127: I WATCHED HEATED RIVALRY

Direct from the Broski Nation headquarters in Los Angeles, California. This is the Broski Report with your host, Brittany Broski. And it's a big guy meal, sponge my pants okay. and it's a big eye meal. SpongeBob pants, okay. Big eye meal. Big eye meal. Hello, hello, hello. Guys, welcome back to the podcast. and that just made me dizzy. I have many, many, many, many things to talk to you guys about today, okay? So I'll wake up on it and I'll sit on the side and I'll take a deep bite of my big guy meal and say, at the top of my lungs, sponge my pants are okay. And I said, big guy. I watched Shaded Rivalry. Okay, hold on, hold on, hold on. Let's not get ahead of ourselves. Okay, let me get a fucking grip. Before we get into this episode, I need everyone to listen up and pause the video really quick. I uploaded on the main channel. We're back on the Brittany Broski channel. So go, pause this, go watch that, leave a comment, come back, I'll wait. Unpause. Welcome back. Thoughts? Hope you enjoyed. It was a little speed running of some trends that I missed and some new trends. Okay, so we're so back. Stanley. Stanley, we're so back. He makes fun of me. It's hilarious. It's hilarious how he makes fun of me. No one does it better than Stanley, quite frankly. So, yeah, we're so fucking back, actually. So, come on and let's get those subs up. Guys, if you're not subscribed to this channel or Royal Court, please, what are we doing? Come on, I've been doing this for like 130 years at this point. I am life eternal. I am immortal, okay? I'll be here forever, but I need, you guys sustain me, my life source, you know, similar to the Fountain of Youth is kind of like a YouTube subscription. So you don't have to, but it's nice if you want to subscribe, but you absolutely don't have to, I understand. Okay. That's out of the way. Okay. When does this come out? This comes out February 1, 2, 3, February 3rd. I need you guys to like, there is something coming on royal court that you have genuinely no fucking clue. Like none of you would ever guess what it's about to be at the end of February. so just keep that in mind and talk to me very nicely because something is about to hit Broski Nation HQ I wish I could say more I can't just be very very on edge I need everyone to be very anxious be very on edge okay for the next give or take two or three weeks I need everyone riddled with anxiety can you guys do that for me can you do that for me thanks okay go watch the video on the main channel. That's pretty much it. Let's get into it. I watched it. I watched Cheated Rivalry. And I have a lot to say on that front. Obviously, it's gut-wrenching in the best way, okay? It took me a while to watch it because I think when there's an initial reaction to something like that, anything like that. That's like, oh my God, you have to watch. Odds are I'm not watching that shit. Also, my tastes are very like, if I'm in a Gothic mood right now, pretty much that's all I'm watching. You know what I mean? Last night I watched The Witch by Robert Eggerts. Hey, I'll talk about that in a second. Okay. Wow. We'll talk about that in a second. He did Rivalry. I was like, you know what? I'm taking a break this week. I have not taken a week off since probably August of 2024. So I took, I'm on a hiatus right now. This is the one thing that I'm doing this week. And I was like, you know what? Let me go ahead and sit down and watch this gay show. I'll watch the gay show. I love the gays. I might as well sit down and see what they're doing. Gut-wrenching, obviously. But like, so everyone was right. Like it is such a good story and it's so deeply romantic. And can I say something that half you bitches are going to be mad at me and half the other of you bitches are going to agree, okay? In the crowd of you bitches, half are split, okay? This story and the reason why it works is because it's a grumpy ex-Sunshine trope from fucking Wattpad. Are you mad at me? Is it not? For all of my fan fiction girls, This is a grumpy ex-Sunshine trope, meaning one of the characters is, you know, grumpy, like hardened to the world, cynical, everything's a joke. The other one, deeply earnest, okay? Lightness. Everything is very positive and like feels things very deeply, is very joyous, okay? And not to bring it back to Lore Olympus, but similar to Lore Olympus, okay? Grumpy ex-Sunshine. I read so many One Direction fan fictions that were grumpy ex-Sunshine, okay? This is literally that. Not to mention Mandalorian fan fiction. We won't even get there, okay? And I still got my little Mandalorian bobblehead Funko Pop back there. He's always with us. And Kylo Ren. That's to commemorate when I was so horny for those Star Wars characters. I just can't, I genuinely can't talk about it anymore, okay? But that's there as an eternal reminder. Heated rivalry is literally grumpy ex-sunshine. Who's my bias? Who's my bias? Can anyone fucking guess? Yeah, you guessed it. It's Conor Story. Can anyone? Yeah, it's actually Ilya. Holy shit. Yeah, that's actually my bias. That's my bias. I'm going to get one of those little K-pop playing card things with all the like, it's got Miffy on it and it's just him. Like it's literally actually going to be Conor Story. Yeah, that's my bias. Oh my God. Hi. That's my bias. I'm front row at the Hudson Williams Conor Story Mean Green. That's literally me. I feel like Okay Many things stand out to me Number one Let's just talk about it, okay? Number one When bro gets in the elevator When Shane gets in the elevator After that like Kind of distant hookup All right? They hooked up And he goes to text We didn't even kiss Oh My god Oh When he's in the elevator And he's like Trying to text him Because he wants to talk to him So desperately And like, it was, yes, it was sex, but it wasn't like fulfilling and connective in the way that their sex usually is. And he's got his head against the elevator door and he's like, we didn't even kiss. Backspace, backspace. I literally said, oh my God. That was the first one where I was like, fuck this dumb ass, stupid show. The second one was, fuck, it was just on the tip of my tongue. The phone call in Russian. that bitch if this was a motherfucking fan fiction you remember on Wattpad when a section like that would happen I'm literally like my voice is going out I'm so excited and like there would be the old Wattpad I don't know what it looks like today at the end of like a gag paragraph or a gag chapter, you could leave comments and it would literally say like 4,000 comments. But a bitch on the original after at the part, and if you've read after, you know, the part, when that's all revealed, that thing had like 45,000 comments. And it was so fun to scroll through and be like, like, like, like, like, because it was the equivalent kind of to like TikTok comments today where they were so funny and they were so topical and so like, like valid reactions, relatable reactions. I genuinely, during that conversation where they're on the phone and he's saying how he really feels in Russian, I was like, what I would give to me watching Heated Rivalry seeking community, like what I would give to read the comment section under this as a fanfiction, like what the girls are saying. Oh my God. It was just, and Shane, it doesn't even matter. Like it didn't matter what Ilia was saying. It was just listening to his voice and like the emotion in his voice. And when he says, I love you, Russian bitch, I almost fell out. I almost fell out. Damn. Okay. And here's my, here's my hot take. Okay. Sure. Shane Hollander, Ilya Romanov. Yay. Don't give a fuck. Scott Hunter. Scott Hunter. That shit. That whole, like, was it episode three, episode four, where it's all about their story. I genuinely was like, I'd watch a spinoff show of just them. Literally just them. Fuck the other two. I like them. Oh my God. And when he kissed them, I like them. Wow. And you know what? So like never thought about it in this context because for me, I guess as an American, where Americans, even though we're in the most, one of the most regressive stages of like, public displays of self-expression, I guess. Like it's never in recent years been more censored or policed than it is now in recent years. It's like we made such historic landmark changes when it comes to DEI or with the legalization of gay marriage, like all of these things that felt so irreversible. And now here we are with Roe v. Wade overturned, with like the fucking Gestapo knocking on the doors of American families. It's just like, we are in such a regressive state that it's scary to think about this in that context. But I kind of mean before that, like, well, 2016, Trump was elected. I mean, like, and when this story is set, 2016, 2017, the idea of a gay hockey player, like kissing his partner on national television, it shouldn't be that gag. Like that in my, maybe this is my naivete speaking, but that's not that gag. It's like, yeah, love. How is that any different than kissing your wife or your girlfriend or what? It's just like, what a historic moment. You want to celebrate that with the love of your life, bitch. I understand, obviously, that it'll never be that normalized. And it's so crazy to be reminded of that. obviously like that's so many people's lived experiences every day of that genuine fear of being able to live out loud. And you would think in a country like America that in theory, really one of the pillars of this nation is freedom and the freedom of speech and the freedom to live out loud. And it's just not, it is just not. And it is horrific to be reminded of that. And of course, it's not as regressive as some other countries. But even then, it's like, oh, my God, you would think that as a human race, we're over it. I'm over having to argue that gay rights are human rights, that trans rights are human rights. I'm so sick of this being a talking point when it's just common sense. So watching a show like this, it is kind of like, oh, yeah, you know, we are Neanderthals in the grand scheme of things. How this is so off-putting and like really hard for some people to grasp. And I know it's a TV show, but of course it's a TV show modeled off of real life and real politics and whatever. So that was just, you know, something that is this really important undertone of the whole show of here are two young gay men afraid of the repercussions of living out loud. And I think that's also why this show is so red hot right now is because it's like for so many people, it's seeing love on an equal footing, you know, where it's not a man and a woman having a weird power imbalance or having a toxic relationship. I mean, Illya and Shane's relationship is toxic in a different way, almost, in like a separated by distance or maybe they push each other away. But eventually, obviously, it doesn't matter. It just, you know, I understand why people are so addicted to this show. I enjoyed it. Obviously, it made me sob at certain parts. And I need a spinoff of Scott Hunter. I need one. Okay, that's my heated rivalry review. I give it nine out of 10 stars. Very excited for season two. The ending of the last episode. Yeah, I was sobbing my little fucking eyes out. Okay. And every edit I get of Connor's story, I throw it a like. Okay. And they're both so fucking charming on these carpets and whatever. They're just normal. They're just normal people. And I will say the acting in this show kind of blew me away. I was expecting like, oh, you know what? Like, I know people like the two main guys, but, like, what about the rest of the... Great. Fantastic. I enjoy... Never once was I pulled out of it. You know, like, I was very locked in. I think that the pacing was great. I think that the editing was great. Like, what a hidden treasure chest is HBO sitting on with this show. So, can't wait for season two. Sorry it took me so long to watch it. Hudson and Connor, if you would like to come on Royal Court, you just let me know. Okay? I know we're kind of working on it, but I would love to talk to you. I'd love to speak with you, young gentleman, about some things. So, okay. Another thing I watched. Another thing I watched. Dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun. Yeah. Brr, brr, brr, brr, brr, brr, brr, night of seven kingdoms, seven kingdoms. What the fuck? Oh, I'm Sir Duncan the Toll. Okay. You're out of your fucking mind if you think me and Drew aren't going as Dunkin' Egg for Halloween. You're out of your gob if you think I'm not throwing that bald cap on my big ass head and wearing a cloak and going as Egg from Night of the Seven Kingdoms. There is nothing to me more gender affirming. I have never experienced gender euphoria quite like when I put on a bald cap. I texted Drew immediately. Hey, I love this fucking show. So does she. One thing about Drew, that bitch is a nerd. She's a nerd. She's a nerd. And I know she fools you guys because she's so stunning and slay and outspoken and normal. She's not normal. Don't fall for it. That bitch is a nerd. That's why we're best friends. Obviously we were texting about it because it's so good. And like having George R.R. Martin at the helm, like steering this ship, so to speak, it really shows. And it's like, wow, to see the Game of Thrones universe and like Westeros and everything through the lens of a non-noble, I really enjoy. Like all the set design and the set dressings and the costumes and the, you know, like you're seeing Baratheons and you're seeing Lannisters and Targaryens, but it's in such a, I guess, more rural lens. You know, you're not at their family castles or the strongholds or whatever. Like you're seeing them out in these fields at the night, whatever, like jousting. It's so fun. And I really enjoy Egg's character. I think that whoever, the little kid actor who plays him fantastic I think he amazing Also shout out Peter Sir Duncan the Tall and guess what Having an Irishman at the helm of the fucking Gettle Don Show Up the parish, up the parish, up the parish. We're so up. Ireland, stand up. I'm not Irish. Ireland, get the fuck. I love this damn show. And while I was a bit shocked at, there was some full frontal dong. In episode two, there was kind of a 11-inch dong that was on the screen that I did have some follow-up questions on. Ultimately, it doesn't really matter. And him full-blown shitting, having diarrhea in the first episode. Okay. Okay. No. Yes. Yes. Sure. You know, he was like, I'm the lead in Game of Thrones TV show. We're going to have you shit and blow mud. First episode. First five minutes of the show. Yeah. So is that all right with you? um so can we talk about the shitting part yeah no I'm very excited thank you for having me I'm obviously so excited to kind of go on this Game of Thrones journey no can we go back to the sort of scene where I'm shitting where I'm blowing shit out of my ass in the first five minutes of the show yeah um I'm really enjoying it I love this damn show I think they could keep it going for however long they want. I mean, it's such a, so much creatively to play with. I haven't read the book that it's based, the little novella that it's based on. I mean, I still need to get through the original Game of Thrones books. And then, yeah, of course I'm, like House of the Dragons season three. Yeah, I'm ready. I'm completely ready. I've heard it's so heavy. I've heard that it's very battle heavy. So we're really kind of getting into it. The dance, the daunts of the dragons, begins. Yes, the dance of the dragons. Targaryen versus Targaryen. But who will come out on top? Time will tell. What's Varys' speech? It's a funny thing. Varys, Lord Varys' speech. Power is a funny thing. Hold on, where is it? Power resides where men believe it resides. It's a trick, a shadow on the wall, and a very small man can cast a very large shadow. Amazing. Okay, I'm really, really, really loving Night of the Seven Kingdoms. I'm tuned to every single, I'm there every week. Okay, now that that's all out of the way, oh, let me talk about The Witch really quick. I'm trying to power through all the Robert Eggers movies because I'm so excited for Werewolf. and obviously Love Knows for A2, but that's kind of like the tip of the Eggers iceberg because Stanley's my film bro friend who's like, you'd love this, you'd love that. So need to watch The Lighthouse, need to watch The Northman. I watched The Witch. Who is that guy? He's in every single Eggers movie. I don't know if you pronounce his name Rafe or Ralph. Rafe Innocent, Ralph Innocent. He's an incredible actor. I love him. Every time he pops up, I'm like, oh, it's bro. It's literally bro. This movie scared the living shit out of me. I watched it alone. Thank God I wasn't high when I watched it. I thought it was going to be like, you know how Crimson Peak by Guillermo del Toro is very like, oh, it's kind of spooky, but it's not a scary movie. I mean, there's definitely like jump scares in it, but it's not a scary movie. It's kind of a love story, if anything. this was a scary fucking movie and I watched it alone at night with the windows open bitch this is very I will say he nails the imagery and the the tropes and the themes of like witchcraft and all this without making it cheesy without making it corny I enjoyed it I think that I gave it I think I give it a three and a half four it's somewhere between there for me on Letterboxd where I enjoyed the pacing. I enjoyed the casting. Fantastic acting. Fantastic acting in this movie. I think the end was a bit like, okay. Okay. I liked that they never showed the witch's face. I like that because I think that would have given, you know, there's something, what's that Lovecraftian shit of like, the scariest thing imaginable as that, which we cannot imagine. Like, if you show me the monster, it's almost less terrifying than if I don't know what the monster looks like, but I know it's there. So that was kind of this, it's funny how Eggers does that. Like, you don't see Nosferatu's face for a pretty long time in Nosferatu. In The Witch, you never see, you know, the witch's face. it's kind of implied that it's Thomasin or that maybe that's foreshadowing for what her ending will be. I think that what I find endearing about Guillermo del Toro's monsters is he does give it a face. And there's a whole different takeaway to be gathered from that of like, you put a face and a name on the monster and it makes it less scary. And I think that's kind of the point. It's the goal, right, is to humanize or to give a soul to this thing that's supposed to be utterly terrifying. And it endears you to it. You know, this concept of what he always talks about of there's monsters within all of us. Anything can be made to be a monster with the right propaganda, with the right, you know, positioning. So, yeah, two very different directorial takes on what to be scared of and why. And I just am loving it. So that movie scared the fuck out of me. And I'm afraid of goats, naturally. And other than that, I liked this. At first, I was like, I really don't like this era. The Puritan, you know, New England, like witch hunt, middle of the Salem Witch Trials type shit. I really don't gravitate towards that. I'm much more gravitate towards Victorian stuff, but about halfway through the movie, I was like, you know what? You know what? Hell yeah. Hell yeah. We're so fucking back. So yeah, I enjoyed it. Next, I'm going to watch The Northman. Then I'm going to watch The Lighthouse. What's The Northman about? Yes. Okay. It's Viking. Oh, and it's on Netflix, period. Damn, this has great reviews. Okay. I'll watch The Northman probably tonight. This episode is sponsored by Shopify. You know, when I first started this podcast, it seemed like I had a lot to figure out all on my own. Scripts, setup, filming schedule, logos, design. It was super overwhelming and every day seemed to introduce a new decision that needed an answer. 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I don't. I'm not joking about my fidgets. What I've been really into lately, which I don't know if Neato makes these. I think they're more into the squishables. I think they're more into the squishable region of a fidget toy. I've been into those little magnet sliders. I like them. Okay. And yes, I got them off TikTok shop. Fine. Fine. I got it off TikTok shop. Are you going to beat me upside the head? Okay. Let's get into it. This is a needle gumdrop. Now, you know who has one of these and let me play with it. Drew. Drew has a gumdrop. And one of the last times I was at her house, I was like, can I play with your gumdrop? She was like, yes. She has an orange one though. This one's blue. This one's good. Yeah. There's some shit on it because I did, I opened this one because I was excited about it. And then I was like, enough, I have to do it on the podcast. So I've genuinely been saving this for the pod to share with you guys. So this is my gumdrop. This is kind of what it's looking like. It does have this texture on the outside, like a gumdrop. This is just a solid classic one. I'll rate this a, this is a seven. This is a absolute classic seven. I think I prefer this to the Neato Cube, the Ice Cube. just because this fits my hand a bit better, okay? This is a 7 out of 10. I'll put her right there. Okay, let's get into big fucking Bertha. This huge-ass one, this is a, like, this going in my travel carry-on. Like, who is pulling this out at the function? This is a super neato ripple. Super neato ripple. And by the way, it couldn't be bigger. Whoa, ew, ew, ew. Okay, this, this is kind of making me tingle bad. This is making me tingle real bad. What the fuck is in it? Ew, there's something floating in it. Does it light up? What the hell? Ew, it's like leaking. Why is it wet? Maybe that's just my hand sweat. No, it's definitely wet. Oh, I don't, I don't Okay, well, maybe I do like this. This I give just because maybe it's leaking. It does kind of stress me out. But I give this one, this will be a 6.5. Okay, sure. If you need something to really grip on, here's my thing. These are two, I have nails and I really like, I like to go in on my stem toys. They need to have some resistance to them because I'm really giving these handies. Okay, I am giving these hand drops like you just could not believe. This is a 6.5. This is definitely for a different clientele than me. Okay? So we're going to put her right there. Next. This one's bad. This one's bad. And I don't mean that in like, oh, she's bad. This one is horrific. And some of you guys like this. I've seen some. This is the Neato Snowball. This is the Neato Snowball. The super chill, cool crunch, groovy glob. This texture I genuinely like don't even want to I don't want to it makes me cringe I like the feeling on the outs. I don't want to crunch it. I like the feeling on the outside, but listen It's like ew That's the only one you get that literally it's like cornstarch on the inside that feeling of cornstarch I just, I actually can't do it. And I know it's supposed to feel like snow and it does. If you're into that, if you're maybe from the East Coast, you grew up with snow, you love making a snowball, but you wish you had the comfort of that in your house, boom, get the snowball. Get the, what's this bullshit called? Get the snowball neato crunch. I can't do it. I wish you the best in your life. Get that bullshit away from me. It makes me tingle bad, tingle negative. Okay, obviously next we're actually going to go for the Neato Splute Splat Okay, clearly next we're actually going to grab the Splute Splat So let's kind of unbox her This is giving me very Nickelodeon vibes Here is the Splute Splat If you guys can see that Okay, this one's good Squish, stretch, and splat Okay, it doesn't really splat that well, but I guess you can pull it. I'm going to destroy this in a matter of moments. I mean, truly, like you can only squeeze it so far. For a rough-handed, I'm kind of like Lenny of Mice and Men. Like if this were an animal, it would be dead because I really like to sploot and splat in my free time. So this is like, can I be rough with it? Can I be rough with it? Because sometimes I get real stressed out and I want to be able to sploot and splat everywhere without it kind of dying in my hand, dying by my hand. I'm like a dog that goes in and removes the squeaker from the toy and kills it and then never touches it again. That's what my family dog does. That's what Missy Doe does. We give him a toy and he's like, he's addicted to it for 30 minutes and he rips the squeaker out and he never touches the toy again. So that's kind of, this is a five. This is not Yeah, this is a five For me Also, I've been playing with it for two seconds And it's dirty So, five Right now, the gumdrop's kind of taking it Kep Next Ooh, this is neato Good vibes only Every day is a good day for that squishy neato sensation Let the good vibes flow I know that's right, neato And it says, peace It says, peace this Ringo, they got the Ringo Starr fidget. By the way, those pictures of Barry Keohan, because I figured out in Irish, it's not Keoghan. It's Keohan. Irish people in the comments, please let me know. Barry Keohan. Okay, this one's great. This one's a bit too hard, right? Look, I hate to be this kind of hard on Nito, but you've got this many options. I feel like I get to be a little critical. I get to be a little critical. This one's good. I'll definitely, you know, you can kind of flatten this one out into a bowl. This one, it's got good resistance. It's just a bit too hard. And let me go ahead and compare with the, yeah, I prefer the gumdrop. They're very similar. The gumdrops just has a bit of texture, which I like. Cause the issue with this is, I mean, my greasy ass, big guy, big guy, big guy, big guy, big guy, Spongebob big guy neato hands, they're going to get dirty ultimately. But I like this one. I give this one a seven. This is a seven. Okay. Moving on. This is the neato cool cats. Oh my God, it's a cat. Oh my God, it is a little kitten cat. Pet me, pinch me, squeeze me, squish me, touch me. It sounds like a Sabrina Carpenter song. Okay. Sorry. This, this does have a soft texture. Okay. I do, I do enjoy petting it. It does have a cute little cat face. Can you see the cat face? This one you got to be gentle with. You know what? For a soft knee. For a soft neato, I don't mind this. I do like this. I'll give this one a seven as well. This one's good. Yeah, I give this one a seven. I'll put her, them. The cat has no gender. Oh my God I put the cat on the okay Next up neato fuzzball Neato fuzzball I know some of you weirdos have been wondering about this The Velvet Squeeze The Velvet Squeeze Let's see what's going on here. Ooh! Ooh! Yeah! Yes! See, this isn't going to pop. I say that as it almost pops. I like the texture. It's got enough resistance. This is an eight. This is an eight for me. I don't know why I smelled it. Sometimes I think, sometimes I wish that they were scented. I do wish they were scented like their color. Like this should be grape scented. This should be like strawberry scented. This should be thrown away. Oh, I touched it again. I'm not joking. It's since I chilled out my fucking spine. It's just a child on my spine. I hate it. I hate it. Okay. This is an eight. I do like the velvet, the velvety kind of, you know, this reminds me of like a toy you would get at Chuck E. Cheese for like one billion tickets and all you get is that. Neato nice cube swirl. Now I already have a nice cube. I have two actually. I have a mini one and I have a normal size one. But this looks like just a squirrel. A swirl. Like hello, open. Okay, let's see it. Nice cube swirl. Ooh, why is it sticky? Why is there shit in it? This is very beautiful, okay? This is very beautiful It's stickier than my other one And honestly, it's a little softer I might give this one away. We know that the nice cube is a classic like it always returns to its shape I like that. It's a bit see-through. I like that. It's a bit psychedelic. I might be giving this one to tato Okay, tato expect this in the mail and if there's shit on it, that's my fault. You know, I'll kind of own that. That's my fault, but just give it a little rinse. I get this. This is a classic. This is a seven. Okay. Now, the fuck bullshit is this? The groovy glob. Is this kind of similar to the cat? I'm assuming the groovy glob. Neato. Let's see. Says the same. Touch me, pinch me, lick me, fuck me, squeeze me, squish me. Ugh. I'm sorry. Yeah, this is just like my cat, but I'm keeping my cat. It's better than this. I mean, they're kind of, you know, this one is amorphous. This one is a beautiful little cat. So I'm keeping the cat. This one, I'll give this one away as well. This is, what did I give the cat. This is a seven as well. Get back in your dumb ass box. Okay. Now these, these I'm excited about. This neato donut holes. Bruh. Are you, are you freaking serious, bro? Six squishy, squeezy donut holes. Neato donut holes. The dolectable, non-edible, teeny weeny, squishable donut. And it's a six pack in case you eat the other five. You can still have one left. Okay. No, I'm going to be really honest with you guys. I did remove a purple one and I've kind of been, I've been playing with it. I've been playing with it in the comfort of my home. So this is all movie magic. Okay. I did test drive one or two of these and I did. Oh, oh, oh, ew. Okay. These are the, these are the squirters. These are the farters. I like this one. It's got little sprinkles on it, if you can see that. This one's like a more powdered donut thing. One like intense squeeze of this, if I went Lenny from Of Mice and Men on this, it's popping. And I don't like that. And I will say, I've been playing with these. I've been playing with these kind of crazy and they get really sticky. And again, I don't know if that's user error. I don't know if that's just maybe I'm sticky and I'm touching them and they're getting sticky or if it's, you know, yeah, that's gross. You know what I mean? I might give these away as well. These are, these are not durable. These are not durable enough for bosky hands. Bosky hands need something with a bit more resistance, but I do like the concept of the donut, of the donut hole. So if you guys can make something that's a bit more resistant, I'm rocking with it. Those are the donut holes. Okay. What are the winners? The winner is, is going to be the neato gumdrop, I believe. I also just like food-themed ones. This one is great. The velvety groovy ball. The groovy ball. Fuck the snowball one. I'm so dead ass. Fuck that one. It made me tingle bad. I like the kitty. Meow. I like the kitty. And then I like this one. This one's good. This one you can also use as a paperweight. The peace piece. All right. Thank you guys for tuning into that. This big ass one. Me in a serious business meeting. Okay. So, Q1 report. Talk to me. My feet are up on the table. See, what the fuck is that? What's in that? I've seen people cut these open and it worries me. Because it's going to come open one day when I don't want it to. Okay. That's my Nito review. Thank you, Nito, for sending me those. That was an honest, from the soul, truthful unboxing. and review. So yeah, I really appreciate you guys. And please make some magnet sliders. I would encourage Nito to move into something that's a bit more hard plastic, even though I know you're supposed to need it. That's kind of the whole idea. So actually, maybe don't listen to me because you guys know your brand better than I do. Now, I didn't prepare accurately for this next segment, but I did want to kind of tell y'all, and there's going to be no visual aid. So kind of imagine it with your own two eyes and one brain. Imagine it with your two eyes, one brain, one mouth, one tongue. I'm addicted to what's in my travel bag videos. I'm addicted to them, okay? For people flying in economy, for people flying in business, whatever. I like to watch what's in my travel bag because for each person, I glean something different, okay? I steal something different from each person. And it's also tea to see how, what each person needs when they travel or what they deem the most important thing is. And I would much rather overpack, overprepare than travel, especially a long haul flight because I'm back and forth to Europe all the time. And from LA too, like even from LA to New York, that's a five and a half hour flight. So it's a long haul flight. Here, here is what's in my travel bag. Okay. I always travel with a pillow of some kind. My dad got me a cool one a few years ago for Christmas. It's by Samsonite. And it's one that, it's just a traditional neck pillow. It's not one of those fancy ones where you wrap it around and it's hard and you can like lean your whatever. I feel like I'm fucking choking in those. Okay. If you like that, do it. They also sell these ones that you strap to the head rest and it like goes around your forehead and it keeps your fucking head in place. But then I'm thinking my neck's gonna slide back like this and I'm gonna be, my jaw is protruding and also my neck is gonna be like this the whole flight. Like, yes, it keeps your head up, but it doesn't keep your head erect. You know what I mean? Like, I'm gonna wake up with neck pain either way. And I don't want to feel like I'm being choked. So I have one that's, it's just the traditional neck pillow with the beads in it, but it's reversible. So there's a little zipper on the outside and you can stuff the head, the neck pillow inside and it's a little square pillow. So if you want to do it against the like window, like the side of the plane, or, you know, if you want to shift in your seat like this and then lean your head against the, the, can I talk? Oh my God. Lean your head against the backs of the fucking address like this. Fuck. Speak English. Big guy, big guy Spongebob. Okay. So I like that. I've been traveling with that for years and I just kind of, you know, attach it to the outside of my carry-on. Now let's talk carry-ons because I'm very passionate about this. I've tried a few different carry-ons. This is controversial to say because like transparently, I know that they've thrown a lot of money into marketing. And I will say, This is the only item I've tried from them. I know that their luggage is a bit different. The base weekender bag. Girl, I'm going to be completely honest with you. That shit sucks. I tried, okay? I tried. Because in theory, it looks like it works. It's got a whole compartment under it that's a zipper for, you can put shoes, you can put, you know, a laptop, whatever. The closure of the top of the bag is like one of those old doctor's bags. you know where they market it as oh you can fit all the shit in it but in order to close the bag the like wire hard wire on the top needs to be able to come together so you can zip it and you so you can't fit that much shit in it open you can fit way more in it but it's just not practical the handles are hard to grab it's got a a long one a long strap that you can you know like a shoulder strap. It's not comfortable. You can't really fit a laptop in it. At least the one I got, you can fit an iPad, but not like my MacBook. And it was just, I tried. Okay. I also got a white one. Don't do that. That shit is yellow now. I just was like, this bag is lacking in a lot of ways. Sure. Aesthetically it's, it's cute. I know it comes in different colors. I think their actual luggage is better, but this weekend or girl don't waste your money. It's also expensive. a brand that I, this is my opinion. I'm not sponsored. Okay. This is just genuinely what I use. I wanted for my carry on like a ballet bag. Okay. I wanted something that looked like the Rapeto pink dance bag and they don't sell them anymore or they sell the one that I want, but it's only available in Navy and it's too small for like the shit that big mama carries with her. And so I was looking at alternatives and there are all these like Amazon brands that I didn't want to do. And then there were some TikTok shop brands where they're like, this is the best. I actually ended up buying a CalPack one and CalPack is, you know, a good travel brand. I know a lot of hikers use CalPack. What's the other one that's made? I got a backpack, like a carry-on backpack that I traveled around Europe with. It's got the llama as the logo. Come on. They use like scraps from other bags to make them. And it's got a llama as the whatever. You guys know what I'm talking about. That's also a good brand. But this was something I was looking. I had a very specific thing in mind where I was like, I want a bag with a bunch of compartments that's cute, simple, and has shoulder straps. Like you can use the two straps on your shoulder or it comes with a long one that you can do over your shoulder. CalPak. And it comes in that pretty pink ballet color that I wanted. I got it. Bitch, it's awesome. I started with the small one and then I quickly realized this isn't big enough for like the flights that I'm taking and all the bullshit that I need to carry with me. So I got the bigger one. It's been great. I've been using it for like four months. It does get a little dirty naturally just because I got a light color and I'm using it, you know, on the dirty floors of airplanes, but it's great. It fits my laptop or iPad. It's got a little compartment on the side. If you want to bring shoes, I don't bring shoes in my carry-on. Like, that's just not, and I'm not packing this as like a weekender bag. I'm using it as my flight carry-on. Okay. So that's the bag. In it, I always, always bring my candy bag. Okay. Now, My candy bag is actually going to be my medicine bag. I am a very sickly or hypochondriac-esque person. If I'm in a foreign country, if I'm in a different state and they don't have things that I'm used to or my creature comforts, I freak out. So in my little candy bag, which is just a, I think I use a old makeup bag. I use, or in that I have extra tampons, pads, panty liners, flossers, hydrocortisone, because sometimes I get itchy. I have some leftover prescription meds for a UTI. I have Zofran for if I get nauseous. I have my gabapentin for if I get anxious. I have, from all my gallbladder shit, my stomach used to cramp really bad. And I got prescribed Robaxin, which is like a muscle relaxant. And so it's because sometimes I get these like, is that what it's called? Phantom cramps. And if it's really bad, then I'll take that. I keep allergy meds. Oh my God, I keep allergy meds because when I've been in Europe or whatever, finding an antihistamine they just don't, they don't got it. Like we got it over here. Melatonin. They don't got it. Like we got it over here. Um, Tylenol, ibuprofen always have that shit on me. I just have all of that in the bag because you never know. I also keep DayQuil with me just because it's my intention of if you start to feel sick. Oh, and I keep electrolytes on me too. If you start to feel sick, you at least have something to help in that moment. You know, of course you'll come home and like treat it properly, but just immediate relief is what I'm looking for, especially when I'm traveling. So that's my candy bag. I keep a separate bag that's a snack bag. Because on these flights, sometimes like I travel for a living. I'm always on the road. You land at an airport at 11 PM in a small ass town. Mama, they're not doing DoorDash. Their hotel's not doing room service. You're not, you're doing McDonald's or you're doing Wendy's. You know what I mean? And it's like, that's why I feel like shit when I travel. Sometimes it's just not a satiating meal. I feel bad about that choice, but sometimes it's like, girl. So I travel with snacks, protein bars. I travel with those that's it bars. That's just fruit. Cause you, it's good to pair like carbs or fiber with a protein snack. It'll, you're, you're more filled. It's more filling. But it's hard to find protein bars that aren't filled with bullshit, that aren't packed with bullshit. Yeah, so that's in my snack bag. Then I carry books. I carry multiple books, okay? In my carry-on, I usually keep one book that I'm reading, one from a different genre, and I keep one, sometimes that's like an easy read, kind of like a romanticy. So recently I traveled with, I'm reading Turn of the Screw by Henry James right now. I traveled with The Monk, which I'm about to start. Very excited for that, bitch. That's a gothic horror, a gothic horror romance, I think. Very excited. And then I traveled with, I think, De Profundis by Oscar Wilde, because I wanted something to kind of break up the heaviness of gothic whatever. And then Heavenly Bodies. I've been trying to read that for forever. Heavenly Bodies was really highly recommended on BookTok. Also, bitch, I'm back on BookTok. I'm saving all these recommended books. Here are some ones I saved recently. Oh, this was Guillermo del Toro's Book Wrecks. Jane Eyre, Charlotte Bronte. Oh my God, by the way, next episode, I have to do a whole tell-all on the Bronte sisters. I watched this crazy documentary that's on YouTube and I'm like so addicted. The Woman in White, Wilkie Collins, Picture of Dorian Gray, Oscar Wilde. Obviously, Bleak House by Charles Dickens. Heavenly Bodies, but this is Cult Treasures and Spectacular Saints from the Catacombs. It is not the romance that I'm talking about. The Vampire. is Kith and Kin by Montague Summers. For horror, The Damned Thing by Ambrose Bierce and The Vampire Tapestry. And then fantasy sci-fi, The Neverending Story, The Chrysalids by John Wyndham, and The Book of Three So those are recent saves I also saved The Small Room by Mae Sarton Those are kind of my I'm always adding to my TBR on Goodreads, but those are in the rotation. I also want to start Catabasis by R.F. Quang and The Poppy War. And Beloved by Tony Morrison. There's so many books I want to get. Anyway, I always travel with books, physical, but I really should start traveling with my Kindle again. I just prefer the feeling of an in-person book. In that vein, I always travel with Sharpies, highlighters, and pens, and pencils, and Chapstick. And I keep all those in my little side pocket. In my front pocket, I keep stim toys, Clorox wipes, very important. eye mask hand sanitizer and my passport I usually keep my passport just in the front pocket of there just because it's easy access in my bag I keep uh next to my iPad I have converter because I'm always you know traveling from to different countries I found this one on Amazon that is one of those like whatever country you're in you just pop out that adapter it's really great. And it came with extra fuses in case you blow a fuse. Then I have a backup one that's just for the EU. I have extra charging cables, both for my iPad and one that you can put, you know, whichever one on, whether it be a USB-C, whether it be the Android one, just whatever. I keep my Apple Pencil. I keep extra hair clips. I keep playing cards. Very important. I always whip out playing cards. Like they all, I'm always like, do I need these? Yeah, you need them. Keep them with you. I keep wired headphones. I keep my AirPods, but honestly I'm in the market for like AirPods. I think I've talked about this before. Like, I don't know if they're worth the hype. I got actually sent my AirPods by Quinn, which is so humiliating because everybody knows I'm jerking it. Like, oh, I'm just wearing my Quinn headphones in public. Oh, that bitch is jerking it. Uh, yeah, I saw your pink ass headphones, pervert. She's, she's getting her nut off. Anyway. Anyway. So I put a little sticker over the Quinn logo. I love you, Quinn. Thanks for sending me that, but I'm, I can embarrass sometimes. Um, I think that's pretty much it. Oh, I finished Emily in Paris. Girl. I talked shit on Emily in Paris for so long. And don't get me wrong, it is a juvenile show, but I am addicted to Emily in Paris. I'm addicted to Emily in Rome, Emily in Paris, and I'm excited for season whatever the fuck they're on now, season 12. I can't wait. I can't wait. The twins called it Edible in Paris. It's fun to take an edible and watch Emily in Paris and be like, my close personal friend, Emily Cooper. What is she going to do? And Mindy and Alfie were hooking up. Oh my God, the tea. It was tea. Anyway, Edible in Paris. I downloaded all of that on my iPad. I also downloaded Heated Ravelry on my iPad. I started it on the plane. And then I was like, obviously I'm not watching this on the fucking plane. Softcore porn. Nope, not going to do it. And then it turns into hardcore. Anyway, I think that's pretty much it for what's in my travel bag. Those are my, I don't keep like skincare and all that shit. I know some people go crazy on that. I feel weird doing that. It's also just not hygienic. Like it's not hygienic. Even if you go into the airplane bathroom and like wash your hands in the shit, I just, I don't know. I do my skincare before and after I'm on the plane. Oh, I always keep my water bottle. I keep my water bottle with me and I fill it up with ice water before the flight, just like at a restaurant or in the lounge or whatever in the airport. And then I also keep hand lotion. I keep hand lotion and cuticle oil with me at all times. I also have literally in my carry-on alone, six chapsticks. Dude, this pocket, that pocket, that pocket. Just in case, I cannot be without chapstick. Also, if I'm doing like a quick trip where I have my actual carry-on luggage that I've packed to kind of fit through TSA, then I'll put my personal item on there and then I'll put my purse in that. And I like that about the CalPak because you can fit your actual purse inside of it if you pack accordingly. Because it's just big. I love it. I love it. And I wish Repetto would make one that's like durable and not, you know, they're so pretty. I love Repetto's stuff. But for that price point, it should be durable. It should be long lasting. And you should make it in every color way imaginable. So, Repetto, listen to me. I'm telling you, bro, I could put you on. Okay, a small little update as well. I was just in Paris for Paris Fashion Week. Very much fun, very stunning and gorgeous. I did the Patu show and I got invited to a Jimmy Choo dinner. So much fun, so well done. Just like, I love Patu. They had me back for a second year, which I'm so honored, but there's so much whimsy in everything that Patu does, between the ruffles, between the colorways, between who they invite to the shows. I feel so honored. And it's very feminine in a way that is classic, which is so, so, so me. I love a plaid. I love a well-fitted coat. I love a beautiful crop. They do the balloon sleeves so well with the ruching. Oh, it's just stunning. And their shoes amaze, jewelry amaze. I had a damn blast. And then Jimmy Choo invited me to a dinner where I got to, oh my God, me and Gigi Good got to catch up. Just so fun, so intimate and really cool. Like for me who, I mean, obviously I could talk about this for hours of growing up as a big fatty and still being considered kind of plus, you know, like I lost a bunch of weight. I went from a size 18 to a size 12, you're still seen as a big fatty in the fashion world. Sorry. And you're not. Like a size 12, even a size 18, I don't believe is a big fatty. Like it's just so, and even if you are a big fatty, period, there is nothing wrong with being a big fatty. Being demonized in the fashion industry and the fashion world, like that's a whole other separate discussion that I just, I can get into it a later date if y'all would like me to. But this feels very, it's just nice, you know, to be still the size that I am. I am not stick thin. I've got curves. And to be invited and seen in these places, it's like, it's good. It's great. And it feels like a step in the right direction through this like heroin chic thing that we're all living through again, where we're watching celebrities literally deteriorate in front of our eyes. It's like, what does the average woman look like? Isn't the average size of an American woman a size 12? I'm pretty sure it is. If not, then it's bigger than that. Especially in recent years, it's just the access to healthy food and then the GLP-1s and everything. There's a lot going on. So to be invited to these places where historically, maybe it's felt like your body is demonized or your body is other. You know, it just feels, I am honored in a lot of different ways to be invited to these rooms. And it's, it's a lot of fun too, because I love fashion and you know, you're, it's, it would be a lie to say that I, not just me, but any bigger woman or person feels excluded and that's on purpose, you know? So to be in those rooms is, it's cool. And I don't take it for granted. And, uh, it's a lot of fun. It's also fun to just talk with like-minded people and people from all over, you know, we're here we are in Paris and I'm sitting next to Gigi Goode and like all these people that are just from such different walks, different walks of life and to compare and come together for the love of like fashion and shoes. It's just cool. I felt very much Carrie Bradshaw. So, yeah, that was a lot of fun. I am hoping that for March, I'll be back in Paris. And you know what's crazy is like, I don't, no one recognizes me in Paris, which is, it's like period. It's actually kind of period. So yeah, love Paris, love Paris Fashion Week. I also wanted to say that, Oh, just something kind of As a downer to end the episode on But I want to talk about it Y'all know I went to Texas A&M I'm wearing an A&M sweatshirt Literally not even on purpose I historically have been very proud of A&M You know, they, up until a few years ago Were making steps in the right direction and fostering an environment that any higher education should foster of academic discourse, of a safe space for curiosity. And A&M prides itself on creating future leaders. The steps and the, I don't know, Texas A&M is embarrassing. It's very embarrassing nowadays. And they cower to the administration, to the right-wing fascist administration. They fire professors for teaching women and gender studies, anything centering DEI, anything centering religion or ethics, all of the things that have never been more important in recent history, firing professors for teaching those points on a syllabus. and it's humiliating. It is humiliating to watch this happen. And all of this is in the midst of Texas A&M doing a rebrand called Force for Good. And this isn't, look, I understand what I'm doing by coming on this podcast and talking about it, but like, this is humiliating. I'm going to be around the world wearing my Aggie ring, wearing Texas A&M merchandise, and that's the state of what's happening on campus is you are firing professors for talking about gender in a women and gender studies class. I mean, I'm like literally struggling for words. I'm so angry. And of course, this isn't, change happens on college campuses. College campuses, academia is where leaders are truly born, educated protesters who are rebelling against the powers that be. That's how it should be because they're armed with knowledge. And it's not, I say this pretty much every fucking week. It's not by mistake that the administration at large is targeting research institutions and places of higher learning. It's not by mistake that they're targeting education and not just colleges everywhere, putting the 10 commandments in classrooms. It's just like, where are the people resisting? So at A&M, there is a resistance happening, which I'm very, very proud of. And I'm watching it and they have my full support. And I'm just like, I watched this devastating video of this philosophy professor speaking in front of the academic building in the middle of campus saying, they are telling me as a philosophy professor, I cannot teach Plato because Plato had ideas on there being more than two genders. This isn't even, it's not left wing, right wing, this, it's Plato. Like one of the pillars of human philosophy. And you're going in and saying that Plato had it wrong. it doesn't even fucking matter. Like if we're going on that cellular of a level of what can and cannot be taught, that is cowardice. It is so fucking enraging to me that at a place like Texas A&M, a research institute, you are going in and censoring and policing what can and cannot be taught. Are you out of your gob? And it's one of those things where it's like, you think that it won't happen to you. You think that you see it in the news and it's like, oh, I would never have it. Yeah. And it's happening. It's happening now. Force for good. Sure. What good is that serving? Firing professors for teaching things that have actually never been more important to teach. I'm also thinking, you know, like A&M, this is just me bitching now. A&M, donors and funding, all of it goes to the business school, to engineering, to agriculture, all these things that A&M is known for. Sure. Great. I went to school. I attended class in a building that flooded every time it rained, that had black mold growing in the ceiling, the liberal arts college. And it's like, you know, I've always like one of my dreams one day, if I do this for long enough, Like when I'm in my 40s, I want to create, I want to give back to A&M and create a building and provide funding and scholarships, whatever, for the liberal arts college. The things that like humanities and the arts, it actually is going to make me emotional. Like that's where the money should be going. in the age of AI and like tech taking over, like where is the humanity? And it's like, I'm watching this be, the flame is being extinguished, you know, for it's, you're almost being told not to have those passions or not to explore those passions when that's what makes us. It's infuriating. So I don't know. I'm at a crossroads now where I want to, that's where I want my money to go. And I don't want to give my money to a school like A&M at this point. Like fucking figure it out. They've been through five presidents in the last five years. Get it together. Humiliating. I think it's also stupid as fuck to think that any college, any place of higher education would ever be right-leaning. That's an academia. If you are educated, how would you ever be right-wing? I just can't. It actually is so maddening to think about. I'm very frustrated with A&M. I'm frustrated with the attack on education and on censorship and on telling educated professionals with PhDs what they can and cannot teach. Thanks for listening, guys. Go watch the new YouTube video if you give a shit. And I really appreciate listening and fuck ICE and fuck Donald Trump and fuck this entire administration, but I have hope. I cling to hope. Of course I have hope. You have to. There's no other option. This is such a period of growing pains and of the old dying out and the new being ushered in. And we have to make sure that what's being ushered in is not some diluted, distorted version of what freedom looks like or freedom some are more equal than others. This animal farm bullshit. It's so terrifying to watch every single day. Okay. Thanks for listening. Sorry I got all riled up. I love you guys. Finally watched Heated Rivalry. Hope you're happy. Neat overview in the bag. I'll see you next week. Very exciting episode of Royal Court this week as well. So go check that out. Love y'all. Talk to you soon. Bye-bye. We'll see you next time.