Dana Carvey + Jay Mohr (Carolla Classics)

Welcome to Coral Classics, I'm your whole super fan Giovanni. This is the podcast we play the best moments, highlights, and fans like the clips from all 17 years of the Adam Corolla show. We have a companion podcast titled Coral Classics, available exclusively through Podcast 1.plus. You can find the ad-free archives, and if you'd like to find the ad-free archives of the Adam Corolla show, the Adam and Dr. Drew show, or get access to the brand new podcast, beat it out, make sure to check out Adam Corolla's sub-stack, AdamCrolla.substack.com. And if you'd like to request a clip, please email us at classicsandAdamCrolla.com. Let's get to the clips. Come up first, we have Adam Corolla show 1957, featuring Dana Carvey, Brian Bishop, and Gina Brad from 2016. What? I know, it's a... It's such a good problem to have. More reflection of the website. Yeah, I think so. I got up this morning. I'm sure it is, don't laugh that hard. I got a beef with the ways, ways beef, man. Ways beef. I said to the porcelain punisher, oh, good day, Gina Grant. Good day to you. Ann Balbryan. Namur Gramadoff. He said to the porcelain punisher, last week, I said, we're going to press tour together for a serious, serious exam, blah, blah, blah. I said, where is it? And he said, I don't know, I'll check. And then I went like, please, please, please don't let it be out on Wilshire and Fairfax or over there a million miles away. It got to be there at 8.15 in the morning. And it was like, oh, miracle mile right there. Kind of where Kailasex used to be. A little further. Is it in the Variety building and then my building? No, it's not in that building. It's along Wilshire, what they call it, miracle mile. I kind of across the street from the tar pits are actually down a little bit by the Peterson Automotive Museum anyway. I said, do the thing with ways where you check in advance from my house to this place. And I did it last week and he said, hour 15 minutes. I said, ooh, that's not that far. The distance isn't that far. And I said, God, that sounds long. And then he said, I said, check again yesterday. And he checked again and it was down to like 1.13. So either way, I was supposed to be there at 8.15. So I left my house at 7.10 just because I never went get anywhere too early. And I got there 10 minutes before 8. I've never been so early in my life and I'm pissed at ways because I knew it. I said two times like 1.15. That's too long. That's too long. That's too long. And it got there about 55 minutes. But as I've realized what ways sends you on, and I'm going to try to be clear with my wording. Los Angeles is just coming undone and ways sends you through every part that's coming undone faster than the next. It's always get off the five freeway, turn down Academy Boulevard, go down Silver Lake Highway, go over the road. Make this impossible left turn where there's no light or stop sign. Yeah, but you don't, there's a kind of a kind of weird thing. When the world wakes up and it's noon, there's civilians walking around. When you're driving around at 7.15 in the morning, it's just homeless people that you see out there with the one intrepid jogger chick who's like literally wearing. One chick just like sports bra and the cycling shorts just chugging right down through Silver Lake. And I'm like, wow, sweetie, why don't you just put some hamburger meat on your back. Put the lines, Dan. Yeah, I mean, I'm in my car and I'm frightened and I see nothing but crazy homeless people. But I realize if you live in Los Angeles and if you stay on the freeways, you can stay away from the crazy homeless problem. Correct. And then you do that thing, especially if you grow up here, you go, well, there's tent city downtown, but we're not near that. Well, no, it's spread out. It's everywhere now. So when you get off the freeway, when Waze tells you get off the freeway and take all these side streets, you're driving through neighborhoods, see homeless people all over the place. They have their own suburbs. I now realize what Waze sends you on is a scavenger's hunt in terms of it's not, I'm not the one who's looking. I just pass scavengers. I've passed people that comb through. They scavenge. Yes. The hunt for scavengers. I drive through scavengers who are scavenging through the dumpster of life. That's right. They're just no dumpsters of life. Yeah, they are. They're just they're they're pushing shopping carts with stuff piled high on it. They're like dragging dog sleds filled with junk and stuff like that. They are scavengers and I'm driving through them and around them to get from my house to the Miracle Mile. Is that a thing that's unique to LA? Do you think or it's got to be in other huge municipalities where people with there are gigantic shopping carts full of cans and bottles being pushed by scavengers? I mean, that's like they're that's like their supplemental income or possibly the primary income. I just thought of like it's so ubiquitous here. I'm like, does that happen everywhere? I don't know. But it's not happening in a lot of places. It is. It is. It's gone. We're going full third world when you again, just live where I live, go to Miracle Mile and go ways it all the way during traffic. You will be driving. I drove through a Somali tent city camp that was like I literally left our own borders. I want to I transport. You're in the water. I went into international waters. Yes. The check your passport. I drove through that thing where I had to stay at the beginning of Scarface when they took all the refugees from Cuba by the freeway. I drove through that. Yeah. To get to the Miracle Mile. Yeah. It is getting sad out here. I don't know. You know, they do this thing where they go, well, you can you can judge a society by how it treats its prisoners, you know, and that's fine. But there's a I have a message for America. Say there's another easier way to judge your city. How about you drive your your ass through it on occasion and see everyone just splayed out everywhere and go, huh? Is this in terms of our on the brochure to the Olympic Committee? Is this something we like highlighted? The Travel Committee's website or the Tourism Committee's website. Jesus Christ. We're vying for the Olympics and we are doing the homeless Olympics on the way to Miracle Mile. Well, and that was the big thing with Giuliani, right? Back in the day, he quote unquote cleaned up Times Square and people said, well, where did the homeless people go? And they said, I don't know, but it sure is clean around here. So I remember. So I agree. There was all of this. You guys forget when Times Square wasn't, you know, owned by Disney. Yeah. And I'm not. You know, I kind of I see both sides, but I'm not one of these sort of insane anarchists, which is like, hey, Times Square has got to be Times Square. Peep shows and junkies and humans defecating on the sidewalk and scared. You know, I got it. It's like, yeah, we do this thing where it's like every time the man gets involved, something bad is going to happen. Like you used to not be able to walk through Central Park at night. And now you can. Because the mayor went, hey, we need more cops. We need more stopping and frisking. And we need to we need to up our game a little bit or whatever the broken window thing was, you know, and we're going to go ahead and up that. And it's like a lot of people cry like stuck pigs. But isn't the upside that we can use Central Park now? I mean, and some ways out all hours of the night. Yeah, there is. There's no such thing as saying we're going to step up our police presence. We're going to really start letting the bad guys know it's a bad idea to hang around Central Park at 10 o'clock at night and rape a jogger without the non gangbanger or bad guy getting stopped on occasion and ask for ID. That that comes with the territory. We're like, no, we don't want that. It's like, yeah, but you do want this. Yeah, we want this. Yeah, well, you can't get there from there unless you travel through reality land. And reality land is, hey, teenager with the baggy pants, come over here and show me some ID for no good reason, because we're trying to get out of fantasy land into reality world where people aren't raped when they jog. Matt final year was just telling me about reality land, Disneyland. It was there this day. He was not loved. It's not a great time. Mom, not so much, but he was dead. I took a commemorative photo. Oh, God. And we made a credit card application when you walk in. Believe me, when they when they did, there's a famous, a Gary David. Oh, my God. All right, you guys are going to have to sort me out. Joe Hanson, the hot, hot, hot guy. Yep. Also did a lot of acting. Buster Plain Dexter. Yeah, that was his name. Yeah, that was his persona, but as David Johansson is his name. Is it David Johansson? Pretty sure. You mean the tall comedian? The taxi driver in Scrooge. I told you too many names. Yeah. He's a real character. You'll recognize him. He sings. Yeah, this is hot, hot, hot. He was in the New York Dolls. Yeah. This is all the same guy. All the same guy. He came out with an album. More search and for Gary. Probably, let's say 98. And maybe even before that would have been. It was this as Buster. Yeah, I think so. Then that would have probably been Buster Spanish rocket ship. Probably. Was that 98? That's 97. 97. OK. On the other side, there's a David Johansson album in 2000. I'm going to go with 97. And now. Wow. He plays. Yeah, he's Keith Richards. By me. There's a song on that album about Times Square. Sort of all the fun stuff going away in Times Square. Downtown Dream, possibly. Well, you could listen to it. They'll mention Times Square and all that. And it's a fun song and it's a good song. But I like a usable Times Square. I would like to be able to walk through it and not avoid it. And unfortunately, it means the man has to do his job in order to get from where we were. And Jimmy and I used to go down there in the, you know, mid later 90s. Mid 90s, early mid 90s. And it was a dicey place to do business. And now it's a real good place to do business. So. Cops showing up and kind of straightening things out. Not. It's not always the man posing as his will all the time. I wouldn't have been able to move there. A young 22 year old Gina to move to New York, if that was still the case. I wouldn't have wanted to have been scared. It was a dicey place. And L.A. is kind of turning into that times in a much more sort of age quilt sort of way, just spread out and suffocating everybody. But I think with the amount of taxes we pay in the city, it'd be nice if somebody could at least address this or start focusing on it without a, hey, you got to give us more money so we can fix this thing. It's like we're already getting taxed pretty, pretty good. I think there's other things you could do. We could turn lemons into lemonade. I mean, the Olympic Committee, the L.A. Olympic Committee, we could like pitch it as maybe part of the games, you know what I mean? Like hurdles over the homeless. I've always said, I'm waiting to listen. I'm way ahead of the curve on this because I said we'd get our ass kicked every year in the bobsled department, like the four man bobsled, right? Two man, four man. Always, always getting their ass. I feel like the three man bobsled is right up there with the guy who invented the number two pencil, just a different, just the number three. Sorry, number three pencil. Oh, no, three is the one used. Somebody used to. All right, somebody that's kind of stewing away. I said, you know, every year we would always try to get, we try to get Herschel Walker on the team one year because the whole thing is about the push. The technology we're good at. Right. We got, we got a state of the art sled. It's all about the first 40 feet where you just push, push, push, push. And like I said, for the guy in the front, he steers for the guy in the back. He breaks and the two guys in the middle push as hard as they can for 40 feet and then attempt to blow themselves for the next mile and a quarter. Cause all you do is shove your head between your legs and see, you're just human ballast. But I said, we got, you see those and we lose every year. Cause we even try to take, taking like track stars and putting them back there. The guys with huge quads. I've seen homeless guys pull in a wagon train of three or four shopping carts up Laurel Canyon. Like we do, we do training, but we have, we have a season and then they come back and then these guys never stopped training. Imagine if you were always in camp because you didn't have a camp or lived in a camp. There's a wall of season for these guys. No, you're done with the fight. Let's go back down from the cabin over there that Rocky was training in. They live it. Weekends and Sundays and holidays and every day is just up over Laurel Canyon, dragging a wagon train of these put some of those guys behind a bobsled. First off, imagine if we fed them. Wow. What a competitive advantage. We feed them, we put them behind the bobsled and they're like, well, this is nothing. We used to drag and something with a bad wheel. Yeah. Take the layers of burl up. Have to bring any bottles. Any. No, just put, just put on the, oh, this is easy. We kick ass. Yeah. Be great. Just like, sounds too good to be true. Guys going down the Luge, hitting off a 40, smoking half a cigar. That's like you say in bulk, like, like taunting to the camera, you know, like, like, like, uh, doing the whole thing. Yeah. Celebrating mid race. Well, it's like they have the sign at the gym. If you're not training someone else is they take that very seriously. All right. Do we have the song? Yeah. It's got a very long instrumental lead up. You want me to fade in 10 seconds before they start? How long is it overall? I mean, I like the song a lot. It's a fun song. 415. Okay. Well, we can get past that. I'll tell you about this before we bring that on. Draft Kings. No better combo than Turkey and football, unless your fantasy season isn't going as planned. Well, you don't need to worry about that. You got draft Kings. The destination for one week fantasy football, no season long commitments. 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The ladies of the evening are going away. Business built of fortress in the heart of Times Square. The most wholesome people will soon be there. They don't smoke. They don't drink. The turn this town into a mall. And I don't know what to think. Turn this town into a mall. And I don't know what to think. They don't smoke. They don't drink. The turn this town into a mall. And I don't know what to think. That's the song. I'll let me hear a little more. Hubbard happy circus on 42nd Street. The most fabulous freaks you ever want to meet. To us that in Poryum was built on hollow ground. City fathers shutting down. They don't smoke. They don't drink. The turn this town into a mall. And I don't know what to think. They don't smoke. Well, there you go. 1997. Ironically, I could hear that. At the Disney Parade. I'd like to hear that. All right, let's see. Andrew and Brian are out there for the Thanksgiving edition. I will tell you. Let me tell you today. Sharp contrast to Thanksgiving. Where I get to spend time with my family. Today is the best day of the year for this American citizen. Oh, tell us more. Ah. Each time I do one of these car racing documentaries, at some point we go to Leno's shop. Leno has the Tonight Show set up there with a big old movie theater screen in the middle of it and some risers. And we bring over a fresh cut of the movie. And always bring a couple of cold ones because Leno's a tea toller. And then we sit down with his crew and my crew and we watch our latest offering. Nice. That sounds fun. With guys who appreciate it. With car guys who appreciate it. It's a cute little couple sitting right next to Jay. And we sit there and he just sits there. He uses a denim sort of, he'll wear like a denim poncho with a denim. I don't know what they call those blankets that turn into a onesie or whatever. Snuggy? He has a denim snuggy. Yeah, sure. He'll pull up that. He'll pull up a bucket of denim popcorn. And we will watch his movie. But in terms of like these simple things to enjoy in life, I always have this date where we're going to go out to Leno's shop and watch it with the guys who did the movie and then the crew over at his shop. And it's always dangling out there as I will look forward to this moment. When you're in the middle of doing it and everything's a hassle and travel and all that. And I think a real kick for Nate Adams and company. Because in a general way, not a specific way, but in general way you're making it for those guys. Those types of guys, those guys who are into that thing and appreciate the history and they probably know a little about the story. Oh, absolutely. Yeah, that's good. Alright, we'll bring the guys in one second. I'm just going to power through here. Oh, no, I'm starting at the bottom. Mike? Yeah, how you doing? 52, Kentucky. Yep. I saw your show at Bogarts. It was really, really entertaining. When was that show? That's a question. Is that when we went to Chicago? Yeah, it was when we met up with you the next night. You had Lynch in August and since he. Oh, yeah, I was at Bogarts. Right. Heard it was okay, but he was missing something. Yeah, you enjoyed it? Oh, yeah. I kind of wanted to add a layer to that compliment. The last time I went to see a comedian at Bogarts was 30 years previously and it was Sam Kinnison. Wow. It took me to get you paroled? Where were you for that 30 years? Oh, I actually just didn't find anybody comedians around here that funny. Wow. I just didn't bother to go out. Nobody actually got me to pry the money out of my wallet. I am so glad I didn't know that going in. Because if I knew that there was one guy out there that had had a 30-year blown the dust off his dust. hiatus on showing up at Bogarts and he was a comedian. And that if I screw this up he's not going to come back to another comedy show probably in his lifetime. Yeah. I would have been overcome with pressure. A lot of pressure. And the same Kinnison was the last guy he saw at Bogarts. The ghost of Kinnison behind you. Oh! All right, but you had a good time. I had a great time. Oh, good. The next time you're out here I'm going to be here for a few minutes from the airport. And I make a lot of Hungarian food. So if I'm out here at Bogarts or anywhere nearby I can make you guys a big Hungarian feast. Wow. Thank you. You got a basement. Because this is getting better every second now. Does this smell like chlorophyll? It's so lonely using paprika. What else do you need to know? Real Hungarian paprika too. I know how to make deviled eggs. And for August I know how to make cheesecake. I know how to make deviled eggs in Reno. Oh yeah? Take that. I must tell you, Lynette has made egg salad three and a half times in the 15 years of knowner. But one of those times was Saturday before I left for Reno. And I literally did this move. You guys know this move. You have to know this move. There's that move where there's the egg salad or the chicken salad and there's a little bit of a difference in the bowl and it's in the fridge and it's got the soul fane pulled over the top. And you pull it out and you size it up. You go, there's a little too much here but if I transfer half or three quarters or seven eighths of it onto a plate then there's going to be just a couple of bites and I'm going to cover it up and put it back but it's not going to be really anything and then you do that thing that makes all Americans great where you go, effort, If there's a ton there, then you pull out a serving for yourself. If there's a little there, you go kill it. This is a little more than you need, but you go, it's not worth whacking it. You did the right thing because someone else would pull it out and be disappointed. Right. So I ate about six eggs sitting and eating on Saturday before we left for the airport. And as soon as we had to re-note, people just start literally presenting hard boiled eggs to me one after the other. And I did a blotcher. It's like, go ahead, Luke. By eating them. Yes. I'm speaking of a cool hand. Oh, let's see. Come on. Damn. I'm scared to go to a while. All right. Michael, update football picks. 65% since we first started talking, 60% this past weekend. When we spoke last week, we said, hey, you've held up your end of the bargain. Let's have you out. And Brian, let's maybe get one more week. So there it is. 60% again, 65% over the entire period. By the way. A horrible Asian student. Hey, mom, what's up? 60% algebra. Yeah. 60% biology. 60% history. So I guess you were killing yourself. I believe I'm out of an apology. Yeah, you'd make a horrible Jew and or Asian student. This one's on us, Michael. We forgot to assign you specific games. So you must have just picked a few random ones that you probably felt confident in. That's really on us. I'm sorry. 60%. Actually, what you did is you've always said, do the final five games of the week of play. No, I do do. Oh, that's what. But hold on. You started it, you know, hold on. You started it 60 something percent. Then you went to like 80 something percent. Then you went to 65% and now you're at 60%. I went, I went three for five, then five for five, then two for five, then three for five. I think hover water. Last week I was 67% and he said, yeah, but ending on a frowny face and she said, but on the other hand, you tell the period of the bargain and Brian said, well, why don't you have him do one more week? Well, Brian kind of, he rules the roost over here. Yeah, maybe you didn't get that memo. Behind the scenes. So I do, brother, as an iron fist, but a velvet glove. I can check with Brian to see if it's thumbs up or thumbs down off the air. Of course, that'll, he'll make the final decision. And then thus, when you come into the, the premises, swing and machete, the first place you ought to sort of focus your eyes. Big bald head. It says Adam Carolla out front, but it's Brian. It's really pulling all the strength out here. Puppet master. Understand that Mike. Everyone we listen to, everyone we listen to is barely able to make 60% just choosing a winner or a loser. I got to check my math, but the last time I checked my math, 60% was a little bit over 50%, which I feel that's a chimster. I mean, darts at a, at a, at a schedule can get 50, right? Don't forget about the big. That's going to take you down. Oh, the big. Yeah. You got to pay the big, but I'm not 50%. I'm 65%. Oh, yeah. Oh, I don't know. We'll discuss Gary. Remind me to discuss for you, discuss out of the Brian. I'll put that high on the list. I was kind of, I was hoping for a string of four out of fives. Yeah. We all were. I think we all were. We're a little bit low now. All right. Why don't we bring in Brian, other Brian and, um, I was going to say Brian with the bad attitude, but, but then Brian with the Y and then I don't even know where to start now. I'm lost. I was bringing Andrew and Brian over there. Hold on. I was going to talk to line three. Who's on there? Oh, did he hang up on him? That's fine. I guess that's good. You guys, he's still there. I just took the note down. Pull in one second. Yeah. All right. Hey, caller. Yes. Kevin. What's your name? Kevin. Oh, Kevin. There you go. Go ahead. What's going on? All right. Thanks for taking my call. I'm just curious if funny is showing any signs of maturity that would lead you to believe he is ready to stop playing with his stuffies or if not, at what point do you tell him that it's time to tell the stuffies to hit the brakes? It's just the least of my time. I think what I'll do somewhere around somewhere between his junior year in college and divorce. First divorce. Stuff he caused. Yeah, I think that's clear. Well, it has to come first. Yeah, that's a good point. Divorce. When I'm junior year in college and or divorce, I will get into his apartment and I will, I'm assuming he's a renter. It's a Corolla. And I'll take them all away and I'll explain that a very elderly Philly cheesesteak got loose and just went nuts. And the reason I cleaned it up is because I didn't want you to see the carnage. What happened? See, I thought you were going to go the other way and stage a horrific crime scene involving the stuffies. Ripped apart, limbed a limb. Yeah, I don't want to print your matter. I don't. Yeah, I don't. Yeah, I don't want him to have PTSD. Yeah, and Malibu Marty. Andrew. Hey, how's it going? Ryan. What's up? Andrew, it's true. I call your name when I go to the other warehouse just to hear you respond. Right. Yeah. I don't need anything from the boy. What is the response? He, he sent. Here's it. If only he was here to recreate it. Yeah. Oh, okay. Sorry. I don't know because it's not going to sound like much, but Andrew. Yeah. Okay. Now listen. I can see why you long for that. No, listen to me. You know, I've said, you know, if you're gay, you'll sound gay eventually. And if you're angry, you're going to sound angry. And if you're racist, you sound racist. Like you sound like, you kind of sound like what you're thinking. Right. Cheer up and be excited. Yeah. You just sound like what you're, what you're thinking most of the time. And the response is a pretty pure way to kind of see what's going on in somebody's core. So when I call my son, he'll give a very pure sweet response because he's a sweet person. Right. Andrew is a sweet guy. He's very, he's very, is his temperament is very good. And so he answers, he doesn't sound like my son. They have the same tone. Yeah. Yeah. That's what a nice, it's how nice people respond when the boss man says something. All right. So you guys ready to play some ball over here? Congratulations on the movie, by the way. You guys did a wonderful job. What are we working on now? Willy T. Mostly. Yeah. Mostly Willy T. Ribs. The story cut is almost done, if not done right now. Was it a three or four hour story cut? It's four and a half hours long right now. Leave it. So, am I Andrew, am I going to be devastated that that's not on a disc for me this weekend? Or how's this, how's this going to work in the disappointment department? Because I get a lot of, you can have it on a stick. And then I go, I want it on a disc because I want to watch it on my TV. And then I get a lot of, ooh, it's going to take some time. Take some doing. Yeah. And then at some point I'll say to Andrew, how are we looking? And he'll go, well, I'll start compressing it early Wednesday. And then it should be ready to go at about four o'clock when you're ready to go on Wednesday. And then I'll come in at noon and I'll go, how we looking? And I'll go, 3% compressed boss. And I'll say, when did you start? 5 AM. And I'll go, okay, how's this going to work with my four o'clock departure here? Yeah. Then he'll say, it should be done around 2 AM. I can come back, get it and bring it over to your house. And then I'll go, don't do that. Don't do that. I don't want it. I'll be asleep. Don't do it. I'll come over on the weekend. I'll ban in my family and all my Thanksgiving. And I'll go, this is wait till Monday. Just wait till Monday. How are we on that? Was that worse, Perotta? I think it was like 80% when we came over here. 80%! Well, that was part of it, right? Yeah. That's only the last half. Okay. The first half is something like 30%. So we're 80% of 50% done? Yeah. All right. I like those numbers. Yeah. Maybe Michael should have done. Should work with you guys. You guys are not a spin thing. How are we doing, boss? 80%. Great! A 50%. All right. So I'll be able to take a disc home on tomorrow, theoretically. Yeah. There's about an 80% chance. Okay. All right. And Chassis, 2S is in a Y, doing very well. And like I said, we crash the system, but we're back up as far as we know. And everyone's loving the 24 hour war. Are these fellows going to Leno? Yeah. Well, hold on now. It ran through my brain. You guys are like cars, dude. That's a yes or no question. Yeah, I like cars. Oh. And are you like cars? Not really. You know, like people appreciate any work. You know, people appreciate any work. People appreciate what you do. I don't know. It's tough because I ran. I don't want to show up there with too big a posse. No. I got this. You guys, there could be food there. You'd hate it. Oh, good call. Yeah. You guys are probably Conan fans or something anyway, right? Yeah. Anyone invite you guys to Leno? Nate invited me. Oh. This is what I told him I'd think about it. You big timed him. All right. Well, think real hard because I invited a couple other guys too. So we'll work that out. This is the first I've heard of it. Okay. Thanks, Brian. I had a feeling. I had a feeling I was going to go in and ask you guys, but then I thought, what if the answer is no or you haven't been invited? All right. Let's play the game. Will Andrew eat it? Because he's picking his lunches, plain Cheerios, eat pizza without cheese. Because he's eating hot dogs from the middle of must have a mental disease. Because he's his taste buds are so far. He won't eat a pie because he's been through ZV is so weird like a toddler who is high. All right. Good intro first. I'll tell you about Tommy John, the company that introduced the world to wedgie free men's underpants. Oh, Andrew and Brian imagine going through high school in a wedgie free environment. Think about where you'd be now. Emotionally, spiritually, painally. It is Tommy John, everybody. If you're not wearing Tommy John, you are missing out patent and breathable Farak. It's just one of these things where you just, you will not go back to the old underpants. I've been missing this my whole life. Yes. Yes. Anything better in those like multi-packed, chub-packed boxers and everything. Super soft under shirts, never come untucked. The socks warm over on. I told us doing Bill Simmons show the other week and I was like, I guess sit there and fold across your legs and it always shows your weird hairy shin. Got out the socks foot dropped, just dropped in Tommy John. No adjusted adjustment needed. All their underwear is backed by their best pair of her wear guarantees. They got nothing to lose. Tommy John, Tommy John Dawson. Use code anime. TommyJohn.com now for 20% off your first order. That's Adam for 20% off at TommyJohn.com. TommyJohn.com. All right. So Will Andrew and Brian Eat It Thanksgiving edition. Here we go. All right. Our first food item is stuffing. Will Andrew and Brian Eat It. I love stuffing. That's out of the box stuffing. Stuffing is great. I don't know if you prefer. Stuffing is a great thing to slide over and get just a little shot of gravy on the side of it, a little smear of the cranberry and even some mashed potato and just put it all in one bite. Well, here's my thinking. It's bread based, which is very plain. So I think yes, but it's seasoned. Lots of spices. Season. It's got a number of things going on. It's toasted bread. I got it. I got it. It's as white bread as you get part in the pun in the almost in the Thanksgiving department, but still a little exotic for Andrew's palate. I say no to Andrew and Brian, I say no to because he's probably a conscientious objector. He's going to do one of the, I don't need your bread. Put in your turkey. Okay. So I think he's going to hate it for moral purposes and he's going to take a stand, a moral stand and Andrew is just not going to like it. I'm just looking at the way Andrew is looking at it and I say yes. Yes. Yes to Andrew. Brian is such a wild card. I say no. Yes, Andrew. No to Brian. I'm going to go the opposite. I think that Brian kind of hate loves it and I think it's a little too much going on for Andrew. I wouldn't need it. I wouldn't need it if you paid me to. Wow. Angry at stuffing. That's what I like. Wow. So two points available for each one of you on each item. So Adam and the lead with two. All right. So, Brian, have you guys ever tried stuffing? Once. Never again. The horrible experience. Never again. It's nothing to it. It's post-traumatic stuffing disorder. That's right. But two years ago. How can you not, Andrew, how can you not try stuffing? There are things you do eat, very few, but there are things you, everything you eat could fit onto Tom Brady's wristband with this cheap place on there. That's a two minute drill too. Without opening it by the way, just the bottom part. But you might like stuffing. It's just bread. Breadcrumbs. Just the name's not very appealing. Wait, some people call it dressing. Yeah, dressing or fixings. Fixing. It's all in the marketing for you. Yeah. Marketing. Little homoerotic for you. All right, feel it. It's in Turkey's butt. All right. All right. Take it away. Hold on. Oh no, Dylan. You got to play to raping on there, dude. Bring that out of here. Yeah, there's no way Andrew's eating that. Next thing. All right. So now we're going to try the next one. Next up. Green Bean Casserole. Oh. Will Andrew and Brian need it? Oh God. I've seen it look better, but in theory it's amazing. All I can think of is, am I paying for all this? Well, you're going to get it at the end. All right. Green Bean Casserole. I can't envision a scenario which either one of them waited this. In which case I'm saying yes to my... Well, again, the game is designed to confound. I know. You know what I mean? And it tastes so good. And I'm now having to sort of put my mind into the head of Dylan or Lynch or whoever had to go over there and pick what's left of your brains. And at some point, Brian said, oh, I love Green Bean. Or they said, what do you like? Yeah, yeah. What do you like? And he threw a crazy curveball with my mom. He used to make great Green Bean casserole. So I will go Andrew no, Brian yes. I'm doing the same thing because Andrew doesn't like cheese on pizza, right? And this is a very cheesy dish. So I say no to Andrew, yes to Brian. I think it's more cream based, right? Doesn't have to have any of it. I don't know. Doesn't need to have a lot of cheese. I think it's going to be a little too much for both of you. I'm going to say no to both. I would need it. No way. Damn it! You said all my first instincts. I should have too. I get up in my hand and I start trying to think. That was disgusting. No, but it's so specific that I felt like somebody talked to somebody and got an answer. Okay. Green beans are best raw. Yeah. You don't mess with them. Yeah. All the sorts of boys on their own are fine. Get like five or six and just take a big bite. Really? Yeah, that's it. That's how you do it. Green beans! Oh no, no, no, no, no. What else is in this? I don't even know. Green and fried onions. No. Okay. So green beans are best raw. Oh boy. Oh boy. That's no pattern. There's no pattern. No, I know. It's like a true silica. Like a madman. There's no pattern. You're going to have a baby and the toddler is going to be like, just try it. He's going to do the choo-choo turn to you. The airplane's coming up. Your dad's got scurvy again. We've got to get him. He's been eating nothing but honey nut cherries. Junior, get in there. Talk some sense into him. I'm going to get him. I'm going to get him. I'm going to get him. I'm going to get him. I'm going to get him. Junior, get in there. Talk some sense into him. Hey, pull up that huggy and man up. All right. Now let's go. What's next? Oh wait. What's the score now? Sorry. You and Gina are knotted up with Brian, one behind. All right. Our next food item. Canned cranberry sauce. Will Andrew and Brian eat it? This is the gelatinized version. Will you still see the canned divots? Yeah, the serration of the can. I don't like it because it comes out like dog food when you do that thing. It makes that, it queeps a little when it comes out of the thing. All right. It's too tart for Andrew. It's too tart for the lad. But at some point, one of these A-holes has to agree to one of these things, right? Was there any kind of pre-production on this bit? Like I don't know how this thing works. The funny part of it is they hated everything. It's certainly possible. We can reveal the behind the scenes after if you guys could be honest. Production goes into this. I don't think it should be discussed with these two, but we can talk to me about it later. Should be surprised to everyone. All right. Too tart for Andrew. But I'm just going to say because someone has to like something at some point that Brian, but why would he? It's something. You have the same relationship with food, Andrew, that my mom and dad have with life, which is like, do you think your mom or dad? And I was like, hold on, before you suggest the activity or the hobby or the team, does it fall under the heading of something? Well, yeah. Probably. Okay. Then they're out. They're out. So with Brian, it's like, in Andrew, it's like, well, we're out again. No, if it falls under the heading of food, then he's out. So I'm going to say he's out on this one. I say Brian's in because someone has to say in. I trust my first anything's now. No to both. Okay. If you guys will remember from the Halloween edition, they were both super into the Swedish fish and all that. Yeah. The sour crap that's so terrible. Fantastic. Right. Sour patch. Sour and tart that were different. Yeah. But it looks like unidentifiable mess. And that's kind of what that Halloween candy is. So I'm going to say they'll both eat it. Wow. All right. I would eat it. I've never had it and I never will. I'll take that. I'll take that. Never never. Well, never. Well, you know, my hope, I hope, hold on, Dylan, it is my desire and wish that you both get strung out on meth and commit some sort of heinous crime, you know, like where you kill a cop and then a neighbor and then like the cop son and you get the death penalty. And you're in either Texas or Florida. Okay. Andrew, you're in Texas. Brian, you're in Florida when this heinous crime goes down and you get the death penalty and over there, they'll fast track it. You know, we don't have to sit around and we're still waiting for like, what? Like the first Manson family member out here in California to get the chair. But over there, it's, you know, they fast track you. They push you to the front of the line and then they say, Andrew, um, final meal and you're like, do you have tap water? Uh, yeah. Okay. Why are you deciding you find a meal? You want the tap water? No, the tap water is good. Okay. Or not. I'm good. You have half an orange. I'll have, um, and then Brian will be like, um, I'll have one sour patch and, uh, one, uh, and, and if you could do the tap water lukewarm, that would be awesome. No, I store it. For me. So you've never, Brian has never tried cranberries. Never in a million years. Okay. But how do you know in advance, especially when somebody, Andrew, I mean, uh, sorry, yes, Andrew, you enjoy cranberry sauce. So when you find out a guy like Andrew enjoys it, is that loosen up your, your bib just a little bit? I don't know who has been sharing a wall, an office wall with me for the last two years. I don't, I no longer know him. Wow. It's a lot, there's a lot of deep seated hatred going on here. Okay. What is that? What is the score now? Gina has four and you and Brian are both tied at three. Oh boy. I'm looking through the window and this would be a real easy game to play with Chris in there. Oh yeah. Chris is eating all the stuff that's leaving. And Katelyn, are you being a favorite day of the year? You tell me when Dana shows up, by the way. We'll do. All right. Our next food item is cornbread. Oh. Cornbread. Oh, look at that. Corn makes everything better. Just does. It's like chowder's good and then corn chowder's better. Like corn, cornbread is so good. And a problem with like Vinny Torterich and whoever I've been ruined for cornbread, when I was growing up it's like, oh, that's something healthy to eat, cornbread. Corn and bread and now it's like you realize it might as well just have a piece of cake. And speaking of cake, can I give everyone one Thanksgiving tip? My mom's been doing this my entire life. You add it's two boxes of cornbread and one box of yellow cake mix. Just do that this year. Everyone will love you for it. All right. I'm going to say they both dislike cornbread. Interesting. I'm going the opposite way. I'm saying they'll both eat cornbread. It's simple, minimal ingredients, minimal sort of taste. I think it's a texture thing. I think Andrew will eat it and Brian will not. I will eat it. I won't. Damn it. Damn it. Have you said just one thing yet? No. He doesn't do Thanksgiving. I'm declaring Gina the winner unless there's something. Is there one more out there? There is one more. Let's just do one more because it could be their dessert or it could be actual turkey, which we don't. Turkey is our tiebreaker. Know about if we need it. So Brian, Thanksgiving over at your place. Just one chicken bouillon cube was placed on the table and everyone, Mama yells have at it or like rings the triangle or. Well, last year. Yeah, last year. I want to know what happened last year. I had a potato and I kind of living on a walk on the outside. I made French fries. My own secret recipe for French fries. So you show. You go home. Where do you go? I stay in LA. Who are you with? It's not me, myself. Okay. It's all coming together. I eat with Leno. I don't know if you heard. No, but I've done the out of work actor thing here too, which is like all the people from the groundlings and the Acme Theater, they're all from somewhere else and they get together. What if Thanksgiving? Yeah, go to Kathy Griffin's apartment and she'll serve it up over there back in the day or whatever it is. I used to do that, but you got. I. Well, it'd be a waste for you to go anywhere, right? Yeah. Well, I just generally don't like people in LA. Celebrations of food. So it's like celebrations, food, people, all the things. Yeah. You've come to hate. Andrew, where are you going to be at home? Yep. You're going to be with your family coming in? No, just me and my wife. So I will do the last one and then I want to know what your wife is supposed to cook. Whip up a nice Cheerio gravy. Right. I feel bad. I would like to formally invite you guys to dinner at Adam's house. We're going to my sister's house in the Pangas. I would love to go to Adam's house. Yeah, then you should go to my house. Good luck at my sisters. All right. Here we go. Mash potatoes with gravy. Mmm. Mash potatoes with gravy. Gina, you're going to have to go first. All right. Well, we know Brian likes potatoes, but I don't think that he abides by gravy. Andrew, you know what? I think that the gravy makes this a no for both of them. Oh, thank God. I'm going yes to both. I got to go yes to both, too. Savory and delicious. Finally, way back into this game statistically or mathematically. Here we go. I wouldn't eat it. I will never have gravy or mashed potatoes. You never officially invited to my Thanksgiving. Mash potatoes are disgusting. Wow. You're so right. That's what Andrew will eat. I don't mean to gloat, but did I win the Halloween edition, too? I think you. I know these guys. I don't know them, but I know them. You don't know me. Oh, boy. Oh, boy. What have I said? Andrew, all right. Get back there and finish up that Willi T. Ribbs documentary. Would you please? I want that thing burnt on a disk. Yes. All right. Just for fun. Would you like to know if they eat turkey? Oh, OK. Just say it quick. Yes or no. I love turkey. Yeah, turkey's fine. Damn it. That's the beauty of it. Wow. White meat, dark meat. That is the beauty of it. They don't discriminate. That is the beauty of those two. Oh, that's awesome. That's insane, isn't it? That's a little depressing. It's a little depressing. Going into the holidays. The thing I can't figure out about Brian, well, first off, there's a, our editor, Jacob, over there may quietly be as bad as these two guys. He doesn't want to be outed. I haven't really scratched his Lotto ticket yet, but judging from what he does for lunch over there, which is a sack of the miniature carrots that are pre-rounded over, the sort of cocktail weenie carrots, like a sack of those and like a sack of cashews. I'm starting to worry a little about Jacob over there as well. Yeah, it's alarming. How'd you find them all? Oh my God. Also, why is it not everything? Except when I was poor and I was their age, if it was free, I was in. Put it in me. Or put it in me and then pay me and then I'll go buy some food. But either way, I was in. I didn't turn my like mashed potatoes and gravy. It'd be like, I'd eat an army helmet of mashed potatoes and gravy if you handed it to me and told me to stand in the corner and eat it. I just eat the whole thing. Like there's nothing to figure out about and about Brian is he's never tried. And he never will. He adds what I love. We should do a segment one time on like our best poor eating stories, like just the links you go to when you're poor and there's food. Like I'll just give an example. My roommate for many years worked at a movie theater close by and at the end of the night when they closed down, all the popcorn would just be extra popcorn. He'd put in literally a new trash bag, a black trash bag and bring it home and we'd eat popcorn all weekend, stale popcorn all weekend. Are there state or federal laws against force feeding? I know. Those are people. Brian. I know when a prisoner like a get-mo goes on a hunger strike, they put a butt funnel in them and give them some insure. All right. All right. One of the first things. I'm skipping insures. One of my first moves like if I was ever in charge would be like, I'm sorry, everyone's going to find this controversial, but if any prisoner just decides to stop eating, we don't have to chain him to a bed and put an IV in him. Like if they just don't want to eat. Or hope she's being. That's their prerogative. I will put a BLT sandwich. Get-mo. I'll put it. I'll put a club sandwich out. I'll put a glass of milk and a club sandwich and a salad out every morning at 10 a.m. If they choose not to eat it, that'll be them, but I'm not going to wrestle their maciated body down and try to shove an IV in them. Or hope should be. They all stop eating. Which is, thank you. Which is what they do. All right. Lovely sentiment this time of year. De-na-carvey is now here. So we'll take a break. First, Ashley Madison, baby. AshleyMadison.com. Fed up with the vanilla dating sites. Board with swiping. Check out the new AshleyMadison.com. Everyone is welcome. Singles, couples. People looking for new experiences of every kind. Nearly half the members are single. That's a stat. Nearly half the members are single. For free spirited, open-minded people, man. Check it out. Ashley Madison. Students, artists, entrepreneurs, retirees, moms, dads, everybody in between. Go to AshleyMadison.com. You'll never be asked to login using your public social network accounts. Lots of features designed to keep your private life private. So check them out. AshleyMadison.com. And you can join free today. That's right. Free at AshleyMadison.com. That's AshleyMadison.com. Check it out. Join for free. Today. All right. De-na-carvey is out there. His comedy special I saw last night. Very funny. Straight white male. We will take a quick break. We'll be right back up with us. De-na-carvey. Everyone loves De-na-carvey. Straight white male, 60. Very funny. Netflix special. Available as we speak. Feel like he did at least 37 impressions. Did I? I didn't count him, but man, there's a lot of good stuff there. My new thing now is micro impressions. It's just because I'm so bored with them. It's a way to establish a conceit that the joke is almost the impression. Well, it's a reverse engineering. Here's an example. Sean Connery is asked whether he would like to vacation in Spain. Okay. Yeah. So it's just a way. Yeah, you don't have to do the whole thing was imagine if Sean Connery was one of the founding fathers and had to deliver in a debate with, no, you just go, this, it's better. It's more satisfying. And in today's super fast cut society. Christopher Walken sees a particularly good magic trick. Wow. That's it. I can teach you. We can all do these. No, I don't think we can. Don't use one syllable. Wow. The thing that's amazing about Dana, but I always say this about any good impressionist is how their face turns into the person they're doing to. We're like a shape shifter. Well, no, there's something in your eyes that look, that become the person you're doing. And it's like, I get the audible side of it. Like you can hear it in, in minor bird it back. There's a way to do it. So nice. That's so good. This is going to be fabulous. Starts off the special with Trump, by the way. I do. I do too. Okay. Okay. I mean, that's just a weird new strange toy that you have to do. I mean, and it keeps, I saw him with Obama and you just have a million. That picture was the most Shakespearean, whatever. It's crazy, right? Don't let go of my hand. Okay. I'm very in over my head. Don't let go. Also it, it's like in a weird way, giving the keys to the White House back to Trump is like we countered with a one and a half white people. Yes. Are coming back like black guys, you may have got it for eight hours. We're coming back with one, one and a half, maybe even 150 percent. I would have said, someone would have said like two years ago, what do you mean one and a half white people just wait, just wait. It makes sense. Rubio, what are you talking about? You should be so lucky. I am so white. I'm totally. Cruise. Incredibly white. No, no, don't worry. We're going so white. You had cruise. You had cruise. A billionaire who got the working class vote. I mean, that is just. It was just giant and orange and I mean, we're going, but you know what, you know what, I don't want to tell you how to do your comedy. No, I want to hear what you're. Here's what I would work on. Everyone's trying to figure out this. Here's what I would work on. When it would, I would call it Trump on prompter because when he gets on the prompter, he does the thing where he lays out a bunch of stats. He lays out a bunch of, and then he'll, he does the side thing where he'll go, he'll go, um, you know, 2000 Americans killed by legal aliens. Terrible. He'll throw. That's not on. That's not on prompter. That's a really good observation because I was doing that and he had a very weird cadence too. They will do things that we don't know when he's looking at the prompter. They'll ever do. They're very, very terrible, terrible things, terrible. He'd ad-lib in the middle, terrible. He'd go back to the prompter and he'd have that thing where he'd chalk in a very different cadence. And then he'd go down the center, very tremendous, tremendous, absolutely tremendous. So yeah, drops down. That's the terrible or the tremendous. We're all still learning it. It took me two years to learn George Bush Sr. It takes a long time to get the sub hooks. You know, there's a lot of weird sub hooks. And then everyone just starts doing your impression instead of. I'll be doing Alec Baldwin because he's the bully pulpit and he does a great hulking, bizarre take on it. Your facial thing with the impressions was perfectly, Dana's Tom Broca was very with the face. Can I do a micro Tom Broca? Tom Broca asking, where is the library in Spanish? Don't ask, the library is in Spanish. So it's like, they're just funny. They're funny, right? You have to laugh. And why, why am I setting up this premise? Like how it is not even like Tom Broca in a hot tub with Sinbad. Well, I feel like, again, I don't want to tell your business. No, I'll take your observations, put them through my filter and not credit you. I would have, I would have two micro impressions. I would have the Sean Connery. Yes. Do you want a vacation in Spain? And then I would have the flip side, which is Broca, we have to guess who it was. And obviously that's one we do. That's Tom Broca asking where the library is in Spanish. Right. You know the ones we got a guess at and then the ones that you set up in advance. Yes. I have, let's see, Michael Cain as a kindergartener. What do we have to color between the launch? They're just fun. I don't know. It's available now by the way. Straight white male, sexy, very, very fun. It's very weird shooting those things. Have you shot an hour one yet? Well, I was going to. And then Baby Doll Dix and my agent caught wind of it. And it was just, we ever. I love that movie you did by the way. I have a little ADD about to stand up on the road. Oh, road hard. You really didn't capture, I mean, for me, that was like, yes, people go, it must be so glamorous. I was like, no. Well, thanks. I got a couple other movies. I'll give you before you leave. Tell me where they're streaming. You ever have this situation, whether it's in any kind of relationship where you're telling somebody the truth or what's happening or something and the person's getting mad at you like you got caught cheating? Like it's like your phone rings and you go, oh, it's my old girlfriend, Charlene, sending me a text. And then your wife's going, what's she? What's this on your phone? I'm telling you what's happening right now. Like that's it's real time. Why haven't I done a stand up special? The guy named Barry Katz. Yes, of course. Jay Moore does a very funny Barry Katz. Yeah, he's a he's a he's a management guy, manager. And he's funny guy. And he just came up to me at some charity event and he was like, why haven't you done a stand up special? And I said, I don't know. I just do everything else. And he said, do you want to do a stand up? You've ever been to China? Yeah, that's Jay Moore. And I said, yeah, Barry, I wouldn't. Yeah, I wouldn't mind doing a stand up special. I'd be as that's something you do. Yeah, I know people. I said, okay, well, I think I could do. I'm doing a lot of stand up right now. And I said, all right. And then I called my agent James, baby, Dill Dixon. I said, hey, talk to Barry Katz. He wants to, what's that guy talking to you about? No, specials for I said, they got competitive. Well, I think there's a little terror, a little territorial. Thank you. I was like, well, I don't know. I think he wants to do a special. Well, what's he talking to you about doing specials? I said, I don't know. I just want to tell that son of a bitch. Baby doll called me like, like three days later and he said, don't worry. I got that whole thing to go away. I straight about good. I would go with baby. We're not getting paid. I want representation. It's a straight white male named baby doll. Baby doll Dixon. I don't know about specials anyway. I mean, really 10 minutes of stand up. When we were kids, we'd see Richard Pryor and Ed Sullivan or I don't know about the whole hour thing anyway. I watch him in piecemeal for friends. I'll watch 15, come back later, month later. It's just hard to sit and watch anybody for an hour with a mic, except for my special. But you know what I mean? Well, for you, it's like a, speaking of like Bob Hope's like a cavalcade of stars. What is a variety show? I'm not a traditional stand up coming from one point of view with and doing that. It's like a variety show. It's like little sketches. Yeah. Yeah. At some point we have Paul talking to John Lennon in heaven about Michael Jackson and other things. It's doing all the parts and it's kind of a fun thing. Yeah. You know, what's he like? You know, it's about Kanye West making an album with McCartney and Lennon has a conversation. Well, what does he have a woman that inspires him? Well, he's got a lovely guy named Kim Kardashian. What does she do? That's the job. Well, she takes pictures of a bottom. That's her job to take pictures of a bottom with a Polaroid camera. No, with a baby television in the future. Everybody's got a baby television. She takes pictures of a bottom, you know, and you know, they all do it. The whole family's taken pictures. One gentleman got so frustrated he became a woman. So that's part of the special. But yeah, I could do that all day. Because I want to have John Lennon and Paul McCartney be friends now. Yeah, I want them because I you know, you listen to Revolver and you see that where they were harmonizing and writing together and you go, well, they loved each other. And so when I do the conversation, it's cathartic for me personally. You know, yeah, I'm trying to I'm trying to think if there's something about that level of talent and the way they both yen and yang kind of complete. At each other sonically that you could never get along with that person that was. Oh, there would be so close to you or fit or completed you or something like I don't. Well, if you write a song like if I fell and then you've got your bandmate come in, you put these headphones on and you're going to sing to Bart harmony. And so it's Paul McCartney is going to sing it with you and it's like doing both at the same time hearing it and going, holy. So right, I think that that happens and if the if John had lived, they would have figured that out later. Oh, they're definitely it's they were too young. It was too soon. There was a great moment in history that was almost a great moment, which were they almost went on SNL. Remember that was they were in New York together watching the show and didn't learn. Michael's offer them a check. A dollar or something. It was it was it was a few come down here. Thirty Rock will give you $45 and all the things. I know Adam it's Lauren would like another incredible real life character. It's been an incredible characters. So you're in the freshman class with Neal and who I love and Phil Hartman. Yeah. And Hartman, that's a guy miss. It's funny. Somebody somebody brought up Sam Kenneson earlier in the show and I've never big Sam Kenneson fan and I figured he would have a big fan. And I figured he would OD'd at some point or something, but the like, I'm married. I'm in hell. I'm in hell. Look, I and all the rock and roll and hey, Polly Shore thinks you're super funny. I've never really got on board with that. Was he a friend? And I don't really I feel like if he were here now, he'd be dead. So well, what happened is when you're a heart man, I miss. I will see indie films and see a character and go, wow, Phil would have played that great. Right. Yes. Because Phil, Phil was everless. What was so freaky about Phil is he cared about his guitar, his, his boat, his airplane. And then he would, oh, yeah, I'll go do that. I mean, you'd be on the eight H Saturday Night Live and you know, you'd have your binder or he'd have his binder meticulous. But I would, I, mine was crumpled up. I'd look, he'd be reading about Evan Roode motors, schematics of horse power and just, and then, oh yeah. And then go do this Arab prince and some sketch. So yeah, he was a freak that way. Well, and designing album covers, right? He was a complete artist. Yeah. A complete Renaissance personality and that's, yeah, I agree. So where, let's, I want to talk some Dana Carvey here. I want to know where you came up, what your influences were. I was yelling at somebody the other day when they were talking. I've explained that there's nobody less funny on the planet than my mom. I don't think it would you agree with that, Brian? That I've met for sure. Have you met anyone less funny than my mom? But now I want to meet your mom because that's funny. Well, I'm sure she's a big fan and tells you finds out I'm a big fan of yours and we know each other and then, in which case, she won't be a big fan. How would I know that? Great, John. God, I love that John Stewart story. I love when I, I love, we're talking about on brand. We're talking about on the road like on brand, like one that just encapsulates my entire family. T.M. Crisparole. Yes, my mom, sorry listeners, but I'll tell Dana. How many kids? How many kids? I have a sister. She's a year older. She's doing well. My mom is just one of these people that has no sense of, it's just, she's not funny and, and it's sort of, but not mean or even angry. Right. Just sort of not funny, just from a, from a fiber of her soul, but also with a nice dusting of, you know, crushed child inside, mixed with lashing out at the door. Lashing out at the world and just low self-esteem. Like I like her. I, I relate to what you're saying. She walked through my front door once in one time. We never discuss comedy or what's funny or anything. It's a complete, another bust. I mean, Brian, please stop me if I'm overstating my mother and just have dour and unfunny. I'll jump in at some point. Okay. Zero. She walked in through my front door about 10 years ago. She was holding a VHS tape that she tapes Oprah with over and over and over again. And she said to me, it's all very Corolla asked. She said, have you heard of this, John Stuart? We're on the same network. That's what comedians love. I do love that. You gotta love this guy. I mean, the only thing better is calling your standup stress. It's funny. It'll skit. That's a skit. I always say class clown is singular because if there were class clowns, one class clown would kill the other class. We need you people. Yeah, like fish. So she comes in and she goes, have you heard of John Stuart? Now we have the same agent, James Babydoll Dixon, and we're on the same network, which is Comedy Central. And I do comedy for a living. So at this point, there's probably a good chance I know who John Stuart is. Have you heard of this guy? She said, and I said, yes. And I don't get sucked into extra conversation because I know that can lead nowhere, but trouble. So I just went, yes, I know John Stuart. And she said, oh my God, he is funny. I was watching Oprah. He was on Oprah. It's not my sort of thing, but I couldn't believe how funny he is. And I brought the tape so that we could watch it together. Now this is a very bizarre overture for my mom. Which, yeah, I mean, brand muffins are stretched, but bringing a John Stuart comedy tape in is an intense ball of us sitting next to each other in a room. That's not passive aggressive. It's completely innocent. Yes. And she says, oh God, I think he's so clever. He's just so clever. And he's going on and on and on. And I'm just biting my lip. And I don't think my wife, Lynette, can take it anymore. And she just chimes in and she goes, I don't know if you know this, but Adam is not only friends with John Stuart, but they have the same agent. So Adam knows John Stuart and his friends are very, very friendly with John Stuart. And she paused and she said, yeah, he's a little hit and miss. Wow. Yeah. Not everything is a 10 is what I'm saying. It's not all, it's not all 10s. And I'm like, wow, you just turned. Yeah, the stink. Wow. Stink of you. Mom, one of my wife is lying and I've never met John Stuart. Now you're souring on him because he's friends with your son. Wow. How old is your mom now? Let's say 81, 82. Well, my mom was around that age. She would say stuff like, if she'd visit me and this is her voice, do you have a spoon? Yeah, we have a spoon. Do you have a strawberry? We don't have any strawberries. We have blueberries. But I like strawberries. So anyway, that's just an exact... Look, you only have something to look forward to. Well, so where'd you grow up and how'd you grow up? In Carlos, like in the peninsula, south of... My hometown. Now. Dana, I'm not... Sorry to hijack this, but for one second... No, no, there's not a lot... There were not many more people in my young life who were more influential on me and important to me outside of my own family than Dana Carvey. Wow. It's why I got... Wow. I'm an SNL geek. I watched every episode for many, many decades. It was because of you. I tuned in early on because of you, your characters, your comedy. That's awesome. Thank you. Did you know you were neighbors? Then I found out early. Like in sixth or seventh grade, Wayne's World just becoming huge. And I'm like, this guy, this awesome guy, he's from San Carlos. He went to Carlmont High School just down the street. I'm from San Carlos. Wow. I went to Central Middle School. I was all about Dana Carvey. Wow. And then things... No. You're that big an SNL fan. And it's because of Dana. I would tune in to see what Dana did that week. And then it became part of the reason why I'm kind of doing... I gravitated towards this whole world because Dana Carvey sparked a lot of... And I can't conceive of that, but I understand. When I first came to LA... My mom sent me texts that said it's a little hit and miss. She said the early years before Carvey were spot on and then not the next year you left, but the year after that it kind of got back on track. But to find out... That's what my mom said. To find out my favorite guy in the show. This is your drive. This explains the Adam Carolla that is just... I don't have a prove it to people thing. I don't think. You have any... I would have a hard time watching my own special. I can't... Do you have a self-critical side? When you say that to me, I'll take it and accept it, but I can't totally... It's all surreal that I even got on the show. I remember talking... Well, I was in middle school so I didn't know anything. I had a good run there and I was with incredible people. You had a great run. Phil, of course, and Lovitz and Mike. Well, let's talk about drive and motivation for a second. Because I do want to kind of explore that for a second. I'm now thinking about that. First, I will tell my audience this. You do not have to drive anywhere. You go online. You go to Simply Safe. S-I-M-P-L-I Safe. This holiday season, check the home security off your list. Simply Safe. Having the biggest holiday sale ever. 200 bucks off. That's right. Special holiday security package. Award winning alarm system. 17 security sensors for each door and window. Panic button, extra siren. Wireless connection. Super easy to do, by the way. Just peel and stick with the 3M stuff. The batteries last up to 10 years. The wireless system will connect with the authorities and police dispatch. You don't have to do anything. Usually it's 600 bucks. Now it's just 400 bucks. No long-term lock-in contracts, installation costs, no hidden fees. Good guys. Better company. Get 200 bucks off. Go to SimplySafeAtom.com. That's SimplySafeAtom.com. Again, you'll save the 200 bucks. Use my name. Simply, two eyes in there. SimplySafeAtom.com. So. Simply Safe. That's the limit, sir. So drive. I don't have that. I never got love from mommy and daddy. I'm going to go find it somewhere else. I don't think. What I did get is, I think, I was so marginalized for such a long period of time that I didn't realize I could make a penny in this business or even do anything until I was 30. I was literally picking up garbage on a construction site at 26. I went, oh my God, I can make movies and I can do documentaries and I can write books. It was unheard of that anybody from where I grew up, you can't write a book or you can't spell. How are you going to get on the New York Times? Who do you think you're making up? Documentary? You're not an artist. You didn't go to NYU. How are you going to do anything? So now, for me, it's like, oh, I got to do it all this year. I know. Well, you were an athlete, right? In some ways. Yes. Because I was a runner and I was pretty good. I ran a 427 mile. Wow. But we had other guys in the team, a 417 and a 410. There's a long story to it. When I was running at the era I came, I wanted to be Steve Prefonte, which was the greatest American distance runner. And then there's a given point where that fantasy that you're going to play pro baseball or whatever it is isn't going to happen. But I still had all this competitiveness. So when I did stand up for the first time and it started to happen for me, I thought, wow, now I'm Steve Miller. Because Steve Miller was the 410 miler. So it was sorted, I don't know if it was to get love rather than, okay, I can do this. I can't dunk a basketball, but now I can be competitive and win. So that's what... What does your parents do? Dad was a high school teacher for 50 years, San Mateo High School. My mom was a preschool teacher. And five kids. The Wellington Drive. That's right. Why is that? I've been there many times. Weird about... Dana, one of the good guys. I don't know why, but there's something about your reputation that's not even your reputation. It's just something that's out ahead of you. And every time Dana Carvey's name comes up, everyone says, oh, nice guy. Like super, super nice guy. You don't get any... Well, he's going to be a little bit here, you know, catch him on a good day. Dana's Dana. Yeah, I mean... Might be slightly dysfunctional. Normal. And real normal for comedy. All my madness is just right in here. I have a lot of neuroses. My kids... I got two sons that are in the early 20s now. But when they were like 14 or 15, they got me a little book for my birthday. It said worst case scenario, like how to survive a bumblebee attack. I mean, I worry a lot. I have a terrible fear of flying. I'm maybe overly empathetic. Like right now, part of me is thinking, I hope this is going well for you guys. I mean, I don't know whether that's like neuroses or whether I'm nice. Well, there's a... Nice gun has a weird connotation, doesn't it? Well, neuroses is like paprika. Like a dusting of it is good. Like a pleaser. Being a pleaser to a certain extent is no good because you don't want to see this movie, but you agree to go or you agree to go eat Thai food, but you're allergic to Thai food, but you're a pleaser and then you resent the person or you have gas or whatever it is. I've done that in my life, but I was aware at some point that I had a lot of anger and I was passive aggressive and I'm in therapy now, believe it or not, at this age. Being the pleaser, it comes back to haunt whoever you're pleasing because you end up paying with a little interest and penalties on it. It's a dysfunctional way to be. You get your way, which is I want Thai food. Do you in the mood for Thai food? No, really, but I'll go because you want to go and then you go and later on you'll be punished through whatever modality. Yeah, I mean in my professional life, so to speak, I was able to stand up for myself when I needed to. I wasn't so pleasing like, oh, you do this sketch, you know. But in my personal life and what happened to me and others is just being very tight with my brothers and sisters and then all of a sudden I was famous and getting very wealthy where I could make it one night where my brother, who we shared the bunk bed, like one of my very best friends to this day, it would take him four years to earn that. So that's just been a very weird process. He's gay prostitute. Doesn't pay what it used to. That's for damn sure. Why'd you get gay prostitute? Well, you got to work. I'm not judging him. I'm just saying. He's doing the math. I'm making a comment. Regular money. Regular money. Regular money, I think. Yeah, during the day and then the street lights would come on and you have to make some extra stretch. I do what you got to do. I'm not going to get it. It's called for pay. I thought this was the clean show. This is the one where we're not going to. But anyway, so there's all these different things about me that maybe are underneath the surface of nice guy. I got a quick question before you. You all seem nice. That's the tip of my tongue. I met Mike Myers, I think once. He strikes me as a genius, but that's just strikes me as sort of a little bizarre or different. Or so I'm not trying to say something in a negative way. No, no, no. He's very eccentric and very to himself. He always was just, you know, he's kind of European and Canadian in a way and his parents from Liverpool. He was a child star in Canada. Oh, he was. Yeah. And sort of a wonder kind of me. Is it, do you stay in touch? Is it hard to keep up with guys that sort of just, I don't know, I feel like there's some people that slough off and it's kind of their doing. And then people say to you like, hey, you keeping up with them? It's like, no, but that's because they kind of fell off a little bit or they go, they're kind of solo acts or whatever. People have more layers to get through. Mike changes his email a lot. I don't know, like if he has security issues. So, but when we do email, when I saw him in the 40th, we did a sketch together and it was fine. I mean, I'm friendly. The ones who came in originally, Dennis Miller, I talked to pretty regularly, Kevin Neal and all the time, John Lovett's. Those are kind of the three. It is like, you know, it's a weird thing to have happen and share with people because it's, you know, Yes, sorry. Can I ask Dana Geeky a fan question? Yes. I think one of my all time favorite sketches of all of SNL and you happen to be in it was a massive head wound, Harry. Oh my God. Gary, you can probably find a still of this. Probably not good. It's such a visual gag. It's not good for the video. But the idea, remember this sketch, Adam? The idea for the people listening is a guy shows up at a cocktail party. He has a massive head wound. A open gaping wound. A gaping, seeping wound. And everyone, you know, Phil Hartman does a great double take. Hey, how's it going? Yeah. He freaks out and then at one point it's like, I'm just going to lie on your couch. He lies in the couch. He's getting the blood everywhere. And then brilliantly, a dog comes out. A dog comes out and starts licking it. Yes. Yeah. And of course, my question is, what did the prop department make that out of? Because at one point the dog starts to chew on it and tug on it. And Dana has the wherewithal to hold it in place. And then he hits it. Someone gets the dog away. Well, he drops the greatest line in SNL history. He says, he probably smells my dog. Right. Well, whatever they put on it, it was like baby food or meat flavored stuff. Oh, look at this. This dog is holding it in place. Yeah. Well, I had a choice. You know, when I first got on the show, Lorne Michaels didn't want anyone to break. That's Carol Burnett. So, when I felt that the sketch... Meaning no laughing. Well, the sketch was going so well that I had a choice. Like, I know the crowd would have went crazy if the dog had ripped my head off, but I decided at the moment that the sketch was so good anyway to hold it. So that's when that happens. You played it so straight. And just played straight. So great. We got... Wait, Gina, did you ask your question? No. You know, you do all these wonderful characters and, you know, I know you still do so many of them and are so great about that. I feel like a lot of comics and actors who are famous for one or two are a handful of things say, oh, thank you. I appreciate it. I don't do that anymore, but thank you very much. So are there any characters you feel like that about? Or you just... This is part of your family and this is what you do. Oh, yeah. I don't... I, you know, I want to see Hotel California if I see the Eagles. I mean, it's a great problem to have. But I don't... I try to do new stuff, but if I do an hour stand up, I'll do a little of church. She's great if I'm heckled. It's the ultimate. Oh, yeah. Well, we like to drink liquor and stuff, you know, that kind of thing. So but I don't mind, but I don't want to lean on them. So but yeah, I know that I'll never, I'll be remembered for those characters because, you know, they were on televised. Well, speaking of that, Cameron's got a question from Chicago. Oh, this is cool. Cameron. Hey, gang. How's it going? Got a question for Garth? I do. Hey, Garth, what are your thoughts on the 2017 Rock and Roll Hall of Fame nominees this year? Well, did Aerosmith get in? I think they're in. Who's in? They're turning in Europe right now. I think the main person that they forgot up there is Todd Rungren. That's the one I'm really waiting for. Hello, it's Garth. I thought about it. But seriously, Todd Rungren is not in the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame. Thanks for raising Taylor Aerosmith. Sorry. Yeah, sorry. The daughter of Taylor. The daughter of Taylor. Taylor. Yes. Yes. He raised her, right? Yeah. Yeah. Just for that. Yeah. He should be in. Yeah. Yeah. Herman and Meekalo. Mm-hmm. Oh, those are the ones. Those are all those. Nominees. Yeah. All nominees. Yeah. I suppose, I mean, aren't they the biggest band commercially? You gotta do it as Garth. Come on. Garth, thank you. Oh, yeah. Yeah, the journey should be in, because everyone likes to take a journey, so why wouldn't a journey be in? No one wants to be a Depeschi mode, because that mode doesn't get things done. Swing, party on. Hey, I can do Garth on the radio, and no one knows he's not here. That's right. You can't believe who just joined us. Yeah. I think it's fun. I like Adam and Corolla. All right, I'm going to talk to, let's see, let's hop up the line one here, talk to John 43 Portland, John. Oh, by the way, sorry, somebody sent me a tweet the other day, and it said, why do you say the ages? And I say it, because I do complain, like, oh, traffic and weather and news and traffic and weather and all this crap, you're wasting everyone's time. But when we did Love Line, I don't always say the name, because if somebody said, you know, I'm a virgin and my boyfriend wants to deflower me and you're 37, well, that's a totally different context than 15 or 16. And so give me your name. But by the same token, like when people say, hey, I'm single or I'm living at home or whatever, knowing your age factors in heavily into whatever advice or whatever mosaic I'm painting of you right now. So I like your question and your age to kind of factor in. As far as the Colin from Portland or wherever you are, that's just jerking off into a ceiling fan. But go ahead. Oh, well, so I first of all, I'd love to show you guys are off my foot and Adam for decades. And Gina and bald. Thank you. You guys make my commute. I go along commute every day and I take off. Oh, I'm sorry. I was an outburst. Thank you, John. Thank you. Yeah. Oh, I was in for me. Dana, I guess John, this is a big deal for me. I'm kind of in the Brian camp of nerding out. I played the church lady when I was in high school for skits and things. I'm wearing the dress right now. He is excellent. Excellent. But you know, both you guys are super funny. And the question is, how do you know? Like, is there like when you hit comedy gold, how do you know when it's when you've kind of onto something that's funny? Let you know what happens. I think for Dana, I got to believe it's a little more concrete because you can do these great impressions and come up with these great characters. And I don't know if you knew church lady was going to be good before you did it. I did. I did it in the clubs. It was originally almost like a Jim Gaffigan alter ego. Like I'd go on stage and at the time I looked so young, I would say, yeah, there's probably people out there now going, wow, wow, wow, they let children into the theater. And so that attitude evolves. So by the time I did on SNL, I knew where all the rhythms were. Although still it was shocking the first night I went, well, isn't that special? I went because it's not a funny line in particular. You know, I think that's the key with any sort of catchphrase. Yeah. There's nothing funny about here comes to judge either or get her done or any of that stuff. But it just, it, well, if it was funny, then it wouldn't be your sort of catchphrase because catchphrases aren't funny. They're jokes. They're punchlines or whatever it is. Yeah. And that's the ultimate condescending dismissal. What did you, what did you audition with? Now, and what did you have going into SNL? I had, I had Chopin Broccoli, which I know is absurd. I just did it once and Derek Stevens. I did one sketch on there with Derek Stevens where the record company comes in and tells him he has to die. Derek is on daily. He has to die. They're charts with Jim Morrison and Hendricks. They're record sales. But I, and it was, but I don't want to die. And it just, it died in the studio because it was so heavy. I had Church Lady in my pocket, not, not as a fully formed. I never wore the dress. It was just a character. I had a bunch of impressions. My go-to was Jimmy Stewart, Robin Leach. This goes back to 86. Probably did Casey Kasem. I didn't have that much. I mean, the show really helped me develop more stuff. Well, isn't that when you had George H.W., or was that too early? That was late. That was later. That took a year to learn how to make that Mr. President George Bush senior funny. It took a year. It did. Cause he was so, there was nothing there after Reagan was the Gumblin Foolish. I gotta believe that if you're doing an audition and you can do the current president, that's gonna help a lot. But that was Reagan during those times. I wanna, can you just walk us through the actual process? It seems to be a little different for everybody. But like, first off, who gave you the nod in the first place? How did you, how did you come here and identify? Well, I auditioned a couple times and I actually followed Kenison once at the comedy store at midnight after 20 comics and I just bombed. So then when it came around again in 86, I didn't wanna go to the comedy store. Improv with the cattle call of comedians. So there was a 100 seat club on the west side called Igby's and so I wanted Lorne Michaels to see me there and Rosie O'Donnell was headlining that club. So they asked her if I could come in and do like a regular set, like 35, 40 minutes. So she said yes. So I was scared out of my mind and I was there and Lorne came in with the head of the network at the time, Brandon Tartakov, NBC and Cher. Now the comedy stylings of Dana Garni. So just, I was 31, I've been 10 years of stand-up. Everything I ever did had failed except club work and I was thinking this is it. And I did well enough to basically get the show from that. And then I lived at Lorne Michaels house during the month of August. Wow. Yeah. Really? Yeah, Lorne, come out, you stay. And I didn't know, I thought everyone did. I show up in Lorne Michaels house, just me, him and A. Whitney Brown. And we're just at Lorne Michaels house. In August, in July, besides doing the clubs, I played a pizza parlor in Martinez, California, you played to four people. Now I'm at Lorne Michaels house. I've never done sketch comedy and I'm starting the show October 8th and I'm going to be on Saturday Night Live. And the way the show wound up, the church lady was moved up, all these pieces were moved around and my manager came into the dressing room at the time. He talked like this. He goes, I don't know why it is, but it's your show. I don't know why. And I didn't even know I was in the cold opening. I kept in regular sketches, I would look toward the audience when I got a laugh like a stand-up. And so that's how it happened. Wow, that's so bizarre. Well, everything. I mean, there's no straight line to SNL that's going to be, eh, been there, done there, heard that one. It was only unique in that we were the last cast where it was so small. And after that, Lorne always had rotating junior varsity. I mean, our junior varsity was Chris Rock, Farley, Sandler, Spade, and Dennis Miller would go in their dressing room and just dissect him and they loved it. They'd go, come on, do it again. It's kind of Christ's Sakes, Farley, Country Not Buying the Fatty Guy. Then he'd go over to Sandler. They don't get this. Okay, Sandy? You know, it was just, he just, and they loved it. They were laughing. Chris Rock, sorry, it's not happening. There's no second Eddie here. You know, and it was so, so funny. And they loved it. They loved Dennis doing it. They just, come on, Dennis. Oh, you know. God, he's such a brilliant guy. God. Crazy mind, yeah. Crazy brilliant mind. All right, hold tight. Let me tell you. He says nice things about you too. I'm a fan of that guy. He's always had been, and I think he's the one, it's kind of, well, it's, I'll tell you, like if you ever do something, well, okay, this is self-serving. But so I did the, I have a documentary that came out yesterday called The 24 Hour War. And then I had another one about Paul Newman's racing career. I might have seen that one. I don't know. I'll not, I'll make sure. Is it on? I don't see it. It's on Amazon Prime, I think. I think I did see that. I think I did see it. I loved it. And at the end of the, at the end of the movie, we had everybody, it was like Mario and Dretty, Champion Racer and this, that, whatever. And I said, you know, at the end, when Paul's, after he's dead, we should show a picture of him sitting in the car and then we should have Paul Newman driver. And it should, and then when the other things fade away, the driver should just like stay there for an extra like three seconds or something. I was sort of designing this thing to try to, Kara, I don't know if you got, you can find the end of that movie somewhere. Yeah, I got it right here. I'll show you what I meant. I'll tell you that. But, and then I'll tell you the Dennis Miller thing. First, I'll tell you about the Rich Uncle's, hmm, lot of uncertainty in the country right now. Well, that is true. Your retirement portfolio, how's that going? In the stock market? I don't know. It's time to diversify. 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RichUncles.com. RichUncles.com. RichUncles.com. RichUncles.com. RichUncles.com. RichUncles.com. RichUncles.com. RichUncles.com. RichUncles.com. RichUncles.com. RichUncles.com. RichUncles.com. RichUncles.com. RichUncles.com. RichUncles.com. Miller saw the movie and he wrote me a very long, wonderful email. Which one? The Newman documentary. And then at the end he said, and you held on driver at the end and he started explaining how he sort of choked up a little bit. He picked out the thing that I spent a bunch of time picking out that I didn't think anyone would really notice or speak about. Maybe subconsciously it brings some feeling up in them. But he tapped right into it and was specific about it. I thought in a self aggrandizing way, that guy's smart. He gets me. Dennis is a very sentimental, he's a seriously sensitive instrument. He feels things a lot. Especially around his sons. He's pretty, you know, because we both, our child was a little challenging so to speak. So, what was challenging about your upbringing? I mean you had 25, you had a lot of brothers and sisters. Brothers and sisters. Just, my father was very intense. He would throw violent tantrum. We had corporate punishment. Really? Grabbing around with belts and things. Really? Was it from hanging around kids all day? No. He was given up at birth. He was an orphan and wandered all around rural Montana in the 20s and 30s. At one point his dad came to get him and he lived in Seattle and his dad got in a fight on the docks and he was hiding under a stairwell. So he was traumatized. He was traumatized and he was a very troubled man. Well, thank God he molded youth for 50 years. Well, we... To drive a truck? He doesn't want to be out of town that way at least. Yeah. The school... You know, when you said mom taught and dad taught and we come from the Bay Area where I was like, okay, super crunchy dad. We know the type. Yeah, like Lieutenant Sunshine is coming home every day. But here's the thing and we should all hate our parents and I'll tell you why. My parents were fairly horrible and their parents were horrible. Right. They... Both my parents come from horrible environments. Right. And thus me and my sister come from a fairly horrible environment. Right. I love to be Jesus out of my kids and I tell them on a daily basis. Right. You know, I wouldn't call it overcompensating. It's just I got a couple of great kids. Like why not kick them a kiss? And the idea of hitting my son without being playful, like literally striking my son or my daughter feels insane and foreign to me. Totally different than coming within a millimeter of his face and telling him not to move. We have that. Oh, okay. You can find that. Well, he'd go get... I throw a fake bunch. We had this... He would snap the belt to terrorize you and then he gathers all around how many, you know... Psychological torment. The only thing you can say for everything you get, you give up and vice versa. So what it may... I was just used to being traumatized and in pain. So I go into stand-up comedy and distance running. Like this feels familiar. I mean, I think that if you make the childhood too, too fantastical, a little bit of what's happened with the millennials, it's a little tough. I know it's been talked... It's being talked about all over the place, but it really is... The boomers did. We did a number on them. No, I... I just... We did a number on you guys. I can't... It's so bizarre to me to have my kids fear me. That's weird. I want them to respect me through actions and work and other achievements, but I don't want them to ever be scared when I come home. No, I didn't want them to be scared in our house. I loved that all the neighborhood kids would come to our house. But why would you... I mean, that's... It's just one of those things that I know it's... Maybe it's vexing... Why... I know your dad had a lot of trauma. That's fine. A lot of people have had a lot of trauma. Why do we need to then, knowing firsthand how horrible that is, we need to inflict that upon our offspring? I know some therapists refer to it as miserable familiarity. So it's what you know, we gravitate toward what we're familiar with, and that's as far as it goes. The problem that you have as a child of a rough childhood is that my father could control his temper and his emotions at work, and then you come home and unload. So that was like, well, how... Well then, where does his culpability... I don't know. Is it... How long... Is he still alive? No, both went to Jesus. And how long did he get to experience all of your success? My mom and dad, I mean, and my mom, she was very... She grew up wealthy and then married my dad, had no money. So they really... I had a sense of wanting to take care of everybody anyway, and so when I got money, I started just passing out, especially my parents, and then it got crazy toward the last 15, 20 years that everything was about, can we get more money, to be honest, everything. When did they pass? My dad about eight months ago, my mom maybe four years ago. But he was 92 and just died in his sleep. It was no one... I mean, it wasn't... Yeah, I get it. I'm sort of that way with people, which is someone makes it to their 90th birthday and beyond, that's a pretty good run. But as far as the money goes, I'll show you this Newman thing real quick, which Gary just pulled up. Oh, it's just a human being, I represented Paul Newman. I consider myself lucky, I had Paul for a brother, he couldn't say that. Yeah, so Miller just tapped right into that, which I was happy about. Yeah, yeah, well that is... Strong visual there. That is emotional. Let's talk about... So it... Okay, so kind of experienced this to some degree, which is... No, there's just kind of this weird thing that relationship that you have with people, which is everything becomes normal and becomes even at a certain point. So if you have a roommate and you cook the lasagna and you scrub the pan and you make the table and then you bust the dishes and clean it, that sounds like you're doing all the work. At the end of one week of doing that, that's now the water level of the relationship. That's the normal, that's the standard, that's called Tuesday. And if you start deviating from that or you start saying, look, I'm making the lasagna, but do I have to go to the market, clean the pan and scrub the thing? They'll go, yeah, because that's... That's the way it's done. What you do. We're at our sort of... Yeah. We're sort of... The bubble and the level of life is in between the two lines, even though the level is way off plumb, a way off level. It's tilting hard left and their mind, that bubble is just right in the middle. So if you give your sibling... I paid for their... My dad leased them luxury cars and paid for my daughters, my kids... My wife's kids, school, private sister school, whatever, extended family, whatever it is, it's just compounding. It just is. Yeah. It just is. You don't get a special card for Christmas or anything. 10 points free. That's where we're at. The bubble is in between their lines, not lifelines. The level's all over the road, but in their mind, that's where it is. And then after 10 years of leasing Mercedes, you go, no more. They go, oh, what the hell? What's going on here? Why are you being a dick? Yeah. No, once you put that... I started doing just consistent monthly... Right. So because there was no organization to it. Right. If I had a good year and someone needed a house, I bought him a house, but then why doesn't this person get a house? Sure. I was teetering along. But part of me, I don't know if it was guilt or like, yeah, I kind of wanted to help people make their lives a little better. And even now, as my siblings are getting older, I want to make sure that nobody is suffering, that they're okay because it's too bizarre. Is the previous... Because I got very fortunate, no matter how hard you work. That's why I love Paul Newman, by the way. I've always quoted him because he always deflected the Newman South. If you raised $365, I would have kept the money. He was such a throwback. He made fun of... He never once kind of went, well, yeah, I did do a lot. I love that about Paul Newman. Yeah. Anyway, so I know him sequitur. No, no. He, after winning, I guess, is either second or third national championship. I was like, Paul, you've won the national championship. I was like, oh, Shirley Temple would have gotten that car. Gone like a rocket. It was so well prepared. Like, that's what he just got to say. It's not in vogue right now in our culture. No, I love that about the man. But do you feel like there was an appreciation for what you did? For your family? Well, my parents went all the way through. I suppose it's just that they... What was it expressed to you? They just wanted more, to be honest. My dad, toward the end, he found out I was helping out one of his sons. You know, what are you doing giving him money for? We're the parents. We're entitled. So they got distorted because it was so much. And it was my own sickness in a way. And it just went on and on and on. But I got him a house. I got him all kinds of stuff. See, this is my thing. And this is why you hear me railing against handouts all the time. Like, you know, make your kid breakfast. Do that. It's a simple act. It shows them that you care. It doesn't cost any real money. Make them and everybody's like, why don't you... Why are you so cruel? You will turn good people into bad people by just giving them crap. You really will. Now, your dad started off as a bad person, but you can take otherwise pretty decent folk, like hardworking, regular folk and kind of turn them into soft, bitchy, unappreciative, greedy, whatever. Pretty easily. Or worse, sounds like it happened with Dana's siblings and her family. The envy. Like this guy's getting that. Yeah. What's up? My parents were always... To a certain degree. My parents were never money-grubbing and always nice. But when my mom found out that I was leasing my dad a luxury car and only, you know, re-roofing her house or running a porch on or doing the bits and pieces with her, she felt jipped. Well, that's the envy I'm talking about. Like, why would you do this? Well, that's why... It's turning her into a bad person. It really is. That's why you want to organize. And the truth of the matter is, you know, people need money when they're older. I mean, when you're subsidizing a very healthy, no drug addiction, no physical ailments, 28 year old, that's one thing. But if someone's close to 70 and has a bad back, that's when they... Right. That's where morally... And also if someone has a real problem, but I'm very tight with my siblings. I'm cool with it all. I mean, it was just... It was such a bizarre rocket that I got on. It was so distorted. I would have needed a really good business manager and a good therapist right at that moment because I felt such guilt. Here's what I'm saying. For the person that is paying for the private school or paying for the car, paying the mortgage or sometimes beyond health care, things of that nature, could that person get a Christmas card around December, middle of December each year that said, hey, Dana, this is your sister. I know it's not much, but thanks for all you do. It means a lot to us and our family. Thank you. There you go. Literally a buck 29 worth of hallmark. Can they do that? The thing is they never do that. And the reason they never do that is because it's admittance of guilt. It's acknowledgement of I need you. So I'm just going to pretend like this doesn't exist. Right. So one of my story, did you get any good cards? It just said, hey, man, thanks. Really appreciate it. Yeah. It's just an upending thing. I mean, when it first started, we'd go home for Thanksgiving dinner, the refrigerator with all the kids' pictures. And as the years went by and I got more popular and got more money, there'd be more pictures of me on the refrigerator. That's how it's done. And I say, mom, what are you doing? But it's all kind of happened now. I'm out the other side. I have a business manager. I have a therapist with my wife and I'm helping where I can, but in a very considered way. So I also saved a lot of money because I grew up poor and I never wanted to go on bended knee back to my father. Right. So I saved a lot. Jeez. I love it. I love that everyone's miserable. Right? Isn't St. Carlos a bizarre place? You can grow up with relatively low means and now it's hard of silicon. My house, the family home step is probably 1500 square feet. It's well over, it's like close to two million now. My parents bought it for 24 nine. It sat there for a year. They couldn't unload it in 1960. You want 24,000 for this house? You got your mind? My parents bought their place in 87 for 250,000 at the time. My mom's dad is like, you guys just bought a quarter million dollar fixer upper and they just sold it for $1.8 million. Unbelievable. It's not a house. I mean, this is not a mansion. I ain't stressed the imagination. Those people own their equity. My mom's house was $10,000 in like 1951 in Valley Village sold for like 675 so they could bulldoze it. Yeah. I don't want to be a one upper, but they bulldozed my house. Move it aside. It's a small patch of land. Where's our equity? Where's our 40 times of the value of the house that we bought? What happened? I don't know. It's crazy. It's all sort of crazy. 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Go to lifelock.com or call 1-800-LIFELOCK. Use promo code ATOM15. Oh, well, speaking of Christmas coming up, a new limited edition release and a new design. Don't do your best. Do my best. That's my favorite thing. T-shirts available today. I think we got some bugs in our hands. Did everyone else have a good childhood here? I feel like I'm dominating. Pretty good. Brine's was good. Okay. Gina's was pretty good. I had a good relationship with my parents. I was just free range. Mine was good because of Dana Carvey. Same. Geez. I'd like to think my dad would have beat me if he had the energy. In all fairness, you look back on it, my dad did get me a drum set when I was 14. I asked for a lot of years. Oh, my God, no. I know. Well, you got it half off at Bruce Stewart's Music School. No, it doesn't help. I was talking to Maria Menunos an hour and a half ago. She's lovely. I did her show once. I was saying, you know, a sense of humor. You know, people don't, oh, no, you know what I was talking about? I was talking about being a rancher. I like mechanical stuff. I like doing stuff. Everyone goes, oh, that's nice. Where'd you learn that? It's like, it's just in me. It's in me. It's always been, what, your dad was a mechanic? No, it's in me. I said, look, no one asked, you know, when you talk to Tommy Lean, you got to start drumming. How'd that go? I was six and I was banging on pots and pans and that's what happened. In the next year, I got a drum kit and I never, I never got off it. And I said, I was that kid, but with mechanics and I never got the drum kit. That's different. But now Dana Carvey said the worst child in the world got the drum kit. I had a Hardy Boyz book with my snare drum. I, you want to hear a quick two story? So I was a big shoplifter because we were really poor. So we'd go down to Laurel Avenue and send Carlos and I would steal, steal stuff from Laurel, the music store there. And I stole these drumsticks on a regular basis. Rod's records? Uh, well, years later, I was, this is so Hollywood, but I was at the Four Seasons in the bar and the Grateful Dead were there and Mickey Hart, the drummer, we were talking and he said that he had owned a music store in San Carlos. They go on Laurel Avenue and he goes, yeah. That was his place. So I gave him 10 bucks. They were cheap back then. Um, yeah. Yes. The, uh, special straight white male 60. Absolutely fabulous. Super funny. It's available now on Netflix and the, uh, also coming up, uh, if you want to send him a tweet, it's at Dana Carvey. Uh, I do any character if you want. I'll be a human, human jukebox. Yeah. Comedy showcase Sunday, December 4th and it's going through the 18th. Where's that at? I go to the West side to try out material. It's only got 50 seats in it. So I can't believe it's not a seat. You better get there early. It's 10 bucks and it's just me making up stuff and my sons, the 24 hour war available in iTunes and chassis, two S's and a Y if you like and Corolla drinks for the holidays and all that good stuff, order all that stuff now. And until next time, this is Anne Corolla for Dana Carvey and Gina Brandon Mulbrine saying Mahala. Don't do that. It's all a biblioteca. All right. That was Adam Corolla show 1957. Come up next. We have Adam Corolla show 1985. Jay Moore, David Wilde, Gina, Brad and Brian Bishop from 2017. Check it out. Good day, Gina. Good day to you. Handball Brian. Test as our first fever. Oh, I thought you were being a little bitch. I'm being a little bitch because I had to take her out of daycare today. They wouldn't take her. They said take her home. She's hot. Poor thing. Well, they got exposed kids to it. Kids who have fevers? Yeah. I don't think you do. Oh, yeah, man. Dr. C in the house. Built character. That's right. David Wilde is here. He'll tell you about the boogie woogie fever. Happy hashtag golden shower gate. Yeah. To everyone. The show, by the way, it's a Comedy Central show, Comedy Jam, and they're doing a live taping tonight. Tonight. And if you, yes, if you want to go to the comedy jam tickets dot com, I'm going to double check that you can be there for free, get some tickets. It's going to be, we've had amazing people like it's comedians and actors singing and then sometimes they're joined by people. We've had like Natalie Mainz, your former flame. Yeah. She came up and sang with one of our comedians, Richie Sambora came and jammed. And then I think, yeah, for tonight, you could see everyone from like Jay Farrow. He's going to have a really cool guest, Busy Phillips, some really cool, cool people. I love Busy Phillips. Because. Malin Ockerman. I love that name. She's super cool. I just worked with that with her yesterday. And Busy's name Busy because she was a busy kid. Really? Yeah. I just like when you just get named what you are. Fuck you. Is that busy? Busy. I have been busy and speaking of kids. So we had Scott Carney on and he was had the book, what doesn't kill you? It was talking to kill us, by the way, and he was talking all about the cold water plunge plunge, the cold plunge. And I said, well, I got a pool in my backyard. It's probably about 52, 53 degrees. So I could go do it. He said, well, go do it. And I said, all right, because it's been an ongoing thing. We've been talking about all the sort of peanut allergies and all the safe spaces and all the. Good morning. We just wrap every kid in bubble wrap and all mainly for me at all distills down to Purell, like this notion that they hand out Purell everywhere and wherever you go and everyone's supposed to use Purell all the time. And this and this and everyone's washing all the time. And I've always said, I think this is weakening our systems here. And I got a tweet today from a guy I said his dad taught in public school for 30 years. And he said from 1960 to 1990. And he said, in those 30 years, he had one kid who was allergic to peanuts from 1960 to 1999. Now you could imagine putting together 30 years from 2000 to 2030 with one kid. I said, how could we physiologically change this much? So anyway, I'm with Scott and Scott was saying, well, go take that cold water plunge. And I was like, I literally look out into my backyard and have nightmares about being drunk and falling into the pool and being like a guy fell off a crab boat. Just waiting and just flapping. Well, eventually that would give way to just a dead man's float. And so I got home yesterday and it gets dark about five and it's been raining and it's been as cold as it gets out here, which is not. Don't give me folks calling in from Minnesota, but it's 50. It's never 50 to 52 degrees during the daytime. It's cold. It's wet steam coming out of your mouth. And as opposed to L.A. hot, which is a description of a hot chick, right? Yeah. It also feels like an an 80s kind of bar that had an outdoor seeing area. Failed Stephen Bosco pilot. So two Ts. I said, I said, all right, I'm going to try this. So I got home and it was like four o'clock and I said, I'm getting my swim trunks and I'm going in that pool. And then I said to my son, you want in? Ha. God, Brian. Sorry, buddy. It wasn't a waste of his time. Sonny doesn't get into the pool. He's doing it the words out. I spent I spent the fourth of July floating in the pool yelling at Sonny, getting a goddamn pool. I didn't build this pool for me to float around in solo and he's like, I'm good. That's on the fourth of July. So I can only imagine. But for some reason, something's going on with him. That's good. And he said, yeah, I'll give it a try. And I said, all right. And he showed up in his trunks with his long sleeve t-shirt on. I don't know why kids have to wear shirts in the pool now. And I was presumably because it was freezing outside and his goggles, which is which is funny. And I said, cautious boy. Yeah. All right. I said, now I'm going to go get in. So I gave my phone to my nanny Olga and I said, you need to take a picture because I told everybody I'd take a picture of me in the pool. Gary'll show the show the picture. The pool water is 52 degrees and it was it was cold. But I will say just like Scott had predicted what what happens is you have the photographs. Right, Gary? Yeah. Sorry. My quick time crash. I'm not sure. He's a video. I think you've named your brain quick. Not so quick. It turns out the pool was freezing. But I must say when you get into the pool, you have this initial sensation of shock. What have I done? What have I done? And then as you start to kind of regulate your breathing, you have this warmth come over you. Then death. Then death. Sweet embrace of death. Yes. Nothing. I remember nothing after that. Did it make a huge difference after you put your head underneath? No. Regulating? For guys, it's the balls. But I found myself at a certain point going, I'm just going to sit here and I'm going to just try to regulate. And all of a sudden my body started to even out. I did not feel the cold. I just felt this sort of kind of a warmth mixed with little spikes of uncomfortable but not bad. And I sat in there for about five minutes and when I got out, I found myself standing now in a sort of misty rain at about 52 degrees outside, with steam coming off me. Warm. Just warm. Just like Scott said you would. And soaking shorts, just feeling hot. My body was red. I felt warm. And metabolizing like a mofo. I was like, here we go. And I felt, I felt great. And I got up this morning and I dunked myself at 8.15 in the morning. It was freezing. It was raining. I baptized myself. But the funny part, there's two parts of this that are funny. Now my son has stepped on to the Baja shelf. That's a place they say for kids to wait, but it's really for adults to drink. It's about an eight by eight square. It's about a foot deep and it's a way you can drink in the pool without drowning. And it's awesome. My son stepped on to that, got the water up to the bottom of his knees, and then he stepped down to the first step and got the water sort of mid thigh. And I think he went, fuck this. So I was like, yeah, that's the way I would feel too. Because it's this kind of this thing. And I'll tell Gary when to stop it. The thing that was funny is, well, first off, there's two things. It's Italian and Uggs. You can stop it there for a second. There's a couple things going on. First off, it's the only time I've ever had Philly cheesesteak look at me like this guy's nuts. Like normally Phil is dry humping a sofa pillow while devouring a bathroom. And I got to come in and go, are you nuts? Get off of that. But he was looking at me in the pool going, what the fuck? Like I'm a water dog. I went no part of this. He went in once just sort of on a whim, just because I pulled the cover off a few weeks ago. He was like, open water, man. And he doesn't get the old heating part. And he just went in and went, oh, getting out now, getting out. So I'm floating around the pool and Phil's like doing this weird move where he's put one paw in and he's looking at me, which is great. It's a great POV if you're in the pool because he's all jowl when he's up top and he's just going, I went in, but what are you crazy? What are you doing in there? Oh, there he is. Look at Phil. He's too cold. Phil. She's worried about the dog. Oh, believe me. Something happens to that dog and all goes away. That's what happens. Did you jump in or did you move? I walked in slowly. I walked in slowly because I did not want to burst a vessel in my forehead. Did you have a bigger or smaller pool in your childhood estate? Well, what size is Olympic technically? And which way? Center big by some people. We had, I had this great trifecta of pain, which is the house that I grew up in had one neighbor with an above ground pool, but those always go away. And then there was one person that put in another pool and we got to play around in that pool. But the worst thing I ever had was the dad's house where I used to sit in a sweat lodge called a garage for my bedroom with no air and no heat, no anything. And during the dog days of summer and like in July, just be brutal. Like you ever walk out of your house and walk into your garage and go, oh my God, it's burning in here or it's so much. It's either so much colder or so much higher because there's no insulation and there's no roof and there's I mean, attic and everything and whatever. I lived in this house in this garage, which is like in the backyard. There was a pool 12 feet to my left. That was the one neighbor pool. So 14 feet behind me was the third second pool and 22 feet to the right was the third pool. So I had this crown, this halo of pools around me and I'd just be laying my beds like pepion when he was in the infirmary with the fan going and the gay guy putting the flower in my mouth and I'm laying on my back and I just hear Marco pull up. Just splashing and splashing around all day long and I just lay there just hallucinating because of the heat. When you fly out of Burbank, it's one of these amazing things where you realize, oh my God, like because I have the East Coast sense where pools do noted wealth. Right East where like you drive, you go over Burbank airport and you go, oh my God, there's like all these people in shitholes with pools. And then it also makes you go, how did I miss pools and every single house my family bought? It seems like statistically you'd have to land on one pool, wouldn't you? So that's how I grew up. So I put the pool in the back and Sonny said, I'm with you on this manly experience. I think he wanted it. I think he thought he was going to impress me. You put down the carrot sticks. That's right. And he said, I'm with you. So he had the goggles and the shirt and everything. I said, all right. So I went float around the pool for about five, six minutes and I was like, all right, I've proven everything I need to prove. And I said, I'm getting out and Sonny was just sort of standing on that first step. And I said, well, Sonny, I'm getting out of the pool. And if you're jumping in now's the time because it's raining and I'm staying here my shorts and I'm getting out of the pool. And Sonny said, I'm going for it. What? And then he looked at me and he said, pain, don't hurt. And I said, I thought you'd be bigger. And then so he said, I'm totally prepared for him because he's backed out. Every roller coaster and every scooter and go cart and zip line ride in America. You raised a Jewish son. I did. I did minus the study habits. By the way, like a C minus, you know, C minus Jewish son in temperament. Yes. Not scholastic achievement. So I got the worst of all. I got the worst of all worlds. So I said, and we'll roll the tape. And the thing that you should listen for is listen for Lynette. In case you want to know what I'm against on a daily basis when I say things like let them walk to the pinkberry. I'll give him 10 bucks and get a frozen yogurt. We live in the safest neighborhood in America. What let them go up that they're just not walking on the not walking on the highway. Just walking up the side street to get a pinkberry. They'll be back. Should we take bets on what that's going to say? I have my money on. Sonny, no, you'll catch a cold. You'll catch your death. The funniest thing in the world is I've said 200 times. This is the difference between moms and dads. I just went, look, there's I have to preface everything with this isn't my idea or I didn't form the study. I read it from smart people because if I do anything that is like, hey, I got a hunch. We're done. We're done. My guts telling me that we're done. I have to say I read online a study out of Yale and then we can might be able to make some progress. I've said one million times. It's interesting because we talked about Vinny Torterich. The worst part about fat has got the word fat in it. The worst part about catching a cold has got the word cold in it. So when you go, don't I'll go, we're going to walk to the liquor store. Do you're going to catch cold? It's cold outside. You're going to get cold. You're going to get the thing it is outside and it's going to get grafted on you. And I go, there is no correlation between being cold and catching a cold. And it's like you put on five layers and some mucklucks because you're going to catch a cold because it's cold. And it's like, there isn't, you don't catch colds because it's cold. You cannot talk a mom. You will not talk Christy out of the cold equals cold department. So Lynette's standing in the house because it's too cold. Which is sad because she's the only one I want to see in the pool. My guess is he's turning blue. You're going to know. No, no, you have to think you have to factor this in. How does the critique of the old man who built the pool factor here? What am I, what's my role in this? I'm so far, I'm standing just to the left. You can, I'm standing just to the left up on the side of the pool. Sonny is got us back to the house and he's getting ready. He's on that Baja shelf looking ready to jump. He stepped off the Baja shelf onto the first step and I've just given him the, hey man, I'm heading into the house. So if it's go, it's go and we'll see what happens. Listen to Lynette. Oh, no, no, no. Oh my God. 52 degrees. Get him out. Get him out. Get Miss Towel. Get Miss Towel. Get Miss Towel ready. Put it over him. Put the towel. You guys. Seriously. Natalia is laughing her ass off. Oh my God. I love Lynette so much. Such a good mom. I can't. That's the sweetest instinct. What a good mom. Yeah. I'm going to get a little bit of a drink. I'm going to get a little bit of a drink. I'm going to get a little bit of a drink. I'm going to get a little bit of a drink. That's the sweetest instinct. That is the sweetest instinct. I know. I can't. Get it over him. Well, the reason he's wearing a long sleeve shirt. He jumped in the pool. With a long sleeve shirt on. Now, keep in mind, I'm standing with no towel. But all right. That was you. I thought that was Jake Jilin. Wow. I stood in in the fighter. I was just standing there and Sonny jumped into the pool and I was sort of being his towel valet. But when he got out of the pool, he was wearing a sopping wet long sleeve baseball undershirt. And I didn't want to do the whole Toro towel move where I do the full drape around him because he's wearing a wet shirt. I was thinking we're going to pull the shirt off and then I'm going to go around him because it didn't make sense to go around him. But I got caught in between because he popped out with the shirt on and then started a beeline. Made a beeline. He took the towel and threw it over his shoulder. I take this with you. I was heavily critiqued. I bet. I'm going to say Lynette was very concerned, but it's not like she ran outside and got the risk getting wet from the towel. She just ordered you to do so. She was wearing suede. Oh, good. It was wet. If we can see the end of that again, Gary. Roll it back to a little bit. Roll it. Give us five seconds ahead before he jumps in. Please watch Sonny's, for the people at home, Sonny's expression on the way in purely. He's smiling. He couldn't be happier. He hit the water. It did affect him hard when he hit the water, but I was very proud of the fact that he was standing in freezing water up to his mid-dive and he took the dive. Yes, Gary. I will roll it back for you, but I gave you as much head as I was sent, so I can't really give you more than I already showed you. Can we hear that? It's three separate videos. That's why it appears there's more here. Oh, I see. The one clip is all started from the beginning. So there's Sonny. Oh, no. Oh my God. Oh my God. Give me two of them. Get him out. Get him out. You can go. Give me his towel. In the towel. Put it on for him. Put the towel. Look at the smile on his face. She's acting like he's at Guantanamo Bay. He's tortured. Keep it going. He's smiling. He's breathing. All right. Best day in Italia's life. She loved it. You and Jimmy never did the Polar Bear Club and having to join them. Well, we did. Let's see. We went to a fertility clinic and had a race. I can tell you that once. We went to wrestling camp, which was about as brutal as it got. You don't realize in wrestling camp when Hillbilly Jack, who's the 400 pound guy with the thyroid issue and the overalls. And there's two kinds of wrestler. There's buff wrestler and then there's sloppy overall wrestler. When sloppy overall wrestler gets you in the headlock with the multiple side rolls and the huge gun and the I don't shave my pits. This ain't the tan. I'm waxing wrestler. This is the sloppy Hillbilly resident. You don't realize what your head smells like after that dude gets you in a headlock. You want to be headlocked by ravishing Rick Roode, not Hacksaw Jim Duggan. That's exactly. I begged the rock to put me in a headlock when I worked with him recently. Yeah, you never, never watched it back your neck again. So Sunny took the sort of polar bear challenge. I was I was proud of the boy. Will this be a daily occurrence? I don't think it's going to be for Sunny, but I've got to say I had a very long night the night before a lot of the prom with the septic tank and the sewage smell and the waking up in the middle of the night and all sorts of stuff. You should have called Brian and we would have come and fixed it. I didn't want to put you to journey, man. I know you. I know all you troubleshoot all day long. Yeah, I I I used to laugh about this, but it's it's kind of true. And it's a quicker way to do it, which is the people who go, you know, you come into work and you go like, oh, I need a cup of coffee. I had a long night. I'm feeling tired or whatever. And they go, I go to the wine swim 200 laps at six a.m. every day. And I've never felt more awake. And I've always said, of course, you threw yourself in a body of water for an hour. Of course, you're awake. You know, if a peer broke and I fell in the lake, I'd be awake too. But I'm not going down to the wine swim for an hour. But I realized I sort of made this deal with myself. I took my phone out this morning. I got my underpants and I said, look, what are we really talking about here? You're going to walk down. You're going to submerge yourself. I said, I got one grand parker song worth of submerging. I walked out to the thing. I set my phone down. I put the grand parker song on. What song? And I went, uh, don't bury the lead. Oh, stupid faction. No, it's actually interesting. And it's, uh, it just happened to be at the top of my playlist, paralyzed. Ooh, that's perfect. Which is telling, but I like it. I like that song a lot. So there it is. So I thought I sort of reasoned with myself. I can walk out of this house. I can go submerge myself for three minutes and 31 seconds. You can't be too strong. You can't be too strong. Grand Parker song. And I can then get out and walk back into the house and be all in it about five minutes, right? And I will be totally awake and I'll be ready, ready to go after a horrible night's sleep. And that counts as a shower. Oh, to the yes. Showering is now completely up. Leave it on my off my list now. Oh, it's about to say paralyzed. All right. So, so, um, that I did. And, uh, I got to tell you, I recommend it. I did feel my body completely shift into this sort of weird mode, but I also, there's that moment where you start to hyperventilate. And then that part we go, now you have to breathe and you have to take control of yourself and you have to bring it down. And if you do it right, you will find yourself standing outside of the pool in the rain and 51 degree weather in your shorts, radiating heat, literally feeling warm. I was not uncomfortable at all. Well, and I think there's a difference too. At least you got to do this in the privacy of your, your own home because at the Korean spa, we do this naked with a ton of chicks hanging out. You're like, what is she doing over there in the ice? I'm poor Gina's like, you still got one titty in the pool. Sweetie. I was halfway in the car. No, no, there's still titty in the pool. Let's go. Let's get it out of there. Oh my God, you're right. Yeah. We got another couple coming in. Yeah. Yeah. I can't do that. Do you like breast humor? She loves it. Yes. I can't get enough. Please. Yeah. I only say because you're such a good sport. All right. Jay Morse here. So let me push you on for a second. Tell you guys about true car. Love these guys. So whether you're getting a new car, used car or an amphicar. Yes, they have amphibious car. They built way back in the day. I saw James Bond. Yeah. They literally built one just for the road. Oh yeah, they're out there. You can go get them if you want used or whatever. True car. They have, you can choose from over 700,000 pre-owned vehicles from over 13,000 true car certified dealers nationwide. What are you looking new? Whether you're looking used, I suggest true car. Find out what everyone paid in your neighborhood, apples to apples. Then get your certificate, lock it in, go to your certified dealer and pick up your car. It's new. It's used. It's true car. And again, it's not one of these. Oh, the here's the one they put on the commercial. And then of course that one's gone and then they try to upsell you. Nope. You lock it in and just go pick up your vehicle. So whether you're going new, whether you're going used, go to truecar.com. That's truecar.com. New, used, truecar.com. Yes. Adam, when you're in your new true car, I suggest if you haven't already been listening to James, listen to J. Moore's podcast this week was a very special episode. I will say no more, but it was very emotional. It's like the first time I got choked up listening to a J. Moore podcast. More stories. Jay's going to be in here in a second. I fucked those guys. And they fucked me. You got choked up. That gets me emotional right there. You guys tell me, I'm going to dig deep a little for a second, but he comes in here and does Randy Warwick and it cracks me up. And he's just a blue collar, white trash kind of kind of dude. Tell me a weird this is there's a guy named Brad. Brad is the white trash dude in our group. Brad is the guys on the perennial top 10 list of top three, five, whenever. Cousin Sal does his character of the year. Brad has all the stuff. Brad sounds exactly like Jay. When Jay does Randy Warwick. And the thing that's funny is we nickname Brad. We call him Randy, but have been calling him Randy for years based on nothing. That's why it's weird when Jay comes in and calls himself Randy and then does Brad, which is insane to me. Gary Brown had a lot of exposure to Brad. But he is that dude. Oh, 100%. Yeah, I've watched football with him a few times. He's that's 100% accurate. That's what the police call synchronicity. Yes. I was at A&M records when we did that video. Oh, no. Oh, yes. You were around the set. You were on the soundstage, right? I painted the set. I used to have to paint one of my first jobs was painting the cyclorama. At A&M records on the soundstage. The chaplain lot, which is the coolest place on earth. Set up all of those candles that Sting ran through. Are you serious? It was. I know that's wrapped around your fingers. Yeah, that is. It's probably that synchronicity. I remember them going, get sending someone until they get 200 Christmas tree stands and 200 dowels and we'll just take the Christmas tree stand and put the dowel in it and we'll put the candle on top of the whatever. It's also where I was also there when they filmed. She's a beauty by the tubes. Yeah. Oh my God. And I remember Stan. And so what would happen with me is they would have to paint the psych. It's basically looks like a skateboard ramp to heaven. It's just flat on one side. It's so when you're when you're doing a show and you and something's in the background and it just goes for infinity, no sharp corners and no shadows. That's what the cyclorama is for the edges. It's got, well, you know, it's shaped like the deep end of a swimming pool sort of. And it was huge. It was like three stories tall and we had to paint it with a roller and these to film soul train there and the deal would always be this. They would tell us they're shooting this. This police video there, but they're going to wrap at 10 o'clock at night. And then they're shooting soul train there at noon tomorrow. So you have to paint the cyclorama flat black in between the two videos, the two things they're shooting and we go, all right. What time should we show them? They go, well, show up at nine 45 and we'll start painting at 10. Well, because it was a music video, we'd show up at 10 and they wouldn't even be halfway. Right. Sting still having tantric sex, right? Oh, yeah. Which you probably taught him on that video. He's in. Yeah, I, I do tantric masturbation, but yes, I can go on for days. But he, he's busy. They're not doing anything. I did one of the Van Halen. They wouldn't even come out of their dressing room. And so what do they tell us? Well, they tell us, well, now you guys sit around and wait, because when they're done, we need that site painted because they're still going to do soul train tomorrow at noon. And so we would end up starting at like 2 a.m. But in the meantime, we get sucked into the production. Like so that you'd be sitting around and like the set guide, like come up and go, hey man, start setting up these candles. But I don't work. Yeah, I was like, I'm on the clock at 10. I'll set up candles. So I wasn't anybody anyway. So I found myself setting up the candles for staying to run through. That's not nothing. I want to hear every video shoot you ever, eventually you have to do a spot podcast just about that. I want to know about every one of your shoes. It was kind of interesting. And then there we go to Feeway Bill. I remember them. I remember like having the production coordinator, whoever, like on the phone, you know, the landline, like talking to some chick going, yeah, well, no, we will provide the mermaid tail. We need you to get in it. No, we don't expect you to bring. No, you don't have to bring a tail. Show up in like a one piece and we'll put you in the mermaid outfit. Well, you do that and we're going to put him in a wheelchair. I mean, do you have a mermaid tail? Yeah, the stuff was all just coke fueled and on the fly. Right. And no one seemed there seemed to be an unlimited budget and there was no real clocks in the place or no windows or anything. And you just be sitting in there all all night. And then I yeah, I could remember. Yeah. I'll start finish where you say they, I think they use that stage in spinal tap when they're like loading in and they're doing the thing, the most brilliant thing in the world where he's stuck in his pod and every all that, all that kind of stuff that Harry Shearer thinks stuck in his pod. I think when they're loading in the skull and stuff, I think that's the A&M stage they were using. But anyway, that's gonna be a weird thing for me to have to explain to Tessa some days. Oh, no, they used to spend a million dollars on a music video because that was very, very important. She's like, what is that? Right. Like that's a very specific, very profitable, small slice of art. The day I moved here, I went from the airport and I was supposed to go to the video shoot for Rush Rush by. Harry, baby, come to me. Sorry. And Keanu Reeves. Keanu Reeves. And Griffith. No. And my first act of a, as a journalist for Rolling Stone in LA was to drive accidentally. I was new driver. I drove my Mazda protege onto the driveway and interrupted a shot of Keanu and Paula. So I probably cost 200 grand right there. The first moment in my life. Protege, yeah. I was hoping they'd recast Keanu for me, you know, go for it, go a different way. You're virtually interchangeable. That's a lad on love. You know how many roles I've lost to him? Hey, Matt, line five, Palm Springs. Yes. Yes. You know, it's the water levels a little high in my pool. Yes. Yeah. I'm watching that. I'm on it. Yo, I had the cover off. It was raining in it. Now I got the pump going, but I appreciate it. I like where it's at. It's the first thing I noticed in your spa wouldn't be very efficient that way. What is the danger? Well, the, the spa, there's a, there's a little pony wall between the spa. Oh, you have the spa inside the drip. Yes. And it just stops. It's right at that level. So I just took my pump and set it on top of the little pony wall in the spa, knowing if the pool gets down to that level, then we'll, we'll be good. But you're a pool guy, man. Yes, sir. What if he was just a big fan, enthusiast? No, I do, I do, I do about 40 pools a week myself. And that was just something I noticed. And I was going to call your pool guy out to you to get a pool guy. If that's where you have your water level, but no, I, my unfortunately, named pool guy, Phil does a wonderful job. Not only did I think about his name now being Phil, like with an F, but before I, I did this stupid move with him. Like you guys know that move where somebody tells you their name at a party or whenever or wherever, and you forget it seven seconds later. You feel like an idiot because you're like, it's one thing if they came back next week and you're like, Oh, sorry, what was it? Bird or bread? But like when you're walking back to the house and you forgot their name. So I went out the first day this guy showed up, the pool guy. I walked out and I was like, Hey, what's what's going on? And he's like, Hey, I'm your new pool guy. The pool contractor said, I recommend this guy. I said, OK, good. I said, Hey, my name's Adam. And he said, yeah, OK. And then he gave me his name and I was like, Hey, no, good to meet you. All right. So you're my new pool guy. Fantastic. And I started walking back in the house. I took two steps through the house. I was like, I just with this guy's name. I have no idea what's guy's name is. And now it's I can't turn around and go back and ask him his name. I took two steps away from him. And then I thought, screw it, he's a pool guy. He'll be out there cleaning the pool, all being in the house, watching TV or at work. I don't need to never be so nice. I got a tattoo his name on me. And then about 10 seconds later, I let Philly cheesesteak out the door. And of course, Phil makes a beeline for everyone. Tries to lick him down. He's jumping up on him and I go out in the back. He has no idea what's going on. And I'm just yelling, Phil, Phil, no, Phil, no, down, bad, Phil. No. And he's looking at me the whole time and Phil. I'm going to go, Phil, no, Phil, bad. And Phil and and and and soon point he goes, I'm Phil. What do you want? And I'm like, oh, yeah, I guess that kind of worked. Although I would have approached it in a way. You think I would have connected the two? I was that far out of it. But anyway, thank you, Matt. Let me just blow through these and we'll bring the great Jay Moran. How will cannabis legalization in California affect jobs? Kenny. Kenny, are you there? Line four. No. Yeah. There he is. Oh, you mean effect people working jobs? Yeah, well, I mean, like creating jobs like, I mean, you know, state development, there's been a little stagnant. I mean, you think this will give us a nice little boost? Could there be a possible negative effect? I mean, let's see. I'm all for it. The only thing I got with weed, I think. Is people think that the weed, you know what? It's a little dangerous, just like ATVs are dangerous in a weird way. More dangerous than a dirt motorcycle is because when you see the dirt motorcycle and it's two wheeled and you look at it and you have respect for it, like you go, I could get hurt on that thing. The ATVs. I'd rather not get rolled over by an ATV. You know, it's got the four. I put on a hold on, son. The the the ATVs got four wheels and you kind of look at it and you go, I could ride that in my flip flops and like board shorts. Like I think I could. And then they go, what about your two year old son? Yeah, put him up on my lap between. Put him between the gas tank and the 12 pack. We'll just go ahead and wedge him between the gas tank and we'll just we'll just putter on. And then you kind of do this move. We go, there's a little sand in here. Let's have a little let's have a little go at it. Come on. Next, you know, you eat shit. But it makes it look like and I feel like when it comes to like booze and work, I don't know that many people that go and look, there are alcoholics out there. Don't get me wrong, but I don't know that many people that are like, yeah, here. Let me people go. I'm going to have a couple of beers and then head into the office. Like because you know, it's going to I'm going to smell like beer. People will know it's going to I'm going to get tired. One word. It's going to affect my stuff. Everyone I know smokes pot. It's like I can rip a bong load and hit on it. Like I can drive that for you. You know, the people I drive better. Better. Well, so the different there is that it's not that one is more dangerous as the other. It's just one is the ATV, which is I got this and the others, the dirt bike. Where you go? Look, put your helmet on, put some boots on and play it safe. You underestimate it. Right. And everyone I know who smokes a ton of weed does the I'm fine on a couple of bong lids and going into work and I go, yeah, you're you you've forgot one of your shoes and the right ones on the left foot. And they do this argument all the time, which is like, I would have done that anyway. And I'm like, oh, then you're retarded. Yeah, I don't want you to work for me. The TTC will flush out of your system in a few hours to retardation. I'm not sure that goes away. Jokes on you, bro. I didn't forget one. So I remembered one. All right. Let's see. Frank 35. Adam, how are you? Good. What's going on? Hey, Brian and David, how are you? Hey. Mm hmm. I just wanted to get some advice from you. I've been kind of doing trying to get into voiceovers, didn't take some classes, kind of working it out going on a year now. And I wanted your advice. And when you think I should continue, if I need to maybe give it up, if I haven't had any later, hasn't. Yeah, Dawson doesn't need me. Well, hey, you know, Frank, let me let's go back. I'm going old school. Ernie Anderson, ABC, late seventies. Let's go. I want you to repeat this sentence. All right. Yes, sir. All right. So you go and after an all new love bird, someone's killing showgirls and Dan wants to know why. And after the love vote, somebody is killing showgirls and he wants to know why. No, and Dan wants to know. That's the antenna and Dan wants to know why. Tonight after the love vote, somebody's killing showgirls and Dan wants to know why. Nailed it. Perfect. You don't play the recording from the seventies, Frank, do it yourself. I'm going to say not to quit your night job. I'm not even I'm not even a day. I'm saying night, holiday and weekend job. Day job holding that both hands. Frank, where are you originally from? Well, I'm here from LA. Huh. Born and raised here in LA. I detect a little something else. Yeah. I was going to say, are you first generation? Are your parents from another place? Yeah. As a matter of fact, my parents are Olga's country. Oh, yeah. Oh, Salvadoran. I like her. Guatemala. Guatemala. I really, I really appreciate her more and more every day because she's, it's really, it's like an adult in your house who's paid to feign interest in what you're saying. Yeah. Okay. Perfect. And it was, what's that like? Nothing better. Olga, she's always doing something like unloading the dishwasher and then I'll come in and go, Olga, come here. And then she'll go, oh, good. I get to pretend to listen to this insane person while I'm getting paid and not having to bend over and do the dishwasher while he goes off on one of his rants or I hold the camera while he throws himself on the crazy white person throws himself in a swimming pool that's freezing. Yes. I got practical advice for Frank. Frank, if you're, if you're first generation, you probably do a pretty good Guadavallan accent. The Hispanic market, Hispanic marketing is huge multicultural marketing. Sure. The entire department's a big company. They're always looking for people to do voiceover with accents and stuff. It's interesting you say that, so I didn't erupt you there, Brian. It's interesting you say that because I actually just signed up to do some volunteer work reading Spanish books for the blind and reporting that. Brian, you know, workout, my craft, I don't know. Yeah, that's good. That's a good way to get reps. Find the big companies in LA, Disney, things like that and get in touch with their multicultural marketing departments. They're very big. Can I jump in here? Dawson should jump in. First of all. Now hold on. First of all. Putting on a clinic. I don't want to get racist here, Frank, but blind Spanish people are just Spanish people that can't read. Well, this is at the LA Brill Institute over there on Vermont. Well, that's what I'd like to do. Yeah, that's where I'd go too. All right, go ahead. Yeah, first of all, first of all, Frank, tonight on an all new tonight after an all new tonight after an all new the love boat, someone's killing showgirls and Dan wants to know why. Number two, you speak Spanish. Well, that's the best band of Dawson. He's the one that kind of inspired me to get that call. Five takes or less. Dawson, there is five takes. There is a lot of work in Spanish voiceover. And if you are bilingual, you could possibly work. But the best advice I can give you is get one job and keep it. If you can do that, more will come. Putting up stock up. Give us the give us the best. I'm talking one VO job. Oh, I'm sorry. Give us your best Spanish language goal. Goal. Like they just scored a goal. I can talk. Oh, are you going to talk about it or not? Goal. World peace. There we go. World peace. Like your mom, I'm just eating over a cold. All right. Yeah, go ahead. Give us the best Spanish language sounding goal. Goal. All right. You guys. See. Yeah, that ended like Sonny getting out of the pool. Thank you, Frank. Who's all on him? Sorry. She was a little rough on me. Was she not? She was quick to judge. Don't worry, mom. I quick to judge. I quick to evaluate. Quick to evaluate. Quick to judge. To love you, judgment. Quick to judge. All right. Good luck, Frank. Kevin, great. You really could see everyone's personality pushing through because how delighted was Natalia? That's a real life. That's Sonny. She was recording. Was it? She was recording her own video. Sonny was in exquisite momentary pain. How gleeful was Natalia? She was on top of the world. All right. Kevin, last call and we'll bring you to Lauren. What's going on? Hey, guys, what's going on? I called last month, talked about my web series. You guys gave me some pretty cool advice. And Adam, thank you so much. You've been liking my videos on Instagram. And I wanted to pitch you as possibly being an executive producer for my show, Comics Watching Comics. Oh, right. Because you've got nothing going on. Yeah. Yeah, Kevin, I got you. You did like the premise. I did. I just had 10,000 things doing. If it's one of those things where you just put my name on it and send me a check, I might be down with that. Well, here's the easiest EP credit you could ever hope for. Here's why. I've got some stuff written down here. I emailed August about that. Never heard back. So I thought I'd call the, go right to the source because I got a little thing called grit. But anyway, all right. So here you go. One, all I needed, all I would need is to hear in there, talk about the show on the podcast. Having to sit through this call makes it not the easiest EP credit you've ever done. That's true. That's true. You're plugged in on the show. Have you ever, in New York, sit on a panel, sit on a panel and watch the, you know, the, the comics with us? It's a hard one. And three, dialing up the, dialing up to the network contract. You have like the sharing meetings of Spikes of the World or even buddy Jimmy Kimmel seeing how they can get this show pitched to a network. He doesn't so much need a producer as far as God can. Yeah. He's looking for a comedic drug mule. Yeah. To basically mule this thing into Spike and Jimmy Kimmel. All right, keep working on it. That's a hard yes, Kevin. That's right. You see, yes or pass. Jay Moore is out there. We'll bring him in. We always love Jay Moore. David Wilde tonight, by the way, there's a live tape. If you want to go to Hollywood and see a Comedy Central show way before it's on Comedy Central, a few months before. It's thecomedyjamtickets.com, thecomedyjamtickets.com. I promise you will see not only some great comedians, but a few, a wide range of musical guests that will charm and delight you. And shoot him a tweet at Wilde about music. We'll take a quick break. We'll be right back with Jay Moore. In the spirit of Murrow, Cronkite, Broca. Here's another great moment in local news. A rollercoaster to save a deer that was stuck on an iced over river. Now that deer was unable to get off the Farmington River in Connecticut yesterday. A crowd had stopped on the side of the road when someone called police. Come on, Bambi. It's easy. Well, after several attempts to coax the deer to safety, two people went out onto the ice, get this. They crawled out there on all fours. They were eventually able to get the physically exhausted deer back on dry land and out of harm's way. Well done. Yeah. Yeah. Poor little Bambi couldn't do it all on her own. That's a great moment in local news. Now back to the Adam Carolla show. Get ready with my mom, Brian, but I was thinking as we welcome the great Jay Moore, more stories, new episodes every Monday on iTunes and Podcast One. I also want to talk about his documentary as well. As I was thinking about it, my mom would make the worst news sidekick ever because whatever you say, they have to pretend to laugh. When the weather guy kicks it back, bring your muckluck. From that time, he was on the crazy shoes in the studio. My mom would be the worst because everything would be, hey, there's a deer. I hope he brought his ice skate. How would I know that? Well, I hope we're not in for an early thaw. No, we're not. How should I know? Early what now? How should I know? Oh, big one. Oh, my God. I know him. Hold your mom. I like him. You're right. Look at the smile on your face. You are my mom. I'm a good side man. Oh, I love you so much, mama. Speaking of Lotto, there was a Lotto crime downtown last night. Oh, a Lotto. That's a pun. I like that. That's two thirds of a pun. P.U. Or on. Or on. Or Brian. That was awesome. Pick my muck out. Hi, baby. I'll see you again. I love seeing you tonight with Brian and Ingraham. I love Brian who? Dinner's not a word. Brian and what? I love seeing you at dinner the other night with Brian and Ingraham. Brian Ingraham? Brian and Ingraham. Brian and Ingraham. One to do. Now it's a leg. Oh, it's a leg. Yeah. Yeah. Blackburn and Ingraham. I love being mama got it all because I grew up not being able to nuzzle a bosom. I grew up not having the feeling that feeling that remember what you say how Lynette exploded when Sunny fell into the jump in the swimming pool. Did she live? Not an ounce of that. Did she live? My mom. No, Lynette exploded. The jury's still out. Oh, no. Oh, yeah. No, she's alive. Put my teddy in your mouth. Yeah. I got no sensation. In your titty? Too much Vicks vape, my bro. Oh, you what? You put vapor rub on? Oh, on your chest. Yeah, on my chest. On my titty. On chest. Four acts. Yeah, I like that. You're a big mama. We got to wear the nurse and smooth. I did. Yeah. Why didn't you see that through? I didn't like to wear white shoes. Oh. Oh, yeah. No, I wear slides. Slides. Jellies. Jellies? Yeah. Air Jordans. In my house coat. You got to show off those nails, because those toenails are. Woo, I'm glad you noticed, son. I'm not seeing. My boys don't notice. Champion, champion, champion, champion. You have three? Wait, you have three? I know you have the triplets. The champion triplets? Yeah, they're born of Anglewood. Anglewood? City of Champions. That's what. Brando! Oh, he knows the Lakers. We have the forums. That's right, City of Champions. Who are you, bitch? The, hey, that's Gina Graham. Oh, I'm sorry. I'm not reading last night. I'm sorry. It's great seeing you again. I'm sorry. It's no problem. I'm sorry. So Big Mama got it all? Hmm. She's fine. She's from, I mean, they're champions. You get down? You get down? What's she get, what? You get down? I get down. I get that. You get freaky. Yeah, yeah, a little bit. Yeah, I get down. Oh, okay. Sure, Big Mama. Mm-hmm. So back to champions. That you have the three, you have the three triplets, right? Well, yeah. You have Anne for me. Well, Anne is the baby. Right. He's champion. Mm-hmm. He don't have a middle name. Champion George. George. And champion Elton Campbell. Oh, wow. Okay. He's the father. Oh, from the Lakers? Wait a minute. Is that a... Nega, what other Elton Campbell you know? I don't know. What's the front Elton? That's kind of a one-off, isn't it? I'm sorry. I don't mean to... No Elton Campbell from the Pearl Vision Center, man. No, I don't know. God, you're smaller than that. I'm sorry. I'm more of like a, you know, Kiki Vandaway. You're an Elton Valor guy. Kiki throws him dick now. He was a scoring leader, white man. Larry Bird, Kiki Vandaway, Tom Chambers. These are white scorein' leaders. I fucked all of them. Really? Well, they're gonna make me less good at basketball. No. It can only help. That could not hurt. It could not... That's brand-news. It could not hurt. I didn't realize there's a big basketball fan, big mama. Huh? I didn't realize there's such a big basketball fan. Who's this now? That's Brian. Still me. Still me. It's still me. I did my mom burn glasses. She need her glasses. I'm more of like a James Worthy, Cooper, you know, Magic Johnson era kind of guy. You see, we didn't want no words. AC Green was a virgin. No, it wasn't no good. I saw him at a glory hall on a Lankishing Boulevard. Throwin' dick. Throwin' dick. It was all a ruse, a con. A con. A con of a game. We're saying it was a... Marketing. Hold on a second. I'm sorry. AC Green was a... Famous. I think a forward for the Lakers. I think you said Doug Christie. I'm sorry. There was a Doug Christie? No, AC Green was a virgin. I'm sorry. Yeah, AC Green was famously a virgin, a religious guy. Yeah. In the NBA. Given the big mama such a big Lakers fan in that era, that must have been her, no pun intended, her white whale. Yeah. And AC Green, famous virgin. Yeah. A white... A what now? A what now? The undetable Conquest. The undetable Conquest. Oh, Moby Dick. Yeah. No, no, it's a book. A what now? The big book. The movie's a novel. Alcohol is anonymous. The big book. Moby Dick. Is it Herman Melville? Yeah. Yeah. He got paid by the word. I don't know. No, he wrote a book. Yeah. About a whale. Yeah. Paid 200 days even underwater. Oh, yeah. Oh, I see. Oh, I see. He stretched it out. He stretched it out. He's just giving them away. Why am I doing these fucking hand motions? It's the audio only. I don't know. Oh! I have to like stop or I'll do it for the next three, three days. I will never leave this place. I don't... Can I ask you a question? You know I know Caesar Malone. No, the dog whisperer. Whisperer? Yeah. And he told me he was having visions of a black lab named Phillip. That's my dog. I know. Pissing on the motherfucking car. Bits because he's never closed doors no more. What the fuck is going on in this carola home? And the big mom of that had come to talk to Sonny Lynette. Who exploded? No, they didn't explode. Well, I figure speech. Yeah, Natalia and Lynette were having difficulty closing their bedroom doors and, you know, Phil was chewing a lot of... Phil a cheese thing? Cheese thing. Black lab? Black lab. Yeah. He was chewing a lot of hair brushes and stuff like that. Well, hair brushes are for spankens and Coleman hair. That's all. I think they're just for Coleman hair, right? Well... He was spanking. Well, they'll talk to Gina tomorrow that episode. See what happened with that? You know, I'm a white guy. I don't have to stop. Hold on, big mom. I got to go on a little longer with this. I just want to say this. Don't go anywhere. Who's that now? You tell me if this is going to be ready. Is that still Brian? Yeah, it's Brian. Hi, Brian. I don't think this is that racist. Let me say this thought. Every single time... I just grew up a white guy in the valley with a puss for a dad. And I was never spanked or beaten or anything, right? Every time I talked to a black comedian, it's like, my mama told me to go pull out a... Get a switch from the backyard, or she'd grab a spatula or wooden spoon, or he'd use his belt, or he'd use his fishing hat, or whatever it is. And I thought, maybe we should just invent something. You know what I mean? Wainted properly, ergonomically gripped, you know, instead of confusing the kids, you know, because there could be some danger here. Like, you grab a sprinkler key and cause some real damage. Long darts. And there was like the thing... There was always this controversial... The kid would go grab us... You should go on a wire. The mom would go tell them to grab a switch, her dad would tell them to go grab a switch, and they'd get one that was too thin, and then they'd have to go back and get a bigger switch. What if we just came out of the beating stick? That was like, a side dog. A standardized... Yeah, get Dr. Phil to, you know, have series... Stand side dog on an endorsed... Yeah, ergonomic. Ergonomic. Get the surgeon general on it. You said muckalucks earlier. Like, we have muckalucks, and we don't have a standard government approved, all right, you want the government in your fucking business all day, you libtard fucking Hollywood faggot. So, Ray, why don't Randy work? Yeah. No, but I don't even get to start it on fucking your buddy Brad, taking my Randy to the neighborhood. I got to meet for a doctor. I hit my cousin Salo, A. Grant, because I took Virginia Tech to meet Florida State. And Buzz Williams actually said he'd cover it. We called Brad Randy before we knew you, though, Randy. I don't know what to say. And before Abraham, I am, bro. I get hammered. Me and the man up top, bro. Really? Buzz Williams covered that A. Grant, by the way. Oh, who, A. Grant, you owed for Virginia Tech? The guy called Virginia Tech, he went through some fucking crazy charity, because cousin Sal and Brad went A. Grant and the Hole. They're like, oh, trust me, take the over. They're going to beat Virginia Tech, they're going to beat Florida State Salmonholes, dude. They got fucking crushed. Yeah, I don't follow the college game as closely as you did. I would have taken a bet, but I passed out. My son said he's verbally commuting to Clemson. By the way, after the big win, the big championship win. Yeah. Cousin Sal and A. Grant and the Hole, the buzz. Well, you don't want to be in debt, just buzz, bro. Yeah, no, I don't want to be in debt to the buzz. I do want to tell Blacksburg, Virginia, dude. He's a bad dude. I do want to tell this, that Jay Moore has got himself TCL flat screen TV over here. That's right. What'd you do right? Mm-hmm. Let me tell you something. They're the actual best TVs. And the fact that I got one from you guys. Yeah. Ask Gary and I'm like, my eyes, I'm like, who's TCL? Like, it's so big. It's so big. I'm like, who's TCL? They go, it's yours. I'm like, that's funny. And they have to convince me for like 10 minutes. I'm like, this is amazing. I know. We're very generous over here. So go to tclusa.com and check them out. Great stuff. And it's all preloaded with all the stuff. It's got Roku built in, it's got all the apps. 4Ks. It's pretty glorious. Enjoy the hell out of that. Jay Moore. You're going to sell me, man. I'm like, I know exactly. Jay, can we talk a little about your documentary? Yeah, of course. So you're doing one on the singer from Bad Brains, right? HR. It's called Finding Joseph. There's a clip of the trailer up on my website. I'll send it to you. I think Gary has it. Gary, I sent it to you. I watched it. Oh yeah. And I'm into it. And I, is it complete? Is it out? Can we send? It's completed. And there's screenings. And what you do is you hope somebody, you know this, you hope somebody buys it. Right. And covers all your expenses that you've got other people to do for you. So you pay those people back so they'll stop calling you. Was this your thing? I mean, no. James Lathos in New Jersey, I was doing the Bergata and he came back stage and he goes, I'm doing this Bad Brains documentary. And I would love it if you, I could interview for it. And then I said, or I could do the VO for the whole thing. And then I saw what he had. I said, or why don't we go in this together? Because I think the story is Joseph's mental health, not like just blowing the band. And the fact that he went so bananas and everybody in the documentary, that's saying, yeah, something happened to him, man. Like they're sweating out tickets to the Canyon Club, like the Minor Threat Reunion. And he's in a boxcar happy. That's what fascinated me. Bad Brains is, well, very influential punk band, but like the first basically black punk band that I'm sort of aware of. I mean, punk and DC. And so everyone, whenever they're talking about who influenced you, Green Day or whoever, it's always Bad Brains always, always comes up. But I didn't know about the mental health part of the whole thing. So the lead singer is what? He's got a lot of different diagnosis. He kept hearing God telling him to leave Bad Brains and go do reggae music. Because the birds sing more sweetly and the grass grows greener. And he would do it. And he's stage name is HR, Human Rights. And he would do a reggae album. And it's like, perfect. It's just like a great accessible good. Like it should be just be mainstream, great reggae album. And then they go back to Bad Brains and they'd crush. And on stage, like you saw in the clips, he's just like channeling. He's not like a regular frontman. There's no, it's like Clapton or Buddy Guy and Guitar. There's no like real thought. He's just present. And it's, he just kept getting a little worse, a little worse, and a little worse. Because as you know, mental health is never really spoken about. It's a huge stigma. And then what's great about the documentary is members of Bad Brains, one of who is his actual brother, they're like, they just, oh, we just thought you were a jerk. Like we know you were ill. Is he schizophrenic? I don't want to say it on the air in case I say it incorrectly, because not fair to him, but yes. Well, it sounds like usually when you're in your, I don't know, early-ish 20s and you start hearing people telling you to do things. And when I would ask people like Duff or, you know, just guys that I knew from my podcast to do, to sit down for interviews, they couldn't wait to just talk about their first time seeing Bad Brains walk on stage and watching HR and the guys. And then all the guys in that documentary that are like, yeah, but then he got like weird. I'm like, when I watched it, what James Lathos had assembled and already filmed, and this has been like his life's work and all of his money, I'm like, these guys look like miserable dicks. Like HR is like jumping off the Santa Monica pier. Right. And just waving at people like happy. Like he's something, something's like magical about this guy. So we can look forward to this. Well, I'll tell you what. So should screening February 15th, TBD for the actual theater, because it's you wanted it to be the right place, you know, sure, you know, very well, as I know. So I, I didn't even know we were going to talk about this. I would have been much more prepared. Well, can we send people to a website or your site if they want to find out information about this? Yeah, jaymore.com and let's just have like 20 people go to the screening on February 15th. And you can choose whoever you wish. The live dates, by the way, shifting gears here for a second for Jaymore South Point Hotel. That's in Las Vegas. That's January 20th and 21st. And then you can go to jaymore.com for any information about the screenings at Bad Brains, live shows, podcasts, whatever you need. Yeah, buddy. Get it on. Get it on. Get it on. Get it on. All right. So should we do a little news and we will have Jay sit in and have some fun. Absolutely. Gina, would you do this for me? Could you do, can we do a super truncated short version of like you're the anchor and Big Mama Got It All is the side person because Adam's mom, as he said, would be a terrible side person. Sure. But you can just make it up now. Oh, we'll do it now. Big press conference for Donald Trump today. He had a lot to say regarding the hacks from the Russian government. Yes. Come on camera. Not right now. No. I'm sorry. You're shouting offstage. I'm on camera. Come on camera. Cut to a two shot. I'm sorry. As I was saying, it might be great friends with Vladimir Putin, but he's still vehemently denied. Get my powder out of my dress. We are alive right now. Is that my bowling ball bag? It's a Simpson's bowling ball. Big Mama, we're alive right now on the air. It ain't my, go do your thing. Russians hacks, I'm Trump shit. Vladimir Putin. I'm fine. Can you cut to commercial technical difficulties? Enjoy this new TCL television. Thank you. Just thank you. You want to do that. I like that. Brian, you've met my mom maybe once, right? Yeah, I have actually. A worse person for that job. I mean, maybe someone in a coma or, you know what I mean? She could do a club activity or speak at least. But I was talking about people with the baseline ability to speak. Yeah, she's probably the worst. Hold on. Let's not jinx the person in the coma. Number one, number two, there's a context to a coma. That's true. Like they're unable to speak. Yeah, they have a feeding to it. You take Brian's word for it, bro. I don't know. That's the best idea I've ever seen. Randy. Brian's on porno, jacking off the step mom porn. That's not the guy you want motherly advice from. He said, You know what? He's a pure kid, though. He don't fuck around. No, he's what you see is what you get. Yeah. Yeah, that's it. That's a lot of. He's got a magnolite in his jeans, bro. Randy speaks his roots. Well, downstairs. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He speaks for me. You know that? That's why I shaved his head so they would match. Wow. You mean his dork and his head would match? How do you know he's got that much in his pants? Probably go to the stamina when he got it all the time at ballies. Oh, you go to ballies? The Y burnt out. Just has balls. The one in Long Island. Brian, you remember that? We were there with who? We were with the kid from the fucking Saved by the Bell kid. My job, my gosseler, whatever the fuck his name is. Oh, really? The kid's doing fucking diamond push-ups in the steam room. And he gets a fuck. He gets rocked up. And Brian got all bonered out. I'm like, bro, that's inappropriate. But he goes, well, fuck you. You're shaving, Warwick. I'm like, I can shave it a fucking steam room. And now I've got a boner. I'm fucking hard. So, but you're not gay, right? We're all straight. Hell no. Guys, it just felt good. Hell no. Just felt good. We were fucking on a hammer, bro. I'm a mushroom in the steam room. I'm like, it fucking looks like Wizard of Oz in there, dude. Flying monkeys and everything. So, Gosling's doing push-ups in there? No, Gossler. Gossler. Gosling's in there. I would have fucking had a bone in my ass. I didn't even give a shit. Yeah, yeah, but not gay. No. I'm willing to learn, though. Who cares? Yeah, I get it. If there's gonna be another fucking Bartles and James 12 pack, who gives a shit? Right, right. Where's fucking Ray with the van? Oh, Ray with, yeah. Where's the plane? Lancaster, like eight minutes. Yeah, we're gonna get Ray in the van out here. I was telling the kid outside, Matthew. He's a fan of yours. I said, I listen to your podcast so much, you don't know how much personal shit you give out. And I just put it in this little special pie in my head for big mama like, yo, oh, you dog, Phillip, cheese steak. Yeah, we had to. Black. We used to go to Lancaster and clean it. What happened to Molly? We cleaned, oh, we had to put her down. No, I know, but then what happens? Why'd I put that body? Well, they cremated her. And then they gave her ashes back, and they put it in this little box. This looks like a cigar box. Okay, you smoke the cigar? No, it's just, well, yeah. No, I will. Not this, it didn't come with cigars in it, came with the dog in it. With the ashes? The ashes of the dog. Maybe Molly died because she smoked so much. No, no, this is probably my fault. I was telling these guys, I don't know how you realize what a position I put you in, because I was listening to the first big mama. I know you knew it was what I apologize. I get mad at the connection with you. Look at the smile in the face, I love you, Adam. And you were in a position of, and I listened to it a couple months ago, you have to be so frustrated, but never disagree. And I don't even know you realize the high wire act you're doing, and it's such a brilliant skill set that was a real, no, no. For big mama? But you have to go, no, no, and get exacerbated, like, fuck, you're not even fucking close, but, and, but you're so happy that she has your attention. I do love that she's burning calories. Most people would be like, no, no, the dog did not smoke. Yeah, I'm, I'm, any, any attention is good attention. It's something you realize that specific skills, like, I don't know, I've never, I've never seen it before. Maybe it's a feeling or maybe it's repetition or maybe it's a feeling. Just fucking blow the guy, get over it. You're never dressed like you did, really. I'm telling you, Gary, sales shows on the, we do sales on the internet. If you can, do you know what Brad looks like? No, I've actually never done it. If you can find that and have Brad and show Brad just talk a little bit, you will see Randy. But he hasn't talked about his A grandiose buzz. Yeah, he's probably not going to talk about that, Randy, but the idea that we dubbed him Randy is a weird, it's his nickname for no good reason. All right, wait a minute. We'll do the news. First, I'll tell you guys about the life lock. That's right. Cyber threats, man. Bad in 2016 now, even more in 2017. Protect yourself. Identity theft, America's fastest growing crime. I have life lock. Natali has it, Sonny has it, Lynette has it. Everybody at the Corolla House has it. Why? Because they're out there. God knows who's hacking these days. Who's not hacking? It'd be a shorter list. Need to protect your identity. Life lock scans hundreds of millions of transactions each second and they'll detect if the information's being used. They'll send you an alert. No one can prevent all identity theft or monitor, all transactions, all business, but life lock, you have the best protection available. And it starts at just $9.99 a month. That's right. Under $10 a month for a little something called Peace of Mind, it's the best. It's life lock. And again, you're doing all the shopping 2017 online. Why not do it with a little something called Peace of Mind, a little life lock. Dawson. Go to lifelock.com or call 1-800-LIFE-LOCK and use promo code ATOM. That's ATOM for 10% off your Life Lock Ultimate Plus membership. Call 1-800-LIFE-LOCK. 1-800-LIFE-LOCK. All right. Be the guy in the left. Now, please be the guy in the left. Oh, it has. It has. I'm actually not sure what they're talking about. I was just... No, it's just Sal's doing his football show from my car warehouse on Sunday. Brad is Randy on the left. And it's... It is the guy in the left. Oh, of course. That's a beard guy. No, that's Scott. Oh, so it has to be... Yeah. And if you... Gary, you can scroll around till he says something. You got it? He's about to say a little something. Go ahead. To us, Quailoots. All right. Yeah, I would have liked Quailoots. He didn't ever try Quailoots. They were great. Yeah. No, I wanted Quailoots. Bob Dole. Oh. He went in there and made him stop doing this thing, blah, blah, blah. How was the other Quailoots? He liked Quailoots. Oh, he ended up... No, yeah. It was just a pharmaceutical thing. Oh, really? Yeah. Interesting. Bob Dole. Wow. Let's see what else. All right. What else? Oh. If that's not Randy, that's Randy. Immediate observation. Yeah. Brad talks exactly like a homeless person. He's got a little... Play that exact little... And imagine it's a guy sitting down outside Starbucks. It's got a little dusting of that. Is he messing around or that's his vibe? Oh, no. No, that's him. They stopped making Quailoots because of Bob Dole. No, they stopped making Quailoots because Steve Martin sold out the Hollywood ball waving his fingers around. Huh? What, no? It's not making Quailoots. No, you're right. That's exact. Steve Martin sold out the Hollywood ball going, Hey! Hey! waving his fucking hand in the way. He's like, this is amazing. He's got a fucking bunny rabbit ears on. We're high. It's weird. It's so non-steva. But Martin, I... It's right. That's all you would hear as you're walking into the Starbucks, looking down, walking with purpose that they outlawed Quailoots because of Bob Dole. You might give a knowing, yeah, and then you'd walk in and on the way back, your figure is going to hit you up for some change. But that's a very, very... But whenever I think of Randy Warwick, I think about Brad. I got to meet this Brad fellow. I think you may both catch on fire. There might be like a phone or you could arrange where like Warwick's an actual dude in Brad, because I don't think Warwick's on Brad's radar. After the aluminum foil on his windows in his apartment, you could probably call him up, yeah. But tell me about Bob Dole. That's how he lost his erections. You do Quailoots, bro. That's like snorting out of all. It'll kill your dick a little bit. There's my brand-new rock top. He's clean, bro. He just likes to jack off in a steamroll and fucking go, but what is his name? Mark Pogosler's. There was Diamond Push-off. That's true. You got fucking Gina right across you with a giant rack. She's a fucking gorgeous Italian chick. But you know what? She's a good girl now. Good girl. Keep your fucking meat hooks off. Keep your meat hooks off. No, we've never. Fucking girl. All the snaps if you look at Gina the wrong way. All right, man, though. Should we do some news? Oh, can we? Give me the news with grad. News with Gina grad. Breaking fire with all those crazy Trump tweets. Give me news with Gina grad. Troubled in the Middle East. Celebrity drunk meltdown. See news with Gina, Gina. The news with Gina grad. Well, President Obama gave his final speech to a crowd of nearly 20,000 people in his hometown of Chicago Tuesday night. He touched on everything from ISIS to climate change to his wife and kids. Couple of highlights for you. In the first clip, Obama addresses how the transition will go down. In 10 days, the world will witness a hallmark of our democracy. No, no, no, no, no. The peaceful transfer of power. From one freely elected president to the next. I committed to President-elect Trump that my administration would ensure the smoothest possible transition, just as President Bush did for me. He is a great orator. I mean, the magnitude of that, though. His he gives great speeches. I love the first 10 minutes. And I just sort of sat there and went, oh, eventually we're going to get into race and we're going to spend a bunch of time on race. And then he's going to explain to us why we all need a whole bunch of work. And then I hate that part. Didn't he say at one point, and I couldn't find a clip of it, but didn't he say like, it's hard. Yeah, okay, we have a way to go. But aren't we much better off now than we were 20, 30 years ago in terms of race? Well, here was the- Here's the problem. He has this- Well, no, he did. No, we're not better off. No, we're not better off. When he had a weird- He had a weird- He had this weird position, which is he has been sort of the custodian of race in a weird way, because as the first black president, it's been a little bit of the custodian of this for the last eight years. So he can't really say it's gotten worse on my watch. He has to say it's gotten better. And what he did, which is, again, these are, I think, tactical and smart. You know, he didn't say things have gotten better since I've been here for eight years. He was smart. He went back 30 years. He went like, things are better the last decade and the decade before that. And you know, if you're going to get back 30 years, then no one can argue with, of course we're better off now than we were 30 years ago. My thing is, we're- Oh, it's not me. If you poll Americans, I don't know, I don't know statistically how you do this. But if you ask most people, are we better off or worse off? They say worse off because of what's been going on in the news or Ferguson or whatever it is. That's their opinions. I don't know how else to quantify it other than what people feel like or think or something. I think you're right from the perspective of every time they ask, how's Congress doing? It's always 80% disapproval. And it's always- It should be. But no, it should be. But also the race question, Adam. No, I'm not saying that. Later, black people asked, you're going to get a 100% column filled with way better. And you're going to get a 100% column filled with, it's a mess. I don't- There's a divining rod. Well, Gary can figure it out. People are so tired of talking about it. What I'm saying is, is there is a questionnaire- What you're called a dystotian, he's the fucking president. You could have called it out. I didn't mean like a mop. Lincoln better. And I'm selling me a trash can with wheels on it. I meant the guy's throwing some fucking sausage at them. They look better, dude. Lincoln's looking at him crying, dude. What I'm saying is, is they have a thing where they ask Americans how are race relations. Okay. I don't know how they do it, but they just do it. And they're worse off now, according to them, than they were. So it's not quite the Congressing where they always go, oh, it's always horrible. It's like the presidential approval thing. I don't know what it's always based on. Obama's got a very high approval rating right now, and then there's sometimes where they do it like after Benghazi, it's down to this, and now it's up to that. And that's, it's not superficial, it's just the way people feel. So he's tired of turning. Yeah. Everybody likes the black guy when he's leaving, of course. Yeah, especially the custodian. He got his way out. Like, good, I love that guy. There we go. I love him. His contract's expiring. I fucking love, he's my favorite receiver. Here's the thing though, what I'm trying to say to you is if you ask why America is race better now than it was, you'll get near 100%, of course. No, I don't think so. I think white people are freaked out because I think the news is we're bombarded with Ferguson and cops being shot and rioting and blah, blah, blah. And all the video of the black people being shot and sitting beside the past seats. I don't always sound like I'm in disagreement with you at all. No, it's all right. Because the story immediately after that story is it's either a hoax or you didn't see what they didn't record. And I'm speaking, I don't make assumptions, this is why, because it causes disharmony here. Like, I think the aggregate is so like, I can't, I have no idea what it's like to be a black person. I don't know black people and if I have to hear this shit one more time it doesn't. Big mama got it all, it's not black. Race has never been better. Oh, there you go. Wow. He's my man, when Moses. Oh, he's a great hurdler. And he was black, he was race and race. Oh, I never thought about that. Middle name would jump. So, the power of what Obama said, like the transfer of power peacefully. Great. That's like, that hit, I just wrote down amazing and I slid over to Gina like holy shit, like a guy that once said, Lil John, you're fired. He's going to be the fucking president. I was incredible. Teresa Judice, you're fired. Brett Michaels, you're the champion. God, I had a conversation with her in a van for about an hour once and it was mind-numbing. Would you talk about shoes? Her husband Joe. Jail time. We talked football, college football. And I was trying to explain her what a corn husker was. A lot of Rutgers talk. It was incredible. What? A lot of Rutgers talk. You're the best. She's the only choice I think. Because down the show everything's all right. I don't mind, I thought it was a great speech. I just don't like the part where we go race and then we explain everybody has a whole bunch of work to do individually. That's not my point though because you're a white guy. If you were like fucking George Wallace was going to be like that was the best part of the speech. I got, I got, he's funny comedian. And what not? He wears those Kango hats. I fucking love George Wallace. I, I brought, I had this funny moment where I brought Olga in again. Stop unloading or loading the dishwasher. Stop working. Come on here. I wonder, and I said, there's this part where he said, look, we can't paraphrase him. But you know, if we're not, if we're going to stop letting brown people into education for brown people or something. And I said, who's doing this? What are you talking about specifically in terms of not wanting brown people to be educated or what have you? Again, like not living in a racist country. I'm all for explaining that we all have it in our hearts and we all need to do a better job. I reject. I think there's a handful of people that are racist and I think there's the rest of us that essentially try to get along and do what's best for everyone and don't care. And also this country, as you look at most people, you know, when he does this, you know, you don't want to be fearful of people that look different than you. This country is one big pile of people that look different than you. You can't walk through an airport or go through a major city of it. If you can't handle people look different than you, you can't leave the house because you encounter people that look different than you all day, every day. That's pretty much what we're used to here. He did this thing about brown people and getting in. I think he was laying a little groundwork for Democrats and Hispanics and we look, they're going to take over, so they're going to choose one side or the other. Let's have them choose us. The Hispanics, not the Democrats. Yeah, the Hispanics, but we want them to be Democrats. So there was a little the tilling of the soil of that and maybe Gary'll find that. I think it was about 19, 20 minutes in. But, Jesus Christ. But hold on. I called Olga in, who's from Guatemala, and I said, Olga, what, how do you experience this country? And she said, I've been here for 32 years and I've never experienced any. I worked for a woman who was crazy and she was a bitch and she quit, but that's because the chick was just a crazy bitch, not because she was Guatemalan or brown. Not yet. She's on paid vacations and paid leave. But I said, honestly, really, what do you experience? And she said, I've not. She's a female. She's a single mom. She's Guatemalan and or what we would think, you know, Hispanic or something brown. And she'd been here for 32 years and she just said, I had to work for a crazy bitch and I quit. But other than that, nothing. And then I said to her, I said, oh, you, I want you to tell me this then. Riddle me this and you guys all answer, see if we can figure this out at home. Because I never, I never stopped hearing about socioeconomic dad and down and help up and hand out and all this kind of stuff. I said, and there's people in the have nots and the struggling and everything else. I said, look Olga, who do you know who have you known that are either, and you guys can all answer this question. Think back on everyone you've met, everyone you know who are either a couple or single or as an individual or even as a extended family like the grandpa and the mom and the aunt and the niece and the daughter and whatever. Who do you know in this country since you've been here who you would typify is very hard working and pretty focused and not irresponsible. Like didn't take their paycheck on Friday and go straight to the dog track, but like went, hey, put some of that money away, save it, save it for a rainy day or we shouldn't buy swizzle sticks. We should buy, we should, we should put our money and buy health insurance or whatever. Like who do you know who a works hard, not an on a genius or not gifted just gets up on money and goes to work, just works hard and is responsible or you would call responsible. Not saying you can't order a pizza or go to Disneyland on occasion, but not stupid. Gambling, whatever, buying lottery tickets or substance abuse or something like that. Who do you know in your entire life and go back to high school and come forward to today that is hard working and responsible as a family or as an individual who is not making it, who's not not saying rich, just not cutting it, not being out, not being able to no insurance, not being able to transportation, not being able to travel or do whatever they have to make ends meet, keep the lights on in their house or apartment. Can you think of a motivated person that you would typifies, he's hardworking, focused person, responsible, couple, family, whole families or just individuals that in this country, since you've been in this country on this planet, that have not been able to cut it, that have not been able to make it, that are the have nots that can the latchkey, whatever, it's a fall between the cracks. Who do you know? Because I started thinking about it as like, I don't know. I know guys like Ray from high school that were, yes, my buddy Chris got ran over by VW Bug intentionally. That was an accident. And Randy, you were aiming for him on PCA. He's like, I'm a VW Bug, I guess he had the fucking windshield, I'm scrouching down. He got his $13,000, I remember, he was in the hospital for a week, but he got his $13,000 from the insurance company and I said, Chris, you'll never see $13,000 in your life, you'll never see it in your life. You need to take that money, put it by like a stando, put a down payment, he went to Maui and did blow three months and got run off the island and came back. I was in Chris one. He made that decision. But who do you know that's all think about it in this country that has not been able to get it together. I don't mean again, I don't mean drives a Cadillac or BMW or something or lives in a double gated community. I just mean getting along, comfortable, not the have nots. Can we think of a person? I couldn't think of anybody. No, I don't want to personally, of course, hard work and all that stuff, like you said, is probably the biggest key to success. I will point out the fallacy of me saying that or you bringing it up is the vast, vast majority of my interactions in my life, the totality of my life, and probably all of ours is middle class-ish white people. So I can't speak for people who have a harder path. Hold on, hold on, hold on. Of course, my concerns. This always gets quantified. He's asking you to represent that. Okay, well in that case, no. You're like, who, what, Black Puerto Rican? He's saying who do you know? No, he's asking who do you know in your life, which couldn't capture that. That's your life. Okay, I want to point that out. Even here, like for friends, it gets like parsed. We're all on the same page and we're like, well, I only know you. But Jay, it does sound ignorant of us. Yeah, everyone I know who works hard is successful because I feel like you're couching this in a way. Not, nothing, no, hold on, let me finish. I didn't say it yet, so you can't have this reaction because it actually has to come out of my mouth yet. Keep going. Because we're conditioned to have like a sort of cool, but I don't know if Adam could have possibly expressed or explained like I was, I've never been quiet that long in my life. You blew my fucking mind the way you, from the moment you were born through high school, through college, if you went through, you know, 20s, 30s, 40s to write today, who in your life, your life, do you know that breaks their fucking ass to work and is not irresponsible, that isn't making it. Well, I specifically put that to single Guatemalan mom Olga because I was curious in her world. Perseverance is going to be. Also, Brian was right then, I apologize. No, she's asking us. She has relatives that are from Guatemala who are here and she's like, I don't know anybody who works hard. She's loyal to her. Her uncle invited that fucking pan float. So that's how I'd say. I just don't want to hear the constant chorus of these people are up here. Those people are down there and the people up here have jurisdiction and dominion over these other people. Surf versus end. This is part, yeah, the part where he said, so. While the brown people argue over scraps, we retreat into our enclave, our rich enclave. That's not. That's equally. Millions of listeners. And I think your question is a standalone for each individual listener, white, black, pen stripe. Well, I don't care if he's pen stripe. You know what? I would really, I would care if he's pen stripe. I want to meet that guy. I would like to know. Now look, obviously. Fascinating question. People get hooked on drugs and get people get hit by street cars. I mean, I'm not saying that. I'm saying just the person that's out there working. Yeah, you could not have teed this up more perfectly for a more fucking spot lit question, a signal in all this fucking Mishigas that's going around like, who do you know that gets up goes to work every day. That's not irresponsible. That breaks the rest, busts the rest, does it, doesn't have a gambling problem, doesn't have a drug addiction and just fucking acts responsibly. That is not quote unquote making it right. I don't know. Or is through the crap now making it is always a sliding scale. Like you and I want more and there's people that want what you and I have and there's people that want what we all. But it's fascinating question. I thank you, Randy. You got it. Sorry, Gary. Well, he's looking at the only the only 20 minutes in or 21 minutes. But like a real progress that we've made. We know it's not enough. Our economy doesn't work as well or grow as fast when a few prosper at the expense of a growing middle class and ladders for folks. It's not the expense. Middle class. It's not the expense. That's the economic argument. But stark inequality is also corrosive to our democratic idea. Well, the top 1% has amassed a bigger share of wealth and income. Too many of our families in inner cities and in rural counties have been left behind. The laid off factory worker, the waitress or health care worker who's just barely getting by and struggling to pay the bills convinced that the game is fixed against them, that their government only serves the interests of the powerful. That's a recipe for more cynicism and polarization in our politics. And there are no quick fixes to this long term trend. I agree. Our trade should be fair and not just free. But the next wave of economic dislocations won't come from overseas. It will come from the relentless pace of automation that makes a lot of good middle class jobs obsolete. You go through this, Gary? Yes. The people that laid off the factory workers. We're talking about the brown people going to school and the factory workers and waitresses or white people too. Like there's a fatal flaw in this. And look, I'll tell you the fatal. 11% of the population is black. Then the vast overwhelming majority of the people President Obama is referring to are white people. Well, my sister in Kentucky, she's got fired from a fucking, I'm not even joking, a bait shop. Like, yeah, we got to cut that. Like, nobody, there's nobody brown within five towns. How much fishing is going on in Kentucky? Oh, bro, you didn't even know. It's crazy. Five thousand no fucking shows done in the skies. One of the, my biggest issue is in the entirety of the speech, we've got to do a better job. The government needs to do a better job. Um, the, to me, the premise is flawed. The government, first off, you are the government and have been the government for eight years. The government is not going to fix what, what you're talking about. What the government is going to do is hopefully create something and get out of the way a little bit and have some opportunity. But in terms of what's going on, you need to fix it with your family. That's not the government. The government can't fix what you're talking about. You keep talking that the government can fix it. The government can't. And I, at least I've never really seen evidence of the government fixing what he's talking about, what we need to fix. The government can't fix what they're supposed to fix. Right. This is too far a bridge. Well, and actually this doesn't make any sense because the one thing, as you say, and a lot of people agree with you, the one thing he could say that would empower the individual, he won't say. He won't talk about family staying together, folks on education and whatever, wherever you come from, let's get on with it. But the one you guys get off your ass and yeah, it sucks to get up at four o'clock in the morning, but that's when the fucking job starts. Well, the thing I object, the thing I don't like is everybody. I'm going to get out of really racist. If I'm a nine year old, if I find how old's champion, which champion? Well, the triplets rise. I was triplets. Oh, I was triplets. I was on birthday June 5. June 5. I played a number. What I'm saying, you played a lot. He's 34. Okay. There. What I feel is 34 year old champion sitting at home with the house of respite. So I don't know. I'm not a champion, but champion does champion. George got one. Oh, so one of the champions does. Yeah, you know that. Okay. I know it. I'm just saying some of the honest, I mean, I heard every show. I don't want that guy sitting home going while the president explains that we're all a little bit racist. We got a lot of work to do and it's inside of all of us and we need to correct it because I'm sitting there going. I make some pollock jokes and some black jokes, but no, I don't need to correct my racist as it pertains to race, my behavior. You tweak it, but not correct. Yeah. Perfectly fine getting along and neither is my son or my wife. And my wife, my wife, parents are from Italy. Like, I don't know even know what she is. There is running water that is okay and healthy for you in every single park in the United States of America. That's free water. Yeah. Like, let's start with just water fountains. We got whatever. There is affordable housing. There's benefits. You go into the military, you pay for college. There is social security. Everything that's donated was donated by a rich white guy. Like, you know what? Where is the argument for like, and when's the middle class going to donate a fucking library to a university? Well, what I also don't like is they always go, this one guy, this one guy is making all the money while all the guys, the 500 people that work at his factory are struggling. It's like, how about the guy who built the factory, who employs 500 people? Can we give just a little tip of the cap to that guy? Why is that guy the enemy? It's what I'm saying. Why is he the bad guy? The guy who created the 500 jobs. Is he exploiting the workers? That's one thing. But if he's just, he's the boss who built the company. He's a comfortable guy. He's got a housekeeper named Olga. He had to run over a fucking dishwasher to talk to her. He said, riddle me this. Yeah, she didn't even know what that means. All right, Gary, sorry. There's two. There's one about education and brown people, which I thought was weird. And then there's another one about the scraps. And by the way, when did it become okay to say... Use your computer. You can use your, if you got your clip, you can poke me in here. When did it become okay to say brown people? You don't want to say brown people, right? Because we have to make a definition between black and Hispanic. And we don't want to, I don't know. Minority is too great. I call them now why. Well, let's just listen. Let's see. I call them all the... If we're unwilling to invest in the children of immigrants just because they don't look like us... Hold on. Who said that? Who said that? When is... Is... We're on... We're on... He said, he did say if. And I'm... In all fairness... I... I... I throw... He's in this like purgatory, like where he's not... Fine. He's kind of making the statement that he'll walk around. But they don't look like us. Who does the... Is that this country? We don't want to invest in education for people who don't look like us. No, he's probably talking about a worst case scenario, right? If there's a United Negro College fund, by definition, there is program to identify somebody who doesn't look like you. That can... All right. Look at every fucking SEC football player... Yeah. Ever. Listen, champion could have been out on that field last Monday night. Who... What happened Monday? Oh, the championship. Yeah, championship. The game they named it. Did you see Lane Kiffin on that sideline? Lane Kiffin? Did you see him on the sideline? Yeah, I guess I did. No, you didn't. Oh, no, I didn't. He was in Englewood. Oh, he's in Englewood. Where was he? Oh, Lane Kiffin. Yo, I'm sorry. Oh, me? Oh, my God. Fuck me, Lane Kiffin. We went to Acida, Gabbo. Oh, you did? Yeah. I didn't know that Lane Kiffin... Did you go to film school? I think it was Monty Kiffin. Oh, Monty Kiffin. He was a different guy. He was falling and looked like the pelican from my army. Yeah. Yeah. Boy, he can run... I mean, she runs deep. She really doesn't want football. I'm sorry. The rest... Eight places, baby. We'll rewind it a little and we'll get into the... There was 16. I fucked them off. Eight places left. All right, here we go, Gary. Just hit play there. To invest in the children of immigrants, just because they don't look like us, we will diminish the prospects of our own children because those brown kids will represent a larger and larger share of America's workforce. Can you fucking imagine a white president saying those brown kids? That's what I'm saying. What is this investment? I didn't know it was a municipal bond when I look at a Mexican child go, oh, let me get 14 on that one. Look. Long shares. You guys... I like... I like... Look, I watched first 10 minutes. I said this is excellent. I watched the end. I said this is excellent. But I kept saying there going, when is this part where we stop and go, we've come a long way, but let's face it, we got a long way. Get that yourself and back. And I would accept this. There are certain... Calm down. Certain pockets in this country of racist people, it's a very small percentage, who act out in a racist way that does not represent the vast... This part where we all need to look into a mirror, where we all need to change, where we all need to grow in a ball. But also, I'm talking about you. Relax. I reject that. I absolutely do. And I'm insulted by it. And as every other American, whatever color you are, who goes out there and tries to be even-handed, fair and generous and philanthropic and whatever, your whole life, why do we have to keep looking, finding a mirror and seeing a Klansman looking back at us? All right, we got one more... We got the scraps clip. That's one of them. I use it in my house. Sorry, my computer's going a little... Takes a dump. If every economic issue is framed as a struggle between a hard-working white middle class and an undeserving minority, then workers of all shades are going to be left fighting for scraps while the wealthy withdraw further into their private enclosures. He's right. I don't even know what the fuck he's talking about really anymore, but all right. That's the act... I'm not joking. That's the actual first time I ever heard that argument posed. I thought it was the upper 1% versus all of us. And he, for the first... That's the first time my ear heard middle classes in this battle with low... We're fighting for scraps. What do you call it? With poor. Yeah. Carlin nailed it. They have all the money, do very little work. Then there's the middle class that do all the work for a little bit of money, and there's the poor to scare the shit out of the middle class, make sure they keep showing up at all those jobs. And he says jobs, I guess, disgusting. All right. I'll take your thoughts onto your... I like the speech. I just don't like when everything is broken down and there's brown and race and there's people... I'm like skinned in. We're not gonna... The idea that in 2017 we reject people in this country that look different than us. Nobody's... I don't know anybody, everyone's doctor is something who looks different than them. Or is this just a thinly veiled cough cough trump? And then there's that... Yeah, of course it is. I mean, it's not something we're sub-tweeting going on. It is. But listen, just say it then. I mean, because don't lump me in with all the entire group. I was the first black president, and now we have the first orange president. I just call it... Yeah, just call it out. Yeah, what it is. By the way, did you guys notice that one of the children was missing? No, Sasha at the event. Do you know why? No, I didn't notice that. Just Malia and there's a clip, but we can skip if you want. Very heartfelt words to his kids about just how proud that they've made him and wonderful words to his wife. But only one of the daughters was sitting there because like the Corollas, Sasha didn't finish a paper so she couldn't come to the speech. Oh, really? Why would she want to go? Well, I could choose a school, like a, you know, a way school, but she still had work to do and she did not come to the speech. Wow, drawn a line of sand. Just like Adam Lannette would do with the kids. What a punishment. I'm trying to clean your room. You're not coming to a fucking speech. I thought about you saying, you know, how important it is to see, you know, you take your kids to work, see what you do. This would have been a good send-off, but... I'm wondering, I gotta believe daddy doing a 52-minute speech has gotta be boring as shit for a teenager, right? Of course it is. And all they really have to show up to is the turkey pardon. I would imagine I would do it by the way. Yeah, well, we're that way, huh? We're that way with our kids. Like, they don't finish a paper. You only get seven hours of TV tonight. Yeah, I correct the whip. That's right. You're not getting into double digits. Taskmaster. All right, let's do one more. All right, well, lots more happened on Wednesday. President-elect Trump conceded for the first time that Russia was behind the hacking of the Democratic institutions during the presidential election. He said that at a news conference. He said, I think it was Russia, according to the New York Times. But he vigorously denied the allegation that he hired prostitutes to pee on a hotel bed where President Obama had stayed. He called that fake news and praised Russian President Vladimir Putin for saying it was false as well. The behavior appeared... Yeah. There could be no more presidential... It's funny, because you always think presidential. You think, uh, Salt and Pepper, White Guy, whatever. Stutten up. Yeah, but Obama is the most composed. I... ...most grace. I think that's the most grace. Push it real good. He's good. Oh, Salt and Pepper, sorry. Yeah, Salt and Pepper. Not Pepper. He... I mean, that speech is magnificent. I disagree with all the raise stuff... He's fucking sensational for five hours. No, I... He's great. He's... He's up there... He's perfect. He's perfect up there, and then you go right to Trump. It's perfect. It's so good. He stands in the... ...trump con? Well, for anyone who isn't quite on the up and up about what I was talking about, This appeared in a 35 page dossier released by Buzzfeed Tuesday night, which detailed Trump's alleged ties with Russia. Trump decided to hold a press conference Wednesday morning addressing this and other issues. There's press conference about being a match. Apparently, somebody called this on December 14th on this show. And we have a clip of that if you want to hear it. Speaking of movies, there's a movie, I want to see, it's that Donald Trump orgy tape. There's a Donald Trump orgy tape? Yeah, in Moscow, that's why he's given all the appointments to Russian dudes. Wow. Putin has a blackmail tape of Donald Trump in an orgy in Moscow. Wow! That's why it's like, you're a secretary of oil. You're the head of Russia. I don't think he knows politics. Extraversion. Out of the mouths of babes. So he talked about a lot. I have a question. He and other people are saying this is fake news. My question is, are they saying the dossier is fake or the information in the dossier is fake? I read the New York Times story, it's like legendary in Washington. Like everyone's read it, everyone knows it exists, everyone knows it's out there, there was a lot of rumbling about it during the election. Defreck, I obviously had heard about it. I know if you want to use the word, you know, heard. That's true. That's very good. Thank you. That's very insensitive. But I'm saying, is the theory that the information is fake or that the dossier is fake? Well, I think a quote from Trump might help you understand that he said, and I quote, the intelligence agency should never have allowed this fake news to quote unquote leak into the public. So maybe he was specifically talking about himself. Local news that never should have been leaked to the public. Gina. I love those local news books. We have a whole, now there's, see there's two, it's an interesting thing and we should get used to it now because it's like there's emails or news or information or things are being hacked into, they're being hacked that happened. And then the person, you can always tell because they make the argument of that was hacked. It's like, right, that was hacked. Yeah. It's just he didn't want to have exposed. Right. Like if you left your phone out and your wife saw a bunch of texts to your old girlfriend, you could say you weren't supposed to look at that, but it still doesn't mean that doesn't exist. And then there's a part where it doesn't exist and somebody made them up and put them on your phone. And now we can all get lost chasing our tails to infinity in that world, right? Yeah. Wag the dog, baby. Wag the dog. Yeah, it's a good movie. That's a big, big dog, Phillip. Yeah, Phillip. He's got, he only got 10 rings. Now I feel jacks, I gotta love him. Oh yeah, I feel jacks. Yeah, I feel a cheesesteak. Sorry, go ahead. So that's not all they talked about in the press conference. He got into it a few times with a couple of reporters. In this clip, Trump goes at it with a reporter who asked about his tax returns. I'm not really saying tax returns because as you know, they're underawed it. But every president since the 70s has had a water bottle after the IRS. Oh, is it? Yeah, I've never heard of it. But as a president. You know, the only one that cares about my tax returns are the reporters. Okay, they're the only ones. But no, I don't think so. I won. Do you believe that? I mean, I became president. No, I don't think they care at all. They, I don't think they care at all. I think you care. Fucking brilliant. I think you care. I won. No, they don't care. I won. Oh gee, I hadn't heard that before. Oh wow, that's a good one. But at the end, you got it. Yeah, he's absurd. By the way, he's aged 20 years already. It's like Lincoln's fucking portrait. It's like, but the last one, he's already 100 years old here. But here's the thing. He starts like a child and then at the end, he just fucking slams that shit in her face with chock full of nuts. No, I won. The proof is that they don't. Yeah. I won. It's amazing. This is going to be a great four years. And I'll tell you why. Because if Ken Burns had an argument with Randy Warwick. You'd have to wake me up for the second half. It never would be Randy stepping up to Ken. And eventually, at a certain point, Ken would just start yelling, I fucked your mom with a fucking mop handle that was dipped in fucking shit. Okay? I'm not online. See, so the press, everybody's going to have to go into the swamp with Trump. There's no high road. They've never been tested because it's like, well, sir, I did. I respectfully disagree. Sir, follow up. Because, sir, I believe I'm within the bounds of my expertise. Point of procedure. All right. But now he knows how long did it take her to get down into the dirt with Trump? Did she know? Not her. The reporter. But she didn't know. She went right back. All of a sudden, we're on a schoolyard. She said, what did she do that was down? He played again. Well, I'm not saying down, but I mean, like he fired. What he did is he did what no one ever does, which is no one cares. Leave me alone. You know, like he fired back with his thing. Usually politicians give a non-answer, but they're not. They're not aggressive about it. She put a snippy, sir, on the universe. And then she, I think then she fired back. Well, let's just hear it again. I know what she did. What I'm saying is usually you'd stop. You're going to see some fireworks is what is what I'm saying because of him. You're going to see the press getting down and firing back. Let me just hear it again. I'm not releasing tax returns because as you know, they're underawed it. But every president since the 70s has had a fireball. Oh, is it? Yeah, I've never heard that. But as a president, sir, is there any law? You know, the only one that cares about my tax returns are the reporters. Okay. They're the only ones. No, I don't think so. I won. I mean, I became president. No, I don't think they care at all. I don't think they care at all. I think you care. I think you care. I think she's more buffet. I think the press is buffet right now. It's going to start. It's going to start with them yelling, you know, Mollani is pussy stinks. Oh, wow. It's going to happen. Jesus. It's coming. Well, please. I'm saying you can't. She's working on a paper. Randy and Ken can't stay up here. Well, I can't. We can't birds. Who cares? They're going to be out of bed early to sleep. That's what I'm saying. He's going to come down with some nambulistic. He puts you to sleep. Right. You know it. I'm some of the audience. But he don't know. Wacked out on Valium and Coke. Well, he does. Now they lost it. But up for four days, listen to the fucking deadmiles. Sorry. I'm with you actually because I think this Buzzfeed releasing this dossier thing, this a lot of it's unprovable, unverifiable news. This might be the first sort of salvo with that because this has been around since the election time and no one bothered to report it because it's sensationalistic and we can't prove it. No, like it is all on the table. And he won't win anyway. I'm going to election night. When it starts to move, it doesn't head toward decorum. That's what I'm saying. And it devolves and it devolves quickly into the fun, the fun stuff. And that's what's going to happen. Well, speaking of the fun, speaking of the fun, he wrapped it up with one of his catch phrases. We have Jocoy on some more. We love Jocoy. Yeah, I know. He wrapped it up. He was turning over the company to his sons and ended the whole thing with one of his favorite phrases. This is all just so you understand these papers. I'm not sure that was explained properly, but these papers are just a piece of the many, many companies that are being put into trust to be run by my two sons. And I hope at the end of eight years, I'll come back and I'll say, oh, you did a good job. I'll say you're fired. Sir. This is the greatest fucking president of all time. It's gone. This is the greatest fucking thing ever. Those files look like a sketch. Yeah. And as he walked out, as you can obviously see, there are so many files. I've been like, obviously, students. If Obama ended every speech with, here come the judge. Yeah. Geraldine. He needed us. He needed us. Yeah. Flip Wilson. And as he walked out, there's literally a porter screaming, uh, Trump, you, you, you never answered the question about whether your best friend is Putin. It just kept walking. It's going to be perfect. Remember, he's been in the WWE ring before, so he knows how to be a shot. He is metaphorically never going to be out of the WWE ring in the next four years. You know what though is when something actually lands and stays, right? Because he's so Teflon and he's a fucking genius. Like I won. Like what do you want? Like he might as well went nice face. Yeah. Yeah. Like, okay. Nice head. Yeah. But when something lands, it'll have to land like a fucking piano and a cartoon off of a building onto his, like it'll be like, there can't be any ambiguity, obviously. So if something like hacking or something like getting pissed on by prostitutes, if it's something lands, it's going to be like checkmate, like we've never seen before in our lives. I just thought I can get him on. I just thought I was ironic. The golden shower is with him because everything is gilded. Everything is gilded. But I'm wondering, we may have entered a new zone where things can't land anymore. Danger zone. Where it just doesn't, I mean, like a politic political version of a Starlet and a bootleg porn. Yeah. Like a Kardashian thing. Something that was a career. There's no such thing as career enders anymore. There's just more of your name and more out there and more arguments. We may have told that to see Thomas Howell. He did tank with James Garner. Nobody saw him again. Oh yeah, tank. He works all the time. Garner commandeered a tank and took it through the city. Oh damn. Yeah. I'm sorry, you're right. All right, let's bring it home. You got it. I'm Gina Grad and that's the news. Gina, Gina Grad! That was the news with Gina Grad. Ah, guy, co-man. Everybody's got something to do. How about you save yourself hundreds of dollars on car insurance and you don't even have to leave the house. Nope. Just go online and go to Geico.com. In 15 minutes you could be saving 15% or more on car insurance. Extra money put in your pocket. I call it whams, walking around money. And again, hop on, figure it out, find out and give yourself 15 minutes to see if you can be saving 15% or more. That's Geico.com. Geico.com. And last but not least, I'm doing a new show on Spike and the first thing I said when I said we're doing a home improvement show is I said I need to be basically judge Judy for home improvement projects and couples. I need basically divorce court. You're the arbiter. All they do is argue over, he wants the Caesar stone, she wants to go with Carrera marble. He thinks it's expensive. But it stains and it's always, and I said I'll settle it. You know what it is? Divorce courtyard. Like that. You're welcome. Yes. Damn. That's why I like Gina. She got that my days flow. So if you're fighting with your spouse over some home improvement issue, I can help. And I'm an expert. When I render my decision, it'll stand and it'll be carved in either Caesar stone or courts or whatever we're going with. Carrera marble. We'll do it on my new show and what you can do is you can go to couples.renovationsatgmail.com. Go there and if you've got a problem to say who it is, what's going on. What's the name of your show, dude? We'll show you. Come on on, man. I think it's called Adam Caroll and Friends Build Things Live. I think you want to go with home grows out there, man. Let's move the flow like that. You like the way it flows. Yeah, we're just saying like that. 22 words. Like I got lost, man. Like what Gina said was just divorce courtyard, man. I'm like, I'm with them, man. It's going to look good on a crude windbreaker. I want to know. Yeah. Jay Moore, everybody. More stories. Buddy. And his live shows. He's all around the country. He's doing everything he's doing. So here's what I want you to do. I want you to go to Jaymoremohr.com. That's a website. Jay Moore. Find out about the screening. Find out about the live shows. Find out about the podcast Jaymore.com. Us live shows. Irvine Improv January 19th. Coming up Fresno, Oxnard, all sorts of live shows. Sacramento. Go to Amcroll.com. Find that out in my movie, The 24 Hour War. Available at chassischase.com. iTunes, Amazon, all stuff. 100% on rotten tomatoes, everybody. The critics have spoken. 95% with the people and 100% with the critics. So enjoy that. How bad can it be? And the red man, Gree is back in stock. Let Lynette know you heard it here. She'll love you for it. Go to CoralDrinks.com. Till next time. I'm Coral for David Wilde and Jay Moore and Gina Gran. Ball Ryan St. Mahala. I grew up not being able to nuzzle a bosom. All right, this is Adam Krull Show 1985. That does it for this weekend's Coral Classics. Make sure to tune next weekend for an all-new installment. Until then, Mahala, and get it on. Thank you.