Tavern Tales - Infantnights: Part One - The Quarter-Pint Quest

The Stinky Dragon vinyl is here! For the month of March, we're dropping the first ever Stinky Dragon vinyl album! This limited edition record happens to feature all of your favorite hits, like Step Into The Stinky Dragon, Introducing The Infanites, Sleek Symphony, and even the high octane, Smarsh Is Still King! It's the ultimate way to experience the saga of The Infanites and glorious analog. I'm so excited you get a physical piece of media, but don't wait, when it's gone, it's gone! Go order yours now at store.stinkydragonpod.com. Grab yours before the music stops! Ready to launch your business? Get started with the commerce platform made for entrepreneurs. Shopify is specially designed to help you start, run, and grow your business with easy customizable themes that let you build your brand, marketing tools that get your products out there, integrated shipping solutions that actually save you time, from startups to scale-ups, online, in person, and on the go. Shopify is made for entrepreneurs like you. Sign up for your $1 a month trial at Shopify.com. What happens when two people who grew up in a very strange corner of Los Angeles look back and realize just how bizarre their upbringings really were? They start a podcast, of course. I'm Ashley Johnson. And I'm Taliesin Jaffe. Before we became the internet people we are today, we spent our childhoods as working actors, appearing in shows like Growing Pains and films like Mr. Mob. In our podcast Weird Kids, we're diving deep into our unique upbringings, our friendship with each other, and all the delightfully odd interests we still carry with us today. In each episode we get to share stories of our youth, the things that bring us joy, the problems that we face, and occasionally the friends we've collected along the way. If you're a misfit, an outcast, or just a weirdo who loves all things nostalgic and unconventional, come take a seat at our table. Each week we'll be releasing previously members-only episodes on YouTube and all major podcast platforms, with new episodes dropping exclusively and ad-free on Beacon.tv. Hey everybody, John here. This was a tavern tale that we performed live on our YouTube channel to celebrate our one-year anniversary as a business. We've now edited it down and added that audio magic you expect from Stinky Dragon so you can enjoy it right now. And once you're finished, good news. Part two is already available for all of our paid patrons. So when you're done with this one, there's more kidding around with the kids waiting for you. Enjoy and thank you again for supporting us through an entire year. Oh, I think we're live, live. I don't think I had to push the button. Hi everybody. Welcome to the stream. A year of being independent and we're still learning how to stream properly. I'm John Reisinger and I'm here to welcome you guys to a wonderful anniversary stream for us. We have been independent for a whole year, technically yesterday, and we have been able to do that and do things like keep our lights on, run the AC, have internet to play Pokemon games because of you guys. Our community, our listeners, our Patreon supporters, all of you, anybody who just listens to anything Stinky Dragon, it is your fault. It is your support. And so we thank you for that. It's been amazing, like, to be honest just for one second before we get into the shenanigans of some fun entertainment. It's insane that we were able to all lose our jobs in one fell swoop and then we were able to hit the ground running with our own company, getting to make Stinky Dragon full time. And it is something I'm still grateful for every single day with the most genuine sentiment I can muster. So thank you guys so much. If you even just listened to the show, you're the reason why we're able to still be us. And that's been great. And speaking of being us, what we have for today to celebrate with you guys, our anniversary, we got a few things to celebrate with you. And one of them is that we do have, obviously, we want to ask like, hey, if you want to support us on Patreon, we would love you to support us on Patreon. This is a great time to buy a year, just have a year of great content set up and ready to go for you guys all year long. It's not a bad thing. And then on top of that, we have some merch in the store. That is also some celebratory merch. We will have even more merch to announce very soon. That is linked to the Patreon tier that you subscribe to. So if you're a little stinker, you get some little stinker merch. If you're a big stinker, you get the little stinker merch and big stinker merch that you can buy. So we've got a bunch of stuff like that coming down the line. And yes, as you guys can see from my little bug, we are going to play some D&D today. And I am DMing. I'm letting everyone else play. I'm letting everyone else have shenanigans. I'm taking on the challenge of one, DMing live on YouTube with y'all, which is frightening. And two, I'm doing it with a lot of people, the most amount of people we've ever had play at the same time. So get ready for some oddities. Just get ready for it. It's going to be, it's going to be a lot, but I hope you guys have some fun. And if you guys are ready to have some D&D fun here on a Monday, a random Monday at the beginning of June, also happy pride. We can get started with that. Okay. All right. Get settled. Get your drinks. Get your blankies. And let's have some fun. Okay. And I present to you the infant nights. We open on what looks to be the backyard of a quaint home in the suburbs of the town of Boulderay. Looking around the scene, one would spot the usual domestic accoutrement typically found in a family yard, a red tricycle sitting on the porch, a clothes line where fresh laundry is drying in the summer sun and nestled near the back of the yard, atop a tall oak tree sits a wooden treehouse. At first glance, one might be so bold as to judge the construction of such a structure as shabby or uneven, but upon closer look, you'd find character and charm in the build of such an arboreal abode. At the bottom of a rope ladder that ascends to a manhole entrance rests a crudely written sign in crayon declaring heroes only, no baddies allowed. Allowed as ob-spelled, A-L-O-U-D. The treehouse itself is designed to look like a makeshift fortress ready for siege from any would-be attackers. Along a balcony jutting out from front of the house sits a cache of water balloons and a pair of binoculars duct taped to a wooden stand. A crow's nest of sorts sits atop the whole building with what looks to be a bucket filled with arrows tipped with suction cups. And inside this verdant villa is where we find our heroes of this story. Sitting criss-cross applesauce on a multicolored rug in the middle of a room, we see a halfling, an elf, and a half-orc who seem to be having a heated discussion over who should be the leader of their band of misfits. The halfling, a stout toddler with a full head of messy, curly, orange hair stands up to his full height and declares in a diminutive but forceful voice, I am the boss of this place. Perfect. The elf, a lanky boy with long blonde hair and clothes covered in grass stains and dirt spots from what looks to be too many attempts at acrobatics, rolls backwards in an awkward, yet impressive, reverse somersault, and springs to his feet shouting, Action scenes! Was that cool? Did you guys impressed? The half-orc, don't ignore me, the half-orc wearing an origami pointed hat made of newspaper and a patchwork diaper stitched together from various cloth materials rises to join the other two standing around him. Clearly the youngest of the three, his ascent is slow and careful, like a newborn foal. At his full height, despite clearly being younger than the other two, he stands an inch taller than even the elf. He smiles, exposing a single tooth that can be seen amongst a wide gummy grin and says, I think that I should be in charge of everyone and as my first order of being in charge of everyone, I want to put Bart in charge. Welcome the infant knights to their tree house. Welcome. How are you guys going to decide who's your leader? Well, I think the answer is pretty obvious. It's going to be the biggest person here, which is me. Well, as the leader of this group, I am proud that you have all elected me unanimously to be the head honcho. I want to thank my right hand man Bart and my left hand man Gum Gum. And mud my butt man. And as my first active class president, I demand everyone gives back flips. Okay, do you guys do back flips? This is actually was Rick, but I agree. Let's go. Bart does one of those, you know, when you try to like set yourself up for a cartwheel, but you just like full sprint it and just like put your hands on the ground and do a little hop. Yeah. Yeah, that's what he does. Very nice. What does gum gum do? Gum gum just flips onto his back like jumps and just belly flops, but it's a back flop. Yes. Perfect. I'm sure that'll be great for the structure of this tree house. I just really thought about the weight capacity of the house. What's the what's is that OSHA that's supposed to make sure that's that's up to code? Just then the rope ladder connected to the entrance at the front of the room goes taut and a brass bell attached to it by a string rings an alarm. All three of you look at the entrance and what do you do? I draw my bow and arrow. I would go over and call out say, who goes there? This is sacred territory. Only the finest of adventurers may join us. What about gum gum? Gum gum covers his eyes. Okay. Perfect. Up through the manhole pokes the head of a dwarven child, breathing heavy and sweating from his climb. The boy pops down onto the floor of the tree house too exhausted to move any further. The only physical feat he can muster is to awkwardly roll slightly to one direction to shift something strapped to his back to his side so he may lay flatly to catch his breath. What that thing is, it's green and it's a wooden loot. Oh no. Hey guys, I just, I feel like I heard you guys were all hanging out together and I thought it would be a lot of fun if maybe you had some music to go along with the hanging out and I figured maybe I could hang out with you. Who invited Sleek? I was like, I'm gonna wait for Blander as mine. Sleek, so good to see you. Wow. Oh my best friend. I'm so glad you're here. I'm so glad I got the invite. Wow. I didn't realize you guys were best friends from such an early age. Yeah, yeah, Sleek. I thought I didn't I send you on a very important quest across the the woods? Did you, you're back so soon? Yeah, you fired an arrow out into the woods and told me that it was really important I bring it back. So I went out there and I spent all night looking. I stoured everywhere. I went to Smarsh's Cavern. I went to where that that burdo thing was that we found at one point and I eventually like found it, fired into the tallest tree in the deepest part of the wood. You would have known. Wow. You want to play again? You want to play again? You can open your eyes. It's Sleek. Hey, Gumbum. Sleek, I feel like you're forgetting something. Could you roll me a wisdom check? Oh, yeah, anything for you, DM. That's going to be a solid 13. Oh, okay. That's a fantastic roll. Sleek, you remember today is a special day and you actually brought some friends along for that special day. It's Mudd's birthday today. It's Mudd's birthday and he's having a birthday party and you just remembered about it and you brought some friends along. Did anybody remember to get Mudd present? Gumbum jumps down off the treehouse and starts grabbing Mudd from the dirt. You jump out of the treehouse that is up at the top of an oak tree. Yes. How much damage you take in? I was going to say, why don't you roll? That's just fall damage. You want to rethink that? You're a like a two-year-old on the top of a oak tree. I mean, I said I did it. I'm just going to commit. I mean, you said you'd said it, but I know often you do not think about the surroundings of what we're in. So do you want to roll for damage? Gus said 1d6 per 10 feet. Okay. How high is the treehouse? That's going to be all your health. Let's say we are only 10 feet up. So why don't you roll 1d6 for damage? Not bad. Very good. Three damage already to Gumbum. Well, actually when Gumbum lands at the bottom of the tree, Gumbum, you see some people out there. Oh no. They're trying to steal my birthday present for Mudd. Do you want to maybe tell your compatriots about seeing some people out there with you? Yes. The party's already started down here. Come look. There actually might be a my birthday present for you, Mudd. I invited a little bit of a performer. What? Yeah. They're like a comedian. Talk about hair a lot though. So like, I don't really know if that's their shtick. So you all rushed to the treehouse windows, I assume, to see what Gumbum is talking about. And as you peer down into the sun-drenched yard below, sure enough, there they are. A tiny cobalt with oversized glasses and a lizard folk whose eyes never seem to be pointing in the same direction. I wonder if we could build a ramp instead of a rope ladder. I have crutches and it doesn't really make it up there. I have a hammer. It's fine. I'll stop building it. It'll be okay. I- Kiborg is the strongest person I know. He can pull you up. Let's get this party started. I call down to, uh, what's- what's doctor, but like pre-pre-doctor at him? Hey, you could just call me Doc. Okay. I call down to Doc at him and hairless touch. They say, hey guys, be careful down there. There's a lot of dirt that was, um, it was dry before, but then someone had to use the bathroom, so now it's mud. It's Mud's birthday. It mustn't be him. I don't know. I'm not asking questions. Just be careful of the mud. Don't go rolling around in it. Where's Gumbum? I'm rolling in it. Well, I'm trying to collect it. I just imagine Gumbum like, you know, when like you see like those pugs that are just like doing that back like roll kind of thing they're doing, that's Gumbum out there. Well, it is in fact Mud's birthday. Uh, it's- he's having a party today. Mud's not here with you guys. That's the way I'm going to solve mud, not having to play mud for the rest of this adventure. We're celebrating his birthday without him here. Well, you don't have a birthday present, so I need you guys to solve for that. Oh, okay. I guess he wouldn't like my hairless hutch gift. 20 minutes of stand up straight. I thought he would have loved it. Starting now. All right, you guys look like a great crowd. What's going on with this weather lately, right? It's got your hair all frizzy, I bet, and all the humidity. Oh, why don't you describe that to me? Tell me what that's like. Kyberg's laughing. Wait, does Kyberg have both of his arms? Okay, so I was gonna- I wanted some clarification, John, before we like- Not to get too meta. Sure, we get meta. When we have weapons, do we have weapons or is Kyberg's bow and arrow like a little suction air, like toy arrow gun thing? Actually, I appreciate you bringing that up, Blaine, because I wanted to set some standards here of what we're playing around with. This is not a canonical story of these characters and their babies. This is the alternate reality version of the- of the infinites akin to like Muppet Babies. Muppet Babies was not necessarily Muppet Lore. In fact, the Muppet Lore has always changed throughout the years. So this is a non-canonical version. So it's up to you guys, but yes, this is like you guys are the babies, okay? So you guys probably have little baby versions of what you're doing, but you know, your weapons need to be doing damage because you guys are fighters. So yeah. Then Barb, to answer your question, I would still have my metal arm. Okay. Yeah. Guys, have you seen my parents lately? I don't know. Have you seen mine? We're not getting into that for this adventure. This is a fun adventure and to have some fun, I need everyone to roll a history check. Minus one. I'm great at history. Oh, I also have a minus one. Best friends. You want to go get another arrow? 18. 18. 12. 18. 17. 17. Who got 19? Me. And 15 for Bart. Okay. So with a 19, sleek, you actually remember that Lady Siltmire, Mudd's aunt, she lives only two blocks from here. Her and Mudd, they're very close and she's probably sure to know like a good idea of what to get Mudd for his birthday if you guys are looking for ideas. Okay. Yeah, I think we could go just visit Mudd's aunt and maybe they can tell him. I already got my gift. I don't know if you guys have an idea. I got this arrow from the tallest tree in the deepest part of the forest, but I'll help you guys get your gift too. I mean, we don't have jobs. We don't have school because it's summer vacation. Yeah. I'm not for an adventure. And we don't have parents. If you are one, I could give you homework though. Bart slowly just edges to push Dr. Ham. More for me. I'm really being endeared to Dr. Ham. It's very much sticky dragon adventures, Dr. Ham is what we're getting. Yeah. Great. So you guys want to head out to Lady Silmire's? Yeah. Let's do it. Yeah. Let's go. Two blocks. We should be there by nightfall. Bart climbs down the rope. Be very clear what you're doing. Oh man, I just got up here. Okay. So you all climb down and you join as a party of the six and you guys start heading out to where you know Lady Silmire lives. We're going to have a little function here when you guys change location. You guys are going to do a travel check. After all, you guys are like, you know, three year olds walking around a neighborhood. So I need you guys to roll me a check to see how well you travel. So everyone roll me a survival check. All right. Oh no. Ben, asleep. What did you roll? I got a net one. Okay. Uh, not it. On surviving? Is that what the nut is? You got it. We got a one from Sleek 23 from Bart, nine from Hutch, 19 from Gum Gum, 14 from Kyborg, Kybaby, and a hem. I got a three. Okay. I just want to point out I rolled a net 20. Yeah. But with the three inside. Well, Bart, Gum Gum, and Kyborg, you guys managed to traverse the streets. Fine. Hutch, you got distracted. You found a gumdrop on the floor and ate the gumdrop. It had some hair on it from being on the ground. So you have disadvantage on intelligence and wisdom checks till after your next battle due to sugar rush. I'm not good at those anyway. So it's fine. And Sleek, you stepped in fresh pavement while you guys were walking around. And so you have half speed until you can find something to clean it off. Okay. Oh man. I was like, I dropped my gumdrop and I stepped in this pavement. I don't know where I am. If there's one thing my loving parents have always told me, it's that I am a follower, not a leader. That's why I need someone to help me out. Kyborg. At least you had parents. It's okay. Add a gumdrop at the beginning of this adventure too. And then a hem or a dock. Yes. You found a raccoon and you tried to pet the raccoon. So I'm gonna need you to roll an animal handling check to see if it attacks you. It's coming to handle you back as well. Let's see. Animal handling is a plus one. So 17. Okay. Even if you handled it, fine. It didn't attack you. And my field guide ready. Yeah. You got distracted, but you recover. Okay. So you guys make your way downtown and the party eventually finds their way to a, the gated entrance of a lush landscaped garden. As you unlatch the gate and head in, you are amazed to find yourself amidst a plethora of different biomes, each filled with their own unique plants and vegetation, all coexisting in this one yard. You follow this winding dirt path till your meandering leads you to the front porch of a house carved into an enormous sycamore tree. Sitting on a rocking chair, sorting little seeds into little pouches, sits a graying old fear-bog woman humming a tune. A couple of you catch from your peripheral vision what looks to be some of the plants swaying to the rhythm of her song. Oh, would you look at you little weeds popping up, what I least expected. What brings a band of grubby little sprouts to old siltmires' ports this fine growing hour? Hello, milady. Uh, oh god. Uh, just a term of endearment, not anything else, not suggestive in any way. Um, is it true that you are related to the mud bramblecrack? Oh, of course, that's my little muddy daddy. I love him so much. And is it true that you give out full candy bars during Halloween? Because you are so rich and live in a gated community. Um, yes, I do love to be generous with the little ones around that time, although it is summer so I don't have them with me right now. Oh, okay, fair enough. Well, I do appreciate you giving us a new nickname for my muddy daddy. That's so great. I'm gonna be using that from now on. We will definitely bully him with that later. But I'm here with some of my compadres behind me. I am the team leader, Bart, of course, as we all decided equally. Oh, well congratulations. And we're on the hunt for the perfect birthday gift for muddy daddy. And we're hoping you give us some guidance there. Oh, yes, a gift for little mud. Yes, yes, I might know just the thing, but you know, my poor old mind more tangled than my morning glories. See, my memory is a bit unrooted these days, but I do find I recall things best when I play my favorite game. Plant based riddles. Hairless Hatch is really excited about riddles. I hope there's some puns in here. Inspiration dice to Gus for a yes ending Lady Siltmire. Listen, I know people were not, you guys were not a Fanness Coville the Stumper, but I had fun with him, so I'm not. I hope it comes back around. So she stands up with a surprising amount of like sprightliness and reaches into a nearby watering can and pulls out a tiny little notebook made of pressed leaves. Grinning, she addresses you all again and she says, if you see links can answer a few of my flora fueled riddles. Maybe I'll remember where that special toy is buried in my brain box. What do you say my darling dirtlings, do you accept the riddle of the roots? I do love brain teasers. Let's do it. Okay, so this is going to be a riddle game. And so each player I'm going to give you guys are going to answer this one at a time is what I want. I'm making this a little challenging, but you guys can each roll an intelligence check for your turn and if you roll low, you're going to get a harder riddle. If you roll high, give me an easier one and you have to guys get enough to satisfy Lady Stiltmeyer so her memory can be unlocked. Okay. And just to clarify, I have disadvantage on this role. You do. All right, who would like to go first? Oh, please, let Kyber go. As leader of this team, I am happy to go first and show my fellow compatriots who's charged. All right, roll me an intelligence check. Okay, I give a knowing look to Bart. Okay, all right. We crunched the numbers there. That's a one. I don't know why you made eye contact with me on that. I think it messed you up. What's your role, Kyborg? I rolled a one. Right. Okay, what is a frog's favorite flower? That would be a lily. Oh, I can see where you go with that. That's not correct. Do you want to take maybe one more stab at that? Can I phone a friend and call my friend Goonther? I'm stumped. I don't know, man. I just I'm here for the candy bars. I don't know. That would, of course, be a crocus. That's a kind of flower. I've never heard of that. I never thought about flowers and I've never heard of it. Well, Gum Gum, would you like to go next? Okay. All right, roll me a check. I rolled a nine, which is pretty good for Gum Gum. Yeah, I'll give you an easier one for that. Gum Gum, what kind of flower grows on your face? Oh, it seems your friend Bart might have some to help to give you. There's not ear or nose. What is it, Bart? What if I give him a clue? I will let you help him if you can roll a stealth check for me. You can be sneaky. Oh, that's fun. That's a good way to do that. No. I rolled a one plus five. There have been so many critical fails so far. I started sneaking over and I trip over and I came Gum Gum down with me. You know how kids are when they just fall down and they just get up and they just... Yeah. Um, Gum Gum, do you want to make a guess? I'll give you a hint. It has to do with something on the lower part of your face. Lower part. Yeah. Chin, chin. Little higher, little higher. Little higher. Mouse, mouse. Yes, right around there. Mouse, cheek, cheek, mouse. What else is there? What else is there? No, no, what else is there around the mouse? Oh, getting colder. Getting a bit colder. Lips, lips, uh... Does Gum Gum have a beard? He's the hairiest baby ever. How many lips you got? Who lips? Oh yes, Gum Gum, you got that all on your own. I'm so proud of you. First try, Gum Gum. I do like chin, chin. How's that chin, chin? Chin nose, chin mustache beard. Okay, who would like to go next? I'll go. All right, buddy. Sorry, Hutch. Roll me that check. And I go ahead. You're a star. I'm just a supporting character here. But, Hutch, you're a star in my heart. 19. Oh, that's a very good roll. But what kind of tree can fit into your hand? A palm tree. You were so quick with that, just a sharp little halfling, aren't you? You know, hey, I like to think I'm a pretty big, smart halfling. Um, Hutch, did you want to go next? Yeah, hit me. All right, roll that check for me with a disadvantage. That's right. It's going to be great. 16 and... 16. Oh, good rolls, good rolls. Okay. I'm very smart. Yes, you are. Hutch, what kind of plant is known for its roar? Roar. Does Kyber want to try to stealthily help, Hutch? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Roll me that stealth check. It's a 13. I'll allow that. Hutch, Hutch. Yeah, yeah, what? Stop touching my hair. Yeah, if anything else, real good. I know, thank you. Are you using a new conditioner? Just, please stop. Just focus up. You blow on it. You blow on it. And then the seedling spread. You know what I mean? Oh, oh, oh, oh, yeah. Yeah, yeah. A sunflower. Ah! Oh, you were so close. I do love me a sunflower, but unfortunately the answer is a dandelion. We were looking for a dandelion. That one, yeah. Were you serious just then, Hutch? Where is that real? Would you accept it, Tiger Lily? You blow it on sunflowers? Hutch's intelligence is nine. I don't think... That's being in character. In character, I don't think he's got it. All right, let's keep going. I'm loving this, and it is, I'm unlocking my memory. It's helping. We're almost there. You hear a kachunk, kachunk, kachunk, and around the corner, sleek, covered in pavement, and concrete booth. Hey guys, what are we doing? I made it. Don't worry, I've been here the whole time. What's going on? Sleek. I do love that we just keep cutting in front of... I am. Sleek, Romeo and Intelligence check. Sleek and go, it's fine. No, I kind of like this narrative. I'm ready, bro. 18. That's great, that's a great role. All right, my dear little sneak. What is a chicken's favorite plant? Okay, yeah, yeah, I got this, I got this. Chickens, chicken's favorite plant. Chickens, favorite plant. Do I know any chickens? You're a chicken. Kite works right over there. What's my favorite plant? It could be anything. It could be a anybody, and he just looks around. Or is it one of those things where he's not making eye contact? Do you want to make a guess at it, baby? Is it my favorite plant, poison ivy? No. A chicken's favorite plant is an eggplant. That makes a lot of sense now that I think about it. It does, it does. That was my second guess. That was, yes, I'm sure it was. Doc, would you like to play the game? Oh, I can play now. Okay, great. I thought this was all you, not me, okay. Why don't you roll me an intelligence check? I roll an eight. Doc, where do vegetables go after work for drinks? Where do vegetables go after work for drinks? Um, I know it's not a town. Oh, let's see. Vegetables would go to the produce aisle at the market. I think he's on to something. I think he's on to something. Let him cook. Yes, that's not quite right, but you're heading in a direction. I'll give you one more try. Do you think maybe you could take a guess at this? Didn't we want to? Now she's just asking for you guys to help, Doc. I'm mostly familiar with the Latin roots of all these plants. So yes, any help could be useful. Where do you go for drinks? A bar? Starbucks. Can you put the question in a sentence? What's the country of origin? Can you spell it for me? A salad bar. Salad bar. I'm just going to say it. I will write that down for later. You're still, you're so close. I'm just so eager to keep playing this forever, but I do want to help you with the party. I have a question for you if I may, ma'am. Sure. What was your last name again? Bramblecrack. Bramblecrack, okay. Silkmyre. Silkmyre. Well, my name is Silkmyre. Okay, so it's not Yuzhijinaya. Oh, dearie no. Okay, all right, there we are. Does someone else want to take another stab? I don't know, the ridden. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. How about let's have some fun? I'm just having such a good time. Everybody can participate with this one, okay? I'm really excited for to answer this, but I don't want to steal the limelight, so I think Bart should answer this. You know, Silk, I didn't realize how smart of a guy you were. What kind of bean, a sticky bean, doesn't grow in a garden? What kind of bean doesn't grow in a garden? Yes. Uh, oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Hatch, do you have an answer? Yeah, yeah. A human bean. You know that's a good one. That wasn't the answer, but I'm going to take that one. Lady Silmar likes your cleverness so much, and gives you that one, okay? How about just one more for me, just for fun? One more for just for fun. Can you guys tell me what vegetable rings when you shake it? Oh, you guys are all under the spot. Hatch got that. I saw Doc. Yes, I was thinking it's a bell pepper. That's so correct, oh, you guys have done so well. I was going to say onion ring. Oh, that would have been so good as well. Bonus points to you, sleek, okay? I like that. That is probably sleek's favorite vegetable. It is my favorite vegetable. Oh, well, patunas and peonies, you clever little sprouts actually did it. You've rattled the roots of my memory loose. She spins in place with like this joy, and nearly knocks over a hanging planter as she does it. And she says excited with her eyes twinkling. Oh, yes, oh, yes, I remember now. The perfect gift for a young muddy daddy. Something magical, something dirty, something made just for burrowing babies and bashful badgers. She leans at this point for like dramatic effect and lowers her voice to like a theatrical kind of whisper. And she says it's called the burrow box. It's a toy chest unlike any other. It's buried deep beneath the boulder playground, at the park playground. In the tunnels, only the bravest of babes dare to explore. She reaches into an empty flower pot next to her and pulls out these three small square cut like pieces of dirty canvas. And she holds them out and she says, these will help you when you need them. Three dirty canvases, do they have anything on them? No, they seem to be just squares of dirty canvas, just blank. Like a painting canvas thing? Like a canvas bag that you would like hold like a fertilizer or potatoes in. Okay. Okay. I'll take one. Okay. There's one for Hutch. I don't have any hands because I have crutches so yes. I think, you know, we hired Hairless Hutch, so why don't we put him to work? Oh, is Hairless Hutch hired? Is he hired in us? As Mudd's birthday gift. Okay, so he's contractor? Okay. Then ladies still in our hands all three to Hutch. You guys let me know if you're in a hairy situation and I'll come to the rescue. That's a good tagline for a business. I feel like you could really get through something there. Okay, now go on your garden gnomes in training, find that box and make sure Mudd has the best birthday a fear bog ever had. And with that ladies still in my heart, claps her hands together and with the dusty puff of like potting soil, she disappears from the porch. That's a lot of pressure. Thanks, Mrs. Downfire. You guys all saw her, right? That wasn't just like a figment of my imagination. You guys turn around all of a sudden you're in an empty lot and there's nothing there. No, just kidding. It was all but a dreamer. Yeah. Guys, I don't think we should have got into that house that had the tent canopy surrounding it. Striped canopy. You look over Hairless Hutch's on his back. We're all just talking to a lamp. Just the tails tripled up and curled up. What do you guys do? I think we gotta head to the playground, guys. Let me head out first. I'll meet you guys there. Do we know where it is or do we have to like? Yeah, you guys, do you guys know what the playground is? You guys have been there quite a lot. I mean, Gum Gum might not, but we would. Maybe someone hold Gum Gum's hand so he doesn't cross too many streets without looking. Not it. I'll do it. So with that, since you guys are deciding to travel again, let's do another skill check, another travel check. More on excellent. Give me a survival roll. Oh man. I will take up the rear. 21. 21. 18. 18. 8. Gum Gum with an 8. Oh yes. 18. 18. Solid 9. 9 for sleek and dock. 13. Lucky number. Another 13. So then that is, please, all those slides, survival checks. Bart, Hutch, Kai Baby, and we'll say dock. I'll let you have this one. You guys make it there. No problem. But Gum Gum, you get distracted by a butterfly at one point, and you can't continue the journey until someone figures out an idea of how to get your attention back. Not it. I'm going to get this. Does someone want to help Gum Gum? I will help. How are you going to help him? Um, I, for moments like this, I've crafted my own butterfly, made with shiny paper. Oh. So then anytime Gum Gum gets distracted, like a butterfly is for other objects. I know that he's a fan. I pull it out and I start flapping it. Oh my goodness. This is aluminum foil. You said shiny paper, but it's just aluminum foil. Yeah. Magic, magic paper. But if I over here, you have a friend look. Roll me a persuasion check to persuade Gum Gum to go towards yours. 13. Oh yeah, that, that succeeds. Gum Gum clearly likes to shiny butterfly more and starts biting at the, for the aluminum foil. I want to catch this tiny Pokemon. I do one of those things where, uh, you know, if you're like trying to play magic with someone and you put it over their head and then I grab it with the other hand to bracket it. And so he thinks it disappears. Oh, it got away again. Again, I know. And we'll catch him next time, Gum Gum. I know. Hey guys, since we're heading to the playground, I just wanted to say, you know, I passed my survival check and I think if we're going to map out or route through the neighborhood, we should avoid Q Manners house. He just got back from Juvie Hall for lighting fires and killing small animals. We need, we need to avoid going through that property. Okay guys. Yeah, he does weird stuff with his dolls. Yeah. It's like, what is it? What is it from, uh, uh, Sid? From Toy Story? Sid did it from Toy Story. I got you, Chris. And then Sleek, uh, with your survival check, I think this works actually pretty well for considering you still have some concrete on your foot. You actually trip on some uneven sidewalk and you take one damage. Why did that sound like the Minecraft damage that was like verbate? Like, when you drop your fall damage sound. Yeah. Cannot really tell. I think Sleek actually sounds. Okay, cool. So you guys head to the Boulderay Park playground. As the party gets further and further from Lady Stiltmire's house, the sun shines brightly overheads, casting playful shadows on the familiar neighborhood. Soon you arrive at the Boulderay Park playground, a bustling hub of childhood adventure. The playground is a vibrant landscape that's colorful plastic equipment with towering slides and swing sets, creaking in the breeze and an enormous central sandbox where the sand glitters like tiny golden gems. Children's laughter fills the air in the scent of fresh grass, mingles with the faint aroma of packed lunches. The sandbox, the heart of the playground, is bustling with activity, with various children playing imaginary games all around. Could I talk to Kyborg really fast? Sure. Hey, what's up, Doc? Um, Kyborg, I was here, you know, a few weeks ago and there were these dragonborn that wanted me to help them with their homework, but I was too busy and that's why I got this broken leg. Oh, um, could you keep an eye out since you seem to speak that language really wet? I'm gonna bully these bullies. They're not gonna know what's coming. No one hurts my friend, Doc. You got it, Doc. I'm gonna watch out, you're gonna watch your back, bud. Thank you very much. And if you run into them, just repeat after me. Tell them. Excellent. I'll write that down. This is a family-friendly show, uh, Kyborg, if you could keep the sense of swearing down. So sorry, guys. Sleek, uh, avoid the swimming pool with your brick shoes, okay? Just saying. You got it, boss. All right, so you guys are at the playground. What do you guys do? I think Bart would go straight over for a swing set. Cool. Why don't you roll me a investigation check? I want to, I am swinging. Okay. At disadvantage. You got it. Because you're moving. I can do 16. Wow. Even while in motion, it must be that, like at the peak, you get that kind of overwatch element as you keep doing just for a brief moment. And you do see that, you notice like near the center of the sandbox. There's an area that seems to be like at a lower elevation than the rest of the sandbox. To the sandbox. Game. Wait, how do you get off the swing? Do you slow down and get off? Offer it to slow down on its own momentum. It's just everybody waiting for the centrifugal force to stop. I'll meet you guys there in probably two and a half minutes. So all we hear is, I'll meet you guys. All right, you guys all gather? Yeah. You know, this makes sense. I've heard Kybergs told me before that cats will sometimes bury candy bars in here. And then I should look for them. And I haven't gone to it yet, but maybe not at the time, you know, we could all split a candy bar. Inspiration Day spend. I want to say Ben, you're killing it. I mean, you're crashing me off. I mean, that's so good. Idol money lies in your current account, picking crumbs out of its belly button, wondering, should I eat them? But when you start investing with Monzo, your money's always busy. It turns on regular investments, invests your spare change, and tops up your stocks and shares, Issa. It even helps you make sense of risk and return. Monzo, the bank that gets your money moving. You could get back less than you invest. Monzo current account required UK residents 18 plus T's and C's apply. Does it ever feel like you're a marketing professional just speaking into the void? But with LinkedIn ads, you can know you're reaching the right decision makers, a network of 130 million of them in fact. You can even target buyers by job title, industry, company, role, seniority, skills, company revenue. And did I say job title yet? Get started today and see how you can avoid the void and reach the right buyers with LinkedIn ads. Spend 200 pounds on your first campaign and get a 200 pound credit for the next one. Go to linkedin.com slash lead to claim your offer terms and conditions apply. I feel bad though. I just stepped on Micah. Micah, what are you gonna say? I was going to expect the structural integrity of every piece of playground in here. All right, we gotta do a few checks here, Micah. Okay, so as you guys are approaching this area, you do actually find that there's kind of a thin layer of sand at a certain spot. So you kind of, you guys brush aside a few clumps of that sand to uncover a small wooden hatch. It's buried beneath the sand itself. And it's marked with like faded crayon drawings of like an ogre with like a frowny face and underneath it, underneath as the words do not open seriously. Wow, friends. I bet this is where all the candy bars are. We gotta open this, guys. Yeah, what do you do? Okay, okay. I got it. I got it. Okay. And sleek is going to look toward this box and he's going to put it point his fingers and he's going to cast the spell finger guns, which is an actual legitimate spell and D&D beyond. What? You extend your forefinger and thumb, a dangerous gesture mimicking a gun. Sleek has a gun. He's got a gun. Baby sleek has a gun. For the duration, your hand counts as a simple ranged weapon with a range of 60 feet and the slow mastery property. You can use your spell casting ability instead of dexterity for the attack rolls of this weapon. And on a hit, the weapon deals 2d64 damage. I would like to try to shoot this chest or whatever this is open. Okay. So you are facing this hatch and you are pulling out finger guns to cast the spell. Yes. Kyborg is going to turn his back to the group and he's going to keep look out because I feel like I used to do that a lot as a kid. I'd look out when my friends are doing something dangerous or bad just to make sure no adults saw. Okay. Before we get to Ben doing his attack, why don't you give me a perception check? Hi, baby. You got it. That is looks like a 14. Yeah. You look around and you're trying to keep an eye on like a certain side of the sandbox and sleek kind of bends over and he's kind of like focusing his baby arcane energy towards this hatch. And then all of a sudden, sleek, you feel something happen behind you. Just as you reach out to do your finger guns, a sudden whoosh of sand rains down your back and into your pants and undies. The, you know, the sand is coarse. It's gritty. It's absolutely everywhere. You don't want it to be. And a familiar snicker echoes from behind you, turning to where this sand originated from. Standing there with a smirk and a little sand shovel held in a floating magical hand is Brink Tussler, the most obnoxious kid in the neighborhood. Guys, I think I gum gumped myself. I Brink. Surrounding Brink or along with Brink, he has a gang of little goblin goons that snicker beside him all with their arms crossed, trying to look formidable. And Brink says, oh, did the little baby have an accident in their diaper? Typical toddlers. Listen, you imbecile infants. That cavern and all the little goodies inside belong to Brink. Okay. You got to play back a little bit. This one, this one's a smart one. Can we share it? Hey, hey, Brink, is it true that you pooped your pants during math class last semester? I heard that rumor going around. Is it true? Can you confirm it and I? I think you're doing that thing again where you make your own adventure. Someone else's adventures, little Kai baby. No, I would never poop my pants. You, you're the pants pooper. But that's not true, Kai. You pooped your pants all the time. Come, come, shut up. All right. So I think, you know, it's very fun that you guys have found this hatch, but I think you need to disperse. Okay. I think that hairless hutch has something to say. Because of Bart's great leadership in giving me the dirty canvases, I'm going to pull one out and try to touch it to Brink Tussler's face. Oh, in what, help me understand what hutch is trying to do here? Well, Lady Siltmire said that the canvases would help us when we needed help, and it appears we need help right now. So maybe I, I picture he's, he's doing the one, two thing, or was one hand he's reaching out for hair, and the other hand he's putting a canvas. It's just, it's just reaching at his head. I guess that would be like a, like a dex, a dex check to see if you managed to get the canvas to him. Can I see also if I, at the simultaneously as this happening, could I try to cast sleep on Brink Tussler? Let's resolve hutch first, and then yeah, you can do that. I wanted him to think that he was putting him to sleep. No tears only sleep. Oh, 19 on my dex check. 19 in your dex check. Yeah. The crowd parts and hutch walks forward and just slowly, slowly puts the canvas against Brink's facing Brink, just not understanding what's going on, just allows it to happen. And as the canvas reaches his face and he pushed against it and hutch his other hand comes up and starts stroking his hair. Nothing happens. And, and Brink goes, is this one all right? Does he need to go have a nap? He probably needs a lot of things actually. Can you use some of that hair? I feel like we need to chill. Hold on. Was Bart going to try something there at the same time I was doing that? I was going to try to cast sleep on him. But You want to cast sleep or did you guys want to gather and make a plan? You know, I think Kyber and Brink know each other pretty well. So I, I'm going to trust what he has to say on this matter. Okay, I was going to say, Brink Tussler, hold that thought. Try counting to 10. I know you can't. And then I gather up with my group and I say, all right guys, are we going to pick a fight with these dudes or what? What's the plan? Yeah. Yeah. He already tried to rub his sack all over him. Hairless Hutch, I know you're going to try to pull hairs. I know that that's your style. It's a little weird, unconventional, but I like it though. In a fight, anything goes. Ky baby. Yeah. What if we play a game of hide and seek? Can we just hide inside the tunnel? That's an idea. I have an idea that might work with that. Okay. I have an umbrella, you see. For any weather occasion, I know it's always carried with me. And I was wondering, do I see birds in the vicinity? Maybe pigeons? Yeah, yeah. There's, there's like, there's various kinds of birds around the area. I learned this from an old Scottish man. You just kind of pump the, the umbrella and it flaps and the birds get scared and then all those like I swore my birds and it like obscures us hiding into the hatch. That's actually pretty cool. I'm going to use that of my day to day life. Not a fan of birds. You make any noise while you're doing that. We can scare the birds. Maybe the poop ball over to you. I just really think that would be a fun idea. I like that. I like that. Yeah. Yeah. I'm down to play in this space. Give me an animal handling check. Excellent. I always handle animals with my umbrella. That's a 14. Yeah. You know, you, you manage to scare a fair amount of birds and they start flying around and they're causing a bit of a scene, like, you know, making noises and some are kind of swooping around and not knowing what to do with your, your umbrella situation. So, you know, for the moment, like everyone's kind of a little confused as to what's going on and Brink is like wondering what you're doing. He's watching you make those bird sounds and he's just continued to be confused by this band of babies and they're, they're, they're weird shenanigans. His puny brain can't handle what, what Doc's doing. Oh, it is work. Shall we hop down? Yeah. Yeah. So what's your guys is, what are you guys going to try to do to like resolve this whole Brink situation? Cause clearly Brink's not going to let you guys get into that hatch without any sort of like something in order to resolve his, his bullying. Well, he's distracted now, right? By the birds. Maybe we can, uh, let the guys, let's just make a break for it. Let's go. Scram. Yeah. Hutch will try to rip the door off and dive in bravely, of course. Okay. Can I help with opening the door? Well, is anybody else on the playground? I want to try to like distract Brink further. Yeah. There's other kids around. I would like to cast rumor. Oh, it is a spell I have as a bard. I magically spread a rumor of 10 words or less in a hundred foot emanation origin originating from, from you want to try that description again. Yeah. One more time. Yeah. One more time. You know, we normally edit this stuff out guys. You guys can see behind the curtain right now. Prestidigitation. Yeah. You magically spread a rumor of 10 words or less in a 100 foot emanation originating from you. Any creature within the emanation that can hear and understand three or more other creatures believes that they hear the rumor being repeated by someone nearby. Oh, okay. And I just want to say I got 10 words, right? Sure. Brink pooped his pants in math class last semester. Yeah. I knew it. Is there a check or something you got to do? Uh, no, it just happens. Okay. So yeah, you cast rumor and all of a sudden there's just whisperings going around of like people being like, did he poop his pants? I think it does. I heard it's really stinky too. Oh, yeah. Uh-oh. Stinky. Stinky like Stinky Dragon, the place that you guys should be, you know, joining our Patreon at stinkydragonpod.com and joining us for shenanigans like this. I'm letting you guys know. I don't think we've said this yet, but this is actually going to be part one of an adventure and the other part is only going to be available for our patrons. There's going to be more after this. We're going to play for a while and then we're going to be even more. So you guys want some in the infant Knights content. All you got to do is sign up at the lowest tier is $5, $5 a month, not much. Okay. I can't wait to hear what Eric's going to say when I reach out to him and say, I need you to reprise the, the, the young Brink Tesla. Hey, I love it. Okay. So yes, let's say that Brink and his little goblin dudes are sufficiently distracted for the moment. And what you guys are going to try to do is sneakily kind of use that as an opportunity to jump into the hatch. Yeah. Rip off the cover and let's go. Okay. Can I get stealth checks from everyone at advantage? I would like to do something in conjunction with my stealth check. Sure. What are you going to do? There's this famous song that we like to sing where I've come from. I'm going to take my umbrella and scoop up a bunch of sand and go, did it, did it, did it. Did it, did it, did it, did it. Inspiration dice if you don't have them ready. Thank you. Could I go last so that I could like cover where we went in with the mixture of sand? All right. Why don't you guys give me one at a time your highest number out of your stealth check. Like a 17 from sleek. Good. 23 from Bart. Very good. 20 from Hutch. Ooh. 11 from Kyborg. Okay. Had a nat 20 for 21. Very good. I got a critical fail. I'm going to say that with those numbers, you guys did well enough that you offset some of your lower numbers with like, you know, a nat 20 and stuff like that. So you guys do manage to kind of open up that hatch and start heading down into the hole. And then Bart, what do you do as you guys are, you're bringing up the rear? I want to like kind of shovel some of the sand in to kind of obscure the place we went in. Okay. Okay. Why don't you give me, let's call that a sleight of hand check just to see how well you cover your tracks. I rolled a one. So many critical fails. You just see a bunch of my hand prints everywhere in the sand with just a giant opening. I go for it. I like to think you start gathering it and you're just like putting it straight into your face and into your eyes. He's at the top of this like hatch. So all the sand is going down on everybody below him and you guys all have like your mouths open because you're breathing heavy. It's everywhere. I'm so sorry. I know it gets everywhere. You won't develop motor skills until much later. Okay. Good. Good. Good. When it's closed, is there like a lever or anything that maybe we could jam so it doesn't open again? No. Does anybody have something to like cause that to happen or is that just something you were thinking of? I was thinking like I could just jam a handaxe or something or maybe like a rod that can't move. I only had one. Dang. That'll be gum gum's birthday gift. Yeah. Yeah. We'll say that you put a kind of little, what do you have in your inventory that you're doing this with? Handaxe. Okay. So you put a little handaxe to kind of like jam. Yeah. That's sufficiently is able to do that. And yeah. When you guys just to kind of paint a picture of like what you guys are looking at as you're heading down, you know, you open this wooden hatch and it reveals this dark hole that's just big enough for a group of, you know, brave, if not slightly sandy dipered heroes that they squeezed through. And as you do that, you guys are descending a puff of cool earthy air which is upward, carrying with it the scent of like just slightly damp sand, forgotten toys and just a hint of goldfish cracker crumbs, long lost to time. And then yeah, a small wooden ladder descends in the darkness and you guys head down. Okay. Is it like a diagonal ladder? I listened. My parents at their new house have a new diagonal ladder and I keep resisting the urge to film a video to show you guys. We're going to film this later on. I'm going to show you this urge anymore. Okay. Wonderful. We're heading down into the sandbox catacombs and one by one, you all climbed downward, your footsteps echoing off of sandy walls, reinforced with like building blocks and Legos and the occasional Lincoln log. Yes, I know I'm old. The further you descend, the further you descend, the darker it seems to get. But as you reach the bottom, a green glow begins to appear and the tunnel opens into this wide chamber you guys find yourself in. Wow. Wrong time. It doesn't get out a lot. Yeah. Yeah. Yes. Andy. Wow. Yeah. Yeah. I love it. Yeah. You got to paint an audio picture here. I think Gus is telling us he wants to hear that more from us whenever we're playing. So in the center of this room you're in now is this giant glowing mushroom that's creating this kind of light source. And along the left side wall, you can see painted in like finger paints, the words welcome to the under sandbox heroes only no babies allowed. Well, sleek, it's been fun having you around bud, but I think it's time that we part ways. Oh man. He's just, he's just, he's just twisting your ankle or whatever the people say when they're kidding around, right, Kai board? That's a serious injury. Yeah. Sure. Sure. Sure. So directly ahead on the opposite side of the room that you guys are standing on, there's a small door that's kind of like built into the earth around it. It looks to be made from like an old refrigerator box. Yes. Wow. Well, do you think they have orange slices in there? It's covered in like these various stickers and finger painted like glyphs that they all glow with this kind of this faintest magical energy and like nailed to it in the middle of the door is this like power wheels, the steering wheel that's kind of like in the middle of it for like, I guess like a door handle and above it all is a sign that reads challenges ahead. Thumb suckers turn back. Well, sleek, it's super great to have you around, but it's I think it's time we want to get part ways. You turn around, sleek is absolutely sucking his thumb. Hold on. Hold on. You said there were like glyphs on the store. Yeah. Sleek approaches and he looks, he looks up and down the door and he goes, I know what that is. I know what that means. Now, guys, I definitely know what this means, but I'm really worried that like gum gum might not know what this means. Oh, I don't know what it means. Dr. or Bart, if you guys want to explain to gum gum what this means, that'd be nice. It'd be nice, right? It goes back to sucking his thumb. I'd like to pull out my magnifying glass and maybe Bart and I can look together. Yes. Let's both look through your magnifying glass because both of us definitely have vision issues. Why don't you a hem roll for an investigation check with advantage? Oh, yes. Okay. Thanks to Bart. 23. Oh, I helped. You helped. Thank you. Thank you for holding the magnifying glass. You approach one of the glyphs and you look at it really closely and it, it, you're, you're kind of like looking at this glyph. And this particular one looks like almost like a capital letter S, but it's kind of in this like thin diamond formation. And like the bottom of the S is like three lines and the top of the S three lines. Pre John. Yeah. By any chance, would it happen to look a little something like this? Oh my gosh, you know, the arcane glyphs of the understand box. Yeah. Yeah. Everyone did that little S thing, right? Yeah. And it was universal. Yeah. I'm starting to worry that this place is too cool for me. What do you guys do? I only know what it is. What do you want to do Bart? I don't know. So it's just, it's just this one letter. Well, I mean, you looked at that one glyph and yeah, you saw a little letter and you're in front of this kind of like a refrigerator box door. Okay. Could I try opening it? Sure. You open it and open. Is there anything inside of it? I've heard of these before. They're called doors. We're going to have a lot of trouble with these in the future. I do like that when I was like, what are you guys going to do? There was just silence as you guys are faced with the door. Bart turns around and sleeps lowering his finger gun. He's whole stirring it back into his little pocket. $1, Bob. Open the door. You win this round. Do you suck your thumb and cast? That's all he's like with this one other finger. That's how he takes out one of his eyebrows and he's just got one eye for a few months. Always practice trigger safety. Suck your thumbs responsibly. All right. So what do you guys do? Bart has now opened the door and you can see there's another room on the other side. Let's all hobble in together all the same time through the door. Yes. Everybody with crutches. Good chunk. Good chunk. Kyeberg will lead. Kyeberg will lead? Yeah. Just in a normal way. Oh, John, just like I climb up and down diagonal ladders. Yes. You guys walk through no traps spring on you, but as you step through this refrigerator door, you do find yourself standing at one end of a vast underground chamber and this one's lit by a bunch of the gentle glow of a bunch of glittery mushrooms clinging to the walls. Now the floor stretches out before you like a checkersboard. It's made entirely of brightly colored square tiles each about the size of like a storybook cover and they're arranged in a perfect grid. The grid goes five rows deep and further into the room and 10 tiles wide on each row and it's leading all the way to what you guys can see is another door on the other end of this room with a large number two written in crayon. Crayon. I don't know why I said that's so weird. Crane. That must be Brinks room. Number two. So you guys are like, you guys have just kind of like, you're at the entrance of this room and this checkerboard's like, you know, in the middle of it kind of a splitting the room in half. What do you guys do? Are there different colors on the checkers? Yeah. Do you want to walk closer and kind of see what's going on? Yes. I'm just asking. Yes. Yes. And then I also want to see if there's any like glyphs or anything on the walls or anything like that. Sure. Kai baby, why don't you roll me a investigation check. Okay. Here we go. Investigation or perception. Since you are looking around the rest of the room, I'll let you pick. Oh, God, it should have done perception. That's a plus two. Oh, that's okay. 14. Yeah. You walk up and you see that the walls are pretty blank other than the little mushrooms that are kind of giving you guys a little bit of a of an unearthly glow around you. But each tile that you're looking at, it does magically glow faintly as well in like a single solid color. Each of those tiles, there are red ones, yellow ones, blue, green, purple, and orange. The colors are scattered randomly with no noticeable particular pattern. And Kai Borg since you're the brave one, the brave baby who walked forward and approached this checkers board. You step closer and an ominous blustering voice echoes through the room. And it says to you all step with care and mind your stride. The wrongest step will make you slide. Choose the hues that don't bring woes or bounce back fast on tickled toes. I'm trying. Hairless touch. They said it said step with hair. So I don't think you're gonna be able to go. That's good because I don't like being tickled. Disembodied voice. You are within 500 feet of a playground. I just want to alert you that the courts may be coming after you. Just so you know, the nothing happens. Okay. Can you, uh, hey, voice? Can you rename those colors again? You can see in front of you. You don't have the voice to tell you the colors. No, no, no, we want to hear it. Actually, you know what? Bart rolled me a intelligence check. I want to see how well Bart knows his colors. I bet I know how to do this, but I'll do it after Bart. Intelligence check. Yeah. Why not? Coming in hot. Oh, seven. Bart, you can tell that there are some of the tiles that look very much like your red hair, but you forget the names of some of the other colors that are on the ground. Colors are hard when you're young, you know, that's one of the first things you learn. We got red grind. Blop. Blurple. Blurple's good. Blurple, maybe some glue. Can Kyborg take a step on the first row onto a red tile? Sure. You step onto that tile and nothing happens. Okay. That's what we want. Should I keep going guys? Yeah. Gum gum. But. Now, I'm not the smartest person here, but I'm pretty sure I heard that disinvited voice say these colors will make a slide. I say we just take a running start right next to Kyborg left and right. They're whispering. They're whispering. You can't hear. You're ahead of them over on the checkerboard and they're having their own little moment. Or here's a leak of deal. Is this because Bart heard what Sleek was saying? I see Kyborg take the first step and be okay. Okay. I think Kyborg might be onto something. I don't know if it was just pure luck or if he understands this game, but I think we should all just follow him. I think he's onto the red one. Yes. So let's go on the red one. Okay. Ready. Jump. Okay. Can we all fit on one? There's like one more red one in the first row, but there's only like 10 tiles per row. So Kyborg's on one of the reds. What do you, so what happens right now? I would all direct people to follow Kyborg. Okay. So just to follow Kyborg. Yeah. You got it, Bart. Okay. The tile is the size of like a storybook. So we can only fit one little baby at a time. Okay. I'll make my next move on the second row. Is there an orange tile? Yeah. Can I jump onto the orange tile? Yeah. It's a little bit further away. It's not like directly in front of you. So could you give me like acrobatics? Wait Kyborg, hold on to this rope. Okay. Okay. You have rope? Yeah. Why'd you bring a rope come down? Oh, it's jump rope. It's jump rope. Got it. It's jump rope. There you go. I like that. I'm holding onto the other end. Oh my gosh. I just rolled a nine. See if we have an inspiration die. I could borrow. I could give you like my PB and J for lunch. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh. Sleek absolutely. I don't know how to do this, but frozen inspiration die type work. May I accept that? DMs? Yeah. Yeah. That's our inspiration die is working out. Okay. I'll re-roll much better. Hey, Sleek. You're not so bad. I'm going to stop spreading their rumor that you wet the bed every night. That's a 21. You guys heard it. He can't take it back. No takes you back. He's. All right. Yeah. You do take a little bit of a jump and you do land on a orange tile. And yeah, at first you kind of like teeter, but you feel the confidence of your dwarven friend behind you and you're able to kind of hold your ground and stand there. I'm going to need a Constitution saving throw from Kai Baby. God, I thought I had this figured out. I knew exactly what I was doing. Were you going in rainbow order? Maybe. I was like red, orange. Constitution save. Yes. That is why am I rolling so badly? You rolled a Y. Kai Baby doesn't know his numbers. Five. Yeah. Out from the walls, kind of pushing through the sand come these little squirt gun nozzles. And you know, this orange liquid shoots at you and it actually gets into your eyes and kind of stings your eyes. And you do take, actually you don't even take any damage, but you are blinded for the rest of this room. Oh my God. You just maced a child. He kills Mr. President. Good. His cement boots keep him down. He just falls face plants right in front of him. So Kai Bork is standing. The orange tile is still there. He hasn't been moved, but he can't see anymore for the remainder of this room. Oh no. It's been poopy traps. Ew. Ew. Poopy. Could I look around and see if there's anything that also has colors in this room, other than the tiles on the floor? Sure. Give me a perception check. 19. Yeah. With a 19, you look around the room and like I said, it's just carved out sand walls with these little bluish green mushrooms all kind of like sticking out in those spots and they're all just kind of glowing. But there doesn't seem to be any like if you're looking for like writing or just direction of any kind, there's not really anything for you to see. And there's how many colors of tiles? Well, we already went over this. You can only identify one. Oh right. I think there were six. Whether or not we can remember the names, I believe I counted six. Yeah. Okay. And he stepped on the red one and nothing happened. And then when he jumped to the orange one, he got scabooey. You got pepper sprayed. Yeah. Okay. I want to bravely step forward onto the red one. And then from there, jump to the red one. I right before you do that, Hodge, I just want to turn to you and say, look, I've tried nothing and I'm all out of ideas. And so I believe in you and I want to give you some bark inspiration. So if you have a role, you can add a D6 to that. I believe in me too. I think you're making a good bet here, sleek. Yes, I love that. You step on the red of the first line is what I'm expecting. Same one that Kai Bork stepped on. Yeah. I think in Hodge's mind, red is safe. So he's going to step on the one that was safe that Kai Baby stepped on and then look for another red one to continue matching it in the next row. Okay. Yeah. You step on the first one and just like Kai Bork, nothing happens. And you look for another red tile. There's actually one that's actually pretty close to where you are. So you don't have to do an acrobatic check or anything. And you do step on that tile. As you step on that tile, I need you to make a dexterity saving throw. This is good. It's very good. That's a 17. Yes. Oh, that's very good. Yeah. As you step on that tile, you hear a mechanical click and that tile shoots up with a spring load underneath it that kind of launches you backwards. It kind of like has an as an angle. But Hodge is very agile and manages to do kind of like a little flip of air and lands on the ground back to where you guys are at the beginning unscathed. And that's how you do it with style. I do jazz hands. Yeah. What what class is Hodge, by the way? He's a rogue. I'm glad you asked this. I'm glad you asked this. That's a really good question. Herla's Hodge is a paladin. What? Is he a paladin? Yeah. Yeah. What? I don't know. Again, non-canonically, I figured he's got like an oath to mammals and an oath to hair. Yeah. My God. I was certain he'd be a rogue. Metagame wise, I played rogue a few times in our previous adventures. I didn't want to do rogue again. So I went paladin. Very good. Is Hodge or is a him like a tinkerer or something? Yes. He was a bit of an artful person. Artificer, if you will. Oh. I've heard of an artificer here. Speaking of, while you've all been doing this, he's been working with the mushrooms, putting together some string with some coils of metal. And it turns to gum gum and says, gum gum, I have this contraption I've built that I think would be perfect for you. What is it? I call it a cat apult. And so you have to pretend you're a cat and then I launch you across the room. Okay. Cub gum's already on all fours and playing like a cat. He's acting like an animal again. His parents told us to watch out for this. What's that sound like, Chris? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Don't let him near the sandbox. He's going to make so many candy bars. God, I have a spell. It's called catapult. You have a spell that's called catapult and what does this spell do? It launches an object. Big quotes on that word. Okay. Wayne, one to five pounds, clearly gum gum, right? Yep. Yes. Launches them 90 feet in a direction I choose. That's some forceful. That's a big catapult. I like to over crank my inventions. Sure. What is, what do you do to get to check to see what happens? There is a deck save that gum gum has to make. Okay. Okay. So you have crafted a catapult. Yes. And gum gum is, are you obliging gum gum and getting in the seat of this? Yes. But put this, put my leash on. I take the rope that I gave Kybor going to put it around my neck. So it's like a leash. That's a bad idea. I was just saying, oh my god, what's going on? I have a very loose grip on this leash because I was already weirded out by it to begin with. Okay. Then who makes the deck save? Is it gum gum? He can make it. I have the DC and it's a deck save of 14. Okay. Go for it, gum gum. All right. Deck save. He might take some damage after this as well. That's a nine. I will give you my inspiration because I was inspired to create this machine for you. Oh, 17. Ooh. It's pretty good. Oh, okay. So he launches forward 90 feet. Yes. I'm thinking on like a kind of a 45 degree angle. Okay. Yeah. As you guys are, you know, facing this checkerboard, you hear a spring. And gum gum is launched into the air. Too good. And you hear the Doppler effect of the cat. Fast buy. But unfortunately, gum gum doesn't go very far. He lives eight lives left. He stops mid air at the start of the checkerboard and seemingly kind of stops and hits like an unseen wall. Oh, no. And takes three damage. Oh, gum gum. I heard of a story like this where it was a story of the cabin in some woods, I think. Yeah. I've heard also is this story with a coyote and a road runner. That too. Meow. Meow as he slides down this unseen wall. So is he in the middle now or no? I know. I think I hit like he didn't go. He didn't go past a single row of them. He stopped at the start of it. I think we have to try again. I think it's what we're learning. Yes. Yes. Experimentation. Don't worry. I still have eight more lives. What? Okay. Can we recall what the poem was? Because I wonder if there's wordplay where it's like the first letter of each color tells us what pattern to go. I can't think of anything else. Why don't you guys roll a let's call it a wisdom check. Okay. Are we all rolling this? Whoever wants to try who's if you guys are putting your brain towards trying to figure out this puzzle roll a wisdom check. If you're playing with the sand don't roll a wisdom check. Eight. I rolled a 17. 15 for cyborg. Mm-hmm. Guys, I really think we're just supposed to slide across this thing. Just a running start. I got a five. I got a one. I got disadvantage on this still. I'm not like jittery from the gum drop. I got a 12. Okay. Thank you. Yeah. Doc. Yes. You as you're kind of like you know with with your methodical brain you know you're looking around trying to figure out there might be some. Also taking notes from the previous experimentation with gum gum learning for a mistake. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Physics have been learned. You see something in hairless hutch's pocket glowing a little bit. Ah yes. We're in the hairless hatch. So what should we look at in that hairless hutch. All right. I go talk to the hutch. Hutch. I noticed there's something in your pocket. It seems to be glowing. It's not hair. Oh it's not. Okay. That was so fast. That was so fast. Is there anything besides not being hair in there. Oh yeah. Those dirty canvas squares. Let me see what's in there. Do not look at my left pocket. We forgot about the thing that helps us when we need help. Yeah. Well we used them already. Yeah. Yeah. I tried. I didn't do anything. They were worthless. Yeah. You only have two left. I'll pull out one of the dirty canvas squares. Sure. Hutch be careful with that. We might need to rub it on Brink's face later. Okay. Okay. It's true. Yeah. You look at one of the little patches of canvas and some writing starts appearing by ink kind of bleeding into the canvas. Wow. Hutch how good are you at have you learned your reading yet. I can kind of fake it. You know I have full faith in you after saying that. Well good news as you're looking at these words a voice starts coming from the canvas as well. It's haunted. What do you do? Throw it to the ground and start stomping on it. As you're stomping on it in between the steps you can hear the sound of a a nanny that lives in San Francisco saying Begin where blush and bashful meat then step where sunshine forms your feet skip the root that rabbits crave its color bolded shant behave look to skies for where to go then leaves and lavender and the shore can you hit the rewind button on that. I think I missed one of those. Please and lavender. I would say then it's you said it's bold at first so probably like red red red and sunshine is yellow yellow yellow and then you said look to the sky so blue before that was the root that rabbits crave which I assume is carrot which is orange orange. Yes. And then there was something after that I missed before skies but did it say skip the root that rabbits crave one more time. I'll tell you what hutch roll me an arcana check to see if you can get the magics to give you the clue yet. Okay if you can play it at point five times with subtitles that you can now you guys see the difficulty I got a six on that but I'm gonna use my inspiration to I and I try that again zero you rolled out of one with a negative one on our corner. Yeah I mean the words are still there but you you know you guys are babies and words are hard so the the voice doesn't come through again. Listen I've I've I was tutored by someone who taught me this skill that I will pass on to you hutch and I hand him a hook and I say this is the hook of phonics. It works for me. Yes. Just you. Then I will give you another roll of arcana. When the first two were so great let's see what the third is like. I know why not one more. We're gonna find out at the end of this adventure it's just a regular hook and the magic was inside hutch all along. It's 13. 13 is enough the voice comes through again. Begin with blush and bashful meat then step where sunshine warms your feet skip the root that rabbits crave its color bold its shant behave look to skies for where to go then leaves and lavender in the show. Oh so green and then purple okay green purple yeah and we skip orange okay it looks like it's is it red yellow blue green purple yeah I was so close I had the idea it's just a dang it you you Kai board get I Kai borned it as I just remembered the names of a few more colors it came to me yeah the colors leaves okay what do you guys do while they're listening to the the words being spoken again I think sleek is like behind them like jumping onto the first square like the red square okay and then he's listening to them say out loud the colors as it goes on okay yellow sleek jumps to yellow okay blue sleek jumps to blue okay oh I don't have I learned that one yet uh he jumps to green okay purple jumps to purple purple's a little far so give me a acrobatics sleek eyes it sleek would like to try to do a back flip onto the purple one nice so you want to do this at disadvantage yeah do it athletics acrobatics I want acrobatics okay okay wouldn't that be what it is yeah because that's more dexterity basically I think athletics is more strength athletics is strength those are the council of dms well hello there well that's a 12 that'll do it you land on the per on the on the yeah 10 points you're on the last row what do I do now I think you just walk forward he's backwards though he did it back flip he starts to take a step forward and stops and then starts walking backwards very slowly excellent which way are you facing right now if I back flipped I imagine I would be facing the crew okay okay so you you back step to the other side of the roof yes okay you managed to get to the side you are on sand I'm blinded so it didn't count I didn't see it okay cyborg I'll walk you there buddy okay just hold on to my hand okay you got it can I also do a piggyback ride on cyborg as he's being pulled the ultimate physical test like the presidential fitness exam look look he's his eyes are blinded so his other senses are heightened he can do this I can smell and oh my god gum gum needs a bath and gum gum licks himself like a cat why is gum gum one of the little animal kids he's a little furry so okay yeah so I imagine you guys do the same pattern of colors yeah we don't need to go to another game and I need an acrobatics check to make it to the purple from everyone okay yeah if you guys are all doing that game I trust you cyborg I will do whatever you roll okay I rolled a six I rolled a 22 action search I got a 18 okay you guys all make it to the purple except for as Bart is landing on the purple he's kind of teetering off of it like like a toe is on him but he's falling backwards I want to I want to reach out I want to catch him yeah can we grab I want to push him no I want to allow you to do what you want to do is hutch pushing yeah hutch go for the hair how about you guys do opposing strength checks which which means cyborg cyborg okay well I wanted to grab two okay then hutch I need you to oppose two strength checks okay first one is gum gum second one's cyborg okay oh no cyborg let your senses guide you like the force and I want to give him Bart a inspiration what's party it was a d4 let's let's resolve cyborg first would you roll cyborg 10 10 and then hutch you rolled against that 16 okay he's he has pushed your hand off of Bart I'm blind come come wouldn't you roll 22 and then would you roll hutch 19 which I thought was going to be great I was rooting for you hutch I was I'm just here for the ride you get distracted you know by gum gums he's got like a little curl of hair coming out of his little hat um that kind of and gum gum is able to use his like toddler strength you know where toddlers just don't know how strong to grip on something um and pulls Bart forward onto the other side of the room and you are facing that door with a number two on it and you guys have all managed to get there and let's say at this point uh cyborg you've gotten been able to rub the orange juice out of your eyes was it literally orange juice am I allowed to know what it can I taste it here it is orange juice oh okay now let's say it's uh ecto what is that like the punch the ecto cooler cooler that's what it was that's green though isn't it maybe it's tang I think it was orange ecto coolers for sure green I thought it I thought it was orange too no like the packaging was that but the drink was going orange ecto cooler color of liquid this is a very important piece of information with the AI I don't want it this is what I was for it's green okay okay but it's orange flavored okay we'll eat in the middle I feel on that um I don't think we were wealthy enough to order it neither okay so you guys are facing that door now gang we learned this last time these doors needed to go through them you know last time we went through the door we found this maze of colors and some not so great stuff happens so I'm a little hesitant to go through the door again you're right don't sleep sleep sleep put your finger guns down there you go gum gum will go through the door oh my god you're and gum gum does what with the door opens it he opens the door and it's all he says he doesn't even touch it he just says yeah he just wills it to me it's voice activate it opens and you see before you another chamber and it's this one's shaped like a big half circle with six small tunnels kind of carved into the dirt wall ahead of you and each tunnel is ringed in like pretty crayon colored smudges and these random glued on googly eyes and this kind of tattered banner made of a bunch of taped together piece of construction paper hangs overhead and it reads noise will lead your steps astray the careful ear will find the way and as you're standing in this kind of chamber which I assume you've walked in the air is still and it's almost like your own heartbeat feels loud in this room something about these tunnels feels like I might be waiting for you let me let me make a pitch to the group here go ahead I was never good at baseball I won't throw anything at you when you're not expecting it so uh you know based on what that paper says talking about noise and sound and there's there's two people in here who really know their sounds real well am I right sleek fellow bard oh sleek looks around that's you buddy oh yeah sorry we know our sounds we got all of them and so many sounds we could even harmonize ready thank you hairless ash thank you I will up your tip by 20% sleep bows all right what do you guys do could I start going and like listening in to each door you said there's six of them they're like yeah these like holes in the in the earth but they're like these tunnels and they uh they kind of quickly fade off into pitch blackness um so what order do you want to go into try and check out what's with these tunnels I would like to just go to the the first one I saw the the one I guess closest to the left the far left now we'll call that number one good choice Bart thank you all right I'm gonna need everyone to be very quiet sleek maybe at the same time as I checked door number one you checked door number two you got it boss okay uh Bart give me a perception check for a tunnel one tunnel one coming in at 21 cardboard goes whoa I think I heard something um yeah you kind of pressed your ear towards that tunnel and you hear a sound you hear the sound of someone just kind of whistling a little tune oh could I get what that sounds like I wonder if that's copyright free yeah and since sleek is doing this simultaneously give me a perception check for your tunnel you got it that's uh that's a not 20 nice you hear the sound of a faint giggle like a small child kind of just kind of giggling to themselves vine doesn't like that I think I hear a giggle monster at the end of this tunnel is it like that's like uncannily exactly what it sounds like just a pitch black room and from the corner of the room you can hear that sound I think we should go down this tunnel I think this is the one should we all listen to individual ones oh yeah how many tunnels are there again there's six yeah yeah I'll take the farthest left one unless Bart already got that one he did so you can take three second you can take my tunnel cyborg if you want to you could sleep cyborg could take three and then who will take four young gum will take four five Gus and then a ham will take the the rear okay uh cyborg give me a perception check reception please be something cool please don't be creepy laughter please don't be creepy baby laughter I believe that is a 13 creepy baby laughter creepy baby laughter you hear just the sound of water drops kind of like almost like they're hitting a pond or a small body of water just okay communicate that to the group okay that sounds dangerous I think we should swap cyborg that's good that's very good there's the foley work for us gum gum since you're listening as well when she can be a perception check 14 you hear the sound of like what sounds like a like a almost like a small little creature uh like the sound of a smaller creature moving through the leaves on the ground you know that kind of like sound is just like scuffling and like dry leaves because a big creature or small like a small like almost like a like a mouse gum gum could you recreate that sound for us actually what I get guys I think I'm gonna stole a slurpee hutch give me a perception check for your tunnel you got it dude that's a six you listen to your tunnel did you hear nothing guys this is the right way it nailed it okay and if we want to wait for everybody a ham once you go I walk past hutch and I go you have to say this to the silence out there hello darkness my old friend it's a real song yeah now I'm gonna walk to the sixth one I rolled a 19 you hear the sound like a hive of bees makes is it bees or is it buzzy and the chest buzz buzz buzz buzz buzz buzz buzz buzz buzz buzz buzz buzz buzz buzz buzz buzz buzz buzz yeah you hear like the the distant sound of just of what seems to be like a large what do you guys do the canvas thing is that we already opened that right but we had three and I used one yeah what was the riddle again was there another one I only wrote down the beginning because I couldn't write fast enough but the beginning was noise will lead your steps astray the careful ear will find the way so then thank you doctor him I mean doc so the silent one is the way to go well he he rolled a I don't know metagame he rolled a six he's the only one who didn't roll as high as the rest of us I didn't roll I put my ear up to the tunnel and I cuffed my hand around it like this inspiration die for hutch staying in character without he's doing this is could I seeing that hutch is listening like that could I go over and help him and listen in as well sure 23 yeah you kind of uh cozy up next to hutch and Bart you hear the sound of wind passing through wind chimes the tinkling sound sorry the cloth thing is it glowing like it was before from hutch's pants hey why don't we why don't we take a look at one of those canvases okay that's uh hold on that's right pocket okay uh yeah hutch will reach in and pull out a canvas to see if uh it's doing anything yeah it's not showing anything right now give me an uh intelligence check well could I yeah what I was gonna do is let's try to put it to my ear because it's a careful ear okay and and listen to it but yeah intelligence check that's uh 16 oh okay yeah as you put it to your ear you do hear a voice kind of say to you step with stillness calm and true for shadows come to swallow you echoes lie and giggles roam but hums will guide the soul back home hums will guide would that be like a whistle or a or a bee or a bees I think maybe we just need to sneak and be real quiet step with stillness calm and true so I think we have two options here hutch whisper is the best thing ever well it turned a little dorkiest there so I was like I did I think we have two options here all right we can either all as a group go down hutch's tunnel or six children all by themselves can go individually alone down each of their own tunnels and that's never gone bad before ever ever before so I leave it to a vote on whatever you guys want to do number five it's not a tunnel it's a hutch hole to the hutch hole I feel like mine goes into the city sewer system so I don't think we should go in there unless sleek wants to be very brave you have the whistle the kid laughing yep dripp drop small creature moving through leaves the wind chimes and then bees I'm gonna say maybe not the bees or the laughing kid personally are you sure the bees make him tummy yeah well maybe it's not bees maybe it's someone that's humming but there was someone whistling in mine it says hums will guide the soul back home just doesn't seem like a party of impetuous children you guys are all being methodical and careful what's going on what's going on are you babies or are you you heroes well we have to be heroes we have to be heroes to be in here hmm yeah actually I think my parents are gonna want to talk with mud's aunt about how she sent six kids down to these deep tunnels by themselves well she did disappear she might have just been a figment of our imagination I would go in the bees I want to go to the humming is it like the bees they make honey yes they do yeah didn't that's when that comes I think we all need uh buddies right so gum gum and I will go down the bees and then the pairs you know go off into another tunnel why don't you guys just go down first we'll wait out here nice we're so in the sex if this is insane doc did you bring an epi pin yeah we'll go to the bees and then if we die then you'll know not to follow us exactly yeah the perfect plan don't forget if anything happens I need my glasses is that Gus saying that or is that girl a slash it's from uh that's what they call it can say in that girl what is it called the what is it it's Anna Klumsky saying it from uh my girl my girl oh right right right all right I need a decision gum gum and I start walking out yeah we go to the bees okay are you guys holding hands as much as I can with crutches yes okay you guys uh walked towards the tunnel and as you pass this kind of threshold of where the light is okay do it real quietly yeah as everyone's watching I assume gum gum and Dr. Hem she's kind of almost like all of a sudden rapidly disappear from whoa completely okay no sound no evidence of them you guys find anything you can't hear anything I could die oh god they're they turned off their cams that's pretty good does that mean we should go in after them or we need to save them my best friend wouldn't leave behind come on Kyvor and see comes starts taking off down the tunnel after him uh I run I turn back around and I shrug my shoulders and Bart in hairless hutch and then I keep running after sleek come on Bart okay I trust you guys don't um yeah so sounds like the four of you run towards tunnel number six and just like as you guys are seeing the person in front of you just completely disaparating from existence and who took up the rear I think Bart and hutch probably me Bart as you pass through and walk through the tunnel there is a moment of just pitch blackness where you can't and then all of a sudden you're standing in room with your five other compatriots and you are facing another door it's white and there's clouds everywhere six bodies found in the city sewer system it's it I misspoke you're actually you are um not in a door you're in the next you're another chamber you're in all another another chamber interesting and this chamber smells a little weird hmm it wasn't me it smells like an old batch of like uneaten halloween candy that's kind of past its expiration full-size candy bars or in the center of this room that's kind of dimly lit sits a small round table like a plastic one from like a play set okay and on top of it placed carefully on a large paper napkin that's like covered in glittery glue are four oversized jelly beans each one big enough to hold in two hands there's a red one a yellow one a green one a black one each gleaming with this kind of inviting sugary shine and written around the table in purple marker reads bite the right bean win the right prize pick the wrong bean oopsie surprise okay guys we have to be really careful because I'm pretty sure that black jelly bean is black licorice the worst of them all and so we definitely don't want to bite into that one I feel like Sleek's favorite flavor would be black licorice she's more for me okay bite the right bean get the right prize something about a stinky surprise can I pull out the uh square of canvas again and take a look at it just to be safe sure I'm gonna need an intellect intelligence check again for this one you can call it an intellectual check if you want an intellectual check intellectual check holds I don't know why I'm really so well on those days that's a 16 wow that's not bad hutch smartest member of stinky dragon lore yeah hutch do you do the same thing where you put it to your ear uh I don't think this time no I think last time there was a precedent for it this time he would just pull it out and look at it you do see ink kind of pour out of this uh you have the kind of spread over this canvas again and you do hear words one more time and they say one is spicy but makes you freeze another so sweet it sparks a sneeze one tastes burnt but makes you sore the best is sour it opens the door uh okay so we want the sour one so tears red that one might be burnt everything I learned about candy I learned from sour Amy so it makes sense that the sour one opens the door yeah what did did Amy have like a favorite color or anything like that oh she did I can't I think it was maybe mystery maybe it was green maybe black is burnt I think red spicy yellow I feel like that would be sour and green would be sweet green would be sour yeah yeah I think it's like green apple yeah Dr. Hem steps forward and says I never get candy and picks up the one that's nearest him perfect I like this what color is closest to Dr. Hem I'm gonna let you pick how many are there again four four the third one red yellow green it's a green uh yeah okay uh you pick up that jelly bean yes and do what put it all in my mouth okay it's big enough that you couldn't shove the whole thing in your mouth but it sounds like you're taking a big old job I'm playing in this space unlock the headgear open hinge the jaw you guys see one of the most frightening things you've ever seen in your life where this young toddler unhinges their jaw and opens up like the mummy from the mummy and just consumes this entire green jelly bean guys remind me to apologize to Dr. Hem earlier for talking over him I just I just I feel like I didn't do that right I need a constitution saving throw from Dr. Hem from Doc I thought it was from us from the horror we just watched yeah yeah it's a natural one okay no you start feeling freezing cold and you take one cold damage which one did you eat green green green is spicy wait no cold freeze sorry yes you feel a spice in the back of your tongue followed by a very strong cold feeling I hate you the one yeah do you unhinge your jaw or do you just take a big bite gum gum looks at Dr. Hem yes and then just like turns away from him like he's afraid and then eats the jelly bean okay you went for the yellow one yeah you take a bite of the yellow one and you feel the most lip puckering sour flavor you've ever felt in your life lemon I forgot about lemons and in front of you you see a door appear on the other side of the room as in it's so sour that I'm seeing things yeah it's kind of blurry and a little like watery because your eyes are really put but you can you can see something has appeared on the wall across you and the rest of you you do like a look across that's gum gum's happy face he's happy can I help lead Dr. Hem because he's frozen yeah I'll guide him to the door or do we need to all take a bite I know the door's appeared and it's it's there it's it's solid okay right this is way doc good job all right door can I keep the jelly bean uh yeah what do you do with it can I put it in my pocket yeah you kind of can fit it like it's really big so you can fit it like sticking out of your pocket and as you walk towards the door you can feel your pocket getting loose again you turn around you see the jelly bean is on the table again canonically baby gum boom is wearing jinko jeans yeah we have muddy buddy what was he muddy daddy muddy daddy and gum bum all right let's bravely go through the door okay okay do you open the door yeah and then this like this next chamber it's small and oddly kind of quiet not really much to to see or hear the walls here are a lot smoother than the other rooms and they're rounded into kind of a dome roof it's like a giant bowl carved out into the earth and in the center is just simply what looks to be a large dark hole in the ground and the only light in the room is coming from a few little crystals in the walls pulsing with red energy and there's no sign no writing anywhere it's just a hole in the ground the center and it's kind of big enough for just kind of like one of you guys to be able to like maybe fit through that's your experience with holes aren't you yeah that's a classic example of a hutch hole there I think I'm gonna go uh wiggle my way in there uh and hutch makes a beeline for it just like how we're walking yeah do you want to hold like a jump rope or something in hutch I know a dm who hates that stuff so this is terrifying by hearing hutch wiggle forward like a lizard like something from uh rango okay so um you look into the hole as you approach it and it almost immediately vanishes into complete darkness you can just barely see that at some point it does kind of curve a little bit almost like curving up a little bit but just faintly and there's a there's a breeze that drifts up from below it's cool and it smells like sugar and oh that familiar voice on the breeze whispers to you all um and it says those who wait will never know what lies beyond unless they go I jump in the hole I jump on top of doctor on the top of the way narrow you're climbing down I jump on top of you okay got it got it got it wait explain to me how this is happening so if he's going like this I'm imagining like going down the hole head first climbing in like this okay actually funny thing happens as you both approach that hole and make the decision to kind of head down I need a wisdom saving throw oh I'm great at these hutch was practicing his my main skills for seven that's 13 that's a nine okay hutch you do manage to kind of make your way down and start kind of uh shimmying down this hole kiborg I think you're scared of the dark that's impossible I have a hold on hold on dark vision he said night vision Chris I'm thinking about that Barney animation yeah kiborg is standing there at the edge of this hole and he's kind of like he's pulling a dock he's frozen in fear oh god what are you guys gonna do kiborg just went down the hole maybe we just dropped frozen to him down the hole after him okay well kiborg is standing at the edge of the hole not going in oh he is frozen in fear it's okay kiborg you need a hug you want a hug yeah sure sure I'll take it again don't tell so put it out he really wants a hug should we all get it on this action yeah do you want to get it on this action sleep yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah I think if there's a group hug happening sleep is going to be the first one in there throw me in the hole okay gum gum and sleep give me a persuasion check that is a 22 whoa and a 20 those are some good hugs I'm very good at kiborg you feel one of the most powerful things ever the power of friendship and wow it overwhelms you and yeah don't don't fight these feelings kiborg don't fight don't don't run away from these feelings okay these are friends these are friends that are here to help you you know what you feel like you can go down the hole why does the power of friendship smell so bad you got you got me and gum gum really I get lean in close like a little kiborg I know I know you're just doing this because I'm afraid of the dark and you're trying to you're trying to really really help me save face here so I appreciate it buddy but you don't got to be scared anymore what did you eat for breakfast sleep on your rings this is the only thing you eat nice callback that's good uh kiborg you managed to jump in and disappear down the great I'll go next blue skidoo and we can too and I jump in after him yeah I need a wisdom check from both of you okay wisdom saving throw sorry wisdom saving throw from both of you 17 15 yeah you both managed to muster up and you guys look and you both are holding hands you didn't even realize you were doing that and you both together wow and you guys disappear from sight we both jump in at the same time and just wedge yep yep and you kind of have to like kind of like breathe in and out and kind of create like suction areas and then you guys can like go down a little bit at a time and they're gone that sounded graphic shall we go in together boss yeah you want to like hug and then jump in seem to work for them pretty well I don't know if I've ever had a hug before oh god oh my god that is so sad well I I don't want to break anymore of your very frail bones yes thank you very much doc canonically is like Samuel Jackson from a break yeah uh okay a hug yeah uh wisdom saving throw with advantage oh wow gonna need that 11 a 10 both of those are just good enough and you both managed to get down into the hole and what you find is that it is a slide you guys are sliding down yes feel free to enjoy the ride it's very tempted to go this is barter and I can't yeah so you guys all head down this slide and Bart's the last one to make it through and Bart you land with a soft like flump into what is kind of like a like a kiddie pool and uh not a flump a flump but the kiddie pool is not full of water it's packed with shimmering pixie dust sugar oh and you guys are all in this kiddie pool but I dip my finger in and give it a little taste yeah rub it on your teeth it tastes fantastic the best pixie dust ever like this is like vintage the good stuff can I dip my mouth into it just just just just shovel with your lower jaw don't let doc near it again kiborg you actually feel better if you need a hit point you gain a hit point if you're at top you get a one temporary hit point don't worry i'll throw up here in a second okay ahead of you is a narrow hallway and it glows with a soft green light you guys head in that direction I assume it's the only way that you can go from here kiborg goes down and put his shadow boxing because he's so hyped up on sugar he's got what we call the zoomies yeah is there enough candy for more yeah I mean it's a kiddie pool full of it gum gum eats gum gum gets one health point yeah I need it I thank you I turn to hutch and I pull out my hammer I go they'll never take me back let's go build a tunnel let's go hammer it some shot shank there okay you guys head towards this tunnel I assume just moving things forward yeah and you see along this tunnel the heads of stuffed animals line the walls oh bears badgers unicorns a worm with a crown they're all stuffies not real they all stare at you silently as you walk past their eyes feel like they're following you like a dog's eyes like dog's eyes we have to be very careful a mighty hunter has to live here if you have hunted down all of these stuffy beasts mounting their heads along this wall this is a sign of intimidation as you head down the end of this tunnel at the far end you find what looks to be a giant pile of just multicolored pillows and resting on top of those pillows is a wooden box and the lid of this wooden box looks like it's shaped like a like a giant badger would one say that it's a box that one could burrow in you know that's up to you perhaps a burrow box should we borrow the burrow box it's good could I go up to it and look closer yeah see if there's anything special about the box let's all hurry up and go look nice one how long you've been holding on that one guys I've had a few in my mind I've been sitting on waiting that's why I pay you the big bucks that one felt preloaded yeah you want to go up and you you're you're investigating I assume is what it sounds like why don't you give me an investigation check then what's in the box I don't know because I rolled a nine we're too young to have seen that movie that's scary you have to be at least seven years old yeah you look and it you know it's a wooden box almost like like a like a toy chest kind of box and it has a badger uh on as the as the lid that's kind of like uh smiling oh this is cute is there any like poems or anything we should be listening for this is it this is the gift for mud for muddy duddy it's a box his aunt aunt forget how you guys say it uh said something about how you he'd love a burrow box for his birthday so and I mean this is a box I'm sure it's safe letter rip go open it up in the back I work braces okay I'll give it an open you're going for the lid to open it up yep give me a strength check I meant to bring along some mushrooms for this badger so I don't know I forgot 18 you try really hard to open up this box you got some strong halfling that's a stout halfling right there and dense it doesn't manage to open at all it seems to be like just stuck shut no I think this might take more than one of us or the finger guns appear I've been waiting for this moment for about two hours and 17 minutes give us what do you do sleek that's a solid 19 roll in the hit I aim my gun I look down the sights I go I feel like I could be a really good archer one day I just fire at the box yeah at the box okay way to go you're destroying our friends yeah so you rolled a 19 on a hit so is there damage there is it is two two ones oh it's okay it's a two damage two total points of damage it's not bad okay you do shoot the box with your finger guns what's that spell called again finger guns okay and the box the lid doesn't open but the box does manage to kind of like teeter back a little bit and kind of like move a little bit and the whole room just ever so slightly shutter a little bit so it's simple we just got to shoot the box all the way back up the the hole the whole way back maybe we have to put the box in the ground or maybe only mud could open it we bet the badger you would take the ball just maybe take it yeah I'd like to roll for a gift receipt yeah can we pick up the box I mean you can do what you want you just got to tell me what you're gonna do pick up the box how heavy is it gum gum goes to pick up the box yeah any pets the badger well he does it that's nice give me a strength check gum gum you can do it gum gum I believe 20 20 30 20 30 20 gum gum goes up and flexes those baby orc muscles maybe pulls up his diaper just a little bit to kind of muster up extra courage yeah right up above the belly button yeah and he reaches down and he goes to pull up this box with all of his infant strength and he over calculates and pulls the box all the way up over his head and he's holding the box above his head in triumph and as he picks up the box like I said it's surprisingly light and I think you can faintly hear like a little bit of like a playful growling coming from the box oh my goodness it's a pet you almost made stuffing out of that badger I can't believe I shot that box who am I oh my god were there air holes in the box uh no there's no air holes in the box we gotta hurry we gotta go now well as you're holding the box of your head the pillows that it was sitting on they begin to like twist and stretch uh and you realize they're not exactly just pillows oh no they're like they're shaped and in like familiar looks they're like assorted animal shapes these are like squish mellows and as they move and not sponsored not not sponsored they are you can tell that they're kind of all fused together and you know there's like animal arms stitched to legs and legs merged into bellies and as it contorts into what kind of starts looking like a almost like a recognizable humanoid form you see some large black buttons kind of like swirl across the surface of these squish mellows and they form together on what seems to be like the head of this thing into four angry eyes oh guys my parents accidentally rented a cure one time because they thought that it was a cartoon this is bad news we need to we need to kill this thing yes whoa is it like like megatron type thing like it's all like as it kind of rises up it kind of starts standing on these legs and a giant stuffy creature is looming over you and it stretches and out comes one two three four arms and a head atop of it shaped like a dragon i'm watching blaine's face to see when he realizes it it roars but not like a typical like uh organic beast or animal there was there was it's just quadrant but with a horrifying squeak of like a thousand squeaky toys like crushed at once that's a good ooh i like that yes stuffy drun has awakened roll for initiative oh my god i have kyborg sleek hutch i already have rolled for initiative i need bart gum gum and an hem you got it i'm so committed to the infinites that i've decided i'm not taking a bathroom break i'm in character i have a diaper on right now whole stream whole stream guys 18 a real man just pees his pants without a diaper 10 for all the cool kids are doing a baby's gotta do what a baby's gotta do 10 for gum gum bart did an 18 doc for you oh oh you're four okay kyborg and sleek i need your roll off you both rolled 13s you want to do dexterity or i'm an 18 for dexterity i am at a where's my dexterity 12 for dexterity very good okay thank you for that yes all right so you guys are in the middle of this chamber there is just pieces of toys and stuffies all surrounding you gum gum you are holding this badger themed box let's just assume it's the burrow box and top of the order is bartholomew fin after bart will be kyborg and then sleek have at thee but i'm bum bum you remind me one more time of his name oh stuffy drun stuffy drun stuffy drun all right stuffy drun for some reason i feel like you're gonna be an enemy of ours the creature goes like confused is he kind of by himself like we're not near him right like it's he's like at one side of the room and we're on the other side i would say that since you guys fell down the slide you're like a good like 15 feet from him gum gum is right next to him oh okay i would like to cast dissonant whispers well how does that spell work so for this spell i whisper a discordant melody that only one creature of my choice within range can hear racking it with terrible pain the target must make a wisdom saving throw on a failed save it takes 3d6 of psychic damage and must immediately use its reaction if available to move as far as its speed allows away from you gotcha but we'll just start with that what do you whisper to it to make it feel bad you're not as soft as you look such an insult i covered gum gum's ears what do i roll do i is there a roll that i do for save yes uh it's a save of 13 of what a wisdom wisdom i rolled uh six okay so that's a fail that does 3d6 that is eight points of psychic damage and it also must immediately use its reaction to move as far away as its speed allows all right well stuffy drun is recoiling in in squeaky pain just the sound of like a bunch of rubber chickens all like uh being ripped open and it runs back further to the back of this room away from y'all i was right next to it i get to swing and max yeah yeah you get a opportunity attack why not um yeah that's 24 to hit 24 does hit when she rolled me some melee damage that was a six i don't have oaks ax equipped so what are you hitting it with i think i just headbutted it okay so unarmed strike yeah yeah i'm i'm holding the chest right yeah so i go bam okay and then you what damage was that again six six okay thank you very much uh and then part what do you do with the rest of your turn i think that's it okay doki we have kideleus hi baby is okay before i left my house did i happen to steal my mom's bow the longbow of crystallina or am i just rocking the longbow you're just rocking your little longbow that you've made on your own okay great okay the not so longbow the not then i'm gonna take aim at squashtrin squish uh squish that guy the bad guy and and i mumble under my breath to be like this is for my parents who i'm gonna pretend they're dead but they're they're not dead yet it's just his like is made up like dark backstory but his parents are at home like watching matlock yeah yeah all right and then i take a shot and that is oh that's not bad that's a 27 27 we'll hit yeah we'll roll for damage oh come on did an eight and it rolled to the two that's a six six what piercing okay oh which you know come on it's gonna squeaky toys yeah it takes it takes some damage uh yeah one of your your arrows do stick into like its shoulder and then uh i'm gonna move like away from the group but i'm gonna keep equidistant from the thing just to spread us out in case there's like area of attack stuff right yeah you're you're like on the edge of the room so you could like move back maybe five feet to the wall perfect and as you move back five feet and you you're kind of like looking at your uh your handiwork the big stuffy does actually look at that arrow on its shoulder and it kind of like almost like inflates a little bit and the arrow just kind of pops out oh it's like a zit is that what you do do you flex your zits off you don't no oh okay you'll have to teach me that one day kyborg leak kyberg's right kyberg's right i think we all need to split up that'll it'll really really distract him and i'm gonna take off running after kyborg so like five feet back yeah yeah yeah yeah and i go all right you're right you're right right we got this we got this and a moment of in bardic inspiration uh sleek starts humming and he's got a gole yeah i like that yeah and sleek's gonna pull out a little toy bow with like one of those suction cups on the end yeah and he's gonna pull it back and he's gonna cast the spell elf shot which is my last spell slot a level one spell i love that you got to build sleek for this adventure and these are the custom things you put in i just you know he's just kind of the best friend yeah i'm gonna cast elf shot and try to take a take a shot at kyborg all right no i'm sorry he spoke what he really felt if i get rid of him now i can become him no oh my god uh roll for uh hit let's see here i'm reading you pretend to shoot an arrow with a tiny bow okay make a range spell attack against a creature within range on hit the target creature stumbles is pushed five feet in a random direction okay roll a d8 and assign a direction to each die face and it speed is zero until the end of its next turn okay so i will make a range spell attack i never do this i gotta remember how to hit that's a nat one expected nothing better you lived up to my expectations a little sleek yeah you arc back your your arm and like do your best kyborg impression ky baby impression and as you let go you let go of your front hand and the the like magical bow like snaps back and the little magical arrow kind of off like the wall behind you and kyborg i'm gonna need you to make a dexterity saving throw to not get hit by this stray magical arrow that's you blame oh oh i'm so sorry i was putting my massage thing i'm running dexterity right all eyes we're on you for a moment there and you are just blissfully not here i've been there i've been there sometimes in some sessions where like i didn't realize someone called on me to do something and i'm just like here's the thing my back shoulder has been like killing me and christin a while ago bought me this massager thing oh just put it on and i was just sitting here just going no you were vibing just not with us you said deck saving throw right deck saving throw that's a 10 you managed to dodge it and uh you might be rethinking your strategic spot in this uh this chamber my eye sleek do you do anything else for your turn there's a reason i'm a bard that's that's never i'm never casting that spell ever again canonically and with my my moment of horrible horrible aim i would like to inspire kyborg to be way better than i am in archery and i'll give you some bardic inspiration kyborg what is that great kyborg nice uh he can use a bardic inspiration to roll a 1d6 and add it to his i believe any saving throw or maybe attack roll let me read up on this i want to say it's like any roll been a while since i played a bard yeah okay then while you're figuring out the details of that uh gum gum you are up next and then we'll be dock after gum gum and after doc will be the stuffy i want to toss the um the box no one help him what's it called i got it all i got notes um the burrow box i tossed the burrow box behind me impressive is it that he had to look up what the name of this thing was i'm just happy he wrote it down you know we take our wins we take our blasting we can okay and and then gum gum goes you don't look so fluff and then and then charges and gives the big fluffy thing a big hug and tries to like grapple it and sleep with it okay let's solve the first like a pillar yeah like a pillow okay grapple would be an opposing strength check yeah fellow dms yeah i can use strength or dexterity okay i guess i'll rage too while i'm doing that okay yeah we'll say you rage how does it sound when a baby rages it would be a fit it would be a fit everyone stand back gum comes either about to rage or poop himself and i'm really not certain which one it's bad you want some some baby crying noises or oh yeah we're good on this bar we just stocked up on this just once we're fully if we could you know for the the edit oh my god you know how they say like hearing an infant cry like triggers things in your like dna that happens but i'm annoyed by it uh what'd you roll for your grapple well i got an advantage on strength basic okay 23 23 uh yeah that manages to get stuffy drone and stuffy drone is now grappled by baby come on and then gum gum's gonna attempt to use his bonus action to sleep you raged oh yeah that's right then i'm just gonna go i'll just take a free action to fake sleep i'll take that i didn't know what you were gonna do yes gum gum seems to be sleeping on the the big enemy across the room and it is doc's turn doc's going to turn to kyborg and um say i need your help with something don't shoot me just whatever you do i'm sorry i'll help with whatever you want doc i just need your mouth really it's totally normal thing to say yes yes yes it pulls out like a little toy megaphone thing and says i need us to shout in this thing together in draconic okay yeah yeah i could do that yeah i've been watching my uh pbs draconic lessons where they teach you draconic what's like what's like a show that would teach foreign language for kids what was the one with muzzi oh yeah oh yeah bolju yes that's fresh those kids are speaking yeah yeah why did you perfectly summon that like one of the like a few years into moving to austin i went to one of our half price books which is a branch that we don't have uh where i come from and i was walking through it and i saw in like in a glass case a copy of muzzi for sale and it was the most like oh my god it exists it's real because i i'd only seen it on tv like you know in between episodes of sesame street i was just so impressed at the age of like 30 oh i've been watching my uh dragora the explorer so i hold up the the megaphone to both of us we both uh yell in draconic three two one all enemies that can hear our draconic cry we have advantage on now everybody has advantage on them oh a little buffin that was almost as good as me and sleek harmonizing i'll give you that you know that's my bonus action for my action i'm gonna pull out a little bottle and it looks like a black liquid and i got i got this from my father's garage it's uh something that will stain pillows to no end i called it grease and i cast grease onto the pillow oh grease lightning and it needs to make a deck save okay it rolls a 15 that'll do okay this is immune to grease it just kind of absorbs the grease into the feet of the stuffy drone and it's just kind of like stained now forever it's got that scotch protection on it that was a thing and then i nurse my throat that is now sore okay nice okay it's gonna be the stuffy drone is next after that will be hutch and then we will be back at the top of the order with part you got it and this giant toy is not happy with this giant baby grabbing onto it so it's gonna try to oppose your grapple and oh it rolled a nat 20 on that it is done with your grapple check but that's gonna be part of its turn it's actually then going to since gum gums right there and it's got you it's broken off it's gonna actually take a swing at you a big old swipe with one of its big old animal arms stuffed animal arms and it's going to roll a crappy roll an eight assuming that doesn't get past your barbarian armor which is just nothing a diaper just a diaper the diaper pulled up to his chest yeah okay that's gonna be its turn we are at touch the first time hairless hutch is going to be in battle that's me uh hairless hairless hutch gets a cold steely look in his eyes and slowly draws his foam longsword from his side a nerf one yeah and says leave my friends alone oh and he charges into battle swinging his foam sword at his enemy i thought it'd be so fun if you just turned and ran out that what just trying to like doing that like trying to go up the slide but it's too slippery and there's he can't go up so yeah he's gonna charge in and try to take a swing with his foam longsword okay dr. hem uses his megaphone says you have advantage advantage that's uh it's a good thing i have advantage because the first one was a one oh the second one is a 22 that will hit once you roll for damage he brings the foam longsword down doing 10 points of damage what kind of damage a longsword is slashing damage but if it's a foam longsword i don't know if you want to play with the space if it's bludgeoning i'll leave that yeah yeah now it's uh we'll let it be just the same damage of what it is i appreciate you playing with the imagery i call upon the power of hair to smite the divinely and what does that do a divine smite lashes out from his weapon striking for an additional cool two points of damage it's just so funny that he's a pal I know it's just this holy energy emanating from this weird little lizard okay so that was what was the slashing damage 10 and then two points from divine smite hairless hutch has never looked more heroic running across this room into the fray of battle and takes a blinding holy swipe at this abomination and as it slashes down on this monster um a little bit of a streak of a cut happens like along like the leg of this thing but as the swipe finishes it kind of like it leaves a little bit of mark but the the the leg kind of rebounds just a little bit person it's not not down not down no it's not a down pillow not a day that's an inspiration guys um i like that one all right we are now back at the top and we have bartholomew followed by caedelius followed by sleep all righty here well what you are gonna do you know i i feel like stuffy drun needs a little music in his life oh you know am i right sleep he's just he's just droning like a low alto note just waiting for someone to pick up on it i'm trying to harmonize i don't know what i'm doing so uh i'm going to go ahead and uh bring out the i also don't know i i remember this particularly caused question during our campaign i don't know if i was supposed to have it or not i know you're gonna say could i cast blue fever of bluegrass i'm gonna ask the dm that made that fine with me you know what yes here's what it does okay tell me once per turn you could send forth a shock wave of blue vibrating energy i love this surges forward towards the target from my banjo okay those targets or this target must make a charisma saving throw or become enthralled by the feverish music okay on a failed save the target begins to feverishly dance through the magical influence of the music and cannot take an action bonus action or use movement until the end of their next turn wow seems totally fair to me yeah totally fair impartial g what's the uh the check this thing has to make uh i believe it's a charisma saving throw it is this a targeted attack or is this an area of effect attack i think it is a targeted it does not say okay i will allow this attacks once i regret agreeing to this before i heard the description how charismatic is this pillow yeah uh so what's the the it's charisma yes charisma saving throw and what's the the the check it does not have one but i i'll assume it's 13 like the wisdom saving throw on the previous one yeah your your spill save yeah okay and as we know stuffy during has zero charisma it actually has negative three charisma that's about right even better but it did roll a 17 so i got 14 wow okay so it makes it it does actually start like two of its arms just kind of start jigging a little bit the other two arms are just kind of ready for battle still so it's kind of like it you got a little bit of it's kind of kind of going it's there to do a little bit of uh some some some fun but it's ready to smash some uh some kids as well all right bar does that thing where he's playing it and then all of a sudden hits the wrong note it's like it's just like the string breaks yeah oh no you're gonna hear a score do you have anything you want to do i'll cast a bardic inspiration on i'm gonna give it to my fellow bard sleek yeah how often does a bard get bardic inspiration from another bard you know probably not very often we're doing it we're harmonizing ready one two one two three oh god it gets worse we just see our stream numbers drop yeah fantastic is that your turn that is my turn give me some fighting chi baby okay i'm gonna whip out a spell it's one that kiborg has never used i cast child protective services uh no i'm going to use my longbow okay again take another shot at it yeah i'll take another shot that's a roll over to that 15 there we go that's a 23 does hit and then when i use the uh bardic inspiration that sleek gave me do i add that onto damage or is it just to the roll that's gonna be for a check yes okay okay and i'll continue to hold on to that yep even though that dice is really sticky for some reason my gum drops and then i roll damage not bad not bad that is an 11 piercing damage okay nice another true arrow flies across the room and sticks into the other shoulder of stuffy dren and just like last time it kind of gets in there and lodges and then stuffy dren kind of kind of just goes a little shimmy with its arm and pops out the arrow okay and then with my movement speed i want to see if i can like get around stuffy dren they're pretty far from stuffy dren because they kept pushing stuffy dren back got it what's your movement speed that would be 35 whoa you could start getting around stuffy dren and get maybe like you're trying to like circle around it i'm just like spreading out surrounding him on all sides i really just to be honest kai baby just wants to shoot him in the butt you are just barely like you're to the side of it and just barely to the rear but almost like parallel to but just a little bit behind it okay okay works but yeah you're making your way that way and is that your movement anything else that's it good turn good turn okay that we have sleek followed by gum gum followed by doc sensing what uh kyborg wants to do and just knowing kyborg is trying to get in prime but advantage to shoot this thing in the butt kyborg is gonna run the opposite or not kyborg sleek's gonna run the opposite direction hey hey hey over here over here and he sees it bearing down toward bart after bart cast that spell and just goes you stay away from him you beanie baby finger guns at this thing again are you moving or was that color commentary i'm i'm moving like so i can try to position him like between me and like distract him from kyborg what's your speed uh half speed 15 feet because i still have brick shoes i assume yeah brick shoes okay yeah you manage to get closer to stuff you join and a little bit to the side but you're not quite getting as far as uh kyborg went i'm doing a good job i'm doing a good job i can tell i can tell yeah yeah you're delusional it's fine and i will cast uh finger guns all right roll for uh that again that's a nat 20 nice the highs and lows finger guns does what kind of damage 2d6 i think it's automatically doubling it indeed beyond the other one i believe it's pu pu pu damage specifically it is force damage force damage and what did you roll i rolled that's a lot of that's a lot of dice 17 it's giving you 4d6 i believe because i rolled a nat 20 it's auto fitting with the way we do that it would be 2d6 plus another max right correct don't really we would do 2d6 plus max which would be okay i'm gonna take the first two rolls plus another six so i'm gonna give you 13 damage nice i'll take it okay 13 damage pretty good to stuffy dream very good pu pu pu pu pu indeed as the current player of natty wonder i'm a fan of another person shooting things out of the fingers you know i should really wait until someone's monologuing to do this yay all right and anything bonus nope that's it okay it is now all right you're asleep i'm sorry what you're asleep gum gum is asleep oh gum gum went to sleep chris gum gum is asleep but not like really a i know it's a joke sorry i was confused i was like legitimately confused like wait did i give you the laugh track okay all right i have never seen a joke miss so many times he was playing in your space did i miss something was there an asleep spell cast on me wait oh god anyway gum gum wakes up he goes uh oh looks like you have bad head and then jumps up with his uh great axe and tries to swing it around okay at the at its head all right uh once you roll for attack on that i want it to be a grape axe grape gum gum cast pu pu all right 19 19 will hit nice you have advantage as well oh i do this is uh chris's first time playing dnd okay you rolled an uh you wrote critical fail for your second roll yeah yeah so we'll go with the first one we're going first one was a 19 and you rolled nine is that what that is nine plus two for raging so 11 uh what kind of damage is that this flashing all right you swing your axe around and you kind of managed to catch it a little bit along its belly it's happening and then it kind of brings out and kind of pushes the axe out for kind of like half of your attack oh no i guess that's it okay that is it all right yeah um it's gonna be stuffy dren uh followed by hutch and then back to the top of the order okay what about me oh sorry you're next doc sorry doc and then stuffy and then a hutch doc turns to a hutch and um pulls out this like box and it has like a plus and a minus on it and he goes oh would you hold on to this for me okay and then he pulls out like rubber gloves and like and like then he takes two wires and connects them to the box and goes i got this from my father's garage as well and he starts running towards the the pillow and goes let's turn this plushy into mushy and he casts and he does jolt um so he's gonna roll for jolt is jolt a ranged attack or is it a melee range it's uh it's actually a ranged attack but i'm gonna i'm gonna get a write up on it okay and i rolled dox all amped up a dirty 20 that will hit and i got eight on the on lightning damage from with my car battery dang this stuffy dren is looking singed and sad good i like to think that uh that hutch like all his hair is like i had his fucking he's just such a drop drops the box we need to give michael less time in between turns so he can't come up with all these good one-liners making us look bad you guys he's spooling you we're all doing good i thought you guys were the pros i know yeah that was very good stuffy drun is really not happy with all of this attacks on they were just they were just napping they were just napping in this room and you guys came and took its box and so stuffy drun actually reaches to the side of it and grabs kind of a discarded stuffy and actually like adds it to its back and kind of fuses it to it and another arm kind of grows out of the back of stuffy and it kind of like by doing that it almost like there's more stuffing in him now and he's standing a little taller and he will actually take that hand and all four other hands and smash them down on looks like it's doc hutch and gum gum who are in range and you guys need to make a dexterity saving throw see if this doesn't damage i'm so dexterous oh i rule a natural one again seven hutch rolled a six oh yeah six sorry i knew how long how long you've been muted and thought you were talking just like just right there when i said six okay you guys all failed are you sure though i am quite sure you guys are all going to take some bludgeoning damage which will be nine points of bludgeoning damage wow really just talking to him say that out loud yeah it did sound a little character he doesn't even get that much i was wow really he falls over is doctor of him down he is down negative one oh wow all right we got docked down hutch and gum gum how are you guys looking well i take half that because i'm raging okay that four five i said nine so yeah four i picture like hutch has a bloody lip and is kind of was like that captain america thing like still like movie holding his fists up like he wants to continue fighting i can do this all day i can do this until nap time and that's gonna be stuffy drun's turn it's uh it's looking at this little cobalt on the ground and yeah you're pretty proud of yourself you big man you've beaten up a little kids uh it's gonna be uh bart's turn followed by kiborg and then hutch oh hutch god i'm just doing so bad at this do you want me to write the there in front of me i'm just not looking at it like i have it written out in front of me hutch bart kiborg hutch is there anything of those papers um hutch looks to his pocket for the paper but looks in the wrong pocket and pulls out a fist full of hair and and he looks down at dock and lays down and and kind of brushes the hair along dock's forehead and says the scales of hair yeah yeah and says be healed by the power of hair and rise yes by the power of hair and uh restores the two hit points to dock oh nice good good good dock is up sort of i like to think that the hairs like fall till i make a mustache for texture there makes you sneeze there's the doctor at him i guess then go hutch would while putting the hair back in his pocket look to see if the canvas square was doing anything no you don't feel any energies coming from these canvases anymore okay uh in that case i need to rely on the energy within and once again hutch pulls out his foam sword and swings it at was it squishy drun stuffy drun hitting ac oh almost a 20 hitting ac 19 that will hit doing four points of slashing damage yeah you uh you take a swipe at this and and again it kind of catches a little bit but then kind of like near the end of the swipe it kind of just bounces off a little bit by the power of hair i channel fury onto you doing an additional nine points of radiant damage and uh the smite is attached to the attack action it is not a bonus action correct oh no wait it is a bonus action you're right i cannot do that okay i was wondering no no you're right that's right look at me trying to do too much here it's called the dm i out dm'd gastavo i had already been planning what i wanted to do in my head and then i was in the dm'd gastavo look at the shame that being said the hair was inspired uh yeah so that was it i did bonus action that um yeah and that is it or hutch's turn okay i'm loving hutch in combat by the way all right bartholomew it is my turn how's he looking some stuff and coming out of him uh yeah i mean he's looking worse than he was at the top of this he got a little bit of his stuffing back when he attached that that other arm but you know not a full glass we'll call it that okay okay well i think i'm actually instead going to use my turn to cure some wounds on dr ham what he's fine is he i love that everybody is a medic except for the doctor that's very good how far away is he from me near death's door that's yeah he's like let's see one two three four he's like 25 feet away because he ran all the way up to stuff each other oh perfect that's my walking speed so i'm gonna go up and uh get right behind him and give him a little pad on the shoulder and say we can't have you getting more injured than you already are doc two thumbs up one day you might be in a wheelchair if you keep this up that will do seven points of healing and that's casting cure wounds right cure wounds correct seven points he's like basically back to normal i am very good there's some low hp you had there very very good is cure wounds your action yes okay and then you did a movement any bonus you know what let's cast another bardic inspiration oh so much inspiration being thrown around who's gonna harmonize i'll give one to gum gum thank you i like that gum gum went for a roll he went for yeah that gives him barbic inspiration yes okay inspiration i have one d six he added to ability check attack roll or saving throw lovely cyborg uh cyborg's gonna at the top use his movement to continue to circle around stuffy dren all the way to the back of it yes is he back there yeah you do you manage to run around and you can stuffy dren's been pushed pretty far to the back of the room but there's still like some buffering room between you you're not in melee range of stuff between cool can you roll me a perception check oh i found something that okay hold on i gotta roll a four but i have a d six for uh wait i'll give my inspiration dies yeah cyborg what open your eyes okay i they're open already open open them more okay what now let's around again why is this there's a is this a cheeto oh it's a dice okay i'll do another perception thank you chris he's doing it he's gonna shoot him in the butt that's me apparently you could use both bardic anise yeah that's a 19 okay you get in a very like strategic position directly behind stuffy dren okay and speaking of behind you see something on stuffy dren's behind it's like a big old black x spot on stuffy dren's behind and it looks to be made of a different material than the rest of stuffy x marks the spot got it uh then as son of destroyer has said shuddius the gluteus i'm gonna aim with my longbow i'm actually gonna help you out here oh i'm gonna say because i you got a what was that a 19 yeah that's a really good perception check you know where this material is oh you've seen this most kids have especially uh you know when they're putting their shoes on looks like velcro oh never heard of it okay did you know that velcro i think was invented in canada sounds like a canadian thing to help okay then i don't like the motion chris is making right now but he is trying to help what do you do with velcro you yeah yeah i know i know our seeing this happy i uh i if you're okay with it i'll put my longbow away and i'm gonna draw my long sword okay with two hands okay and i'm gonna charge at stuffy dren okay and i'm gonna roll for an attack aiming at that x marks the spot okay can i set the scene with a with a motivational speech that only sleep could give the free action this is gonna decide whether or not he gets advantage or disadvantage oh this is good this is good this is good all right this is good i promise i promise kuy pork he looks at kuy pork is kuy pork look this has become so much more than just getting mud this birthday gift if this thing gets out on top it's gonna be mass chaos this stuffy squadron's gonna be going all rampant chaos all over bouldering all right this is on you if you see some kind of weak point like some kind of material you could just rip apart now's the time to do it but we're the last line of defense we're not gonna go quietly into the night we will not vanish without a fight we're gonna live we're gonna survive today we celebrate our stinky independence day that was fantastic and as someone who just recently rewatched independence day i love that so bill pulman gives kiborg advantage oh great yeah all right so then i'm gonna roll again doc goes to hutch and goes why was sleek looking off camera when he said that i know who you talking to me i rolled the top the highest one i had it was a 15 but i'm gonna use my inspiration die also provided from sleek so that is an additional five so i got a nat dirty 20 you got a what dirty 20 he thinks if he says it fast enough it counts but i don't hear it no um yeah that hits the stuffy joint in that spot and roll for damage okay organically filthy oh not bad that's 13 and as i charge it in in purse the x with my sword i say go fluff yourself yeah kiborg runs in and swings up his sword that i don't think you guys have ever seen him have this sword you guys are amazing like maybe once and uh it brings it down into a stabbing motion into this x spot of stuffy dren and as he does it kind of like it doesn't quite puncture the x but actually pushes the x in so like this the velcro kind of rips and goes in and as kiborg pulls his sword out all the stuffing of stuffy dren starts pouring out all over kiborg he's just covered give it to you x go and give it to you all right and this is like old stuffing that's been in here a little bit damp a little bit it's like you know when you got like a like a down like pillow that's really old and it's all clumpy that's what's pouring all over kiborg teacher how much of it does kiborg swallow oh kiborg rolls a constitution save you there no i'm kidding uh you guys all that are in front of stuffy dren can just see it kind of deflating and falling down to the ground and appearing behind it is just a mountain of stuffing wow delicious no gum walks up to work kiborg as seems so bad oh okay that was a thinker that was good ah was that a thinker was it i just see you see a single arm puncture through all the fluff and give a thumbs up nice very very good yeah stuffy dren has been vanquished and is lying there on the floor and you guys are all out of combat whoo dr. him comes back back from the dead and goes this couch is gonna say out oh never mind okay that would have been good okay you guys are out of combat the stuffy dren's car case is lying there and all the stuffy and you are in this room and we got the box we have the box the box is where gum gum set it down yeah okay i'm gonna go grab the box and hold it yeah what does the box say yeah what does the box say gum gum oh no as you pick up yeah oh it's so good as you pick up the box you can hear the growling um that was in there but the growling is getting louder and as you hold up this prize fit for a king or a prince prince the growling grows loud and grows still out of the ground and you look up and can see like behind where kiborg was with all the stuffing and you can see a single crack forming in the wall and then that crack gets bigger and bigger until suddenly it goes open and a rushing sea of sand flows freely from it so quickly it's filling up the room but before you realize it you're up to your shins in rising sea oh no not again holy brumble is there uh any opening in the ceiling that's a good question to be answered in part two only available for our patrons all tiers will have access to the continued adventure of the infinite coming soon on our patreon that's dinky dragon pod.com dinky dragon pod.com so if you like this and you want more things like this we have so many tavern tales just like this Chris just did one recently that was a gum gum brain adventure in gungum's mine palace that we all had a lot of fun with with the infinites and i did one with a whole other group called c squad that was like comic book superheroes themed that was really fun mica dm'd one where we were actually in a different rpg mechanic game that was called maze rats so yeah we got more stuff like that planned coming so if you like the dnd content we have so much more available on the patreon and so much more coming so thank you guys for joining me for part one of infinites that was fun that was perfect John that was a that was a fun time you killed it i think everybody did such a good job they really promoted the ideal of yes sand i'm so glad we didn't cut our audio before that Joe came in�