Hope Deferred Makes the Heart Sick | Girls Gone Bible

Have you ever been in a relationship and kept having unwanted doubts like, do I love them enough? Am I really happy? What if God has someone better for me? And those questions felt impossible to ignore. And suddenly you're repeatedly praying for certainty or signs, constantly comparing your relationship to others and asking friends what they think over and over. But you can't find peace no matter what you try. Expected relationship doubts can feel so real and so scary, but here's what's important to know. Thoughts like these can be a sign of relationship OCD. Unlike the stereotypes about being organized, real OCD is a serious condition that can latch onto anything we care about. Relationship OCD creates this never-ending loop of doubt and anxiety, followed by behaviors you do to try and feel better, but the relief never lasts. But OCD doesn't have to take over your relationships because it's highly treatable with the type of specialized therapy called exposure and response prevention, or ERP. And that's why we're excited to tell you about NoCD. NoCD is the world's leading OCD treatment provider and all of their licensed therapists specialize in ERP. Therapy with NoCD is 100% virtual, covered by insurance for over 138 million Americans and includes support between sessions. Their therapists are extensively trained, deeply understanding and ready to help you reclaim your relationships. If any of this sounds like you or someone you care about, visit nocd.com and book a free 15-minute call to learn more about how NoCD can help. That's nocd.com. When you're done drinking that, can I have a little sip? Hey, you can have it. Yeah, you can have it. Yeah, you can have it. Oh, you can have it. We get a little funky at 8 AM, eh? Oh my gosh. Is there alcohol in this? Yeah, yeah, there's alcohol in that, I did a little shot of gin this morning just to really get the day started. Is there alcohol in it? I don't know. Are you out of your mind? I hope you would bring me to a rehab if I came in at 8 in the morning putting alcohol in a coffee. Okay, then what is that? What kind of woman of God do you think I am? What's in this? I have become... You did something interesting. I have become a coffee connoisseur. So I have a routine, not only has the Breville completely transformed and changed my life. Sure. I do a shot of the... It's like this vanilla... Is it lavender or tea? No, it's vanilla syrup. What is it called? Vanilla. Syrup? Syrup? Syrup? I put a little vanilla syrup. Why are you saying that? Syrup. Syrup? And then I do a little bit of vanilla paste or honey. Vanilla paste. Yeah, it's like vanilla. And then I mix it together and then I do the almond milk vanilla, that and then I put some honey in it with cinnamon on top. Remember when I used to use seed oil, oat milk? I can't believe you used to drink oat milk. And I was like blowing up like a balloon. Well, oat milk is the worst thing for your body. By the way, you with gold shadow. Do I have gold shadow on? Yeah, you have gold eyeshadow. Your eyes look insane. Oh, really? You look beautiful. I was... You know how you have to go like that so you can see that was me getting ready this morning. Well, I stayed at my friend's house and I forgot all my makeup. And so, you know, when you have to use somebody else's makeup, it's just like Russian roulette. Even the foundation. Foundation, concealer. She's like not even the same color as you. She's Jamaican. I know. I know. I literally can't even believe that I look okay. Yeah, you look beautiful. Thank you. Did you wash your hair? So I washed my hair yesterday and you know when you don't wash out all the conditioner and then you have this sticky hair and you're trying to curl it. Yeah, that was me this morning. Anyways, don't look at me like that. Anyways, I slept on the... I was just telling Andrews, but I slept on... Do you guys have a side of the bed that you just always sleep on? I slept on the opposite side last night and I had the most demonic dreams that I'm not even going to get into. But they were horrific. I want to hear them. No, it was horrific. That's awful. Oh, and by the way, you told me that you were moving to Japan. Wait, that's prophetic because remember Doug? I was talking to Doug yesterday about going to Japan. No way. That's weird. That's like weirdly prophetic. Oh my gosh. It's like... Yeah. And I said maybe for the fashion, but other than that, no. And then they said I did. I was like, of course I would say that. I don't think we would survive in Japan. So I am on the tail end of the flu. I'm going to talk as little as possible this episode because nobody wants to listen to this. We're going. We're going friend. I preached this weekend with 101 fever. I don't know how I got through. It was literally the grace of God. The first night my family and people in the audience said, when I went out on stage, I had no voice. And within a couple of minutes, I was speaking with like a full voice, which is the supernatural grace of God. Hez, yeah. Heck yeah. We've become such dorks. We are such dorks. And then so we're in Ontario and you want to tell them your story? Yeah. Does anybody have the video of me telling the Bon Jov story? It was such a cute little moment. I want that to send to my mom. She keeps asking me about it. But basically, I always travel with Ange everywhere. So I have no brain cells when I travel now. I've been traveling since I was a kid. I've been on my own since I was a kid. And now I'm like a child. I have no idea what I'm doing in airports. I check in for her. I turn off my brain completely when I'm with her. I'm so in my masculine. I just can't do it anymore. I really act like a princess when I'm with people. Oh, a princess. You guys have no idea. She doesn't open doors for herself anymore. We get to a door and if she's in front of me, she stops and waits for me to open it for her. And I love it for her. But like, I need a man. I'm going to keep going. No, I don't. We're decentering men. Don't get me started on men. Don't get me started. I have to come out of this negative mindset of men right now. You do. Oh, yeah, you do. You need to go on dates. Oh, please. I'm like, now I'm in a different country. I land and I'm just, I panic. I'm like, oh my gosh, I'm in a different country. What am I going to do? I was just panicking. I'm like, I can't believe I'm in this position where I am like this when I travel now. So I'm on the phone with my girlfriend and I'm like, oh my gosh, I'm in a different country. I was, I'm so stupid. This is so stupid. But I was like, I'm in a different country now. They don't have cars. No one speaks English because I always would go to Quebec when I was a kid and everyone was French. And so I land, I go up to the sky at the airport and I'm like, and I was like, bonjour. I was like, do you guys have cars? And he looked at me and he was like, yeah. I was like, the Uber's downstairs. I didn't think that they had Uber's because I was in a different country. We were in a third world country. We were in Ontario, Canada. But if anybody has that video, can you please DM it to me? I really want it. And then another funny part was, you know, we talk about mental health law on the podcast and sometimes, you know, Jesus is also joy. He's not just depression and saving you from depression, even though that is a lot of people's story. Ari and I are on the plane. What are you going to say? We're on the plane on the way back and it's like almost a six hour flight. It was so far. We had just preached two nights in a row. I'm still like getting over the flu. So I'm super sick. The last thing I wanted to do was talk about anything spiritual. I was fried. I just wanted to like zone out and have a good time and just like watch YouTube and just chill out. And Ari looks at me and goes, Hey, and like taps on me. I take out my headphones. She goes, this week we should talk about depression. I said, what do you think about? I go, what do you think about next week? I go, what do you think about next week's episode? God restores those who are too far gone. No, no, no. That was after first it was, first it was, what do you think we need to talk about depression? And I look at her and I go, she is her hair in a top knot. She's so frazzled and gone. So gone. And I look at her, I go, I don't want to talk about depression. I want to be happy. I don't want to talk about depression anymore. I just want to be happy. And then later on, and then she's like dying laughing because of my response. And then later on she goes, Hey, what do you think we do? God restores what's been lost. And I'm like for the love of God, just leave me alone. I don't want to talk about it. I was like, yeah, you're right. God is joy. Let's just have a fun episode. So, so what we landed on after singles have a fun episode is hope deferred makes the heart sick. So here we are again with sick hearts. And if I'm being honest, I could learn a little lesson on what to do when hope deferred makes the heart sick. So take it away sister. And honestly, I was thinking about like what's my hope deferred right now in my season and I'm like, men. Yeah. I've decentered men. I don't know what that means. Sorry, I just looked to you like an owl. I'm just like, what is decentering? Decentering men means that they're no longer the center of your life. You know, we're decentering. Oh, they haven't been the center of my life in years. Thank you, God. But I'm just, I love love. It's really hard for me. I love love too, but I'm just, okay, like, you know what? No, I'm going to stop. Go ahead. No, because it's just so, I hate speaking death, but I'm sure girls, can you relate to me at all? Do you guys sometimes wonder like where are the men? Like, like where are the strong men? Where are those men that are really just strong? Yeah. Where are the strong men of God? Where are you? I feel for women right now. Yeah, I feel like there's this, we've got to be in the end times. No, that's what it is. That's what it is, right? Because I'm looking around and I'm like, this can't be right. They really are great men. There is such a good man. I know there is. Yeah, there's great men. We've. This podcast is sponsored by active skin repair, a skin health brand that helps your skin heal using natural, non-toxic medical grade ingredients. What makes active skin repair different is that it uses the same proprietary formulation trusted in hospitals. The key ingredient is hypochlorous acid, a molecule your body naturally produces. 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I'm such a hopeless remote romantic. There's really nothing that can happen that gets me to give up on love. I love love. I believe in true love. I think love is amazing. I think there are amazing men out there. They're hiding. I love Jesus. I'm...that's it. I love Jesus too. And you need to get out there. You've been...you've gotten a little too comfortable being alone. You know what, Ange? Do you agree? He who finds a good thing. He finds it for sure. He who finds a good thing. Yeah, but what if the good thing is at home feeding hummingbirds and like... You guys, can I just tell this story real quick? Please. I would love nothing more. Listen, I have to tell you this story real quick. So I was dealing with a lot of anxiety. And I have this dream, okay? And I'm like in the sun and I have my head laying down on my shoulder. And this hummingbird comes and sits on the end of my arm and he like lays on my arm. And all of a sudden I'm washed with complete peace. And I'm just smiling and this bird is just laying on the end of my arm. And so I wake up and I'm just in complete peace. And you know those dreams where it was just so... You could feel it. It was just so vivid. And so I start looking up like the significance of a hummingbird and it means peace. And then it signifies the Holy Spirit. And so I was like, this is insane. And so every time I would have anxiety, I would think about that dream and it would just completely put me in peace. So probably about two weeks later, I decided to bring my chair up to my window because I just wanted sun on my face. And I wanted that to kind of be my secret place. So I bring my chair up to my window and I'm sitting on my chair and I'm looking at the window and I have all these trees. And all of a sudden that hummingbird comes and sits right at my window. And I was like, I just start crying and I couldn't believe it. Every day that hummingbird comes by my window. So I go and get it a bird feeder. I watch it every morning and it's like my mom on the phone with my mom the other day. And I'm like, mom, I gotta call you back. Mom and my babies today. I literally call my baby. So cute. Does he know you? Yes, I'm like his mom. I feel like his mom. And so he has a little nest right by the tree in my window and I go, hi baby. And he wiggles his little butt. I'm gonna put a video up right now. Look. Weird. I sent you the video and you don't, I talked to her about my bird. I named him Shalom. Wait, that's so cute. And I sent you a video and she doesn't even respond to it anymore. She doesn't even, I send her video of my bird all day. This is what my life has come to. I go, mom, I thought by this time I would be having kids and I'm calling you about the bird every day. Okay. It's butt is wagging. I say, hi baby. And he wiggles his bum. Look at that beak. I love the beak. All right. We're gonna get started, but I just need to show you this at the end real quick. So, so I'm saying hi to him. Okay. Yeah. But look at this and just watch, please. You're gonna love this. Watch this. Look. Like I'm not kidding. I'm not crazy. I'm not like a bird lady. No, the bird loves you. He loves it. I named him Shalom. I named him Shalom, which means peace. Cutie. You, you, you are so. Everyone's, so everyone's been D and M and me saying that I'm a, I'm real life Cinderella. Disney princess. You really are. You're also so good at romanticizing life. Really? Yeah. Except men. Yeah. Stop telling me you have to get out there and. Or don't. What do you feel God calling you to do? Just kidding. In my professional opinion, you've gotten a little comfortable being alone. Did you ever think that would happen? No. So we're going to talk about a verse in proverbs. Hope deferred makes the heart sick. This verse is brutally honest. When what you're hoping for keeps getting delayed, it can actually make your heart feel heavy, discouraged, even numb. And so we want to talk about that today. I'm excited to talk about this because I think there's always a conversation around the waiting and like how to wait well and what waiting produces and how waiting is a good thing. But I just don't think anyone talks about the fact that waiting can, it can genuinely make your heart sick. Yeah. It can make you bitter. It can make you depressed. Even when you know biblical truths that God has a good plan for your life plans to prosper you not to harm you. Sometimes that still doesn't keep you from getting sick. So like what do we do genuinely to keep our hearts from getting sick? Yeah. Yeah. And it's a season that I was in four years ago when everything got stripped from me when I was hoping for certain things in my life. Like I wanted to get married. I wanted certain things to work out and it just didn't. That made me so sick to the point where like it manifested physically. Yeah. Like it's a real thing. Like a sick heart is no joke. And so and God sees that too. Blessed are those who mourn. He understands sickness. He experienced that in the Garden of Gostemini when he was literally sweating blood. So it's a real thing. And I experienced that when I was in my 30s and everything got to me and you know my story. I was so heart sick. So when a promise is delayed whether it be a heartbreak or a purpose or just a loss. And so we wanted to talk about that today. I just finished reading the story of Joseph. I've read it so many times but it really hit home for me again after just reading it. And he's a perfect example of hope deferred makes the heart sick. Yeah. What? I just love you. Why? I just do. Did I do something? Yeah. I was thinking about I don't know what it is and I wish we could get the meme and put it up real quick. But there's this meme that if I had to think of any meme that would show Ange it would be this man. Or is maybe it's a woman. And it's like when your friends wrong. When your friends wrong but she will like always and she's in the back and she's like do you have that meme? Yeah. We'll put it up. Literally I'll put it up. If you haven't studied the story of Joseph please study it. It is one of my favorite stories and it's probably one of the stories that I relate to personally the most. Yeah. But God gives Joseph a dream that he was going to be in a position of authority. That his family would literally bow down to him. And then the opposite happens to him. He gets betrayed by his brothers. He gets thrown into a ditch. He gets sold into slavery. He gets falsely accused. He gets thrown into a prison. And then he gets forgotten by the very person that he helped. And so he's in prison every year that goes by that he's forgotten. Heart sick. And Joseph wasn't in prison for like a week. He was in prison for years. We forget like how even David, David, Joseph, how many years they were on the run or in prison like and we they look like little stories. I know. But it's like real life situations. Yeah. And I even think about my own situation like oh my gosh it's been so many years and I haven't gotten what I what I want. And then you think about these stories of like Joseph, he was in prison. Picture this. He's in prison for years. Can you imagine how emotionally sick he was? The uncertainties that he carried, the weariness that he carried in his heart. I can't even imagine what he went through. But what I love is that through that he didn't let his sick heart be the very thing that made him give up. What did he do in prison? He kept showing up with integrity. He kept serving. He kept using the gifts that God gave him interpreting dreams. He kept using the dreams. That's Galatians 6, 9. Don't grow weary. What does that mean? It's okay to feel uncertain. It's okay to feel your feelings. Like I said, those who mourn are blessed. God doesn't expect us to be super humans. God wasn't a super human. But through that weariness, there's a difference between being tired and growing weary to the point where you say, I don't want to do this anymore. I give up. So it's through your weariness. You don't give up. Because what does it say next? On the other side, there is a harvest when you don't give up. What is before a harvest? You have to plant it. You have to water it. You have to wait. Because there is unseen growth in the waiting. And so when I think about Joseph, if God would have given him everything in that moment when he gave him that dream, he wouldn't have had the character to sustain it. So it was through all of these years of what he went through that built him, that strengthened him, that built his humility. And so when he was handed the call that God had for him in his life, he was able to sustain it. And not only that, but you have to understand your life is connected to so much more than you. And what does Joseph say at the end? You intended to harm me, but God intended it for good to accomplish what is now being done for the saving of many lives. I love that. His life was connected to so much more than him. In his Euryjusus story, it also built this dependency on God. And I think that of my own life, all of the things that I wanted for myself, I wanted to be a mother, I wanted to be a wife. And while yes, that's a good desire that I have, God had other plans for me. And I say this all the time, but I'm so grateful that God doesn't give us what we want when we want it. Because I did not have the character to be able to be a mother yet. I have been able, God has been working on my character and me and building me as a woman for the past coming on four years. And I look back and I'm like, thank you that you didn't give me what I wanted at the time when I wanted it, because I can't believe the woman that I am. And now he's worked on me so much as a woman. I've been able to break things, generations of things that have been embedded in me. He's been working on my character and I'm so glad he didn't, he didn't give me what I wanted at the time. Because I can't believe who I am now. And I still have a quiet ache of wanting these things. There's things that I still don't have yet, hope deferred. I have a longing for certain things in my life. But what I do know is God's timing is not good, it's perfect. And when you don't have something, it truly is because he's doing something in you. One thing that I know, even though I don't have it yet, is that God is good and he's faithful. And so before where I would let it make me better at it and so depressed and depleted, through him building my faith through these years and the track record of my life, I know that if I don't have something yet, God is still good and he's still faithful. And the plan that he asked for my life is the very best plan, whether he doesn't bring me what I want or not. I know at the end of the day that I have Jesus. I truly do. That doesn't mean that I don't hurt, but I still keep going. I don't let that be the very thing that keeps me better-winning and depressed. And so you're not, you're not letting your life pass by waiting for something. You are living in the waiting. Yes. And so what do we do in this time? I'm so grateful that, that my pain and the heart sick, it motivated me to be dependent on God, activated a faith to keep going, to keep serving. Look at what I've done with my life. Look at what God had for me on the other side of me wanting to have that marriage and that relationship. I kept going and learning and been consecrated to God and look at what he's done in my life. There's a purpose for every single one of us. We just, I love that you say that. We just can't let our life pass us by. I know how hard it is when you're longing for something and you are, it's like this grief that makes you feel like, will I ever be okay again? And that when you are dealing with such grief, it really makes you never want to get out of bed. I know that feeling, but you have to understand that God is so faithful and then he loves. This episode is brought to you by Glorify, the number one Christian daily devotional app. Glorify is such an amazing way to stay connected to God throughout the day. Honestly, you guys, you're going to love having something on your phone that immediately points you back to God because life gets busy. Your mind gets loud and sometimes you just need one moment to be still and remember who God is with Glorify. You can start your morning with the Bible passage of the day, read the daily devotional and spend time in their immersive experience called daily walk with God. And it's not just for the morning. If you need a few minutes in the middle of the day, Glorify has guided meditations and curated worship playlists for quiet reflections. 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And just constantly submitting your waiting and your heart back to Jesus, constantly, like the only way to keep your heart from getting sick is to continuously give it back to him every single day in the secret place, back to the basics. I feel like we just can't get away from as I walked through a situation where my heart got sick even recently. I remember thinking like I need some sort of magical Jesus remedy to get me better, to get me past this, to get me through this, to make my heart not sick anymore. And actually what I needed was the very thing that I did when I first met him, which is wake up in the morning, read the Bible, pray, let Jesus love me and do the things that I did in the beginning. We never graduate from those basics. I just feel like the longer you walk with Jesus, the more simple it should be getting. That's what I've discovered the most. If there's not some magical thing to do to wait well or get your heart back in a good place, the only thing you can do is spend time with Jesus. The only thing you can do is soak and bask in the goodness of God, in the presence of Jesus. That's what I've learned from me and something that I want to say when it comes to waiting. Two stories in the Bible that I love so much. We have Elizabeth who gives birth to John the Baptist. She has to wait a long time. She has a long waiting season. I imagine her heart got sick in her waiting. Elizabeth had to give birth to John the Baptist at the time that she did so that he could prepare the way for Jesus to come. That was divinely connected to the life of Jesus. We have Hannah in the Old Testament. She had to wait to give birth to Samuel so that he could then be at the right time in the right place to anoint David as king. Like Ari said, our lives are not just for ourselves. We are one little, what do they say? We're like one little thread in the tapestry of God. We're one little part of a massive story. We cannot try to figure out with our own physical eyes and understanding how God should move in our lives when we are connected to something so much bigger than us. That always encourages me so much that like, sure, I have all these plans. I think I know the way that things should go, but I have no idea what God is doing. I have no idea what my children are going to be connected to. Then one last thing that I want to say, like Ari talked about developing your character, this is what should be getting your heart un-sick the most, is that if God hasn't brought you something yet, he truly is developing you. I just want to give you guys an example. Ari and I began in Girls Gone Bible and I believe it was the will of God that things happened the way that they happened, but the way things happened for us in ministry with the podcast is not conventional and it's not the way that God typically does things. He developed Jesus in obscurity before Jesus ever started his ministry. The Lord developed us in front of people and there's so much beauty in that because look what people got to witness. Two girls on a true sanctification journey. It was amazing. It was beautiful. Also, our character was not prepared for it. Do you know what it's been like behind the scenes? Stumbling our way through this. Crying, screaming, not only trying to learn, but even us together. It was our character. We did not have what it took to sustain what we were walking in. By the grace of God, we had people around us, mentors, pastors, leaders, and the spirit of God walking us through. Thank God we did it with each other because it's been really messy. Thank God we both are doing this with someone who accepts the other person. It's been the hardest thing we've ever walked through is trying to carry this platform and being in ministry and all the insecurity that comes up and all the weird stuff and all the yucky stuff that had to be purged out of us. It's been brutal. So I say that to say I'm so happy it happened the way that it did because there's been so much fruit that's come from it, but it's been hard. We've seen firsthand what it's like to be given something before having the character to sustain it. Even now, I want to be a mom more than anything. I am currently going through so much therapy and doing work with Jesus because I've been made aware of things that I do not want transferred onto my kids. There are ways even a year ago that I would have parented that I'm so grateful I don't have children yet. There are things that I've adopted from my lineage that I'm like, I want this to be different. I want it to be different for my kids. I don't want to react in this way. I don't want to respond in this way. So while I want to have children truly more than anything, more than anything, I want to be a mom. I've got work to do. There's work currently as of right now that I'm doing because I want to be a better parent. So yes, while I have this desire, what helps my heart not be sick is knowing that there's so much work to be done right now. And I didn't know that before. Before I was kind of like, life is meant to be fun and have kids and just have a good life and blah, blah, blah. No, there's work to be done. And I'm grateful that Jesus has me in the place that I'm in right now where I'm alone and I'm doing really, really hard work that I've never had to do before. It's the greatest blessing. And in the moment you think you're being punished and it's like, no, it is the love of God that he took that person away. He hasn't given you that purpose yet because it's in that time where you would not be able to learn and sustain the character and be the person you are without this time. My singleness season, I have gone through so much, but I am just like, thank you God that I wasn't doing this with another person. I wouldn't have been able to do it. I just even think about, how would I have been into ministry? How would I have learned and been on tour and done all these things if I would have had kids and a husband? And so if you're even in a waiting season right now, one thing I love, you read about Paul when he says, it is better to be single because you can focus more on the things of God. And so sometimes when I'm even with Jesus, I have tears in my prayer time because I'm like, it's so sweet that the Lord has you just with him. Yeah. Like he wants you to himself right now. You should don't look at it as, oh my gosh, everyone's married and I'm alone. No, look at this time as the precious time that God wants you for himself. God has truly wanted me for himself. I know that for all these years because I've been with him and I've gotten to learn about him and I've gotten to really understand his love and I've gotten to really love his people and be a servant for his people. That's so beautiful. And so if you're in the waiting season right now, this is the most precious time of your life, even if it has been years, because everybody in the Bible, it wasn't a year or two. It was years. But to become the person that God is developing you into isn't overnight. Just like when you see a harvest planting, it's not overnight. It takes time. And so I just know that he is good. He is faithful and his time really is perfect. And so every time you start to get weary, bring it to him, partner with him in that way, you know, but don't let it get you to the point where it's where you say, I'm throwing the towel and I'm giving him, I'm giving up because it's in this place where he does his best work. Yeah. But at the end it says, but a desire fulfilled is a tree of life. What I learned is that even if that desire is different, it might be different from what you think it is. And mine was, I thought my life was going to be so different. I thought I was going to be an actress. I thought I was going to, you know, have this whole different life than what I pictured, but what God gave me, I am more fulfilled that with the plan he had for me. So it might look different. It's just every day I always talk about of the opening of the hands of your will be done, just like Jesus, after he was sweating blood, he said, but nevertheless, not my will be done, your will be done. And so it's that constant of, I know my heart is sick right now. I know there's these things that I want so bad, but your will be done. I give it to you. What are you trying to teach me in this season? How can I keep serving you? And it's just you keep bringing that pain to him every single day. And that's in the, in the moments where you literally see, like you see him, you see him in that sick heart moment. That's where he meets you. That's where he, you cultivate this trust and faith. It is in the moments of your deepest sickness in your heart, where you feel the comfort of God, the love of God and the faithfulness of God. Yeah. Girls Gone Bible is proud to be sponsored by Grand Canyon University, an affordable, private, nonprofit Christian university based in beautiful Phoenix, Arizona. They say higher education is outdated, irrelevant. GCU doesn't settle for the status quo. They shatter it. Grand Canyon University is one of the largest universities in the country. At GCU, academically rigorous, industry driven programs are built to move at the speed of relevance with practical skills, career readiness and opportunity for every learner. As of December, 2025, GCU offered three hundred and eighty programs overall, including a hundred and fifty three degree programs, a hundred and eighty emphasis and 56 certificate programs. GCU believes education shouldn't be a privilege, but an affordable path forward for all grounded in Christian truth. GCU works to empower the next generation to lead with integrity, serve with purpose and help transform their communities, building a future that matters. GCU is purpose driven education. Take action. Find your purpose at GCU, private, Christian, affordable, nonprofit. Visit GCU.edu to learn more. Yeah. I will tell you, I, that's why I can sit up here and boldly talk to you. Not because I've been doing this thing for years, but because I lived it and I have seen the wonders of God through my pain and through my sick heart. Yeah. And so don't give up. Don't let this time of what has been delayed or what you want. That hasn't come to fruition. Be the very thing that makes you give up because it is in this time where he is developing you and working in your life. I don't even know if we should like have anything, like have anything called a waiting season. What are we waiting for? We're not waiting. We already have everything we need. And he's currently doing something always at all times. It's like, it actually doesn't even make sense. We're not freaking waiting. We're being developed. We're living. We're living. Okay. How, how many years do we waste in a waiting season? Because we're just letting our life pass us by waiting for the next thing to come. No, we need to be radically anti-waiting seasons. Because then you get that, just live and then you get that marriage and then you want something else. It's, it's never ending. It's me and my friend were talking the other day. She basically was like, um, she was like, you know, I'm always, I get sad when I don't have something to look forward to. Like I get sad, like I had stagecoach and so I was really excited for that. And then before that I had this to look forward to now. I don't have any like trips coming up or anything planned. And I'm like, that's such a normal feeling. And it's also sad. Yeah. Like we should be happy right now. You know, um, not always just waiting for something waiting for the next fun thing to happen. The next day, like today is the day the Lord has made and today we will rejoice and be glad in it. Truly like, we just shouldn't be waiting all the time. Cause you're never fulfilled. That's why you have to be fit. And that's why Jesus probably might have you in the season. No, truly. Because you're constantly looking for the next high and you need to find that in Jesus to where you are completely content on your own. That's one thing I had to learn. I, I can relate to that. If I didn't have something, if I didn't have that next high, I was miserable. Now put me in my bed with, with some, just let me lay down and look at the trees of my bird and I'm good. But at the same time we are human. We do have desires. Of course. And it's okay too. So it's like, I, I do have that quiet ache sometimes. I desire intimacy. I desire love. I said, I said yesterday, I said, I just want someone to hold me. I want love. So I got it. But yeah. Yeah. Hi. Do you want like, should we do a fun episode? I, well, I, what do you think? Well, you guys told me you think about this. I said we should do Fridays be Fridays be like a normal GGB episode. And then maybe on like Tuesdays, we release like a funny episode where we, I said we should do a cooking, a baking show where we bake food and just like have fun and just be normal, just be and our like, I say just sit here on Fridays and just shoot the sheep. Okay. Let's do it. What do you guys think about a second episode a week, but like we might get canceled if we like let all the walls down and where our truest selves. I'm like loving this, this raspy voice, by the way. Oh my gosh. I wish I permanently had it. It's giving Miley Cyrus. I wish it was, but it's like not cute. I feel like it's not cute or like nice to listen to. I love it. Thank you. It's giving you a little bit of edge. Do that. But, um, we're like sitting there for like 10 minutes and at Starbucks and she looks at me and she goes, Ari, we're not in line. I go, I go, Ari, we're not in line. And she goes, Oh, okay. Now we sat for 10 minutes, not in line at Starbucks. I think neither of us says like, no, what is that? We've done that before when we, we've sat behind a parked car and we thought we were at a red light. And we sat there for 10 minutes and, and I think you were like, we're behind a parked car. That is so diabolical. You ain't the word. I just don't get it. Diabolical. It means like evil, like ridiculous. We don't get it. Diabolical. It's just a big word. No, there's another word that you talk about and it just reminds me too much of something. Hyperbolic. Guys, do you think I'm hyperbolic? I've had people tell me I'm hyperbolic and I don't know. I'm just like a little traumatized. I'm traumatized. Do you guys think I'm hyperbolic? Cause I say like every piece of pizza is the best piece of pizza I've ever had. Or like, this is the best day I've ever had. I don't know, but that Domino's flatbread pizza was amazing. Yeah. We, I, oh, by the way, eating disorder. Who I had donuts and pizza, but, but not in like a binging way. Just like a, like I can have a bite. I'm like free. Okay. Anyways, guys, thank you for joining us on girls gone be blame. We, um, by the way, we had so much fun on tour. It was so beautiful. Toronto and Buffalo were unbelievable. It was. Shut up. It was honestly, it was beautiful. Yeah. And we're going to be coming to Connecticut. We're going to Connecticut and Pennsylvania. You know, I grew up in Connecticut. I grew up in Newtown, Connecticut. So we'll see you Hartford, Connecticut and York, Pennsylvania. York. York. Just show. In the comments, right to us. If you're going to be coming to the show, um, it's just awesome to be with you guys in person. It really is. So special. I, it's everything. We've been loving the East coast. Yeah. Yeah. Well, Toronto isn't the East coast, but it's like, it's like, kind of, it felt like the East coast though. It's on like the outside of the world. Tell me why. So many Albanians. Tell me why Toronto, like I felt safe. I'm like, okay, I can eat whatever cause I'm not in America. Yeah. It was so clean. The food was so good. The fashion. Everybody was put together and then you come to America and everybody looks. No, I'm sorry. Jesus. That's negative. The love America. We love America. But it's like you go to different countries and everybody's so put together. Yeah. They can and everything is just cleaner. Yeah. They don't wear sweatpants like I'm wearing today. Anyways, we love you guys so much. You love you. Don't give up. Keep going. I'm going to try not to give up. I'm going to try not to be negative. Me too. Don't give up. I'm not giving up even through this flu, even through, you know, all the garbage that the world throws. I got nothing. No, seriously. Give up. Yeah. Don't give up. Don't let depression plague your life. I'm serious. And I'm going to say one more thing because on the shows I kept hearing like, but I'm so depressed and I'm the, and I get it because I can really get into that mindset. I even just got into that mindset when we first started the podcast saying, where's the man? Blah, blah. But don't, can you please don't speak death over your life. Don't speak depression constantly over your life. You are not stuck. You are not. It's just a feeling. The heart is deceitful. Keep going. Keep speaking life over you. How do you speak life over yourself? You saturate yourself in the word. There's no way that you can sit in your depression when you are reading God's love letters to yourself. Keep reading. Keep soaking in his presence, in his word. Let him speak to you and minister to your heart through the Bible. I'm telling you there are times where I can't get out of bed and I, I force myself. Sometimes you have to force yourself to open the word of God and read the Psalms and saturate yourself in prayer. Tell him how you're feeling. And then you'll notice that you can start to get up and can start to wash your face and I'm, you, you have to stay close to Jesus, but don't speak death over your life. You are not depressed. You are not pledged by your, your, your delay by your singleness. You are not forgotten. He sees you where he sees you and he's with you and he's working. And you, and you are chosen and you are called and you have a purpose for your life. Take it from someone who thought my life was literally over and it's just begun. Yeah. We love you. We love you so much. We love you. We love you. May the Lord, oh, sorry. May the Lord bless you and keep you. May he make his face shine upon you and be gracious to you. May he turn his face towards you and give you peace. Shalom. Shalom. We love you. Like a little hummingbird named Shalom. Love you guys so much.