Jeffisode About Penis Injuries: The Pacu Fish, the Candiru Fish, and Lorena Bobbitt

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Or you were guiding birds. That's why I was gone. I forget. One of the two. I forget too. And then we have Mike Smith, our sound guy and I am Jeff Larson, our backup bear guy. Here we are. We're all three here again. Boy did I miss you guys this week. Yeah, we barely made it without you. Oh yeah, we had a little off the rails episode. A lot of laughing. Yeah, just a whole episode of laughter. I had a good week in Yellowstone. Hey, you guys want to hear a tiny bit about it? Yeah, I do. I saw 29 bears. It's very good. And how many days? 12 grizzlies and the rest black bears in six and a half days. Did you win? Win what? Did anyone see more bears than you? Or you kind of like the Joey chest? I'm sure there's people that saw. No, there's people that saw more bears. There's people that that's all they do there is they just sign up to sundown just look for bears in the park. We saw some wolves kill a calf and then the mom like chasing the wolves around and it was up pretty close. That was cool. Lots of great birds. There's mostly a burning trip and boy do we see a lot of birds and some good name one. Harlequin ducks. Those are my favorites there. Boy, do I love those Harlequin ducks. American Dippers feeding young. Oh, you've lost. You saw some young feeding, Jeff. American Dippers. You named two. What were they eating? Dippin' Dots? Probably little bugs. They're little aquatic birds, aquatic songbird. The challenge was just to name one. Yeah, you're right. You know what? I'm not good at following rules, Jeff. Not a rule follower. He's a rebel. I'm wearing a sweatshirt in my studio. It's going to get real hot. So people that are watching this over video will get to see me in different stages. I'm not sure if you're going to see me in different stages of heating up during this entire recording. Isn't that going to be fun? Yeah, it seems like just seems like you should take it off right now. This sweatshirt's really hard to take off. Oh, yeah. So in the middle of the episode, it will be much better. Yeah. But that's pretty much it for me. My Robin seems to be gone. So that's nice. Maybe we won't hear it chirping in the back of this episode. I'm sure listeners will be sad to know it's gone. You intro'd it. Yeah. Mike, you got anything new? No, I was thinking about Robin when Wes brought up Robin. They really did him a disservice, giving him his little outfit when he was Batman's helper. I feel like that's kind of primarily the reason we don't see more Robin in Batman movies is because we don't really know how to deal with his costume anymore. It's not cool enough. It was fine back in like the 1950s or whatever, but like we can't really have a little boy running around in like a vest and stuff. Yeah. Looking cool. They haven't really updated his costume the same way that we've updated Batman's. Yeah. There's that one Robin that turns into like Nightwing or something. Yeah, that was cool. And he's like, man, that guy is making me dress like such a dork and then he like gets like a cool one finally. I just know it from the video games. There's what were you going to say Wes? Between guiding and just my my property right now is just a lot to take care of. I've just been a little overwhelmed. And so Jeff, you know, graciously is stepping in this week and he's hosting this. He's going to be the lead on this episode. And I'm really excited to see what he came up with. Yeah. So actually that's a great segue. So Wes, how big is your penis? I'm not going to say. Just kidding. Measure it for you. Yeah. Bosses. How many bosses I say. But today is a penis episode. So that was the segue that I have written down and I thought. Yeah. Before. Yeah. I'm not going to. Yeah, we're not. No, I was just kidding. But anyways, there's a lot of penis talk in this episode. I mean, they're going to be like, let's get more Jeff episodes or all right, we can take a break from Jeff for a while now. It's not going to be just another episode though. Jeff gave us a little bit of a teaser with a text last night saying, I'm in a real crazy rabbit hole right now preparing this episode. And now I'm really wondering how to get that rabbit hole went on this one. I'm very curious. I will say to the third, I have three stories and the third one, you might want to listen to, it's definitely PG 13. You might want to like proof it for any kids listening. Yeah, this might be like a European PG 13 episode, like whatever their version of PG 13 is. So. But yeah, Wes, Wes was, well, first of all, I was prepping a hippo episode and Wes was like, yeah, we told that in a news episode. I could not remember it at all. So I'm losing my marbles a little bit. And it was one with within the last year or two. The lady who got eaten by a hippo. So anyways, Wes sent me some suggestions. He sent me two suggestions and one of them was just a clip from the show River Monsters with Jeremy Wade. And he's investigating Papa New Guinea, the SEPIC River. And anyways, so I decided to go with that one. And the episode it's, or episode one, season three, and it's called The Muda Later. And, you know, Wes must have thought I'd be good at penis episode two because, you know, he'd send me that and he's like, maybe you should do this. You know, over the years of tooth and claw, there's been a lot of penis related jokes that have made it to the cutting room floor. And often from Jeff, and often, you know, we have to kind of talk a little bit about why those get cut. And so I just really wanted to just let Jeff get it all out in one episode. Just really an expert. I would say you're an expert at making penis jokes. Yes. I would say you have excelled in that. And I'm an expert at cutting them out of the episode. So, you know, we're gonna, we're gonna let Jeff really take the reins here and just, and just go with it. How much? Circumcising them out of the episodes. How much? River Monsters, that's actually not a penis induendo. It's about, that's about fish. Jeremy Wade. Yeah. How many episodes of that have you watched? I've probably only watched like five and a couple of them have been because of episodes that we've done, like the Gooch, how the Gooch stole Christmas. Gooch. Gooch. Gooch is something else. Yeah. Well, you know, we're on the topic. Yeah, they've stolen a few Christmases too, I bet. Anyways, in this episode, Jeremy goes out to a really remote group of people, tribe, whatever you want to call them, out in Papua New Guinea, who are like really just isolated from the rest of the world. You can only get there from a boat and they're just living off of the water, this, this sepic river and like fishing, getting food from the river. They survive off of it. So they're like extremely reliant on this water. But then there's been like a few stories that have gone out into the world of people whose penises have been bitten off while they're in the water and that they bled out and died afterwards. And there is like, I don't know, for our female listeners, I think they kind of get it, but not complete. Like, you can never completely get just like a, for a man, it's like, that's just one of the biggest holy shit, I can't, that's the worst thing that could happen to me type of feeling in you, even if it's not actually the worst thing that could happen to you. Like it feels like that. Like I remember as a kid, I brought it up in Mike's most recent episode, watching Mission Impossible 2, where he gets shot in the penis. I was like, oh no, he can't have sex in the morning. It also like, and I think the female experience in a lot of ways physically can present some like pain that we could never understand, like pregnancy for people that get pregnant. There's certain things that just like men will never be able to understand that type of pain. But there is something very unique about getting kicked or punched in your groin pain. It's just, it is all encompassing crazy pain. And so when you see someone's genitals get hurt on like TV or movies or whatever, you just, you just feel it. It's kind of like how when we see someone spraying their ankle, because we've all had ankle injuries, it makes us kind of cringe in a different way. And that's how I feel about penis injuries as well. In the jackass movies, they'll have like a, someone serving a tennis ball at them like 150 miles an hour. Right. And it'll be like, they'll just cover their privates. Yeah. And it's like, their face is completely exposed. Everything else is just like, I'll take it everywhere, but there, you know? Yeah. So anyways, there's just something ingrained in us. Don't mess with that area. So I think it's like a fascination. And obviously, Jeremy was like, let's go figure what, what's going on out there. So he talks to some people, and there's like someone named Francis, and then also a local fisherman who have both been attacked in the water. And they both say it feels like humans are biting them. And it's like, human bites on their legs. And one of the people thought it was like the spirit of the river was trying to like pull them in because it felt like humans just like biting him and pulling it. Yeah. Interesting. Probably not, right? Probably not. So yeah, Jeremy starts to catch fish and he catches a fish that really surprises them called a Paku. And it surprises them because these are from South America. Yeah. And he did not expect it in this water. And he goes and like talks to the tribal leader and the tribal leaders like, yeah, they introduced them 15 years ago to like, try to give us more fish to be able to catch. And it's like destroying everything. We're going to be eating Paku when we go to Brazil soon. That that is the fish that more, more than often you get served. Yeah. And they're closely related to piranhas that just look like a big piranha, but they have rectangular teeth instead of like the sharp pointy teeth. And they pretty much in Brazil, in their native area, they pretty much are known as being like a vegetarian fish that eats nuts that fall into the water. So they have super powerful jaws to like break open these nuts and eat nuts. So when Jeremy first catches one, it's like kind of a smaller one. He's kind of like, it probably isn't this. These don't eat like these don't target meat. And then he starts using meat and he just keeps catching them. And then when he like interviews more of the villagers, it's just like, yeah, we're getting bit by humans. And these things look like they have human teeth. They really do. Mike, look at this. See, I don't, I don't like it when fish have teeth that I guess really have teeth at all, except for shark teeth, I guess. But these are, these aren't nice to look at. Yeah, they're still, they're sharper than humans, humans teeth, but they look like humans. They look very human. Yeah, it's unsettling. So it stands the reason after he keeps catching these, you know what, maybe these are the fish attacking people. Biting people's nuts. But in the episode, they're not eaters, dude. Like one of one of the people that was reported to have died from one of these fish, he actually interviews that person. The person obviously didn't die. He was hospitalized. So I'm not sure how much truth there is to the whole viral thing of them, like specifically targeting penises. Okay. But they definitely are attacking people whose legs are in the water. And it stands the reason that like, yeah, they might get a penis every once in a while. But it's one of those things, I couldn't build a whole story off of it because this is like a super remote tribe who, you know, they're not like reporting stuff to the outside world. So it's really hard to really verify what's actually going on there. And, you know, it doesn't, yeah, it's not like totally outside of the realm of possibility that these would bite people to because they are closely related to Piranha. This is a really close cousin to Piranha's. So it doesn't, you know, I'm sure he wasn't totally shocked when people thought they might be getting bit by Paku's, right? Well, at first, he was really dismissive of it. And he was like, that's not going to be it. But then like once he kept catching them, and like once he interviewed more people and they were like, yeah, he's getting bit by humans, he is kind of like, well, I think he just viewed it as a fish that wasn't going to search for meat. But then like the thing, the other thing is you, he was, what it took in the episode was like Jeremy was like, he knew Paku fish and he knew their habits and what they did. And it didn't fit the narrative. But then the fish doesn't fit the ecosystem either. So like, they ate up all the vegetation really fast and honestly did a ton of damage to the local fish, to the local vegetation, to the crocodiles even, like there's reported them like eating hatchlings, one of the the tribe leaders that he saw like a crocodile trying to get out of the water while they were just trying to eat it. Oh, wow. And so it's like destroying this ecosystem. And pretty much probably what's happened is in Brazil way more nuts and fruit fall into the water and they're able to just live off of that. But in this ecosystem, there wasn't nearly enough vegetation. So they turned to meat. Turned to dicks. Yeah, exactly. Well, I was thinking if you see something swimming around and you're trying to get at kind of like the easiest to bite part, I think the penis might be it, right? Yeah. Like nothing else is quite as dangly and just out there for you to go grab onto. Yeah, exactly. And it's like the best if you have like big old jaws like that, that's like the most meat you could bite off with one bite. Yeah, it's gonna be the most satisfying bite for sure. For those who. What's his name in Game of Thrones? Well, there's Dionne and who's the guy that cuts it off? Yeah, uh, Ramsey. Ramsey. Ramsey Bould. Ramsey. And he's just eating a big old sausage. Yeah. He's a Baku fish. Yeah. I've been having some tooth problems lately. I'm very lucky that my older brother's a dentist, but I do tend to really clench and grind my teeth at night. And that does cause a lot of problems for me. I even recently cracked a tooth because I was doing it so much. And that's why I'm really excited to tell you guys about Remi. I had an old mouth guard that was too thick. It made me gag when I put it in. I really didn't like it. But Remi nightguards are just much more comfortable than the one that I had before. And they're a lot cheaper. You can get the same professional quality and comfort as a nightguard from the dentist for 80% less the cost by taking your own impression from the convenience of your home. And for me, it was actually more comfortable than the one I got from the dentist. Remi nightguards are clinically tested and FDA cleared to prevent teeth damage from grinding to reduce jaw tension and facial muscle strain and to improve your sleep quality. So it's really easy how it works. 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I couldn't really find anything about an actual case of a penis getting bit off and them going to a hospital though. But you can imagine what it'd be like if one bit kind of... There weren't any stories on the episode? There's stories, but it's all just like the villagers saying this happened. So that made me have to look into other penis fish, right? So there's the Kanduru Fish. Wes, you know that one? Yeah. The Kanduru Fish is found in the Amazon region of South America. Conjured. Well, and it's a type of catfish. It's about an inch long and has a thin eel-like appearance. And it's parasitic, so it uses spines on the covers of its gill to attach itself to gills of other larger fish. And then it's able to feed on those fish blood. Oh, weird. Now, this is the one, Mike. You've seen the movie The Rundown, right? Of course. It's like... Where the rock gets in the water and she's like, don't pee or the fish will swim up your penis. Oh, I know that. This is... I watched that movie. Which maybe the rock says that. Saturdays at eight. Sean Williams got into that movie when he came. I think it was great. Yeah. Loved it. Christopher Watkins. There's a while where that just was a thing that everyone thought existed, though, in the world. Yeah. Oh, to this day, it's still... When you're in Brazil, people still talk about conjure or... I think I'm saying that right. But it's happened once. It's C-A-N-D-I-R-U. Yeah. I couldn't find any scientific proof that's ever happened. Really? There's stories of them removing them from urethras. Because I've looked into this for an episode before. Yeah, they're out there. Okay. It's happened. Yeah. You know what? But mainly, it is myth, right? No, it's happened before. There's a medical record of them removing... I think it's only happened once, though. And that's why it's... And they think it might have just been a freak accident. But because of that, the myth has been passed along. But it has happened. Right. If you're wrong about this, I'm going to be mad. The myth is that it will happen if you pee, I think, is more what's being said rather than it's never, ever happened. Right. The most recent reported case occurred in 1997. A report made in Portuguese a Brazilian neurologist claimed to remove de Canjuru from a person's urethra. But there's inconsistencies, yada, yada, yada. Okay. Yeah. Well, great. That actually makes it better, I think. Yeah. Like, that it can happen. The things that are myth is like, there's a lot of talk about if you're peeing, it makes it so they're attracted to the pee and will swim up your urethra of your penis. And there's like no evidence or anything to support that. Right. And there's even myths that have gone so far to say that they can climb out of the water and swim up. If you're peeing into a pool of water, they'll swim up the stream into your penis. So like, it's kind of good because like, you really shouldn't be peeing into fresh water. So it's like, at least people aren't peeing into fresh water pools then just because they're afraid of. Maybe that's how it all started is just someone was like, I'm so tired of everyone peeing in this good water. Let's make up a lie so people stop. Yeah. That they can only be removed through surgical methods, which include penis amputation is like a myth that goes on about also that they'll lay eggs in the bladder. Yeah, that one's good. You know what? Maybe one has went into a penis and put its little spikes in there and won't get out. So that's pretty crazy. Yeah. I mean, I found a medical paper that says when it swims into the urethra, it can be difficult to pull out by its tails because the umbrella like spines near its head may extend and prevent its removal. Force extraction may cause lacerations of the urethral mucous membranes, which has caused death by exsanguination. Remedies have ranged from penile amputation and sub sub-repubic cistolonymy to application of a native herb that softens the spines of the conjure. So maybe I mean, maybe in some of these like little villages in the Amazon, this has happened more than we know. Yeah, kind of like our Piranha story, where it's like from like scientific papers, it's like hard to find any proof that Piranhas had killed anyone. But once you started interviewing people, it's like, no, right? Oh yeah, my cousin got killed by one. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. Yeah. Yeah. That's on me. I should have researched that a little bit harder, I guess. But thank you, Wes, for knowing that. And pretty serious stuff. Yeah. So here's the one I really dove deep into. And you guys probably are familiar with the story, but I'm sure a lot of our listeners, maybe have it, maybe some people have never heard it, but I don't think the majority of people have dove deep into it. Okay. So I was just thinking penises, right? Right. I was like, what's a good penis story? I was like, when I was growing up, there was a lady who cut off a guy's penis and like Lorraine Ababit threw it out in the grass. Yeah. So yeah, John and Lorraine Ababit in Manassas, Virginia, June 23rd, 1993. And before I get into this one, I just want to quote Logan Paul real quick. Yeah. And he says, I don't want to sound like a woke asshole, but dude, women have it hard. Wise. But he is the true philosopher. You know, I'm fine sounding like a woke asshole, but also I do agree women have it hard. Yeah. So wait, you're just telling the Lorraine Ababit story for the end of this episode. Yeah. Okay. All right. Welcome to our wildlife podcast. Yeah. Well, don't worry. I'll tie, I'll tie at least two animals into it. Yeah. So June 23rd, 1993, 4am cops were called about like a domestic violence dispute, right? Yeah. So some of the cops go to this house and they like hear what actually happened, but then they're too afraid to put it over their radios because people listen into cop radios, I guess. Yeah. So they're just like, what was the date? Sorry. June 23rd. Okay. What year? 1993. All right. It's like two weeks after Jurassic Park was released. Nice. A lot of stuff was going on right in this. Yeah. There was a peak entertainment possibly. Yeah. But anyways, on the radio telling responding officers that there's a missing appendage and people don't really know what they're looking for, but they don't want to like air everything out over the radio. So anyways, Lorraine, she went to her sleeping husband and then she played with it while he was asleep to make it hard. And then she made a clean cut at the base and cut it like straight off. Right? Wow. What was the tool? Do you know? Yeah. But no, it was like a eight inch knife, like really sharp Japanese kitchen knife. Japanese. Yeah. Oh, interesting detail. Yeah. So then if that's going to happen to you, you want it to be the sharpest possible knife. Oh, I should say to my source, I watched a four part documentary series on, it's called Lorraine and is produced by Jordan Peele. You've watched it. Oh, wow. It's really good. So then in this documentary, there's a lady who was supposed to help find the knife and penis and she says that cops told her that they thought Lorraine may have swallowed the penis. So there's just like mass confusion right now. They don't know where the penis is. She's pretty, she's not found at this point. So they just don't know what's going on. That's such good plausible deniability. Like you swallow basically the centerpiece of the crime. They can't blame you for anything. You're walking free after that. You know, but they're like a really good looking young couple too, just to set the stage a little bit. So I'm going to get into John a little bit here. John says that he was asleep and he felt a tug and then a hard jerk while he was sleeping. And he says that he was just imagining Freddie Kruger's hand coming through the wall. I think he probably is like made that up a bit, you know, but it's still funny. He's an ex marine. And then at the time was like a current bartender, 26 years old. He fell in love with Lorraine. And he's kind of a bit of a character. It just wait for me. I'm going to get into all of it. But he just to show he found her engagement ring at a public pool and like came home and just like proposed to it after he found the ring. Like, I don't know. Was he like not going to propose? Had he not found that ring? And he just saw the ring. I guess maybe that's a sign waiting until he found one. Well, let's just say one of his nicknames after the incident was Forrest Stump. Forrest Stump. He wasn't the smartest guy, so it could have just been like he found a ring and was like, all right, I'm gonna nothing else to do with this ring. Yeah. But yeah, when it happened, his friend Robert Johnson was also staying at the house, which like, that'd be insane to like be invited to your friend's house and have your friend get his dick cut off. Yeah. And then I just want to play a little clip from the documentary here. I collected myself and applied pressure and my friend Robbie was staying with us. I woke my friend up, I kicked him and he didn't realize what was happening, because he just woke up of a sleep. I kind of was like waiting for my friend to get ready because he went and brushed his teeth. So why do you think she did this to you? Well, I was divorcing her, leaving the marriage, telling her that our marriage didn't work out. She wanted to keep the marriage and try to make it work. And she felt real hurt about me ending it. All right. So it's just, that was like, pretty quick after that interview, he's young, he's, it's like, pretty quick after the incident. And the audience are just laughing at him, right? Yeah. But pretty much he says like, I woke my friend up and he went and like brushed his teeth and here he is just bleeding out. And he even says like, it took him a really long time to figure out what happened. So like, cops on the scene, the bed, there was like a big pool of blood on the bed. The, you know, Dexter, whoever their blood scientist is comes in there and they're just like, yeah, this guy stayed on his bed for like way too long. He's just laying in bed. But yeah, anyways, John claims the reason she did it is that he told her he was going to divorce her, right? Right. Yeah. If that's true, huge overreaction, right? Well, let's get into Lorena a little bit. At the time she was 24 years old. She's from Ecuador. She moved to the US at 18 years old and met John at a marine ball type of thing where he was like, you know, when Marines are full uniform and he's already pretty good looking and he's got the full uniform on. So he was peak hotness for him in his whole life. Can't resist a man in uniform. She falls in love with him at the dance. She says he is super handsome, beautiful eyes and like fell in love with them. Well, here's the knife part. Jinsu carving knife that she found. I'm envisioning like a little like a mini katana kind of thing, just like little samurai sword, slashing it off. But yeah, so she, the night of the incident, you know, she went to the kitchen after she was very upset with John and we're going to get into that. It's very serious. And she goes into the bedroom, pulls down the sheets, cuts the penis off. Then she went to her car and drove away. Now, Mike, in mob movies or mob shows, if someone stabs someone or shoots someone, what do they do with the weapon afterwards? They're usually not super smart about it. They like toss it in their trunk and then just like kind of forget about it sometimes or like throw in the garbage can or something. Yeah, off the bridge. A lot of shows and stuff teach you get rid of the weapon, right? Yeah. So she's like, all right, I'm going to get rid of this knife. She throws away in a garbage can. But then she's also driving and she's having a hard time driving because she's still clutching this penis. Oh, she's still holding it. Yeah. Wow. And she's probably got blood on her hand, so it's hard to hang onto the wheel. You can only imagine how much harder it'd be to stay at ten and two if you're clutching a penis in your hand. Yeah. A severed one. Yeah. Also throws the penis out the window. Okay. Into like a grassy field by a 7-eleven. Yeah. Just not a good place for your penis to be. No. Some unsavory things happen outside a 7-eleven. If your penis ends up in a 7-eleven parking lot, you know that somewhere your life went wrong. That's the check engine light. Yes, that's when you should be like, huh, maybe I made some bad decisions. Although this guy, he doesn't really seem to have like, when does he acknowledge that he no longer has a penis? Because when you said it took him a while to figure it out, I was like, there's no way it takes more than five seconds. Maybe he went into shock or something. Yeah, it could be. He claims he was just super tired. But then like, I'll just skip ahead to the trial part of this. His friend who was the one who brushes his teeth, Robert, was like, yeah, we got pretty drunk that day. So he was just like, so drunk it was like, he couldn't tell what was going on still. Sure. Sure. Which is the it's still weird, but it's the only thing that makes any sense. Yeah. So I'm going to share my screen once more. Okay, so Lorena, right? She's very panicked. She knows she is probably in some trouble. And she goes to her friend's house. It's super almost like early. It's so late. It's almost like early morning at this point, right? Right goes and bangs on the door until the husband comes down. She's like, I need to talk with Jana. Jana comes down. She's like, what's going on, Lorena? Like, what's wrong? And I just want to play this clip. So this is Jana. And she's crying. And then she said, I kind of paint this off. And I said, you did what? That's it. You did what? You did what? So that was Jana's perspective of the incident. So then she gets pulled into the police station. They're like, hey, before we take your statement, before we like hear what's going on with you, where's the penis at? And she's like, it's just in the room. And they're like, no, it's not. And she's like, well, I threw some stuff out the window. So then they go on like, they're like, well, what was like your path? And she like has to give them the route that she drove. And then they're on a big search for this penis. You know, these cops like probably worked harder to find that than they've ever worked for anything. Oh, man. So motivated. So I envision them finding it like the scene in ET where they find them down by the weird. It's like feeble and lamp down by the riverbank. So yeah, I did John and Lorena. And now this next section I have bullet points is just labeled the penis. So police found the penis lying in the grass by the 7 11. Willard Hurley, which I love this guy. He was like one of the sergeants. He was high up in the police force. He found the penis, but he was a very religious man. So he couldn't touch the penis. He had to call someone Mike Perry, a volunteer firefighter to come grab it, as he was like standing with his arms stretched out pointing down at it. Oh, my goodness. So crazy. Just grabbed a peanut homophobia was like at a different level. That's some of the cops were like saying that they think he stepped on it is how he found it. Like a banana peel. So then they bring it into the 7 11. And what do you do if you have this penis now put it on ice? Well, what would you where would you put the ice? Slushy gop. Yeah. Well, they put it in a hot dog bag. I mean, it's hot dog shaped. Sure. I guess that kind of made sense. And then enters David Berman, who was a micro surgeon. And this was his first ever penis reattachment. He was like, very young for a micro surgeon must have been a small penis before his 30s. So and he looked younger than he even was. So like, when he would get interviewed, like one guy was like, you don't even know what a penis is yet, which is kind of a weird thing to say. So his main plan, I mean, he'd never done it before, but he's kind of like, well, I just need to attach the major artery and then the major penis veins and like, it should work. And he does that. And then the real moment of truth was removing the tourniquet and restoring blood flow and just seeing if that blood was going to flow back into this penis that's been disconnected for a few hours now. And it does. So he's able to successfully reattach this penis. Nice. I'm just thinking about all the people I had on my trip in Yellowstone that I told about our podcast. And like, they're all in their like 60s and 70s. And I really, really, really hope they don't listen to this episode. Like I really want to start with avoid this one. Now, why'd she cut the buddies penis off? Okay. Yeah, he's not the buddy. First of all, he's a pretty bad guy, it turns out. Yes. But yeah, so she gets questioned by police. She actually gives a really bad answer. It's too bad she didn't ask for an attorney. She says that the reason she did it was because he is a selfish lover pretty much. I'm gonna paraphrase some stuff. We don't need to get like, super into it. But comes out later in the trials, like, he was a rapist to her as like, as spouses, like he just, he was sexually assaulting her. Yeah, sexually assaulting her. Yes, I'm trying to like, be diplomatic, but no, you're doing for something that was like a really like long process. I'm trying to sum it up to not get too gross in this episode. If you want to more info on that, watch the documentary, they do a really good job of painting the picture of what was happening in their house. But yeah, for the purposes of our podcast, like, there was a lot of sexual assault happening, and he was being very dominant in taking advantage of her background. Yeah, yeah. And yeah, it's always a really hard scenario for someone who's not a US citizen yet to be able to like leave an abusive partner. So there's just like a lot of really components against her. So in the aftermath, Brett and Todd, who were also my college roommates names, are her brothers, or I mean, our John's brothers, and they went looking for Lorena the night of it all, saying that they were like going to try to kill her because what she did was worse than kill him. And it's just crazy. This is all just like them on TV, like a like daytime TV interview, just saying like, yeah, we're trying to kill her. Well, again, I was old enough to kind of remember this. I think I was like nine. And I remember every news thing was just about how he was maimed, and she did all this to him and how it was like this vengeful wife and this innocent guy. And so I think a lot of the initial news coverage was really kind of compassionate towards John. And so people saying this kind of thing on a talk show, you'd kind of be like, yeah, of course they did. Like she just like cut off his dick for no reason, you know. Yeah, especially at the start before like the sexual information really came out, everyone was on John's side, like this lady's crazy. And like the way I remembered it was just like some crazy lady cut off her husband's penis, right? You know, that's how the news reported it for a long time. Yeah. And like, it's still really hard for women, like there's a whole, would you rather see a bear or a man in the woods conversation that even us, we didn't really get it at first, right? But it's like, women have every right to be like very afraid of men in general. And it makes sense that a lot of women were the biggest threat to them right out of everything. And honestly, it's gotten a lot better since the 90s, but it's still really bad. But like if you watch like some of the documentaries like Woodstock, women just didn't have a voice that people wanted to listen to about sexual assault in the 90s. And it's at least getting better even though we still have a long ways to go. Yeah, I think especially I'm just saying like this time period was like a shifting point in culture. I think especially within marriages, it was really tricky for people to understand that there's there's still consent, there's still all these different things that have to happen for there to be like appropriate sexual activity. And I think during that time, a lot of people just thought, oh, if you're married, like you have to have sex with your husband. And that's not the case. Like that's not no one has to have sex. Half of the states, it wasn't even illegal to like, there wasn't a law against like marital rape. There was just marital sexual misconduct. Yeah. So anyways, yeah, there's just a lot of mistreatment to women in the 90s. And women, it became like a real once it started coming out that she was saying like, no, he was like sexually abusing me all the time. A lot of women started like taking her side, which was like, you know, a lot of guys were like, wait, she cut off his penis and people are like on her side. But then it started to make more and more and more sense why this happened. And Oprah or not, no whoopee goldberg, there's a clip of her doing stand up where she's just like saying it wasn't even really stand up when she was doing it, though. She was saying, now men have a little bit of what we feel every day when we're around them. We've put a bit of fear into men. I actually think it's a really good point. I think every man after hearing that story was like, that's scary, you know, right? Yeah. But anyways, another funny little tidbit from it was newspapers weren't allowed to use the word penis. So there was a bunch of newspapers just using like tallywacker in different names. Wait, so like a governing body that told all newspapers they weren't allowed to use that word? I don't know. That's crazy. It was like they're editors or they're whoever said that's a word we can't use. But then New York Times said like wife cuts off husband's penis and then everyone started using the word penis a bit, which got me thinking, you know how in high school, I don't know if you're you were a bit ahead of us West, but for us especially, I'm sure you had it too, where it's just a joke to yell penis in class and stuff. Yeah. So I will say a lot of this stems from that. It's just I remember is such a taboo word for us. I was in Sunday school right after this happened in church. And the teacher was trying to illustrate some lesson about how like, then she was using a newspaper for some illustration, and she held up a newspaper to like kind of show us something. And the headline just said penis in it because it was the Lorraine Ababit headline. And we just lost our minds like lost our minds. She just couldn't realize back in because I was like a nine year old boy. Yeah, it was great. Okay, so let's get into a little bit of the trial. So John was facing up to 20 years for marital sexual assault. And that's where it comes in like, he couldn't be charged for rape because of the state laws. So it's marital sexual assault. And for some reason, he could only be judged for the day of the incident in five days prior. Interesting. So then, like I was saying, in this time period, it was like very against women being able to like come out against sexual assault. So it's just really hard. It still is in this time period too. Like, it's very hard for women to get there. And I'm not saying it's not. I'm just saying, yeah, it was worse. Yeah. And that shifted the culture a lot, this whole thing. So with John, a big part of his thing was that his lawyer said he's incapable of lying. And when you watch him in trial, when he lies, it's like, Oh, this dude's lying. But that happens more in two months from now when Lorraine goes to court. There were some parts of Lorraine where it looked like she was assaulting John like he had had scratch marks on his face. And like, her mother had told the police that she was like being bad to John. So like, there were things that really brought all of the sympathy to John during his trial. There was a quote that looked really bad for him that he said, I will find you whether we're divorced or separated. And I'll have sex with you whenever I want. So like, there's some really bad stuff. And but anyways, John ends up getting cleared of the charges. He did. He's found not guilty. Nine of his jurors were actually women. And like, the whole everyone in the media, everyone just like living in the world, honestly, because it is covered by the entire world, are on John's side right now, right? He goes on like Howard Stern, Howard Stern raised almost $200,000 for him to pay for his medical expenses and stuff. And then he's just partying. But he also, sorry, before he does that, he goes to a ranch outside of Colorado Springs to try to stay out of the spotlight for a little bit. And this is where he's just like working as a rancher with his brother Brett. And he says that one of the bowls got away, or is this steer, I think, and he had to wrangle it back into its pen. And it kicked him in the penis. No, it's just like the worst pain ever. Good. So there's an animal attack. Yeah, hey, brought it. I knew it. I knew you'd bring it all the way around. All right. It was crazy, though, because for like two months, John's just like this innocent guy. But then Lorraine's trial comes two months later. And hers, because the first one was domestic violence, it couldn't be televised. But then like, for whatever reason, they said this one was about like her cutting his penis off. So it could be televised. So Court TV like gets it on TV. She's also facing 20 years. She's offered a deal to take four years and then be let out of jail. But then she'd be labeled as a felon, and she wouldn't be able to get American citizenship, which was her dream. So she decides to fight it. And honestly, by the end of the documentaries, you're completely on her side. But like, it's a huge risk because like she definitely cut his penis off. Yeah, you know, so it's going to be really hard. But tons of witnesses come in and testify of John's abuse, including like some of John's best friends who like played basketball with them. The neighbors would like come in and say like, yeah, we could tell that what was going on. And now what was really crazy is the prosecutor for when the prosecutor who tried to like, find John guilty of marital sexual assault, he was the same prosecutor in Lorraine's case. So he defended the, or what's he defended Lorraine? Or no, sorry, he prosecuted John. And then he also prosecuted Lorraine. So he's on Lorraine's side in the first court hearing. And then he was against her in the second one. I think there'd be laws against that. Yeah. Yeah. His name is Paul Ebert. And like, when you hear that, you're like, this guy sucks, right? He was on her side. And now he's going against her. But there's a lady who went to the nail salon that Lorraine worked at. And like saw signs of her abuse and like saw bruises on her arms. And she called into the courthouse just like trying to talk to whoever she could to tell them like, listen, I like saw it firsthand. Once, once I asked her about it, she said, my husband did it. And then she did like a terrible job on my nails and eyebrows. And she like couldn't function anymore because she was so traumatized. So this lady calls in and she actually gets a hold of Paul, who's the person persecuting Lorraine. So like prosecuting prosecuting. So most any time the prosecution would just bury it, right? Right. Yeah. Paul sends it to the people defending her, sends her over to him, has, has the psychiatrist who's like determining if Lorraine is insane or not, call this lady to like get her story. So Paul's actually like playing double agent. And he's like pretending that he's on John's side, but he's actually protecting Lorraine. And he's like, yeah, okay. Yeah. And he's like, I'm mad that like this lady didn't call in earlier because then he's like, I could have got him had I had this. So there's all this court coverage. And during the hearing of Lorraine, Tanya Harding does the whole poll on what's your names on Nancy Kerrigan and the menendez twins are in trial. So it's just like crazy. Like everyone's just entertained. OJ is coming up pretty soon too. Yeah. Yeah. I think OJ happened already, right? I think 94 was OJ. I mean, I forget. I think it is coming up. Yeah. So she is found not guilty, but she has to go 45 days in the mental hospital, which honestly, she's still kind of bitter that she had to do any time anywhere and he didn't. But it's just like the law. If you, if you win an insanity plea, you have to do that, which makes sense, honestly. Yeah. At the end of the day, listen, I don't want to defend or like I'm going to take her side. I think at the end of the day, she's going to go a lot worse. But also at the end of the day, she did cut his penis off. So maybe some kind of recompense should be paid a little bit. Yeah, I don't know. I don't know. His penis was cut off. Yeah, but he did. There's any kind of punishment that would be justified. I'm saying bury him beneath the prison, throw away the key. Right. I'm saying don't cut penises off. So for me, for me, say he did go to prison for 20 years, then sure, maybe she has to pay like the tiniest price for that. Right. But he got off scot free. Yes. So no, I think like that is his punishment. And I think it is, I think he deserved worse in my opinion. Definitely. I think by like the letter of the law, they both should have been punished. But I kind of like how it played out where neither of them got punished because like he had his penis chopped off. And she was able to like, I mean, I wish that she had a better time with it, honestly, because she had everyone just making jokes about it and stuff. But honestly, she kind of laughs about it when they tell her where they found the penis and the documentary and stuff. So like she even finds some humor in it. Okay. And they honestly kind of both set up their rest of their lives off of it, too. So to me, it's like you can either, I mean, the other thing that like I was saying, legally, there's obviously still a ton of abuse towards women nowadays. But like in the 90s, especially the early 90s, women would call and like say like my spouse is abusing me. And there wasn't much at all cops could do about it. Like they needed witnesses, they needed like there's a lady in the documentary who is like beaten really severely with a tire iron by her husband. And she wasn't able to do anything because there's no witness. And it's like, obviously it happened. You know. So a lot of legislation passes after this. But like, I guess my point is if she didn't cut his penis off, he would have never like she couldn't just call for help. Yeah. I know this was kind of her only way out. Sure. And I, I understand Mike's perspective where he hasn't. Sorry, Mike, I just wanted to defend you real quick, where you haven't seen the documentary and me and Wes have because it paints John much worse than I am right now. So like I just, yeah, go ahead. Yeah. I just, I think, I think in this situation, you should be able to, I think the amount of like psychological, emotional trauma that women in that situation are going to have to deal with for the rest of their life. For sure. Like she should be able to cut off all the penises. Yeah. And she didn't like Jeff was saying she didn't really have another course of action that would have been as effective as that. So there's a weird power dynamic like he's a marine and she's a immigrant. There's just a lot of things that play. Yeah. So yeah, chop away Lorena. Well, and in 1994, like I think there was a bunch of attacks that spawned this, but especially Lorena's Lorena attacking her husband, but also all the attacks that happened to her, but a violence against women act passed by Bill Clinton. And like Bernie Sanders is on the documentary just saying we need this bill. And then new Greenwich, King took the funding. Greenwich, Greenwich, Greenwich takes the funding away from the bill. And then there's a ton of protests and they make them and reinsert it. It's just crazy. Nothing changes, you know, it's just the Clintons and Bernie Sanders and new, but okay. So yeah, a bit of aftermath now. Yeah. So he was hiding out at the ranch, a bull kicked him in the penis, and then he causes lawyer or whoever. And he's like, Listen, I think I'm going to leave the ranch. And the guy's like, I think that's a really bad idea. And he's like, well, there's a lookalike. There's a John Wayne, Bob it lookalike contest at a local Hooters. So I think I can win. Dude. So then he starts partying. He like seems like he just says yes to like every opportunity anyone presents him and everyone wants a piece of him right now, you know. Yeah. So he started a band called the sever parts and it doesn't do well at all. So then if you can't make in a band, you got to go to porn, right? Yeah. For Frankenstein penis. So first he goes into a porno called John Wayne, Bob it uncut. And it's like one of the highest, like most successful pornos ever, because everyone wanted to watch it just to see what his penis looked like. Even like the micro surgeon is like, Yeah, I got it just because I want to see like how my handiwork was looking. That's awesome. And then the porn guy, Big Shrocker turns out was just taking complete advantage of John. And like, it's sold a like record amount. And yeah, does huge numbers, but he doesn't make nearly what he should have. And then because it's so successful, he decides to do another porno movie called Franken penis. In this movie, he decides to get a penis enlargement operation in like he's going to make his penis bigger in the actual porno movie. And he does it. And everyone's like, that seems like a really bad idea, John. Yeah. And only him and like the penis surgeon are like, no, don't worry about it. And turns out it was a really bad idea to do a penis enlargement surgery on a surgically attached penis. So the guy like adds fat in it or whatever. And it just causes him a ton of problems and like severe pain. So he's kind of starting to get us come up into bit, right? Yeah. Yeah. Then he starts working at the bunny house. Mike knows what that is. Michael's a bunny house. No, it's like a petting zoo. It's like a sex site in Nevada. Oh, I have heard of that. Yeah. It was like kind of their way around not being able to advertise because like they couldn't advertise. But then that like TMZ or whoever could say like, John Wayne Babbit, now he's working at the bunny house. And so then people would find out what the bunny house was. But while he was working there, he got arrested for stealing $140,000 worth of clothing and then returning it to other stores of the same brand. So he's like stealing clothes and then returning it to store down the street. And turns out that wasn't the best system. So it's arrested. And then the bunny house posted his bail. And when they post his bail, they like have this huge party set up for him. And instead, John takes one of the workers, like one of the girls from the bunny house and goes all the way to Niagara Falls with her. And he's just on the run. So they're pissed because they paid his bail to like get him back and he's just leaves gone. And then later with this girl, he gets arrested for domestic abuse. And he gets 15 days in prison. But then when she tells her story is like, no, he almost killed me as like three days of just like all the worst stuff you can imagine a man doing to a woman. And then she's like, I eventually just played dead. And he like would talk to me and I just played dead. So then he thought I was dead. And I saw him like getting bedsheets and stuff. And I ran out of the room and was able to get help. But then, like I said, the laws were really bad. She didn't have any proof of like what all had happened. So he didn't get as much punishment as he should have. And then he got married again in Vegas and his second wife, when they got divorced, was able to prove a bunch of abuse and able to take all of his money. So now he's like pretty broke again, keeps getting taken advantage of of every turn. In 2024, he lost all of his all 10 toes. Apparently because of drinking water, he drank in the 80s at some camp that was like contaminated. I wonder how they can trace that specifically back to that. I think probably other people got it that were at the camp too. And then the the documentary ends at his house. Of course, he has the custom license plate and it just says DJ Trump. And it goes to him and he's sending freaking Lorena love letters every single Valentine's day. Weird. So then it goes to Lorena and she's like, I don't know why he's still doing this. I cut his penis off. I obviously don't like him. Like she's awesome. So a little bit of her after it, she went like straight to Disney World. And then she went back to Ecuador for a few years. She met the president of Ecuador. And this was just a Wikipedia sentence. They became the godparents to the same baby at a baptism together. Her and the president of Ecuador. Oh, wow. Good for her. Then she remarried David Gallinger and they had a daughter. And you could just tell like they had such a healthy relationship. So but it seems like she could have been a very loving partner to anyone who showed her love, you know. So she's a really good person, is my point. She found Lorena's red wagon organization, which helps prevent domestic violence through family oriented activities. So I'm going to donate to that. And then in April 2009, she went on Oprah Winfrey and said she had no interest in talking to John. But then in May of that same year, the show called The Insider just paid them a ton of money each, I think. And they got them both together again. And he apologized to her for the way he treated her during their marriage. And it's like, if you watch the documentary, he's in complete denial still of everything. He's just like, yeah, she didn't like me because I was divorcing her. And it's very delusional. But at least he was able to say in this, I guess that he messed up or like that he's an awful husband. Good. Yeah. But how else can I tie this into animals? What? I don't know. I'm besides the bull. At this point. Yeah. Well, the scientist also named something the bristle worm is also now informally known as the bobbitt worm after the case, because it attacks its prey with scissor like jaws. The bobbitt worm is a predatory species that gets up to 10 feet long. It's like an ocean worm. And has the average diameter of one inch. And then it has like razor sharp jaws that can just cut. Geez. That's the final story of this. Okay. And I just want to say too, if you're in an abusive relationship, please call the National Domestic Abuse Hotline at 800-799-7233. But yeah, I don't know. I just hope I think it's good to help clear Lorraine's name. I think a lot of people like me were super young when all this happened. And all we know is the story of an angry wife cut off a husband's penis. And turns out he totally is deserved to get his penis cut off. Yeah, sure. I think we also learned an important lesson about how ADD works on this episode where I sent Jeff a prompt about paku fish and it turned into an hour-long episode about Lorraine a bobbitt. Anyone could have seen that coming. Yeah. But yeah, I don't know. I thought it was a good story. It sure. I mean, yeah. They made a whole documentary out of it. Must have been pretty good. All right. So do you guys have any questions? No, I think I'm good. Nope. I got a lot more info. No, I think we're all right. Let's move on to our category. All right. Wes, you have a good time? It was an unexpected time. It's not what I was expecting out of this episode. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. You know what? Next time, I think I'll just do my job. And learn your lesson. I think people are gonna like it. Categories. So first category. All right. So you know, like the over-under game? This time we're going to do it with Mike. Mike, how many pop culture injuries can you name in 30 seconds is the game? And Wes, what do you think the number is? Pop culture injuries? Or sorry, pop culture, penis or ball injuries. Like it nut. We're like, yeah, growing injuries. In 30 seconds? Like I'll give you a freebie. Like the Simpsons football to the groin would be one. Oh, I'm not. I'll say four in 30 seconds. I'll take the over. All right. I got a timer. All right. And then if I lose, I'll donate an extra hundred to that domestic charity. Okay. You want changing number? No. Four is low. All right. In 30 seconds. Set, go. We've got Chris Paul, hitting any number of other opposing players in the ball, starting at Wake Forest back in his college days. We have Carlos Booser punching the referee in the nuts. Football to the groin. Lorraine Bobbitt. I don't know if we're going to count those. Wait, you can't do football. You can't do anything that we've met. I said I was giving it to him. Oh, keep going. Keep going. Lou Dort grabbed another basketball players balls. I'm just doing basketball stuff. This is maybe not fair. What a, the guy in that one, shoot, what's his name? He falls on his, a branch on his groin. No, we're exactly. That was bad. I tried to explain him a little bit too much. That was a lot. Not a fishing at all. I didn't know sports counted, but yeah, it should. That is pop culture. No, it's okay. Yeah. We got in like a West God and an argument during the counting. D-railed it. I wasn't going to be able to go many more, but whatever. All right. Shout out a 90s daytime TV moment. So what me and Mike, we were both, when the nineties ended, what, we were 11, 12, yeah, 11, 12. West was like 15 or 16. I was seven. So you were raised more in the 90s than us. Yeah. The 90s was like my adolescence. Yeah. One that I remember very clearly is the episode of Fresh Prince of Bel Air where, where his uncle talks about his dad leaving him. And it's like this really kind of emotional moment between Will and his uncle, Uncle Phil. Yeah. And I think for me, it was poignant because it's like, it was a very funny show and they always kind of had this, like, conflictual relationship, him and his uncle, like they kind of were always at each other's throats. But then they have this really emotional moment where you see how much they love each other. And I just thought it was, for me, it made me realize like, oh, like men can show their emotions too. Nice. Yeah. I did a real one. This is just a 90s daytime TV moment. Yeah. One that always sticks out in my brain is Michael Jackson dangling his baby over the balcony. That was like a really, really huge thing. For some reason, like, I'm sure there were bigger stories that happened in and around that time, but that was one that was just a really big focus of attention for everyone at my school. So yeah, it was weird how he like came out, put his baby over and like laughed about it and then went back in and he like came out and people were screaming and tear, but also like celebrating him. It was a weird, really weird footage if you go back and watch it. I think it's kind of around when public opinion was turning apart, like against him too. Yeah, for sure. I think I'm gonna say, I didn't think it was that big of a deal. No, well, yeah. Yeah. No, I'm just saying news cycle, like wouldn't even make the headlines probably. I'm just shouting out a moment. I'm not saying this is the craziest. Yeah. Oh, I'm not saying you're wrong. I'm just saying the public opinion. Yeah. To me, it's like if you're holding a baby, don't just like drop a macsitently normally. Yeah. Like he has the baby pretty well grabbed. Yeah. Yeah. It's like support judgment, but yeah. Yeah. But like people act like he almost killed the baby and I didn't really see it that way. No, not even. I mean, the classic for me was just, I didn't even watch it that much because it's almost a little too gross for me, but like just the Jerry Springer showing you how different people's lives are from you and the whole, are you the father or not? The father was just so bizarre to me. I just couldn't believe it. But yeah, I think I'll go with Zach from Saved by the Bell when he narks on the guy for doing drugs. Oh yeah. There was some crazy Saved by the Bell episodes. I'm so excited. I'm so excited. I'm so scared moment. You guys remember that? Okay. That was another drug episode, like caffeine pills. Your most shocking breaking news you've remembered from the 90s. For me, it was Kurt Cobain dying. We were living up just north of Seattle at the time, so even when at my very young, I think I was like five when it happened, but it was all anyone was talking about. And for that to be like all pervasive into even like kindergarten, school, kid conversations, it was the first time I was kind of confronted with the reality and the gritting grittiness of life and death and stuff. It was a pretty intense little stretch of time there for us. For me, it was the O.J. Simpson Bronco Chase. I still remember like the class I was in when that happened. And oh no, you know, I remember when they found him not guilty, but the Bronco Chase was just crazy. I have Bill Clinton sex scandal break. Yeah. Monica Lewinsky. Yeah. Because I was wild. I was like 11, so I just kind of barely could comprehend what it even meant. Yeah. But I was getting there. So it's kind of like how I learned what sex is. So wait, she put her mouth on it? Yeah. That's another one where honestly, the news did such a bad job of painting like the portrait of her. There's a podcast I really like called Slow Burn, and they did a whole season on the Monica Lewinsky scandal, and you get a really good feel for just how kind of abusive that relationship was too. And the weird power dynamic and stuff. So yeah. Okay. And then most shocking breaking news or no, that's the one I just, I want just a memorable penis from a movie or TV show. How can I decide? My mind goes to Eastern promises. There's the whole scene with Viggo Mortensen where he's fighting like Russian gangsters in a bathhouse. And his dick is just swinging the whole time. So that's just when I when I hear like penis scenes in movies, that's where my mind goes. I kind of think it was a bad decision because when I watch that movie, that's the only thing I can look at is his penis. That's all I remember from that movie. That's truly it. I remember he has tattoos and that his penis is swinging around in that bathhouse scene. Yeah. Like it could be like Jackie Chan level of choreography fight scenes and I'd just be like locked in on the penis. It's like, why even bother? You know? Yeah. Growing up like conservative religion or religious family, right? We didn't watch R rated movies. So I never really saw penis in anything until in college. I'm watching the movie movie Amadeus. Yeah. The Mozart movie. And it's just like no reason for a penis to be in that movie. I was just shocked. I was like, I didn't even know they could put penises in movies. That's great. Great movie. I love that movie. Yeah. The one I think about a lot actually is in Ingmar Bergman's movie persona, the old 1960s movie. And at the very beginning, there's a prologue where it's doing like subliminal imaging, kind of like that scene in Fight Club where he splices in a couple of frames of like sexual content into the movie, film reel. And at the very beginning of persona, there's like a frame or two that just flashes so quick. And I wasn't all the way locked into the movie just like quite yet because it was just starting. And I didn't want to go back. I didn't want to like rewind because I was like, let's get into this movie. Let's get going. But for the next 15 minutes, I was like, I'm pretty sure I saw a penis. I need to go back and make sure. So like a half hour into it, I went all the way back to the beginning just to make sure. And yeah, there's a penis there just for a brief moment. Dude, you're good at spotting them. Yeah. Lepron. You got a real eye for them. Oh yeah, Leprons. All right. And then next category is a person where karma eventually caught up to them. You guys are going to hate my answer for this one. I thought of the warden from Shawshank Redemption because that one's always like really satisfying to me where he in spoilers, if you haven't seen this movie where he like has the one guy killed that could get Andy to frame like off just because he wants him to keep cooking his books for him and stuff. And then when Andy gets out, he just completely screws them over and and the police show up and he kills himself. So I yeah, that one was always really satisfying to me. I hate that guy. Yeah, me too. Obtoos as Andy calls him. I'm going to go with so this is another real life one. So do you remember a couple of years ago, there was a 101 year old former SS guard that facilitated like some of the concentration camp goings on and they wheeled him out in his wheelchair and he was like holding the binder up in front of his face because he didn't want anyone to see him. But he was 101 years old and they gave him like 10 years in prison. It was just like, you know what, it better late than never, I guess. Ideally, it would have happened 70 years ago, but like at least he's still alive to acknowledge and get kind of owned for what he did. Yeah, because it always it feels so terrible when those people die and then they find out and it's like, oh, he just got to live his whole life and anonymity. So yeah, I'm glad they caught that guy. Mine is I came up with the question is wasn't like I wanted to just shout this answer out. But then the more I thought about it, the more I think it works. I'm going with Steve Irwin. Whoa, I do kind of eat that. Honestly, though. Yeah. But then like he was picking up deadly animals all the time and like messing with crocodiles, messing with wild animals that can kill them all the time. So like it is karma. As Norm would say, a fruity fish guy. A fruity fish guy. Is that karma though? He's been casting all life a little bit. Yeah. Okay. Like I think there's a lot of defense to what he was doing, but I still don't think there's any defense that he was like, at least at a minimum bothering wildlife for sure that was dangerous. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. Yeah. That's a hard one for me. But I will say my view of Steve Irwin has changed a bit. Like I still he was still like a huge hero of mine. And I think he inspired so much good for wildlife that the bad that he did outweighs the good. But I kind of you always wish that person could just exist in a vacuum where like they got to do it and they could pass that message. But now there's so many clones of him doing it that I wish weren't, you know, like out there harassing wildlife. So yeah. So he definitely did do some harm too. Yeah. And I don't think karma necessarily it's or I should just say like I don't think he was at all a bad person. Right. But I do think it's still karma. Yeah. For sure. Sure. Yeah. Should we go to listener questions? Yeah, let's do it. Let's go. All right. So I did 90s themed and we got some fun ones. Wes, this is your friend does nails long time listener. Goddy octopus. Val. Yeah. I should say our friend. Our friend. Yeah, you know that pretty well. Okay. So you can only keep one of these 90s animal movies. Homeward bound free willy or airbud. I'm keeping free willy. I think I'm keeping actually my least favorite one of them now, but homeward bound just because I got a lot of used out of that as a kid and just watched that a lot of it. True. Which movie do you think involved the least amount of animal cruelty? I don't know. I mean, I probably airbud because it's just a dog doing tricks. Yeah, that dog probably loved its job. Yeah, probably. I've always wondered in homework bound, is it the first one in one of the movies? I forget who shadow I think gets the porcupine needles in his face. And that just looks so real that it's like that probably they just actually let that happen to that dog. It's sad. I'll keep my answer to airbud. You just talked me out. Or free willy. I guess free willy was really good for orcas. Yeah, it's good for orcas. I wonder about the one they used in the movie though. I don't know what happened to that orca. Sometimes, you know, that orca sacrificed itself for the good of all orcas. Fair enough. I'd heard they released it and it just wasn't able to re-assimilate back into like normal orca life, but that's just hearsay. I have no idea. I think that's pretty typical for most. Well, that's on it. That's its fault. After being in like a tank, they could fairly be normal. If we put you back in the ocean, it's up to you now. They're supposed to be smart, aren't they? Couldn't figure out how to put on a hat. Like the rest of the orcas. Gahn's artist asks Favorite 90s Toy. Another friend of ours. She did the art for the Treadwell episodes. Favorite 90s Toy? Yeah. Bop it. Mine was my creepy crawler's oven. Oh, yeah. That's a good one. That's way better than I actually don't like Bop it at all. It's the only one I can think of now. Just got super heated and had like weird chemicals for kids to play with. So cool. My friend brought one into school for show and tell and made everyone little treats, and it was just like abhorrent, and there was like a pink fog that gathered on the ceiling. Like I couldn't put my room for hours after I ran that little oven. Yeah. It's great. Those ovens are so fun. I'm probably gonna go with Beanie Babies. You love Beanie Babies. Man, millennium. When I got my hands on that, I thought I had it made for life. Your retirement plan was sex. When I think of 90s toys and you, I think I do think of Beanie Babies. So I think that's a good answer. Yeah. Okay. Edda Grubb wants to know if Wes ever had sex with that Robin. No, I did not. It's not chirping. Yeah, it's gone. It's not chirping. I don't think you'd tell us if you had. When I left for Yellow Stone, it was still chirping. When I came back, it was not. So hopefully it found a mate and it's happy, but I'm glad to have it gone. Jessica's fair. If you could bring one piece of fashion back from the 90s, what would it be? I think for me, just like really bright neon clothes. I just really liked all the neon and that's more of like an 80s thing though, right? That's kind of was my first thought too. Now, there was like a lot of like pink and yellow and definitely more than there is now, for sure. In the early 90s. You know, okay, a backup then would be silk shirts. Silk shirts really had a moment in the 90s and boy, did they feel good. So I'll say silk shirts. I'll go Ginkgo jeans. The Ginkgos. I don't even want them for me, but like seeing someone with just the hugest jeans. Kids are wearing those again. They're kind of coming back. Yeah. I like the wallet chains. Those are kind of making a little bit of a comeback, but those were like, if I saw someone with a wallet chain, I was like, that dude is sick. That guy has to be the coolest. I never, I'm going to get one. I'm going to order one right after we finish recording. I liked grunge fashion too. Jeff kind of has a grunge look going on right now, like a bandana and yeah, great look. Yeah. Yeah. Chip, they're on a flannel. Be in the sweatshirt group with you guys. Not a sweatshirt, but bundle. Back Jay Reed wants to know thoughts on Fred Durst. Oh, complicated. I don't want to say anything definitive because he seems like the kind of guy that might have skeletons in his closet that I just don't really know about. But I will say that in the year 2025, still kind of in the public discourse in as far as like rock music community is concerned. And I have the utmost respect for anyone that outlived the new metal phase and can still kind of pull his weight socially. It's like kind of amazing that we all know his name and what he looked like and who his partners were and all that stuff. It's pretty crazy. Yeah. For me, new metal isn't good music, but sometimes it just like scratches the right itch for me. And especially like at the gym or whatever. Sometimes I'll I'll relisten to some new metal favorites. Fred Durst specifically always seemed like a really bad person to me. But but he kind of led that movement. And who knows? I that was kind of his like persona. So I don't know if he actually is or if that's just kind of what he was just trying to be like a bad boy, you know? Yeah. So I think again, growing up conservatively, he was like too much for me. But I still listened to to Limp Bizkit. To me, their first out of so good. Yeah. Like the soul patch and like backwards hat and stuff like he was always like kind of cringy. But it always felt like genuine enough that it didn't bother me, I think. Yeah. No, I think he was being very true to himself. Yeah. Also, if you watch a documentary called Woodstock 99, he's like such a crazy character in it, because it's just like, obviously, things are going off the rails. Like it's badly organized, people are getting hurt. And then like, they're trying to just settle everyone down. And he just like turns the volume all that he's just like, let's just get this thing is like, crazy as possible. Yeah, the song breaks stuff and like everyone just like destroys everything. They told him to bring it down. And he was just like, no. And honestly, that's fair. Like you don't put Limp Bizkit on at that point. If you want them to like turn down the volume, like I get it, you know, the organizers were to blame for that. Yeah. Okay. Frosty Tube asks favorite television commercials from the 90s because commercials were often big, bright color for well geared towards young people, especially in that time like soda and fast food or whatever. Yeah. I'll start us off. I love Capri Sun commercials. Made me really. Yeah, Capri Sun. Where it's just like following the stream of liquid and all the kids were just like surfing and doing whatever. It's just seemed like crazy technology. Yeah. Yeah. It's like the the got the Terminator and Terminator too, but is a Capri Sun juice. Yeah. So cool. I'm gonna pick a weird one for me. But there is a Marines commercial in the 90s where it's like a night that is fighting a dragon or something. And then he turns into a Marine and it was like peak military propaganda, I think, because it really made Marines seem like Mike's brothers. They got that. Both my brothers. You get dragons? I'm gonna go with the Budweiser What's Up commercial. It's probably the most annoying in retrospect. How many people copied that and did it for decades and continue to do it. Jeff still do it to this day. I know. It's insane. But it was it was a phenomenon for weeks after the Super Bowl. I think it was the Super Bowl. I forget who it was. The Packers were playing, I think. Yeah. But just everybody was doing it to me. I was doing it to my dad and he would do it back to me and that's like not a thing that my dad would do. You know, it was the golden age. The golden age of Super Bowl commercials because now they just like throw in celebrities and think that's enough. Right. But yeah, back then. I hate it. Some great commercials. Watching, having been watching a Wimbledon or a French open. Yeah. Matt Damon's in like these commercials where it's just like talking like he thinks pickle balls is about the food pickles. It's so stupid. And it's just like, I don't like you as much anymore. Right. Like you're an A-list celebrity that I don't want to watch as much anymore. Right. Or like Will Ferrell and like the PayPal commercials. So bad. I think you're less funny now. You're ruining your entire reputation by a little pageant. Well, they do it in movies now too where they just throw in someone that you're like, Oh, I know that person. And you they think that's enough to like make their movie good. That's not. Yeah. We're better than that. Yeah. Commercials. We're better than that. All right. Should we give her a claw rating? Think I had. Oh, yeah. I'm giving what's her name? Lorena Bobbit. I'll give her, I'll give her a pretty easy 10 claw. Sure. I'm all the way on her side. What about ouchies? Ouchies. That's pretty big ouchie. I mean, he didn't even get out of bed. Yeah, that's true. The bowl is almost worse. Yeah. To me, the Franken penis is way. The Franken weenie. Got it. The worst. I'll give it six ouchies, but I'm going to give Lorena nine claws as well. I would say if that. Or you did 10. I'll do 10. I got, I gave her a 10. I will say, I think the dude, that fish, the ouchie, the ouchie, the ouchie, the ouchie, the ouchie, the ouchie, the ouchie, the ouchie, I'll give that a 10. Yeah, that was swimming up there and putting its barbs into you and you can't get it out. That's a good fish. I want to do one subscription question too, because great. We should get our subscribers on here. Okay. So this is from Brittany. Hey guys. So I just watched the movie 65 and it got me thinking, do you think it's possible we have already been visited by aliens back when dinos roamed the earth and possibly around the same time earth was being destroyed by asteroids and they just looked at our planet like a total uninhabitable place, not with the time. The way you're reading this makes it hard to. It's possible, I guess. I didn't really follow that well. Yeah, but Mike, we saw that movie together, didn't we? 65 or whatever. Yeah. 45, 75 with Adam Driver. Yeah. That's a crazy. There was always like crocodiles and sharks and stuff, right? Yeah. The thing that really bothered me about that movie, I still remember it to this day is that they've created fake dinosaurs for it, dinosaurs that didn't exist in the paleontological record. Yeah. And I remember thinking, do they not have the rights to dinosaurs? Why didn't we just use dinosaurs? Why do we have to use these weird so many options for dinosaurs? Right. Why do we use these weird, bizarre ones? So there's a lack of dino action in that movie that I found happy. Man, that would be our world to have rights to dinosaurs. Yeah. Yeah. I don't think so. I don't think, me and Mike talked about this a little bit. I think the only way aliens could get here is if they're robots. I don't think physical beings can chat. I feel like in a limitless universe, surely there's beings out there that have invented a way to do that. But the thing that I don't think is that they would come here just to observe or like, I think if they came here, they would destroy us. So I don't think they visited us yet. Right. But that's what the three body problems were made of. We would destroy them. Yeah. It's the whole dark forest thing. Maybe they did. Read those books. They're great. Waiting for us to be able to make peace so that they can bring us in the fold, you know? Yeah. Could be. Also, Regina was asking if you think horses and zebras switch places, like zebras are horses now and horses are zebras. Would it, how similar would everything be? Like would we still have like all the zebra lore that we have around horses? Mike, do you think you would still hate horses if horses were just like zebras and zebras were like horses? Zebras, I mean, they're like, they're just horses with a barcode, right? It's like they're the same thing. But you liked seeing zebras in the wild. Zebras are so much cooler than horses out there. Yeah. Not being subservient to humans just for a little handful of alfalfa or whatever horses eat. Yeah, I wonder. Because I've just heard zebras are so mean. Like people that have worked with zebras just say they're the meanest animals. But like so are wild horses, right? I don't know. I think it's different, though. I think zebras are even worse. But who knows? I don't know. I honestly don't know. They probably get pissed. They're not quite as big, right? So they probably get mad at us riding them all the time. I personally, like I'm glad we, I think horses are more beautiful than zebras because we have so many varieties of horses and zebras all essentially look the same to me. So I'm glad that. The little bits of like how good your horses would be so boring with zebras. Yeah, true. So I give horses a zero clock. Zebras get an eight. All right. Well, we'll see how people react to this one. Not really a typical. We'll closely monitor the metrics. It's fine. This was your first episode. I was giving you a hard time, but it, you know, that's you, that's the special sauce that you bring to this podcast. A lot of times it it's more animal focus. Sometimes it's not as animal first. Yeah. You know, we've released hundreds of episodes. There's, there's going to be some that go a little different direction and that's totally fine. There's the bobbit. There's a bobbit. How else am I supposed to tell you about a bobbit worm? Yeah, that was the whole point of that. Just to just be able to for 30 seconds tell us about the bobbit worm. Yeah. Great. All right. Thanks guys. Well, thank you everyone. Love you. See you too. Bye.