Meanwhile | Hudson River Fish

It's the Late Show Pot Show with Stephen Colbert. Welcome back. Give it up for Lois Cato and the great big John Machine. How's the machine tonight? The machine is good? It's good. Well done. All right, go. Well done. Excellent. Folks, if you watched this show, you know I spend most of my time right over there in the tackle room combining the most topical G Loomis Conquest bait caster with fast-action tapers and Torsite guys with Shimano Stella SW Reel with the braided Power Pro Super 8 Slick Mainline matched with a Sunline FC Sniper Flora Carbon Leader to make for you the elite competition bass fishing rod that is my nightly monologue. But sometimes, just sometimes, folks, while alluding Taiwanese bounty hunters along the Thameswe River, I rip some twine off a squatter shanty and strap it to a discarded hockey stick and then catch my dinner with the fugitive jigging pole of news that is my segment. Meanwhile. That's like the doors of perception while you're cleansed. Meanwhile, according to a new study, eating more plants is linked to a lower risk of dementia. And that sounds you hear as a million Americans saying, well, I've already had 50 good years of remembering what year it is. Meanwhile, in food news, the question people want an answer to is why is everyone pouring melted chocolate into Pringles cans right now? Counterpoint. Why is anyone not pouring melted chocolate into Pringles cans right now? It's got everything. Sweet, salty, can. Here's how she works. People are pouring melted chocolate into a tube of Pringles. And once the chocolate is set, extruding their clinical depression log and cutting into it for a salty sweet snack. Well, there's your problem. Why are you cutting it? It's already in the perfect shape for jamming in the old sad hole. Meanwhile, a new study says consuming matcha may help reduce sneezing by suppressing brainstem activity tied to the sneezing reflex. That's great. Hey, quick question. Should we be concerned that matcha suppresses any brainstem activity? You got to try this latte. It's amazing. You'll forget your children's names. Meanwhile, there's a new trend in which fitness fans are traveling around the world for so-called run-cations. Hold on. Just one second. Just need to update my list of people I have nothing in common with. Run-cations. There you go. Because if it's not clear, run-cations are getaways centered on running, which can include everything from destination races to hotels that employ their own running concierges. Hello, is this the concierge? Can you help me? This is my first time in your city and I hate fun. Uh-huh. Thank you. Meanwhile, a Harvard doctor is promoting the three P's of healthy pooping, which we're told by him are pliability, pelvic floor, and propulsion. Really? Propulsion? I'm doing my business here, not launching triton nukes from a sub. Was I supposed to be going for distance this whole time? Meanwhile, scientists are asking, what's the most painful sting in the world? That's easy. It's the sting of your best friend from middle school making new high school friends and pretending she doesn't remember that choreography you learned over the summer. One of the main contenders is the sting of the irakanji jellyfish, which after 20 minutes causes a sense of overexertion or malaise, followed quickly by a sensation like a jackhammer to the kidneys that lasts for up to 12 hours. Then victims endure a parade of symptoms including profuse sweating that drenches the bedsheets several times an hour and unrelenting vomiting every few minutes for up to 24 hours. A condition scientists refer to as having two negronies after age 32. Meanwhile, the deadly irakanji. Meanwhile, thanks to cleaner conditions, the New York City government says you can eat fish caught in the Hudson River for the first time in 50 years. You can. But I'll pass. Because that's not the sales pitch you think it is. Hey babe, we're gonna have sex now. I'm herpes free for the first time in 50 years.