JASON SCHWARTZMAN RETURNS (And Went Overboard In Lake Tahoe)

Hey, Baji. Hey, Sufi. How are you? I'm great. How are you? Good. We had a pretty cool visitor at our apartment this morning. I'm fascinated. You want to guess? Visitor at the apartment. I don't. Lice. Oh, jeez. It was actually last night. So Addy, we went on vacation and Addy was scratching her head. My sister-in-law, Ariya, was like, I think she has lice. I'm like, no, we're just going to the beach every day. She gets in and her hair. And then we came home last night and we had one of those little lice combs. Yeah. Because you guys are fancy. Yeah. So Alexi pulled the lice comb through her hair and then put it on a tissue paper and there was a little dot. And she was like, it felt tiny. She goes, can you take a picture of it with your phone and then zoom in? And she's like, what's taking so long? I'm like, I can't because the dot keeps moving. It's like I can't get a picture of it. It's moving around to me. Oh no. That's a process. Well, you know what? I think it's the best now that it's ever been. We found, I think it's called lice mamas. Hashtag non-anad. For real. We called up a place and they were being like, hey, what's up lice mamas? Oh yeah. And they came over and so they checked all their heads. I guess, dude, I have lice. How many guess you did not? I had lice. I didn't have the most lice. Yeah. Also, they said something very nice, which was they go, you know, a lot of people say the dirty hair has lice. Lice actually likes clean hair. And I was like, based on that, I thought I was in the clear. That's what I thought, that your hair was going to be so awash in like, I don't know, old gel that lice wouldn't be able to sustain. The lice would be like, no, thank you. Like this one-star hotel. Yeah. So we had to do the lice, but it's a process in that it's like an hour a person to get the lice out. And they like slather you up and drag those combs through your hair, right? Don't they? Yeah. I looked real, I had a real Gordon Gekko vibe this morning when I walked into the hotel. Watching the building. People were like, hey, new hairstyle or lice? And I was like, lice. Is it incumbent upon you, if you're a family with lice, to then sort of tell the world, is it like we've got COVID? Is it? Oh, interesting. And now I'm wondering if it's bad that it's on the podcast. I am pretty sure that when you have the people come and like, delice you. The lice moms. You're in the clear. Because like they basically, like they don't leave until they're confident that you ain't got no lice. Right. Yeah. Well, that's fun. Yeah. Good way to come back to the city after our vacation. We had a great vacation and a lot of beach football with the boys. Oh, that's fun. They can't catch if they're moving. So it's a lot of get to a spot. A lot of button hooks. I'm like, let's play catch. I'm like, it's a lot of families have full, robust lives just playing catch. And they're always like, no, we want to play a game. We want to keep score. Like their whole life is like, who's winning, who's losing. It's never just like, let's have a nice time together. Do you, I bought, you weren't there the last time I went to your apartment, but I found a tech mobile board game. It's fantastic. It's fantastic. I love it with them and it's so fun and it's such a throwback and it's so basic, but it's good. I haven't seen it yet because they have this like new, I can't remember what it's called, like, but they have this like refurbished Game Boy type thing where they can only play like Mario Tetris, that kind of thing. And they got a tech mobile for that, which I haven't seen yet, but I've heard they don't like it, which I'm surprised by because they loved playing your tech mobile board game. But I think there was something about the actual tech mobile that like they had fallen in love with the board game version more, which is obviously in the state age, incredible. What kind of football are you throwing around? Little Nerf ball or smaller? No, a little, little like rubbery leather thing, but like smaller. You know, it's not an official football because it's like Aqua and there's a bunch of like sea life on it. If it hits them, if it goes through their hands and hits them right on the head, is somebody crying or is it like soft? Stunned. Stunned and then assessing whether or not they should cry and then find. Yeah. Yeah. And you had the whole ash posse with you, right? The Mishbukka as it's known. Yeah, we had the whole Mishbukka. Lovely. You know, they're a good group. Yeah. Were Tom and Joanne, the grandparents on that side, were they off doing their own thing? No, they were with us most of the time. Okay. They're a good hang. Yeah, I know they are. They like doing their own things. They do like doing their own thing, but you know, they didn't have a social life. Like a lot of times we are with them and their friends are around. Right. And so they didn't have any of that here. Gotcha. You will enjoy that at one point, and I kept my cool on this trip, but I think I did a really good job. Right at the end, I was very mad at Axel, both Alexi and I said, don't bring your wallet. He has this like old wallet and he has all his money in it, which is like $41. And like he has like a decommissioned ID of mine, like just like it's like, but he means a lot to him. And we're like, don't bring it. Like you just lose it. On the trip or like to the beach. Yeah, he wanted to bring it on the trip. Just on the trip in general, like don't bring your wallet. He's like, I need it. So he brings his wallet. Last day is like, I don't know where my wallet is. And we got like an hour before we leave. And I'm to my credit, I literally spent an hour looking for this wallet. And there's one at one point, like everybody's like, have we checked the loft? There's like this like sort of loft room. And I'm like, Axel, you've been in the loft. He's like, I would have been in a loft. And so I was like, I'll go check the loft. So I go and check the loft. I don't see the wallet. And I'm just like, I'm like, Axel, we don't have your wallet. He's like so upset. And you know, at the same time, I'm like, which doesn't matter to a kid. But I'm like, I told you not to bring it. He's not like, ah, you're right. So it's a teachable moment. Is it a teachable moment, Papa? So then Ash goes up in the loft on his own and finds the wallet. So it was somewhere else. I had missed it. Yeah. In the loft and Ash comes down. I'm so happy. And then you can imagine this from my in-laws. Yeah. And they're like, didn't we say to look there? I said to check the loft. And I'm like, didn't I thought I said to look there. And then I think I said something along the lines of like, oh, look at us go. Turning a positive into a negative. Have you considered the possibility that Ash had stolen this wallet and then was like, oh, I'll go look for it. Oh, here it is. Oh, oh, my God. And he was like, this is, I'm holding on to this piece of hot property. And I need to find a way to write this ship. And I'll go look at the place that everyone's saying to go look. And I've had it the entire time. I mean, he, because he did me so dirty. Well, because not only, because he came down and he was like, not only was he like, because I was like, oh my God, you found it. And instead of being like, yeah, it was under the, he's like, yeah, it was right there. How did you miss it? Like immediately. And I'm like, yeah, it's just pretty. I'm like, if your brother didn't want it, it was bad. And it was right at the end, but I was very, I felt very good. I was in the water a lot, playing with kids. Addy had this little inflatable flamingo, like, you know, a little ring that she'd be in the middle of. And she, all she wanted to do was go as deep as we could in the ocean. And then she would tell me to go and check how deep it was. And I had to go under water. Um, we play a game where I pretend to be Count Olaf from the Lemony Snicket books. And it is an exhausting game that I don't want to play anymore. Cause I have to, I have to do a voice and it's some boy, the voice gets frustrating to do. And, uh, it's a, she's very bossy when we play. Count Olaf. She'll be like, count off. You are Count Olaf, but you are nice and you are hungry. And the only one who has food is me. And it's just, she's the best though. She's also, uh, watching her swim, uh, we also had a pool and, uh, she likes to dive for rings and she's just like a very strong swimmer and like being underwater and watching her like go, like kick her little legs and get down. Yeah. I like, I like diving for rings too. Diving for rings is really good. Yeah. If I'm at a pool and they have them, I'll just throw them into myself and go. Did I tell you the story by me and Axel negotiating what time he could wake me up? Yeah. Uh, mom and dad told me, but, uh, yeah, but, man, talk about something I shouldn't do. No, but like relate, it's a good story. I think you can relate the story for our listeners. There were, the story is I was having a sleep in the bunk bed. I slept in Ash's upper bunk because Ash was sick and sleeping with Lexi. And so I said that Axel, remember, don't wake me up until seven. He goes, I'm going to wake you up at six and I'm like six 40. And he goes six 20 and I'm like six 30 and he's six 20. And I go six 25. He goes six 20 and I go six 21. He goes, all right, fine, but I might be a minute early. It's like for the best. And what time did he get you up? Six, oh, you know what? Six 30. And he said, and you look tired. No, six 25. He said, you look tired. So I gave you five more minutes. Do you think for that five minutes he was just standing next to you looking at you? I think he like, I was top bunk. So yeah, I think he might have been, because I feel like I heard like some creek in on this. I think he creaked up the stairs, creaked down and then like thought, you know, he did the best he could. Yeah. Yeah. He wakes up, he's ready to go. We had our niece with us and there was, we put all four of them in one room and kind of a disaster. Oh yeah. But it was fine. At night when the three of them all went to bed together. Yeah. Also no screens, but we have these, you know, these like story boxes that are sort of all the rage right now. Yeah. Four kids with headphones on going to bed is a very funny look. It does. It looks like, it looks like first class in an airplane. Like they're just like, like four life flat seats. They can't just agree to listen to one story together. No. No. Yeah. And then eventually we just, we moved to mattress and our room and how do you slip with us? There you go. Very good. Super fun, super fun trip. I, oh, the other thing is we were driving, you know what a moke is, you know, those little cars? No, they're very cool. You'd like a moke. Yeah. And I was, you know, I was very excited to drive one and went to this restaurant and valet it. And then it was right there. It was right by the valet stand. And so, you know, I paid the guy and I'm like, it's that one right there. And he's like, do you want me to pull it out for you? I'm like, nah, man, I'm good. And then I fully backed it into a motorcycle. And the guy who had just, I'd just been like, I got it was literally did this. He was like, oh, I am looking at it. It's cool. It's very cool. Yeah. Oh, fun. Um, but I, I had to, uh, I do want everybody to know, uh, it was not like the, the motor's like, it was not, you couldn't tell anything, but I did give the guy my number and was like, tell him what happened if you want. And nobody called me. So, no, there you go. I mean, I, sorry, I gave him a number. You have a Maxwell's number. I gave him a Maxwell's number. Um, we have a returning guest. First time we've had just a straight up, someone's been a guest and they came back and they're doing a full episode as a guest again. It's Jason Schwartzman, everybody. He's the best. He kind of requested. He was like, give me back out there. Yeah. And he, he kind of requested again. Uh, yeah, I think this isn't, this isn't the last, this isn't the last we've heard of. Um, he's got a new, uh, a new show called Kevin, which, uh, he'll tell you, he loves it. Yeah. He just loves it. He plays a card. We love him. Yeah. And, uh, do enjoy. And, uh, it's great to see you, Pashi. Yeah. After a week away. Yeah. And, uh, yeah. Here's Jeff Tweedy. I see. There he is. I see. Returning champion. Returning champion. You know, this is the first timer. Yeah. First time we've had a return guest. I'm well, Olyphant, Olyphant's been on twice, but he's part of a holiday. Yeah. He's, he comes uninvited. He just clinks on a zoom link that used to see if it's the worst. He kind of has, yeah. He has one of those. His zoom is that premium zoom where you can just join any zoom you want. He gets an alert when there's a podcast. I feel like Jason's already frozen. No, there he is. No, he came back. Am I, is it my problem on this? No, it is your problem. Because you've moved out of a center of our industry. Well, it used to be where the industry was, where the internet was good. And now you've decamped. Are you, are you public about the fact that you've left Los Angeles? Should I be using a personal hotspot? I have a land, I have a landline hotspot. Wait, I do notice it, but is it better now? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Well, we're working on it. Yeah. I haven't told, I mean, some of my family probably doesn't know that I'm here. Okay. But, but I love it. That's great. Are you, have you moved out of the state? Yeah, I don't need you to say exactly where you've landed here. No, so mysterious. I'm, um... Sorry, hold on. Oh, come on, dear. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. Oh, dear. You're in Montreal. I'm in Montreal of all places. No, we moved to North Carolina. Oh, look at that. I, uh, what was the impetus behind it? Do you have, do you have a connection to it? Well, it's a, it's not a funny story or a good, but I'll tell you because you just asked. There's, it's, it's, it's, it's a, it's a weird story. And I don't know how the right way to tell it. But first of all, here's how I found out about us moving. I, I, I, that's, I found out about it. My last year, um, I was checking in with my family who was, um, they were on spring break and I was working. Yeah. And, um, my, my eldest daughter's best friend since kindergarten, they are like sisters. It's like another, we're very lucky to have that. Mm hmm. I don't, I'm not, you know, very like, she's like another daughter to us in a way. And, um, so our two families were on a trip together, which yes, I wasn't on. And, um, we were just catching up. My wife and I, and then she said, Oh, I have to go, but we're thinking about moving it, moving to North Carolina. If we can talk about it more, but, but, but soon the girl, if we do it, we're going to do it before, before ninth grade. So we have to move this summer, about half to go. And I said, okay. Right. Is this, is this in line with the way your wife often is? Or were you, were you taken aback by this? Or were you like, Oh, that's her, that's her. Great question. Um, it's not in line for her to, that's a pretty big like, yeah. Yeah. I mean, if she's doing this kind of stuff all the time, that would be. Yeah. No, that's a, I mean, um, no, I mean, but it's not in line for me to hear like, Hey, we're going to have pizza tonight. You know, if you're okay with it. Yes, no problem. Um, but yeah, but no, yeah, we're not, we're moving this fall is not some minute, but, um, anyway, but I get, you know, and they had my wife and the wife of their family had been talking about it. And, um, yeah, I think it was just like wanting a different way of life. And our kids really kind of were the ones that's like initiated it to be honest. Um, but by, but, but the story for me, that is, so we have no roots down here or anything, but, um, in 1994 or five, I forget when the first Ben Folds five record came out, right? By the way, I got, I remember I got it. And, um, looking through the book, the booklet, and I remember there being a picture inside of it, of them playing live. And it said, uh, it said the name of the venue in North Carolina. I don't know if the, you know, and I said to myself, okay, I, if we ever get to tour and, and, and, and play, this is going to be like a big place for me. Got to go there. And sure enough, uh, seven, you know, 2002 or one or two, we, we, we get, we get to this, uh, venue. Um, and it's, I'm so happy to be there. We're loading in and everything. And I'm just like, I'm a real dream come true. And, um, uh, anyway, I was going to call a taxi to go to a market to get food for our next, um, leg of our journey. Um, and this gentleman who was helping us there was like, Oh, no, there's a, you have to call it. He was just very sweet. He's like, there's down there to the left, to the right. It's this wonderful co-op and they're done. Tell him I said, and he was just so helpful and, and so sweet and kind. And you know, when you're in a place for just a short amount of time, that a person like that can come to represent the place to you, you know, um, though we went back many times, it was like Chapel Hill, they're nice. You know, like that really was the impression. It was so sweet. And, um, sure enough. So when we came to, oh, anyway, I said the name. Well, mm-hmm. Sure. Yeah. Okay. Blow up your own spot. Fuck. Yeah, it's okay. Well, anyway, I can tell from the window is Chapel Hill, by the way. Get ready, Chapel Hill. Here come the crowds. Here come the, uh, no, I, it's, it's not, it's really, well, I didn't want to say cause it really is just a Bill Bella check. Moved here. We wanted to just check it out. Follow. You follow Bella track? We're into it. Yeah, we just follow. We kind of picked him as a, Wait, is your, is your daughter's friend his girlfriend? No, no, no, no, no, no. But they have, but that is funny. They have the same name. I'm not kidding. Um, but anyway, but here's the, the story is so we come back here, uh, just, you know, to, to my, to check it out, to see if our kids like it. We go to the club. I take my son to the club that I played cause I have a friend that lives here, uh, a musician. And I said, Hey, we're, we're in town and, uh, would love to see you. And he said, well, I'm going over there right now. If you want, I'm going to do like a music video type thing and you want, I can show you guys around. I said, great. So my son and I go over there. We walk over and my friend's standing outside and he says, uh, Oh Derek, this is Jason, Jason's Derek, uh, Derek runs the place. I say, hello, it's nice to meet you. He goes, uh, loaded in your drums for you 24 years ago. And I said, uh, I said, no, you say that, you know, to all the drummers. And he said, um, no, you had a black, uh, sparkle, Ludwig drum set with little drawings that he knew. He remembered it like very, he knew it. And as he's talking, I realized this is the person that told me where to go to this, to this co-op. And it's, I didn't ever tell him, I still haven't told him, but it just was so powerful. Cause I thought, gosh, in many ways, this gentleman's kindness 24 years ago was really the reason why when my wife said, are you open to moving to this place? I was like, absolutely. Cause of that guy. And it's just weird. Like, and I know it's so just bizarre to me. Like I couldn't believe it. And, uh, I, it was very, uh, it was very cool. Okay. Well, you seem very happy about the move. So I, it's not great. I don't love it. It's like, it's, but we're, you know, I'm hardly here. I'm mostly in LA. I just went down, I did stand up in Durham maybe two months ago. You're kidding. I know I'm bummed. And I feel like maybe somebody told me when I was after the show, somebody mentioned that you'd moved down there and I was equally bummed. But I just want to say about the area you're talking about, not only one of the best shows I've done in that, in regards to how responsive the audience was. Yeah. But afterwards we walked to like a local bar and just so we, we ended up kind of walking down the street with people who'd been at the show. Yeah. And it was just the most lovely people, uh, to be around. So, uh, shout out to that area. Where do you, do you remember where you? D-Pack. Okay. I, I love that. We, uh, I went and took my son, we went and saw, um, Neil deGrasse Tyson there. Hmm. Um, and it was really. So it was pretty, it would have been redundant if you saw me. It's pretty, it's pretty similar. Yeah. I don't like to ever go to the same place twice except 24 years later. It's me, it's me with, uh, no science stuff, no science knowledge talking about. I wonder where you went though. Uh, oh yeah. No science. I do a lot of science. We went to a cool little bar. Although we went, do you know Emily Spivey? She's, yeah. Of course. So that, I think that might have been who said that you were down there. Um, she lives down there and she, yeah, she came to the show and we went to a bar and it was a really cool bar. And then maybe at like 10 o'clock, the bar was like transitioning into more of a nightclub and they turned the music up and it was, we felt a hundred years old because we were having so much fun. And then we immediately were like, well, I can't hear anything. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I know it's, but there are so many wonderful, I wonder where you went because there's so many wonderful, I haven't really explored, but, um, it's wonderful down there. I love it. So. Did the move have anything to do with you being intimidated by Nick Offerman? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. At the end of the last episode you talked about, yeah. Well, it's, well, it's, I, uh, you didn't, you didn't say his name, but we, I, you know, I'll tell you, I think the, I guess I ran away or yeah, I left. Right. Because I didn't want to see people. Yeah. And it's great because here I speak with an English accent. And I just kind of, I reinvented myself and it's, it's, it's so cool because you don't get to do that in life. You know, it's like, uh, It's so funny for an actor to think they can move and reinvent themselves. Hello. Oh yes. I'm, I, uh, I work for a cream cheese company. Yeah. We're in town, uh, researching your local bagels, which you do have dairies here. Oh yes. And then you're very clearly going to take them over for nefarious means. Yes. Do show me your dairies. And so these bagels, they're sold at a price is such as this. Really? They're like, Hey, uh, Jason Schwartzman's acting like a dumb British person. He's shocked by the cost of everything. What? Well, is this many pounds for a bagel? Why? Anyway, sorry. Hey, we're going to take a quick break and hear from some of our sponsors. Support comes from article. Hey, Bajie. Hey, Sufi. 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I'm a little bit older than that. And we need something a little bit more low key. So we got a lovely, charming nearby home on Airbnb that is going to be sort of our chill out, wake up, have coffee, get home, talk about the day, pad for, you know, the more reserved set. Fantastic. We've got our own pool. It's just going to be such a port in the storm for us. It's very nice. And it's a reminder that with Airbnb, you can find homes for the night owls and you can find homes for the early birds. Booking a trip on Airbnb makes for a better trip. You can be traveling with your family or looking to discover authentic and local experiences. The first time you were on, Seth asked you like what was a big vacation that you took and you responded there weren't any. Yes. So yeah. So this is, but then at the end of the episode, you said I had so many stories that I wanted to tell. So I kind of like feel free to just tell any of those stories. I forgot. I forgot so many of what they were because they were so coming out of things we were talking about. But I know that one really big one was that we talked about towards the hour we actually brought up these two big trips that I did take where I went to a play writing festival. Remember we talked about this. Yes. And did I go into it at great detail though? Some detail. There was one in Italy where you would go to the talk back. And then the other one that your mom got invited to and then never went to a show, but you would tell all the shows. Okay. So I've done those. I've done those. Those were big ones that I was excited to talk about more, but why don't we just find new things to talk about? And where did we leave off? Can you refresh me? Those were the sort of those are the last I did want to ask you. You didn't go into much depth about puppetry or rocketry camp. Yeah, I can tell you about that. Yeah. And in depth. I mean, okay. But what is depth? What is depth? I mean, by the way, for a kid who at one point was going to rocketry camp and now bringing his own son to see the Old Agrest Ice and what a life is a flat circle or well, let's talk about this. No, no. But here I think that's just I know what you're saying, but we were going to kneel at the grass Tyson to like, we were just tailgating. We didn't actually see him. Oh, yeah. Hang it out outside. Yeah. Hang it out outside. Well, let's just say we hang out with the anti science crowd. Right. I was a little trouble at the grass. Hey, were you were you idiots going? Going to their deep pack? Huh? Okay. But we don't, you know, so it's funny you say my, my kids go to sleep away camp and they love it. And they go for two weeks, which and my son went for the first time when he was six God or like, yeah, I mean, like a remarkably young age, truly to be away for two weeks in a totally different place. And he loved it. And it's funny because my wife, um, she loved camp. She went, I think for like, she was one of those people who'd go for a month. And the idea of that is was, you know, a hard thing for me to want to do as a kid. And I said to my wife, why did you like, were you like when you was like raised to like a buoy? Did, you know, everyone line up on the dock and that's not what I. I'm good at. And I don't like that kind of, um, that kind of instant competition. I think that's what led me to rocketry and puppetry camp was because it was a bit more like, I mean, though some rockets would go higher than others and it would be easy to tell they're a clear, you know, better rocket, it was a bit more supportive. And, um, and I think that, uh, you know, I could come home and the, and the puppetry camp, I loved so much because I still have the puppet. My mom still has it. It was a giant worm. Um, it's one of the, yeah, I have a photo of myself with it. And I just, I think that I loved, um, that's the environment that I felt kind of better in. I think even at a young age was like, is that weird to say that it's a, it's a, it's, it's kind of, I guess it's non-competitive in a way compared to others. Like it was, I liked the idea of like, oh, what do you got over there? Oh, those are good buttons. Those are good. That's really good. You should keep going with that. Is that a spider? You know, I think that like I was really, um, I liked that environment and, um, and seeing what everyone, I liked making things. And I think that that's always been like, uh, you know, even now we're my, like, you know, my wife's really good at, at, uh, while running our lives and our families. But, but also, you know, and part of that is trips and coming up. And it's so funny how unnatural it is to me to think ahead, to plan a trip. It's not, no, you know, and I, and I don't know, I don't know if it's from never doing it. Um, but she said to me recently, like, well, what is your idea of like, um, fun or relaxing? And, um, it was such a weird question because I have so much fun and I'm like, I love, I'm like, I love, I love everything and I'm so relaxed. I think, but it was, it did stop me. Yeah. And I, and I don't know how to answer such a question. Um, and you know, it is very funny for someone you've been married to for a very long time and three children, correct? Yeah. To ask me what's my idea. I'm just like, what would you like? Well, what, what chills you out? What are you into? When's your birthday? Um, no, we, no, it's, well, no, it was, it was just, I think she was a little frustrated. And I think genuinely confused. Um, I mean, do you find the same things fun that you found fun? When you were a kid, have the, is there a through line? Nothing's changed for me as far as what I find fun and what I find, but I actually think more things are fun to me as I got older, as opposed to less. Well, because my kids are wired a little bit differently than I was. My wife is very wired differently. And so it's a lot of being outdoors. It's a lot of beach and like boat and things that I am not covetous of. And yet I have found that because that's where my children are. If I kind of open my heart to it, it's a great way to spend time. But like, even when Josh went, I go, you know, our parents would bring us to Florida and I would just want to like sit in a hotel room and read a book. Like that's what I've ever wanted to do. And you can't do that as a dad. What do you do? No. And what do you do at the beach? Now I feel like, you know, they are a little bit more of they can, you know, the boys are about to be 10 and eight and so they can entertain themselves a little bit. But like, if they bring a football to a beach, like they want me to throw at the whole time, that's not bad. Like it's more fun. I like that more than five years ago where it was like, dig us a hole. Yes. Like a whole. And that was just, I just felt like, I don't know, there's that scene of Money Python and Holy Grail where they're just like, there's some people like just putting mud in like buckets. Like that's like what surfs did. And like that's, that's kind of like what I felt I was doing is just like, just putting mud in a bucket because we might need it later. And yeah, I hear you. The beach that, you know, Seth and his kids will go to, I've been there and there are these little sand crabs and you dig in the sand and inevitably there's like two or three sand crabs with every scoop of sand. Which kind? A little tiny? Tiny little white, almost translucent. Yes. That disappears sort of very quickly. They run away. Yes. And Seth's middle son Axel would always point them out. Like it was the first time, but it was every single scoop. It'd be like, oh, sand crab. I got it, bro. I got it. Oh, sand crab. And it was like, you couldn't, you could not pick up sand without getting a sand crab. Does he love, does he love on the sand when you have a bucket of sand and a sand crab goes in the bucket? He's like, definitely one in here. Yeah. And then right there, like there's so many in this bucket and you're like, it's all, they're just, 100 sand crabs is basically the same as no sand crabs to me. Yeah. No, it's funny you say that because that is, I do love that. Like I loved, you give me some buckets and a shovel. I will dig and I last summer, last summer we were, we went to Lake Tahoe and I was sitting on this beach, this little beach by the lake was so beautiful and cooked up this idea of my son that we could try to make some type of, like a pipe, a pipeline connecting one thing of water to another to have it filter in around a sandcast. So we went to the hardware store and we bought, went to the plumbing section. I bought various like pipes and things and I had no idea what, I mean, it's the first time I've ever been to that part of the art. So, and it was just weird. I mean, the guy, I didn't want to tell him what I was there to buy. I mean, why it was like, it was just like, What's your project? You're like, all right. You know, it's a three bedroom, Lagoon adjacent. You're like, you're like, wink at it, your son, like, don't give up the game. But we bought this, I bought this really cool fun pipe and we went out there and we must have dug all day and buried it and tried to, and it was just like, and other kids were coming over. What are you doing? You know, like, we're building a tunnel from the, you know, it was like, and it just became kind of like, get in if you want to get everyone's helping and it didn't work at all. But it was, that's, that was a, that's an idea like a perfect that I love, like, kind of getting lost on a weird mission like that I love. Were, did any other parents come by and look at it and be like, it was not going to work? No, I felt one, there was one guy looking at me from a distance. That's what I felt he was thinking, but that was could be total projection. But I did feel that he was clearly going like, idiot, if you just, if you just had it higher than the other side of it, the water would go straight down. Oh yeah, I mean, I don't know much, but I think that, I think that was obvious. That I know, that I know, no, no, that I know, obviously. I just, you know, but I think he just taught you that at Rockets. How, your oldest is, is your oldest is a teenager, right? 15. Wow. So what is, what are family vacations like now with a 15 year old? Great. Well, they're, she loves, she really loves a pool. They love, you know, they like, they like, it's like, I mean, a kind of a classic, she likes a pool and a book and, you know, they love that. That's what they, they, so there's a lot of like, it's a pool focused type thing I find. But still part of the family unit, she hasn't like rejected like the idea of being. Hell no. Okay. Oh my God. No, we have the, I mean, I'm so lucky to say that my kids are, I just, I love them so much. And no, they're pretty down with that. I mean, that said, I do have a thing where other people talk about what they're about to do on a trip and it makes me feel like I'm not a good, there's a lot of things I didn't learn to do that I therefore can't really impart. Yeah. And I, you know, and, and like we, like, yeah, puppets we could, we could do all day here. But I, I feel the same way where I would, I would like to go camping with my kids and I'm a little worried about doing it unless we're with some people who've done some camping. Yeah. But I think one of the great things, I don't know if you felt this way, but like my dad was a very, like, knew what to do type of person. At least that was the impression I got. I'm sure that he did, maybe didn't, who knows. But like a real, like that guy is a, like a, to me, like a, like the superhero, just badass, you know, and new things, new answers to things. And I, I just, I think that for whatever reason, I'm, I'm obviously different than him. And I've really just embraced that. And I think that it's been, I just kind of go with it. So like the camping thing, I would probably be like, let's figure it out together. Like I try to make it, but that, I, that's what I'm saying. I kind of feel like my son's like, I don't want to learn it with you. I want you to go out on a reconnaissance mission, do your homework, figure out the thing, and then show me how to camp when you learn how to do it. I don't want to be on YouTube, in the mountains, watching how to assemble a tent, like with the poles. I just want you to do it. Yeah. It turns out kids, kids are drawn to competence. It does turn out. Well, I'm finding that, well, I'm finding that to be true. And, you know, and the weird thing is that, well, I don't know if this is a good thing to say, but, you know, so much of the things that I do for a living, they don't get to see me do. Right. Which I'm not competent in that either, but if it's the one place in my life where I sort of feel competent a bit, and I, but they don't get to see that. So for all they know, as I'm talking to you now, it sounds like a pretty terrible childhood for them. I mean, they really don't have a father. Well, but I will say we went to a music store the other day in town because my son's taking drum lessons now. And they were really, I felt so into, I just knew, you know, I was that I was in my element there. And I think they were really like, we walked out, my daughter said, wow, you really knew your way around there. They really liked you. It was like, yeah. Oh, that's great. Yeah. They, I felt like, see, I mean, it's embarrassing. But like, when my kids come to my show, I'm so happy. They get to see a place where I know what I'm doing, where I think it's just like I'm over there like, okay. Right. All right. Thank God. Thank God there's some place where he, he's, he's really terrified. I really do. I'm like, oh, see, look, daddy knows where to go, knows where to stand. So people clapping for daddy. They know that he's here. Wow. Yeah. It is just nice when they're like, oh, he doesn't just leave to go act like he does here. Right. Exactly. Exactly. And it, yeah, it's just, and you know, it's also too like, for me, you know, if I, if I, I'm gonna go to work or something and so much of it is just kind of like thinking, you know, you're just thinking about stuff all day long. Like it's just on your mind, all the time you can't stop thinking about stuff. So, but that doesn't look like your work. I mean, from a distance that looks like you could be staring at the floor or something. And so it's, it's weird, you know, like you're thinking about stuff so much, but you know, your kids just see you sitting there sometimes and you're just like, I'm sorry, I am kind of, I mean, I'm not technically working, but you know, this is part of what I do. And, but I was at work recently and I was like, bye guys, I got to go to work. And then 10, 20 minutes later, it was on the set. Someone was showing me like, want to see the cool, um, chimney gag, how we can get the guy to fall down straight to the chimney. I was like, this is the best. Like I just wish like, it doesn't feel like a, you know, I wish they could see me go to work and the first, this is what I do for work. And I just, I'm the happiest person in the world. I love working. I could just, I could, I'm the best version of myself. I love it. I mean, I think, you know, we're lucky. And I was talking, I just had Kurt Russell on the show and he was talking about how many of his grandkids were like, you know, of creative people. And, and both how you are excited that they're doing something they love, but also a little worried because, you know, what the business is like. And I was just like, the problem is like, we love it. And why wouldn't they want to do a thing that it looks fun? It is fun. Yeah. Yeah. And I, yeah, I mean, Kurt Russell, I met him just one time by the way, and I'll never forget how his hands felt. It was like a, it was incredible. It was like, it was like, literally shaking hands with like a beautiful baseball mitt. Or something like that. It was, it was enveloping. And it was enveloping and like, had a feeling like established 1872. Like, you know what I mean? Like, it was just like, it was like for real. Like, it was like, right. And I should remember you shook my hand. I was like, I have never had this experience. I've never had this experience shaking someone's hand like this. This is a different type of hand. And I couldn't believe the only thing that was just distracting besides that was his eyes so blue and beautiful. And I just can't, you know, you can't believe it. But, man, yeah. Yeah, he's the real deal. But, but, what was I going to say is, yeah, I mean, I think that, yeah, we do love what we do. And it's fun too, because, you know, I love what I do. And just because I like, I like, I'm really moved by the idea of, like a bunch of a group of people trying to make one thing is quite, it's very moving to me. So whether it's a band or what, you know, I'm just like, I like, I'm very, I, you know, I'm very moved by that. And I wish, yeah, I wish they could see that. But I don't like them to come to the set. Because I won't, I'm a kind of a dick on the set. I want to see, also see daddy being a dick. Hey, we're going to take a quick break and hear from some of our sponsors. Support comes from a butcher box. Spring is giving fresh start vibes like suddenly you want to open the windows, drink more water and maybe act like you have your life together. But when dinner rolls around and you're this close to ordering takeout, butcher box can help. Don't get takeout. They deliver premium clean protein straight to your door. No antibiotics, no added hormones, no mystery ingredients, just real food that actually fuels your body instead of slowing it down. Everless glow up energy, but make it dinner. For us, for our family, it's just so nice to have hamburgers from a butcher box to know that if all of a sudden it's a weekend night and we don't want to take our kids out, we just want to throw some burgers on the grill. We have a lot of faith, a lot of trust and the wonderful meat that we get from butcher box for over a decade. Butcher boxes led the industry with meat and seafood that's antibiotic free, hormone free and independently verified. 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If you're specific about the kind of tomato you need, maybe to make your grandmother's Sunday sauce, the good people at shipped are going to go out of their way to make sure they meet your specifications. Yeah, they're good like that. Yeah, they could even check in while they're there and say like, Hey, they don't have this, but I could get, you know, they don't have X, but I could get Y or Z and you're like, Oh, get me Z. Yeah. It's that kind of attention to detail that you're going to get that you might not get otherwise. And with shipped, it's never just a delivery order. It's shopped the same day in the same way you would use code podcast to get a year of shipped for only $49 half off the regular $99 price at shipped.com slash offer. That's S H I P T dot com slash offer terms apply. Here you go. You mentioned you have some Polish heritage. I do. In the last episode. Have you ever been to Poland? Never. I'm dying to go. Okay. I'm dying to go. I'm dying to go. Alexi does. My wife does too. And, and we, I really want to go. You know, like there's no, we've never been, she's never been. Really? Yeah. Where's her family from? Do you know? Crack out, I want to say, but I might be making that up. But you know, it's a weird thing where like, you know, obviously, you know, Jewish people from Poland often didn't leave for the best reason. And so I think it's a weird, the visit back is like an interesting choice to make. Yeah. Yeah. Truly. Absolutely. And my grandparents, though, they left earlier anyhow. I think they hit, but, but yeah, I grew up, I didn't even realize they had accents until I remember being like 25 and then realizing they had accents one day because that was just how they talked. But they spoke, they taught themselves how to play English by, by playing Scrabble every night. Which is pretty fun. Yeah. It was neat. That's great. And, you know, I still remember their breath and everything. Any, you guys are so bored right now. Are you so bored? No, no. I was just trying to imagine what their breath was like. Oh, it's good. I'm letting you guys down. I'm sorry. I fucked up. I fucked up. I just thought I fucked up because I was like, oh, they got, they know, they want. I forgot it was me who was saying I had more talk. I was just like, Oh, you just wanted to talk. Yeah. I was like, they got stuff for me. I was like, they got stuff for me. I've got more to ask you like, because they were, we're about to maybe embark on our first family Disney trip. It was that something the Schwartzman had said. Yes. And, yes, very much. As a kid a few times as parents a lot. Yes. Where are you going to go? Not, no. I mean, I would like, I think it's, you know, it's Florida and it's, you know, because there's also Universal down there. And so maybe, you know, you're going to do that. I think we might do it. Yeah. Okay. So that's a little, so I grew up in LA. I know Disneyland. I know. Yeah. I only went to the Florida one last two summers ago. I don't know. It's totally different. It's so big. Yeah. I mean, it's humongous. It's five parks or something, right? Yeah, it's great. It's humongous. Yeah. Another, that's another, and then we went to the waterslide park that's connected to Universal. And yeah, that was another one, like waterslide park. Like, what am I doing at a waterslide park? Well, what did you do? I mean, would you go on the most daring of rides? Guess which one I went on? The Lazy River. Oh, yeah. That seems like your speed. No, I loved it. I loved it because there's a part where it's like kind of rapidy like, whoa, you know, I like that part. And then you go, oh, thank God. Whoa, we just got to get through this one part. Wait, did you ever have you, Nata, I'm going to step away from a second. Have you ever been on an actual white water raft? No, I've never been white water rafting. I've always wanted to do that. We did it once. We did it once when we were young. Yeah. Really? And they were, it was one of those, it was the most of those photos where you do an experience where there's like one part of the white water rapids. And this was on a proper river, but it was a tour and they clearly knew the best place to take a picture. Yeah. How many of there were you? We were young. We were young, but our parents were there, our uncle, probably like, probably eight to 12 to a boat, something like that. Okay. And there was a really great picture of us going over the white waters where everybody's kind of like the picture, someone from the side. I think someone who worked for the, I guess, like we're going to stand up there and that's going to be the picture. That's awesome. We have you over there. But I feel like our uncle Kurt was like stabbing like his ore through the air. Yeah, that's awesome. That's awesome. Did anyone fall out? No. No, I feel like there was a place where you could jump out and just like float here for a little bit because it's a hot day. My wife's uncle who passed away when she was younger, but he was a guide on the Snake River. And that just sounds like the most beautiful. That's like a trip I would love to do is like go down, really go down a river quite far. It would be really fun. I think it'd be nice. But no, but I will say, can we just not put out this episode because it just makes, I'm just losing everything. I'm just a loser. You're probably going to come back a third time. I mean, you might be your favorite guest. We were in Lake Tahoe last year and we went down this, what's called the Truckee River, which is not a whitewater river. It's quite, you float the river as they say, you know. Yeah. But there are slight parts. Anyway, I did have a thing where we were on the boat and I've never had anything like this happen to me. I had, I didn't have my life vest on and there was a bunch of kids and adults and we were heading towards a rock. And I went to sort of like push as we were approaching the rock, I was sort of trying to put out this the war to sort of deflect us off. And I just didn't realize how quickly we were heading towards the rock. And I hit, we hit the rock and I went flying off the back of the thing and I went like, I mean, really flying. And I didn't, it's not like a very fast river or anything, but where it was was a little crazy at that point. But so even that, I was getting tumbled around. My, apparently my son was, my wife had to grab my son. He was going to jump in after me, which is so sweet. And but they threw me a light, but I was getting tumbled around and there are, you know, there are so many rocks underneath. And I was, there was a moment where I was like, this is incredible, but also like, I'm really like, I am having a heart to, I am, they were yelling, you're gonna be okay. And I was like, I know it's not deep, but I am really struggling to say about the waters. What I was thinking is like, I, this is, I get, this is hard, you know, and did you have a moment where you're like, oh, please don't drown in shallow water? Well, I wasn't thinking about the shallow. I was just thinking, well, please don't let me drown in front of them. Yeah. Maybe, maybe let them get far enough ahead. Right. Yeah. I didn't think, yeah, I didn't think, I did say go ahead. I didn't think I was going to drown, but I did start to, it was colder than I expected. And I was like, I mean, it's so funny how quickly you are totally like a just panicking idiot. You know what I mean? Well, yeah. I mean, if you go ragdoll in a river, it wasn't, I was like hitting stuff. And I got back in the boat, you're like, are you okay? And I was like, yeah, it was fine. Did it look fun? Did it look cool? Yeah. Like, yeah, I mean, I was, I was definitely, I was scared as hell. Were you beat, were you bumped and bruised? Were you? Yes. Very, very bruised. Yeah. Very bruised. But hey, that's what happens on the Trucky River. And that's, that's just, you know, that's the risk you always take. You know that going in. You always know what's going in and you know what's going out. You just remember it during. And that's what happened. I mean, the greatest thing learned on that is that your brother, your son, excuse me, was going to jump in after you. Like that's an incredible, what an incredible thing to know. I know, but also heartbreaking because I feel like he shouldn't have to feel that he should, that's going back to the comp, incompetent. I mean, he should feel like look at my dad. Look at that. He's a hell of a swiver. He's got this. You don't worry. I'll give him five minutes. I'll be back in this thing. He used to go to a camp where they swam to a buoy and then your daughter's like, that was mom. He made a worm puppet. And he's like, I gotta get in there. Yeah, I gotta go. They were like, yeah, but it was, that was a scary moment, but I've always wanted to do the river rafting. I don't, yeah, I don't have a lot of family photos of, of anything really. My wife has a lot of them. It looks like such a great, you know, you see photos of people's lives on a wall and it really, you know, it's easy to think that they had this like perfect life because you're just seeing the kind of edited highlights and stuff. It's very interesting. Why do you think you guys weren't of photos on the wall kind of family? Do you think you were? I don't know. I don't think they're, I don't know. We were a family though that took a lot of home videos. Right. Well, that makes sense. More than, more like that. I mean, we have a lot of it. And it is, you know, so there was that, there was a sentimental or there was a need to, to film and stuff like that. But yeah, like a lot of my friends don't have family. We have so many videos. And one thing I did that I was really happy about was I went to my mom's house and I found tons of them. And she, she always has this like fear that I keep stealing stuff, which is true. Because I just had this fear that it will get lost in the house. I keep, but I took every video I could find and I sent it to an archivist, not an archivist, but that's right technically. But, and I had all of it copied and digitized from like every different medium. And I started to do it myself and it was too sad. I couldn't, I couldn't. I don't like, I can't even watch them. I can't watch a video from yesterday of my children. I will start crying. I don't know Yeah. Our father always said that he didn't want home movies because they would make him too sad. Yeah. Yeah. And we like, we don't really have any. I just for the first time, and I did it because Josh was getting married, but Josh, I had videos of my wedding and Josh gave the greatest best man speech of all time. And because in preparation for doing, by the way, I shouldn't watch it because it was likely it was unachievable, but like watching it was not like, I was like, this is just making me so, it's my favorite thing. Like watching it again is, I'm just like, couldn't like process the emotions I was having. It was too much. Whereas like my wife's family will watch the amount they're like, have you seen this video? I'm like a hundred times. You've shown me a hundred times. You've seen a video where I got a bike for Christmas? I'm like, yeah. Really? To the point that I think I got a bike for Christmas. Wait, wait, wait. How, when are you watching those videos when you go back? No, it's now that like they're all, you know, my wife sent me to do a great job of like digitizing everything and like the amount they like email old videos. They're sending them to you? They're just sending them. Oh my goodness. Or they're just like, sit down. Have you ever seen this one? I'm like, yeah, man. And by the way, they're great. I just, at some point you're like, I feel like I'm watching a, like a long documentary about unfamous people. Ken Burns does the ashes. Well, it's funny. That is one thing though that I will say I think about with iPhones now and people filming a lot of videos on their iPhones that they're, they film such shorter things. Yeah. You know, the intention is like just get the thing, hopefully get the moment. Whereas a lot of those videos, you know, they will go on for, Oh dude. Four hours. Like, it'll be just like, put that down. Put that down. All right, pick it up. There you go. Come at me now. What? We're all back. It's just like, it's just like, it's just all rolling though. So I think those are some of the best things in those videos, by the way, are those moments that are, you know, the, the, when they're just rolling and rolling and rolling. And unfortunately I feel like with the, yeah, now we have less of that kind of stuff, but I guess you, we're going to run out of time with you. So I do want to say, because I'm very excited about your show, Kevin Aubrey Plaza. This is the worst day of my life. We are. We have another guest. We have another guest. If you want to call Elizabeth Banks, Elizabeth Banks. Have you ever worked with Elizabeth Banks? Yes. We tell her and said, hi. I will. God. I mean, I feel like we have so much to talk about. Because I find you. Well, I mean, at this point, we're going to have you on again. I got to work with like Barenholtz for the first time really. Where? Last year, we did this movie called artificial. And I just like spent, and I know he's, I've known, you know, we know him. Simon Rich. That's a Simon Rich end. Yes. Yeah. But what a fuck this guy. Oh my gosh. In real life, when you spend that long working with him, I can't, I can't believe it. I can't fucking believe it. I don't believe it. He is the definition of mench, right? Like with the, when people like, what does that word mean? You're like, mench means like Barenholtz. That is, could not, this man, this, the kindness, the sweetness and the, the, the endless, he seems to be having so much fun. Yeah. And he, and he makes you, he's laughing, he's enjoying, he's eating, he's, it's so, it's thrilling to be around. And like, we were, we were working in Italy and I would walk with him. And I just felt like, I honestly was like drafting behind like a race car. Yeah. I was like, you know, I was just watching him like, this is incredible. This is, this is life. And he has, I think you've got to try this. It's the best thing you've ever had. And he's just, and it's, we always say like, you know, he exists in hyperbole, but without being inauthentic. Like he truly, when he says, this is the best ice cream you've ever had. If 10 minutes later is like, this is the best ice, it's not a contradiction. Like he's like, in this moment, there cannot be better ice cream than this ice cream. Absolutely. And he's inclusive of every, he, he's like, hey, we're going out to dinner. I've invited every single person we met today. And we're all going to this place. It's, you know, I just, I love them. And God bless them. I just, I wanted to just say that as I, he changed my life. He made me really see life through a different lens working with him. But yeah, my show, oh, the show. Yeah, Kevin, that's a fun, it's a, I love it. Well, I love it. But yeah, it's, it's on Amazon, it's on April 20th, but I did it with Aubrey Plaza and Joe Weingart. And we've been working this for a long time. I mean, this was the first thing this might have been like, early on in pandemic, they reached out, we started recording it, like in there, I believe. But it's so fun. I love it. I mean, they are, Aubrey is, you know, of course, very singular. And Joe, I don't know if you know Joe at all. I don't know Joe. No. Oh my gosh. So freaking funny. And Philadelphia, deep Philadelphia, you know, every time you go into the recording session, it's like, well, what new Mitchell and this Philly gear will I see this time? It's like, it's just like really cool stuff. But you know, I play it. Yeah, it's fun because I play a cat. They get it. These two guys get a divorce and I'm a cat that goes out of my own for the first time. And I love it. We love talking to you. We are going to book you again. What's Elizabeth Banks going to talk about? Yeah. What's she got coming up? She's got a miniature wife with Matthew McFadden and her on Peacock. She did that. She ended up doing that. Matthew ended up doing that. I was wondering who actually took it. Who was there? I actually got it. Today, today, as we're talking to you, the 40th anniversary of Rad is today. I cannot believe you just brought that up. Fuck yeah. And it's in theaters. And I thought, My brother just sent me a whole, yeah, my brother runs that whole, you know, he puts it out and everything. And my God bless my brother. It's, yeah, I thought there was a chance I was going to see you tonight at Universal. Maybe it's in the back of my mind. You know, I saw these Rad 40 t-shirts and I was like, I should get one of those. Yeah. My brother is like a whole different, I don't know who he is. He's incredible. He's like, yeah. If it's Matthew and Robert, one of those, then those two guys were hanging out and you had a lock on your door. So, yeah. You really did review the show. I did. But let's do it this morning. I would never, I mean, why you showed up being like, I went to theater camp. I know we didn't get to it last time. We didn't talk about it, but theater camp. Do you know what the, no, no, I just had more details about stuff. But guys, I don't, Next time, bring the worm. You gotta bring the worm. Oh, I know what I'm going to tell you guys. I'll tell you next time. All right. Should we skip, should we skip the speed round? We're going to skip the speed round. Can I just say your show, thank you for what you, your show is the one, it just brings me so much pleasure at the end of the day. I count on it so deeply. Oh, thank you. Well, we hope we see you in person. I appreciate it. It's the year the best. And I love, love to everyone. All right. Love to you, buddy. And love to rock and roll. Rock and roll. Bye now. Does not the guy to swim back first from the And his rockets didn't fly so high. It is camp for rocketry. Oh, gee. Very supportive. What do you find fun? No competition. What is relaxing? A water tunnel underground. What are you trying to build? Don't ask. Hey, kid, you wanna get in on this? Do you think that it's gonna work? I don't think it's gonna work. There were two pools there to connect and maybe someone should have checked one was up and one down. But there was no flow through the tunnel underground. He's no Archimedes, no. Fina didn't work. Don't be a jerk. He still had fun. Oh, weird missions. What he craved. He'll fade it pipeline underground. wasn't sound but nobody drown there. Water tunnel built underground. A river floating truck. He pushed off of a rock with his or probably got launched into the water. Should be no trouble because it wasn't deep. But as it turned out, he got bounced around. Hit rocks, fish, bob, yeah. Stop. Yeah. Over board. Over board. Oh, yes, he's not savvy with it. Oh, let's not ignore that his son thought to save him when Jason was propelled over more. Daddy. When he was away, he was in the ground. He wasn't even around. He decided to go overcome trees. He was working out of town.