photos with them together. Yeah, that was right out your photos list before. So you have all thought through and check it twice. Have a vocal photographer to because that is the hardest thing is organizing everyone and you don't want to be the one as the bride being like, hey, you're in this, you're not in this. Like I appreciated that our photographer was more like, like soft spoken, but she had someone with her that was like collecting everyone. Yes. So that was nice. That is nice. I mean, I'm a fan of a megaphone. I know it's a little tacky, maybe, but that megaphone. This one says not getting a tan before. Yeah, you got it. It's I mean, you're wearing white. You're wearing white. Stacy said not paying more for a better hair and makeup stylist. Don't like my wedding pictures. Sadly. Oh, that's a common regret. I feel like. Yeah, that's a good good advice. Not my mom even talked about her hair and makeup still from her wedding. I feel like she's like, it was the style. I'm like, yeah, the 90s. Yeah. Anything goes, man. This one says not being more assertive in what I wanted and trying to make everyone happy. Mm, I'm sure a lot of people can relate to that. I didn't really have a strong vision for my wedding day. I mean, I kind of did, but I was just like, Hey, here's my inspo pictures. You know, go do your job. I was too young. I hadn't been to other weddings. I literally I had no opinions. Yeah, I feel like I knew like visually what I wanted, but I didn't really care how it was executed. Like I was like, this is the inspo and I'm hiring you to do it. So I'm going to trust you to do your job. And if it doesn't turn out, it's OK. That's kind of my attitude. Mallory said, I just got married in January. I regret not going. I regret not going around to my guest tables to say hi to everyone. That's really sweet. I will say, think ahead of how you want to address everyone in a way that's like efficient, but then you still feel like you get to see everyone. Yeah, we saw like we saw everyone. We dismissed everyone from the ceremony. So we got to see everyone like as they were like leaving the ceremony. That's yeah, I was going to say I've been to weddings to do that and it's really efficient and it's nice and you don't have to worry about the rest of the night. Yeah, we did walk around the tables at the reception to just one. I was just having fun, though. That's not for everyone. I don't remember what we did. This one says letting my mom have her way with most of everything. You regret that? I feel like that's what my mom did. We did. It was a great time. I had a great time. Yeah. My mom threw a great wedding. Yeah, I think it probably depends on your relationship with your mom. Totally. Or maybe how your mom liked her vision for things. Totally. Hannah said, not just paying for the limo, we ended up with a stripper bus. It's OK, girl. We don't bump in Caleb's 1991 Camry. So, hey, baby. Yeah, yo. I think they're talking about with the wedding party. Oh, I feel like a party bus can be fun. A lot of people do that. Party bus is fun. Yeah. Yeah. Not getting a hotel night of not getting a hotel night of we just went back home, which was still special, but I get that. I get that. Yeah. You want to feel like a different. Yes, we had someone if you're not wanting to spend money on it, we had someone gifted to us, which was really nice. So that's something you could like ask for, or even like put on your registry, just like a money fund or something. Yeah, totally. We this girl said, Miss Piggy, having my hair pulled back. Yeah, I liked having my hair up. She regrets having her hair up. Oh, having my hair pulled back. Oh, I liked having my hair pulled up. Mine was so sweaty. Yeah. I actually didn't love my hair the day of just because I there was a different hairspray to use in my curls fell, which made me a little bummed. Oh, but I don't look I don't look back. I had a weird thing where I was like, I did it for all the problems and my wedding. I was like, if I have a formal event, my hair has to be up and up due because I never do it. And so I was like, I need to do that for my wedding. Yeah. And I did it for prom. I like some sort of up to two. Yeah. I think it's my chubby cheeks. It makes me feel a little more. Oh, yes. A obligatory invites and bridesmaids. Oh, don't feel obliged to do anything. Yeah, we did our invites on this to print and got them really inexpensive. I think we did the same. Yeah, you don't have to do an expensive. No, no, I think she means like inviting people. She didn't want to invite and having bridesmaids. I think you're right. You do have to send an invite of some sort. You have to know the information. I think she means like she felt obligated to invite someone that she didn't want to invite and she's regretting that. Oh, I take it at least. I thought that a little bit like I was. I remember we had a tight guest list and it was kind of hard sometimes because obviously like my parents, my parents paid for it. So they obviously wanted to invite their friends. And so I, I think I kind of had to come to understanding. I'm like, there are just some people that are going to be invited. I don't know. And it's that's none of my business. And it's okay. The regretting having bridesmaids is kind of sad. That is there was like a quintessential part for me. Yeah, it's girlhood, you know, Kelsey says having to get to the airport by six a.m. the next day for a honeymoon. Don't do that. Don't do that. All the day after that, if you want to do it right afterwards, exact that you need to put, you need to build a day in there. Yeah, too many people make that mistake. They do get too excited. It's not going to feel fun that day. No, you want to sleep in. This person said using the photographer that came in the venue package. Oh, I'm sorry. Would you have to? You probably they regretted that. No, like they probably gave an option. And you have someone that comes with the venue. Probably not going to capture the vision. Yeah, you picture in not the artsy ones. Yeah. Being so busy. I didn't have time to visit with everyone that came. Yeah. And Cassie said spending too much time taking pics. Too much time taking pics. I hated taking pictures at the wedding. If I'm told. I loved it. I just want to get back to the party. I didn't really care about the party. I was like, just get me kissing in the vineyard with my smoochy. There is my smoochy. I did not. I just didn't want to take pictures. I just wanted to go have fun. I was like, let's dance. Yeah, yeah. This one says spending close to 100k instead of saving it for a down payment on a house. There's a fine balance. There's a balance. 100k feels like a hefty budget. Especially if you're paying for it yourself. I get it too. And then in hindsight, you're like, you know, 10 years down the road, you think, wow, I could have bought a killer house with that. That's a lot of money. Yeah. It's a lot of money. Totally, totally. Well, those are great. You guys, thanks for saying those in. I feel like that's good advice to people. It's always, I feel like that's so interesting when I was engaged. I just wanted to hear all the things like, what did you want to do differently? You know? Yeah. I just wanted to hear our do's and don'ts for, let's start with the brides. I feel like we should start with the guests, don't you think? Let's start with the guests. Right? Okay. Sure. Here's my first one for the guests. Do take lots of videos of the bride and groom to send to them. And just send them all the videos and footage after. Because we, like I said, we didn't have a videographer. So my memories and clips that I have are just from what people sent me and it feels so special. And I wish I took more pictures and videos getting ready, hanging with my girlfriends. Like I didn't, I wasn't on my phone because I wanted to be in the moment. And I really wish maybe more so than maybe that my friends took more pictures and videos for me. But you know, I just like have someone or have your, so if you're a guest, take lots of videos and pictures for them. I feel like I've seen a trend though where brides are like, please do not record. Yeah. I don't like that. They didn't want their smartphones out. I want the smartphones out. You want the videos? Yeah. And I will break that rule at your wedding. No, I will. I will. And they specifically asked that feels crazy. Yeah, I bet. But yeah, I think that's good advice. Yeah, I do have some like, like I know like on my Google drive or Google photos or like pictures people just randomly took and sent me. It was the boomerang season. So I have a lot of boomers. I have a lot of boomerangs. So I got a lot of boomerangs for my wedding, which is pretty funny and special. I went to a wedding. They had a QR code on the, on the table that had a joint Google album. So if you took photos and videos, you can just add it to that Google. So you get them all the same place. People aren't texting you photos doing, you know, you make sure you get them all. Wait, it's good. Do people still do wedding hashtags? No. And guess what? That felt like the burden of my life trying to think of a hashtag. Did you have one? Yeah, I can't remember what it was. Here comes the Howard something really generic, something like that. What if that was mine? It should have been. No, I don't remember what mine was, but people used to do hashtags so you could go on the hashtag and find everyone like the pictures. It was a simpler time on social media. But I actually do. This isn't my advice, but like on like along those same lines, we had a family member that wasn't like a close like I'm not, I'm saying finding an extended cousin that recorded on a camera for us. And then in hindsight, we edited all that. Like Matt edited all that footage and put it together. And that is a, it's very budget friendly because that's like her gift to us is that she recorded during the wedding. Yeah. And then we had so much footage and it also just felt so personal that Matt put it together. So that's very niche because most husbands aren't going to know how to edit. But I feel like you could slice and dice a video together. It's just a matter of having the footage. Right. Totally. And then you have a camera, which is also something you're going to want for your life. So I actually liked that. That's how that, that wasn't necessarily all thought out intentionally, but it worked out really well. It's good. For the guests. Okay. This is just so obvious. Don't be late. And this is really for people like me, like don't be walking in. My other ones do get there early. I'm a story. Don't be late. Don't be late. This is what I said. Okay. That was a small one. This one says, I don't just show up for the ceremony or don't just show up for the reception. I do think that there's a temptation to just come for the fun part, but like the meal and the party. If, if you, unless you have like a, like a legitimate reason, go to go to the ceremony beforehand because that's the purpose of the wedding. Oh, I didn't know people did that. Oh, I know a lot of those go to reception. Really? I know people who do the opposite. They'll go to ceremony and not the reception. Do that. Do that. If you're going to go swing away, tell them you don't want a meal. Yes. Tell them you're not coming. Yes. Because you don't want to have just like a bunch of unclaimed paid for meals. Right. But a lot of people will just like come further. You're like, we want you to witness the vows. Right. That's what it's here for. Right. Yep. That's good. That's really good. Yeah. I said do get there early. Right. We, I, this is the one place around like 15 minutes early every time we have to. And we were, we walked in two minutes early and I was like, few. Okay. We still made it in time. Can you never also know what parking is going to look like? You never know. And you might have a little bit of a walk to the venue. I walk in, I make eye contact with the bride as she's walking down the aisle. She went down the aisle two minutes early. That was a horrible moment for me. I was like, you look beautiful. Like waving her down. That's horrible. That's horrible. Reverse. I was like, we got to go. As someone who has coordinated a wedding, if you are late, don't go in. Don't go in. It, it, it draws attention to you. It disrupts, especially if it's a small venue that has like just one door. My venue for my wedding was on that. When you walk in the front door, you can go around until you get to the, so if someone walked in late, you couldn't tell. There was no doors opening. It was big enough. There's a really small venue in Springfield that a lot of people have their weddings at. You open that door, everyone goes, yeah. It's so loud and echoey in there. Like don't come in. I texted my friend who was late to one. I was like, don't come in. I love you. They want you to be here. Please don't walk in. I know. It's so distracting. So yeah, that's a tough one. That's a tough one. They'll never know. They'll never know. Wait, did you do a don't? I did a don't. That was bad. What are we doing? Are we okay? No, I'm just going to go. We didn't have our plan this week. I'm just going to go through it randomly. Okay, just go through it. I'm doing a do now. Okay. Do, give them a gift. Oh yeah. But send it to their house if it's an option. Because I feel like now this is an option that wasn't like available for our parents. But if they have a place where you can just send it to you, you don't even have to worry about wrapping. It's better for you. You have to worry about wrapping. It goes where they want it and then they don't have to worry about collecting everything at the end. But yeah, I would say get as obviously as your budget allows, get a nice gift if they're like providing drinks, dinner, like this nice evening that I feel like that's just transaction. That is worthy of that. Totally. Also, if you're not invited to a shower and you're not going to bring a gift to a shower, I would say just bring money because and bring it in an envelope and put it in their little letter box there. That was such a blessing to us. I mean, we had some very generous family and friends that gave us letters with a lot of cash and it was, I mean, it just sets you up on such a nice foot for your wedding and starting your life together. So, you know, yeah, if you're not going to a shower or you don't want to cart a big gift, yeah, bring an envelope cash. That's a nice one. Okay, my don't, I did both my dues. Yeah, this one, don't wear white. I did that. I did that. I did make a mistake. I remember you talking about this. I didn't realize it until my friend Kenzie. She loves weddings. She's a wedding coordinator and she asked me if she could borrow a dress and I pulled out all my dresses and in my head, this dress was blue. It's a blue. How do you confuse that? Well, I had blue flowers all over it. Oh, but it's a white dress with blue flowers. I was like, this is a blue dress. She was, I mean, that's a white dress. I said, this is not a white dress. This is a blue dress. She said, I mean, that dress is white with blue flowers. That's a white dress. And I look back at it. I did wear this white dress with blue flowers with white heels to a wedding. So he and I apologize. Yeah. I didn't make that mistake. 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And if you see a post purchase survey, mention that you heard about Cosiureth right here. Comfort lives here. Okay, I have a do for wedding guests. Okay. Please be fun on the dance floor. When people are all just sitting back, when everyone's trying to dance, I feel like I've been to a lot of weddings where it's like the bride in the groom and their wedding party is trying, which is their job, to try to make it fun. Maybe I care too much about the dance party, but I really care about this and I feel like it made my wedding so, I loved this part of my wedding so much. Try to be fun. Yeah. Try to participate. Don't just be sitting back. Get sweaty. Get sweaty. Do the cheesy dances. Yeah. I don't, like, I, like, something I loved about our wedding is that it wasn't even just the young people on the dance floor. Like, there was like, like older couple, like everyone was having fun on the dance floor and it just made it so fun for Matt and I. Yeah. That was really fun. I have some strong opinions on this and advice that I'm going to share on our Patreon extended episode because this unlocks something that I feel strongly about. Okay. Okay. I have a strong opinion that I will also share. Good idea. I'm going to save it for the Patreon. Okay, I'm going to save it for the Patreon because these opinions are strong. This one could be crazy. Okay. My last dope for guests. Yeah. Don't say bye to the groom and bride at the end of the wedding. That's a good one. Caleb always wants to go say bye out of like respect and be like, thank you for the wedding. It was beautiful. Congratulations. I'm like, do not stop their dance party to go say bye because then it's sad. Like, I remember feeling sad when people said bye because the night was ending. I was like, this is such a special day. You guys don't stay till the end. Well, it was late. No, not always. Not in the last couple of years. We don't always stay till the end. Here. I'm like, you know, I don't know, just don't say bye. I'm like, let's just sneak out and not draw attention to the fact that we're leaving their party. You know, yeah, that's a bummer. It's a bummer. You can say bye to the parents. Don't say bye to the bride and groom. Don't do a long speech. And this is my personal opinion. Don't cuss in your speech at a wedding. Come on. There's all types of people. It's a classy, formal event. Yeah. I've just happened. I've been like, this is going really long. I think the sweet spot four minutes is beautiful. Great amount of time for a speech. If you're going over 10, someone's got to take the mic. You've got to cut it. That's crazy. Yeah. And also keep it, keep it clean and don't share things that are going like, we can have a joke for the reception, but let's not make it messy for everyone. I love a roast. I love a roast personally. Like a roast. At the reception. Yeah. What are you talking about? Sometimes it gets a little casual at ceremony sometimes, which is what I was going to bring up. Your speech is a service. Not a speech. I'm talking about, this is a separate thing that I always talk about for the bride's portion. Okay. I'm confused. Like if the officiant is like trying to be the main character. Oh yeah. We don't like that. You're like, just give me my, just tell me what to say. Keep it formal. Yeah, you should. But also I think just, yeah, you can make, like make a tasteful joke. Yeah. Tasteful joke. I think it could be funny and like kind of mean, but I don't think it shouldn't be shameful. Also just know that people are all kinds of people are there, like from their, you know, grandparents or children, grandparents, friends, like keep a like awareness there. Yeah, I would agree. I've seen some that are going really, really low and I'm like, this is a nice formal event. Yes. Yes, I agree. I agree. So you go to bride. Let's do the bride. Okay. So then I've been to a couple of weddings. I've done this. If your budget allows, do a late night dance floor dinner, like a second dinner, whether it's inexpensive, maybe it's French fries and chicken strips and burgers or you have a food truck come or something, something to where after the party's going and the dance has been had and you're hungry again, you have something fun for your guests to go eat and chow or maybe they want to take a break from dancing and go eat. It's so fun. It's such a good idea. I've loved the weddings that have had that. That's fun. Yeah. It makes it feel like a full night thing, even if it's not later into the night. You know? That's fun. I've never been to a wedding with that. Yeah. Just kidding. Did we have something at ours? Yeah, maybe they have. I feel like you guys, I was not there. Yeah, thanks. For some reason, why do I feel like you guys didn't have something late night? I feel like we did have something. Like something passed around or? Like, yeah. Yeah. A little bag to go. Yeah. For the bride, I would say, once again, these are just my opinions. I said, don't overdo your makeup because I feel like there's been certain times where I will see someone's wedding photos or like just like, I'm like, oh, they're not actually necessarily recognizable. Like I would, I want to look like I was really glad I looked like myself. Same. I would agree. Yeah. Like, and I feel like also a lot of things with like big, like over the top makeup, it does tend to sway towards a trend. Yeah. And then you're like, okay, you'll look at your photos later on. You're like, why did I do like trends that'll come and go? Like extreme contour or thick eyeliner or those big lashes, like fake lashes. Like you might be like, I just kind of wish I did something that felt more like me and I looked like myself for these. Totally. If your thing is a smokey eye, do a smokey eye. Yeah. If you've never done a smokey eye in your life, your wedding is not the time to do a smokey eye. You're also just, it's more risky because you're more likely to dislike it down the line because you're like, that's not what I normally look like. Totally. Thick brow or like really dark brows. If you don't normally fill them in that much, like let's just. Don't do it. I don't want to feel elevated, but like do something that feels like you, like your face looks like your face. Totally. I agree. That's a really good one. Yeah, I'm grateful. I did mine really natural. Just like enhance your natural beauty. Your makeup looks so good. Thanks. Aurora, she did a great job. This is something that Caleb had us do in the moment. That was really sweet. And he tells this advice to a lot of people. I think he told you guys this, but at dinner, sit down, take a deep breath, hold hands with your husband and just like slowly take in all the people there in the room. There's not many other times in your life, maybe your funeral where like everyone you love. That's not in your life. You're right. So there's never again a time in your life where every single person in your room, all your friends, all your family are going to be there together just to celebrate you and be excited and happy and you're going to get to experience it too. And so just sit there and look around and just take in that moment. That's like a very memorable moment from our wedding too because you're just, you're rushing around, you're stressed, you're going, there's so much happening. It's exciting. And then you just get there and it's like, let's just pause and just like recognize where we are. And it was really sweet. Yeah. I'm pretty sure Caleb did that to us on the dance floor. It was sweet. I remember that. That's sweet. Do. I don't know that I would have thought to do this. I didn't definitely didn't plan this in advance. It's one of those things that just kind of happened and I'm so grateful it did. This is Matt and I, when we got married, we didn't do any kind of social media. But the night of the wedding, when we got back to our hotel room, I'm like still in the dress, he's still in his suit. The, we, I don't know why Matt thought to do this. I feel like their family is like good documenters. Also first up all over me, it's because I just had to help a kid and it came at the cost of like peanut butter, slobber. I don't know what that is. But you guys know. It's okay. We sat down and we kind of just made a video talking to ourselves, be as we were married, like say like, we're like, just remember how you feel right now. Like how in love you feel, how many people just came to witness your wedding. And I feel like we unintentionally made it for like hard times in marriage. Like for it's like, so if we're like mad at each other or it feels like, oh, we're just like in a roommate stage or I don't know, whatever it can be because these times will happen. We both will watch that video together and it's just for us. No one else has literally ever seen this video. It's never been posted certainly. But it's so sweet because we're like, that's still us. Like that is us. The people that we got that chose to get married that were so in love and so giddy that day. Like I don't know something about that video just makes it so easy to tap into that again. You're like this silly argument that we're in is really not that important because this is what we entered into. And remember how we were like when we were entered into this. It's obviously you're going to change and evolve in your marriage is going to like grow both of you in certain ways that change you as individuals and as a couple. But having that was I love that. Yeah. And I've told a couple random people do it and they were like, it's so fun. Like for us like mad. We're like, oh, should we watch the video? And we're like, it's kind of fun. It's just a quick video of like, dang, I wish we would have done that. And it's also we also kind of made it for our kids in the future too. Oh, like we talked to our kids in that little video too. Oh my gosh. I wish we would have done that. That's really sweet. That's really good advice. That should have been your number one. It was my number one. Oh, perfect. I love that. Okay, mine, I'm moving on to my don'ts while you're going positive. I'm going negative. I'm all over the place. Um, I also said, don't have too many speeches. And I think this can go, I'll turn this into a doom. I do have open mic at your rehearsal dinner. Oh yeah. Let that be the time. So don't have long speeches at your wedding because it's painful for the guests. I mean, I have a couple have your main, but not too many. Don't have any more than like your made of honor, groom and dad. You know what I mean? Like my dad didn't even do it. Yeah, husband. Just, you know, keep it small at the wedding, but at your rehearsal dinner, have an open micro people can just go up and just shower you with love and praises and words of encouragement and words of advice. I have gone to so many rehearsal dinners where they do that. And it is, it's sometimes I love those nights more than the wedding sometimes because it's so intimate. It's so special and it's just truly memorable. Um, and you do want to be like, people should shower you with words. And so I sometimes, yeah, I don't always think the reception is the place to do that, but like there should be a place and that's the rehearsal dinner. So make sure you make your rehearsal. And they're so, I don't know, just intentional. Don't brush over your rehearsal dinner because it's a beautiful night. I agree there. And my sister, she or her husband, they're like a little more on the shire side. And they didn't want to do any speeches at the wedding. And so, and they didn't have an open mic at the rehearsal dinner either, but they let the, um, made of honor and the, um, best man do speeches at the rehearsal dinner. So I did my speech there. And I think that also, even if you're like, I don't want speeches, let give them that opportunity to, to love on you guys and like say some things to you guys. Cause they have thoughts about you guys and want to shower you. And so like, totally let them do that. Yeah. I love, I love wedding speeches. Don't get me wrong. I love like those main ones. Cause I do think it's important to like share positive things with the couple. Just not too many of them. My best friend growing up, and she's still like one of my really dear friends. Her siblings prepared a whole song and it sounds so cheesy, but it was, it was, but it was so well done. Wow. And they changed the whole lyrics of the song to be specific to her and her fiance. Oh, and I was like, what a cool way to incorporate this. Yeah. I don't know. They had, I'm sure like they had so many exchanges, but like at the, it was at the wedding and it was so cool. That's obviously very niche for like a musically inclined artistic family. Right. It was so good and so cute. Yeah. Have to watch it. It was, I have a whole video. It was so good. I think you showed it to me. It was Morgan. Yeah. Yeah. To Hamilton. So special. So cute. Um, I think about that one a lot. Only you can only do it at the wedding if it's in musical number. As far as I'm concerned. Um, okay. Well, I guess I'll bring, I'll do a don't now. Um, I was talking about this with my mom and she brought this one up and I was like, honestly, that is kind of a good one. Don't just ask for cash. I feel like this is kind of where we're swinging now where it's like, it's so practical, right? You're like, I'll get what I need as I need it. And like, like I can just use cash on anything. I think everyone has knows they have that option already. If they want to give cash, I think as some guests, especially probably your older guests really want to give you a specific gift attached to Addy's like, not because she's a, she's a gift. Like she feels she's a gift. And so, and I do think that it is special for like people to know that there's like what, like what they're giving you. And I don't know. It's kind of a nice thing, but also you are getting the gift. So it's, it's, it's nice both ways. I think everyone knows that they can give you cash if you want, or they can write a check, but to have some gift options for people to buy off your registry, I think that's meaningful to people. And I know you got me from my wedding. Me? Yeah. You and your mom, this was just for my bridal shower, but you and your mom got me that salad bowl and tongs I use like every Sunday. Oh yeah. I have the same one. I love that bowl. Yeah. And it's kind of fun for me too. Now I know like what you guys, what people got me and I think about people like a lot. So it might seem like impractical, but it is, I think it's a nice thing to do. Yeah. I think also with the cash thing, at least for me, if someone gives me cash, even for my birthday or Christmas or my wedding, it just kind of got spit on. What it like, it didn't go to. Right. I don't remember what I spent it on. Like, and I probably just kept it and used it on date night. So what I go in the budget versus like buying the rest of the things on our registry or I might have even just put it in the bank account and put it towards savings, like instead of someone being like, here's this gift and it being that money put towards those things. Yeah. Good different trains thought. Let it happen. Like just ask for cash. Give me money. No, I wouldn't. I mean, all the gifts, I had a lot of showers though. So people got basically all of our gifts off of our registry for our showers. And so like the actual wedding day came and we people were just really generous with their cash, which was, I think at the end of the night, I thought so overwhelmed. I was like, whoa, people are so generous. And so maybe it's like a different form of generosity that I felt, you know, it was like a gift, I don't know, versus like, but like you had a registry. Yeah, I did. Oh yeah. That's what I'm saying. Like to have a registry, like have an option for sure. Get you a gift. That's not just a random gift too, because that will also happen. No, yeah, you should definitely, definitely have a packed stacked registry. With a multitude of price ranges. Yes. Sometimes I open someone's registry. I'm like, okay. This is all great, Merrill. I don't really know you that well. Gift card it is. Literally, literally. Okay. My next don't, um, this is a hot take. This is don't have a first look and this, there's a lot of schools of thoughts on this. And I understand logistically why people do first looks and so they could do pictures beforehand, but the other most memorable part of our wedding was the anticipation of them opening the doors and me locking eyes with Caleb for the first time that day. I ugly cried, but you know what? I love those pictures because it was the most memorable moment of both of our lives. And it was just truly so incredible. It felt like they're opening heaven's gates. You know, like, did you do it first? Amazing. None of us did a first look. Yeah. And I know it's, that's not common. And it did have longer pictures and like a longer cocktail hour to like, you know, get all of our pictures in, which that's not always the most fun for guests, but. Who cares? Like the, it is so special seeing like, Oh man, I just can't even put into words how beautiful and amazing it was. The anticipation. Unreal. Okay. This is a do that I don't, I wish I didn't have to say this. I wish I didn't have, I wish it wasn't the case. I wish it wasn't reality. I wish it wasn't, there just wasn't the thing. But I do think that you need to write thank you cards. Yeah, for your wedding. Yeah. Yeah. But with a caveat, I do think your husband needs to write thank you cards as well. Agreed. It's a shared responsibility. But I will say I, I personally am one that I'm like, there's very few things where I'm like, I think you should write a thank you card for. In which case, I honestly think wedding, wedding might be the only thing that I'm like, because sometimes, especially in this modern era, like I said, you send the gifts directly to their house. You don't even know if they got it or not. Right. And so I hate to say it because I hate it writing them. I know it took me a year. Took a long time. It took me a year to write them all. And I do think it should be a shared responsibility. Yeah. But you both have to, I think you should do it. I think you should. I know. I felt like for my showers, it was my responsibility. Yes. The shower, the shower one for mine. I think I, I made Blake do those ones. Like anyone who was invited from his side of the family, he wrote those. Yeah. This is a great gift. If you're throwing someone a bridal shower. Have the people, when they walk in, write their envelope with their name and address on it and have stamps there. And that's like a really amazing shower gesture to do for your brides. Cause that was the hardest part, honestly, was addressing all the envelopes. That's our mother in law did. Theresa did all that. Yeah. For her friend shower. Yes. Yes. I think that's maybe where I got the idea. Yeah. It's a huge blessing because, um, yeah, it's just, it's one of those things. It's just, yeah, it's hard, but it's important because you are grateful. And people spend a lot of money. Yeah. And it's just, it's one of those things. Yeah. It's just a wedding. You're only going to do it one time. Totally. Maybe hopefully. Hopefully. Yeah. I have some more that I think we're probably going to move the rest of the future. I'm going to keep my more out of pocket ones. Okay. I'm saying my ideas. I'm out of pocket ones. I feel like these ones are going to like, these are practical and good. And like, I think people will actually get value from these ones. The other ones are like funny hot. This is just my personal opinion. Yeah. Don't mind me. Right. Exactly. Yeah. We'll continue the rest of this conversation over on Patreon and we'll give us some more fledged out of our lists. Um, and we're going to pick back up here with book club, voicemails and always hungry. Thank you better help for supporting this portion of today's episode. May is mental health awareness month and a time to open up the conversation and prioritize taking care of our mental wellbeing. It's also a reminder that you don't have to go through anything alone because with today's sponsor, better help. There's someone who's always with you, someone who's trained to listen. And for me personally, I feel like things really changed for me when I became a mom, I felt much more of this responsibility to make sure I'm showing up as the best version of myself every day. A lot of that started with unpacking so many things that I never thought carried weight that we're carrying weight. It's also great just to have that accountability and that check in with like what's going on, what needs to change, what areas do I need to grow in? I've seen a lot of benefits from it personally. Also having a third party person who doesn't know you, doesn't always know the situation can give you unbiased help. Better help makes therapy accessible wherever you are, whether online or through the app. Take the quiz and get matched with a licensed therapist quickly. You can switch anytime and no extra cost if it's not the right fit. 82 percent of clients recommend their therapist, which is really awesome. I love how accessible it is because sometimes it's just not realistic to get in person to therapy. Sure. And this works for you on your schedule at your own home. You really can't beat that. So click the link in the description or go to betterhelp.com slash always to get 10 percent off your first month of therapy because no one should have to go through anything alone. Better help is here with you. OK, book club time. Woo. Book club. We were in The Just Friends by Hailey Pham. Her first book, she's a YouTuber. You've followed her for such a long time, huh? I have. I mean, I'm a big fan of her husband, Ryan Trahan, and I think there's sweet couples. So I was excited to support her and her first book journey. Before she became a book YouTuber. Really? Yes. That's really cool. Yes. And as I was reading this book, I was like, how often do you read an author's debut novel? Right. I don't think I've ever read anyone's debut novel. I don't think I have either. Especially like to publish your day. I feel like a lot of people write a lot and then, you know, and I just kept thinking like how I literally was like fiction writing might be one of the most vulnerable things to release to the to the, you know, the vastness of the internet and the world. Why? Because fiction is just like purely coming from your imagination and like your own, your own voice in a way through another character. Like it just feels like you would think sharing your own life feels personal for me. Like it feels vulnerable, but I would feel more vulnerable sharing like something that I like created. Yeah. This is a personal thing, maybe, but something I created. I'm like, this is like, this is, I don't know. It's so new to it's hard to do a new thing and to do it at such a big public scale. So I have so much respect for her for like releasing this when she already had like so many eyes on her. Yeah. And I know just from following her journey, like did not come easily. Like you don't just write a whole chapter book when it's like, oh, done. Right. Like especially because I feel like she was so deeply involved in the process, whereas like I don't, I've heard there's like, I'm sure there's ways around actually writing your own book, actually writing your own book. And I don't think that was her process. No. And so she documented so much of it. And so like I just have like major props to her totally for this whole project. Agreed. I was thinking about that. Can I get my book, my copy of it? Yeah, go get it. Go get it. Cute. And I have it in my always here book bag. I love it. So cute. Abigail got me this for Christmas. Oh, shout out, Carly. This is the book. Yay. Sorry. What were you going to say? Like anytime you're you was venturing to something new and you're so public about it, you're just so open to opinion. Like it's so vulnerable. And so I just read it with a lot of admiration of her. Like, wow, this is really brave and really, really impressive. I genuinely enjoyed reading the story for her first book. I was like, wow, this is she's got she's got so much potential, like so talented. I thought the storyline was really cute. I actually enjoyed that their relationship. Like I feel like sometimes when you're reading a book and like when two people break apart and they get back together, it's kind of like one big moment and then they're back together. I actually liked in the story how you saw in Blair's mind, like how she kind of struggled with getting back and like some of the process of them getting back together. I love that she drew that out. I don't read that very often in many books. Mm hmm. Yeah, I think the whole story was very wholesome and sweet. Yeah. Spoiler alert. I love that they got married. And like I love I also love being like having met my husband. We were very young, like history, like growing up together, that aspect, like same. They brought back a lot of feelings. Yeah, I love that. But the best part, in my opinion, did you see the dedication? Yes, it was so sweet. It's so sweet. It says for Ryan, who's her husband, who made my life a romance book before I discovered them. I read that to Caleb and I was like, oh, my gosh, because he's a big Ryan man. Very sweet. And the acknowledgments page, she wrote something sweet to him, too. So sweet. I know. Um, yeah, I think the whole book was very wholesome. Like I feel like it could be great if you have like it's great for a wide audience of people. I would say, especially like if I would have read this, like as a new reader, like a new adult reader or even like in high school, I think this would be a great book. Yeah, it's so cute. Look at that. Yeah, agreed. And all the illustrations at the front of the covers were really cute. This would be a really cute book if you wanted to read something with your daughter and like she's a young adult in high school. This is like a great book that you could read together. It's a quick read, quick read, entertaining, sweet, wholesome. The coffee shop element is very sweet as well. Yep. I want to go to this town. Seabrook. Yes. And I want to see the cottage. I know. Is it a real cottage? No, I don't think so. Oh, you want to go to this town that she made up? Yeah, I want to go to this big town in California. I think it's based off of. At real place. Yeah. Oh, really? I thought it was really cute and it's made up, but it's. Stop up. Yeah. Yeah. What do you think? No, I thought it was really cute, easy to read. I thought it was like not too heavy either way. Like the highs weren't super high and the lows weren't super low. So I felt like it was like it's not making you go deep into those like trenches. That's why I think it's really good for like new readers or like teenagers would probably be and it's not like too spicy or anything like that. It's not spicy at all. No, it's not spicy at all. Zero spice. Yeah. I thought it was really good. I will say too. I think that I. Feel like she did touch on some heavier topics, but in a way that's not like it's not going to like evoke strong emotion out of you. Like you're worried about that, but like she does talk about grief in a way that I was like, that's very profound and like that did. Like there's times where she's like talking about how like she has the character in the book, which also there there's aspects to like if you're maybe come from like an immigrant family, which I think that I think she is. Yes. And so that was an interesting like dynamic in the book to read about. Sure it was. But also like she does touch touch on grief a lot. That's a heavy like subplot or not subplot, but like. I think it's main main plot. It's a trope in it. I don't know. I don't know what terms are, but she talks about grief in a way that I thought was really cool. Something that stood out to me in the conversation about grief is when she's talking about the character loses like her like great aunt that is very like pivotal to her life. She talks about how like there was a period of time where she was feeling like angry towards her friends and like how they were like she felt like they weren't handling her grief. Well, then she talked about the character coming to this realization that like it is her responsibility to like invite people in on that, which I think was something I haven't heard a lot like that thought. And I was like, that's actually very like that was a really interesting way to think about it. Yeah. And I think that's very gracious to like friends in your life and a great way to view it too. And then you could see that the friends did want to be a part of like her life. They just didn't really know how important this person was to her. And like also like the thought of like her changing her life trajectory completely. Like she wanted, she's had these high hopes of being this author in New York City. And then like slowing down and like changing things and like how her life looks different. That is like a really cool, I guess like coming of age element of the book too. Yeah. So yeah, I think it was a really sweet book that also had some deeper. It had depth. It had some depth to it too. It did. Hearing her speak about like grief and her emotions. I think I relate a lot to the character in that sometimes I just don't want to share my emotion. And so hearing her process, like why it's important to share her emotions with people and like how it benefits the other person. I actually was like, wow, this is really good for me to read. I'm getting a lot of this. So just on your aspect of that, like I really enjoyed reading that. That stood out to me too. Yeah. Yeah. And then also, um, when she was talking about grief, she was something else that stood out was, and she was talking about how it was so weird after she had just lost her aunt. It was so weird that people were like, I don't remember exactly how she said it, but we're like just going to the grocery store and just like going and doing their life. And I think there is like a jarring moment when something so tragic happens to you. You're like, how are you just going about your life? Like doing these, these light everyday tasks and like my whole life just got up, like upended. And I think she talked about it in a way that was like, that was like, it felt really real. Yeah. And so that was, it wasn't just like, oh, like overall this book, I would say is very safe to pick up if you're like by the pool and you're just picking it up on a vacation. But there are also, there's some depth to it that will like connect you to the characters that makes you care about them. And so I also just realized on the back that Mari McFarland wrote a review and that's like one of her favorite authors. So that's probably really cool for her. Whoa, that's really cool. And Lynn Painter, who was one of her favorite, like her, that author made her want to like fall in love with reading and want. So I'm like, that's really cool. That's really, I didn't know I've never heard any of that. That's amazing. Yeah. So I'm like, that's just really, really sweet for her. And I just feel like as another creator, like I just, I commend her so much for doing something. Like, I don't know that I would be that brave to put something out there like this, like it's just, there's a lot on the line. Like you can't just like try something and like, there's a lot of opinions. Like if some, yeah, there's just so much, you're already diving into the deep into the pool. Like you don't even get a chance to learn to swim, you know? And so I just think that this is like absolutely something to be praised. Agreed. Yeah. Yeah. I was like, something specific about books like this, or there's a part of this book that I'm like, it angers me in other books. When you can tell, Decta loves her. I know. I can't, I don't think, I don't know. I'm like, wake up, sister. I'm like, I can tell. I'm not even there. Like books like that. I'm like, come on. So right. I love Declan. I was like, the good man, Savannah. Oh, he was a good man. Savannah. Okay. I had, I'm a spoiler. I'm 85% on the way through. I didn't think you needed that one. Did this other guy ever come back in the picture? The tall guy at the coffee shop? No, that's a good thought. He never, that she gave her a number two. He never texted her. He never. Yeah, that was kind of left in the dust, wasn't it? Do you remember? Did it happen? No, he didn't come back. No, he doesn't. The mother in law story was interesting. When you get there, Addy, we'll have to talk about it. Oh, the end? No, the mother in law. Oh, I'm there. She's not a mother in law. I'm there. Oh, Gwen. Yeah. Oh yeah. She like pulled her aside. Yeah. And there's another conversation. They have a redemption. Okay. Yeah, redemption arc. Redemption. Yeah. I think. The friends were right. It's giving crazy mother in law behavior. Uh-huh. Totally was. But also, I'm like, just be honest with him, that your mom did just say something to me. Like, that's what I wish she would have done. Yeah. Like, your mom did just say something to me. I do hate miscommunication. Yeah, it's hard to read. Hard to read unless it's done like super, super well. Yeah. Because like, really good irony, like, you know, think about like Shakespeare. Like, when you know something that the characters don't know, like, it's so good, but sometimes when it's just like, oh, this is such a sm- It's so easy. Yeah. Like, you're like, ah, years. Uh-huh. Years lost. Dang it. It's so true. But yeah, no, it was really sweet. Okay. We're going to do voicemails. We're running out of time. We're going to do one voicemail. Okay, we'll do one. One voicemail. This is an interesting one. Ask, ask, ask, Abby. Hi. I just had my first kid. He is four months old and perfect. And I was wondering how you guys navigate the conversation of how many kids is right for your family. I feel like I want to have just him and also eight kids who do not the same time. And yes, I should be grateful. That sounds like four months. That does sound like four months. He'll be fine. Just give yourself like a year. Yeah, be good. Uh, I love how he said I just had my first kid. Yeah. I just like, I feel like people are like, he's kind of a perfect baby. Yeah, yeah. And I believe he is perfect. He is so perfect. Seriously. Congratulations. How, what would you say? Um, you know what? I feel like we've kind of started with a number in our head. Yeah, we're going to work towards that. It's kind of like a thing where it's like, Hey, we have an angle in sight. And no matter how hard it gets in between, we've just committed to that. And if we can't get there, we'll be, you know, we'll, we'll take that when it comes. But in our head, we're just going to keep saying our number over and over and over again until we get there. You know what I mean? Yeah. And there, there does feel like there's like a rushing period that happens at like four or six months or like for me, at least where I was like, I need to make another one right now. Like, it's like, no, I felt like I just was like, because I think it was because it was all I could think about. So I was like, I want my brain back. Like I need to get to this numbers because I'm like, I was like, all I could think about was like being a mom and two babies. And like, I couldn't. So I will say being a parent to a four month old, as you know, you already know this, but like, I just am going to reiterate is so different from being a parent to a two year old, which is different from being different from like a parent of a three year old. I think if you just give it some time and like let the dust settle, it'll become clear in conversation with your husband, like what feels right for your family. And I feel like I'm really grateful for this perspective. I can see a difference. I already can like now see into the future more like how it's going to change more. Like your capacity will shift. That's another thing too. I fully believe like your capacity grows and you will amaze yourself. Yep. Like I feel like my capacity with two kids is already I'm like, I have some wiggle room, so we're going to definitely be able to get this third. Yeah. Like I feel like it just keeps spreading a little bit, which I'm so grateful for because at the beginning I couldn't even fathom taking care of my one baby. Right. And it will just, it just, it just, you spread yourself and you grow and you figure it out, figure it out. And so. Okay. I would agree. Give yourself time. Give yourself time. You'll figure it out. And I feel like even with Vivian, I'm like, I feel satisfied, but I don't feel complete. And I feel like they'll become a time where I stopped feeling satisfied, you know, and it's like, okay, I'm ready for another one. So, I don't know, you'll handle those conversations as they come and go. Hey, Abby and Abby and Abby, this is Anna. I know you gals are prevalent on the internet and have your social media licenses. Love it. And I'm wondering if you try to limit your screen time otherwise. What's your relationship to like scrolling and consuming media? Do you give yourself like a time limit? What's that look like for you? Cause sometimes I just be on the phone all day. Yeah. Anyways, love to you all. Really enjoy listening. Love laughing with you and keep up the go. Aloha. Sweet. That's good. It's a good question. I feel like I've kind of been playing around with this. I feel like I don't scroll during the day. I really try not to. I'm not perfect. Obviously some days I do, but I'm like, okay, I'm okay. Scrolling on the toilet. I scroll on the toilet and I scroll before bed. And those are kind of my times. The other times I try not to. When CJ and Vivian are awake, I try not to scroll. Yeah. I think my relationship with like screen time and like limits for myself comes more from motherhood than from being like posting online myself. Because it does just like, just like you, just like anybody listening, like it hurts your productivity. Yeah. And it also for me, like it would hurt my mental health. Like at times where I'm like, I feel like I'm doing all these things, but I'm really just wasted a bunch of time. And that would get down on myself as like a bad cycle. I'm not perfect at it, but I have my, I don't have TikTok or other social media is on my phone, but I have, I have YouTube. I have YouTube and Instagram. I have it on for 30 minutes for Instagram, because that's the one that I'm more likely to like scroll a bunch. Yeah. But usually I end up having to extend that some point. And cause even just to get like necessary work tasks, it'll take more than 30 minutes. Right. But I think if I didn't have work online, 30 minutes would be great for like scrolling and getting whatever you want. But yeah, it's just also maybe, yeah, it's just personal thing, but it is something like as a mom, I felt more like, okay, I need to be a better steward of my time. And I know it's so easy to bring it out when you're around the kids. It's hard to contain it. So it's like, I can tell you in my time, you can tell you to like a setting. And I think both of those can work. Yep. Totally. It's good. I, it's good that you're thinking about that. Yeah. It's different. I'm like, if I'm not reading my book, like a book, then I know I'm scrolling more often, like I'll scroll before bed rather than reading my book before bed. And so I've retained it to, I'm like, Oh, I'm reading, I'm reading my book. So I'm not scrolling as much. We never scroll before bed. I do because Caleb's goes to bed so early. So I'm just like, ugh, what am I gonna do with my time? I could sleep. Like, and I will watch a show because we go to bed at different times because I go to bed way before him. We'll watch a show every night. You go to bed by yourself. Yeah. Same. I watch, we watch a show. The show ends. I go to bed. I read my book. Matt would love that. Blake just scrolls on his phone until he's tired and then goes to bed. I get so sad. It is a little, I mean, I got over it quickly, but I didn't want to go to bed early. So, you know, it's my cross to bear. It's hard for me. Sometimes Matt will lay down with me until I fall asleep sometimes and then he'll leave, but then the whole time I'm like, he's going to leave. Caleb doesn't care. Just like I go to bed. He didn't lie. I'm just like, see you in the morning. Yeah. Oh, that was good. Okay. Quickly we'll wrap up with always hungry. I have the best recipe. What is it? It is blueberry lemon sweet rolls from ambitious kitchen. I made these like five. Have I ever made these for you? No, but I've seen you make them. Okay. Oh, I have to make them for like Sunday. They're double rise though, huh? They are. So they take a little bit of time. I know it's something that you have to do the night before and then finish in the morning if you want them for like the day, but they are a lemony dough and then a homemade blueberry jam filling inside and then a lemon lemon cream cheese frosting. Yum. And they are decadent. I want that. They're very good. They're fluffy. They're light. They're sweet. They're springy. Add it to your list. I am going to do breakfast burritos. This was not a recipe I created. It was from a bodybuilder on TikTok. Hey, oh baby, get your gains. That my brother in law sent me. And Josh, give him credit. Yeah. Oh, good job. Good fine, Josh. Josh made them and I was like, I need that recipe. When he made those for Christmas, I ate one every day. I will say they are labor intensive, especially if you get the raw tortillas, which I really recommend because it really, the tortilla makes a break, some burrito. They're labor intensive, but you will be thankful because you batch create a bunch of them and just throw them in the freezer and then you microwave them in the morning. And whenever I was stocked on those, it was so great. I really wish I would have the energy to redo that. Um, for those of you that leave a review or subscribe, like, rate, we're very thankful for you. And, um, we want to shout out Lainey Liberty. That's really smart. Let's see what you did there. Roll with the homie. She gave always here five stars. It says this podcast is such a needed sense of community for every face and transition of womanhood. If you're looking for a dose of girl talk, sympathy, giggles and inspo to end your week. This is the place. Honestly, my only complaint is that the show is too new to binge old episodes yet. Thanks for being always here. Oh, that's a sweet, really good review. Thank you so much. Nice. So thoughtful. Seriously. If you guys want to call in and leave a voicemail or a question and be a part of the show, you guys can call 602-456-9690. We love the voicemails. Thank you guys for participating and being a part of the always here community. Yeah. And for those that submitted into like, we basically have started doing this weekly. Yeah, we have a question box. It's so fun. It is so fun. It helps us kind of get into the groove. I feel like it like loosens me up a little bit. Yeah, I get to the king. Yeah, some of them stay. Right. Guys, go check out our Patreon. Join us over there. It's going to be a whole always here party. And I think that's it. Yeah. Until next time. Remember, we're always here. This is a Monday.com ad. The same Monday.com designed for every team. The same Monday.com with built in AI, scaling your work from day one. The same Monday.com with an easy and intuitive setup. Go to Monday.com and try it for free. This is a Monday.com ad. 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